My Little Disney 2: Music is Slightly More Magicby Brony_of_BrodyChapters202. Think A Little Steeper203. Fixing Up Her 206. You Suck207. You Might Shrink208. I'm Looking Out For Spoons209. A Very Important Girl To Use211. Night-time's A Migraine213. Pong216. One Last Nope220. Don't Run Repeats221. A Jar Is Born224. The Ugly Bug Brawl226. Passed Away230. Crazy Countryside231. What Is A Bakery?232. Sweet Promotion235. Quesadilla Song238. Who Has Laid These Books For Me?240. My Favorite Drink241. Everything is Sappy243. Animal-sity244. Party Even More (Guest Submission by Godslittleprincess)223. Warp Away201. Trixie And The Thief204. The Initial Equestria Girls Reaction In A Nutshell205. Conformist210. Stand Still212. The Strife I Freed214. Blow Up My Top215. Duckface217. Things Are Not Where They Appear218. Derpy (Guest Submission by Rubbaduckwolf)219. What Is That Bat?222. The Boring Report225. Never Knew My Costume227. I Sew Things Now228. Respect Isn't Easy229. 100 Shows233. Gotta Floss My Donkey234. Tragic Postal Guy236. Two Stares237. Apathy239. Looking for Boulder242. It Feels Like Chaos245. Sign These202. Think A Little Steeper(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess And The Frog's "Dig A Little Deeper") Sung by Pinkie Pie Princess's books don't go cheap, you know. At least, that's the point Pinkie was trying to make in an attempt to trade off Twilight's old books at Rainbow Falls. Unfortunately, all that accomplished was everypony being scared away and Twilight taking the books back after learning how valuable they were. Don't matter what you offer Don't matter 'bout your wares The fact it's the latest edition I don't care (No I don't care) Don't matter if they're grubby The point is they're just rare! They're owned by THE Twilight Sparkle So let's strike a deal (Let us go strike a deal) And you all know that they're worth some Thousand bits for every book! You might even get double If you know just where to look You got to think a little steeper Y'know it's only fair You got to think a little steeper They're not found anywhere! When you realize it's a steal You'll find out what you need Fortunes on eBray guaranteed You got to dig (dig) You got to dig (dig) Princess Twilight's the bestest pony You wanna get souvenirs Reading gonna make you happy now Should you give this moment a pass? No! I just ask for something nice I just ask for something dear All you need is some items that Match the prices I got here You got to think a little steeper Thousand bits of stuff You got to think a little steeper Freshly mint, no trace of fluff! I take cards, checks and bits Or just antique valuables that fits Think a little steeper and they're yours Official princess merchandise? Come step right up and feast your eyes Twilight got these from Celestia Who got them from Star-Swirl Who got them from The Ancients Who won them in a game of Bowls You got to think a little steeper For you it's gonna be tough You got to think a little steeper Your offer's nowhere near enough When you realize it's a steal You'll find out what you need Fortunes on eBray guaranteed Form an orderly queue Start the bidding 'bout now (Fortunes on eBray) (Fortunes on eBray) Fortunes on eBray guaranteed (Ahhh...) Author's Note Based on the episode "Trade Ya!" 203. Fixing Up Her 203. Fixing Up Her (Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "Fixer Upper") Sung by Rainbow Dash Rainbow Dash has a blackbelt in karate. As she massaged the hoof that got injured off the sandbag, Applebloom was left wondering how a pony learns karate, let alone masters it. And so Rainbow Dash moved onto the next idea for a cutie mark...one of several for the day. Is it the softness in her legs? Or the hooves as broke as eggs? Or the brittle, little muscles that ain't there? And though she just ain't built for punches It was just based on some hunches... Well, there's always judo, wrestling, maybe kickboxing to spare! So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, So she’s feeble and weak. But with protein and training, She could well be making A career in martial arts next week! So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, But I'm sure as sure can be I can fix this fixer-upper Up on an activity spree! Is it the way that she just crashed? Or that her attitude's too brash? We've tried juggling and jousting, even mime Cos I'm sure that I'm being thorough Gotta get this done tomorrow Even so, we still have kites, and hang-gliding and crime! She’s just a bit of a fixer-upper, Cos SOMETHING is bound to click This desolation is confirmation There MUST be elation some time, I think So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, But I know what to do The way to fix up this fixer-upper List some more stuff up for you! So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, That’s a minor thing. Her mark eludes her, and that includes her The scheme to skate at the Derby ring! So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, But odds say sometime soon, She will find her skill by force of will and The whole thing's fixed by noon. We’re not sayin' that it's easy, ‘Cause there will be pain involved. And yet the tears and sweat and blood Should get it all resolved. I picked the most choices Of the stuff to do today. And yet nothing seemed to work, And yet nothing seemed to work, I won't give up, no way! I won't give up, I say! Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper, That’s what it’s all about! AJ! Twilight! Pinkie! Starting to think-ie There's not enough we ain't tried out. This kid’s a bit of a fixer-upper, But when push comes to shove. The only fixer-upper fixer That can fix up this fixer-upper is More! More! More, more, more! Stuff (More stuff) Stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff Stuff! (I hope...!) More... Stuff! Author's Note Based on the episode "Call of the Cutie" As requested by Sky Blue CMC. And that's how Rainbow was indirectly responsible for all property damage in Ponyville. Please note: I do not intend to make this a daily exercise like last time. Having almost exhausted the most popular ones right off the bat, I feel that I should take this a bit more slowly. You are however, welcome to suggest more candidates to parody, as usual. Attention makes me happy 206. You Suck(Note: Sung to the tune of Camp Rock's "We Rock") Sung by Rainbow Dash When you've had 35 games of tic-tac-toe and lose all of them, the validity of the results does become a little questionable. Even Rainbow Dash found it surprising that Rarity seriously didn't just cotton on the whole time they spent waiting for Fluttershy to catch up while climbing the mountain. Somehow. Cause you suck You suck You suck, girl You suck You suck, girl Playin' tic-tac-toe Thirty-five in a row Pinkie kicked your flank And you know it You can feel that cross Seal ANOTHER loss Those noughts ain't hot You see Pinkie trolling All you SHOULD need is a game plan And figure out Pinkie's pace Because wow, you're playing wrong Throw your hooves up in the air and scream Should have it down pat at game seventeen! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Nopony in the world's quite as bad as you Even I know how to force a draw or two! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl (You suck, you suck, you suck, girl) (You suck, you suck, you suck, girl) There are other ways To pass the time up here Cos Fluttershy's Been gone awhile Should have said instead "Wanna play I Spy?" Clearly board game ain't Your sense of style All you SHOULD need is a game plan And figure out Pinkie's pace Because wow, you're playing wrong Throw your hooves up in the air and scream You couldn't have failed even in your dreams! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Nopony in the world's quite as bad as you You haven't seen the pattern, is that REALLY true!? 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Got the pieces on the board And it's the thing that bugs me most You couldn't get just one draw down Or stage a turnaround (You suck) 'Cause you suck (This sucks!) You suck, you suck, girl Thirty five defeats non-stop... 'Cause you suck (This sucks!) You suck, you suck, girl You should have quit before you flopped... Throw your hooves up in the air and scream You play as though you're still totally green! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Nopony in the world's quite as bad as you It was a total flank-kicking through and through! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Throw your hooves up in the air and scream And I'm not saying this just to be all mean! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Nopony in the world's quite as bad as you And I know somehow Pinkie totally knew! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl You suck, you suck (You suck!) You suck, girl You suck, you suck This sucks! Author's Note Based on the episode "Dragonshy" Seriously, just look up how to never lose at this game and you'll see that it's the most pointless game in the universe. 207. You Might Shrink(Note: Sung to the tune of Cars 2's "You Might Think") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Twilight was fairly confident the spell to turn her friends into Breezies would be reasonably pain-free. But as a friend, she felt it was probably best to run down the sensations of transformation at least once. Oh well uh, you might shrink like crazy To nought point one foot two, Or maybe you'll (if you're lucky) Grow new eyes and a view But I think that I'm fine The spell should work this time You might shrink too quickly The maths might be askew (You might shrink like crazy) You might shrink like crazy (Hope it works on you) Hope it works on you You might feel some sensation That's ticklish and quite fierce And shorty after that comes Some feeling like you're pierced Don't fret, it's not TOO wild So put on your bravest smile You might shrink too quickly And wind up in a stew (You might shrink like crazy) You might shrink like crazy (Hope it works on you) Hope it works on you But this ain't hard. The spell checks out (The spell checks out) (It should be quick) It should be quick So fast and slick (So fast and slick) It may feel unpleasant, but I've got it down It feels unpleasant Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Oh well uh, you might feel quite delirious Like a cart ran you down But it only lasts For a moment there Won't be back around Oh, I think that you're fine Cos it's Help Those Breezies Time! You might shrink too quickly But that's not likely, phew... (You might shrink like crazy) You might shrink like crazy (Hope it works on you) Hope it works on you, oh Hope it works on you (Hope it works on you) Hope it works on you Author's Note Based on the episode "It Ain't Easy Being Breezies" 208. I'm Looking Out For Spoons(Note: Sung to the tune of The Return of Jafar's "I'm Looking Out For Me") Sung by Pinkie Pie In the end, Twilight took so long deciding the right flavour for the pancakes Pinkie simply went for her patented Every-Berry-Every-Chip surprise. The surprise being Pinkie lost the measuring spoon in the batter by accident. Somepony was about to be greeted with a choking hazard... That's it! I'm sorry! I hate to be dramatic, But there's something in the pancake pile Measuring Spoon Was lost in there, dood So please chew really slowly for a while! I was trying to gauge the chocolate chips And then it just vanished! Look out below, For plastic things this Afternoon, Hope all goes well! I'm lookin' out for spoons! Okay! I admit, That some long and plastic bit, Went in the pancake batter So speak up and just say, If it's not okay, Because this really matters! If you find it hard to swallow something there And if it's plastic-y, Just leave it by the chair! Oh this oversight Makes you swoon! From here on in, I'm lookin' out for spoons! Oh, I don't want nopony else To gulp it down A mixing spoon that brown I'm sure it's not good for your health! Could cough at any time (Not to be rude) 'Cept for Twilight Sparkle Face-planted in the food Oh I hope nopony chokes too soon From here on in, I'm lookin' out for spoons! Author's Note Based on the episode "Castle Sweet Castle" 209. A Very Important Girl To Use(Note: Sung to the tune of Winnie The Pooh's "A Very Important Thing To Do") Sung by Vinyl Scratch The Dazzlings had hypnotized almost all the student body with their music, and all hope seemed lost. Until one girl who had avoided their entrancing song was discovered. DJ Pon-3 basically saved the school from total disaster. And no-one seemed to give her the appreciation that the headphones wearing, almost entirely silent girl deserved. Maybe she missed quite a lot while listening to the wubs, but still. Wub, wub, wub wub Come one come two come all My BASS CAR hears the call, I'm a very important girl to use I just saved Canterlot High? Dazzlings and Speakers, oh my, I'm a very important girl to use Apparently this group had hypnotized the school I had no clue what just went down, so was it totally cool? I'm a mongumentuous, consequencetuous very important girl to use Author's Note Based on My Little Pony: Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks I couldn't have typed it without the rower. (Guess what I've been watching lately) 211. Night-time's A Migraine(Note: Sung to the tune of Cars's "Life Is A Highway") Sung by Applebloom Applebloom wasn't entirely sure how to react when it turned out she was dreaming about her dreaming about her dreaming about her dream cutie mark. Sleeping on a problem sounded counterproductive after that... (Hmmm, yeah!) Life's like a load that is always there When mah cutie mark won't show up nowhere Drove mahself mad worryin' all day So big sis said to go hit the hay So then Ah turned in, then great stars above, And ah found mahself dreaming of Dreaming of dreaming of mah woe "Yo dawg, Ah heard you like..." ...well you know It was gettin' dumb Waking up three times then some There's not much for me to say, yeahea... Night-time's a migraine Ah woke up more tired than before But Ah know, okay Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure Through all these visions an' all these sights It's in mah brain, there's no end in sight From space to space, no relief to reach Princess Luna sure knows how to teach... From twittermites to some bottled stuff Then something else, got DISOWNED, that's rough Knock me down, an' back up again It's in mah head Ah'm circlin' round and round When Ah dream IN a dream It's just weird, this Ah know She'll be there when the light comes in The Nightsky Princess's hidin' Night-time's a migraine Ah woke up more tired than before But Ah know, okay Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure (yes, Ah'm sure) (Ah...help me, help me, help me, help me, yeah!) Night-time's a migraine Ah woke up more tired than before (Hmmmmm, yeah!) But Ah know, okay (you're goin' my way) Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure (yes, Ah'm sure) There was a meeting between CMC (between CMC) They all had nightmares like mine, Wonder what strange stuff they had seen...? Ooooohh, yeah! (Mmmm, yeah Ah, hm, hm, hm, hm) When Ah dream IN a dream It's just weird, this Ah know She'll be there when the light comes in The Nightsky Princess's hidin' Night-time's a migraine Ah woke up more tired than before (all night longer) But Ah know, okay Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure (Ah,...help me, help me, help me, Help me, help me, yeah!) Night-time's a migraine (Night-time's a migraine) Ah woke up more tired than before (Ooooo, yeah) But Ah know, okay (Ah know, okay) Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure (yes, Ah'm sure, yeah) (C'mon! Ah...help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, yeah!) Night-time's a migraine Ah woke up more tired than before (yeah, ah woke up more tired than before, dangit) But Ah know, okay (Ah know, okay) Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure (yes, Ah'm sure) Author's Note As requested by RemixHero Based on the episode "Bloom And Gloom" 213. Pong(Note: Sung to the tune of Cinderella (2015)'s "Strong") Sung by Button Mash Button Mash turned on the new videogame system his mom had in her youth, eager to see what sort of games she played back then. Nothing happened for about 10 seconds. Button then nudged one of the control sticks, which kick-started the game. A few seconds later something on the screen happened, and Button was promptly met with a Game Over screen. "...I don't get it." In a perfect videogame, the playstyle's tight and sweet A hero's in your hooves, a saga will follow But Pongs’s a different game (how do I win again?) Guess I'll figure it all out tomorrow Where's the tutorial screen? And the shoulder pads aren't seen Nudging the stick and I don't get an intro or something No player icon, and there's no storyline or something I believe I don't know how To play Pong I don't get why Mom would see why this thing's meant for me Too much simplicity, and I lost somehow... I'd like an instruction book No time flat was all it took Nudging the stick and I don't get an intro or something No player icon, and there's no storyline or something I believe I don't know how To play Pong 3 seconds in, I'm dead? Play Dark Foals 2 instead Yeah.. Nudging the stick and I don't get an intro or something No player icon, and there's no storyline or something I believe I don't know how To play Pong Author's Note Based on JanAnimation's "Button Adventures". 216. One Last Nope(Note: Sung to the tune of Hercules's "One Last Hope") Sung by Applejack and Big Macintosh Applejack demanded an explanation from Big Macintosh as to why Fluttershy was being made to sing in a surprisingly lower tenor than usual behind the scenes. But that would have involved a lot of effort to speak on Macintosh's part, so Applejack decided to just try and piece it together. So, ya wanted to do turkey calls? Well, whoop-dee-doo! Cause your barnyard noises almost cost the Pony Tones quartet crew! And ya had to fix your singing chorus So ya went down to Zecora's To go get a potion Some sorta soothin' lotion, something to chug down or just to sup, Does that just about sum it up? ... ... Eeyup! And Zecora said it wouldn't heal by that night? Ah'm sure that musta gave ya an awful fright? Your voice was a goner And Pony Tones's honour Was fast walkin' yonder? ...Eeyup, that's it exactly. Then what happened next, it didn't come quick enough? And so you needed to think of more drastic stuff? Some Poison Joke flowers That lasted for hours For Flutterguy's powers? ...Eeyup, sounds 'bout right. Ain't sayin' one last "Nope" and Ah say it's true, We pulled in Fluttershy to fill up the crew We were short a singer She were scared to sing too, We said one last "Nope" and we put her through Pulled a shill on Ponyville? But ya reckon yer better now? Here Ah am about ta sum up all that to the letter now! It started with turkey calls, then Zecora's hut She then offered to make a potion fer you but You then made Flutterguy To get set by tonight And now ya feel alright? ...Corn's sake. Now that's more like it! She was yer one last shot and yer last showboat? Despite her stage fright, she done sing all the notes? Ah just can't imagine... She'd fall down and cry! Gotta go get back! Welp, sorry there, big bro Mac Ah'll say one last "Nope" and go save Fluttershy! Author's Note Based on the episode "Filli Vanilli" 220. Don't Run Repeats(Note: Sung to the tune of Let It Shine's "Don't Run Away") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... A Saturday without ponies when there ought to be ponies is no Saturday at all. This is especially bad for a writer bound by the laws of release dates such as I. Yeah, yeah, yeah The schedule's crazy, I'm foaming at the mouth, Like I've a case of rabies. You know what isn't out? No episode this morning, Pushed to next Saturday, It gets me in the heart! Why must it be this way!? This is more than a joke, More than a crime, crime More than a sin, Baby I can't wait next time And I ain't giving up This is more than a joke, More than a crime, crime More than a sin, Baby I can't wait next time And I ain't giving up Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Shawty you got tricks I can't get my pony fix I know you know The whole world is watching this, so Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Uh, they say next week will be When it's on television It's like my favourite movie I'm sitting and wishin' At ten thirty this morning I'd be makin' it my mission To watch the show, blog about it later Eyes on the first edition This is more than a joke, More than a crime, crime More than a sin, Baby I can't wait next time And I ain't giving up This is more than a joke, More than a crime, crime More than a sin, Baby I can't wait next time And I ain't giving up Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Shawty you got tricks I can't get my pony fix I know you know The whole world is watching this, so Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Normally I couldn't face the day Without my promised dose of po-nay What's the deal? Why delay? Why did it not broadcast today!? There's more than meets the eye Girl you curl right up and cry, Curse this insidious plot Letting broadcasters call the shots! Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Shawty you got tricks I can't get my pony fix I know you know The whole world is watching this, so Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime 221. A Jar Is Born(Note: Sung to the tune of Hercules's "A Star is Born") Sung by Hughbert Jellius Hughbert Jellius's job of testing the highest quality gellatin may have been a bit more appreciated if everypony else just wasn't so weirded out by him. It could be perhaps his jam love is too broad. It could be the way he smears jam on his bod. But I think that the most likely reason of all Is his "U Jelly?" face which does naught but appall. I'm a huge expert on gelatin A jar is born Gonna find some jam for rolling in A jar is born Honey, smother me in strawb'ry sauce Some find it weird of course Girl, jelly tubs Do toot my horn A jar is born When I test the jelly's quality A jar is born Be it lemon, lime or raspberry A jar is born I shall bathe myself in sticky stuff It's a job, ain't that enough? Oh please don't be Disturbed by me So don't judge me with your scorn Just keep your eyes upon your pies Every night a jar is Right in sight a jar is If made right a jar is born I rub gello in my face and such A jar is born I enjoy my job a bit too much A jar is born I am happiest when rubbing sauce Across my tummy of course The bottom line This flavor's lime! My M.O.D is quite well worn My job's a must To much disgust Telling you a jar is born When I test the jelly's quality A jar is born Be it lemon, lime or raspberry A jar is born As I scrape my butt across the jam Forever alone, I am... Oh please don't be Disturbed by me So don't judge me with your scorn Just keep your eyes upon your pies Every night a jar is Right in sight a jar is If made right a jar is born Author's Note Based (VERY LOOSELY) on the episode "Hearts and Hooves Day" 224. The Ugly Bug Brawl(Note: Sung to the tune of Summer Magic's "The Ugly Bug Ball") Sung by Rarity Rarity didn't appreciate the fact that Pinkie had CLEARLY proclaimed "I'll save you!"...and then ran inside, grabbed a flute on the table, and ran away again. This cemented Pinkie as the worst knight in shining armor ever, until Rarity was brought up to speed. When the Parasprites came I sat and cried They were just eating everything up inside Every dress and every hat Gorging silk until they're fat I thought nopony would come to rescue me, Then who should I spot but hang on! It's Pinkie! Come to save me now, from the ruinous animal ugly bug brawl Come on let's crawl (gotta crawl gotta crawl) From the ugly bug brawl (from the brawl, from the brawl) And go save the town from ruin, warts and all from the ugly bug brawl She said "I'll save you!" and ran towards the swarm, It was playing out dramatic, true to form, And then I thought, WHAT THE HAY!? Why are you running away? Oh she ran past me and stole my only flute! And I watched her run right out the door, the brute! Got left all alone With bugs in my home And I screamed until it hurt Come on let's crawl (gotta crawl gotta crawl) From the ugly bug brawl (from the brawl, from the brawl) And go save the town from ruin, warts and all from the ugly bug brawl Found out later that it was part of the plan She'd bang drums and toot those horns until they scrammed Well, some context WOULD be nice! I'm just giving some advice Next time tell me what is going on 'round here So that I know there is nothing to fear But my poor boutique Lost its charm and chique Thanks to the ugly bug brawl... Come on let's crawl (gotta crawl gotta crawl) From the ugly bug brawl (from the brawl, from the brawl) And go save the town from ruin, warts and all from the ugly bug brawl! Author's Note Based on the episode "Swarm of the Century" The scream sold it for me. 226. Passed Away(Note: Sung to the tune of In Search Of The Castaways's "Castaway") Sung by Pinkie Pie "We found Arimaspi's skeleton at the bottom of Abysmal Abyss...it was sort of creepy. Well, I guess a fall, nothing but net, does that to a cyclops. He shuffled off his mortal coil. Did you know? It's a euphemism because I'm not actually meant to say the proper word because this is a show. You know, for kids? Ooh! I wonder how many ways to say "it" there are? He was pining for the fjords, he ceased to be, he kicked the bucket, he popped his clogs...what are clogs? I don't think ponies wear clogs but I bet it would be so neat if we did..." Passed away, passed away Rate it for kids You use euphemisms I can, and I did! Though all your words may not be understood If kids don't twig, To me, that's still all good! Passed away, passed away Can't say the word I cannot repeat what Grown-ups have heard But yeah, his skeleton obviously shows That Arimaspi's snuffed it, sure! Author's Note Based on the episode "The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone" JUNE THE THIRTEENTH!? WHY WOULD THIS EVEN 230. Crazy Countryside(Note: Sung to the tune of Fun And Fancy Free's "Lazy Countryside") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Twilight wondered if this was the side effect of living in a small rural town with nothing much in it, but after meeting a series of colourful characters with Spike, she could only conclude that everypony in Ponyville was either incompletely or genuinely completely insane. I came to Ponyville The crazy countryside, Where some pink nutjob found me I see these yokels fill The crazy countryside, Where Apple ponies hound me And I got soaked all the way down to my skin By some rainbow-maned slacker, where's she been...? And it's just too much for words As somepony brushes my curls I had good grounds to flee The crazy countryside But first, who's doing the music? I got sent out to see The crazy countryside For hours we stopped cruisin' She just yakked off the donkey's hind legs Pinkie's hot sauce made me cry It's just as I feared Yeah it's quiet, but weird...! In the crazy countryside Think the sticks have drove them all loony They're all bored out of their minds... First impression had? ALL stark raving mad! In the crazy countryside! Author's Note Based on the episode "The Mare In The Moon". Aaaaand suddenly my muse has all dried up. No seriously, I leave several reserve songs in a pinch but this time I really have nothing. So if I want to get even halfway there I need your suggestions, stat. Punch in a suggestion in the comments, no matter how obscure it may be 231. What Is A Bakery?(Note: Sung to the tune of Lady And The Tramp's "What Is A Baby?") Sung by Pinkie Pie I've been asked to advertise Sugarcube Corner. Apparently the logic is I am extremely cheap (as in free) owing to my lack of any sort of qualification to sponsor otherworldly businesses. Or any sort of business, frankly. So yeah. Whatever. Here's a song Pinkie asked me to post. Go visit Sugarcube Corner. What is a bakery? A place for pies and cakes Not talking 'bout the proper nouns,* It's the pastries we make! And sometimes alligators Eat your icing for fun... Wait, do YOU not have small reptiles? I thought they ALL had one... What is a bakery, anyway? Oh, what is a bakery Well find out for yourself Prices start at just two bits Off the shelf! Author's Note *("Me and my employers, if anypony asks what!") Yes, thank you, Pinkie. We get it. 232. Sweet Promotion(Note: Sung to the tune of Inside Out's "Sweet Emotion") Sung by Spike I've never ruled a small nation (except for that one time) but I would find having responsibility for a bunch of other subjects is bother some. So did Spike at first. Then he sort of got drunk with power. And then it got easy, if destructive. Sweet promotion Sweet promotion You talk about things and I just don't care And go take your noisy birdsong elsewhere You call Twilight's name but I gotta make clear While Twilight's napping, I'm head honcho 'round here Yeah yeah yeah yeah When some jerkface pony starts a jackhammer up Said, "Don't care if the pipe isn't all up to snuff!" Well I got bad news, Twilight needs her sleep So please shut your pie holes, not a sound or peep Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Sweet promotion Sweet promotion When you pull into town seeking her advice Note for the time being I'm not playing it nice You're telling me things but I must confess I'm the boss for a day because Twilight's at rest Yes she is You stand out the front and keep the noises down! I'll talk to you later, Twilight's totally run down So while Twilight's asleep, I'm princess for the day And I'm sure nothing bad could happen in any way... Author's Note Based on the episode "Princess Spike". Yes, I am aware I'm pulling a Flash Sentry and cheating with a non-original Disney Song, but it fit with the theme. Shut up. 235. Quesadilla Song(Note: Sung to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas's "Oogie Boogie's Song") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie "It's NOT a fear! I just don't trust their excessive amounts of cheese is all! I've gotten over that!" You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my eyes Pinkie Pie spake I get the shakes Around such food! All lies! It's just I'm uneasy Around tortilla wraps That's stuffed with cheese in excess Is that what you mean, perhaps? When these here quesadillas show It brings up memories, I swear I've gotten better though Just don't mention them, please... There's just something about them That gives you cause to bolt About these cheese-based morsels From deepest Mexicolt Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh It's the quesadillas, man Well I'm just feelin' antsy And I swear that's all it is! I'm not scared of their vegetables Or what wrappings, so I says The cheese is what I don't like Oozing from their blanket rolls I just feel like they're JUDGING me They'll steal your very soul! Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Oh, yeah It's the quesadillas, man The file doesn't tell no lies They were total surprises, But I think that this goes beyond More than such massive sizes! You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my ears You gotta jest, to dare suggest I have such absurd fears! It's funny, I'm laughing You really are too much Such traumatizing memories I'm all over that stuff "What are you trying to say?" "Well, as long as you're playing therapist..." Oh, a fillyhood incident (It was labelled as such), Left me once frightened of them I will admit this much. I froze up at the merest sight Of cheesy, wrapped up chow, It took me weeks of therapy But I'm all better now! "I still think you unconsciously still fear them, Twilight!" Oh brother, you're somethin' You put me in a spin Part of me still believes That these cheese-wraps are a sin It's hopeless, they're evil But I've put that to rest Stay away from quesadillas And I won't get so distressed! Author's Note Based on the episode "Party Pooped" As requested by Awesomo3000 238. Who Has Laid These Books For Me?(Note: Sung to the tune of The Search For Santa Paws's "Who Will Sing My Song To Me?") Sung by Moon Dancer It was all Twilight could think of on the spur of the moment to get Moon Dancer to the party. Lure her with a trail of books. It was pretty transparent, which made it all the more amazing when it worked. A Brief History Of Life's Chemistry? The Canter-berry Tales? The Study of Whales? Who has laid these books for me? Who dropped all these books And got dirty looks? Oh well, more reads for me Back at the library! Who has laid these books for me? Who has laid these books for me? Now that Twilight's gone Author's Note Based on the episode "Amending Fences" 240. My Favorite Drink(Note: Sung to the tune of Fun and Fancy Free's "My Favorite Dream") Sung by Rainbow Dash She swears that she's not an alcoholic. You try Sweet Apple Acre's Cider and you'd come back for more too! It's my favorite drink Of Sweet Apple Acres cider My mouth opens wider Filled with favorite drink Yes, it is my favorite drink I don't need an intervention I don't have a problem (I think) But it's once a year that I gather the dimes It's a letdown, and it's a crime Pinkie beats me every time! And she buys up all my most favorite drink Look, to love that cider is nothing wrong I'm NOT addicted, I'm way more strong Hmm hmm hmm mmm mmm mmm... Hmm hmm hmm mmm mmm mmm... Author's Note Based on the episode "The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000" 241. Everything is Sappy(Note: Sung to the tune of Winnie the Pooh's "Everything is Honey") Sung by Rainbow Dash "Aren't we unbearably cute?" Sappy Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy, sappy Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy, sappy, sappy Everything is awful Everywhere I see Everything is sappy It's too sickly sweet for me My awesome dream of changeling fights Was quite alright Why'd everything start off changing to A field of pansies singing a tune This soon Everything is sappy I want out of here I think, I think, I'll end up sick It's nauseating fear Oh, what a sight, oh, what a dream Mixing with softies makes me wanna scream Hanging with the cutesy Save me pretty please Wake me from my dream So that I can meltdown in peace Ooey and gooey and way too sweet It's the end's that got be beat At this rate I'll get diabetes From sickly sweet singing daisies Whoa 'Cause everywhere is sappy My dream went all sour Cos my changeling beating Got swapped for stupid flowers If everything is sappy And morning's still way off If I wake up all snappy Just pass the coffee pot... Author's Note Based on the episode "Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?" There were no magic sheep in this episode. It lied to me. 243. Animal-sity(Note: Sung to the tune of The Happiest Millionaire's "Fortuosity") Sung by Rainbow Dash Weren't rabbits supposed to be herbivores? Rainbow vaguely remembered from somewhere that animals could sometimes be opportunistic carnivores, but she still couldn't help but feel all the woodland critters NEEDED to eat her. Maybe her cutie mark gave her the wrong destiny... Well, now ain't this a horrible happenstance All the animals round a fire In a cooking pot am I With the critters building ire, 'Tis a job as an animal caretaker that I done messed up you see Today I move from zookeeper to breakfast, lunch and tea! Now you may call that luck and you may call it fortune But me, myself, I call it Animal-sity, that's my byword Animal-sity, the anger in their eye word Sometimes their nests fell to the ground And sometimes I knocked over the ant mounds Animal-sity, they're insulted All the critters rose up and they all revolted! They're all glaring with such ferocity The word that best describes them all is animal-sity Animal-sity, that's my trend word Animal-sity, my "I think it's the end" word 'Round the corner under a tree Was where these animals ambushed me... Animal-sity, they're insulted All the critters rose up and they all revolted! I'm freaking out 'cause as far as I see All up I'm tied, I'm gonna die from animal-sity! I'm freaking out 'cause as far as I see All up I'm tied, I'm gonna die from animal-sity! Author's Note Based on the episode "Magical Mystery Cure" 244. Party Even More (Guest Submission by Godslittleprincess)(Note: Sung to the tune of Descendants's "Rotten To The Core) Sung by Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich They say I'm random They say I'm mad They say I'm hyper And that makes me glad A party pony Down to the bone Bring on the fun I'm in the zone So I put some sugar In my food Can you blame me? I'm in a happy mood They think I'm funny A total clown I'm glad you noticed Pinkie and Cheese: Let's paint the town! Look into my crystal ball Who's the fun-est of them all? Welcome to my crazy world, crazy world Let's party even more, more Party even more Let's party even more, more Who could ask for more? I'm nothing like the ponies—ponies who are bores Let's party even more, let's party even more Let's party even more Call me a lame-o Call me a dweeb How can you say that? I'm just... carefree! What, don't bring streamers? Or party hats? Gee, that sounds dull What's up with that? So I'm a misfit I love to bake You want some frosting On that cake Let's have a blast That's what you get The truth is... Pinkie and Cheese: You ain't seen nothing yet! Look into my crystal ball Who's the fun-est of them all? Welcome to my crazy world, crazy world Pinkie and Cheese: Let's party even more, more Party even more Let's party even more, more Who could ask for more? I'm nothing like the ponies—ponies who are bores Let's party even more, let's party even more Let's party even more 223. Warp Away(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical 3's "Walk Away") Sung by Discord Okay, Tree Hugger was getting a little too friendly with Fluttershy at the Gala for his liking. Still, it wasn't anything that putting the weird hippy in another dimension couldn't fix! Probably. Oooooo, oooooo, ooooo I guess I should've known better Should have strong-armed Fluttershy (Fluttershy) Ooh The weird Tree Hugger hippy She chose HER over THIS guy!? ('Ver this guy) I tell myself this time It's different I'm sending her to Another world now I'll never survive Jealousy coming If she stays, oh no Just warp away, ooh And don't come back Cos if my heart breaks it's gonna Hurt so bad You know I'm strong But she's mine, all mine! Before it's too late Ooh, just warp away! Warp, warp, warp away, Ooh just warp away Warp, warp, warp away, Aye-aye yeah I really wish I could blame you But you know that it's all your fault (Oh yes) no no no no ooh A reality that's different But no sweat, you'll never get all lost (Get all lost) It's got a beach with sunny skies all day! And you'll be attended to...I think... But ignore the fact it's humid Cos it stinks... Oooh yeah! Just warp away, ooh And don't come back Cos if my heart breaks it's gonna Hurt so bad You know I'm strong But she's mine, all mine! Before it's too late Ooh, just warp away! Warp, warp, warp away, Ooh just warp away Warp, warp, warp away (Whoooa) Just warp away Once 'Shy's apologized (Ooh) Don't you worry I'll let you out Well, if I remember to... Well, it's not my loss, ADIOS! Just warp away, ooh And don't come back Cos if my heart breaks it's gonna Hurt so bad You know I'm strong But she's mine, all mine! Before it's too late Ooh, just warp away! (Warp, warp, warp away) Warp away warp away Yeeaah (Warp, warp, warp away) Warp away, warp away All right! (Warp, warp, warp away, yeah, warp away!) Warp away warp away (Oh warp warp warp away) Warp away, warp away Ooh, ooh Author's Note Based on the episode "Make New Friends But Keep Discord" And Princess Celestia just said, "Yeah, but it made the Gala funny." 