Chapters Step Two: Mislaid Missive
Rarity had spent the afternoon going over some recent mail. It seemed some of her mail was still being rerouted to Baltimare, then Canterlot, since she'd told the mail service she would be in residence with production company there. She found a particular bulging envelope that gave her pause.
October 10th
From the Office of Break A. Leg
Head Producer of Starshine Productions
To: Rarity
Re: Mislaid Letter
Hey kid! Kinda awkward but uh... I ended up with a letter in my inbox amongst the stacks of bills and I opened it with the rest. Listen, was this what had you so down? I mean c'mon kiddo, you really don't need to sweat it. So the mare wasn't into you, no need to murder your liver over it.
Any-who, I thought I'd drop you a line and forward this along with it. We opened up with the new play you mentioned, and you were right, Canterlot loved it. Though I can't help but think you might be a bit biased about the name. 'Measure for Measure' wasn't exactly the best comedy the old bard wrote.
I hope you're doing okay, kid. Mare trouble can seem like the end of the world, but it's really not. Just keep in mind, you're a trooper, and troopers don't quit. The world is full of hecklers, but you're a star, baby.
Hit me up if you want work again, the new guy is okay but he just doesn't have your charisma, the whole crew misses you.
Break A. Leg
September 10, 2013
Dear Rarity,
I’m scared.
I always have been scared.
I’m scared of dragons. I’m scared of shadows. I’ve been scared of what I don’t know since I was just a little pony, since I was born. I cannot help it. It is in my nature. I see something that scares me and I hide away from it because...
Oh, nothing. It isn’t important.
Rarity, I want to admit something to you. I’m very scared to do it, but I feel it needs to be done. You see, of all the things that scare me, I guess there is one thing now that scares me more than all of the other frightening things in the world combined.
I don’t really think I have to explain myself, do I? You understand, oh don’t you?
Rarity,
I love you.
I haven’t written to any of the girls in a long time. I haven’t received any letters from them either. The only ones I’ve received since that time are the ones you’ve sent me. I think I’ve cried a little bit after reading through every one. No... I’ll be honest; I’ve cried a lot. I know that you love me, Rarity. I know that you love me so, so much, and I want to tell you what you want to hear... but...
Rarity,
I love you,
but not like how you love me.
And do you know what scares me most? Do you know what I am most afraid of? I didn’t think I had to explain myself, but... oh, maybe I do. What scares me the most is...
is...
Losing.
Losing all of you.
And I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you. But, in the end, I really hurt you, didn’t I? Didn’t I, Rarity? You say that you are still my friend, but...
I’m sorry, Rarity.
I’m so, so very sorry.
With so, so very much love,
Fluttershy
(P.S. I’m sorry about that offer for tea. I would have most definitely come, if I had not been so scared. If... if I had even loved you like a friend should love you...)
Several minutes later, Pinkie found her collapsed on her chaise lounge.
Author's Note
This is not the full chapter. That will be published shortly. This is just to give people context on the next chapter, since not all of you follow the letter writing group that this story is technically a continuation of.
“Where is that blasted ribbon?” Rarity exclaimed as she rummaged through the wreckage that had become her inspiration room. Sixteen half-formed dress designs fluttered to the ground, followed by a roll of silk and an open jar of buttons. The buttons spilled from their container in a shower of colors, only to be caught in Rarity’s magic and funneled back into the same jar.
“Pinkie, do you see the ribbon anywhere?” Rarity asked, looking around the room. “Pinkie?”
“Mmhf hrrm mmhpf,” Pinkie mumbled through a tightly closed jaw. She’d been trying to help Rarity with her project for three hours now, and the unicorn had finally asked her just to stand still for a bit and model for her. Pinkie had been resolutely motionless ever since.
“Darling, are you hiding?” Rarity’s eyes darted around, looking for the location of her friend throughout the room. The ribbon was forgotten as she now seemed to have lost Pinkie . “I can’t do this with you right now; I’m too busy to play games. Will you please come out?”
Pinkie began to sweat lightly. “Mglrrf hrffpm murf! ” she attempted more emphatically.
Rarity stomped a hoof irritably. “Fine, but when I find you, you had better help me find my ribbon! I need it for this design!”
“There isn’t any more ribbon!” Pinkie cried, finally allowing herself the slightest movement.
Rarity jumped in alarm, swinging to face the direction the voice had come from, only to see a few dress forms and a pile of fabric roughly twice pony height that she had apparently formed during her search. She began searching the pile, trying to see if Pinkie was hiding inside of it. “What do you mean there isn’t any more? And where are you?”
“Equestria to Rarity!” Pinkie said, touching the unicorn’s leg with a hoof. “You’re the one who said, ‘Pinkie, please just stand right here and, whatever you do, don’t move! ’” Pinkie sagged a little, looking up guiltily. “But I guess I messed that up now, too…”
Seeing one of her dress forms reach out and touch her caused Rarity to leap backwards, grabbing a set of shears and pointing it in the direction of... “Pinkie!” Rarity scrambled up and threw her arms around her friend in comfort. “Right... I’m so sorry about that, I’ve just been so wrapped up in this photo shoot coming up. I quite forgot about you, which I suppose means you were doing an excellent job. Too good, in fact.” She tightened her hug, giving Pinkie a little nuzzle. “So, what happened to my ribbon, then?”
“Well…” Pinkie said, tracing a small circle repeatedly on the ground with her hoof. She was having trouble meeting the unicorn’s eye. “Remember that present I gave you yesterday?”
Rarity nodded, glancing at the item in question. “Yes, the ribbon storage container, nicely divided to keep the different colors separated. That was the first place I checked, in fact. What about it?”
“I kinda used the last of the ribbon when I wrapped it,” Pinkie said, lowering her ears. “I meant to go out and get some more, but then you were hungry, so I baked us those muffins. And then you were so tired that I ran you a bath. And then I changed your sheets because I know that you like them to be all clean and cozy when you’re all relaxed!” She slowly looked up, wondering what she’d find in the unicorn’s expression. “I-I could go get some more…”
“No, that’s... that’s all right,” Rarity said slowly as she tried not to show her dismay. The ribbon in question was special order direct from Prance. She would simply have to make do with a lesser grade, now. She had thought that ribbon had looked familiar, but at the time she was simply delighted with the thoughtful gift. “Pinkie, I really appreciate you being such a dear, but maybe you could go play with the twins or something. I’ll be fine, I just need to finish these designs and get the prototypes ready. I promise you I will have more time to spend with you once it’s done. Pinkie promise.”
Pinkie scanned the room, taking in the dozens of partially complete dresses. “But, Rarity,” she said, running a hoof along the ragged preliminary stitching that held the ensemble together. “These all have to be done this week!” She turned, throwing her hooves wide, wincing as some bit of stitching on the dress she was wearing tore with a loud riiiip . “Oops. Anyway, you’re just not going to get this stuff done without some help, and Pinkie Pie would never leave you high and dry! I’m here to lend a hoof in whatever way I can! I’ll rib your ribbons and needle your needles! Just show me which haute needs to be coutured and I’ll start couturing !” Pinkie stopped for a moment, putting a hoof to her chin. “Is that like coloring?” she mumbled, deep in thought. “It sounds kinda like coloring. Hot coloring…”
Rarity winced as the stitching ripped, trying to hold Pinkie steady while she slowly removed the gown in progress. “Pinkie, I appreciate it. Really, I do. But there are times I simply need my space! That doesn’t mean you aren’t being a good—” she hesitated, then made herself say it for Pinkie’s sake “—marefriend to me. You’ve been trying so hard, and I love you for it, do you hear? You’re wonderful to me, but right now I need you to go make yourself happy for a while.”
“Rarity…” Pinkie said quietly, meeting the unicorn’s eyes briefly before dropping her gaze to her own hooves. Noticing that they were chipped in precisely the way that Rarity disapproved of, she poked them underneath a nearby piece of loose fabric. “Look, I…” Pinkie swallowed hard. “I know I said I wouldn’t bring it up anymore, but if you would just talk to Fluttershy, I’m sure she’d—”
Rarity’s eyes flashed menacingly, irritated that this was coming up again. She dropped the embrace and stalked to the other side of the room, not looking at Pinkie. “No! She’s clearly not ready to talk to me or she would have come by instead of just sending a letter six weeks late! I won’t—” She wiped a foreleg across her eyes, which had gotten blurry all of sudden. “I can’t.”
