The Chronicles of a Travelling Brony

by Raven Smite

Rating: teen
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 11562

My first story, which takes elements from multiple awesome stories on this site.

Your semi-standard HiE story. Based off of such stories as "Omnius' Travels: Equestria", "How Did I Get Here?", and "Le Retour"
This is my first story on this site, and hopefully won't be the last.
A higher ranking officer of the Inter-Dimensional Traveller's Corps. or the IDTC, has finally gotten every Brony's dream come true: He get's to go to Equestria. Find out how he will learn about friendship, tolerance, and even... love.

Published 2012-04-22 02:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-19 03:51:36 UTC

Dropping In

It was a peaceful day in Equestria. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and, if anypony had been paying attention, there was a man falling from the sky over the Everfree Forest... Wait, what?

“WWWAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!” THUD! The man, surprisingly still alive, groaned as he got up and dusted himself off. He was blonde, as could be seen by the pointed locks sticking out from under his hat. He was wearing a tan overcoat and had on a T-shirt and jeans underneath it. He had on black, fingerless gloves and his eyes were a deep color of purple with flecks of golden orange in them. He looked to be about 19 as he looked around. “Where the hell am I? Last thing I can remember was just lying down for a nap, then my receiver beeped, there was a flash of green light and I’m falling... Damnit, if it’s not one place it’s another... Well, might as well try and find where I am this time. I swear, if they sent me to L4D2 again, there will be hell to pay... Need 4 people my ass, Rochelle is such a bitch..." He muttered to himself as he picked a random direction and started walking.

As he was walking, he tried to converse with the voices in his head, but that quickly got boring and pulled out his iPod, he scrolled through his songs, looking for one that he had yet to fully memorize. He turned on repeat and selected You're Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring. He started nodding his head along with the music. Eventually, night fell and he reached the edge of the forest, where he spotted a very familiar town nearby. Quickly recognizing the town, the man’s face paled as he quickly realized just which reality they had sent him too, then, a wide grin split his features as he laughed in victory.. ‘FINALLY!!! After my years of service, they finally let me into the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic universe!! The only question now is, when I in the series and how will I go through town without attracting too much attention to myself? If only I was a pony myself...’ he thought. As he thought that, he felt something. It started in the back of his head, a slight tingling feeling, and quickly spread throughout his entire body. When he looked down, he saw hooves instead of feet. He had turned into a pony! Looking around, he spotted a small stream which he ran to, and, by the light of the moon, he was able to make out a horn on his head. ‘I’m a unicorn? Well, it’s okay, I guess. I wish I could be a pegasus instead...’ Suddenly, he felt that tingling feeling again, and when he looked behind him, his vision was blocked by two feathery wings on his back. ‘Hell yes! That’s what I’m talking about! Wait, does this mean I can change back into a human at will too?’ After a brief tingle, he looked down and saw he was back to his old self. ‘It’s official, I freaking love this place!’ He thought while a shit-eating grin adorned his face.

Turning back into a pegasus, he took a few moments to look himself over. His mane was the same dirty blonde color as his hair, with his coat being a dark red/ auburn color. He looked at his wings, and saw them equipped with those badass blade things that the royal guard wore. As he bent a bit more, he was able to see his cutie mark, it was what looked like a Hylian shield with the gunblade from Final Fantasy and a Zanpakutō with a gun barrel and trigger stuck on it. ‘So my cutie mark is the logo I use for my weaponsmithing business... I can live with that!’ The pegasus thought.

Changing back into a human once again, he looked at his back with a mirror and saw a tattoo of his cutie mark on the lower left corner of his back, just above the waistline of his pants. “Cool, a new tat. I just hope it doesn’t interfere with the seals.” he said as he looked at his upper left arm where there was an intricate design that seemed to stem from a spiral.

He reached for the odd tattoo and then reached into it. He moved his arm around inside the seal, occasionally pulling out an random object and then replacing it. “Well, it seems to be fine, I’ll just have to run a full inventory later.” he commented as he withdrew his hand from the seal changed back into a pegasus. He flapped his wings a few times to get used to the feeling, then flew off towards Ponyville.
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Twilight Sparkle was doing a little bit of late night reading, which meant that she was interchanging between about 5 different books. Spike had just gone off to bed after sending her weekly report to the princess. Suddenly, she heard somepony knocking at her door. “Who could that be?” She wondered aloud.

She opened the door to a pegasus she had never seen before, so she was slightly surprised when he spoke her name. “Twilight Sparkle? The student of Princess Celestia?”

“Yes, that’s me. Is there something I can help you with? Because the library is kind of closed right now...”

“I need Spike to send this letter to the princess. Whether it be Luna or Celestia is of little difference to me.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but Spike just went to bed, and I don’t want to just wake him up. If you can come back in the morning, I’m sure he’d be happy to.”

“This can’t wait until morning! It is of the utmost importance that the princess sees this. Now please get spike!”

“Somepony looking for me?” The two ponies looked towards the stairs to see the baby dragon walking out, rubbing his eyes.

“Spike! It’s good to meet you. I need you to send this letter to the princess immediately.”

Nodding, Spike took the scroll and, with a breath of flame, sent it off. “I wouldn’t expect a reply anytime soon, Princess Luna doesn’t really reply to mail all tha-UURRPP!” A scroll materialized out of the little purple dragon’s mouth.

Twilight picked up the scroll with magic and read it, “It says that Princess Luna will wake up Princess Celestia and that they will both be here as soon as possible! What was in that letter? Who are you?”

All will be answered when the princesses get here, that way I don’t have to repeat myself.”

There was a flash of light behind them, and when they turned around, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia were standing before them. Twilight and the pegasus both bowed and then sat up.

“Princess Celestia. Princess Luna. Hello.”

“Hello my faithful student. Hello Spike. I take it that this pegasus is the reason we were summoned at this time of night?” the sun princess questioned.

“Yes, I am. And now that we are here, I can finally introduce myself. I am part of the Interdimensional Traveller’s Corps. I am a Chief Warrant Officer, codename: Wafflez Brony. And yes, I chose the name myself. To prevent confusion, You can call me by either my human name; Josh, or my pony name; Raven Smite.” the now-pegasus informed them.

Princess Luna smirked at his codename, “So, by ‘Brony’ I’m guessing you’re a fan?”

Josh grinned, “Yep. I’ve been a Brony and proud for close to three years now. I’ve also been a help to recruiting several other Bronies and Pegasisters to the Corps. I guess it’s because of how many I’ve recruited that the higher-ups allowed me to finally come to this universe. Just wish they could have warned me though, not that I don’t like surprises, but falling from a couple miles in the air is not a fun experience... Anyway, I seemed to have lucked out even more. I believe I have landed in the canon universe. Thank God I didn’t land in a fanfiction. I don’t think I would be able to survive a trip to ‘Cupcakes.’” The pegasus shuddered at the thought.

“So I take it you’re not an actual pegasus?” Princess Luna asked.

“Right you are, Princess. I am, in fact, a human with an innate ability to shapeshift. Here is my real appearance.” Raven started morphing into his human form, eliciting a gasp from Twilight and Spike, who everypony had pretty much forgotten were there.