201. Trixie And The Thief(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty And The Beast's "Beauty And The Beast") Sung by Babs Seed All Trixie had to do that night was make a diamond disappear while blindfolded and tied upside-down from a burning rope over a giant vat of pudding. She never expected to be accused of stealing the Ostlerheimer Diamond she was using to lure a notorious thief called Rough Diamond. Act as grand as heck True as it can be One Manehatten Night Lots of smoke and lights But then suddenly Didn't turn up soon There was no relief All of us were scared None of us prepared Trixie and the thief So we ran away We'd clear Trixie's name Rough Diamond was here So we'd make it clear She wasn't the same At the Art Museum We had got a tip She would steal a stone We staked out alone She gave us the slip But we hit some luck I spared us the grief Diamond's one o'the guys A cop in disguise Trixie and the thief Act as grand as heck Saved Trixie's respect Trixie and the thief Author's Note And here we go again! Told you I'd be back. NOTE: I probably won't make this as long as the first one owing to most of the ideas being covered there, but I will try to squeeze as much as I can out, enough for 100 chapters at the very least. So pitch your ideas to me, as always! Let's make 300 songs a thing! Based on the comics. 204. The Initial Equestria Girls Reaction In A Nutshell(Note: Sung to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas's "What's This?") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... Does anyone remember back in the year of 2013 when the first movie for Friendship is Magic revealed that the protagonists would be not pastel coloured ponies, but pastel coloured HUMANS? Reactions were somewhat divided. What's this? What's this? This doth offend my eyes! What's this? Anthropomorphic, guys! What's this? I can't believe that they Would dare stoop this low Look Hasbro, this isn't fair What's this? What's this? What's this? These dress-up dolls like Bratz What's this? They look like total prats What's this? If there's no ponies Then it must be awful Dressed in glitter and much makeup Indignation starts to shake up WHAT is this? What's this? There's no room for non-ponies In my heart, I don't think But the promo posters Would make good coasters for my drink It's such a blatant cash grab Oh, I can't believe my eyes Behind my back I know there are The furries standing by Oh, look What's this? It takes place in a school? Oh, god... This all seems rather cruel, But why!? Oh damn you, Meghan McCarthy It makes grown men want to cry What's this? What's this? We know It's centered 'round a dance, Oh no... It's totally going to have Cliches Including boyfriends, bullies, proms as well And Spike's a DOG, so LOL They look like folks I've only met In porn-based bits of internet This looks like tripe This looks like tripe There's way too much here on my dish! What's this? Oh my, what now? A trailer's been put out But look, They toned down garish clout And so, They don't make me want to hurl or cry out Tear my eyes out, I guess I could live with this For ninety minutes only What's this? I think I'll hedge my bets and Wait for die hard fans to go And once the DVD's released I'll go and see the show And if it doesn't suck I guess I could go press my luck Or it'll just make me Go throw myself towards a truck The fans' reviews They're everywhere and all Around Apparently it's just Okay This empty place inside of me is filling up I guess it didn't stink enough I'll buy it, oh, I'll buy it But before I up and go, I've got to know I've got to know What is this sequel I have found? WHAT IS THIS? 205. Conformist(Note: Sung to the tune of Enchanted's "True Love's Kiss") Sung by Starlight Glimmer It all started when Twilight's friends got called (by a map that sprung up in the middle of Twilight's Castle) to a village where everypony was basically the same. Down to the attitudes, and the cutie marks (taken away to be replaced with an equals sign). All of this was to conform to the frankly scary views on friendship by the town founder. When you meet somepony who should be your friend The two of you must make sure you don't bring that to an end! So to get past all the grief, And get past the tears and shame, Nopony feels like arguing if we're all the same! I have made a town of conformists All adhering to the things I list That's what brings everaftering so happy And I know difference just leads to fights, You'll just argue over wrong and right! Know your limits and you'll know true bliss Just blend in with all the conformists Aaaaa aaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaa aaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa I have made a town of conformists There's no Cutie Mark that I don't miss! That's what brings everaftering so happy (so happy) Be your best by never being your best, Roll with that and you'll pick up the rest! Know your limits and you'll know true bliss Just blend in with all the conformists! Author's Note Based on the episodes "Cutie Markless - Part 1 and 2" Fun fact: This was originally going to be called "Communist" but I don't know if she actually is. We only had like one meme to go on, after all. 210. Stand Still(Note: Sung to the tune of A Goofy Movie's "Stand Out") Sung by Fluttershy As all the animals in the Royal Garden went to absurd lengths to avoid Fluttershy, the yellow pegasus became angrier and angrier. Open up your eyes, take a look at me Please don't hide yourselves in the nearby trees I'm driven by the critters like the shark on a hunt And I won't stop until you start to stand still Gah, stand still! Some ponies settle for the typical thing Like the Wonderbolts, apple-carts and wings It ain't a question of if, just a matter of time Before you spring this critter-trap of mine Once you're touching up the net I laid out You gonna snare yourself, of this there's no doubt Just stand still For just one sec Or I wring your scrawny little necks 'Til all of you stop and stare and see, Gonna stand still, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME, yeah As I'm laying bait right all over the lawn (I'm totally staking out right from dusk until dawn) And I'll tie up all the snares, then when I'm all done The critters can't leave 'til I'm number one No method to the madness and no means of escape Gonna stop every bird, and trap them all using tape It ain't a question of how, just a matter of when My traps entangle all the garden critter friends Maybe this is fate, I'm in over my head, But I won't give up making them my friends, 'til the end Just stand still For just one sec Or I wring your scrawny little necks 'Til all of you stop and stare and see, Gonna stand still, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME, yeah If I could make you stop and take a look at me instead of just Runnin' scared There's nothin' that I wouldn't do And there's no length I wouldn't go to, I would dare All I need is half a mile of cotton rope, and bait sets up the trap Every bird or bug or swine Will be mine, mine, mine! Just stand still For just one sec Or I wring your scrawny little necks 'Til all of you stop and stare and see, Gonna stand still Stand still, hey Stand still! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Stand still! 'Til all of you stop and stare and see Gotta stand still YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME! Author's Note Based on the episode "The Best Night Ever" ATTENTION! The well of songs runneth dry and I need help having songs thrown at me as a muse! Submit your ideas via the usual procedure. Let's try and make the 300th song a thing! 212. The Strife I Freed(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "The Life I Lead") Sung by Twilight Sparkle To say that Twilight Sparkle did not have misgiving about freeing Discord from his stony prison would be untrue. But, orders from Princess Celestia were orders, so with all the Elements of Harmony together, she did. And then Discord announced he'd be living with Fluttershy... I feel a surge of deep apprehension Much as a Flim and Flam sales pitch indeed When he's released but on the bail from stony jail What madness is the strife I freed! The orders came precisely on schedule "Bust Discord out, reform him for me" I don't have a single clopping clue what she thinks he'll do I'm regretting the strife I freed! It stinks I had to use my crown and Elements To make Discord un-stoned; It's the world's worst end She's the lord of the castle The alpha of the pack! So WHAT THE HECK WAS PRINCESS CELESTIA THINKING WHEN SHE TOLD US ALL TO BRING HIM BACK!? It's 6:03 and the pages of my volumes Got torn straight out and went down Discord's throat Containing spells to force him straight From volumes four to eight! Oh Lordy, watch this strife I freed... Can Fluttershy really be a gen'ral? The future danger lies within her hooves But girls, the pony that we need can't just go concede As long Chaos lives under your roof! Equestria is run with precision But Discord has chosen with whom to room, Tradition, discipline, and rules must be the tools Without them - disorder! Catastrophe! Anarchy! - In short, I think our pal is doomed... Author's Note Based on the episode "Keep Calm and Flutter On" 214. Blow Up My Top(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical's "Bop To The Top") Sung by Rainbow Dash Under pain of hoof to the face, I must state in the plainest way possible that Rainbow Dash is definitely not angry that Tank has to nap for about 3 months. I believe I'm fine now, calm as calm can be Lady, to be totally frank, I'm FINE as you can see Kickin' and a bitin', blowin' off some steam Anything it takes to let you know I'm totally not angry Work my tail off every day I got told to bring the winter? Bite me, I should say! Get outta my face! I'm not gonna blow blow blow, blow up my top Push and pull and move that cloud round JUST EFF OFF, GO HOME YA FLOPS! ...Let's start again. Girls, just stop, else I'll just drop Does this face look ANGRY? Get outta my face til the music stops I won't blow blow, blow up my top My head won't pop, blow up my top Gimme gimme, shimmy shimmy Move that booty and turn around Walk in the other direction Move those muscles, start that hustle I'm not gonna blow blow blow, blow up my top Unless you trigger my frustrations Stomp, stomp, stomp to the rump This winter sucks! Chop, chop, chop, don't wanna stop Going for the cider... Tank's on borrowed time and I can't make it stop (Stop) And that just hacks me off! Blow up my top! Author's Note Based on the episode "Tanks For The Memories" Rainbow Dash is probably the Grinch. 215. Duckface(Note: Sung to the tunes of Ducktales's "Ducktales Theme") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... Memes, memes everywhere, capturing Rainbow Dash pulling a face so bizarre that is apparently deserves internet notoriety. And so, this ode is dedicated to the glory that is the highly expressive face of Rainbow Dash. Pony like a hurricane Here on TV, With a gift to pull faces Somewhat creepy... Like it came from Japan Or something from 4chan! Duckface! Woo-oo! Every week a meme is showing Duckface! Woo-oo! I WUB WOO is just a name for Duckface! Woo-oo! While it seems she's not very photogenic, And although it isn't so academic, A freeze-frame bonus On which we focus D-d-d-danger! Watch behind you! There's a hiatus to find you What to do, just find a JPEG Duckface! Duckface! Woo-oo! Every week a meme is showing Duckface! Woo-oo! Dash the Grinch or Smugdash or that Duckface! Woo-oo! D-d-d-danger! Watch behind you! There's a hiatus to find you What to do, just find a JPEG Duckface! Woo-oo! Every week a meme is showing Duckface! Woo-oo! I WUB WOO is just a name for Duckface! Woo-oo! Every week a meme is showing Duckface! Woo-oo! Angry face or Dash the Grinch or Duckface! Woo-oo! Not normal face or ugly face, no, Duckface! Woo-oo! Author's Note I had to. Sorry. 217. Things Are Not Where They Appear(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas II: Journey To The New World's "Things Are Not What They Appear") Sung by The Mayor of Appleloosa This is a public service announcement from the Mayor of Appleloosa "I am Mayor of Appleloosa, and keeper of the law in small town. Yes, is not much to see, but Appleloosa is still very charming village in own way. But recently many tourists are coming to town to see 'famous apple family' or other things. Looking for AppleOOSA. I cannot help you with apple family or buffalo or whatever else you think we have here! So on behalf of the citizens of Appleloosa, I will say this; for buffalos, Apple Family and pomme-related events, visit AppleOOSA. All other tourists are to PLEASE visit AppleLOOSA. Simples." Things are not where they appear As the town will make quite clear It's not the town you know you see Saturday morning draws near Things are never what they seem In the town, apple's the theme But please don't spell that missing L Or else you'll go elsewhere, I scream You'll be surprised. There's no apples, guys You are thinking of AppleOOSA! There's a twin town whose name is wrote down As AppleLOOSA, so close, yet so far! So before you ask about cider flasks Or Applebuck Season, 'Kay? 'Kay! If you ought to know, after E, it's O Appleoosa's where you've stayed! Yay! AppleLOOSA, dear, wants to make it all clear Nowhere near Ponyville, guys They cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, Why? Things are not where they appear And the finest proof's right here Nothing's the same, 'cept for the name The rest is like 'far' and 'near'! Please proofread your map, they say It should save yourself a day The one with no L's near Ponyville While the other's a trek away! Clueless and wild They just get all riled As the tourists all ask for Braeburn... Whoopsie, I thought This faux pas they wrought Was the same as my own, what a burn! Things are never what they seem I'm right, I'm right! Two towns get mixed up, you see I'm right, I'm right! So if you go, make sure you KNOW The town of apple dreams So I'll go make something clear Things are not where they appear! Author's Note Based on the episode "Appleoosa's Most Wanted" I swear it did used to be spelled that way. Wasn't it? 218. Derpy (Guest Submission by Rubbaduckwolf)(Note: Sung to the tune of Tinker Belle and the Legend of the Neverbeast's "Strange Sights) Sung by Time Turner Derpy You drop all my stuff Your eyes are all skewed But I don’t really care Weird How you make me so smitten So come in the TARDIS with me My muffins are gone You blame it on Bon Bon I still don’t give a crap It’s you that I care for Weird How you stand up to Daleks So come in the TARDIS with me Do you want to adventure with me I’m British and I drink all the tea Come on in, on a whim Don’t hold back, fall into my hooves I’m the Doctor, you know You are so clumsy With all sorts of blunders Still I see your wonder And I hug you, too Weird How your eyes don’t distract me So come in the TARDIS with me Do you want to adventure with me I’m British and I drink all the tea Come on in, on a whim Don’t hold back, fall into my hooves I’m the Doctor, you know If you don’t know what to do, then come with me Adventure through time/space, around and around If you see my hoof, then wonders abound ‘Cause I need some company Do you want to adventure with me I’m British and I drink all the tea Come on in, on a whim Don’t hold back, fall into my hooves I’m the Doctor, you know Do you want to adventure with me I’m British and I drink all the tea Come on in, on a whim Don’t hold back, fall into my hooves I’m the Doctor, you know You're not alone 219. What Is That Bat?(Note: Sung to the tune of The Happiest's Millionaire's "What's Wrong With That?") Sung by Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy Even after the vampire fruitbats had been removed from Applejack's farm, the orchards were apparently still being raided. They had expected to see straggling fruit bats attacking the apples during the stakeout. What Twilight and the others didn't expect was to see Fluttershy sitting in a tree, hissing at them and sucking an apple totally dry. Ah've been doin' a stakeout And Ah spy up ahead! It could be a fruit bat Catchin' mah eye! It's up hanging in the orchard...and it's lookin' at me Oh buck me in the face, that there's Fluttershy! What's wrong with that? What is that bat? A pony sporting two sharp fangs, What's with that bat!? I can see Fluttershy there, An apple in her hooves, But why's she suckin' it dry, yeah, what's the biz? So come on down Fluttershy, and just can the act, ya... HIIIIIISSSSSS! ...Yeah, on second thoughts, I'll leave her where she is... What's wrong with that? What is that bat? Pinkie thinks it'll eat us all What's with that bat!? Here on this farm I'm watchin' Three acres of mah bumper crop Where are they now? In the stomach of Flutterbat! And all Ah can ask is why? Did Twilight's spell go way awry? All in vain Ohh, the pain! Ah believe this is awful! I believe it's total crock! I don't think she'll respond by saying please! Ah believe it's gone to pieces, mah best friend's totally rogue What could drive the gal to feast upon mah trees? What's wrong with that? What is that bat? Cos Fluttershy's a batpony. Why? What's with that bat!? Author's Note Based on the episode "Bats!" 222. The Boring Report(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "The Morning Report") Sung by Rainbow Dash Under Twilight Sparkle's careful tutelage, Rainbow tried to write an essay on the Wonderbolts. It didn't really go anywhere, sadly. Something something dates, just gotta memorize it all Twilight does remember, though just HOW I can't recall Wonderbolts were founded in...oh I'll make something up This essay's less exciting than just fiddling with this cup I think that General Firefly had a mark in flight or fire...? Imagine how it would have been if she cooked round a frier! This is the boring report I know that it's rather short Writing essays? Abort! It's way duller than sport That's the boring report Apparently I must explain the core philosophy Of every single member to remain a nominee! I'm doodling in the book, making Twilight look just giant Cos it's boring and it's stupid, so I'm not compliant Memorizing members by their age and name and rank? I'd rather be shoving a huge cactus up my flank! This is the boring report I know that it's rather short Writing essays? Abort! It's way duller than sport That's the boring report. Author's Note Based on the episode "Testing, Testing, 1 2 3" 225. Never Knew My Costume(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess And The Frog's "Never Knew I Needed") Sung by Twilight Sparkle A blue cape with stars, a matching hat with bells on, a fake beard, and Twilight Sparkle felt that it should have been obvious who she was dressing up as for Nightmare Night. Or at the very least WHAT she was. "With that beard, I reckon you're some sorta country music singer," Applejack hazarded a guess. Or not, Twilight thought irritably. For the way you see my suit For being the perfect reflection For the way I made the outfit that I have With everything that I wanted to have They all should see that I'm dressed as Starswirl, oh yeah For the way Spike thought I looked retired (Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah, yeah) And for the way no-one among my friends (Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah) Didn't see I'm NOT dressed as a weirdo clown! But at the same time, I'll just walk all over town And hope nopony makes the same mistake again... It's the worst thing, they never knew my costume Not a single pony had an idea That's the worst thing, they never knew my costume It should be so clear, I'm dressed as a wizard! But that's not all, guess what? So