King Sombra's Greatest Weakness

by Bucking Nonsense

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, King Sombra, Crystal Ponies, Fluttershy, Random, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 5357

King Sombra survived the power of the Crystal Heart, and for a moment, it seemed as if his victory was assured. And then...

King Sombra survived the power of the Crystal Heart, and for a moment, it seemed as if his victory was assured. And then something unexpected happened...

He stepped on a nail.

CRACK FIC!!!

Published 2014-09-15 06:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-23 01:49:44 UTC

Achille's Hoof

"Did you truly think that would be sufficient to stop me?"

Sombra chuckled wickedly at the looks of stunned disbelief on the faces of his crystal slaves... to say nothing of that pink princess, that knight, and those six interlopers (Seven, if you counted that meddling dragon). They truly thought that the Crystal Heart could stop him? If the relic had served as an anathema to him, then why would the tyrant not have destroyed it immediately? In fact, how could he have stolen it in the first place?

True, the addition of an alicorn's power had been disquieting, but rather than simply staring at the events transpiring before him like a dunce, Sombra had used the seconds between the Crystal Heart's retrieval and the unleashing of its full power to infuse his armor with sufficient energy to allow him to withstand the blast. True, the blast wave had knocked all of his armor off, but it was well worth it: The despair that his subjects now felt, seeing their invincible master standing triumphant before them, was quickly ensuring that they would not have enough hope left within them for a second attempt, and the pink alicorn was far too drained to fight any further.

Victory was his! Soon, so would vengeance. Yes... sweet, delicious, munchy-crunchy vengeance. Celestia would pay, as would Luna, for imprisoning him for a thousand years. First things, first, though: He would put an end to these meddlers, once and for all. King Sombra stepped forward, preparing a spell that would blast the entire lot of them into subatomic particles, and...

Twilight Sparkle had flinched when she saw King Sombra's horn begin to glow. She could feel him pulling magic from the world around him, crafting it into a spell that, even from here, she could tell was several orders of magnitude beyond anything she could hope to stop. She was done for, and so were her friends...

Then suddenly, the spell stopped, and she saw Sombra was just standing there. Why would he...?

The tyrant's mouth slowly dropped open, and is right lower eyelid began to twitch. It seemed as if something was happening to him. Could the Crystal Heart's effect have been delayed? Had she and her friends succeeded after all? Maybe...

Fluttershy, watching all of this with confusion, asked, "Um, are you okay, Mister...?"

She was cut off when, suddenly, Sombra began screaming, dancing around on his back legs while clutching his left foreleg. While at the start, it was impossible to make sense of what he was shrieking, but after a moment, words began to form...

"OW MY HOOF! OW OW OW OW OW!!! IT HURTS!!!"

While it was hard to make out from this distance , Twilight could see a glint of metal from the hoof that Sombra was clutching. It seemed almost as if... he'd stepped on a nail.

"AGONY! AGONY!!! IT HURTS WORSE THAN ANYTHING I'VE EVER FELT BEFORE IN MY LIFE!!! IT'S IN THE BONE!!! THE NAIL IS IN THE BONE!!! AGONY!!!"

The tyrant fell on his back, and began wildly swinging his hoof about, still shrieking like a small colt. As the display continued, Fluttershy calmly began walking up to the stallion, an almost serene expression on her face. What... what was she doing?

"WOE IS ME!!! ALL IS PAIN!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! I REGRET EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DONE!!!"

While Sombra continued shrieking his head off, Fluttershy gently took his injured hoof to her mouth, and with a well practiced motion, began gently teasing the nail out.

"BY THE FAUST, I SWEAR, I'M SORRY! I"LL END MY EVIL WAYS! I'LL REFORM!!! I'LL USE MY POWERS FOR GOOD, INSTEAD OF EVIL!!! I'LL EMBRACE LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP!!! JUST PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!"

Fluttershy succeeded in removing the nail, and... Sombra did not seem to notice. Instead, he continued as if the nail was still there while Fluttershy began cleaning, and then bandaging, his hoof, as if this was all perfectly normal.

"I'LL PERSONALLY APOLOGIZE TO EVERY PONY I'VE EVER HURT!!! EVER INSULTED!!! EVER EVEN LOOKED AT FUNNY!!! I'LL WRITE A FIVE HUNDRED PAGE APOLOGY LETTER THE PRINCESSES!!! NO, I'LL ENGRAVE IT INTO THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN!!! WITH MY FACE!!! JUST PLEASE, SOMEPONY, MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY!!!"