“Ah, that reminds me. Princesses, if you would both kindly cover your eyes. Twilight, Spike, I need you two to look very carefully at this red light here.” Josh said as he put on a pair of sunglasses and pulled out a small silver tube and faced the side with the red light toward the unicorn and the baby dragon. There was a flash of light and Josh put his sunglasses and the Neuralizer away and spoke to the slightly dazed pair. “You did not just see a pegasus turn into a human. You will not remember anything that happened after you put Spike to bed. You will both go to bed now and wake up in the morning feeling completely fine.”

The duo nodded then headed up the stairs to go to bed. The sun princess stepped forward, “What was that? What did you do to my student? Why did we have to cover our eyes?”

“Easy, easy, one question at a time! In order: that was a Neuralizer, it is a device that uses a specific level of light to trigger memory loss in the brain. That’s why I had you two cover your eyes, as it would have affected the both of had you not. As to what I did, I just erased their memories of this meeting so that I can keep my humanity a secret for as long as possible. That way I can make friends with them normally. Now that that is out of the way, why don’t you two change back to your original forms?”

The royal sisters gave him a wide-eyed looks of shock, “How did you know?” Luna asked.

Josh smirked, “Like I said earlier, I’m a hardcore Brony. I’ve done extensive research on more than just the characters. I’ve researched the voice actors and directors as well.”

Josh watched as the two princesses in front of him morphed into humans. “It is a pleasure to make both of your acquaintances, Princesses. Or should I say, nice to meet you Lauren Moon, and Tia Faust?”

-END OF CHAPTER ONE-

Meeting Some Locals

-CHAPTER TWO-

Raven Smite was walking down the streets of Ponyville. After talking with the princesses last night, they had come up with a sufficient cover story for him. He was the student of Princess Luna, taken on before she had become Nightmare Moon, and, before she had actually turned evil, she bestowed upon him the gift of immortality for some overly good deed he did. After she had become Nightmare Moon, Raven had set out to learn different trades by travelling the world and learning from not just ponies Equestria, but the Gryphons in the mountains, and the zebras on the plains. He was even capable of performing some magic, as his mother was an alicorn and his father was a unicorn, so he had more magical capabilities than most, despite him being a pegasus. The princesses had even been kind enough to offer him a house in town, but he politely refused, saying he preferred to build his own residencies. So, he was walking down the street when Raven saw a light brown/dark tan stallion wearing a bowtie who had an hourglass for a cutie mark. Smirking, he approached the pony and tapped him on the shoulder.

The stallion turned around, and his eyes widened when he saw Raven. “You know who, and what I am?” Raven questioned.

The pony nodded, “I will only this: I know where and when she is, I also know the current location of the TARDIS, but I can’t tell you either of these things as they are fixed in time for now. All I can tell you is she is safe.”

The pony opened his mouth to speak, “How do I know all of this? It’s because we’ve already had this conversation.”

The Doctor (as you should all know by now, otherwise go start watching Doctor Who NOW!) dumbfounded, just nodded and Raven smirked and trotted away.

As Raven was trotting away from the still slightly-shocked Doctor, he heard small noises of crying coming from nearby. Looking around, he spotted a pony sitting in an alleyway, crying. He walked over to her, and instantly recognized her; the bubbles cutie mark, the light grey coat, that beautiful bleached blonde mane, those adorable crossed golden eyes, ‘Well I’ll be damned,’ Raven thought, ‘It’s Derpy Hooves! but, why is best pony crying?’

“Hey, are you alright?” Raven asked as he walked up to the crying mail-mare.

“Sniff! No, I was going to deliver this package to Rainbow Dash, but I accidently dropped it and now it’s all ruined! (SO tempted to put smashed... Must... Resist... Rhyming...) And now Rainbow Dash will be mad and yell at me!” She started to tear up again.

“Hey, hey! There’s no need to cry! Here let me see it and I’ll fix it up!” He smiled and opened the slightly dented cardboard box. Inside was a Wonderbolts clock, or rather, the broken remains of one. Muttering something about Déjà Déjà vuu, and his author ripping off better stories [OI!], Raven discreetly reached into his pocket dimension and produced a screwdriver. After a bit of tinkering, the clock was good as new, and Raven put it back in the box and re-taped it shut. “There we go! It’s like it was never broken!” He hoofed the box back to Derpy, who was beaming, “Thanks mister! You really helped me out! I’m Derpy Hooves, by the way! Would you like a muffin?”

Raven grinned back at the cross-eyed mail-mare, “It is lovely to meet you, Derpy! My name is Raven Smite, and yes, I would love a muffin!”

Derpy beamed and pulled out a small black remote-like object with a button on it. She handed it to Raven. “Here. This is a Muffin Button. It’s how I always get my Muffins. The Doctor made it for me! He says that when I push the button, it opens up a small wormhole to a different dimension that has muffins growing on trees! I just have to think about what type of muffin I want, press the button, and that muffin appears! I have two, so you can have this one. Thanks again for helping me!” She said as she hugged him and took off to deliver her package.

Raven looked down at the Muffin Button in his hoof. Then, a wide grin split his face as he pressed the button. A muffin popped out of nowhere and landed in his other hoof. Still grinning, he pocket-dimensioned the remote and walked away, chewing on a muffin. ‘Sweet! I got a Muffin Button! TFSGoku can suck it!’ he thought as he continued walking, totally unaware of a pink blob following him through the streets. That is, until said pink blob appeared in front of him, hanging upside down on... nothing...

“GAAAAHHH!!” Raven yelled as he sprang back. Pinkie Pie looked at the new pony she had seen earlier and smiled, “Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! Are you new? Would you like a cupcake? There my special cupcakes, I give them to all new ponies in Ponyville! You must be new because I’ve never seen you before and I know everypony in this town! What’s your name? Oh! Is it -MMPH!” The pink one’s rant was stopped short by Raven putting his hoof her mouth. “In order: yes, NO! Absolutely no cupcakes! They make me sick, any other sweets are fine but NO CUPCAKES! And finally, my name is Raven Smite.”

Pinkie Pie nodded happily, when her eyes suddenly gained a glazed-over look on them and she looked up to the sky. The, she nodded, and looked back at him, “So, you’re a self-insert of the author to spice up the canon storyline... Well, I’ve got a party to plan! See you later, Josh!”

Raven just stared after the pink earth pony. He had read about her powers over The Fourth Wall, but he never thought they were THAT extensive! Shaking his head, he turned and headed for the library.

When he arrived, he knocked on the door and heard a voice from the inside, “WHY does everypony keep knocking?! It’s a PUBLIC library!”

Raven just chuckled and when she opened the door, he answered, “It’s probably because this is also somepony’s home, and nopony wants to accidentally intrude.”

Twilight blushed when she realized she had spoken louder than she had meant to. “Well, it doesn’t really matter, in any case. I’m Twilight Sparkle, how can I help you?”

Raven’s eyes lit up with realization, ‘Thank you acting classes!’ “Ah! So you’re Twilight Sparkle! The student of Princess Celestia? Good, then I’ve found the right place!”