“But look at all of it, Rar!” Pinkie said, pulling dresses in various stages of completion from the rolling rack the unicorn had tacked into the corner of the room. “You said this A-frame’s too tame, your sundress is a mess, this sari is sorry,” Pinkie pulled a particularly hideous monstrosity from the back of the rack, frowning at the punctured balloons that were stapled to it, “and you just fainted when you saw mine!” she said, holding the dress over her head. “I’m trying,” Pinkie said, her voice trembling slightly, “but I just don’t know how to do this stuff.” Dropping the dress, she trotted over, placing her hooves on Rarity’s shoulder and looking into her eyes. “Rarity, you haven’t brushed your mane since three days ago, and you haven’t even noticed that your mascara's been all runny since lunchtime. Fluttershy will help if you ask her. I just know it!”
“You don’t understand!” Rarity wailed, “I can’t just go over to her home as if nothing happened.”
Pinkie stomped a hoof. “Why, Rarity?!” she said, beginning to tear up. She bit hard on the inside of her lip, trying to control herself. No, she thought. I’m going to be strong for her! No crying! Struggling with her emotions, she slowly reined them in. “She’s the nice one, remember? She’s probably already forgotten all about—”
“That’s exactly what I asked her to do!” Rarity snapped back. “I asked her to never speak of it again, and what does she do? She writes me a letter speaking of it! No, she hasn’t forgotten, and I doubt she’s forgiven. She’s lying again because it’s the kind thing to do for her ‘poor deluded friend’ who fell in love with her.” She bit back a sob, rubbing her eyes once more. Clearly this was sweat running into them. She was not crying. “No, Pinkie. I can’t fix this by going to her house and giving her a hug. Some things can’t be undone, or unsaid.”
More than anything, Pinkie hated sadness, and despite her very best efforts, Rarity’s misery was overwhelming her. She’d been in a constant war with it since the panicked unicorn received the letter from Cosmarepolitan magazine requesting a shoot of her fall line up. Since the moment her marefriend had ripped open the letter, the boutique had been a whirlwind of frenzied activity and despair. Pinkie tried everything in her arsenal to cheer Rarity up, but so far, she’d failed.
Each night, after tucking the tearful fashionista into bed, Pinkie would walk home and finally allow her smile to fall away. As she would crawl into her own bed, in her bright, cheerful room, she’d take her picture of the six of them all together. Running her hoof gently over the glass, her eyes would be drawn to the same things. She would notice the way that Rarity and Fluttershy were so close to each other. Rarity’s leg hooked around Fluttershy’s shoulders, drawing the pegasus to her tightly as the pegasus laughed.
On the other side of the picture, she was with Rainbow Dash. Rainbow was making a face, pushing Pinkie off to the side. And there she was, giggling. She knew that it was because she’d hit Rainbow with a super-funnerific pun right when the camera went off, but since she’d framed the picture, she just couldn’t get rid of the mental image: Fluttershy being pulled into the group. Pinkie Pie being pushed out. It always made her think the same thing: Why didn’t anypony want her around?
“But what about me, Rarity?! ” Pinkie wailed, hating herself for breaking down. She furiously wiped away a tear with her hoof, grimacing as its ragged edge caught her eye again. “You keep telling me that you want to take it slow until you’re okay again, but you won’t do the thing that’s going to make you okay! I-I’m supposed to b-be your marefriend, but I don’t even know what that means anymore!”
She sobbed aloud, unable to hold it back. “All you want is time alone, and all I am is in the way! You don’t want Fluttershy’s help because of those letters, but what about me?! It’s like, wherever I’m trying to be, she’s there, between us! It’s like we’re at the costume party where I came as Fluttershy, but underneath, I’m Pinkie Pie and you can’t see it!”
Pinkie’s lower lip trembled violently as her grip on her emotions finally broke; Pinkie burst into tears. “I-I don’t even remember the last time we kissed! I’ve tried everything I know to make you happy! I’ve tried presents and cakes and songs and… and… I don’t know what else! I-I just don’t know what else to do!”
Rarity whirled around, rushing to Pinkie side and clasping her in a hug tighter than any she had ever given before, showering her with kisses. “Pinkie! Darling... I-I’m so... I never wanted to... Oh Celestia, look at what I am doing to you!” She continued peppering Pinkie with kisses, only pausing as Pinkie gradually calmed down. “Darling... I know you mean well, I know you’re trying.” She kissed Pinkie on the lips, hard. “But never, ever question whether I love you. You are special, in so many ways that Fluttershy cannot even compare to.”
She lifted Pinkie’s chin as the mare lowered her eyes once more. “This... is exactly what worried me; my not being able to get past all this hurt. That’s why I asked her to pretend it never happened. And now... I am going to ask the same of you. I don’t want to talk about Fluttershy again.” She got a napkin and dabbed at her eyes. Pinkie was right; the sweat was making her makeup run. “I think... I need a break. You can relax for now, there is nothing to help me with, okay?”
“Okay,” Pinkie said quietly. “I… I’ll be at Sugarcube Corner if you want to come and see me.” Pinkie avoided Rarity’s eyes as she walked to the boutique’s entrance, but as she stopped to open the door, a flash of color from the small wastebasket Rarity kept beside it caught her attention. Pinkie stared down at the white and pink wrapping paper that Rarity had discarded there after she’d opened Pinkie’s present. Seeing it there, in the wastebasket, Pinkie wiped her welling eyes again with her ragged hoof. Unwanted, she thought, sniffing. Just like me. Swallowing hard, she stepped out onto the street, closing the door quietly behind her.
“Pinkie?” Mrs. Cake asked through the bathroom door. “Pinkie, dear? Are you okay in there?”
“Um, yes, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie said, splashing loudly. “I-I’m just taking a bath. I got all dirty at Rarity’s.”
“How in Equestria did you get dirty in a place like that?” Mrs. Cake asked. Pinkie could hear her pacing slowly back and forth in front of the door. “Rarity keeps her shop so clean!”
“Well, we were in the back,” Pinkie said, sinking further down into the water. “It’s a lot dustier there.”
“It’s... just that you, well… You seemed a little upset when you came in,” the baker replied.
“Um, I got some of the dust in my eye,” Pinkie replied, wishing with all her heart it had been true. “That’s why I had to jump right in here and wash it out.”
“Okay, dear. Well, let me know if something is bothering you…” Mrs. Cake said hopefully.
“Sure,” Pinkie said quietly. “No problem.”
For a moment, everything was silent. Then Pinkie heard Mrs. Cake trot back down the stairs with a heavy sigh.
“I-I’m sorry, Mrs. Cake,” she whispered. “I just can’t get anything right. Rarity doesn’t want me around. Fluttershy’s acting weird. I hardly even see Rainbow, Applejack and Twilight anymore.” Pinkie squeezed the soap underwater, watching as it shot up into the air. With a blorp , it fell back into the water like a breaching whale. Usually this delighted her, but now Pinkie was just annoyed that she had to fish around in the cloudy water to find the soap again. “And now I’m lying to you,” she said to the door as she gave up on trying to capture the slippery bar of soap. Pinkie folded her forelegs on the edge of the tub, resting her head on them. “If I talked to you, then you’d be sad… like I am.”
Suddenly, Pinkie’s ears perked up as she remembered that she did have someone she could talk to. Plunging her hoof deep into her curly mane, she squinted as she fished around for her bathtime companion. “A-ha!” she said, as her hoof closed on the molded rubber, and she grinned a little as a muffled squeak came from somewhere within the cavernous expanses of her hair. Pulling out Dr. Quackers, she rubbed his bill with her nose a few time, giggling at the way he squeaked, and then dropped him in the water.
“Oh, Dr. Quackers, why didn’t I think of talking to you before?” Pinkie sighed, her smile faltering as memories of the last month played through her mind again. “Lots has happened since you saw us at the spa.” Pinkie leaned back in the tub, raising her hind leg out of the water and watching the way the light sparkled off of the glistening rivulets as they streamed down her shin. “At first, I couldn’t believe it. Rarity kissed me, Doc!” She paused to let the duck take it in. “I know! I couldn’t believe it either! I mean, she’s the prettiest mare in Equestria, and she’s kissing me! ” Pinkie’s eyes misted, and she blinked rapidly. “It was like a coloring book. You know, the kind where you really spend the afternoon getting the colors just right, and in the end it looks like a super-pretty stained glass window?” Pinkie splashed her hoof in the water, and Dr. Quackers nodded as the ripples reached him. “I knew you’d know what I was talking about, Dr. Quackers!”
