When Colors Fade Away
It's never easy
Another dawn came slowly and ominous over our heads. The golden hours of the day presented us a watercolor of pinks and oranges in the sky. Reddish were our eyes, after tiresome hours staring at the computer screen, refusing to accept what was happening around our little world.
Even though, we knew the painful reality, the truth that I - that we - never expected to see.
When I was young, and my father woke me up in the dead of the night. Initially I was confused, but when we walked downstairs, my confusion was replaced by astonishment. My entire family was already in the living room, crowded around our small television. My mother placed an arm around my chest and just pointed to the 'breaking news' tag at the bottom of the scene.
I knew something important was happening, but the excited chatter of my parents wouldn't let me understand a thing of what the reporter was saying. Suddenly, they appeared, and then silence took place. My jaw dropped when I saw those fascinating creatures walking out of a tunnel - a long, white tunnel. My little mind was too focused on their appearance to even bother on what everyone was talking about.
My father's hand touched my shoulder delicately, I turned around - He smiled like a child, those warm eyes looking at me full of joy.
"It happened Dan!" He said.
"We've made contact!"
It's incredible how time passes so fast.
"Fleur-"
"F-fleur, look at me." Gently, I lifted up her chin, her velvety fur wet after so many tears, all of them wasted away through the night. "We'll find a way- my dear... I promise, okay? "
A painful smile formed on my lips, with the tip of my fingers I moved some strands of hair away from her deep violet eyes, she was destroyed. I've been sacrificing all my life to keep ourselves - at least psychologically - as strong as possible, but as the days went by, my promises were becoming weak, and heavy as a bag of rocks.
"I'll never - never, let them take you away from me." Almost fatherly, I kissed her forehead. Whispering softly as a summer breeze, trying to find comfort inside a cage. Those bittersweet words were becoming colder with each day, as our hopes dissolved in the uncertain wind.
"You know I trust you Dan... But I'm not s-sure about this anymore." Her eyes pointed to the television. The crisis again...
"I don't w-want to go back through the t-tunnel- I don't wan't to l-leave-" I wrapped my arms tightly around her body.
"You won't..." And in that moment, I felt the worst kind of pain- when you're smiling only to stop tears to fall.
I was holding my hands together to hide my nervousness. A decision had to be made after all, but the real problem was the eventual outcome of our choice.
Booth were equally painful and irreversible.
Everyone was informed all of a sudden; in 24 hours, all ponies should return to Equestria. The portals would be closed, and every single bond destroyed.
It wasn't a matter of patriotic obligation to return- It was a matter of life and death. With the dimensional gates sealed and disabled, all magical bonds would crumble away.
For humans it's physically harmless, but for Equestrian life forms... The absence of magic is a fate worse than death.
Have you ever saw what happens to a human body without food? After a few days, our brain cells start to cannibalize themselves to survive, flesh starts to deteriorate, and we get weaker and weaker - In a week or so, hallucinations start, soon we can't stand up anymore because of muscular atrophy.
Heartbeats drop significantly, we're getting colder. In three weeks, our vision gets blurred frequently, you notice your eyes can't stay focused anymore. After six weeks, all basic systems break down, what remained of your body... Is a specter.
You're skin and bones, still alive- but at what cost?
I don't wan't to bear witness such a horrendous way of dying. And still, they call this a choice.
Forgive me... But I'm not strong enough.
I tremulously lifted my hands to the sides of my head and wrapped them around my neck.
"D-daniel... I-" The unicorn paused.
She grabbed my hand with a hoof, I unconsciously closed my fingers around it.
"Please, let me stay."
"This is ridiculous! How could you... How could you even consider the probability??"
"Ridiculous? Dad, I'm 23 years old- I think I can decide what's better for my own life! Who are you to talk about morality?"
"I'm your father, and you're a human for Christ's sake! She's not for you Daniel, she'll make you suffer. Just try to reason, please! What your mother would say about-"
"Don't talk about my mother! Don't you dare to mention her again..." "It's all your fault..."
"G-get out of my house!"
"NOW!"
"I can't..." I dropped her hoof. "I j-just can't, I'm sorry."
I stood up from the couch, time was running out.
"What you're talking about? I-I..." She stopped.
The sun beans escaping from the curtains drew my attention to an old wooden table by my side, a strap of light illuminated a small photo frame.
Silently, I picked it.
Right there, frozen in time, was one of the first pictures we took together; Fleur was sitting by my side in one of those concrete beaches, while waves gently broke against the rocks below. It was the perfect shot, at the perfect moment, right when the sun reflected on the tiny droplets of water, creating a beautiful aura around our bodies.
Paradinni Beach.
It was hard to believe that happened over a decade ago.
"Pack your things. You're going back to Equestria." I looked through the window, my eyes avoiding her face. I couldn't falter this time.
"What?"
"D-dan, n-no. I'm not leaving you, I can't go back-" She trotted to my side. "You promised!"
"I lied Fleur, I lied."
"No you don't- Daniel, you never-"
"I lied to you dammit!"
It crushed so hard. I could feel my soul collapsing inside of me, while I screamed at the top of my lungs.
"All the fucking time I just wanted what was best for you!" I leaned my back against the wall, tears rolling down my face, I slowly slid down to sit. "B-but I just can't let someone else die because of me."
"Not again..."
Author's Note
I can't say much about this story... It just came out of nowhere.
I hope you 'like' it.
Paradinni Beach
It's never easy
I still wonder what happened...
"Where's she??" I burst into the living room "W-where's Sarah?"
He was laying on the couch, my 'real' father was gone - what's left of him was a crumbling, rooting piece of meat. The smell of alcohol filled the air as I walked towards him, all the empty bottles of vodka and beer created an eventual deathbed around his - still living - body.