sometime after Applejack made a suggestion that was somehow dafter I must admit (guess what I was mistaken for?) A country-music singer!? I fell on the floor Go read your unicorn history! EVERY chapter! It's the worst thing, they never knew my costume Not a single pony had an idea (I'm CRYING here) That's the worst thing, they never knew my costume (I am Starswirl) It should be so clear, I'm dressed as a wizard! (It should be so clear) Who knew that I would be (Who knew that I would be) The wrong identity (The wrong identity) Undeniably angrier Cape and beard and hat here, I'm obviously Starswirl the Bearded! It's the worst thing, they never knew my costume (I'm a WIZARD!) Not a single pony had an idea (While I was here) (Said they had no idea) That's the worst thing, they never knew my costume (Come on, ponies!) It should be so clear, I'm dressed as a wizard! (It should be clear) (So clear, so clear, I'm dressed as a wizard) It should be so clear, I'M DRESSED AS A WIZARD! Author's Note Based on the episode "Luna Eclipsed" 227. I Sew Things Now(Note: Sung to the tune of Into The Woods's "I Know Things Now") Sung by Applejack The Carousel Boutique was failing, no matter how Applejack saw it. The dresses she was making were simply not good enough for the big market. But that's exactly what Applejack had been doing her whole life. She must have at least gotten the hang of it! ...Right? Mah mark said, "Make a dress" Knock somethin' up, But it's a mess! Ah just can't make it Frou-frou none... It's what Ah always done! Shoulda seen some things, Many beautiful things, But Ah can't recall what they were... Ah can't help but think, Did Ah do somethin' else? Naw, Ah can't have done Mah life's dresses and belts! But it sorta feels depressing- Well, depressing and bleak. When Ah stitch this dress Like Ah'm under duress How could Ah know that it looks bad? Gotta eat next week, Money-wise, it's bleak... Well, depressing and bleak. So Ah work mah flank And Ah wonder perhaps, Is mah true destiny Somethin' involvin' a farm...or maybe not...? Because everything familiar Seemed to draw a blank forever, At the end of the day Sewin' machine's broke again! But mah cutie mark says Ah've always done this since mah birth, So then why does everything, Look just way plain and drab? Yet Ah sew things now, Many valuable things, Tryin' not to lose the store... Ah'm losin' mah faith Cos yah know what Ah think? The life Ah selected It totally stinks! Cos mah work's too plain for parties, And Ah don't believe in arty And though all mah work is functional That there's different than "good". But Ah know: You should to, Mah mark says, It's what Ah do. Why do Ah suck, but sew a lot? Like mah destiny's not... Author's Note Based on the episode "Magical Mystery Cure" As (sort of) requested by Ugly-Duckling123 228. Respect Isn't Easy(Note: Sung to the tune of Oliver and Company's "Perfect Isn't Easy") Sung by Diamond Tiara So many ponies at school formed a lot of opinions about Diamond Tiara, which she found rather hurtful. They simply didn't understand. Why didn't they understand...that she actually WAS better than them? So it was easier simply not to even try to identify with them. Unless it was for her dad. Girl, I've got more than you Money and objects too Respect isn't easy But it's me When you know my family's richer One does what one must My house is bigger than your house I don't come AFTER you, my ride is faster too My cutie mark, a pose! What have YOU got to show, huh? Sometimes it's too much For even me! But when all the bits says, "Yes" We don't care if you say "No"! My dad could buy some guy's tiny business And tell the swine to go! When I must rest my head I've a princess-sized bed La dee da da My greatness becomes me, n'est-ce pas? Unrivaled, unruffled I'm riches unleashed, yeah I drag moneybags I'm stating this clearly - you're all worse off than me! Though many covet my pride and wealth They're barking up the wrong tree Well, you can't have them, lassie and laddy, Your parents don't have jack on my daddy! Compared to me you're just A simple rat! Respect, my dears? What's that? 229. 100 Shows(Note: Sung to the tune of Tinker Bell and the Legend of the Neverbeast's "1000 Years") Sung by Brony_of_Brody Man, the pony community has come a long way, has it not! So what better way to celebrate than with this flash of inspiration that sort of came together at the last minute, although don't tell anyone, I'm more professional than that... A hundred shows is a long, long time Even for a Hasbro property Derpy mixed up dates Went to Doctor Hooves Who was drinking out a straw that's swizzle-y In a hundred shows We look for background ponies high and low So peel your eyes, my dear Knowing that bronies would (somehow) Last one hundred shows And Letrotski, bowl your ball straight please Amethyst Star's planning it all Lyra Heartstrings finds Sweetie Drop's a spy, Oh and Stephen Magnet stands up tall. In a hundred shows We look for background ponies high and low So peel your eyes, my dear Knowing that bronies would (somehow) Last one hundred shows And Vinyl Scratch jams with Octavia, a match Cello dubstep, Oh no, they'll be late for prep! To the DUBMOBILE Bass on Wheels! In a hundred shows Gummy's existential crisis? No! In a hundred shows, oh So peel your eyes, my dear Knowing that bronies would (somehow) Last one hundred shows Author's Note Based on the episode "Slice of Life" I cannot believe LYRA'S the normal one in the relationship. Or maybe they're both equally weird and that's why it works anyway 233. Gotta Floss My Donkey(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical 2's "Gotta Go My Own Way") Sung by Rarity and Fancy Pants Trying to juggle between Twilight's birthday party and another garden party, Rarity was fast running out of plausible excuses to be absent for a few moments, to a point where they got ridiculous. To her surprise, everypony still believed her. Trusting souls, or upper class twits? Rarity couldn't decide. I gotta somehow get away Something about me Needing to leave the room... 'Scuse me, I'll be back soon I need to adjust my makeup now I'll stick around, okay? It’s so hard to say But I gotta juggle two events What the hay...? I’ve got to head back and go do that thing With the stuff and the um... The whatchamacallit...? I shouldn't take long, go on without me But at least for now I gotta floss my donkey (my donkey) Don’t wanna leave my friends behind So I'm in both places And I have to think every time Another excuse, saving faces Excuse me, I need to paint my dog I'll stick around, okay? It’s so hard to say Wait a mo, my cupboard needs a trim... What the hay...? I’ve got to head back and go do that thing With the stuff and the um... The whatchamacallit...? I shouldn't take long, go on without me But at least for now I gotta floss my donkey (my donkey) What about you? Talk about everything you're up to... Can I be excused...? Of course, do whatever concerns you... I shouldn't take long What are you supposed to do? I gotta prep something outside... ...We ARE outside... I’ve got to head back and go do that thing With the stuff and the um... The whatchamacallit...? I shouldn't take long, go on without me But at least for now I gotta floss my donkey (my donkey) I’ve got to head back and go do that thing With the stuff and the um... The whatchamacallit...? I shouldn't take long, go on without me But at least for now I gotta floss my donkey I gotta floss my donkey I gotta floss my donkey Author's Note Based on the episode "Sweet And Elite" 234. Tragic Postal Guy(Note: Sung to the tune of Home On The Range's "Magic Carpet Ride") Sung by Parcel Post Parcel Post felt that the purple unicorn could have at least politely told him that the party inside was for somepony else... Oh well. At least the pink pony gave him a cake. I like to dream yes, yes, right between my rounds you see I see party stuff to left and to right They could know, you know, they might My birthday date, then the door slammed in my face... Well, your bluntness was way unkind Why don't you break the news to me gently, girl To this tragic postal guy Before it all got to me I got cake from the pink pony It was fine to some degree What the heck, girl? Wait a sec, girl Then I got sent on my way The principle's what matters here, They may not know it was today But Sparklebutt just slammed the door Well, she made it clear to go away It's rather rude, you could have simply told me, dude... Well, your bluntness was way unkind Why don't you break the news to me gently, girl To this tragic postal guy Before it all got to me I got cake from the pink pony It was fine to some degree What the heck, girl? Wait a sec, girl Then I got sent on my way Author's Note Based on the episode "The Last Roundup" 236. Two Stares(Note: Sung to the tune of Camp Rock's "Two Stars") Sung by Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo Testament to Fluttershy's hidden superpony: this mare can win a staring contest with a cockatrice. Others say she could catch Rainbow Dash towing a heavy balloon if she wanted to but that's just silly. Wake up With Fluttershy, her eyes will leave ya cold Stares deep into yer soul She'd make even a basilisk want to curl up an' cry Nopony knows why She breaks your spirit in only seconds Look at her, look at me She beat a cockatrice, can't you see? She stood up alone, and turned us back from stone And we believe that 2 stares are worse-er than one C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at her C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at me Listen Don't play her in a staring contest cos we fear You'd burst into tears, just give in 'Cuz looking in her eyes will make you totally tame, it's sort of lame For all the wild mares, don't fight it, just don't try Look at her, look at me She beat a cockatrice, can't you see? Stared it in the face, that pressure takes first place And we believe that 2 stares are worse-er than one C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at her C'mon, c'mon, c'mon It was too much for us, that chicken's eyes hit, oh... Twilight, she just got taken for granite And that's not how she oughta be Look at her, look at me She beat a cockatrice, can't you see? Death glare trumped by none, it beats -out everyone And we believe that 2 stares are worse-er than one Look at her, look at me She beat a cockatrice, can't you see? You'll be short of breath, like you just gazed at death And we believe that 2 stares are worse-er than one C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at her C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at me C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at her C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at me 237. Apathy(Note: Sung to the tune of Into The Woods's "Agony") Sung by Octavia and Lyra Heartstrings When Mayor Mare announced to the citizens of Ponyville that a monster was attacking and that everypony should stay in their homes while Princess Twilight and her friends sorted it out, some panicked. The savvier ones shrugged, and cancelled dinner with friends for the day. "I don't mind the monsters, really," remarked Bon-Bon. "All the attacks give us a good chance to do a bit of screaming and running around. Good exercise." Vinyl Scratch added, "It's great! The last one demolished my house! So I got to redecorate it, one half for me, one half for Tavi! Didn't even need to clean it!" "And when it's all over we get together as a community and rebuild, then have a picnic out in the town square," said Cloudchaser. "Gotta love those." Another crisis, Besieging the town, The third attack this week... The Mayor's advice is Some things will go down, Seal all doors and cracks this week. Apathy...! While I'm staying indoors, I'll fix Vinyl's machine, And play cello to while 'way the hours. Monster rampages? Been meaning for ages, To redecorate... The work would be tiring, It saves me from hiring Somepony, it's great! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah- Apathy! We could scream and run rings, An attack is good exercise Among other things... Apathy! Oh, it's monsters again... It's dinner at home then, I'm working alone then, Curled up in our den Is this not farcical, Routine, Ill-mannered, Annoying, Inconvenient, Tiring, Ill-timed like hay fever A wrench in the plans? I was going to go bowling today! And I was- Were you now? -'bout to catch a train! At least all who are outside Will be chased everywhere Fills the lungs with fresh air, And it's bringing jobs, To the construction mobs... Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah- Apathy? Works for me! Though... Then when monster's all been, Have a picnic outside- And go rebuild the town- All right out on the green. Apathy We don't panic no more! It's just not worth the chore. Author's Note Based (loosely) on the episode "Slice of Life" 239. Looking for Boulder(Note: Sung to the tune of Bambi's "Looking for Romance") Sung by Rainbow Dash Boulder was in Maud's pocket the whole time. Rainbow was rather salty about it after spending several hours looking. Camouflage was truly the worst game ever. She brings us a rock And we play Camouflage Like Hide and Seek but large And it's way more intense She brings us a rock Boulder hides and we seek Could have taken a week Searching amidst the grit I'm seeking that stone Like a pin in a pin factory How the heck are we supposed to see Where that stupid rock's lyin'? I'm seeking that stone And guess what!? When the game was complete She showed it was in her pocket pleat Well that's dung! and YOU'RE dung and I'M dung for even tryin'... She brings us a rock We thought it's on the floor... And all along, Maud held onto that stone It stayed in her coat and it gets on my goat! This game was just dumb and I vote that we just go home... She brings us a rock Camouflage is Worst Game It's true Author's Note Based on the episode "Maud Pie" 242. It Feels Like Chaos(Note: Sung to the tune of The Muppet Christmas Carol's "It Feels Like Christmas") Sung by Twilight Sparkle When Twilight woke up that morning to see animals with stilt legs and chocolate rain, a physical embodiment of chaos wasn't the reason she thought of first. There certainly wasn't denying one thing though. It was definitely chaotic. It's in the raising of a street pony's ire, Is that the reason someone's house is on fire? It's true, wherever you find him It feels like Chaos A cup of chocolate that fell down from the heavens Chocolate rain all the way up to eleven In all the places you find him It feels like Chaos It is a huge catastrophe As we all stopped for staring At candy clouds all day, It is the season of the spirit The message, if we hear it Is "CHAOS RULEZ OK" It's in the popcorn trees that we get all bothered We must do something 'fore the town is all smothered It's all the ways that he has fun That feel like Chaos A part of this day that'll always stay with me Critters with legs that were as tall as a tree Yes, when I look at all around It feels like Chaos It is a huge catastrophe As we all stopped for staring At candy clouds all day, It is the season of the spirit The message, if we hear it Is "CHAOS RULEZ OK" It's in the raising of a street pony's ire, Is that the reason someone's house is on fire? It's true, wherever you find him It feels like Chaos It's true, wherever you find him It feels like Chaos It feels like Chaos It feels like Chaos 245. Sign These(Note: Sung to the tune of Moana's "Shiny") Sung by Rainbow Dash Daring Do could only stare in bewilderment as Rainbow dragged what could only be described as an enormous cart of merchandise up to the booth for autographs. After Quibble Pants followed suit, she decided she needed to lay low from cons for a while and find a nice, relaxing, death-trap-filled tomb. Well, merchandise hasn't always been this mint I was a drab little fan once Now I know your signature's worth ALL the bits Because I'm your biggest fan, DD Did you sign all my coffee mugs and mats? Sign all the books on the inside? I need these ones on paper, for Ebray, stat Hope ya don't mind I need you to sign these Like a contract from a lawyer's C&D All for me, and later on Sign these All my books and all my plushies, as you please If ya please Don't you know I got stacks, stacks, stacks I got your books, first edition In addition... Oh, and off the racks, racks, racks, Got t-shirts and vinyl figures Aaaand my slippers I just love your books, And your courage and looks Well, well, well Daring Do's got body pillows, three booths down You little god of archeologists Wait! I'll go buy two then come back here By the book! (Get it?) Ahuizotl's got nothin' on you, man Wait! I have to give you all my house keyrings, And all my stuff that's still outside For times like these I bought myself all sorts of things, And I'm still gonna need you to Sign these Saying that I'm just too obsessed is not enough All my stuff, my luck is so Lucky Trading cards and bobble heads and other stuff All autographed, here please Can you try, try, try To make the messages personal For the stuff I won't sell (to the fans) I could cry, cry, cry For not finding out about Daring Do All, all that soon Far from the last of my merchandise, Signing the life of Adventures that made you so famous, Trying to be polite, But I just can't contain all the hype Hoo-wee! Can you see the rest behind me? Think I'm holding the queue, so Sign these And I don't think it's the last you'll ever see Sign my three backpacks please, and then Sign these Pen dispensers and a toaster right here please... Just for me I'm gonna need you to sign these Your autographs here, so sign please Author's Note As requested by Starlight Nova Based on the episode "Stranger than Fan Fiction"
202. Think A Little Steeper(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess And The Frog's "Dig A Little Deeper") Sung by Pinkie Pie Princess's books don't go cheap, you know. At least, that's the point Pinkie was trying to make in an attempt to trade off Twilight's old books at Rainbow Falls. Unfortunately, all that accomplished was everypony being scared away and Twilight taking the books back after learning how valuable they were. Don't matter what you offer Don't matter 'bout your wares The fact it's the latest edition I don't care (No I don't care) Don't matter if they're grubby The point is they're just rare! They're owned by THE Twilight Sparkle So let's strike a deal (Let us go strike a deal) And you all know that they're worth some Thousand bits for every book! You might even get double If you know just where to look You got to think a little steeper Y'know it's only fair You got to think a little steeper They're not found anywhere! When you realize it's a steal You'll find out what you need Fortunes on eBray guaranteed You got to dig (dig) You got to dig (dig) Princess Twilight's the bestest pony You wanna get souvenirs Reading gonna make you happy now Should you give this moment a pass? No! I just ask for something nice I just ask for something dear All you need is some items that Match the prices I got here You got to think a little steeper Thousand bits of stuff You got to think a little steeper Freshly mint, no trace of fluff! I take cards, checks and bits Or just antique valuables that fits Think a little steeper and they're yours Official princess merchandise? Come step right up and feast your eyes Twilight got these from Celestia Who got them from Star-Swirl Who got them from The Ancients Who won them in a game of Bowls You got to think a little steeper For you it's gonna be tough You got to think a little steeper Your offer's nowhere near enough When you realize it's a steal You'll find out what you need Fortunes on eBray guaranteed Form an orderly queue Start the bidding 'bout now (Fortunes on eBray) (Fortunes on eBray) Fortunes on eBray guaranteed (Ahhh...) Author's Note Based on the episode "Trade Ya!"