Grabbing a washcloth from the nearby rack, Pinkie used it to net the soap. “It was like a dream,” she sighed as she scrubbed at the bottoms of her hooves. “Not like one of those weird dreams where Twilight is a turnip or something like that, but a perfect dream; one where you get all the stuff that you ever wanted. We were doing everything together, and I still just couldn’t believe it. We went out to that bar a few more times and danced a whole bunch. We even went to that karaoke place and Rarity got so many of those strawberry duckry things that she got really kissy!”
Dr. Quackers slowly floated in a circle, turning away.
“Oh, sorry!” Pinkie said, blushing. “Too much information, huh? But, the more we went out, the more she kinda…” Pinkie twirled her hoof in the air vaguely. “…I don’t know. Flutterized it.”
Dr. Quackers stared at her.
“Okay, maybe that not the actual name, but I don’t know the right word for it,” Pinkie said, shrugging. “It was always, ‘Pinkie, I really shouldn’t be doing this’ or ‘maybe we should slow down’. I kept trying to show her that it was okay, but the closer I tried to get, the further away she kept going!”
Pinkie twisted the washcloth, wringing the soapy liquid from it before dunking it back in the warm water. She watched as it floated beside her, ghost-like. That’s me she thought. Just hovering there. I’m not up or down or left or right. I’m just there, caught in the middle.
Dr. Quackers bumped into her leg, and she jumped. “Oh, I’m sorry, Doc!” she said, covering her racing heart with her hoof. “I kinda got lost in a thought. Anyway, it was mostly okay until this letter arrived, telling Rarity that Cosmarepolitan was coming—what?” Pinkie goggled at Dr. Quackers. “Oh, come on!” she cried, throwing her hooves up. “It’s just the most important fashion magazine in all of Equestria! You need to get out a little more, Doc!”
Pinkie splashed in the murky water until she found the washcloth again. Wrapping it around a hoof, she used it to scrub behind her ears. “The letter said that they’d be coming by to do a photo shoot of her fall line up, but Rarity was in Baltimare all summer!” Pinkie leaned forward over Dr. Quackers. “She doesn’t have a fall line!”
Dr. Quackers flipped over as the wave hit him.
“Yeah, Rar fainted, too!” Pinkie said, turning the duck right side up again.
Finishing her ears, Pinkie worked the washcloth around her eyes, pursing her lips as she felt the matted fur beneath them. “Since then, well, it’s been... hard. Rarity let me help for a little while, but when the stitching came out all crooked on the dresses I was doing, she got a little snippy. And speaking of snippy, when I cut out all those fun shapes with those Pinkie shear things, she started crying and she wouldn’t stop for hours. I-I didn’t know it was special, one-of-a-kind super-duper fabric. I just thought it was pretty and would look nice on the dresses with all those zig-zags.”
Dr. Quackers dipped his head to look at her sternly.
“Yeah, I know,” Pinkie said, frowning. “I probably should have asked, but she told me to get creative.”
Hanging the washcloth back on the rack, Pinkie leaned back in the tub, allowing the warm water to reach her chin. “And it all just kinda stopped, Doc,” Pinkie said, looking up at the ceiling. “I know she’s busy, but even before that, she was acting like she didn’t want me around. She kept saying ‘Fluttershy this’ and ‘Fluttershy that’, and I kept saying that I wasn’t Fluttershy, but she wouldn’t listen. Every time I tried to snuggle or kiss or hug, I could feel her get all stiff and pull-backy and I knew that she was thinking about Fluttershy again.”
Pinkie sighed, slowly waving her legs back and forth under the water and watching the ripples bounce back and forth. “Now, Rarity is trying to be nice, but she doesn’t want me around.”
The ripples hit Dr. Quackers, and he shrugged, bobbing from side to side.
“Yeah, I know the shoot will be over soon, but the Fluttershy thing won’t,” Pinkie said, her voice beginning to crack as she teared up again. “It’s getting worse all the time, and I-I don’t want to be Flutterized anymore!” Pinkie swallowed hard, splashing water on her face to wash away her tears. “I-I just keep trying to be around, you know?” she said as Dr. Quackers snuggled up to her leg sympathetically. “I keep trying to show her that I’m Pinkie Pie , and that I want her, but I’m just not sure she wants me .”
Dr. Quackers stared at her blankly.
“Maybe she really wants Fluttershy, and that’s why she won’t go talk to her,” Pinkie whispered, squeezing her eyes closed and covering them with her hooves. “I think she’s scared of how she’ll feel when she sees her.”
Riding a wave, Dr. Quackers tapped repeatedly against her rear hoof.
“Huh?” Pinkie said, as she looked down at him. “Get back on my hooves? Whattaya mean?”
As a particularly large ripple hit him, Dr. Quackers fell again, head-butting her leg.
“Fight for her? But, maybe she doesn’t want me anymore. I’m supposed to be her fish, but I’m just an old carp and she’s this beautiful fisherpony with a… uh… sequiny raincoat?” Pinkie finished lamely, furrowing her brow. “I don’t know. That sounds weird. I do know that she’s perfect and I’m just a silly pink pony who loves cakes and confetti.”
Pinkie watched with some concern as Dr. Quackers finally flipped completely over. “No, I don’t want to give up, but how am I supposed to compete with Fluttershy? She’s pretty and quiet and nopony ever crosses the street and hurries along when they see her like they do when I come around. Plus, she knows all about sewing and fashion and all the stuff Rarity really likes. Not like me.” Dr. Quackers suddenly flipped back over with such force that he shot an inch or two out of the water. “Well, it’s easy for you to say that I should be my normal bouncy self, but that’s not working so well. Still…”
Pinkie drew a deep breath, wiping her eyes one final time. “You’re right, Doc! I’m her fish, and I don’t want to be thrown back, so I won’t throw her back!” she said, slamming down her hoof forcefully. She winced as water shot across the bathroom. “I’m going to figure out a way to get un-Flutterized! Then Rarity will love me again!”
Pinkie picked up Dr. Quackers, squeaking him a few times before planting a kiss on the top of his head. “Thanks, Doc,” she said. “You’re a life-saver!”
Rarity pinned up another section of fabric on the dress form containing the gown Pinkie had recently vacated. It still smelled slightly of vanilla and cinnamon, and just a hint of raspberry. You made her cry... You’re a horrid, useless marefriend... You don’t deserve her, or anypony else. Her eyes blurred again, and she wiped a hoof across them. She swore quietly as she pricked the frog of her hoof with the pin.
She levitated a piece of cloth from the scraps bin, intent on using it to wipe the blood from her hoof, but paused when she recognized the bizarrely cut swath of Saddle Arabian silk that she had become so terribly upset over. She brought it closer, clutching it to her breast.
A tail wrapped itself around her leg as a set of whiskers rubbed up against the other. She looked down to have her eyes met with those of her cat’s. Opal let out a plaintive meow and walked towards her food dish.
“Just a moment, baby. Mommy is having a crisis.” Rarity said, still holding the silk tightly. It wasn’t such a bad cut after all, surely she could reshape it just a bit. Oh, that would work, it would make a nice silk handkerchief. That would be wonderful for dabbing my eyes. Perhaps with a nice pink trim?
Opal gave her a cross look, walking back over to her and sitting down near her feet. She cocked an ear in Rarity’s direction, yawning and stretching.
“Oh, don’t be like that. I’ve heard you yowling at toms late at night. I’m not the only one having romance issues.”
Opal sneezed daintily, looking at her sidelong, as if to say ‘What of it?’
Rarity fetched some shears, carefully holding the swatch in her magic. Yes, there is a place for you, my little oddity. I think I will monogram you, and then drop you as a sign of favor. She paused, wondering if Pinkie would understand. Hmmm, perhaps I will just wrap you up as a present instead.
A paw batted at her leg, nearly causing her to miss her mark. She looked down to see Opal casually flexing her claws. “Very well, baby. No need to get testy.” She laid the newly cut piece of silk down, walking to the kitchen to get Opal her food.
When Opal was tended to, Rarity sat back down and began working on the gift once more. She hummed happily as she embroidered the hem with alternating balloons and diamonds, thinking of that moment of pure joy on Pinkie’s face when she received it. It was interesting and adorable to see; Pinkie had so many smiles, they were nearly a language. Perhaps I should begin cataloging them , she thought wryly. But there was one smile in particular Rarity loved above all.