Twilight looked at the pegasus in front of her, “How do you know me? Have we met before?”

The auburn pegasus looked at her and smiled, “Allow me to introduce myself; I am Raven Smite, the student of Princess Luna.” He finished with a little bow.

Twilight was thoroughly flabbergasted. She never knew Princess Luna had a student! “I didn’t know Princess Luna had taken on a student. When did she take you on? It must have been recently, considering she’s been sealed in the moon for the past millenium.”

Raven looked slightly sheepish, “Actually, she took me on a student before she had become Nightmare Moon...”

Twilight just stared, “WHAT!?” she shouted, “That’s not possible! That would make you over 1000 years old! There’s no way that could be true unless-”

“I was immortal? Well, I kind of am...” he chuckled.

Twilight Sparkle did the only thing possible for her at that moment: *THUD!*

She fainted...

-END OF CHAPTER TWO-

A Slight Backstory

-CHAPTER THREE-

*POKE!*

“Twilight?”

*POKE! POKE!*

“Twiiiiiiliiiight!”

*POKE!*

“... Oh! Hello Princess Celestia!”

“WHERE?!” Twilight’s eyes went wide and she shot up from the couch.

She looked around to see that she was indeed sitting on the couch of the library.

Looking to her right, she saw Raven Smite sitting there, smirking at her.

“What happened?” The purple unicorn inquired.

Raven, still smirking slightly, replied, “You fainted when I told you that I was basically immortal. I’ve been trying to wake you for the past 10 minutes.”

Twilight blushed embarrassed that she had fainted. “So, how are you immortal? The only immortal beings I know of are Discord and the princesses...”

Raven sighed, “It’s not exactly immortality. I can still die, it’s just that I don’t stay dead.”

The unicorn looked puzzled, “You don’t stay dead? How does that work?”

Raven thought back to his first experience with dying...

Flashback: TF2

Josh was dressed as a Scout, and he was affixing the Engineer with a look of disbelief. “You did what now?”

The Engineer looked excited, “I made a miniature version of the machine that respawns us everytime we die! It’s just a prototype, but I’ve tested it on myself and it works perfectly! I made a slightly more upgraded version, and I want you to have it!”

Josh looked a little wary, “How does it work?”

The Engineer went into lecture mode, complete with a pointer and a self drawing dry-erase board to animate what he was saying. “It works exactly like the respawn device, but it integrates itself completely with the user’s body, so when you respawn, it’s in the same body you died in! This is still just a Beta version, so I’ve taken the liberty to equip a type of ‘Inter-Dimensional Automatic Updater’ that will notify you when a better version is available, and then subsequently update it.”
He was about to ask if it has been tested yet, but he was interrupted by his head being blown open by a sniper taking an easy shot. Ten minutes later, he stood up and looked at the Engineer with bewilderment. “Did that really just happen?”

The Engineer nodded, a grin splitting his face.

Josh was still impressed that none of the TF2 cast was surprised at him being a Traveller. It must have something to do with the servers...

“It can also log up to 5 Fast Track Links to your favorite universes and dimensions. You just pull up the menu and choose where you want to go and it will teleport you to the last known location in that specific reality. As I update it, this list will be able to hold more and more links. It also comes a physical form of these dog tags.” The Engineer continued as he held up said pair of dog tags.

Josh couldn’t stop grinning, this thing was awesome! “I’d love one! Thanks man! Oh, by the way, call me Josh, all my friends do.”

The Engineer smiled, “Call me Vechz! Vechz Davidson.”

Josh laughed, “It’s nice to meet you, Vechz Davidson!” His receiver beeped, and he looked down at it. “Well, looks like it’s time to go for now, but before I do...” Josh pressed one of the dog tags hanging around his neck, and a menu popped up, he moved the dog tag around a bit, and a list with TF2 on it and four empty slots appeared. “There, now I have a fast track right back here! By Vechz!” And with that, there was a bright flash of pink light, and he was gone.

Flashback End

Raven shook his head, “It’s an old form of magic. It’s not accessible to modern day unicorns...”

Twilight’s face fell, “Oh well, I was really hoping for a new spell to learn...”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know this spell. It was cast on me by an old unicorn who’s life I had saved, but I was unable to save her husband. She was both grateful and furious, and she said to me, ‘You deserve both a reward and punishment for what you have done. So here, TAKE BOTH!’ And then her horn glowed a very bright white light and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in the castle in my room. It wasn’t until a Manticore attacked me did I discover exactly what had happened. At first, I was overjoyed! I couldn’t stay dead! I’m immortal! But then, the next day, my loved one was killed in an accident. I couldn’t live without her, so I tried to take my own life, only to come back a few minutes later. I fell into a depression after that, and it was during this time I found out that not only will I not die, I wouldn’t age either, so I would outlive anypony if I fell in love again...” Raven finished as he looked over at Twilight, who was crying silently, but still listening.

“After that, my teacher became Nightmare Moon, her sister sealed her into the moon, and the rest is history.”

It wasn’t entirely far from the truth; after he had gotten back from the TF2, his girlfriend, Gazz, had gone there to get a PRD as well. But, when she got there, a sniper had shot her before her code could fully integrate with the Main Respawn Device, she could not come back to life. In a blind rage, Josh had gone to 17 separate TF2 universes and dismantled the MRD, before slowly and painfully slaughtering each and every person there. Now, every time Josh went to a new universe/ reality/ dimension, he would always make a gravestone for her, on the day she died. This way, it was as if she were travelling with him.

Breaking out of his thoughts, Raven turned to look at Twilight to see that she had cried herself to sleep. Looking around to make sure nopony else was there, he shifted into a unicorn and picked her up with magic. He carried her up to her room and laid her in bed. He turned out the lights and as he walked out the door, he spoke, “Good night, Twilight Sparkle.”

As he was walking towards his temporary home, a tent he had set up in a clearing near the Everfree Forest, he was passing an alleyway when he heard noises coming from it. Deciding to investigate, Raven trotted into the alley, where he saw three pegasi stallions surrounding a knocked out mare. “Hehehe. Now that the bitch has finally stopped struggling, let’s have some fun with her.”

As Raven got closer, he saw it was the three flankholes who were harassing Rainbow Dash in the Sonic Rainboom episode! Raven never did like them. Seeing as they were closing in on the still unidentified mare, Raven acted fast. He jumped in between them and her, “Excuse me, gentlecolts, but I think there has been some sort of mistake here...”

The one with basketballs for a cutie mark slurred, “No mishtake here! We wash jusht about to have shome fun with thish shlut here!”

Raven just stood there, “Well, that’s where you’re wrong, and if there is one thing I hate more than murderers, it’s rapists, so I’m going to have to stop you.”

The three drunken idiots laughed like, well, drunken idiots, “Oh yeah? And what are you going to do to shtop ush?”

Raven smirked, “This” And he morphed into his human form.

Now the stallions were scared, “What ARE you!?” The one with a dumb-bell for a cutie mark asked, frightened.

Josh grinned as a slightly clever yet still over-used idea snuck into his head. ‘Skyrim can suck it.’ He thought. “I am the one they fear: Dovahkiin; Dragon-Born! FUS RO DAH!!!”

