Entry 1: Memories of the past
It has been five days since the rainbow of light struck me cleansing my thoughts of the hatred I felt. Five days after over a thousand years of imprisonment, violence, manipulation and terror, all under the guise of Nocturnal Horror.
I am getting ahead of myself. My name is Prince Artemis of Equestria, my brother Apollo once suggested I keep a journal of what I have done in my life what I have seen. I am not sure why he considered it a good idea, I am not even sure if he has done it himself. If so there is likely an entire library devoted to just his daily musings. I am sure a good bit of it is not safe for foals, likely not safe for adult ponies in some cases as well.
I started something like this a long while back, before everything transpired. I started one before, but I am quite sure that volume was lost when I destroyed most of the castle. Again I get ahead of myself. I shall start from the beginning of what I recall. At the very least this should stave off the boredom until I find something suitable for me to do in this world. I cannot spend the rest of my time sulking in a room in some pony else's home. Maybe this will help. It did in the past, at least a little bit.
My first memories do not involve my parents. I have never met them that I am aware of. I am certain Apollo has but when I ask he simply grows morose, and that is not a normal state for him. The only other pony around who may have met them Was our teacher, and she had much the same reaction when asked. After a time I stopped asking. It really did not matter to me that that point any way. I was young enough to not even have a cutie mark, and everything was new enough that I had yet to grow bored of the wonder of things.
I recall when my brother gained his cutie mark. I spent many years trying to gain mine and doing nothing but driving both my brother and teacher insane trying to figure out what it was. My brothers had given him a rather great duty to raise the sun in the mornings. A Task that the unicorns had been doing for generations and often times barely managed he did with little effort. It was suggested perhaps that I was to control the moon.
When I tried my hoof at moving the moon, it came to me easy, almost as if it was waiting for me. I was enamored at the silvery light that shown down from the white surface, before this I had never been allowed to stay up late enough to see very much of the night. That first night I reveled in it watching the moon move through the sky and the countless twinkling of the stars.
After a time our teacher left us. She said she needed to go for a while, but she would be back. Apollo said she did this from time to time, but she would return as she had before. I did not doubt my older brother, but I was not terribly upset when she left. It was rather clear to me even that young that her attention was more focused on my brother than me. He had control of the day and the reverence of the ponies who existed. All I had was the night and I was content with that. I spent my time studying, learning various theories from the unicorns and implications and paths of magic and spells. I rewrote books fixing theories I tested and found lacking. Rather than be impressed this upset quite a few ponies. Many of who had their own theories destroyed by my timeless study. Eventually none of them would teach me anything for fear I would correct them on it. I did not have the power my brother had but even that young I had remarkable skill.
Our teacher returned after perhaps a thousand years of time and once again attempted to instruct us. She focused more on Apollo leaving me to my own devices. I was fine with that. I spent my day times asleep and my nights adjusting stars into pictures in the sky. Occasionally I sent them streaking across the sky for no reason other than to watch the colorful lights they produced. I made comets and constellations and shooting stars for any to enjoy if they would just step outside at night and look up.
No pony did, the darkness and night was something to be hated and feared for what might lurk in the long shadows. It was a beautiful sight a cosmic play that my brother could not hope to match I found it more fascinating than any sunrise or sunset he ever made. Though I was the only one.
Time passed, many of the ponies who had taught us vanished to be replaced by younger ponies, My brother and I barely changed , we grew yes, but generations passed us as we barely aged. Our teacher returned and vanished again many times over the course of our lives as always she seemed more focused on Apollo and shaping him into a proper ruler, but he was more focused on another pursuit. It seemed he was of an age that a mare had caught his eye.
It was close to sixty years that I spent completely alone. My brother no longer had any time for me he only wished to play with his mare in his free time and he was forced to oversee the ruling of the court all other times. I tried speaking with the advisers but even with my knowledge I was mostly ignored as the attention of Equestria was on my brother. Our teacher had departed again and being bored I calculated the time to her return. It would be nearly a hundred years before she would return.
Even the castle servants while polite did their best to avoid me as much as they could. I embraced the darkness they had always been taught to fear.