203. Fixing Up Her 203. Fixing Up Her (Note: Sung to the tune of Frozen's "Fixer Upper") Sung by Rainbow Dash Rainbow Dash has a blackbelt in karate. As she massaged the hoof that got injured off the sandbag, Applebloom was left wondering how a pony learns karate, let alone masters it. And so Rainbow Dash moved onto the next idea for a cutie mark...one of several for the day. Is it the softness in her legs? Or the hooves as broke as eggs? Or the brittle, little muscles that ain't there? And though she just ain't built for punches It was just based on some hunches... Well, there's always judo, wrestling, maybe kickboxing to spare! So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, So she’s feeble and weak. But with protein and training, She could well be making A career in martial arts next week! So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, But I'm sure as sure can be I can fix this fixer-upper Up on an activity spree! Is it the way that she just crashed? Or that her attitude's too brash? We've tried juggling and jousting, even mime Cos I'm sure that I'm being thorough Gotta get this done tomorrow Even so, we still have kites, and hang-gliding and crime! She’s just a bit of a fixer-upper, Cos SOMETHING is bound to click This desolation is confirmation There MUST be elation some time, I think So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, But I know what to do The way to fix up this fixer-upper List some more stuff up for you! So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, That’s a minor thing. Her mark eludes her, and that includes her The scheme to skate at the Derby ring! So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, But odds say sometime soon, She will find her skill by force of will and The whole thing's fixed by noon. We’re not sayin' that it's easy, ‘Cause there will be pain involved. And yet the tears and sweat and blood Should get it all resolved. I picked the most choices Of the stuff to do today. And yet nothing seemed to work, And yet nothing seemed to work, I won't give up, no way! I won't give up, I say! Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper, That’s what it’s all about! AJ! Twilight! Pinkie! Starting to think-ie There's not enough we ain't tried out. This kid’s a bit of a fixer-upper, But when push comes to shove. The only fixer-upper fixer That can fix up this fixer-upper is More! More! More, more, more! Stuff (More stuff) Stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff Stuff! (I hope...!) More... Stuff! Author's Note Based on the episode "Call of the Cutie" As requested by Sky Blue CMC. And that's how Rainbow was indirectly responsible for all property damage in Ponyville. Please note: I do not intend to make this a daily exercise like last time. Having almost exhausted the most popular ones right off the bat, I feel that I should take this a bit more slowly. You are however, welcome to suggest more candidates to parody, as usual. Attention makes me happy
206. You Suck(Note: Sung to the tune of Camp Rock's "We Rock") Sung by Rainbow Dash When you've had 35 games of tic-tac-toe and lose all of them, the validity of the results does become a little questionable. Even Rainbow Dash found it surprising that Rarity seriously didn't just cotton on the whole time they spent waiting for Fluttershy to catch up while climbing the mountain. Somehow. Cause you suck You suck You suck, girl You suck You suck, girl Playin' tic-tac-toe Thirty-five in a row Pinkie kicked your flank And you know it You can feel that cross Seal ANOTHER loss Those noughts ain't hot You see Pinkie trolling All you SHOULD need is a game plan And figure out Pinkie's pace Because wow, you're playing wrong Throw your hooves up in the air and scream Should have it down pat at game seventeen! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Nopony in the world's quite as bad as you Even I know how to force a draw or two! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl (You suck, you suck, you suck, girl) (You suck, you suck, you suck, girl) There are other ways To pass the time up here Cos Fluttershy's Been gone awhile Should have said instead "Wanna play I Spy?" Clearly board game ain't Your sense of style All you SHOULD need is a game plan And figure out Pinkie's pace Because wow, you're playing wrong Throw your hooves up in the air and scream You couldn't have failed even in your dreams! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Nopony in the world's quite as bad as you You haven't seen the pattern, is that REALLY true!? 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Got the pieces on the board And it's the thing that bugs me most You couldn't get just one draw down Or stage a turnaround (You suck) 'Cause you suck (This sucks!) You suck, you suck, girl Thirty five defeats non-stop... 'Cause you suck (This sucks!) You suck, you suck, girl You should have quit before you flopped... Throw your hooves up in the air and scream You play as though you're still totally green! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Nopony in the world's quite as bad as you It was a total flank-kicking through and through! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Throw your hooves up in the air and scream And I'm not saying this just to be all mean! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl Nopony in the world's quite as bad as you And I know somehow Pinkie totally knew! 'Cause you suck, (you suck!) you suck, you suck, you suck, girl You suck, you suck (You suck!) You suck, girl You suck, you suck This sucks! Author's Note Based on the episode "Dragonshy" Seriously, just look up how to never lose at this game and you'll see that it's the most pointless game in the universe.
207. You Might Shrink(Note: Sung to the tune of Cars 2's "You Might Think") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Twilight was fairly confident the spell to turn her friends into Breezies would be reasonably pain-free. But as a friend, she felt it was probably best to run down the sensations of transformation at least once. Oh well uh, you might shrink like crazy To nought point one foot two, Or maybe you'll (if you're lucky) Grow new eyes and a view But I think that I'm fine The spell should work this time You might shrink too quickly The maths might be askew (You might shrink like crazy) You might shrink like crazy (Hope it works on you) Hope it works on you You might feel some sensation That's ticklish and quite fierce And shorty after that comes Some feeling like you're pierced Don't fret, it's not TOO wild So put on your bravest smile You might shrink too quickly And wind up in a stew (You might shrink like crazy) You might shrink like crazy (Hope it works on you) Hope it works on you But this ain't hard. The spell checks out (The spell checks out) (It should be quick) It should be quick So fast and slick (So fast and slick) It may feel unpleasant, but I've got it down It feels unpleasant Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Oh well uh, you might feel quite delirious Like a cart ran you down But it only lasts For a moment there Won't be back around Oh, I think that you're fine Cos it's Help Those Breezies Time! You might shrink too quickly But that's not likely, phew... (You might shrink like crazy) You might shrink like crazy (Hope it works on you) Hope it works on you, oh Hope it works on you (Hope it works on you) Hope it works on you Author's Note Based on the episode "It Ain't Easy Being Breezies"
208. I'm Looking Out For Spoons(Note: Sung to the tune of The Return of Jafar's "I'm Looking Out For Me") Sung by Pinkie Pie In the end, Twilight took so long deciding the right flavour for the pancakes Pinkie simply went for her patented Every-Berry-Every-Chip surprise. The surprise being Pinkie lost the measuring spoon in the batter by accident. Somepony was about to be greeted with a choking hazard... That's it! I'm sorry! I hate to be dramatic, But there's something in the pancake pile Measuring Spoon Was lost in there, dood So please chew really slowly for a while! I was trying to gauge the chocolate chips And then it just vanished! Look out below, For plastic things this Afternoon, Hope all goes well! I'm lookin' out for spoons! Okay! I admit, That some long and plastic bit, Went in the pancake batter So speak up and just say, If it's not okay, Because this really matters! If you find it hard to swallow something there And if it's plastic-y, Just leave it by the chair! Oh this oversight Makes you swoon! From here on in, I'm lookin' out for spoons! Oh, I don't want nopony else To gulp it down A mixing spoon that brown I'm sure it's not good for your health! Could cough at any time (Not to be rude) 'Cept for Twilight Sparkle Face-planted in the food Oh I hope nopony chokes too soon From here on in, I'm lookin' out for spoons! Author's Note Based on the episode "Castle Sweet Castle"
209. A Very Important Girl To Use(Note: Sung to the tune of Winnie The Pooh's "A Very Important Thing To Do") Sung by Vinyl Scratch The Dazzlings had hypnotized almost all the student body with their music, and all hope seemed lost. Until one girl who had avoided their entrancing song was discovered. DJ Pon-3 basically saved the school from total disaster. And no-one seemed to give her the appreciation that the headphones wearing, almost entirely silent girl deserved. Maybe she missed quite a lot while listening to the wubs, but still. Wub, wub, wub wub Come one come two come all My BASS CAR hears the call, I'm a very important girl to use I just saved Canterlot High? Dazzlings and Speakers, oh my, I'm a very important girl to use Apparently this group had hypnotized the school I had no clue what just went down, so was it totally cool? I'm a mongumentuous, consequencetuous very important girl to use Author's Note Based on My Little Pony: Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks I couldn't have typed it without the rower. (Guess what I've been watching lately)
211. Night-time's A Migraine(Note: Sung to the tune of Cars's "Life Is A Highway") Sung by Applebloom Applebloom wasn't entirely sure how to react when it turned out she was dreaming about her dreaming about her dreaming about her dream cutie mark. Sleeping on a problem sounded counterproductive after that... (Hmmm, yeah!) Life's like a load that is always there When mah cutie mark won't show up nowhere Drove mahself mad worryin' all day So big sis said to go hit the hay So then Ah turned in, then great stars above, And ah found mahself dreaming of Dreaming of dreaming of mah woe "Yo dawg, Ah heard you like..." ...well you know It was gettin' dumb Waking up three times then some There's not much for me to say, yeahea... Night-time's a migraine Ah woke up more tired than before But Ah know, okay Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure Through all these visions an' all these sights It's in mah brain, there's no end in sight From space to space, no relief to reach Princess Luna sure knows how to teach... From twittermites to some bottled stuff Then something else, got DISOWNED, that's rough Knock me down, an' back up again It's in mah head Ah'm circlin' round and round When Ah dream IN a dream It's just weird, this Ah know She'll be there when the light comes in The Nightsky Princess's hidin' Night-time's a migraine Ah woke up more tired than before But Ah know, okay Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure (yes, Ah'm sure) (Ah...help me, help me, help me, help me, yeah!) Night-time's a migraine Ah woke up more tired than before (Hmmmmm, yeah!) But Ah know, okay (you're goin' my way) Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure (yes, Ah'm sure) There was a meeting between CMC (between CMC) They all had nightmares like mine, Wonder what strange stuff they had seen...? Ooooohh, yeah! (Mmmm, yeah Ah, hm, hm, hm, hm) When Ah dream IN a dream It's just weird, this Ah know She'll be there when the light comes in The Nightsky Princess's hidin' Night-time's a migraine Ah woke up more tired than before (all night longer) But Ah know, okay Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure (Ah,...help me, help me, help me, Help me, help me, yeah!) Night-time's a migraine (Night-time's a migraine) Ah woke up more tired than before (Ooooo, yeah) But Ah know, okay (Ah know, okay) Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure (yes, Ah'm sure, yeah) (C'mon! Ah...help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, yeah!) Night-time's a migraine Ah woke up more tired than before (yeah, ah woke up more tired than before, dangit) But Ah know, okay (Ah know, okay) Well, it was for mah own good, Ah'm sure (yes, Ah'm sure) Author's Note As requested by RemixHero Based on the episode "Bloom And Gloom"
213. Pong(Note: Sung to the tune of Cinderella (2015)'s "Strong") Sung by Button Mash Button Mash turned on the new videogame system his mom had in her youth, eager to see what sort of games she played back then. Nothing happened for about 10 seconds. Button then nudged one of the control sticks, which kick-started the game. A few seconds later something on the screen happened, and Button was promptly met with a Game Over screen. "...I don't get it." In a perfect videogame, the playstyle's tight and sweet A hero's in your hooves, a saga will follow But Pongs’s a different game (how do I win again?) Guess I'll figure it all out tomorrow Where's the tutorial screen? And the shoulder pads aren't seen Nudging the stick and I don't get an intro or something No player icon, and there's no storyline or something I believe I don't know how To play Pong I don't get why Mom would see why this thing's meant for me Too much simplicity, and I lost somehow... I'd like an instruction book No time flat was all it took Nudging the stick and I don't get an intro or something No player icon, and there's no storyline or something I believe I don't know how To play Pong 3 seconds in, I'm dead? Play Dark Foals 2 instead Yeah.. Nudging the stick and I don't get an intro or something No player icon, and there's no storyline or something I believe I don't know how To play Pong Author's Note Based on JanAnimation's "Button Adventures".