It said so many things with a simple expression. It spoke of thanks, and surprise, and love. But these were just the surface feelings. It was a very rare smile, and one Rarity had only come to recognize because she had witnessed it more than once. It was the smile that lit up her face when she’d realized her friends had thrown her a surprise birthday party... and the smile she’d had after their first kiss.
She wanted so badly to see that smile again. Rarity knew she was a trying mare at times, but she really did appreciate Pinkie’s intent to help her, even if the results were contrary to the intent.
She looked down, quite pleased with the result of her work. In the corner of the handkerchief she monogrammed Pinkie’s initials, then carefully folded it. Now, I just need something to wrap you up with.
Her eyes darted around the room, and fell to her waste paper basket. The wrapping paper Pinkie had used for her gift was at the bottom. She lifted it up, eyeing it critically. She had been a bit excited when Pinkie had presented her with the box done up in fancy ribbon and wrapped in pink and white paper. It was the little touch that had made it all the more special. Pinkie had remembered her mentioning that eggshell white went well with pink.
She straightened the paper, smoothing out any wrinkles in the edges, and recut it to fit her gift. She found it terribly fitting to be reusing the same paper, much as she had repurposed the silk for the gift. It made her smile to think that, in a very real way, this gift was something that they had worked on together.
Below the paper, she spied the lengths of her french lace ribbon that had been used to carefully and lovingly adorn Pinkie’s present to Rarity. She retrieved it from the basket, and used it to do the same to Pinkie’s gift.
Yes, this will do nicely. I think it’s time I saw my little baker, and gave her a little sugar. She blushed, then nodded determinedly.
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corn—Oh, hello, Rarity!” Cup Cake said with a smile. “You’re a bit late for muffins, but I just pulled out a pan of those croissants you always rave about. Shall I get some out for you?”
“Hello, Cup. Just here to see Pinkie, actually—” Rarity paused as the smell from the kitchen assailed her nostrils. “Wait, croissants, you say?”
Cup nodded. “Still hot enough to melt butter.”
“Um... half a dozen, if you please. Keep them warm for me, will you?”
“Of course. Pinkie is upstairs, taking a bath. Did you notice her looking a little down when she was over at your shop?” Cup didn’t outright say it, but the implication did not have to be spelled out for her. This was Cup’s way of asking if Rarity had upset Pinkie.
Rarity cringed, looking at the stairs leading to Pinkie’s room. “It’s nothing horrible, Cup. I was a bit snappish with her over something that wasn’t her fault. I came over to make up.”
Cup frowned at Rarity. “See that you do, young mare. She may not be my daughter, but I love her like one. I won’t have her mistreated, do you understand me?”
Rarity wilted under that maternal gaze, nodding hurriedly. “I promise you, Cup, I didn’t mean to hurt her. That’s the last thing I want.”
Keeping her eyes fixed on Rarity for a long moment, Cup’s gaze finally softened. “Go, make up.”
Rarity climbed the stairs slowly, uncertain of her reception when she reached Pinkie’s room. She despised this feeling; it ate her up inside to know that she’d managed to hurt Pinkie for exactly the reason she’d feared she would when they’d begun seeing each other. She wished she’d never read that damned letter. She’d just begun to properly get over the hurt in her heart, then along comes a heartfelt apology from her former best friend to send her emotions into turmoil again. She needed to focus on her present, and she could never do that by clinging to the past.
She knocked on the door, waiting with bated breath for Pinkie to answer.
“Hello?”
“Pinkie? It’s Rarity. May I come in?”
She heard scrambling on the other side of the door. In a moment the door was opened wide.
“I’m sorry!” They both said simultaneously, and for a few confused moments both of them were talking at once, to the point where neither could understand what the other was saying. They both stopped at the same time, and silence hung over them like a dark cloud.
“I… I brought you a gift,” Rarity said, finally. “It’s not much, but I was looking at that silk you were working on and I made you something nice out of it...” She brought the present from behind her back with her magic. “I... I know I have been very trying of late...”
Pinkie batted the gift aside. It was in between them, and right now, that was the last thing Pinkie wanted. Charging forward, she threw her legs around the unicorn. “You came!” she said, her voice trembling. “I… I was scared that you wouldn’t come because I keep messing everything up!” Pinkie brushed Rarity’s lips with her own, seeking a kiss before pulling back, unsure.
She settled for nuzzling Rarity’s cheek, hoping that the unicorn would accept that much from her. “I’m the one who’s been trying because I keep trying to try harder, but the harder I try, the more trying my trying gets!” Pinkie sat down, releasing her embrace, but allowing her hoof to slide through Rarity’s mane, down her face to cup the unicorn’s cheek briefly before falling to the floor. “I’m so, so sorry, Rarity. I know I’m not Fluttershy, but—oops!” Pinkie covered her mouth with a hoof. She pulled back, searching Rarity’s face for anger.
Rarity winced internally; she really had made her poor Pinkie feel inadequate. She pushed Pinkie’s hoof aside with her hoof, leaning in for the kiss she’d been afraid to take. Pinkie’s eyes opened wide, snapping shut as she pressed her lips back to Rarity’s. When the kiss was broken, Rarity smiled happily. “You silly little filly. Did you truly think I would let you go? You’re mine , remember?” She nodded to the bed, “I think it’s past time you and I had a little talk about... that mare.”
Pinkie followed her to the bed, sitting down next to Rarity with a whump . Rarity took a deep breath. It was story time. “Let’s see, where to begin... Well, when I was a much smaller Rarity, I met a pegasus foal by a pond. She said she had fallen from the sky, and was lost and unable to fly home. Even then, she was such a pretty child. I was quite enamored with her, though I did not understand why at the time. I took her to an adult, and expected I would never see her again. Years later, she came back, and we became fast friends, she and I. I suppose... that was when I began to love her—”
The story went on for some time, detailing the highs and lows of their friendship, and the growing uncertainty Rarity had about her feelings. She talked about the letters she’d sent to Fluttershy, and her elation that her feelings were returned, followed by her deep depression to find it was all a lie.
She concluded with the final message Fluttershy had sent her. “And there you have it, my love. No, you are not her, but neither was she the pony I always thought she was. I had built her up in my head as this perfect angel-pony, but...” She paused, sighing. “I suppose that’s the trouble. She felt so badly about disappointing me that she lied about her feelings. And now, here we are, a wonderful friendship broken because of my wanting more of her than she could give me.”
“But… I don’t understand,” Pinkie said, staring down at her hooves as they twisted around each other. “It just seems like…” Pinkie stopped for a moment, collecting herself. “It just seems like maybe you’d be better with her,” Pinkie finished, her voice breaking on the last syllable. “I want you so much, but I’m a laughy-bouncy-singy pony that doesn’t know anything about sewing or fashion or making tea for a Canterloty-style gala.” Pinkie took hold of Rarity’s hoof, holding it between her own. “Please, Rarity,” she whispered, staring into the unicorn’s eyes intently. “If you still want her, I…” Pinkie swallowed hard. “I have to know. Dr. Quackers said I should fight for your love, and I’m ready to, but not if it’s already too late.” Pinkie paused, searching Rarity’s eyes. “I won’t hate you, I promise, but, well, you’re kinda having a hard time even saying her name. I don’t know what that means…”
Rarity shook her head sadly. “Darling, that’s what I mean when I said she’s not the pony I thought. It’s not her fault, she just doesn’t like mares that way. I always thought I was the same in that respect, save for her, and I built that up in my head. I thought that I could be attracted to her when normally I was only attracted to males meant we were somehow destined for each other. Then you... wonderful, funderful you...” She held Pinkie’s face with both hooves. “You made me see. You asked me if you could be mine, and in that moment, I just knew I could come to love you so easily. I’m just not that hung up on form. I loved Fluttershy for who she was, and I love you for who you are. But her... she can’t love me that way.” She finished, blushing.
“So… you’re not wishing I was her?” Pinkie said, gripping Rarity’s hoof tightly. “Like, for really?”
Rarity leaned in for another kiss, pecking Pinkie on the cheek. “Never, my lovely. There is only one of you, and I wouldn’t ever trade you for anything!”
Pinkie pounced, tackling Rarity and pushing her down onto the bed. Somewhere between laughing and crying, she twisted her hoof into Rarity’s mane, steering the mare into a deep kiss, and then another, this time ending with a tiny nibble on Rarity’s bottom lip. Finally, wiping her eye with a hoof, she rolled to one side, covering her eyes with her hooves. “Oh, Rarity,” she said quietly. “I guess I’ve been kinda silly.”