One day my brother vanished. He did not raise the sun and the ponies panicked. I had watched my brother do it so often I took it upon myself to raise the sun that day. I could barely stand after raising it and was unable to raise the moon that night . No pony but me seemed to mind what happened with the night so long as the day came. So I continued trying to please those who considered the pair of us their rulers. It became easier with time, my brother was gone for several months. Even taking over his task it took the nobles and others several days to bother to inform me of what was going on. His mare friend had died of old age in her sleep at my brothers side. He had attended her funeral and then vanished.
By the time he returned I had managed to gain the ability to move both the sun and moon putting the world back in the state of normalcy it one had. Though more than a few suggested I simply not bother with the night. I worried for my brother as he was sullen and bitter for many years. He grieved for a long time, but maintained his duties after his return.
It was the first war with the griffons that snapped him out of it. He channeled his depression in to finding a way to stop the war with little blood shed. I took a interest in the other aspects. Finding a table of troop movements set up by the generals of the three pony types I studied it and moved a few placements to where they would be in a better position. It was not unlike a game of chess in that way. I was caught messing with it by one of the Pegasus Generals but spared any yelling or punishment by a earth pony general who noticed how things were moved. General Mustang noticed how I moved the troops and approved asking me to come out every time they received a report and give my opinion of the troop movements. It was just a game to me. Little pieces on a map to move around. Winning was the goal, but as with chess sacrificing pieces to win over all was an acceptable strategy. It was when the assassin came and killed General Mustang before me that I realized what those pieces actually meant. My plans changed after that my goal was to prevent lives being lost not just victory. A part of me did not care however, it was still focused on winning no matter the cost and often times this surfaced again. However when the war was finally won and Apollo signed the peace treaty with the ruler of the griffon lands I once again was forced into obscurity.
After the assassination a branch of the military was created to Guard the castle at all hours. The ones on night duty were often sullen or troublemakers as it was a duty none wanted. I was growing bored with life again so I took my opportunities to try and speak with them, chat them up or at the very least get them to loosen up a bit so they might actually converse with me or enjoy the night. For a long time I was ignored though in time I had a few of them on speaking terms with me. I listened to the war stories and what was going on in their lives offering what I could to help or joke about with them. With some persuasion I managed to have a few of them try to teach me some of what they had learned in their training. I was no where near a colt any more but I had yet to reach the full size my brother currently enjoyed.
I was never sure what my brother was doing during these times. As I only saw him at breakfast and dinner. He was much more serious than I remembered and he had a tendency to not show up some days. I followed him once and he led me to a simple gravestone in the woods. One with his mare friend's name on it. I felt a bit ashamed to know his secret, but I never understood why he kept it such. I did not understand how he was so affected there were many ponies we had seen come and go as they passed.
Many of the Guard I had made friends with aged and retired and new ponies often cycled in forcing me to introduce myself to them quite often. It was after a few years of these cycles that I finally met her.
It is said that every pony remembers their first love. I cannot claim this is true with absolute certainly but for me it is still the case.
Her name was Starfall Silvertail. A pegasus from the newly founded Cloudsdale. She had barely made sergeant in her basic training. She was exactly four hooves shorter than I was. Her mane and tail were both cut short but trimmed into a style that worked well for her. Her hair was a two tone mix of a rich purple and a almost silvery gray. Her coat was a soft gray stretched over a tone form. Her eyes were a deep sea green that I found myself getting lost in quite often.
Well after we started to talk any way. It took me weeks to build up the courage after I first saw her to speak with her, and the first thing I asked about was her cutie mark of all things. I may have asked about the weather. Her mark was a silver shield with a black knight chess figure in the center. I asked if she played chess. She did. I asked if she could teach me as I knew nothing about it.
This was perhaps one of my first lies and her reaction at finding out I did indeed know how to play chess and very well in fact was enough for me to make it one of my last as well.