216. One Last Nope(Note: Sung to the tune of Hercules's "One Last Hope") Sung by Applejack and Big Macintosh Applejack demanded an explanation from Big Macintosh as to why Fluttershy was being made to sing in a surprisingly lower tenor than usual behind the scenes. But that would have involved a lot of effort to speak on Macintosh's part, so Applejack decided to just try and piece it together. So, ya wanted to do turkey calls? Well, whoop-dee-doo! Cause your barnyard noises almost cost the Pony Tones quartet crew! And ya had to fix your singing chorus So ya went down to Zecora's To go get a potion Some sorta soothin' lotion, something to chug down or just to sup, Does that just about sum it up? ... ... Eeyup! And Zecora said it wouldn't heal by that night? Ah'm sure that musta gave ya an awful fright? Your voice was a goner And Pony Tones's honour Was fast walkin' yonder? ...Eeyup, that's it exactly. Then what happened next, it didn't come quick enough? And so you needed to think of more drastic stuff? Some Poison Joke flowers That lasted for hours For Flutterguy's powers? ...Eeyup, sounds 'bout right. Ain't sayin' one last "Nope" and Ah say it's true, We pulled in Fluttershy to fill up the crew We were short a singer She were scared to sing too, We said one last "Nope" and we put her through Pulled a shill on Ponyville? But ya reckon yer better now? Here Ah am about ta sum up all that to the letter now! It started with turkey calls, then Zecora's hut She then offered to make a potion fer you but You then made Flutterguy To get set by tonight And now ya feel alright? ...Corn's sake. Now that's more like it! She was yer one last shot and yer last showboat? Despite her stage fright, she done sing all the notes? Ah just can't imagine... She'd fall down and cry! Gotta go get back! Welp, sorry there, big bro Mac Ah'll say one last "Nope" and go save Fluttershy! Author's Note Based on the episode "Filli Vanilli"
220. Don't Run Repeats(Note: Sung to the tune of Let It Shine's "Don't Run Away") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... A Saturday without ponies when there ought to be ponies is no Saturday at all. This is especially bad for a writer bound by the laws of release dates such as I. Yeah, yeah, yeah The schedule's crazy, I'm foaming at the mouth, Like I've a case of rabies. You know what isn't out? No episode this morning, Pushed to next Saturday, It gets me in the heart! Why must it be this way!? This is more than a joke, More than a crime, crime More than a sin, Baby I can't wait next time And I ain't giving up This is more than a joke, More than a crime, crime More than a sin, Baby I can't wait next time And I ain't giving up Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Shawty you got tricks I can't get my pony fix I know you know The whole world is watching this, so Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Uh, they say next week will be When it's on television It's like my favourite movie I'm sitting and wishin' At ten thirty this morning I'd be makin' it my mission To watch the show, blog about it later Eyes on the first edition This is more than a joke, More than a crime, crime More than a sin, Baby I can't wait next time And I ain't giving up This is more than a joke, More than a crime, crime More than a sin, Baby I can't wait next time And I ain't giving up Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Shawty you got tricks I can't get my pony fix I know you know The whole world is watching this, so Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Normally I couldn't face the day Without my promised dose of po-nay What's the deal? Why delay? Why did it not broadcast today!? There's more than meets the eye Girl you curl right up and cry, Curse this insidious plot Letting broadcasters call the shots! Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime Shawty you got tricks I can't get my pony fix I know you know The whole world is watching this, so Don't run repeats Don't run repeats to fill time 'Cause I won't watch Transformers Prime
221. A Jar Is Born(Note: Sung to the tune of Hercules's "A Star is Born") Sung by Hughbert Jellius Hughbert Jellius's job of testing the highest quality gellatin may have been a bit more appreciated if everypony else just wasn't so weirded out by him. It could be perhaps his jam love is too broad. It could be the way he smears jam on his bod. But I think that the most likely reason of all Is his "U Jelly?" face which does naught but appall. I'm a huge expert on gelatin A jar is born Gonna find some jam for rolling in A jar is born Honey, smother me in strawb'ry sauce Some find it weird of course Girl, jelly tubs Do toot my horn A jar is born When I test the jelly's quality A jar is born Be it lemon, lime or raspberry A jar is born I shall bathe myself in sticky stuff It's a job, ain't that enough? Oh please don't be Disturbed by me So don't judge me with your scorn Just keep your eyes upon your pies Every night a jar is Right in sight a jar is If made right a jar is born I rub gello in my face and such A jar is born I enjoy my job a bit too much A jar is born I am happiest when rubbing sauce Across my tummy of course The bottom line This flavor's lime! My M.O.D is quite well worn My job's a must To much disgust Telling you a jar is born When I test the jelly's quality A jar is born Be it lemon, lime or raspberry A jar is born As I scrape my butt across the jam Forever alone, I am... Oh please don't be Disturbed by me So don't judge me with your scorn Just keep your eyes upon your pies Every night a jar is Right in sight a jar is If made right a jar is born Author's Note Based (VERY LOOSELY) on the episode "Hearts and Hooves Day"
224. The Ugly Bug Brawl(Note: Sung to the tune of Summer Magic's "The Ugly Bug Ball") Sung by Rarity Rarity didn't appreciate the fact that Pinkie had CLEARLY proclaimed "I'll save you!"...and then ran inside, grabbed a flute on the table, and ran away again. This cemented Pinkie as the worst knight in shining armor ever, until Rarity was brought up to speed. When the Parasprites came I sat and cried They were just eating everything up inside Every dress and every hat Gorging silk until they're fat I thought nopony would come to rescue me, Then who should I spot but hang on! It's Pinkie! Come to save me now, from the ruinous animal ugly bug brawl Come on let's crawl (gotta crawl gotta crawl) From the ugly bug brawl (from the brawl, from the brawl) And go save the town from ruin, warts and all from the ugly bug brawl She said "I'll save you!" and ran towards the swarm, It was playing out dramatic, true to form, And then I thought, WHAT THE HAY!? Why are you running away? Oh she ran past me and stole my only flute! And I watched her run right out the door, the brute! Got left all alone With bugs in my home And I screamed until it hurt Come on let's crawl (gotta crawl gotta crawl) From the ugly bug brawl (from the brawl, from the brawl) And go save the town from ruin, warts and all from the ugly bug brawl Found out later that it was part of the plan She'd bang drums and toot those horns until they scrammed Well, some context WOULD be nice! I'm just giving some advice Next time tell me what is going on 'round here So that I know there is nothing to fear But my poor boutique Lost its charm and chique Thanks to the ugly bug brawl... Come on let's crawl (gotta crawl gotta crawl) From the ugly bug brawl (from the brawl, from the brawl) And go save the town from ruin, warts and all from the ugly bug brawl! Author's Note Based on the episode "Swarm of the Century" The scream sold it for me.
226. Passed Away(Note: Sung to the tune of In Search Of The Castaways's "Castaway") Sung by Pinkie Pie "We found Arimaspi's skeleton at the bottom of Abysmal Abyss...it was sort of creepy. Well, I guess a fall, nothing but net, does that to a cyclops. He shuffled off his mortal coil. Did you know? It's a euphemism because I'm not actually meant to say the proper word because this is a show. You know, for kids? Ooh! I wonder how many ways to say "it" there are? He was pining for the fjords, he ceased to be, he kicked the bucket, he popped his clogs...what are clogs? I don't think ponies wear clogs but I bet it would be so neat if we did..." Passed away, passed away Rate it for kids You use euphemisms I can, and I did! Though all your words may not be understood If kids don't twig, To me, that's still all good! Passed away, passed away Can't say the word I cannot repeat what Grown-ups have heard But yeah, his skeleton obviously shows That Arimaspi's snuffed it, sure! Author's Note Based on the episode "The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone" JUNE THE THIRTEENTH!? WHY WOULD THIS EVEN
230. Crazy Countryside(Note: Sung to the tune of Fun And Fancy Free's "Lazy Countryside") Sung by Twilight Sparkle Twilight wondered if this was the side effect of living in a small rural town with nothing much in it, but after meeting a series of colourful characters with Spike, she could only conclude that everypony in Ponyville was either incompletely or genuinely completely insane. I came to Ponyville The crazy countryside, Where some pink nutjob found me I see these yokels fill The crazy countryside, Where Apple ponies hound me And I got soaked all the way down to my skin By some rainbow-maned slacker, where's she been...? And it's just too much for words As somepony brushes my curls I had good grounds to flee The crazy countryside But first, who's doing the music? I got sent out to see The crazy countryside For hours we stopped cruisin' She just yakked off the donkey's hind legs Pinkie's hot sauce made me cry It's just as I feared Yeah it's quiet, but weird...! In the crazy countryside Think the sticks have drove them all loony They're all bored out of their minds... First impression had? ALL stark raving mad! In the crazy countryside! Author's Note Based on the episode "The Mare In The Moon". Aaaaand suddenly my muse has all dried up. No seriously, I leave several reserve songs in a pinch but this time I really have nothing. So if I want to get even halfway there I need your suggestions, stat. Punch in a suggestion in the comments, no matter how obscure it may be
231. What Is A Bakery?(Note: Sung to the tune of Lady And The Tramp's "What Is A Baby?") Sung by Pinkie Pie I've been asked to advertise Sugarcube Corner. Apparently the logic is I am extremely cheap (as in free) owing to my lack of any sort of qualification to sponsor otherworldly businesses. Or any sort of business, frankly. So yeah. Whatever. Here's a song Pinkie asked me to post. Go visit Sugarcube Corner. What is a bakery? A place for pies and cakes Not talking 'bout the proper nouns,* It's the pastries we make! And sometimes alligators Eat your icing for fun... Wait, do YOU not have small reptiles? I thought they ALL had one... What is a bakery, anyway? Oh, what is a bakery Well find out for yourself Prices start at just two bits Off the shelf! Author's Note *("Me and my employers, if anypony asks what!") Yes, thank you, Pinkie. We get it.
232. Sweet Promotion(Note: Sung to the tune of Inside Out's "Sweet Emotion") Sung by Spike I've never ruled a small nation (except for that one time) but I would find having responsibility for a bunch of other subjects is bother some. So did Spike at first. Then he sort of got drunk with power. And then it got easy, if destructive. Sweet promotion Sweet promotion You talk about things and I just don't care And go take your noisy birdsong elsewhere You call Twilight's name but I gotta make clear While Twilight's napping, I'm head honcho 'round here Yeah yeah yeah yeah When some jerkface pony starts a jackhammer up Said, "Don't care if the pipe isn't all up to snuff!" Well I got bad news, Twilight needs her sleep So please shut your pie holes, not a sound or peep Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Sweet promotion Sweet promotion When you pull into town seeking her advice Note for the time being I'm not playing it nice You're telling me things but I must confess I'm the boss for a day because Twilight's at rest Yes she is You stand out the front and keep the noises down! I'll talk to you later, Twilight's totally run down So while Twilight's asleep, I'm princess for the day And I'm sure nothing bad could happen in any way... Author's Note Based on the episode "Princess Spike". Yes, I am aware I'm pulling a Flash Sentry and cheating with a non-original Disney Song, but it fit with the theme. Shut up.
235. Quesadilla Song(Note: Sung to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas's "Oogie Boogie's Song") Sung by Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie "It's NOT a fear! I just don't trust their excessive amounts of cheese is all! I've gotten over that!" You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my eyes Pinkie Pie spake I get the shakes Around such food! All lies! It's just I'm uneasy Around tortilla wraps That's stuffed with cheese in excess Is that what you mean, perhaps? When these here quesadillas show It brings up memories, I swear I've gotten better though Just don't mention them, please... There's just something about them That gives you cause to bolt About these cheese-based morsels From deepest Mexicolt Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh It's the quesadillas, man Well I'm just feelin' antsy And I swear that's all it is! I'm not scared of their vegetables Or what wrappings, so I says The cheese is what I don't like Oozing from their blanket rolls I just feel like they're JUDGING me They'll steal your very soul! Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Oh, yeah It's the quesadillas, man The file doesn't tell no lies They were total surprises, But I think that this goes beyond More than such massive sizes! You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my ears You gotta jest, to dare suggest I have such absurd fears! It's funny, I'm laughing You really are too much Such traumatizing memories I'm all over that stuff "What are you trying to say?" "Well, as long as you're playing therapist..." Oh, a fillyhood incident (It was labelled as such), Left me once frightened of them I will admit this much. I froze up at the merest sight Of cheesy, wrapped up chow, It took me weeks of therapy But I'm all better now! "I still think you unconsciously still fear them, Twilight!" Oh brother, you're somethin' You put me in a spin Part of me still believes That these cheese-wraps are a sin It's hopeless, they're evil But I've put that to rest Stay away from quesadillas And I won't get so distressed! Author's Note Based on the episode "Party Pooped" As requested by Awesomo3000
238. Who Has Laid These Books For Me?(Note: Sung to the tune of The Search For Santa Paws's "Who Will Sing My Song To Me?") Sung by Moon Dancer It was all Twilight could think of on the spur of the moment to get Moon Dancer to the party. Lure her with a trail of books. It was pretty transparent, which made it all the more amazing when it worked. A Brief History Of Life's Chemistry? The Canter-berry Tales? The Study of Whales? Who has laid these books for me? Who dropped all these books And got dirty looks? Oh well, more reads for me Back at the library! Who has laid these books for me? Who has laid these books for me? Now that Twilight's gone Author's Note Based on the episode "Amending Fences"
240. My Favorite Drink(Note: Sung to the tune of Fun and Fancy Free's "My Favorite Dream") Sung by Rainbow Dash She swears that she's not an alcoholic. You try Sweet Apple Acre's Cider and you'd come back for more too! It's my favorite drink Of Sweet Apple Acres cider My mouth opens wider Filled with favorite drink Yes, it is my favorite drink I don't need an intervention I don't have a problem (I think) But it's once a year that I gather the dimes It's a letdown, and it's a crime Pinkie beats me every time! And she buys up all my most favorite drink Look, to love that cider is nothing wrong I'm NOT addicted, I'm way more strong Hmm hmm hmm mmm mmm mmm... Hmm hmm hmm mmm mmm mmm... Author's Note Based on the episode "The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000"
241. Everything is Sappy(Note: Sung to the tune of Winnie the Pooh's "Everything is Honey") Sung by Rainbow Dash "Aren't we unbearably cute?" Sappy Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy, sappy Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy Sappy, sappy, sappy, sappy, Sappy, sappy, sappy Everything is awful Everywhere I see Everything is sappy It's too sickly sweet for me My awesome dream of changeling fights Was quite alright Why'd everything start off changing to A field of pansies singing a tune This soon Everything is sappy I want out of here I think, I think, I'll end up sick It's nauseating fear Oh, what a sight, oh, what a dream Mixing with softies makes me wanna scream Hanging with the cutesy Save me pretty please Wake me from my dream So that I can meltdown in peace Ooey and gooey and way too sweet It's the end's that got be beat At this rate I'll get diabetes From sickly sweet singing daisies Whoa 'Cause everywhere is sappy My dream went all sour Cos my changeling beating Got swapped for stupid flowers If everything is sappy And morning's still way off If I wake up all snappy Just pass the coffee pot... Author's Note Based on the episode "Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?" There were no magic sheep in this episode. It lied to me.
243. Animal-sity(Note: Sung to the tune of The Happiest Millionaire's "Fortuosity") Sung by Rainbow Dash Weren't rabbits supposed to be herbivores? Rainbow vaguely remembered from somewhere that animals could sometimes be opportunistic carnivores, but she still couldn't help but feel all the woodland critters NEEDED to eat her. Maybe her cutie mark gave her the wrong destiny... Well, now ain't this a horrible happenstance All the animals round a fire In a cooking pot am I With the critters building ire, 'Tis a job as an animal caretaker that I done messed up you see Today I move from zookeeper to breakfast, lunch and tea! Now you may call that luck and you may call it fortune But me, myself, I call it Animal-sity, that's my byword Animal-sity, the anger in their eye word Sometimes their nests fell to the ground And sometimes I knocked over the ant mounds Animal-sity, they're insulted All the critters rose up and they all revolted! They're all glaring with such ferocity The word that best describes them all is animal-sity Animal-sity, that's my trend word Animal-sity, my "I think it's the end" word 'Round the corner under a tree Was where these animals ambushed me... Animal-sity, they're insulted All the critters rose up and they all revolted! I'm freaking out 'cause as far as I see All up I'm tied, I'm gonna die from animal-sity! I'm freaking out 'cause as far as I see All up I'm tied, I'm gonna die from animal-sity! Author's Note Based on the episode "Magical Mystery Cure"
244. Party Even More (Guest Submission by Godslittleprincess)(Note: Sung to the tune of Descendants's "Rotten To The Core) Sung by Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich They say I'm random They say I'm mad They say I'm hyper And that makes me glad A party pony Down to the bone Bring on the fun I'm in the zone So I put some sugar In my food Can you blame me? I'm in a happy mood They think I'm funny A total clown I'm glad you noticed Pinkie and Cheese: Let's paint the town! Look into my crystal ball Who's the fun-est of them all? Welcome to my crazy world, crazy world Let's party even more, more Party even more Let's party even more, more Who could ask for more? I'm nothing like the ponies—ponies who are bores Let's party even more, let's party even more Let's party even more Call me a lame-o Call me a dweeb How can you say that? I'm just... carefree! What, don't bring streamers? Or party hats? Gee, that sounds dull What's up with that? So I'm a misfit I love to bake You want some frosting On that cake Let's have a blast That's what you get The truth is... Pinkie and Cheese: You ain't seen nothing yet! Look into my crystal ball Who's the fun-est of them all? Welcome to my crazy world, crazy world Pinkie and Cheese: Let's party even more, more Party even more Let's party even more, more Who could ask for more? I'm nothing like the ponies—ponies who are bores Let's party even more, let's party even more Let's party even more
223. Warp Away(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical 3's "Walk Away") Sung by Discord Okay, Tree Hugger was getting a little too friendly with Fluttershy at the Gala for his liking. Still, it wasn't anything that putting the weird hippy in another dimension couldn't fix! Probably. Oooooo, oooooo, ooooo I guess I should've known better Should have strong-armed Fluttershy (Fluttershy) Ooh The weird Tree Hugger hippy She chose HER over THIS guy!? ('Ver this guy) I tell myself this time It's different I'm sending her to Another world now I'll never survive Jealousy coming If she stays, oh no Just warp away, ooh And don't come back Cos if my heart breaks it's gonna Hurt so bad You know I'm strong But she's mine, all mine! Before it's too late Ooh, just warp away! Warp, warp, warp away, Ooh just warp away Warp, warp, warp away, Aye-aye yeah I really wish I could blame you But you know that it's all your fault (Oh yes) no no no no ooh A reality that's different But no sweat, you'll never get all lost (Get all lost) It's got a beach with sunny skies all day! And you'll be attended to...I think... But ignore the fact it's humid Cos it stinks... Oooh yeah! Just warp away, ooh And don't come back Cos if my heart breaks it's gonna Hurt so bad You know I'm strong But she's mine, all mine! Before it's too late Ooh, just warp away! Warp, warp, warp away, Ooh just warp away Warp, warp, warp away (Whoooa) Just warp away Once 'Shy's apologized (Ooh) Don't you worry I'll let you out Well, if I remember to... Well, it's not my loss, ADIOS! Just warp away, ooh And don't come back Cos if my heart breaks it's gonna Hurt so bad You know I'm strong But she's mine, all mine! Before it's too late Ooh, just warp away! (Warp, warp, warp away) Warp away warp away Yeeaah (Warp, warp, warp away) Warp away, warp away All right! (Warp, warp, warp away, yeah, warp away!) Warp away warp away (Oh warp warp warp away) Warp away, warp away Ooh, ooh Author's Note Based on the episode "Make New Friends But Keep Discord" And Princess Celestia just said, "Yeah, but it made the Gala funny."