"I have no idea. She just got the car keys and left..." Slowly and depressingly, he dropped another bottle on the floor, some whiskey inevitably splashed over my feet, drenching the carpet around it.
I could'n care less.
"What? You know she can't leave on her own- have you lost your mind?"
The entire house was in a lamentable condition, the curtains were filthy and tattered, most of the furniture was gone - I simply couldn't believe this was the same place I called 'home' during such a long time.
"What have you done dad... Just look at yourself- look at this place!"
"What'cha doing here Daniel? This isn't your house, you're not-" His trembling hand grabbed the remote control from the table and turned off the TV. "...welcome here anymore."
I just stood there staring at him, a somewhat bittersweet taste in my mouth.
"Do you wanna know what happened Dan?" He smiled sarcastically "Ponies happened, Equestria happened. If you're looking around for someone to blame, why don't you just piss off back to whatever place you came from- go blame that ridiculous creature you call your 'wife'."
"Fuck you! Fuck you and all those damned ponies!" From the depths of his inebriated eyes, tears started to roll down his face.
I leaned against the wall, trying to hold back my emotions. My hands were cold and shaky as I rubbed my neck nervously.
"Go look for your mother- I don't know you."
"You're not my son."
"Daniel what you're doing-"
I closed the car trunk and turned to look at her.
"I'm saving your life."
"No you're n-not. I've made my choice, can't you understand??" Fleur grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to her. "It's a sacrifice I'm willing to do."
She was so delicate... Her white fur glittered under the morning sun, and with her beautiful body so close to me, I could literally feel the weight of this choice pounding my head from inside. Headaches - several times a day. They started some weeks ago, and now were getting progressively worse.
It seemed so egoistic to simply forget about the consequences and do whatever she wanted me to do. 'Forget'
But I couldn't, I couldn't forget. If Fleur refused to leave me, she would die. Maybe not in a week, or a month, but our world would slowly wear her out, until death eventually puts an end, to her inevitable fate.
"What do you think life is?? Some kind of medieval romance story? This is not Romeo and Juliet, this is real life for Christ's sake! I don't want to be a spectator of this tale, honey." I gently caressed her cheek, my fingers making their way into her mane. "Please, don't give me choices."
It was a rainy afternoon in Aleisterville, the roads were almost empty, except for two trucks loaded with timber. My house- my father's house, was located on the outskirts of the town, pine trees were our only neighbors.
Inside my car I started to cry, desperately trying to call my mother, but no one answered the phone.
"Dammit Sarah!"
I punched the steering wheel several times. How could I be so negligent, it was my fault- she went missing without her stupid medicine - and I had no one to blame.
And then I remembered - the beach. It was the only place she could have ever decided to go. We used to spend our Sunday afternoons there when I was young, my mother never missed an opportunity to watch the waves.
I started the car, a strange feeling in my chest said I should hurry up, without arguing, I just stepped on the gas. The windshield wiper moved incessantly from one side to the other, but the view remained practically the same for miles and miles.
The sea of ancient pines would only be disturbed once or twice by a boulder, or stream. It was almost dark, when the landscape finally began to show some clear signs of change, the trees were becoming sparse, giving place to smaller shrubs and herbaceous vegetation.
Shortly after, I was able to catch a glimpse of the first sea cliffs of Paradinne. It used to be a beautiful pebble beach- cold and rocky - but it was our little beach. A couple of years ago the sea level rose, blocking our way to the shore. Paradinne Beach was now a concrete viewpoint, perched up on the hills, only a nostalgic reminder of its past.
She was on the backseat...
Laying down, probably challenging some seat belt laws, but who cared about laws anymore? After too much arguing, she decided to go - at least she said so - but of course I couldn't believe her.
When you live together with someone for so long, you start to pick up on each others habits, expressions, phrases, voice changes - Fleur was so stubborn! She truly had her way, and as people say, it was her way, or the highway.
No... She wouldn't give up. Not so soon.
"What you're doing?" She asked, sitting straight on the seat. My vision was fixed on the road, but my mind wandered somewhere else.
"Thinking." I blinked, realizing that my eyes were already dry. "I thought you was sleeping"
"No my dear... I don't think my body knows what sleep means anymore. " She chuckled sadly. "So, what were you thinking about?"
I don't know exactly what happened, maybe it was the question, the peculiar similarities, the weather outside, the trees or the memories - But at that very moment, something from very long ago flooded my mind.
"Paradinne Beach..."
A police car blocked the road, lights flashing, an officer stood beside it with a flashlight in hand. The rain had finally ceased, so I stopped the car right next to him, and opened the window. Salty air filled my nostrils almost instantly.
"Good night sir." He nodded. "I'm sorry, but the viewpoint is closed for tonight." He wore a dark blue raincoat over the uniform, his scanner radio chattered incessantly. "Unfortunately, I'm afraid you'll have to go back, and return tomorrow."
"What happened?" I got out of the car. "Another storm warning?" Right down the road I could spot a police truck, I felt a knot in my stomach, as the cars multiplied while I looked around.
"No sir, there was an accident... A car crashed against the guardrail."
No...
"...it flipped over and fell from the cliff."
I still remember his face... I just ran, they tried to stop me, but I wasn't in control of myself anymore. All those blue lights, sirens, noises... My head was spinning, my heart pounding.
"Sir- Calm down! This is a restricted area-"
"No! My mother is there! Please let me-"
I slipped, my head hit the ground. I was drenched, bruised- panicking.
"Nooooooooo! Let me go!"
"...Dammit, he's bleeding- Someone call Jacob!"
"DANIEL WAKE UP!"
"What-"
It all happened in a heartbeat - Fleur screamed, the car skidded off the road, branches crashed trough the windshield - screams, glass shards - I heard metal twisting, and then-
Silence.