“You have been more than a little silly.” Rarity leaned up and kissed Pinkie on the nose. “Fortunately for us both, I rather like silly.”
“Well, it was all going so well,” Pinkie said, rolling onto her side and propping herself up with an elbow. “We started seeing a lot of each other, and even though you said that you weren’t ready for... stuff yet, well, stuff kept happening! We had days that were stuffed full of stuff, like when I stuff myself full of stuffing during the holidays but then I still want more stuffing, even though I’m stuffed!”
Rarity sat up, holding up her head with a hoof as she turned sideways to face Pinkie. “Well, it was just too easy with you. I love being with you; you make me smile. I just... I wish I could do the same for you more often, but that’s not my talent. I suppose we’re a bit like the masks I would see hung up at the theater, you and I... I am drama, you are comedy. Another way we match well.”
“But, just as stuff would happen, you’d stop. You’d say that you weren’t ready for stuff, but you totally were! You’d even start the stuff sometimes, and then stop it!” Pinkie’s eyes began to water again, and she wiped them with the back of her hoof. “So, I thought maybe, I wasn’t the one you wanted stuff with,” she continued, looking away and biting her lip. “I thought maybe Fluttershy was who you really wanted. And then that letter came and you got really super busy, and I kept trying to help, but then I’d mess up and you’d yell at me, and I thought maybe it was because I was the wrong mare. I thought maybe you really wanted some mare that could sew… and stuff.”
“Never the wrong mare, darling. Just... the wrong time. I worried so much about whether I was over her that I held myself back from falling in love with you . And that’s not fair to you.” She smacked a hoof down the bed for emphasis. “No longer! I refuse to keep punishing us both for something that isn’t anypony’s fault.” She pressed Pinkie down with a hoof, climbing atop her, her mane hanging over them both like a tent. “You are mine and I am yours.” She leaned down and closed the distance between their lips once more. Raising herself, she licked her lips, marveling that Pinkie always seemed to taste of something sweet. Hmmm, I wonder if she tastes as sweet everywhere... “Come on, I believe somepony owes me a dance.”
“Are we going dancing?” Pinkie said, looking at her calendar. “Oh no! I must have forgotten to put a heart sticker on today!” Struggling with a drawer on a nearby end table, she flipped end over end as it suddenly opened. As the drawer flew through the air, hundreds of sparkly, heart shaped stickers, each with Rarity’s face on them, fell to the ground in a gentle rain. “Oops,” Pinkie said, grinning ruefully. “I guess I stuffed too many of them in there.” Peeling one away from its backing, she stuck it on the day’s date. “There!” she said, beaming.
“I meant...” Rarity paused, collecting herself. In the heat of the moment she had intended something a bit more risque. Innuendo is not her strong suit, Rarity. “Nevermind. Yes, love, let’s go dancing. I’ll beg off this photo shoot and tell them to come back in the winter instead. I’ll teach you to mambo.” I’ll teach you the horizontal version another day.
Pinkie’s mouth dropped open. “But, Rarity !” she gasped. “You said it yourself; it’s the most important shoot of your career!” Her hooves began twisting around each other again. “I-I’d love to go dancing with you, but your fall line—”
“My line doesn’t mean more than you do. There will be others. They come every year, after all. All I have with you is a mere lifetime. Hardly enough.” Rarity got up, allowing Pinkie to do the same. “Remember to bring bits. I have some tension to burn off.” One way or another, she was going to entwine herself around this mare tonight.
“Waitaminute!” Pinkie said, bounding to the other side of the room. “We can’t leave yet!”
“Oh?”
Pinkie lunged, snatching the expertly wrapped gift Rarity had brought her from where it had landed on her hamper. “I haven’t opened your present!” she squealed, her eyes shining as she beamed at Rarity. “Oh, I wonder what it is!”
Rarity smiled back, watching Pinkie tear into the gift like Opal would a fresh fish. “Just a little something we made together, darling. I hope you’ll like it.”
Pinkie hummed as she worked the feather duster along the rows of shelves Rarity used for storage in her workroom. “I guess she has been busy!” she said, attacking a particularly large pile of dust and loose bits of string. “Huh. She’s always saying that the only place that she likes to be dirty is the bedroom, but it’s pretty clean in there, too!” Pinkie sat for a moment, putting her hoof to her chin. “Gonna have to ask her about that. Maybe I should be putting this dust in there instead of the wastebasket.” Pinkie looked at the detritus covering the ends of the feathers. “But that would be kinda weird. Must be a unicorn thing.”
Smiling, Pinkie stepped back, admiring the tidy shelves. “Oh, she’s gonna love it!” Pinkie said, clapping her hooves. “Okay, now to arrange these dress forms.” Several of the models had been knocked over, and the rest sat hap-hazardly around the room, evidence of the frenzy of creation Rarity had been in for weeks. “Let’s get you girls all lined up!” Pinkie said, righting one that was lying on its side. “There you go.”
Pinkie squinted at a swatch of blue fabric that had been underneath the dress form. Picking up the cloth, Pinkie rubbed it between her hooves, enjoying the smoothness of the designer material. Grinning, she tied it around the dress form’s neck like a kerchief. “There, now you kinda look like Rainbow!” Setting the feather duster on the dress form’s back, Pinkie broke out into giggles. “Rainbow, you’ve got some really dirty wings!” she snorted.
Spying a tangled web of yellow yarn from beneath Rarity’s workbench, she grabbed it, working diligently to unknot the unkempt ball. “I wonder if Opal got to this,” she muttered. “Either that, or Rarity’s a really bad knitter.”
After several minutes of intense concentration, and one tearful breakdown, Pinkie finally cried out in victory, thrusting the neat ball high overhead. “That’s right, yarn! I’ve foiled your evil skein! Now, you get to be Fluttershy.” Grinning, she wound the yarn around and around the nearest dress form’s neck, covering it in soft yellow from chin to chest. Humming again, she pushed it next to where Rainbow stood.
Hunting through the discarded bits of scrap on the floor, Pinkie threw away what she couldn’t use, always keeping an eye out for bits of cloth and other materials that reminded her of her friends.
The next form became Twilight with a horn she made from the cardboard center of a fabric roll and a small bit of purple ribbon. Draping the dress form with purple silk, she clapped her hooves together before pushing it next to Fluttershy.
As her hunt continued, she squealed when she found some apple appliqués in the corner. Using several safety pins, Pinkie attached them to the dress forms flank, and then grabbed one of Rarity’s half-finished sun bonnets. Plopping it onto Applejack’s head, cocking her head to the side, Pinkie’s brow furrowed as she eyed the dress form critically. “Close enough,” she said, shrugging as she pushed Applejack into the neat row.
For some reason, Rarity had an over-abundance of pink fabric lying around on the floor, and Pinkie used it to mummify the next dress form. Stepping back to admire her handy work, she burst out laughing, rolling on the floor and covering herself in bits of multi-colored string. “I look like a ball!” she snorted. She’d wrapped the dress form in so much material that it was impossible to even tell what it was anymore. “I guess I am pretty fluffy!” she said, pressing her mane repeatedly with her hoof.
Standing and dusting herself off, Pinkie arrived at the last dress form. It was lying on its side, covered with a cloth tape measure and several pieces of purple taffeta. Tenderly, Pinkie wrapped her hooves around and gently righted it. “And you’re Rarity,” she said, running a hoof along the blank contours of the dress form’s face. Humming again, she set to meticulously cleaning the model, picking off each bit of string. Without realizing it, Pinkie began to sing.
They say that love’s a mystery. And we don’t have much history. But when she’s gone, it leaves a space. That nopony else can quite replace.
But I’m just a silly filly. Lost when wearing something frilly. And still she took the time to see, The pony hidden inside me.
Walking to Rarity’s wardrobe, she picked out a beautiful white and purple gown. Catching her reflection in the wardrobe’s mirrored door, she pressed the gown against her body, encircling it with a hoof and snuggling her cheek into its shoulder.
I swam alone, For so very long. Wondering what, I was doing wrong. But she dove in, To that deep blue sea. Just to come and, Swim alongside me.
Bringing the gown back to the dress form, she carefully began dressing it, admiring each button and seam. As always, the craftsmanship was absolutely perfect.