201. Trixie And The Thief(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty And The Beast's "Beauty And The Beast") Sung by Babs Seed All Trixie had to do that night was make a diamond disappear while blindfolded and tied upside-down from a burning rope over a giant vat of pudding. She never expected to be accused of stealing the Ostlerheimer Diamond she was using to lure a notorious thief called Rough Diamond. Act as grand as heck True as it can be One Manehatten Night Lots of smoke and lights But then suddenly Didn't turn up soon There was no relief All of us were scared None of us prepared Trixie and the thief So we ran away We'd clear Trixie's name Rough Diamond was here So we'd make it clear She wasn't the same At the Art Museum We had got a tip She would steal a stone We staked out alone She gave us the slip But we hit some luck I spared us the grief Diamond's one o'the guys A cop in disguise Trixie and the thief Act as grand as heck Saved Trixie's respect Trixie and the thief Author's Note And here we go again! Told you I'd be back. NOTE: I probably won't make this as long as the first one owing to most of the ideas being covered there, but I will try to squeeze as much as I can out, enough for 100 chapters at the very least. So pitch your ideas to me, as always! Let's make 300 songs a thing! Based on the comics.
204. The Initial Equestria Girls Reaction In A Nutshell(Note: Sung to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas's "What's This?") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... Does anyone remember back in the year of 2013 when the first movie for Friendship is Magic revealed that the protagonists would be not pastel coloured ponies, but pastel coloured HUMANS? Reactions were somewhat divided. What's this? What's this? This doth offend my eyes! What's this? Anthropomorphic, guys! What's this? I can't believe that they Would dare stoop this low Look Hasbro, this isn't fair What's this? What's this? What's this? These dress-up dolls like Bratz What's this? They look like total prats What's this? If there's no ponies Then it must be awful Dressed in glitter and much makeup Indignation starts to shake up WHAT is this? What's this? There's no room for non-ponies In my heart, I don't think But the promo posters Would make good coasters for my drink It's such a blatant cash grab Oh, I can't believe my eyes Behind my back I know there are The furries standing by Oh, look What's this? It takes place in a school? Oh, god... This all seems rather cruel, But why!? Oh damn you, Meghan McCarthy It makes grown men want to cry What's this? What's this? We know It's centered 'round a dance, Oh no... It's totally going to have Cliches Including boyfriends, bullies, proms as well And Spike's a DOG, so LOL They look like folks I've only met In porn-based bits of internet This looks like tripe This looks like tripe There's way too much here on my dish! What's this? Oh my, what now? A trailer's been put out But look, They toned down garish clout And so, They don't make me want to hurl or cry out Tear my eyes out, I guess I could live with this For ninety minutes only What's this? I think I'll hedge my bets and Wait for die hard fans to go And once the DVD's released I'll go and see the show And if it doesn't suck I guess I could go press my luck Or it'll just make me Go throw myself towards a truck The fans' reviews They're everywhere and all Around Apparently it's just Okay This empty place inside of me is filling up I guess it didn't stink enough I'll buy it, oh, I'll buy it But before I up and go, I've got to know I've got to know What is this sequel I have found? WHAT IS THIS?
205. Conformist(Note: Sung to the tune of Enchanted's "True Love's Kiss") Sung by Starlight Glimmer It all started when Twilight's friends got called (by a map that sprung up in the middle of Twilight's Castle) to a village where everypony was basically the same. Down to the attitudes, and the cutie marks (taken away to be replaced with an equals sign). All of this was to conform to the frankly scary views on friendship by the town founder. When you meet somepony who should be your friend The two of you must make sure you don't bring that to an end! So to get past all the grief, And get past the tears and shame, Nopony feels like arguing if we're all the same! I have made a town of conformists All adhering to the things I list That's what brings everaftering so happy And I know difference just leads to fights, You'll just argue over wrong and right! Know your limits and you'll know true bliss Just blend in with all the conformists Aaaaa aaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaa aaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa I have made a town of conformists There's no Cutie Mark that I don't miss! That's what brings everaftering so happy (so happy) Be your best by never being your best, Roll with that and you'll pick up the rest! Know your limits and you'll know true bliss Just blend in with all the conformists! Author's Note Based on the episodes "Cutie Markless - Part 1 and 2" Fun fact: This was originally going to be called "Communist" but I don't know if she actually is. We only had like one meme to go on, after all.
210. Stand Still(Note: Sung to the tune of A Goofy Movie's "Stand Out") Sung by Fluttershy As all the animals in the Royal Garden went to absurd lengths to avoid Fluttershy, the yellow pegasus became angrier and angrier. Open up your eyes, take a look at me Please don't hide yourselves in the nearby trees I'm driven by the critters like the shark on a hunt And I won't stop until you start to stand still Gah, stand still! Some ponies settle for the typical thing Like the Wonderbolts, apple-carts and wings It ain't a question of if, just a matter of time Before you spring this critter-trap of mine Once you're touching up the net I laid out You gonna snare yourself, of this there's no doubt Just stand still For just one sec Or I wring your scrawny little necks 'Til all of you stop and stare and see, Gonna stand still, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME, yeah As I'm laying bait right all over the lawn (I'm totally staking out right from dusk until dawn) And I'll tie up all the snares, then when I'm all done The critters can't leave 'til I'm number one No method to the madness and no means of escape Gonna stop every bird, and trap them all using tape It ain't a question of how, just a matter of when My traps entangle all the garden critter friends Maybe this is fate, I'm in over my head, But I won't give up making them my friends, 'til the end Just stand still For just one sec Or I wring your scrawny little necks 'Til all of you stop and stare and see, Gonna stand still, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME, yeah If I could make you stop and take a look at me instead of just Runnin' scared There's nothin' that I wouldn't do And there's no length I wouldn't go to, I would dare All I need is half a mile of cotton rope, and bait sets up the trap Every bird or bug or swine Will be mine, mine, mine! Just stand still For just one sec Or I wring your scrawny little necks 'Til all of you stop and stare and see, Gonna stand still Stand still, hey Stand still! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Stand still! 'Til all of you stop and stare and see Gotta stand still YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME! Author's Note Based on the episode "The Best Night Ever" ATTENTION! The well of songs runneth dry and I need help having songs thrown at me as a muse! Submit your ideas via the usual procedure. Let's try and make the 300th song a thing!
212. The Strife I Freed(Note: Sung to the tune of Mary Poppins's "The Life I Lead") Sung by Twilight Sparkle To say that Twilight Sparkle did not have misgiving about freeing Discord from his stony prison would be untrue. But, orders from Princess Celestia were orders, so with all the Elements of Harmony together, she did. And then Discord announced he'd be living with Fluttershy... I feel a surge of deep apprehension Much as a Flim and Flam sales pitch indeed When he's released but on the bail from stony jail What madness is the strife I freed! The orders came precisely on schedule "Bust Discord out, reform him for me" I don't have a single clopping clue what she thinks he'll do I'm regretting the strife I freed! It stinks I had to use my crown and Elements To make Discord un-stoned; It's the world's worst end She's the lord of the castle The alpha of the pack! So WHAT THE HECK WAS PRINCESS CELESTIA THINKING WHEN SHE TOLD US ALL TO BRING HIM BACK!? It's 6:03 and the pages of my volumes Got torn straight out and went down Discord's throat Containing spells to force him straight From volumes four to eight! Oh Lordy, watch this strife I freed... Can Fluttershy really be a gen'ral? The future danger lies within her hooves But girls, the pony that we need can't just go concede As long Chaos lives under your roof! Equestria is run with precision But Discord has chosen with whom to room, Tradition, discipline, and rules must be the tools Without them - disorder! Catastrophe! Anarchy! - In short, I think our pal is doomed... Author's Note Based on the episode "Keep Calm and Flutter On"
214. Blow Up My Top(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical's "Bop To The Top") Sung by Rainbow Dash Under pain of hoof to the face, I must state in the plainest way possible that Rainbow Dash is definitely not angry that Tank has to nap for about 3 months. I believe I'm fine now, calm as calm can be Lady, to be totally frank, I'm FINE as you can see Kickin' and a bitin', blowin' off some steam Anything it takes to let you know I'm totally not angry Work my tail off every day I got told to bring the winter? Bite me, I should say! Get outta my face! I'm not gonna blow blow blow, blow up my top Push and pull and move that cloud round JUST EFF OFF, GO HOME YA FLOPS! ...Let's start again. Girls, just stop, else I'll just drop Does this face look ANGRY? Get outta my face til the music stops I won't blow blow, blow up my top My head won't pop, blow up my top Gimme gimme, shimmy shimmy Move that booty and turn around Walk in the other direction Move those muscles, start that hustle I'm not gonna blow blow blow, blow up my top Unless you trigger my frustrations Stomp, stomp, stomp to the rump This winter sucks! Chop, chop, chop, don't wanna stop Going for the cider... Tank's on borrowed time and I can't make it stop (Stop) And that just hacks me off! Blow up my top! Author's Note Based on the episode "Tanks For The Memories" Rainbow Dash is probably the Grinch.
215. Duckface(Note: Sung to the tunes of Ducktales's "Ducktales Theme") Sung by you...um...if that's alright with you... Memes, memes everywhere, capturing Rainbow Dash pulling a face so bizarre that is apparently deserves internet notoriety. And so, this ode is dedicated to the glory that is the highly expressive face of Rainbow Dash. Pony like a hurricane Here on TV, With a gift to pull faces Somewhat creepy... Like it came from Japan Or something from 4chan! Duckface! Woo-oo! Every week a meme is showing Duckface! Woo-oo! I WUB WOO is just a name for Duckface! Woo-oo! While it seems she's not very photogenic, And although it isn't so academic, A freeze-frame bonus On which we focus D-d-d-danger! Watch behind you! There's a hiatus to find you What to do, just find a JPEG Duckface! Duckface! Woo-oo! Every week a meme is showing Duckface! Woo-oo! Dash the Grinch or Smugdash or that Duckface! Woo-oo! D-d-d-danger! Watch behind you! There's a hiatus to find you What to do, just find a JPEG Duckface! Woo-oo! Every week a meme is showing Duckface! Woo-oo! I WUB WOO is just a name for Duckface! Woo-oo! Every week a meme is showing Duckface! Woo-oo! Angry face or Dash the Grinch or Duckface! Woo-oo! Not normal face or ugly face, no, Duckface! Woo-oo! Author's Note I had to. Sorry.
217. Things Are Not Where They Appear(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas II: Journey To The New World's "Things Are Not What They Appear") Sung by The Mayor of Appleloosa This is a public service announcement from the Mayor of Appleloosa "I am Mayor of Appleloosa, and keeper of the law in small town. Yes, is not much to see, but Appleloosa is still very charming village in own way. But recently many tourists are coming to town to see 'famous apple family' or other things. Looking for AppleOOSA. I cannot help you with apple family or buffalo or whatever else you think we have here! So on behalf of the citizens of Appleloosa, I will say this; for buffalos, Apple Family and pomme-related events, visit AppleOOSA. All other tourists are to PLEASE visit AppleLOOSA. Simples." Things are not where they appear As the town will make quite clear It's not the town you know you see Saturday morning draws near Things are never what they seem In the town, apple's the theme But please don't spell that missing L Or else you'll go elsewhere, I scream You'll be surprised. There's no apples, guys You are thinking of AppleOOSA! There's a twin town whose name is wrote down As AppleLOOSA, so close, yet so far! So before you ask about cider flasks Or Applebuck Season, 'Kay? 'Kay! If you ought to know, after E, it's O Appleoosa's where you've stayed! Yay! AppleLOOSA, dear, wants to make it all clear Nowhere near Ponyville, guys They cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, Why? Things are not where they appear And the finest proof's right here Nothing's the same, 'cept for the name The rest is like 'far' and 'near'! Please proofread your map, they say It should save yourself a day The one with no L's near Ponyville While the other's a trek away! Clueless and wild They just get all riled As the tourists all ask for Braeburn... Whoopsie, I thought This faux pas they wrought Was the same as my own, what a burn! Things are never what they seem I'm right, I'm right! Two towns get mixed up, you see I'm right, I'm right! So if you go, make sure you KNOW The town of apple dreams So I'll go make something clear Things are not where they appear! Author's Note Based on the episode "Appleoosa's Most Wanted" I swear it did used to be spelled that way. Wasn't it?
218. Derpy (Guest Submission by Rubbaduckwolf)(Note: Sung to the tune of Tinker Belle and the Legend of the Neverbeast's "Strange Sights) Sung by Time Turner Derpy You drop all my stuff Your eyes are all skewed But I don’t really care Weird How you make me so smitten So come in the TARDIS with me My muffins are gone You blame it on Bon Bon I still don’t give a crap It’s you that I care for Weird How you stand up to Daleks So come in the TARDIS with me Do you want to adventure with me I’m British and I drink all the tea Come on in, on a whim Don’t hold back, fall into my hooves I’m the Doctor, you know You are so clumsy With all sorts of blunders Still I see your wonder And I hug you, too Weird How your eyes don’t distract me So come in the TARDIS with me Do you want to adventure with me I’m British and I drink all the tea Come on in, on a whim Don’t hold back, fall into my hooves I’m the Doctor, you know If you don’t know what to do, then come with me Adventure through time/space, around and around If you see my hoof, then wonders abound ‘Cause I need some company Do you want to adventure with me I’m British and I drink all the tea Come on in, on a whim Don’t hold back, fall into my hooves I’m the Doctor, you know Do you want to adventure with me I’m British and I drink all the tea Come on in, on a whim Don’t hold back, fall into my hooves I’m the Doctor, you know You're not alone
219. What Is That Bat?(Note: Sung to the tune of The Happiest's Millionaire's "What's Wrong With That?") Sung by Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy Even after the vampire fruitbats had been removed from Applejack's farm, the orchards were apparently still being raided. They had expected to see straggling fruit bats attacking the apples during the stakeout. What Twilight and the others didn't expect was to see Fluttershy sitting in a tree, hissing at them and sucking an apple totally dry. Ah've been doin' a stakeout And Ah spy up ahead! It could be a fruit bat Catchin' mah eye! It's up hanging in the orchard...and it's lookin' at me Oh buck me in the face, that there's Fluttershy! What's wrong with that? What is that bat? A pony sporting two sharp fangs, What's with that bat!? I can see Fluttershy there, An apple in her hooves, But why's she suckin' it dry, yeah, what's the biz? So come on down Fluttershy, and just can the act, ya... HIIIIIISSSSSS! ...Yeah, on second thoughts, I'll leave her where she is... What's wrong with that? What is that bat? Pinkie thinks it'll eat us all What's with that bat!? Here on this farm I'm watchin' Three acres of mah bumper crop Where are they now? In the stomach of Flutterbat! And all Ah can ask is why? Did Twilight's spell go way awry? All in vain Ohh, the pain! Ah believe this is awful! I believe it's total crock! I don't think she'll respond by saying please! Ah believe it's gone to pieces, mah best friend's totally rogue What could drive the gal to feast upon mah trees? What's wrong with that? What is that bat? Cos Fluttershy's a batpony. Why? What's with that bat!? Author's Note Based on the episode "Bats!"