"All done," Fluttershy exclaimed cheerfully, after putting the final touches upon the bandage.

"I'LL... wait, what?"

Sombra was startled to find that the pain had suddenly vanished. Looking at his now neatly bandaged hoof in shock, he realized that somepony had actually pulled the nail out of his hoof and tended to the wound. He looked up... into the eyes of an angel. A pegasus maiden was looking at him with a smile on her face, fit to melt even his black heart. Finding himself suddenly blushing without understanding why, Sombra looked away... and then almost fainted when, almost like putting icing on the cake, she gave his hoof a little kiss...

Sombra's face began to burn brighter, suddenly ashamed with himself. In the pain of just moments before, he had forgotten himself. He stood, then took in his surroundings, seeing an entire city's worth of ponies who were desperately trying not to laugh... and failing. He'd just succeeded in making a total donkey of himself, not just in front of this pretty young lady, but in front of the entire Crystal Empire. He'd never be able to win back their fear and/or respect after that little display. And all because of a stupid nail...

Almost rhetorically, Sombra asked, "Am I the only one who finds this to be a little bit awkward?"

The little dragon, perfectly deadpan, said, "I'm pretty sure that everypony is finding this situation to be really, really awkward."

Suddenly horrified, Sombra realized something: He'd not just embarrassed himself in front of the entire Crystal Empire, but had sworn, publicly, in the name of the Faust that he would mend his ways...

To break an oath made to the Faust, the McCarthy, or the Larson would have dire consequences. The wrath of the Haz-Bo-Ro, the ones who ruled the cosmos, would befall anypony who broke such an oath. If he did not reform, or at least make a genuine attempt at doing so, then bad luck and misfortune would infest his pathetic soul for all eternity...

Suddenly, Sombra's stomach rumbled, loudly. Right. After a thousand years, there was no reason why he wouldn't be hungry. And he really, really, really needed to go to the little colt's room.

Looking over at the pink princess, Sombra said, "I'm going to find the nearest outhouse. When I get back, I expect to see a meal fit for a king. After I'm done eating, we can discuss the terms of my surrender." Fixing the alicorn with a glare fit to make her, and every pony within fifty paces of her, flinch, he asked, "Any objections?"

Shaking her head, the princess said, "No. Just make sure you wash your hooves."

Sombra took a step, then stopped, hissing in pain. Right, he'd forgotten: No boots. Turning back towards the princess, he said, "Before that, could you send somepony to get my spare boots? They should be by my bed."

The princess confused, asked, "Why do you need them?"

Blushing bright red, Sombra admitted, "I've got very sensitive hooves."

Author's Note

Ever notice something, and then suddenly get a bizarre idea about it? I did, and that's what inspired this fic: Sombra's surprisingly impressive boots. He has armor on his hooves, and on his neck, and nothing else. The neck makes sense: The neck is a very vulnerable part of the anatomy. But the hooves are not... unless he had hooves like Rainbow Dash's, who couldn't even stand the idea of a hoof file being used on it.

Yeah, just a crazy, weird, random though I had.

Sombra's Iron Hoof

"So, um, is that why you wear those boots?"

Sombra snorted in irritation as he inspected his spare boots: Whoever had fetched them had put some sort of strange block inside. While he was uncertain of what it was, it was rectangular, had little nubs on top, and looked like it would hurt like nothing he had ever imagined if he were to step upon it. The nail was bad enough, he didn't need this little brick on top of it.

Looking up at the pegasus who had just asked the question, he felt his expression soften: While she was no more than fifteen or sixteen, she was certainly well on her way to becoming a true beauty. When she matured, Sombra suspected that she'd leave jaws dropping everywhere she went. Sombra, being nearly double her age, was not above admitting that, were he just a few years younger, or she was a few years older, he would definitely have made a play for her. Instead, he'd have to look her up in a few years. He liked his mares a little more mature...

Clearing his throat, he admitted, "Yes. My home town was hit by an outbreak of hoof-rot when I was young. Many were afflicted so badly that their hooves could no longer carry their weight without breaking to pieces, while others shrugged it off with little to no problem. I was borderline: My hooves can bear my weight, but they're very soft, and very sensitive. Without proper support and cushioning, walking on anything asides from soft ground or plush carpet hurts like you'd not believe, and they chip easily. And if I step on something sharp..." Gesturing with his bandaged hoof, he said, "Well, you saw what happened."