With my brothers growing reputation I was worried that she was thinking I was the same and only using this as an excuse to bed her. However she seemed more pissed off that I was not playing the game seriously . She demanded I stop trying to lose to her and play properly She kept fussing about it as she set up the board again. Rather than anger her further I played as I was supposed to though I was a bit worried when I placed her in check mate. She nodded and set up another game seeming to accept that.
Suffice to say we played until I was needed to lower the moon, and many nights after ward we did the same. It eventually became much more serious than simply playing games to pass the time. Because she was a night shift Guard she was one of the few who was awake to witness how beautiful the night truly could be. I showed her every aspect of it I could think of , the shooting stars,the comets the constellations, the moons phases everything I had done while younger that I had given up on because no pony was ever awake to see it, and I brought it all back lighting up the night in as many displays as I could think of. And she showed me why my brother had no problems with the reputation he had gained.
Time passed and I was eager to spend every moment with her I could. Something she seemed to be quite happy to do as well. Apollo met her on a few occasions though he seemed more saddened than happy about our pairing.
I am unable to describe in words the feeling of being alone for thousands of years and then meeting some pony who you can connect with so easily. This was love what I had read was one of the great motivators of the universe. It was at this point in my life I did not believe there was anything I could not do. I did not care that all other ponies hid from the night, I only cared that one pony enjoyed it as much as I did. But like all great things it was not destined to last.
I watched her age and it did not even register to me until far to late. Despite our liaisons no child was sired from our union something she regretted. When she became to old to fly, I carried her. When that became to much for her, I still stayed at her side, never aging, never changing, able to do nothing but watch her life slip away with each day.
We played chess one last time and I was too full of dread of what was to come to concentrate, she won that game, taking the black king and smiled as she clutched it to her chest watching me as she breathed her last.
When she was buried I had the entire chess set entombed with her. I did not think I would ever be able to play the game again. Once the funeral was over I left. I flew until I could not fly, then I ran until I could not any more before I collapsed, weeping openly. It may have only been years or it could have been hundreds I do not recall, but eventually Apollo arrived to find me.
When arrived I was in a open plain when Apollo came for me I was on a small island in the center of a dead lake of salt water. Apollo did not offer to comfort me though by his expression it was clear he had gone through this as well.
I understood why my brothers actions in regard to the ones he bedded. He never kept with any long enough to become attached but he still yearned for some sort of companionship. When his attentions were divided among many he could remove some of his feelings for them enough to still function.
I was not able to do that, I threw myself back into my studies seeking to fill every second of my time awake with something. I did not want to give my mind any time to wander. I learned more tactics, new schools of spells and I developed a new hobby. I took up investigating tombs and crypts and ruins of the world that predated my brother and I. I had hoped in one of them I might find an answer to why we out lived everything.
In the ruins of old Pony Ville I found a crypt. A massive set of catacombs that held the remains of Commander Hurricane , Princess Platinum, and Chancellor Puddinghead. Others were entombed here as well. Traveling deeper into the seemingly limitless caverns in search of answers I nearly screamed in rage and frustration upon finding a library in the tombs depths that had been completely ruined by a underground river flowing through it. Likely the water had changed course over time and driven through the library. It was at that point that the Lich found me. I was surprised at a being of this power had gone unnoticed and there were times in the fight I believed I would not be victorious but I won out and destroyed the creature. The reward for such was his notes. There were spells and abilities here that I had never even considered before. Meditative abilities and skills and spells that had long ago been sealed from every pony.
I took to this delving deeper into my studies practicing some of the darker spells on the small lives , mice bugs and the like. My initial intent was the desire to bring back Starfall though I soon found that would not work. I could bring her body back and make her look and act just as she did in life but it would be little more than a puppet based on my own memories.
My brother became creative, hosting balls and parties trying as many different things as he could to keep himself from being bored. I read and experimented with all the theories and magic and books I could find. Once more trying not to dwell on what I lost. I learned to alter and manipulate shadows, combining the necromancy to give them a semblance of life.
I chose spiders as a primary thing to create as I felt some connection to them. Here they built wondrous webs that held intricate beauty that no pony noticed save to do their best to crush them and destroy their homes and traps. Even though spiders killed insects that were harmful to ponies they were still either treated with fear and loathing or ignored completely much like my night and myself.
