My Best Friend Plank

by heavy weapons brony

Rating: teen
Tags: Diamond Tiara, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Silver Spoon, Comedy, Scootaloo, Crossover, Cheerilee, Big Macintosh
Length: 1870

Scootaloo never met the other CMC, instead she befriends someone who lived in Applejack scrap wood.

In this universe Scootaloo never met the CMC.

Torn by recent events in school, Scootaloo goes to be alone, and wishes for a friend. She finds one, in Applejack's Scrap wood pile.

teen for strong language on Plank's part.

Published 2014-09-14 20:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-14 20:20:03 UTC

Hey there buddy!

Scootaloo burst from the front doors of the schoolhouse, tears streaming down her face. A bell rung signaling class was over as she sprinted from the hill.

“And don’t bother coming back you flightless blank-flanked chicken!!” The voice of Scoot’s archnemesis Diamond tiara with a sneer from her toady Silver spoon followed by some stern words from their teacher.

Scootaloo didn’t hear what her teacher said as she lectured the two bullies, she could only focus on what Dimond said to her moments ago, since preschool that bullies has worked away at Scootaloo’s thick skin and today she finally broke though it, Scootaloo was reduced to a sobbing mess. She sobbed all they way home, through her front door and up to her room with so much as a how do you do to her parents.

The pegasus leapt on her bed and buried her face into her pillow, she sobbed until every ounce of hydration was on that pillow. After a good five minutes she finally got somewhat control of her self.

Scootaloo sat on her bed, thinking about past events. Her heart ached as she tried to tell it that Diamonds words weren't true, but it didn’t believe her. Any minute now her mother was going to come upstairs to see what that was all about. Scootaloo couldn’t face her mother like this. So like she often did, Scootaloo snuck downstairs and slid out the backdoor.

At times like this Scootaloo liked to find a place to be alone, lately she would skip rock at the swimming hole near Sweet Apple Acres. Usually nopony was there on a School day, Which is how Scootaloo liked it.

Scootaloo flicked rocks across the surface of the pond, after a few minutes she began to run out of properly shaped rocks, she search the bed of the pond and eventually her eyes fell on her reflection.

She took in the veiw of herself in the still pond, she looked to the left of her, then to the right. The empty spaces next to her dug up the feeling she had been there to forget.

You know? Diamond has made fun of Scootaloo for her inability to fly, her odd color scheme, and her blank flanks but today she hit a nerve that not only hurt Scootaloo because it was harsh, but that it was true.

Scootaloo had no friends.

The very thing that all pony life revolved around no matter what your breed was friendship, and Scootaloo had none of it.

Constant threats from Diamond tiara kept all of her classmates away from her the fact being that she was Diamonds main target all through school.

So Scootaloo soldiered against Diamond’s bullying, that is until recently.

“I wish I had a friend,” Scootaloo said softly, a single tear dropping from her eye and disturbing the surface of the pond.

As soon as the tear lands a shrill grinding noise filled the air, jarring Scootaloo. She heard it coming from Sweet Apple Acres. Scootaloo galloped over the ridge surrounding the pond and towards the farm.

When she got there she found a simply massive red stallion loading bits of wood into a machine, He threw them in one end and the machine reduced them to sawdust in a mere 2 seconds of earshaddering racket.

Scootaloo starred in curiosity as Big Mac (Its a small town where everypony Knows everypony.) took piece after piece of scrap wood from a pile and threw it into the chipper.

Then, after a few piece Big Mac picked up a particular piece, no particular to him, but to Scootaloo. It was a littler more than a foot long, it was a 2x4 that was worn smooth from its days as a floor board but ended up in the pile when new flooring was but in last year.

“WAIT” Scootaloo shouted, approaching Big Mac. The stallion looked down in surprise.

“DONT” THROW THAT POOR CREATURE INTO THAT CHIPPER!! what did he ever do to you?” Scootaloo asked with a tear falling from her eye.

Big Mac looked down at the filly with confusion and stood there with the board in his mouth.

“If don’t want him, I’ll take him,” Scootaloo asked, with a pout and big watery eyes.

Big Mac spit out the board, “Eeeyup.” He said happily.

“Really!” Scootaloo shouted, wing flared with happiness.

Big Mac Nodded.

“Oh Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I give him a good home!” Scootaloo then took the board under her wing and began sprinting home.

Big Mac smile gave away to a face the showed how creeped out her was by what just happened, but if she was happy,.....Big Mac went back to his work.

As Scootaloo ran towards her home she looked down at her new found friend.

“Hi I”m Scootaloo, what your name?”

The board was quiet and un moving underneath Scootaloos wing.

“Oh well you're very welcome, think nothing of it, nice name by the way,......plank.”

Scootaloo hummed happily on the floor in her bedroom, coloring some of her favorite coloring books when plank got her attention.

“What?,...Whats That? sometimes its kinda hard to understand you,...hang on,” Scootaloo picked up a red crayon and drew a shallow U on the upper part of the board.

“Yeah now i can hear you perfect! Wait what? You wish it wasn't so dark? well why didn’t you say so.”

Scootaloo then (Feeling a little artsy.) picked up a blue crayon and drew 2 circles above Plank’s mouth, then dotted them with her red crayon to make pupils.