He disliked admitting that he had a weakness, a flaw of any kind, but he supposed the cat was out of the bag: There was no use in hiding it now. Slapping on his boots, having confirmed that there were no other surprises in store, he said, "I'll be back in a few minutes. Nature calls." With no further ado, he walked off, still irritated at this entire absurd situation.

Twilight Sparkle was more than a little bit embarrassed by all of this. All of her hard work, hoping to pass the test that Princess Celestia had set out for her, and what had defeated Sombra? A nail! It was completely ridiculous...

"Um, Twilight..." Fluttershy began, quietly.

Turning toward her friend with a smile on her face, her anger smothered for now, Twilight asked, "Yes, Fluttershy?"

The pegasus asked, "What do you know about hoof-rot?"

Ah, now that was an obscure topic. After a moment's thought to bring what information she had on it together, the unicorn said, "Well, it was originally an earth pony malady, but it ran rampant in the time after the unification of ponykind. Hygiene was poor back then, and the germ that causes it would enter through untreated sores and the like. While it wasn't truly fatal most of the time, it was a really unpleasant illness, and in colts and fillies, it could leave them crippled if left untreated, since it can permanently damage their hooves at critical stages in their growth." Shaking her head sadly, she continued, "It tended to pop up in mixed race communities, where it would hit unicorn and pegasus populations pretty hard, since they lacked any resistance to it, unlike earth ponies. When the first vaccinations were created about eight hundred years ago, that was one of the big ones that doctors chose to target immediately. It's believed to be almost completely wiped out." After a moment, she asked, "Why do you ask?"

"Well, um," Fluttershy seemed a little embarrassed saying this, but pressed on, saying, "Sombra said that he had it when it was younger, and it made it where his hooves hurt if he walks on them without those boots on. I was just wondering if there was anything that could be done about that."

That was just like Fluttershy: She couldn't stand the thought of anyone hurting, good or bad, pony or not. And that actually gave Twilight an idea: Sombra was defeated, more or less, and he seemed willing to turn himself in rather than continue the fight, although why he'd stopped was still a mystery to her. Maybe it was simple gratitude to Fluttershy for having helped him? However, Twilight couldn't guarantee that Sombra would remain 'docile' forever. But what if he were given reason to remain grateful? While Twilight couldn't take the credit for defeating Sombra and saving the city, maybe bringing in a powerful wizard willing to work for the good of Equestria would be enough for her to pass Celestia's test...

"Well," Twilight began, a small smile forming on her face, "there might be a few things that could be done for him. Let's go talk to Rarity: I'm almost certain that she knows a hoof specialist..."

After one thousand years, letting it all out like that was a sublime pleasure. For a few seconds afterwards, the world was almost a wonderful and magical place... and then Sombra got off of the seat of the outhouse, got back on his hooves, and the world sucked once again. His boots, wonderful as they were, only helped to reduce the pain and discomfort of walking on them. It basically turned the process from agonizing torture to bearable levels. It let him walk without screaming, and that, he had learned, was the best anypony could hope for. He was lucky to still have his hooves, given how far the hoof-rot had progressed before it had finally passed. Right... lucky.

It is amazing what you can get used to when you don't have a choice...

Walking back towards the courtyard, his boots clanging with each step, and the unicorn himself grumbling angrily, Sombra noticed a trio of overly muscled crystal ponies standing in his path. Undeterred (He had no small amount of muscle himself, and he still had his magic on top of that), he walk on until it was clear that they were not going to move. Snorting angrily, he commanded, "Out of my way."

The three oafish buffoons laughed in his face, then the apparent leader said, "Oh, I don't think so. See, it seems you're not the king anymore, so that means we don't have to do what you say."

While technically correct, Sombra was not in the mood for this. These three, though, were obviously spoiling for a fight (And admittedly, it was hard to blame them), and Sombra was more than happy to oblige them. Still... he'd sworn an oath to be good, so he couldn't just reduce these three into a smoking crater littered with bright red meat chunks... no matter how satisfying that might have been. He supposed he would just have to settle with giving them a good spanking and letting them off with a warning afterwards.

The leader advanced, to the point that his face and Sombra's were almost touching, then asked, "So, what are you going to do about it, tenderhoof?" The other two began circling around, clearly intent upon attacking him from all sides.