The three dumbflanks were blown away by his shout. They caught themselves in the air and flew off to Cloudsdale.

Josh smirked as he turned back into Raven. He turned around to help the injured mare, and gasped when he saw the seven bubbles for a cutie mark, “DERPY!!”

I.I.I

Whiteness. That’s what those crossed amber eyes opened up to. Whiteness and brightness (rhyming! Lol!). ‘Am I dead?’ Derpy thought. She looked around and spotted an EKG. She sighed, ‘Okay, I’m not dead. I’m just in a hospital. Wait, why am I in a hospital? The last thing I remember was those three pegasi from Cloudsdale cornering me in that alley. Was I... raped?’ She started crying softly at the thought of what those three had done to her. “ZZZ- Huh? Whazzat?” A sleepy voice in the room made her start.

She looked over, and saw that pegasus who had helped her earlier. What was his name? Raven something? He seemed to be waking up from sleeping in the chair. Had he been with her this whole time?

Raven finally blinked the sleep from his eyes and looked over to see Derpy awake and looking at him... and the ceiling above him... “Oh, good. You’re awake. You gave me quite a scare there. The doctors say you have a concussion and a few bruised ribs. Those brutes did a number on you. Luckily I found you before they could do anything, uh, explicit, to you. Are you okay, Derpy?” He asked as he walked up to the bed.

Her eyes started to tear up again as what he said sunk in, and she threw her hooves around him and started sobbing into his shoulder. She hadn’t been raped! He had saved her! “Thank you.” she spoke quietly through the tears, “Thank you so much for saving me!”

Raven was stunned for a second, but then he smiled gently and wrapped his hooves around her and hugged her back, “Shh! It’s okay. You’re safe now. I won’t let anypony hurt you, Derpy.”

Eventually, Derpy calmed down and broke the hug, but not before kissing Raven on the cheek, “Thanks again, Raven.”

Raven was stunned at the kiss, but he smiled and replied, “Anytime Derpy.”

“Please, call me Ditzy Doo. All of my friends do.” And with that, she layed back down and fell asleep nearly instantly. Raven stood there for a few minutes, just looking at her sleep. [~Creeperr!~] ‘SHUT UP! DAMN YOU! AND STOP MAKING ME BREAK THE FOURTH WALL! THAT’S PINKIE’S JOB! Anyway, she kissed me! Why did she kiss me? I mean, I know WHY she kissed me but, WHY did she kiss me? It’s not like I really enjoyed it... Even if I did, I swore to never love again after what happened to Gazz. [Cliché!] LUNA DAMNIT! SHUT THE BUCK UP NARRATOR! But, she is very beautiful... I need to take my mind off of this... I think I’ll start building my house!’ And with that in mind, he left to find a good area of land.

-Chapter Three End-

A New Face In Town

This chapter is dedicated to a fallen comrade: Ice, also know as Brice Kilmurray, has killed himself due to hate and pressure... This is the reason we love and tolerate; to try and countteract all of the bad stuff. But, sometimes, even a Brony falls to the force of hate...
R.I.P. Brice Kilmurray, May your soul be in Equestria for the rest of eternity...

CHAPTER FOUR

Raven Smite was walking by Sugarcube Corner when he had an apostrophe. ’I think you mean an epiphany...’ [Hush you!]

He was looking for somepony with a large area of land he could buy, and Pinkie Pie knew everypony in Ponyville. He should just ask Pinkie if she knew anypony with open land he could buy! But first, he needed a job... Maybe he could get a music gig with Vinyl Scratch. Where does she live, though? Yet another thing he would have to ask Pinkie. He shrugged and entered the candy-colored sweet shop. “Hey Pinkie Pie!”

The pink party pony smiled at the auburn pegasus, “Hi, Raven! What can I get for you? How about a slice of pie? Or a cupcake! Oh wait, I forgot. You don’t like cupcakes! That reminds me, I still haven’t thrown you a party. Where’s your house? I’m going to throw you a great party! It’ll have balloons and streamers and punch and cake and -MMPH!” Again, she was cut off by Raven stuffing her mouth, although this time it was with a cake.

“PINKIE! Calm down! Jeez, you never stop talking, do you? Anyway, I don’t really like parties; large crowds of ponies make me uncomfortable. And besides, I don’t even have a house yet. That’s why I came here; to see if you knew anypony with a large plot of land, preferably by the Everfree Forest, and I also need a job so I can buy aforementioned land from them. Do you know anypony that could help me?”

Pinkie thought for a bit, then nodded, “Yeah! Fluttershy actually owns most of the land over there, so you should talk to her first. As for a job, there is a job board in the middle of town that most ponies use when they need some spare bits. You could use that until you find a more permanent occupation.”

Raven nodded, “Fluttershy and job board, got it. Thanks Pinkie!”

Pinkie got a slightly glazed look in her eyes again, then she blinked and giggled quietly, “Hehehe... #ZLT... That’s both funny AND true! Bye Raven!” And he walked out of the bakery, once again ignoring the strange ramblings of the earth pony...

...Only to run head first into another colt, and sent them both on their tails.

“Oww... Insert witty one-liner about a large motor vehicle here...” Raven said with a slightly pained grin.

“Huh? Oh my Celestia! Did I hurt you? Are you okay? Here, let me help you up. I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going. Please don’t be mad at me!”

Raven felt himself being pulled up and looked over to see a dark gray pegasus stallion, looking at him with concern, and a hint of fear. He was, as just stated, a dark gray pegasus. His mane was black with light blue streaks in it and he had dark green eyes. His cutie mark was a bird pointed straight down... a sparrow, Raven assumed. He actually looked quite familiar, but Raven just couldn’t place it...

“Oh! Shadow Breeze! It’s great to see you again! Did you just get back from your trip? How was Detrot?”

Huh?! Oh, hi Pinkie Pie. Yeah, I just got back and it was okay. I was wondering if I could get a few cupcakes for me and Fluttershy. I want to surprise with me being back and a small picnic.”

Throughout the entire conversation, Raven just stood there, shocked. ’Holy shit!’ he thought, ’Shadow Breeze isn’t just some OC that someone thought up. He’s an actual pony! And it would seem he’s Fluttershy’s coltfriend, no less!’

He cleared his throat, “Excuse me, but did you say your name was Shadow Breeze?”

Shadow turned to the dark red pegasus he had run into. “Yes, that’s me. Sorry for walking into you, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

Raven waved it off, “It’s fine. I’m Raven Smite, by the way. Anyways, I wwas wondering if you could help me. I’m trying to find Fluttershy’s house, but I don’t know where it is. Can you help me out?”

Shadow nodded, “Sure, I’m heading there right now. What do you need from Fluttershy? Do you have a sick pet or something?”

Raven chuckled, “No, nothing like that. I heard she owns most of the land by the Everfree Forest, and I want to buy some of it to build my house on.”

“Well, then I’m sure my Shy will be able to help you with that! Since she doesn’t need all of the land in the first place, and nopony else wants to live by the Everfree, added on to the fact that you’re new in town and don’t have a house, she’ll probably let you have it for a really low price, if not free.”