222. The Boring Report(Note: Sung to the tune of The Lion King's "The Morning Report") Sung by Rainbow Dash Under Twilight Sparkle's careful tutelage, Rainbow tried to write an essay on the Wonderbolts. It didn't really go anywhere, sadly. Something something dates, just gotta memorize it all Twilight does remember, though just HOW I can't recall Wonderbolts were founded in...oh I'll make something up This essay's less exciting than just fiddling with this cup I think that General Firefly had a mark in flight or fire...? Imagine how it would have been if she cooked round a frier! This is the boring report I know that it's rather short Writing essays? Abort! It's way duller than sport That's the boring report Apparently I must explain the core philosophy Of every single member to remain a nominee! I'm doodling in the book, making Twilight look just giant Cos it's boring and it's stupid, so I'm not compliant Memorizing members by their age and name and rank? I'd rather be shoving a huge cactus up my flank! This is the boring report I know that it's rather short Writing essays? Abort! It's way duller than sport That's the boring report. Author's Note Based on the episode "Testing, Testing, 1 2 3"
225. Never Knew My Costume(Note: Sung to the tune of The Princess And The Frog's "Never Knew I Needed") Sung by Twilight Sparkle A blue cape with stars, a matching hat with bells on, a fake beard, and Twilight Sparkle felt that it should have been obvious who she was dressing up as for Nightmare Night. Or at the very least WHAT she was. "With that beard, I reckon you're some sorta country music singer," Applejack hazarded a guess. Or not, Twilight thought irritably. For the way you see my suit For being the perfect reflection For the way I made the outfit that I have With everything that I wanted to have They all should see that I'm dressed as Starswirl, oh yeah For the way Spike thought I looked retired (Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah, yeah) And for the way no-one among my friends (Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah) Didn't see I'm NOT dressed as a weirdo clown! But at the same time, I'll just walk all over town And hope nopony makes the same mistake again... It's the worst thing, they never knew my costume Not a single pony had an idea That's the worst thing, they never knew my costume It should be so clear, I'm dressed as a wizard! But that's not all, guess what? So sometime after Applejack made a suggestion that was somehow dafter I must admit (guess what I was mistaken for?) A country-music singer!? I fell on the floor Go read your unicorn history! EVERY chapter! It's the worst thing, they never knew my costume Not a single pony had an idea (I'm CRYING here) That's the worst thing, they never knew my costume (I am Starswirl) It should be so clear, I'm dressed as a wizard! (It should be so clear) Who knew that I would be (Who knew that I would be) The wrong identity (The wrong identity) Undeniably angrier Cape and beard and hat here, I'm obviously Starswirl the Bearded! It's the worst thing, they never knew my costume (I'm a WIZARD!) Not a single pony had an idea (While I was here) (Said they had no idea) That's the worst thing, they never knew my costume (Come on, ponies!) It should be so clear, I'm dressed as a wizard! (It should be clear) (So clear, so clear, I'm dressed as a wizard) It should be so clear, I'M DRESSED AS A WIZARD! Author's Note Based on the episode "Luna Eclipsed"
227. I Sew Things Now(Note: Sung to the tune of Into The Woods's "I Know Things Now") Sung by Applejack The Carousel Boutique was failing, no matter how Applejack saw it. The dresses she was making were simply not good enough for the big market. But that's exactly what Applejack had been doing her whole life. She must have at least gotten the hang of it! ...Right? Mah mark said, "Make a dress" Knock somethin' up, But it's a mess! Ah just can't make it Frou-frou none... It's what Ah always done! Shoulda seen some things, Many beautiful things, But Ah can't recall what they were... Ah can't help but think, Did Ah do somethin' else? Naw, Ah can't have done Mah life's dresses and belts! But it sorta feels depressing- Well, depressing and bleak. When Ah stitch this dress Like Ah'm under duress How could Ah know that it looks bad? Gotta eat next week, Money-wise, it's bleak... Well, depressing and bleak. So Ah work mah flank And Ah wonder perhaps, Is mah true destiny Somethin' involvin' a farm...or maybe not...? Because everything familiar Seemed to draw a blank forever, At the end of the day Sewin' machine's broke again! But mah cutie mark says Ah've always done this since mah birth, So then why does everything, Look just way plain and drab? Yet Ah sew things now, Many valuable things, Tryin' not to lose the store... Ah'm losin' mah faith Cos yah know what Ah think? The life Ah selected It totally stinks! Cos mah work's too plain for parties, And Ah don't believe in arty And though all mah work is functional That there's different than "good". But Ah know: You should to, Mah mark says, It's what Ah do. Why do Ah suck, but sew a lot? Like mah destiny's not... Author's Note Based on the episode "Magical Mystery Cure" As (sort of) requested by Ugly-Duckling123
228. Respect Isn't Easy(Note: Sung to the tune of Oliver and Company's "Perfect Isn't Easy") Sung by Diamond Tiara So many ponies at school formed a lot of opinions about Diamond Tiara, which she found rather hurtful. They simply didn't understand. Why didn't they understand...that she actually WAS better than them? So it was easier simply not to even try to identify with them. Unless it was for her dad. Girl, I've got more than you Money and objects too Respect isn't easy But it's me When you know my family's richer One does what one must My house is bigger than your house I don't come AFTER you, my ride is faster too My cutie mark, a pose! What have YOU got to show, huh? Sometimes it's too much For even me! But when all the bits says, "Yes" We don't care if you say "No"! My dad could buy some guy's tiny business And tell the swine to go! When I must rest my head I've a princess-sized bed La dee da da My greatness becomes me, n'est-ce pas? Unrivaled, unruffled I'm riches unleashed, yeah I drag moneybags I'm stating this clearly - you're all worse off than me! Though many covet my pride and wealth They're barking up the wrong tree Well, you can't have them, lassie and laddy, Your parents don't have jack on my daddy! Compared to me you're just A simple rat! Respect, my dears? What's that?
229. 100 Shows(Note: Sung to the tune of Tinker Bell and the Legend of the Neverbeast's "1000 Years") Sung by Brony_of_Brody Man, the pony community has come a long way, has it not! So what better way to celebrate than with this flash of inspiration that sort of came together at the last minute, although don't tell anyone, I'm more professional than that... A hundred shows is a long, long time Even for a Hasbro property Derpy mixed up dates Went to Doctor Hooves Who was drinking out a straw that's swizzle-y In a hundred shows We look for background ponies high and low So peel your eyes, my dear Knowing that bronies would (somehow) Last one hundred shows And Letrotski, bowl your ball straight please Amethyst Star's planning it all Lyra Heartstrings finds Sweetie Drop's a spy, Oh and Stephen Magnet stands up tall. In a hundred shows We look for background ponies high and low So peel your eyes, my dear Knowing that bronies would (somehow) Last one hundred shows And Vinyl Scratch jams with Octavia, a match Cello dubstep, Oh no, they'll be late for prep! To the DUBMOBILE Bass on Wheels! In a hundred shows Gummy's existential crisis? No! In a hundred shows, oh So peel your eyes, my dear Knowing that bronies would (somehow) Last one hundred shows Author's Note Based on the episode "Slice of Life" I cannot believe LYRA'S the normal one in the relationship. Or maybe they're both equally weird and that's why it works anyway
233. Gotta Floss My Donkey(Note: Sung to the tune of High School Musical 2's "Gotta Go My Own Way") Sung by Rarity and Fancy Pants Trying to juggle between Twilight's birthday party and another garden party, Rarity was fast running out of plausible excuses to be absent for a few moments, to a point where they got ridiculous. To her surprise, everypony still believed her. Trusting souls, or upper class twits? Rarity couldn't decide. I gotta somehow get away Something about me Needing to leave the room... 'Scuse me, I'll be back soon I need to adjust my makeup now I'll stick around, okay? It’s so hard to say But I gotta juggle two events What the hay...? I’ve got to head back and go do that thing With the stuff and the um... The whatchamacallit...? I shouldn't take long, go on without me But at least for now I gotta floss my donkey (my donkey) Don’t wanna leave my friends behind So I'm in both places And I have to think every time Another excuse, saving faces Excuse me, I need to paint my dog I'll stick around, okay? It’s so hard to say Wait a mo, my cupboard needs a trim... What the hay...? I’ve got to head back and go do that thing With the stuff and the um... The whatchamacallit...? I shouldn't take long, go on without me But at least for now I gotta floss my donkey (my donkey) What about you? Talk about everything you're up to... Can I be excused...? Of course, do whatever concerns you... I shouldn't take long What are you supposed to do? I gotta prep something outside... ...We ARE outside... I’ve got to head back and go do that thing With the stuff and the um... The whatchamacallit...? I shouldn't take long, go on without me But at least for now I gotta floss my donkey (my donkey) I’ve got to head back and go do that thing With the stuff and the um... The whatchamacallit...? I shouldn't take long, go on without me But at least for now I gotta floss my donkey I gotta floss my donkey I gotta floss my donkey Author's Note Based on the episode "Sweet And Elite"
234. Tragic Postal Guy(Note: Sung to the tune of Home On The Range's "Magic Carpet Ride") Sung by Parcel Post Parcel Post felt that the purple unicorn could have at least politely told him that the party inside was for somepony else... Oh well. At least the pink pony gave him a cake. I like to dream yes, yes, right between my rounds you see I see party stuff to left and to right They could know, you know, they might My birthday date, then the door slammed in my face... Well, your bluntness was way unkind Why don't you break the news to me gently, girl To this tragic postal guy Before it all got to me I got cake from the pink pony It was fine to some degree What the heck, girl? Wait a sec, girl Then I got sent on my way The principle's what matters here, They may not know it was today But Sparklebutt just slammed the door Well, she made it clear to go away It's rather rude, you could have simply told me, dude... Well, your bluntness was way unkind Why don't you break the news to me gently, girl To this tragic postal guy Before it all got to me I got cake from the pink pony It was fine to some degree What the heck, girl? Wait a sec, girl Then I got sent on my way Author's Note Based on the episode "The Last Roundup"
236. Two Stares(Note: Sung to the tune of Camp Rock's "Two Stars") Sung by Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo Testament to Fluttershy's hidden superpony: this mare can win a staring contest with a cockatrice. Others say she could catch Rainbow Dash towing a heavy balloon if she wanted to but that's just silly. Wake up With Fluttershy, her eyes will leave ya cold Stares deep into yer soul She'd make even a basilisk want to curl up an' cry Nopony knows why She breaks your spirit in only seconds Look at her, look at me She beat a cockatrice, can't you see? She stood up alone, and turned us back from stone And we believe that 2 stares are worse-er than one C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at her C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at me Listen Don't play her in a staring contest cos we fear You'd burst into tears, just give in 'Cuz looking in her eyes will make you totally tame, it's sort of lame For all the wild mares, don't fight it, just don't try Look at her, look at me She beat a cockatrice, can't you see? Stared it in the face, that pressure takes first place And we believe that 2 stares are worse-er than one C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at her C'mon, c'mon, c'mon It was too much for us, that chicken's eyes hit, oh... Twilight, she just got taken for granite And that's not how she oughta be Look at her, look at me She beat a cockatrice, can't you see? Death glare trumped by none, it beats -out everyone And we believe that 2 stares are worse-er than one Look at her, look at me She beat a cockatrice, can't you see? You'll be short of breath, like you just gazed at death And we believe that 2 stares are worse-er than one C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at her C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at me C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at her C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, look at me
237. Apathy(Note: Sung to the tune of Into The Woods's "Agony") Sung by Octavia and Lyra Heartstrings When Mayor Mare announced to the citizens of Ponyville that a monster was attacking and that everypony should stay in their homes while Princess Twilight and her friends sorted it out, some panicked. The savvier ones shrugged, and cancelled dinner with friends for the day. "I don't mind the monsters, really," remarked Bon-Bon. "All the attacks give us a good chance to do a bit of screaming and running around. Good exercise." Vinyl Scratch added, "It's great! The last one demolished my house! So I got to redecorate it, one half for me, one half for Tavi! Didn't even need to clean it!" "And when it's all over we get together as a community and rebuild, then have a picnic out in the town square," said Cloudchaser. "Gotta love those." Another crisis, Besieging the town, The third attack this week... The Mayor's advice is Some things will go down, Seal all doors and cracks this week. Apathy...! While I'm staying indoors, I'll fix Vinyl's machine, And play cello to while 'way the hours. Monster rampages? Been meaning for ages, To redecorate... The work would be tiring, It saves me from hiring Somepony, it's great! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah- Apathy! We could scream and run rings, An attack is good exercise Among other things... Apathy! Oh, it's monsters again... It's dinner at home then, I'm working alone then, Curled up in our den Is this not farcical, Routine, Ill-mannered, Annoying, Inconvenient, Tiring, Ill-timed like hay fever A wrench in the plans? I was going to go bowling today! And I was- Were you now? -'bout to catch a train! At least all who are outside Will be chased everywhere Fills the lungs with fresh air, And it's bringing jobs, To the construction mobs... Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah- Apathy? Works for me! Though... Then when monster's all been, Have a picnic outside- And go rebuild the town- All right out on the green. Apathy We don't panic no more! It's just not worth the chore. Author's Note Based (loosely) on the episode "Slice of Life"
239. Looking for Boulder(Note: Sung to the tune of Bambi's "Looking for Romance") Sung by Rainbow Dash Boulder was in Maud's pocket the whole time. Rainbow was rather salty about it after spending several hours looking. Camouflage was truly the worst game ever. She brings us a rock And we play Camouflage Like Hide and Seek but large And it's way more intense She brings us a rock Boulder hides and we seek Could have taken a week Searching amidst the grit I'm seeking that stone Like a pin in a pin factory How the heck are we supposed to see Where that stupid rock's lyin'? I'm seeking that stone And guess what!? When the game was complete She showed it was in her pocket pleat Well that's dung! and YOU'RE dung and I'M dung for even tryin'... She brings us a rock We thought it's on the floor... And all along, Maud held onto that stone It stayed in her coat and it gets on my goat! This game was just dumb and I vote that we just go home... She brings us a rock Camouflage is Worst Game It's true Author's Note Based on the episode "Maud Pie"
242. It Feels Like Chaos(Note: Sung to the tune of The Muppet Christmas Carol's "It Feels Like Christmas") Sung by Twilight Sparkle When Twilight woke up that morning to see animals with stilt legs and chocolate rain, a physical embodiment of chaos wasn't the reason she thought of first. There certainly wasn't denying one thing though. It was definitely chaotic. It's in the raising of a street pony's ire, Is that the reason someone's house is on fire? It's true, wherever you find him It feels like Chaos A cup of chocolate that fell down from the heavens Chocolate rain all the way up to eleven In all the places you find him It feels like Chaos It is a huge catastrophe As we all stopped for staring At candy clouds all day, It is the season of the spirit The message, if we hear it Is "CHAOS RULEZ OK" It's in the popcorn trees that we get all bothered We must do something 'fore the town is all smothered It's all the ways that he has fun That feel like Chaos A part of this day that'll always stay with me Critters with legs that were as tall as a tree Yes, when I look at all around It feels like Chaos It is a huge catastrophe As we all stopped for staring At candy clouds all day, It is the season of the spirit The message, if we hear it Is "CHAOS RULEZ OK" It's in the raising of a street pony's ire, Is that the reason someone's house is on fire? It's true, wherever you find him It feels like Chaos It's true, wherever you find him It feels like Chaos It feels like Chaos It feels like Chaos
245. Sign These(Note: Sung to the tune of Moana's "Shiny") Sung by Rainbow Dash Daring Do could only stare in bewilderment as Rainbow dragged what could only be described as an enormous cart of merchandise up to the booth for autographs. After Quibble Pants followed suit, she decided she needed to lay low from cons for a while and find a nice, relaxing, death-trap-filled tomb. Well, merchandise hasn't always been this mint I was a drab little fan once Now I know your signature's worth ALL the bits Because I'm your biggest fan, DD Did you sign all my coffee mugs and mats? Sign all the books on the inside? I need these ones on paper, for Ebray, stat Hope ya don't mind I need you to sign these Like a contract from a lawyer's C&D All for me, and later on Sign these All my books and all my plushies, as you please If ya please Don't you know I got stacks, stacks, stacks I got your books, first edition In addition... Oh, and off the racks, racks, racks, Got t-shirts and vinyl figures Aaaand my slippers I just love your books, And your courage and looks Well, well, well Daring Do's got body pillows, three booths down You little god of archeologists Wait! I'll go buy two then come back here By the book! (Get it?) Ahuizotl's got nothin' on you, man Wait! I have to give you all my house keyrings, And all my stuff that's still outside For times like these I bought myself all sorts of things, And I'm still gonna need you to Sign these Saying that I'm just too obsessed is not enough All my stuff, my luck is so Lucky Trading cards and bobble heads and other stuff All autographed, here please Can you try, try, try To make the messages personal For the stuff I won't sell (to the fans) I could cry, cry, cry For not finding out about Daring Do All, all that soon Far from the last of my merchandise, Signing the life of Adventures that made you so famous, Trying to be polite, But I just can't contain all the hype Hoo-wee! Can you see the rest behind me? Think I'm holding the queue, so Sign these And I don't think it's the last you'll ever see Sign my three backpacks please, and then Sign these Pen dispensers and a toaster right here please... Just for me I'm gonna need you to sign these Your autographs here, so sign please Author's Note As requested by Starlight Nova Based on the episode "Stranger than Fan Fiction"