Well, he would have settled for just a spanking, but after having insulted him, now he'd need to make an example of them. A cold smile crossed Sombra's face as a wonderfully wicked idea came to mind. And it wasn't even evil. Well, not compared to most of the things he could do...

"I'm happy to help, darling," Rarity said with a smile. "As somepony with soft hooves, I cannot help but sympathize with his condition. I'll be happy to introduce Sombra to a good hoof specialist when we get to Canterlot."

"Thank you," Fluttershy said, smiling. "I'm sure it will mean a lot to... wait, do you hear singing?"

Without warning or announcement, three large and well-muscled ponies, each wearing frilly pink dresses, abruptly burst into the courtyard, singing in falsetto voices. They began dancing about the square, putting on an elaborate performance, to the confusion and amusement of the ponies assembled.

Sombra returned a moment afterwards, a satisfied smile on his face. Twilight, irritated, stormed over to the tyrant, and asked, her voice nearly a shout, "What did you do to them!?!"

Nonplussed, the stallion said, "They insulted me, so I decided to teach them a lesson. It is just a temporary compulsion spell. It will wear off in three minutes." Chuckling, he added, "But the memories shall last a lifetime."

More than half of the crowd was now laughing at the show, including Princess Cadance. Fluttershy herself could not help but to giggle at the display, and even Twilight, having learned it would only be temporary, couldn't help but crack a smile.

After a moment, Twilight said, "That was not a nice thing to do to them." The fact that she was having trouble keeping from laughing took most of the sting out of that comment...

Chuckling, Sombra said, "I swore, in the Faust's name, that I would be good. I never promised to be nice."

Author's Note

Thrush, a horse malady, caused by bacterial infection, that rots the hoof and can lame a horse.

Hoof Rot or Foot Rot: An illness that infects other hooved animals. Targets the junction between hoof and leg, and is quite nasty.

I went with the name Hoof Rot because it's quite appropriate, given what it does.

Sombra's Tender Hooves

"You are certain this will be effective?"

Rarity looked up at Sombra and smiled. Just an hour ago, this stallion had been the terror of the Crystal Empire, and everypony, herself included, was scared witless by his mere presence. Now, seeing him so apprehensive over a simple tube of cream reminded her of nothing so much as a scared young colt afraid of getting a shot in the foreleg. She supposed she couldn't blame him: If his hooves were as sensitive as she suspected that they might be, then just somepony touching them could be painful if they weren't careful. The fact that he had even allowed her to take a look at them, let alone apply lotion to them, was a testament to how badly he wanted it to stop.

With a small chuckle, Rarity said, "Well, I can't be certain just how effective that this will be for you, but it has done wonders for me." While her friends, Princess Cadance, Shining Armor, and the citizens of the Crystal Empire watched her go to work, using magic to apply the medicine to Sombra's hooves, the mare continued, stating, "In my line of work, sensitive hooves can be a boon: I can tell, at a touch, the quality of a fabric, even when my eyes might normally deceive me. However, walking around on rough ground can be unpleasant, given such tenderness, so I always keep a few tubes of this medication with me."

Finishing her work on his forehooves, she started on the back. "There are surgical procedures, medications, and nutritional supplements now that can permanently cure that sensitivity, as well as improve the solidity of your hooves. I can recommend a hoof specialist in Canterlot who can assist you in looking into those options. In the meantime, this will do as a temporary solution." As she put the finishing touches on Sombra's hooves, she said, "It's only good for about four hours, but once it soaks in, you should notice a difference."

Placing a hoof on the ground, Sombra began applying weight to the extremity...

His voice filled with wonder, the tyrant said, "Incredible. I don't feel anything!"

Smiling, Rarity said, "The wonders of modern medicine." Gesturing over to Princess Cadance, she added, "Now, the princess will need to have a few words with you. I imagine that it'll take a little time to work out what, exactly, will be expected of you once, you reach Canterlot, but I think that you'll not find it too severe, given the circumstances..."

Six moons later...

Stepping onto the train, Sombra had to admit, he felt like a new pony.

It had been a rough time, in all honesty. The hoof specialist had practically thrown a fit upon examining Sombra's damaged extremities. The doctor had exclaimed that it was a miracle that Sombra could walk without screaming, and he had never seen hooves so terrible on any living pony that didn't involve sticking a limb in a wood chipper. The fact that, centuries before it had been 'officially' invented, Sombra had managed to create a primitive set of orthopedic boots that had genuinely reduced his pain level, in spite of the fact that he'd had no idea what he was doing, had shocked his hoof doctor greatly. While the design was crude, it was certainly effective, and was now on display in the Canterlot Museum Of Medical History. Still, after three operations, a strenuous regimen of both physical therapy and nutritional supplements, and enough pills to choke a minotaur, he felt like a new pony. His hooves didn't hurt anymore, he no longer needed his boots, and because of that, a great many things had changed.