Now every day’s a wonderland, Her kisses shock like thunder and, Her fur, her hooves, her horn, her eyes! Each moment brings a new surprise!
We fit just right, like hoof in glove, And so I bake, and laugh, and love! All ‘cause she took the time to see, The pony hidden inside me.
With a pair of scissors, Pinkie drilled two small holes in a cardboard tube, and then hunted for a bit of white fabric.
I swam alone, For so very long. Wondering what, I was doing wrong. But she dove in, To that deep blue sea. Just to come and, Swim along with me.
But I just think it feels so right. Bubble-gum pink and eggshell white. So I’ll be near, come rain or shine. ‘Cause I love to hear her say, “You’re mine!”
Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief when she finally moved Rarity’s industrial sewing machine and found several feet of white silk ribbon. Snipping it in two, she threaded the first half through the holes and tied the horn to Rarity’s forehead. She used the other half to wind around the horn, giving it a white, pearlescent sheen. Smiling, she pushed Rarity into place, making sure to snuggle Pinkie up next to her.
I’ve given up my heart, you see, It feels as though it’s been set free. Filled with joy, and all because, I never knew how sad I was,
‘Cause one fish is a lonely thing, But two fish is a cause to sing! I’m hers ’cause she looked to see, The pony hidden inside me.
Rarity paused at the top of the stairs. She had been coming down to check on Pinkie, and heard her impromptu song of joy and love, and while she hadn’t wanted to interrupt, she could not help but add her own verse. She sang out, clear and strong, delighted at the acoustics that carried her voice to her beloved. She walked downstairs slowly, singing a final refrain.
Oh, my nights were so dark and long, Lacking laughter. Lacking song, but, My pretty bouncy ball of fun, Aimed for my heart and I was won.
I spent my life Looking for my love I cried “unfair!” To the stars above. You came along At my darkest time And asked if you Could please be all mine!
As she sang the final note, she closed the distance between them, wrapping her hooves around Pinkie and kissing her passionately. “That was a lovely surprise. How are we doing down here?”
Pinkie bounced rapidly up and down, pointing to the decorated dress forms. “Look, Rarity! I made us!” she said proudly. “We look pretty good, dontcha think?”
Rarity looked over the odd creations Pinkie had made, trying not to laugh. She did think it was adorable for the effort, at least. “Well, I seem to look fabulous, but you do yourself a disservice.”
“What do you mean?” Pinkie said, studying her model. “It looks just like me! I think so, at least.” Pinkie looked away, rubbing one front hoof with the other. “But, you know what?” she asked. “Now that I’m looking at our dress friends, well, it kinda reminded me that we haven’t seen a lot of our real friends.”
Pinkie walked to the Applejack model, pushing her closer to Twilight. “Applejack is always with Twilight. Rainbow, too,” she continued, pulling the Rainbow dress form over into the three-mare group. “And, well, Fluttershy…” Pinkie said, giving the dress form a long stare before turning to Rarity. Without Rainbow Dash and Twilight on each side, Fluttershy stood alone. “She kinda doesn’t have anypony, I guess. I know you don’t wanna hear it, but…”
Rarity huffed, upset that the name was being spoken again. “That’s as she wishes. If she wanted to see me, she would. She has chosen to be alone.” Rarity pointed at the offending dress form. “I invited her to come talk things over before she lied to me about how she felt. I said to come by for tea so we could talk things through. The invitation remains even today, but she never shows.” She looked away from ‘Fluttershy’, back to Pinkie. “It’s not like she asked me to come by her home, and I won’t force myself on her.”
Pinkie lingered for a moment, gently touching Fluttershy’s ear before walking to Rarity. “Maybe I could tell you about the first party that I threw for her. It was kind of a disaster.” Pinkie sat, hanging her head. “You see, I’d just moved to Ponyville, and I’d met her when some other ponies introduced us. I kept trying to be really friendly, but I just couldn’t get her to really say anything. She kept looking away and blushing and saying ‘um’ a whole lot. So I thought maybe if I threw her a party, she’d feel really special and it would help out.”
Sighing again, Pinkie stood and began to pace. “I went all out. Balloons. Music. Games. The whole works. I invited everypony in town. And you know what happened?”
Rarity thought for a moment, trying to picture the scene. “She stood in a corner, making herself as small as possible, and spoke in small squeaks whenever anypony got near?”
“Not even!” Pinkie said, stomping a hoof. “She didn’t even show up! I did all that work just to make her happy, and she stayed home! Well, I was pretty upset, so I trotted right on over there and knocked on her door! I wanted answers! And eventually, after two hours of knocking and yelling, she opened the door!” Pinkie looked away, folding her ears. “But… when she did, she was crying , Rarity. I’d wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but she was so sad! It turns out that she really wanted to go to the party, but she was super-nervous and she just couldn’t leave the cottage. It was really tearing her up!”
Pinkie rose, drawing herself up to her full height. “So I ran right back to the party, and told everyone to have a really great time. Then I gathered up a few cupcakes and a little punch, and I got back to Fluttershy as fast as I could. We sat on the couch and ate the cupcakes, and I tried to bring her a party on her level. One that she could be at without feeling scared and worried!” Pinkie walked back to Rarity, running a hoof through her luxurious curls. “After that, I made sure to make small parties for Fluttershy, until she got more used to the attention. Now, she almost always comes when I invite her.” Pinkie looked up at Rarity, searching her eyes. “Does that help?”
“No, it really doesn’t, Pinkie. She comes when you invite her, but not when I do.” Rarity slumped. “I-I told her I was sorry, so many times, and she never wrote back for weeks. I... just wanted us to be normal again, no uncomfortable secrets out in the open muddling things up. I wanted my friend back.” She sniffed loudly. “But she was too afraid of me! As if I was going to pounce on her and make her do things.”
“Well, what I mean is that Fluttershy is Fluttershy, and you have to treat her like Fluttershy,” Pinkie said softly, holding Rarity’s cheek in her hoof. “I wanted her to come to that party so bad , but in the end, I had to bring a party to her. A little party. One that didn’t frighten her, because being with ponies is better than getting your own way all the time.” Pinkie dropped her hoof and looked out the window. “I think so, at least,” she added after a moment.
“Fine, go visit her. Do what you wish. I won’t stop you.” Rarity pointedly turned away from the dress form. “Maybe you could remind her of my offer for tea. Tell her... wine is off the table, though. She’ll... she’ll know what I mean.”
Pinkie walked over to Rarity and planted a kiss on her ear. “I-I know it’s been hard,” she said. “Sometimes, when you think nopony’s looking, you just stare out the windows and tear up a little.” Pinkie bit her lip, dropping her eyes to the ground. “Maybe I’m being selfish, but I want all of you, Rarity. Not just the parts that Fluttershy’s not in. I just can’t see you hurting anymore.” Pinkie drew Rarity into an embrace, nuzzling her. “It’ll all work out. You’ll see.”
“That’s just my allergies! The weather has been a bit erratic lately, probably because Dash is off the weather team,” Rarity said, eyes darting back to the trio of dress forms meant to represent their other friends. “But you... you should still go to her. Somepony should.” She finished, looking away from the group once more.
“Allergies, huh?” Pinkie replied doubtfully. “Anyway, I’ll go talk to her,” Pinkie said, a smile spreading slowly across her face. “But first, I’m gonna remind you that you said you wanted to take me out to dinner tonight!” Pinkie’s stomach rumbled loudly. “Heh heh!” Pinkie said, looking down at it. “I guess my tummy’s reminding you, too!”
Rarity laughed, not so much amused as relieved that the conversation had passed on to less stressful topics. “Yes, let’s go take care of that tummy, then.”
Pinkie hummed to herself as she bounced along the familiar path to Fluttershy’s cottage. Before they had all left for the summer, she’d traveled the path at least once every few days, but now things were different; the summer had changed everything. Her last visit seemed like it was a lifetime ago.
Rounding the final curve, Pinkie leapt forward with greater speed. With the cottage now in sight, she could barely wait to visit her friend again. She’d been staying away for Rarity’s sake, but she’d missed Fluttershy terribly. Just seeing the cottage again made her heart swell with joy.
We’ll get everything all fixed up! Pinkie thought, grinning as she reached another leap’s apex. Maybe Rarity and Fluttershy are a little scared to talk right now, but down inside, they miss each other. I just know it!