“There is that better?” Scootaloo listened for a reply,” anytime,” She said with a smile.

Then the door to her room creaked open, revealing a orange coated and purple maned pegasus mare.

“Honey, how are you doing?” The mare asked.

“Oh just fine mom,” Scootaloo answered.

“Okay i was worried with how you came home this afternoon.”

“Oh, it was Diamond again, but i'm over it because i went out today and finally made a friend!”

“Thats wonderful! what their name?”

Scootaloo lifted Plank over her head and shoved him into her Mom’s face.

“Mom, meet my new friend Plank!.” Scootaloo said with a wide grin.

“Oh! oh, okay ummmm hello Plank, would you like to stay for dinner?”

Scootaloo brought Plank to her ear, “He says, As long as you aren't cooking water bugs,...he ate them yesterday.”

Scootaloo’s mother reeled back a bit and raised an eyebrow “Well Plank, we aren't having waterbugs, we are having stove top and its almost ready. So both of you wash up and come down in a minute okay?”

“Okay mom, lets go wash up buddy,” Scootaloo said trotting to the bathroom with plank under her wing.

“Okay that was creepy,” Scootaloo’s mom muttered, “But if she’s happy.”

Scootaloo sat at in her seat holding Plank at her side. The whole dinner between her and her mother was relatively quiet, say for the constant whispers Scootaloo would trade with her friend in there one sided conversations.

“May we be excused?” Scootaloo asked.

Her mom was jarred from her thoughts, “Did you fin,..” She started then noticed Scootaloo empty plate.

“Yes, is about time for bed so why don’t you and your friend go brush your teeth?”

“Sure thing mom!,...Wow you little piggy you ate two plates and finished mine!” Scootaloo said as she left the dining room.

Scootaloo’s mom raised an eyebrow, then looked down at her daughters seat and noticed two extra plates, she looked into the pot at the center of the table and noticed it was empty.

Scootaloo’s mom sat there dumbfounded, try to calculate how much stove top a little filly could eat, and what her father was going to eat when he got home.

“She must me having a growth spurt,” She muttered uneasily.

Scootaloo awoke to the beeping of her alarm clock, she switched it off and rolled over to Her wooden friend. She took him and her hooves and cuddled him while she dosed.

(I think theres a boner joke here but i think i’ll let it slide.)

“Scoots! Hurry up and get ready for school!!” her mom shouted from the den.

“Oh yeah school!” Scootaloo sat up and lifted Plank up.

“Wait until you meet Diamond Tiara.”

Scootaloo trotted happily towards the schoolhouse along with the mass of other fillies and colts.

She was just a few feet from the door when she hear a shrill and obnoxious voice scream.

“HEY BLANK FLANK! I thought I told you to never come back!”

Scootaloo turned to the bullies with a wide grin across her face.

“What are you so happy about? what's that?” Diamond said jabbing a hoof at plank, “That you’re new coltfriend? try not to get splinters when you give him kisses!” Dimiond puckered her lips and faked some kisses then began laughing with Silver Spoon laughing along with her.

“Alright help me out here buddy,..............okay got it,” Scootaloo whispered with Plank.

“Why don’t you go suck a big bag of dicks?” Scootaloo said happily.

Diamond half laughed/gasped at the comment, she got a hold of herself and sputted “What?”

“You heard me, is the reason you coat is so prickly is because your too rich to take a shower or because you never wash all the jizz out?”

“I-i don’t suck dick,” Diamond said defensively.

Scootaloo lifted a ear to Plank, “Oh i see you a muff munch-er, okay well why don’t you go kiss cunts with your mare friend there and leave me alone?”

“HEY!” Silver spoon interjected, then took Diamond in her hooves, both had quivering lips. Scootaloo lifted a ear to Plank and he went in for the kill.

“And you still haven't explained your cutie marks to us, Diamond i’m glad you’re so proud at being talented at sitting on people's heads, guess that will come into play when you're selling your body on the street.”

“Thats enough!” Silver cried.

Dimond broke into sobbing and was unable to retort for once in her life.

“And dear Silver, you're a bully because you're scared at the fact that no one can get ahead in life with a special talent in eating cereal.”

Silver broke down with her friend and both sat huddled together with tears streaming down their faces as Scootaloo towered above them.

“Plank says if he catches any of you messing with me or anyone else,.....he’s gonna catch you!”

The former bullies squealed and nodded their heads, Scootaloo turned to enter the school but was stopped by Miss Cheerilee.

Miss Cheerilee looked down and the bullies, then to Scootaloo.

“Glad to see you finally found a friend,” Cheerilee said, ruffling Scoots mane.

Scoots walked past Cheerilee and into the front door with a spring in her step.

“Thanks buddy! i’m so glad i rescued you from that chipper, one more thing though.”

Plank was all ears (despite owning none)

“Whats a muff? Or a cunt?”

Scootaloo lifted a ear to Plank.

“When i’m older? Awwwwww,....I hate it when ponies say that.”

Author's Note

i fic where scoots life doesn't suck and both of her parents are alive,...deal with it,

now hes some more nostalgia.