Dark magic is power by the negative emotions of the caster. Fear, anger, hatred, rage, sorrow, all these and more can lend power to the spells an evil wizard might use. Sombra, used to being in constant pain, pain that made him hate everything and everypony around him, that made him want to cry at the unfairness of the world, had become a virtuoso in the field. With the pain gone, his ability with such spells plummeted. He could no longer cast dark magic anymore in any meaningful fashion... a small price to pay, he supposed.

His outlook on life had changed radically, as well. He'd been such a pessimist before, not to mention a sadist: He'd been in so much pain, he could not help but want to inflict the same on others, whether that pain was physical or psychological. Now, however, everything was looking much better. Of course, the counseling might have had something to do with that as well.

The princesses had been skeptical, at first, regarding how the pain in his hooves had altered his personality... up until they'd seen the x-rays of Sombra's hooves. Luna vomited three times. Celestia, only once, but much more impressively. While he'd not seen the images himself, the fact that the only way they could have been worse involved literal, physical damage caused by heavy machinery spoke volumes. The psychiatrists had concluded that Sombra's villainous behavior had been caused by a 'temporary psychosis' (Strange how they insisted upon it being temporary, even though it had been ongoing for years and years, but they argued that as soon as the pain was removed, his attitude had changed, so of course it was temporary. Psychiatrists. What can you do?), brought about by long term, relentless, agonizing pain. Sombra, even when off of his hooves, had been at a pain level of four (On a scale of one to ten), and a level of eight when on his hooves, although his boots had helped bring it down to a six. When he'd stepped on that nail, he'd reached level ten, possibly even beyond that.

As he found his seat, he couldn't help but chuckle to himself. Thankfully, Fluttershy had removed the nail before Sombra had reached the part about carving an apology into the side of a mountain with his face. However, while he'd not been required, by his oath, to follow through with the apologies to everypony he'd wronged, it was suggested that he keep to the spirit of that vow. In the hospital, while going through his various treatments, he'd had plenty of time to write a letter of apology to each pony in the Crystal Empire. Surprisingly, he'd actually received letters from his former 'subjects', expressing forgiveness for his crimes. Not a large number of them, admittedly, but even one would have meant the world to him now.

Thank goodness for those six mares, though: Each of them had, during his treatment, visited him and helped him keep his spirits up. Especially Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. The two of them together had done wonders, keeping him company. The only thing that had kept him sane, during all of the tedium of the constant hospital stays, was their sunny dispositions during their weekly visits.

Now, however, he had to make good on his oath: He'd promised to use his powers for good, instead of evil, and the Crystal Empire was looking to expand. That meant that they would need to find a way to stretch the boundaries created by the Crystal Heart, expanding the area enclosed by the forcefield that protected the city from the perils of the icy north. As the only living expert on the Crystal Heart, as well as the only pony alive who could make crystal formations grow with magic, he would be spending the next two or three years helping the city grow, and then creating new housing for the citizens to move into. Ponies were, even now, looking to move into the Crystal Empire, now that it had returned...

A lady's voice asked, "What's so funny?"

Looking over to his left, Sombra saw his seatmate for the train ride, a tan earth pony with a short blonde mane, wearing a purple suit. She looked to be in her thirties, or perhaps just her late twenties and under a lot of stress. Either way, she was close to Sombra's own age, and a good deal more mature-looking than most of the mares he'd seen in the modern era...

...And Sombra did prefer a bit of maturity in his mares.

"I was just thinking," Sombra said, as he eased into his seat, "about how so much can change in half a year. Just six moons ago, ponies were doing everything in their power to keep me from entering the Crystal Empire. Now, I've not only been invited back, but I get to ride there first class. Life can be funny like that. Ah, but where are my manners? I am Sombra. Who might you be?"

The mare gave a small chuckle, then said, "Harshwhinny. Ms Harshwhinny. Charmed. And... you wouldn't happen to be THE Sombra, would you?"

