Ground Control to Major Tom
Can you hear me Major Tom?
Five minutes. It had been five long minutes since Tom, Equestria's first astronaut, had sent a message. The ponies working in ground control were starting to get worried. Their very first mission, ending with a lost astronaut? This could spell major trouble for further missions. They couldn't allow that to happen. The pony who was in charge had been trying to get in contact with him for the past four minutes, with no luck.
The pony who was in charge was actually called Ground Control. His parents weren't exactly the most imaginative of ponies. They had named him that in hopes of him being a farmer when he got his cutie mark. Destiny, of course, had other plans, and made it a space shuttle. With a name like Ground Control, he realized exactly what he would be doing in life.
"Can you hear me Major Tom?" he asked into the console, which transmitted directly into the space shuttle, "Can you hear me Major Tom?" he repeated, "Now that you've done it, Equestria Daily wants to know what you're wearing, and you're the only one who can answer." he said, hoping the idea of a newspaper interview would entice Tom into answering.
A stony silence filled the air, while the message was being transmitted. All the ponies in ground control awaited Tom's response with baited breath. A minute passed. Then two. Then three. Finally, just as everypony had given up on getting an answer, like a chisel breaking through granite, Tom's reply was heard.
"I can hear you, Ground Control." Tom replied, with a gravelly sound to his voice, "I'm just floating here, inside a tin can. Did you know Equestria is blue? I didn't. And there's nothing I can do.." he added, sounding depressed.
Back over at ground control, all the ponies were extremely joyous at the fact that Tom had responded. All, that is, except Ground Control. He had more important things to worry about. "Now, Tom, are you alright?"
Another stony silence filled the air, as Tom thought of a proper reply. "I'm fine," his gravelly voice replied after a few more moments passed, "'I'm just floating up here. I don't know if I want to come back down."
"You fool!" Ground Control yelled into the console, "Bloomberg is waiting for you to return! So is Rarity! You must return!" He was starting to get angry over Tom's indecisiveness. At times, he swore Tom was as thick as a rock. Tom had always got on his nerves. This time was no exception, but just because he didn't like Tom didn't mean that he didn't want him to come home any less.
"Yeah, I know. I... just don't want to come down. Well, I have one more minute to decide, don't I?" Tom asked, feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place. He didn't want to come down. All he wanted to do was just stay up there, and admire the view. But he knew for a fact that quite a few ponies were expecting, and hoping, for his return.
"Yes, you have one minute, And counting," Ground Control replied.
His bad day was about to get even worse. The telephone (a rather new invention to Equestria) next to him rang. And when he picked it up, he heard the one voice he really didn't want to hear, that of his boss, Luna, "Have thou contacted Tom yet?" she asked. Ground Control realized that the fact she wasn't using The Royal Canterlot voice indicated that she wasn't angry. Yet. This was subject to change, considering what Ground Control was about to tell her.
"Yes, I have," Ground Control replied, feeling the nervous tension in his voice rising.
"And...?" Luna asked, wondering why Ground Control was sounding so nervous. Was it her tone? She wasn't using The Royal Cantelot voice.
"Well... he doesn't want to come back."
"He... doesn't want to come back? He can't be serious," Luna replied, shocked. She knew outer space was beautiful, she should know, she spent a thousand years in the moon. But she never expected anypony would want to stay up there.
"I'm afraid he is perfectly serious. Would you like to talk to him?" Ground Control asked, secretly hoping that Luna would talk some sense into Tom.
"No. We are sure that he has his reasons," Luna answered, hanging up. She figured Tom would come down soon enough. Plus, there was always the other option.
"Oh great. What do I do know?" muttered Ground Control, realizing how hopeless his situation was. He only had one other option. Contact Tom again. He knew how unlikely it was that Tom would change his mind, but there was nothing else he could do. "Come in Major Tom. Are you still there Major Tom?" he asked, even though he knew he was.
"Yes, I'm here," came Tom's reply, shattering the stony silence that had started to build, "Why did you call me again? I've yet to make up my mind."
"You've yet to make up your mind?! You know you only have ten seconds, right?" Ground Control angrily asked. He was more convinced than ever that Tom was as thick as a rock.
"I know, I know!" Tom replied, getting frustrated. He liked Ground Control, sure, but he didn't like being pushed. "I... suppose I only have one choice here, don't I?" he asked, knowing he would confuse Ground Control.
"I... suppose so. I don't really know what you mean," Ground Control replied, as confused as Tom had expected.
"Yes, that is rather the point. Well, looks like I've made up my mind," Tom said, "I'm coming back."
"That's great!" was the general shout from inside ground control, as the ponies started celebrating. They would have thrown a party right then and there, but Pinkie was probably going to throw them one herself, so they decided against it.
The general cry, except for one. Again. "But... why?" asked the familiar voice of Ground Control, "What made you change your mind?"
"Oh it's simple, really. If I had stayed, I'd never get any more chances to annoy you. I just couldn't bear the thought of you alone, without anyone annoying you. That's why I'm returning," replied Tom, sounding smug. Or at least, as smug as he could sound with his voice as gravelly as it was.
"You're joking, right?" Ground Control asked, not wiling believe what his ears were telling him.
"I'm as serious as a rock." replied Tom.
A silence, once more, permeated the room. It was so thick that even Tom could feel it. It was soon broken by a single noise. That of the snout of Ground Control hitting the console. This broke everypony else out of their silence, and they all laughed a little. So did Ground Control, after he composed himself. Tom also joined in the laughter, as he was back in the shuttle, and headed towards Equestria, ready to annoy Ground Control even more.
And so; Tom returned safely, to annoy Ground Control, Luna didn't have to take any drastic measures, and Equestria Daily got its interview.
Author's Note
I really don't know what this is, nor why I wrote it.