As Pinkie bounded into the yard, a cacophonous racket filled the air as chickens and ducks ran for cover. Pinkie waved as the curtain on a nearby window twitched. She’d caught just a barest hint of yellow and pink before it had fallen back into place.
“Fluttershy, it’s Pinkie!” she said, knocking on the door. “Today’s my day off, so I wanted to come visit.”
The cottage’s front door open a crack as Fluttershy peeked out with a single blue eye. “Um, are you… by yourself, Pinkie?”
“Nope!” Pinkie said, continuing quickly as Fluttershy’s eye widened with alarm. “I brought twelve friends with me!” Opening her saddlebag, she pulled out the box of cinnamon rolls that she knew were the pegasus’ favorite. “See?” she said, holding the box open in front of her.
“But, um, Rarity’s not…” Fluttershy replied, her eye sinking lower as it darted back and forth, searching the area around Pinkie.
Sighing, Pinkie lowered the box of rolls. “No, she didn’t come,” she said sadly.
With a rattle, Fluttershy undid a chain lock and opened the door. “Oh, okay. Well, please come in, Pinkie,” she said, opening the door just wide enough for her friend to squeeze through.
“Ooh, a new one!” Pinkie said, eying the chain lock. Pinkie silently counted the door’s various bolts and knobs, pointing to each as she tallied. “But this door’s kinda lockariffic already, dontcha think? You even put a little lock on this bigger one!”
“Well,” Fluttershy replied as she began relocking the door, “you really can’t be too careful. I mean, anypo—I mean, some vicious creature could come by.”
“I guess,” Pinkie said, wandering into the kitchen. Fluttershy winced as Pinkie began rooting around Fluttershy’s cabinets, causing the flatware to clatter loudly. “Did you move those little plates?”
“They’re on the left now,” Fluttershy replied, pulling open a drawer and retrieving a butter knife. “I’ve had some time on my hooves recently so I moved some things around…” Falling silent, she flew to the larder and brought back her butter dish.
Pinkie lowered her nose into the open box of rolls she’d placed on the small table, inhaling. As her knees began to feel weak, she grabbed the edge of the table for support. “Don’t they smell yummy?!” she asked, licking her lips. Reaching in, she grabbed one and placed it on a plate, sliding it over to Fluttershy.
“Oh, yes!” Fluttershy said, the barest hint of a smile beginning to creep across her face. “You made them, didn’t you?” Her smile widened a bit as Pinkie nodded vigorously. “Your cinnamon rolls are better than anypony else’s.” Taking the lid off of the butter dish, Fluttershy scooped out a tiny bit and spread it in small, gentle strokes across the top of her roll.
“Oh, that’s not true!” Pinkie said, grabbing another roll and cramming the entire thing into her mouth. Fluttershy waited patiently as Pinkie mumbled several unintelligible things around the pastry. “But besides those ponies,” she finally continued, licking icing from her hoof, “mine are pretty good, I think.”
“I think they’re the best because you make them for your friends,” Fluttershy said, taking a small bite. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back and savored the spicy sweetness. “They’re made with love.”
Pinkie flushed scarlet, beaming before the smile slowly faded from her. “I might be a great baker, but I haven’t been so good at being a friend,” she said, dropping her eyes to the plate she’d failed to use. Placing her hoof on it, she began slowly turning it in a circle. “I wanted to come and say that I’m sorry.”
“What?” Fluttershy said, placing her hoof on her chest. “Pinkie, you’re always a great —”
“No,” Pinkie said, shaking her head. “No, I wasn’t.” Grabbing another roll from the box, she dropped it onto her plate and began tearing small bits off of it. “This summer, you stopped writing all of a sudden,” she continued, stuffing a section of roll into her mouth. “I had the feeling that something was wrong, but got so busy running all over Equestria trying to put together this party that never even happened, that I didn’t come and help you when you needed it.” Pinkie grabbed Fluttershy’s hoof with her own suddenly. “I got all wrapped up in myself, and that’s how I always end up not hearing the baking timer and burning stuff. I’m really, really sorry!” she said, looking away.
Fluttershy glanced down at her hoof, tightly encircled by Pinkie’s. It was now completely covered in vanilla icing. “It’s not your fault, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said, biting her lip. “I-I guess you probably know what happened, right?” Fluttershy sank a little lower in her seat, looking away. “Probably everypony knows, by now…” She looked up at Pinkie sadly. “If anypony here is the bad friend, it’s me. I’m sure Rarity hates me.”
“Rarity doesn’t feel like that at all!” Pinkie said, giving Fluttershy’s hoof a sticky squeeze. “She just thinks she’s mad—” Pinkie winced as Fluttershy cringed, folding her ears back “—but she’s really just sad. She misses you, Fluttershy, and she doesn’t know what went wrong.”
The pegasus wiggled her hoof out of Pinkie’s sugary grip, wiping it with a napkin. “What went wrong is what always goes wrong. I’m a scaredy-pony,” Fluttershy said, sighing. “I-I didn’t know what to do, so I panicked and did the wrong thing. It frightened me, Pinkie!” Fluttershy looked up, pleading with her eyes. “Do you know what it’s like, when your best friend tells you that she wants… more, and you have to disappoint her? I… I couldn’t stand it! I’d do anything for Rarity. She’s always been there for me, helping me when I couldn’t do things on my own.” Fluttershy looked away, her eyes beginning to shimmer. “But when she really needed me, I couldn’t help, so I lied. I just didn’t know what else to do.” Fluttershy slumped over the table, her hooves covering her face. “A-and now look at things! I-I’m so scared of Rarity that I put an extra lock on my door! She was m-my best…” The pegasus’ shoulders began to shake
“Oh, Fluttershy,” Pinkie sighed, hopping off of her chair. Rounding table suddenly, she enveloped the pegasus in a hug. “You two are the silliest, billiest silly-billies in Equestria!” She gave Fluttershy another squeeze, and the pegasus winced, both from the pressure and the large amount of icing that now covered her back. “Rarity’s just wants to know what happened!” Pinkie said, cupping Fluttershy’s teary face between her cinnamon-y hooves. “Okay, yeah, she was a teeny bit upset-ish, but you know Rars. She gets over stuff really quick!” Pinkie released the pegasus and leaned an elbow on the table. “All you have to do is just go have a talk with her!” Pinkie said, crossing one hind hoof over the other. “Easy peasy!”
Fluttershy took to the air in alarm, both hooves covering her mouth. “I-I can’t , Pinkie!” she said, her voice ratcheting up in register. “You don’t understand! I… It’s the worst…” Fluttershy landed, walking backward until she found herself in a corner. “She’ll hate me, Pinkie!” Fluttershy said, cringing. “I just know it. It’s not like I forgot her birthday or accidentally spilled juice on her dress! Pinkie, I-I told her that I was in love with her when I wasn’t! She wrote me letter after letter, and they were so full of hope and joy!” The pegasus extended her wing, ducking her head behind it as she turned away from Pinkie.
“Fluttershy—” Pinkie said, walking to where Fluttershy sat, quivering.
“I tried to ignore them, but the letters just kept coming!” Fluttershy said in a fragile, trembling voice. “Then they stopped being happy. They were sad and angry and miserable sounding. She thought she made a big mistake telling me that she loved me, and I guess she did.” Fluttershy looked back to Pinkie, tears streaming down her face once more. “She picked the worst mare in Equestria! I’d give anything to be the mare she wants me to be! But instead I’m just a scaredy-pony who’s hiding in her house.”
Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out a bright pink handkerchief, holding it out to her friend. As Fluttershy caught the design, she gave Pinkie the beginnings of a grin. Several cupcakes were embroidered there, singing “I love to see you smile, smile, smile.” The pegasus took the cloth in a shaking hoof and mopped below her eyes.
“Fluttershy, you’ve been friends with Rarity since you were fillies! Why do you think she’s gonna be mad at you forever?” Pinkie asked, plopping herself down beside the pegasus and draping a leg around her shoulders. Pinkie lowered her head to look into Fluttershy’s eyes. “None of us want you to be sad and scared, Fluttershy. Dontcha want to feel better?”
Fluttershy nodded, still too worked up to say anything.