With an ironic sigh, he said, "Had I known that my reputation would precede me where ever I would go, I would have made use of a pseudonym during my reign, rather than my birth name. Yes, as it happens, I am the very same Sombra you've read about in the history books."

A small smile upon her face, the mare said, "Well, some ponies become famous for winning gold medals, and others become famous for making royal blunders." The two shared a small laugh, then the mare continued, "So, what will be bringing you back to the Crystal Empire?"

"I've been tasked, for my crimes, with helping expand the borders of the Crystal Empire, and with building new housing within the city, once that is done," he admitted with a chuckle. "And you?"

Her expression now serious, Ms. Harshwhinny said, "I've been asked to determine whether the Crystal Empire should host the Equestrian games." After a moment, her expression softened, and she added, "It is mostly a formality, really: Celestia and Luna both made it clear that the city would be hosting the games this year. Given everything that's happened..." With a shrug, she said, "Well I don't think I would need to explain it to you, of all ponies. My job is mostly to make certain that the city is up to the task. The Equestrian Games are a very important event, with ponies all over the world competing for the gold. It is a bureaucratic, logistical, and diplomatic nightmare, even with a city that is easy to reach. The Crystal Empire is not. A great many arrangements will need to be made so that the Crystal Empire will be able to host the event." The mare's expression had, as she spoke, turned into a severe frown.

Sombra, an eyebrow raised, asked, "Are you dissatisfied with your job?"

The mare seemed taken aback by that, but responded quickly, stating, "I love my job! Even as a little filly, I've loved the Equestrian Games, and that has never changed. Admittedly, it is a great deal of work, ensuring that they run smoothly, but the games have been my passion for as long as I can remember." With a snort, she added, "What I can't stand is all the hoopla that each city makes over getting to be the ones who host the games. They give me tours through the 'best' parts of the city, give me a whole song and dance routine, and try their hardest to steer me away from anything that might make their city look bad. And I have to sit through all of that, dozens of times, each year that the games are held. Who wouldn't get tired of that?" With a snort, she said, "I have to make certain that the city meets very strict criteria before I can normally make my decision, but decorum demands that I have to go through all of that additional nonsense as well. I'd give anything for a chance to sit that part out, especially since the city will be ultimately be hosting the games, regardless of what I see."

Sombra thought on that for a moment, then chuckled to himself. "I might have an idea you'll like, then."

"Are they gone?"

Chuckling, Sombra looked out the door and said, "Yes, they certainly are. They fell for it, hook, line, and sinker." Carrying the mare's luggage, the stallion stepped out, a smile on his face.

Ms. Harshwhinny practically giggled as she followed him. "You know, I still can't believe how lucky we were that there was somepony on the train with the same luggage I have. It's an incredible coincidence."

Rolling his eyes, Sombra said, "I doubt its a coincidence: Miss Peachbottom won a trip to the Crystal Empire through a contest she didn't remember entering, along with her brand spanking new luggage. The entire situation has Celestia's hoofprints all over it. It would be just like her to engineer a little 'accident', where Twilight and her friends end up confusing the two of you. I swear, the princess has some sort of obsession with putting her student in awkward situations..." Chuckling, he added, "But at least this way, you can sit out the presentation, and make your assessment the way you really wanted to. Meanwhile, Miss Peachbottom will get the royal treatment."

Giggling again, the mare said, "I really shouldn't be doing this, it's hardly professional..."

Sombra, his expression stern, said, "Life is far too short to be professional all the time." Sombra took a step forward, and...

"Huh," he said, noticing an odd feeling under his hoof. Lifting up the appendage in question, he looked where he had just placed his hoof, and look to see... a bent nail. He lifted the object up, studied for a second, then checked the underside of his hoof, before chuckling to himself. He really had come a long way in six moons. It hadn't even scratched the surface. Tossing the object in a nearby garbage can, Sombra said, "Let's head out. I know a wonderful little place a few blocks from here where we can grab some lunch. I expect it will take, oh, an hour or two for them to figure out they have the wrong pony, so we have plenty of time."

Smiling, Ms. Harshwhinny said, "Lunch sounds good. I was told that I should probably expect Cadance to be at the spa: The Crystal Empire's Royal Ceremonial Headdress is quite a hassle to apply, and tradition demands that she wear it when she 'officially' greets me."

Chuckling to himself, Sombra said, "I wish I could see their faces when they figure out that they've got the wrong pony..."

He'd promised to be good. He'd never promised to be nice... and a practical joke like this one was just too good to pass up.