“Really?!” Raven asked incredulously, “But I though Rarity was the Element of Generosity?”

Shadow let out a small laugh, “Oh yeah, I heard about that! Jeez, you leave for a couple of months on a business trip and you back to find that suddenly your marefriend and her friends are the Elements of Harmony, and have saved Equestria twice! So anyway, tell me about yourself.”

Raven shook his head, “Nuh-uh, you first!”

Shadow sighed a bit, “Alright, but there isn’t much to tell. I woke up in the Everfree Forest one day about 5 months ago. Fluttershy found me after I had been attacked by a manticore. She nursed me back to health, and along the way, a relationship kind of formed. After I got better, we started dating and now we’re coltfriend and marefriend. About two months ago, I was summoned by order of Princess Celestia to attend to some breakout in Detrot. I’m a healer pony, you see. I used to travel around, but now I’ve settled down here in Ponyville. The reason I had to go to Detrot was because there was a serious breakout of the Feather Flu, but something had happened and earth ponies and unicorns were catching it as well. As it turns out, it was only a slight bit of food poisoning and a large amount of overreacting. Anyway, I was able to get back sooner than expected, so I plan on surprising Fluttershy.”

Raven nodded, “Seems legit. Now I suppose you want to hear my story?”

At Shadow’s nod, he continued, “Well, I am the student of Princess Luna, granted a form of immortality by an old unicorn before she had been cursed by Nightmare’s influence. After she became Nightmare Moon, I started travelling. I’ve been travelling the entire world, more than just Equestria, for the past 1000 years. Just recently, I had heard that she was freed from the Nightmare’s influence, so I travelled here to Ponyville to thank the heroes that saved my teacher. Hehe, it’s kind of funny; I’ve only been here for a few days and already so much has happened. I’ve met both Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie, I’ve met The Doctor, I may have developed feeling for Ditzy, I’ve kicked some serious flank, and I’ve done all of this before even having a permanent place of residence!”

Shadow raised an eyebrow, “Ditzy? As in Ditzy Doo? Sure, she’s a nice mare, but why her?”

Raven showed a little grin, “Simple, because Ditzy Doo is best pony!” At Shadow’s gasp, he raised his front right leg, “Brohoof?”

Shadow Breeze fell back on his haunches, “What? But, how? Are you-?”

“Human?” Raven interrupted, “Why, yes. I am in fact! Also, judging from your reaction, I’d say you’re human too! Am I right?”

Shadow looked a bit bewildered but slowly nodded, then he sighed, “Yes, I am a human, a Brony, even. I was finally setting up my own FiMFiction account and I had just clicked the verification link in the email when there was a bright flash of gold light, and I found myself in the middle of the Everfree Forest. I wandered around for a few days until I was attacked by that manticore. It got in a lucky swipe along my side before I got out of Everfree, and when I did, I found myself right outside of Fluttershy’s cottage. I was barely able to get up to the door and used the last of my strength to knock before I passed out from bloodloss. I woke up 4 days later, fully healed. Now, all I have to show for it is this scar.” He said as he turned to the left to show three jagged lines, about two and a half inches long each, going horizontally down his right side, just under his wing.

“Oww...” Raven hissed through clenched teeth, “That must have hurt like a Cupcakes...”

Shadow shuddered, “I hope to Celestia not... I STILL have nightmares from that evil story...”

Raven just chuckled, “Well, I didn’t even flinch when I first read it. Didn’t puke, didn’t stop reading, nothing. Hell, on a scale from one to ten with ten being the worst thing imaginable, Cupcakes only rates at about a two!” He laughed, then looked over at a wide-eyed Shadow, “I am immortal, my friend. With immortality comes many things; insanity, ADHD, creativity, high pain tolerance, and a very strong stomach. I have seen all 3 August Underground movies, and those only rank at a 5, maximum on the scale! Why, one time I- Oh! We’re here!” He stopped suddenly, realizing they were right in front of Fluttershy’s cottage.

Shadow Breeze walked up and knocked on the door. “W-who is it?” A timid voice asked from the other side.

Shadow grinned and replied, “Just a grey shadow of the night, looking for his golden angel light. OOF!” He was barely able to finish his sentence before the door was thrown open and he was tackled by a happy yellow blur.

“SHADOW!” Fluttershy yelled from her perch on top of her coltfriend.

“Good to see you too, love. Now, before you do anything, I have a friend here who would like to buy some of the land by the Everfree Forest.” He said, gesturing to Raven Smite.

Fluttershy looked over at the auburn pegasus and smiled sweetly, “I’m terribly sorry, but we’re closed right now. If you would like to talk about business, we will re-open in about 3 hours.” And she walked back into the cabin, dragging a grinning Shadow Breeze behind her.

Raven’s eyes were wide with shock, then he shook his head and chuckled as he walked away, “Damn, I knew I should have gone first...”

--ONE WEEK LATER--

It had been about a week since Ditzy had been put into the hospital. Several ponies had come to visit her, but not the one she was hoping for. She was finally being released today, and she was going to look for the colt who had saved her. ‘I wonder why he didn’t visit me again... Maybe Twilight knows where he is.’ The mail-mare thought as she flew off to the library.

After flying for a bit, she arrived at the giant, hollow tree that held so many books. She walked in to see Twilight reading a book. “Hi Twilight!” she greeted.

Twilight looked up from her book and smiled at the gray mare, “Hi, Ditzy! So, you finally got released from the hospital?”

“Yep! I was wondering if you could help me though. I’m looking for Raven Smite. He hasn’t come to visit me in the hospital, and I wanted to thank the pony that saved my life.”

Twilight frowned slightly in confusion, “Why wouldn’t he visit you? Did he say anything when you two last talked?”

Ditzy thought for a second, but then shook her head, “Nope, nothing that hinted at him not visiting me again... I just kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for saving me.”

Twilight let out a small gasp, “You KISSED him? Oh no. Ditzy, I think I know why he hasn’t visited you while you were in the hospital. You see, when he had just started out travelling, an old unicorn both blessed and cursed him...”

Ditzy sat there and listened as Twilight told her about Raven’s immortality, his loss, and how he didn’t want to ever feel that loss again. ’I hope Raven forgives me for this, but she needs to know.’ Twilight thought as she looked over at Ditzy to see her crying.

“It’s all my fault! I drove him away! He probably hates me right now!” The gray pegasus sobbed.

“It’s alright, Ditzy. You didn’t know. I bet if you go talk to him, you can work it out.”

Ditzy sniffled a bit, “But I don’t know where he lives. That’s why I came here in the first place; to see if you knew.”

Twilight gave her a small smile, “Yeah, he built himself a house near the edge of the Everfree Forest. Nopony’s quite sure why, though. He just said he needed a large area.”

Ditzy brightened up at hearing this, she nodded, “Thanks Twilight, I’ll go there right now!” And she flew off towards the forest.

She landed in front of the house closest to the strange forest. It was a regular two-story house, with red brick walls, a few windows and a door. It was actually kind of small, to be honest. ’I thought Twilight said he got a house with a large space? If that’s so, then why build such a small house?’ Ditzy thought, a little confused.