Our teacher returned mostly it seemed to fuss at my brother for his choices. She spoke to me rarely though I was quite used to that. My brother had gotten far to absorbed in his own activities to speak with me very often either. Besides the two of us had all the time in the world it might be of some interest if we built up our own individual tales. When we grew bored we could share them and likely keep each other entertained.
I soon found that I could not help let my mind wander any more and my work was interrupted quite often. It had been easily close to a thousand years since her death and with how I felt it could have been yesterday that she passed. I took up some of the meditation I had found in the lich's notes. I thought of a white field with a small black square in the center. I made the square a box filling it with my pain and my sorrow, sealing the lid on the unwanted emotions. It took many tries to do it properly, but once I had it down anytime something distracted me be it a memories or a flash of pain I sealed it away.
Much of that changed with the appearance of Eris. I am unsure of when or where she came from I do know her arrival threw everything into chaos. My brother seemed thrilled with the sudden excitement, our teacher was annoyed and I simply wished to return to some semblance of normalcy.
The chaos spirit seemed to relish this and spent a good bit of time pestering me. She seemed quite interested in breaking the structure of my life which I had built trying to force her chaotic nature into my own. I was angry at the constant interruption , but I sealed that away choosing to ignore her or simply be polite if curt with her. He did panic once when she toyed with him trying to be affectionate had not been touched by any one since Starfall and the sudden flush from the contact brought up memories and fears and anguish that changed to fear. Once again I found myself fleeing though it was more from the Draconius than anything else. When I had calmed I shoved all the emotions and feelings into the box including a lingering sense of enjoying that scant contact.
Eris took my ignoring of her antics as a personal challenge.She continued to creature greater and some what zanier pranks and effects until she went too far. The Canterlot Royal Guarden had always seemed a place of quiet tranquility, but it was also a prison. Countless eniemes of Equestria and irrideemable criminals had been sealed there over the millennium. Eris freed them all at once. Eight thousand seventy three creatures and criminals were sealed there. If not for the fact that many started fighting each other almost as soon as they were freed we likely never would have stopped them. There are limits to even to our power. Far too many escaped and continued to cause destruction for years after. Eris needed to be dealt with to prevent it again
Our teacher revealed the locations of the Elements of Harmony and my brother and I moved to seal Eris. She greeted us thrilled her latest antics had finally got her the attention she wanted. She did not even resist when we used the Elements to seal her. She likely did not even realize what she had done or what we were doing until it was too late.
I had read of the elements before, They had been around as long as my brother and I had been, but very little was known about them. I was given generosity, honesty, and loyalty to wield. My brother was given magic,compassion and laughter.
Once she was sealed I left the elements in my brothers care and went back to my self imposed solitude . Our teacher vanished again and for the first time I felt nothing at her departure. Anytime any emotion or thought or memory entered my head that could interfere with my work and duties I shoved it down sealing it in the box, ignoring the fact that the field of white seemed smaller with each new pain I placed inside it sealing it all away.
In time war came again. This time from the dragons. My brother preferred peaceful resolutions that often times were not followed very well by the aggressors. I realized that it was because there was no nation out there that feared us. The Diamond dogs, the Griffons and the dragons viewed us as food not as a nation or a force worth anything but contempt.
Eventually talking was no longer an option to the dragons. My brother an I don'd armor and lead our troops directly this time. Much like before I used the troops as pieces on the board. Ponies lives were weighed and used like pawns on a board to be sacrificed for a greater victory and any time I gained even the slightest twinge of regret for my actions I sealed it away.
It was after a hard battle I was involved in I was tired, and countless dragons had fallen before my army though we had nearly been wiped out as well. Looking back over the field all I saw were dead. Dragons and ponies scattered about as far as my eyes could see. Fear flooded within me every face was hers, every pegasus body broken and crushed , or burned on the ground took on her semblance. I crushed it all down fighting to contain it. It was then that my sealed box of emotions ruptured ,and Nocturne appeared.
