(Note: Sung to the tune of Into The Woods's "Agony")

Sung by Octavia and Lyra Heartstrings

When Mayor Mare announced to the citizens of Ponyville that a monster was attacking and that everypony should stay in their homes while Princess Twilight and her friends sorted it out, some panicked.

The savvier ones shrugged, and cancelled dinner with friends for the day.

"I don't mind the monsters, really," remarked Bon-Bon. "All the attacks give us a good chance to do a bit of screaming and running around. Good exercise."

Vinyl Scratch added, "It's great! The last one demolished my house! So I got to redecorate it, one half for me, one half for Tavi! Didn't even need to clean it!"

"And when it's all over we get together as a community and rebuild, then have a picnic out in the town square," said Cloudchaser. "Gotta love those."

Another crisis,
Besieging the town,
The third attack this week...
The Mayor's advice is
Some things will go down,
Seal all doors and cracks this week.

Apathy...!
While I'm staying indoors,
I'll fix Vinyl's machine,
And play cello to while 'way the hours.

Monster rampages?
Been meaning for ages,
To redecorate...
The work would be tiring,
It saves me from hiring
Somepony, it's great!
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-

Apathy!
We could scream and run rings,
An attack is good exercise
Among other things...

Apathy!
Oh, it's monsters again...
It's dinner at home then,
I'm working alone then,
Curled up in our den

Is this not farcical,
Routine,
Ill-mannered,
Annoying,
Inconvenient,
Tiring,
Ill-timed like hay fever
A wrench in the plans?

I was going to go bowling today!
And I was-
Were you now?
-'bout to catch a train!

At least all who are outside
Will be chased everywhere
Fills the lungs with fresh air,
And it's bringing jobs,
To the construction mobs...
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-

Apathy?
Works for me! Though...
Then when monster's all been,
Have a picnic outside-
And go rebuild the town-
All right out on the green.
Apathy
We don't panic no more!

It's just not worth the chore.

Author's Note

Based (loosely) on the episode "Slice of Life"