She shrugged, she could just ask him later. She walked up to the door, and knocked.

--10 MINUTES EARLIER--

Josh was in a dojo- like room. He was wearing a white Gi with a black belt. The belt had 5 golden stripes on it, signifying that he was at the highest level he could be, on par with the masters that had taught him... Well, maybe not all of the masters...

Facing him was another man. He was about 6’3”, with orange-red hair and beard. He was very muscular, and his eyes burned with a ferocity and will to fight. He was wearing a black Gi, but his belt was gold, with a solid black stripe running through the middle of it. It was a one-of-a-kind belt, given to the only man to have surpassed ALL of the masters. Then, he spoke, “It would seem we meet again, my student. Tell me, are you ready to have your ass beaten into the ground again?”

Josh smirked back, “Not this time, Master Norris. I have some new moves that I’ve gotten from the inhabitants of this universe.”

“Oh?” Chuck Norris quirked an eyebrow, “And what could the people of this universe have taught you that you think would be useful enough to beat me?”

“Who ever said anything about them being people?”

There was a sign of confusion on the man’s face, then it gave way to understanding, and finally a slight glint of amusement in his eyes, “So, you finally got sent here? Good for you, my student. Now, I believe we have wasted enough time talking. It’s time to show me what you have learned from these ponies.” He stated as he dropped into a stance.

Josh’s smirk widened, “With pleasure.” He replied as he dropped low. He put his legs behind him in something akin to a runner’s crouch. He put his hands in front of him as a guard and lowered his head. Then, Josh shot forward.

-CHAPTER FOUR END-

I need a bit of help from you guys. Does anypony out there know how to save a .gif and then post one in a comment?

The Date

Chapter Six
The Date

Ditzy was frantically digging through her closet, looking for something to wear for her date, while her roommate, Carrot Top, sat on her bed watching her with a slightly amused expression. "Why don't you just wear that red dress?"

"Huh? Ooh! This would be perfect! Thanks Carrot! I'm just so nervous! I haven't been on a date in forever!"

'I wonder if Raven is as nervous as I am? Nah, I'll bet he's probably been on quite a few dates in all of his immortal traveling...' She thought.

---WITH SAID DARK RED PEGASUS---

Raven was pacing nervously, "Oh crap! What do I do? What do I do? I haven't been on an actual date in over 3 millennia! Where should I take her? What do I wear?"

"Might I suggest one of your many suits, sir?" The electronic British voice from the previous chapter asked.

"But those are all made for humans! In case you somehow didn't notice, I'm kind of a pony and I'm going on a date as one!"

"I could easily alter one of them so that they fit you as an equine, sir."

"Would you? Thanks JARVIS, you're a lifesaver! I am so lucky that Tony let me have a copy of your hardware as thanks for saving him from that giant-ass crocodile! How he got into a fight with it in the first place I'll never know... Anyway, I don't know what I would do without you sometimes."

"You probably would have suffered some kind of panic attack every time you had to set up a new house because you couldn't find something specific... You really can be randomly OCD sometimes sir... I am, after all, the only computer with a large enough memory to be able to inventorize your entire Pocket Dimension."

The auburn pegasus chuckled, "Yes, you're probably right, as usual. How's that ponified suit coming along?"

"It's already done, sir." The slightly robotic voice replied as a section of the wall slid away to reveal a suit that looked quite nice if Raven did say so himself.

"Thank you, JARVIS." Raven said as he started to put on the suit.

"Shall I convert the Iron Man suit to match your new measure to as well, sir?"

"No. Instead, make a light copy of the suit, then convert the copy. I don't want to lose the original suit."

"Of course, sir. Is there anything I should include or take out of the copy?"

Raven thought for a bit, "Take out the flight boots, and change them to another pair of stabilizers instead. I have wings to keep me in the air now, but the stabilizers could always give me a nice push and make a conveniently effective weapon."

"Very well, sir." JARVIS replied. "I'll get to work on it right away. It should be done by the time you get back."

"Thanks again, JARVIS. I've got to get going now." And with that, Raven Smite spread his wings and flew off towards town square.

---AT TOWN SQUARE SOME TIME LATER---

There were quite a few ponies around the Town Square. Some were walking home, and some were just enjoying the beautiful night. At the moment, Ditzy Doo was sitting on a park bench facing the fountain. She leaned back a bit, and closed her eyes with a soft sigh, 'Where is he? It's almost 8:00 and I don't want him to be late for our first date...' [*Giggle* TRIPLE RHYMES!!]

She opened her eyes, and found herself to be looking into the upside-down, orange-flecked, purple orbs of her date. "WAH!" She jumped up into the air and reflexively flapped her wings, quickly gaining a good 50 feet on the ground. She looked down when she heard laughing.

"Hahahahaha! Nice to see you too, Ditzy Doo! Haha!"

Ditzy looked at her date, who was currently floating upside-down in the air, still laughing. She tried to glare at him, she really did, but his laughter was so contagious that eventually, she joined in as well. After they laughed for a little bit, they both calmed down and landed on the ground.

Raven looked over at Ditzy, who was returning his gaze with a slight blush. She was wearing a very pretty red dress, and her mane had been straightned and braided. He was wearing a tan jacket with dark grey pants. Raven grinned, "You look really beautiful."

Ditzy blushed again, "Thanks. You look pretty good yourself."

Raven extended his hoof, "Well then, shall we go?"

Ditzy giggled and took his hoof, "Yes, let's."

As they walked through town, Ditzy asked where they were going. Raven just winked and replied, "You'll see. It's a surprise."

Eventually, they arrived at a restaurant, and the stallion at the front greeted them, "Hello. Welcome to the Golden Draconequuis. Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes." Raven answered. "We have the 8:15 reservation. Table for two under the name Mr. Smite."

After consulting his list for a short moment, the stallion smiled warmly, "Ah, yes. Right this way, Mr. Smite." And he led them to a booth near the back-middle of the restaurant. "Your waiter should be with you shortly."

It was a medium-sized restaurant, with tables in the middle and booths set up along the walls. There was a small dance floor and a stage set up with a with a band playing some light jazz music. Looking over at the stage, Raven got a devious grin on his face as he and Ditzy reached their table. Ditzy, seeing the grin, looked over at him, "What are you planning, Raven?" she asked suspiciously.

"Why, what ever could you mean, Ditzy?" Our auburn protagonist asked with clearly written mock-hurt and shock on his face, "I was just going to request a song of the band on stage!"

He went up to the stage and walked up to the band. On his way up there, he subtly reached into his Pocket Dimension and pulled out a few sheets of paper. When he reached the band, they looked at him, and finished up their song. "Hi, my name is Raven Smite. I'm here on a date and I would really like to impress her, do you think you could help me out?"

The band leader, an orange Pegasus colt with a sun-blonde, spiky mane, nodded and smiled, "Sure, kid, what do you need?"

Raven handed each of the band members a sheet of paper, "I was hoping you could play this song while I sing?"