My brother had an experience similar to this where his personalities began to fragment into their own identities. He managed to keep them contained with the aid of our teacher, I had no such aid and found myself staring at a black alicorn with red eyes that had formed right before me out of my own shadow.
He introduced himself as Nocturne, I did not respond, the flood of memories and emotions I had sealed left me incapable of anything. He informed me that I no longer needed to fear what others thought or about things that might hurt me. All I needed to do was hide and nothing would hurt me again. He formed into shadow colliding with me and the memories and fears I had repressed surged again. I forced myself to make another box but rather than trying to contain these emotions I sealed myself in it leaving Nocturne control as I removed myself from the world to wallow in my returned misery.
I was still a witness to what was being done , but I felt nothing no emotional attachment or any lingering worry as he brought all the fallen back to life, created shadow monstrosities and fell like a wave across the lands of Equestria's foes. The dragon lands were utterly destroyed and the survivors put to flight never allowed to settle for fear of being wiped out. A great migration that never ended.
Some ponies stood against him when he beat them down he demanded a tribute once a year from them and if they showed their faces the entire day he would devour their souls. That was the price for their survival.
He took up a mantle of nightmare calling himself Nocturnal Horror and he brought darkness to the land the likes of which had never been seen. He gave ponies a reason to fear the night, the shadows as any one of them could turn out to be a monster.
During it all I stayed in my box, safe, away from the emotions and fears that existed outside, comfortably numb.
The rampage continued until all the nations but Equestria were all but destroyed. All of them living in fear of ponies as Nocturne claimed they should be. There was only one more goal, one more task before his dream of the perfect night of his rule could be realized. Equestria needed to be brought under his hoof, Canterlot needed to fall.
I did not watch the battle, but images of it were forced into my vision fed to me to keep me contained. The castle was nearly destroyed countless slain or injured before Apollo even appeared and tried to reason with him. Nocturne did not feel the connections the way I did he had nothing but contempt for my brother, how everything seemed to come so easily, how he was loved simply for existing while I was feared and hated for the same. My brother was not prepared for the ferocity with which Nocturne attacked. He did not care for the ponies around him and used them as bait or a distraction to divert Apollo's attention long enough for another blow against him.
Nocturne would have won. He almost did, but Apollo had been holding back something And when it seemed all was lost he used them. The Elements of Harmony. I am unsure what they were supposed to do but I do know when Nocturne was hit with the power the box I was in shattered and the power tried to pull me free again. I did not want to go, I was content being nothing hiding from everything. Nocturne resisted and so did I and such I was not cured and Apollo guided the power to imprison us instead.
We were placed on our anchor. The moon trapped within it. Nocturne raged having no focus for that anger for a thousand years he focused it all on the only other soul trapped there. Me. Night mares pain horrors memories of the past. I watched ponies die countless times. I buried Starfall just as often.
Every so often however even he succumbed to those memories and both of us suffered from it. He might have been my darkness, but he was still me and in his own way doing what he saw as needing to be done to protect every pony as well as himself and me.
After a thousand years we were freed and the first thing that was done was Nocturne sealed My brother that was done before we even left the lunar surface. When we arrived in Equestria it was where Apollo had gone for his summer sun celebration. Ponyville. He was not at full power yet treated the entire event as a theatrical performance. When his student Duskshine and his friends arrived to retrieve the elements of harmony Nocturne destroyed them in front of him. Duskshine seemed to have an idea when his friends showed up but the moment the broken elements started to move again, so did he. He was on the six in a moment while Duskshine was monologueing. He thrashed them all in moments. These ponies were not warriors. They were little more than Bakers, and farmers, one was a tailor, they knew nothing of combat and war. They fell easily. DuskShine persisted however managing back to his hooves as Nocturne gloated to the sealed Apollo. DuskShine cast a spell that caught Nocturne off guard sending him to another world. The world we found ourselves on was very similar to our own save for a massive gender discrepancy . Though it seemed a few from our world had some how found their way here.
After raging Nocturne set out to do what he had failed to do In our world. And as always I hid away from all that hurt and let him deal with it.