They each looked over their papers, as if memorizing the notes, then nodded and went to their respective instruments, while Raven walked to the front of the stage and picked up the microphone. Then he stopped, and looked down at it, 'How the hell am I holding a cylindrical object with my hooves?' he wondered, but then he shrugged and chalked it up to latent pony magic.

"Hello, everypony!" he started into the microphone, "My name is Raven Smite, and this next song is dedicated to the lovely mare who my date tonight!"

The song started out with the guitar playing some chords, then some high, synth notes from the keyboard. Then, Raven started to sing.

I am the entertainer,
And I know just where I stand:
Another serenader,
And another long-haired band.
Today I am your champion.
I may have won your hearts.
But I know the game,
You will forget my name,
And I won't be here
In another year,
If I don't stay on the charts.

I am the entertainer,
And I've had to pay my price.
The things I did not know at first,
I learned by doin' twice.
Ah, but still they come to haunt me,
Still they want their say.
So I've learned to dance
With a hand in my pants,
And they rub my neck,
And I write 'em a check,
And they go their merry way.

I am the entertainer,
Been all around the world.
I've played all kinds of palaces,
And laid all kinds of girls.
I can't remember faces,
I don't remember names.
Ah, but what the hell,
You know it's just as well.
'Cause after a while
And a thousand miles,
It all becomes the same.

I am the entertainer,
I bring to you my songs.
I'd like to spend a day or two.
I can't stay that long.
No, I've got to meet expenses.
I got to stay in line.
Gotta get those fees
To the agencies.
And I'd love to stay,
But there's bills to pay,
So I just don't have the time.

I am the entertainer,
I come to do my show.
You've heard my latest record,
It's been on the radio.
Ah, it took me years to write it,
They were the best years of my life.
It was a beautiful song.
But it ran too long.
If you're gonna have a hit,
You gotta make it fit--
So they cut it down to 3:05.

I am the entertainer,
The idol of my age.
I make all kinds of money,
When I go on the stage.
Ah, you've seen me in the papers,
I've been in the magazines.
But if I go cold,
I won't get sold.
I'll get put in the back
In the discount rack,
Like another can of beans.

I am the entertainer,
And I know just where I stand:
Another serenader,
And another long-haired band.
Today I am your champion.
I may have won your hearts.
But I know the game,
You will forget my name,
And I won't be here
In another year,
If I don't stay on the charts.

When the song finished, the entire restaurant erupted into cheers and the stomping of hooves. Raven smiled and turned to the band leader, "Thanks for that, you really helped me out..."

"Maelstrom Whirlpool, weather Pegasus extrodinare, at your service!" the orange Pegasus introduced himself. "And these are my teammates, that's Raven Copywheel on the drums, and Cherry Blossom on the keyboard." he said, pointing to a dark blue unicorn with red eyes and a black mane that, to Raven, looked kind of like a duck, and a red earth pony with pink hair and green eyes.

"We're a band, but we also do a lot of other stuff, if you name it, we can probably do it, and if not, ask us again in a week and we'll have learned how to do it! We go by the name of Team 7, so if you need us, feel free to look us up!" Raven nodded and walked off the stage, while Team 7 resumed the light jazz they were playing earlier.

Raven returned to his table and Ditzy looked at him amazed, "Where did you learn to sing so well?"

Raven smirked, "There are a few things you pick up when you're an immortal, Inter-Dimensional Taveller..."

Ditzy looked like she was about to say something, but the waiter arrives then, "Good evening, sir and madam, the owner of this fine establishment would like to give you your meals free of charge for such an amazing performance." he spoke in a French accent, "What can I get you two to eat?"

"I'll have the Hay Carrot Salad and a glass of water." Ditzy replied.

Raven got a playful gleam in his eye and he turned to the waiter, "Je vais avoir le même, mais avec du cidre à la place."

The waiter looked shocked, but then he smiled widely, "Ah! Vous parlez français? Magnifique! Je n'ai pas encore rencontré quelqu'un qui pourrait effectivement parler ainsi!"

Raven looked a little startled as well, and responded, still speaking French, "En fait, je croyais que vous étiez simplement en utilisant un faux accent, et j'ai parlé en français à plaisanter sur vous. Désolé."

The waiter laughed, "No harm done, sir! Your food will be ready shortly." and he walked to the next table.

Ditzy looked over at Raven, "What was that all about?"

Raven looked at her and winked, "Just ordering my food and maybe making a friend."

The rest of the diner went along relatively uneventful, with Ditzy and Raven making small talk to get to know each other better. When they finished eating, they went for a walk around town and just enjoyed the beautiful night as well as each other's company. Eventually, they arrived at Ditzy's house. Turning to Raven, Ditzy smiled and said, "Thanks for taking me on this date, Raven. I really enjoyed it."

Raven smiled back, "Sure, Ditzy. I enjoyed it too." He turned to leave, "Good night."

"Raven, wait!"

"What is i-mph!?" Raven's question was interrupted by Ditzy's lips meeting his own.

After a few seconds, Ditzy pulled away, and with a quick, "Goodnight." went inside and closed the door.

CHAPTER SIX END

WHOO! FINALLY DONE!!! This took me FOREVER to type. I already have it written down, I just needed to transition it from paper to electronic device of choice with whatever minor changes I perceive for it. This last bit was written on my iPod... And it was fucking torture!! Anyway, I hope you people recognize the three newest characters I put in literally on a whim! With any luck, they should be making appearances in later chapters... It was originally going to be Octavia and Viva La Vida, but this song just fit better, and I didn't feel like making Octavia a unicorn to handle all of the instruments... Also, somewhere in the next two chapters, certain characters from my favorite fighting series will be appearing... A statue with a raven, a fish-boy with control over water and a voice in his head, a cloth climber, and a vampire... I wonder who will figure it out first... But for now, this is Raven Smite, signing out!

Onwards and Upwards: ALLONS-Y

Beat Downs, Bass Guitars, and Back Stories, OH MY!

Chapter Five
Beat-Downs, Bass Guitars, and Back Stories, OH MY!

Josh ran towards Chuck Norris, who just stepped back slightly into a more defensive stance. This is how their spars usually went; with Josh on the offense first, then Chuck Norris on the offense to test his defense. Josh was about 5/8ths of the way to Norris when he dove forward, planted his hands on the ground, twisted, and pushed off into a flying mule kick. "I call this one, BUCK TO THE HEAD!" He yelled as he flew towards his master.

Chuck Norris smirked, and simply put his hands up in a simple cross block. When Josh's feet made contact with his arms, Norris was actually surprised when he was pushed back about 3 feet. Josh springboarded backward off of his opponent and rushed him again, this time going for a regular flying straight kick, but then he somehow started spinning in mid-air on the axis of his right leg. "CORCKSCREW HALF-BUCK!"

Norris caught the spinning limb with ease, but his eyes widened when Josh's momentum kept him spinning, and allowed him to send a roundhouse kick going roughly 50mph straight for his head. "ROUNDHOUSE FOLLOW THROUGH!" Josh yelled.

Norris smirked when he saw his chance. He brought up his forearm and blocked Josh's roundhouse kick. Then he let go of Josh's other foot and did a jumping roundhouse kick to Josh's stomach, sending Josh flying and crashing into one of the dojo's walls.

(Like So)

Josh groaned as he got up. "Okay, that hurt... WAIT A SECOND!" Josh's eyes widened as he pointed an accusing finger at Chuck Norris, "YOU STOLE THAT FROM FLCL!!"

Chuck Norris... Chuckled (Ba-Dum, Tsh!), "What can I say? Canti has some pretty badass moves!"

Josh smirked as he reached into his Pocket Dimension, "Well, if you're going to go there, I guess I'm going to have to get out, THIS!" He yelled as he pulled out a familiar blue Rickenbacker.

Norris's eyes widened, "You wouldn't."

Josh's smirk took on a slightly evil glint, "Wouldn't I? FLCL Form: Atomsk..." And with those words, his body became a glowing red silhouette and dashed at Chick Norris. Just as he was about to swing the instrumental weapon, a loud, electronic, and slightly British-sounding voice emanated throughout the room. "Attention, sir. There appears to be someone at the door."

Josh stopped right in front of Chuck Norris, the bass raised for the strike. "There is? Well damn... Guess we'll have to continue this fight at a later date, Master Norris." He said as the red color dissipated and he replaced the bass in his Pocket Dimension.

Chuck Norris just smiled, "Yeah, and too bad for that. I was just about to win!"

Josh smirked good naturedly, "Like hell you were! I was going to completely wreck your face!" He said as he disabled the simulation.

"You just keep telling yourself that, kid. See you the next time we spar!" And the simulation disappeared.

Josh smiled as he left the combat simulation room. His spars with his masters were always different due to the randomized program he had installed it it. He morphed back into a pegasus as he walked over to a door and opened it to his favorite pony. "Hi Ditzy! What can I do for you?"

Ditzy just looked like she was trying to keep from crying. Noticing this Raven asked her, "Ditzy? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Ditzy sniffled, "Twilight told me about your past. I'm so sorry! I didn't know about your marefriend! I must have brought up some really bad memories! Please don't hate me!"

Raven shook his head, "Ditzy, come inside."

Ditzy noodled, and walked in. She looked around and her eyes widened to the size of basketballs (about 15% larger than normal). This house was HUGE! She looked over at Raven, who was smirking slightly. "Wha... How... I don't even.... Huh? It's bigger on the inside! How?"

Raven chuckled, "Just a bit of borrowed Timelord technology, nothing major. Now, why would you think that I would hate you?"

Ditzy's face fell again as she remembered why she had come in the first place. "Twilight told me about how your love died, and I'm scared that I might have given you reason to hate me after I kissed you in the hospital, because you didn't visit me at all..."

Raven just smiled warmly, "Ditzy, I've been building my house for the past week. I wanted to visit you, but by the time I got my work done for the day, visiting hours would always be over. I could never hate you."

Ditzy's heart soared. He didn't hate her! She still had a chance! "Oh, thank you! I don't think I could stand loosing a friend. It's just that, not many ponies are nice to me, and if I were to lose you, it would really hurt because..." She mumbled the last bit.

Raven cocked his head to the side. "What was that last bit? I couldn't quite hear you."

"I .,,.__.,." She mumbled again.

"Can you please speak up, Ditzy?"

"I REALLY LIKE YOU!" Ditzy shouted.

Raven's eyes widened, then his gaze softened. "Ditzy... I really like you too... But, there are several reasons that we can't be together..."

"WHAT!? WHY?!" Ditzy shouted, tears forming in her eyes again.

Raven sighed, "I could tell you, but you can't tell anypony and you may not like me anymore after I tell you."

"We'll see, now tell me."

"Fine, sit down." After she seated herself on the couch, he started his story. "To start off, I am not from this world. I am an Inter-Dimensional Traveler of the Traveler Corps. I am a Chief Warrant Officer, I'm not actually a pony, and I'm immortal."

"What do you mean you're not a pony? You look like a normal Pegasus to me."

Raven smirked and morphed into a human, "How about now?" Josh asked.

Ditzy sat there, mouth agape. "Huh... Who... WHAT are you?" She all but shouted.

"Well, I'm a human. We are a semi-intelligent race of bi-pedal hairless apes. We don't have magic, at least not your type of magic. But we make up for it with technology, which we have lots of. I am part of an organization which travels throughout the multiverse a d different dimensions thereof, and help those in need. Another thing about this job is that we are immortal, but, as Twilight told you, it often prevents us from having relationships. My girlfriend, Gazz, was also part of the Corps., one of the new recruits.

"She was sent to a certain dimension that every new recruit is sent to to receive advanced training and immortality. This universe is actually one of a popular video game back on human Earth called Team Fortress 2. It's basically two different teams, RED and BLU, who have developed a machine that will rescan them in a certain area if they die, and they spend all of their days fighting and killing each other over who knows what. The immortality bit comes from an Engineer; a mechanical genius who had made a potable version of the respawn device that will bring back anyone who wears it within a few minutes.

"Anyway, she went into the dimension to receive her advanced training and her immortality, and a Sniper- one of the long range hunters- killed her. Now, normally, this would mean she would just come back in the area all of the others do, but she hadn't been there long enough to integrate herself with the main respawn device. Because of this, when she was killed, she stayed dead." Josh had tears running down his cheeks now. "I was devastated by her death, but what I did next disgusts me to this day. I went to 17 different Team Fortress 2 dimensions, dismantled the main respawn device, and slowly and painfully slaughtered each and every person there.

"I was in a blind rage the whole time, and when I calmed down, I realized what I had done; and I was horrified. After that, I threw myself into my work, taking only the most dangerous jobs and letting myself die whenever possible. I thought by doing that I could eventually forgive myself." He turned away from Ditzy, fully crying now. "I can understand if you never want to see me again, Ditzy. I'm nothing but a mon-" He was interrupted by Ditzy throwing her front hooves around in a hug.

"I could NEVER hate you, Raven! You're too nice for anypony to hate you! You're not a monster, you're not a killer, you just lost somepony you love! That doesn't make you bad!"

"But that doesn't take away from the fact that I killed a lot of innocent people. People that didn't deserve to die... I'm really sorry Ditzy, I just don't think I can be with you..." Josh said sadly.

"Why not give it a chance? We go out for a month and if you still feel that way, we just go back to being friends?"

"... Alright. One month. Ditzy, would you like to go out with me tomorrow?"

Ditzy squealed and jumped up, "YES! I would love to! I get off of work around 8:00. Since you don't know where I live, how about we just meet up in Town Square?" At Josh's nod, she squealed again, "Great! See you tomorrow night!" And she flew off.

CHAPTER 5 END

Whew! Done! I typed this all up in about 2 hours, with regular distraction intervals (Bobulator) and it is now 5:00 AM, I have been up all night, and I am going to go for a 30 minute bike ride before traffic starts to pick up. The next chapter will be a bit shorter and the one after that will finally introduce a villain in this story. Also, I wrote this whole thing on an iPad! Do you even know how bloody hard it is to type on an iPad!? Really bloody annoying... Anyways,

Onwards and Upwards: ALLONS-Y!!