“Well, it’s like a party that goes all wrong,” Pinkie said, putting a hoof to her chin. “Sometimes, you just plan out the wrong music and you forget the games. All of a sudden, you look around and no pony is dancing or having any fun at all.” Pinkie hung her head. “We’ve all been there, huh?” she said to Fluttershy, moving on as the Pegasus slowly opened her mouth. “Anyway, you’re just there, hiding in the kitchen and pretending you are bringing out the cake that you forgot to bake; embarrassed because they’re all gonna think you’re a ditz. But you can’t just run away, or they’ll think even worse about you!” Pinkie sprang to her hooves, punching a leg into the air. “Nope! You gotta get out there and tell everypony, ‘Hey, I’m sorry. I made a mistake, and if you’ll give me a few minutes, I’ll get it all fixed up!’”
Fluttershy sagged, tightening into a ball as she stared back at Pinkie with huge, fearful eyes. “It’s not the same,” she whispered. “She won’t forgive me! I know it! Don’t you remember how long she was mad at Prince Blueblood, and she didn’t even like him! What I did was a thousand times worse!”
Pinkie sighed, wringing out the soggy hankie before handing it back to the tearful pegasus. This was turning out to be harder than she’d anticipated. “She told me to tell you something. What was it again?” Pinkie looked up, thinking hard, and then smiled as she remembered. “Oh, yeah!”
Drawing herself up to her full height, Pinkie pulled down on her mane until it reached her chest, then released it. As it snapped back into place, it curled elaborately, somehow mirroring in seconds what took Rarity hours to achieve. Tossing her head, Pinkie batted her eyes at Fluttershy. “‘Maybe you could remind her of my offer for tea. Tell her... wine is off the table, though. She’ll... she’ll know what I mean,’” Pinkie said in an eerily accurate imitation of Rarity’s refined accent.
“She... she wants me to come over for tea?” Fluttershy said, uncurling a bit. Despite her hesitation, a look of longing and hopefulness was spreading across her face. “In her letter she asked me have tea with her so I could let her down gently...” Trotting to where Pinkie sat, she placed her hooves on the earth pony’s shoulders. Pinkie grinned as her friend’s face cycled through fear, hope, terror, and relief rapidly. “She does want to talk. Oh, I...I don’t know if I can,” she said, dropping her eyes to the floor.
“What if I held your hoof?” Pinkie replied softly. “What if I tried to make sure she didn’t get too upset?”
“C-Could you?” Fluttershy answered, hope filling her eyes again. “Could you, Pinkie?”
Pinkie wrapped the pegasus up in another hug. “I’ll do my best!” she said, grinning widely. “I’ll talk to Rarity and let you know as soon as I can!”
Step Four: Two Steps Forward...
Rarity busied herself around the boutique, setting up tea service and making sure the boudoir was immaculate. It was very important that she not think. Allowing herself to think would mean allowing herself to panic, and there was nothing to panic about. Her... friend of many years was coming over to talk to her. That was all. Tea would be had and certain faux pas would be addressed, and hopefully the whole messy business would be put behind them at last.
She refused to think about how hurt she felt when she thought about that... friend. It was not helpful to think about that. She needed to be serene, and perfectly poised. After all, she was also going to be telling her friend about her new relationship, and whatever sins had been committed between them, she would very much like that revelation to go well. Unlike other revelations she had made which had distinctly not gone over well. But then, that was something she wasn’t going to think about.
So she busied herself, checking and double checking everything in the room. And she did not think, because thinking did not help.
Pinkie had said noon. The clock said it was two minutes till. Two minutes. It was going to be fine. She would greet her friend, apologize for being such a mule, and life would return to some semblance of normalcy.
She heard a knock on the door, and definitely did not hide behind the chaise lounge. That would be foolish, and foalish, and she was neither.
Being neither a fool nor a foal, she stood up from behind the chaise lounge that she had not been hiding behind and walked calmly to the door. Her magic sparked as she tried to open it, which was odd, but not a sign of nervousness. Seeing her marefriend and former best friend waiting on the doorstep, she definitely did not faint. The last thought going through her mind as she pulled her chaise lounge towards her was that this was an opportune time for a nap.
“Oh, come on , slowpoke!” Pinkie said, giggling as she doubled back. Bouncing down the path again to where Fluttershy trudged, she could barely contain herself. Today was going to be great; she just knew it. “What’s with all the lagging and hoof-dragging? We’re gonna be late!”
Fluttershy tried to look up from the path, but didn’t quite meet Pinkie’s eyes. “I think I forgot to leave food out for Angel. I’d better—”
With a final bound, Pinkie landed next to Fluttershy, grinning. “Don’t be a silly filly, Fluttershy! You left him two salads, remember?”
Fluttershy bit her lip and looked back toward the cottage. “Oh. Right,” she said, already turning back. “But the chickens—”
“—are in the coop!”
“And the bear has a cold that—”
“—that he’s sleeping off in his cave with the warm blankets we brought him.”
Fluttershy broke into a trot. “The stove’s on! I just know it! I’ll just—huh?” The pegasus stared down at her hooves. They were moving but she didn’t seem to be getting anywhere.
“Fluttershy, it’s gonna be okay,” Pinkie said, spitting out the pegasus’ tail. Leaping forward, she wrapped Fluttershy in her most friendly hug. “You’ll see. Rarity can’t wait to make up with you over all of this, and then I can throw you both a big You-Girls-Wrote-Some-Weird-Letters-And-Did-Some-Maybe-Not-So-Great-Things-But-You’re-
Fluttershy’s brow furrowed. “You’ve had one of those before?”
Pinkie sat, putting a hoof to her chin. “Well… no, I guess. But never is a long time, right?”
“Well…”
Pinkie leapt back to her hooves, her ears perking up. “See? It’s all working out superdupergreat! You two will get to make up, and I’ll get to throw a new, special, one-of-a-kind party! Oh, it’s gonna—”
“Pinkie?” Fluttershy said softly.
Pinkie looked up, alarmed. Fluttershy’s voice wasn’t smiling. It wasn’t even trying to grin. It was the kind of sad, scared voice that only comes out when lower lips were trembling and eyes were tearing up. Maybe not right at that moment, but somewhere in a pony’s mind, they were crying when they used that voice. Pinkie swallowed hard. “Yeah?”
“I-is it really going to be okay?” Fluttershy began to tremble. “I-I know you said that Rarity wasn’t actually mad, but what I did… I, um...”
Pinkie ran her hoof through Fluttershy’s mane, pulling back the curtain of hair that the pegasus so often hid behind. “You’ve been friends with Rarity forever , silly-billy!” she said, smiling encouragingly. “You don’t just throw out a friendship like that over some silly old letters.”
Fluttershy jerked back, her wings flapping reflexively. “But they weren’t silly, Pinkie!” she said, her voice quavering. “Mine were horrible and hers… hers were just frightening and angry and sad! I-I just c-can’t, Pinkie!” Fluttershy flapped harder, rising into the air. “She won’t forgive me! I don’t deserve to be forgiven, and we both know it!”
Pinkie leapt, clutching onto Fluttershy’s rear hooves as the pegasus rose. Inch by inch, they sank under their combined weight. “Shh. It’s okay,” Pinkie said, holding Fluttershy as she cried. “It’s all going to be better soon, I promise. Here, watch!”
Pinkie released the pegasus and stepped back, solemnly placing a hoof on her heart. “I, Pinkie Pie, do swear that Rarity and Fluttershy will be best friends again. Cross my heart and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye.”
Fluttershy looked up, wiping a tear off of her cheek. “You Pinkie Promise it’s going to be okay?”
“Yup,” Pinkie said, smiling broadly. “You worry too much, Fluttershy. You girls will be drinking tea and rolling around in the mud again in no time!”
Fluttershy’s mouth twitched in what Pinkie took to be a sincere attempt at a smile before faltering again. “Oh, well if you really feel that strongly about—wait. Rolling in the mud?”
“You know, at the spa.” Pinkie screwed up her face and squinted at the sky. “Or at least, that’s what I do in there! Rarity’s more into rubbing her temples and apologizing to the staff, I guess.” Pinkie threw a hoof wide and cocked her head to the side. “Why don’t you guys roll around more? It’s a humongous pit of mud!”
Fluttershy took a deep breath and held it. In that moment of stillness, she could feel the fears and doubts within her. They were always so overpowering, threatening to drag her down. Demanding that she run and hide.
But I can’t this time! she thought, focusing. Her heart was racing, and she could feel her legs trembling violently. I-I don’t want to be scared of Rarity! I want things to be the way that they were.
Fluttershy closed her eyes and sent her mind to the meadow. It was a place that she visited when things were frightening. A mental location of absolute tranquility, where she could lay in the sun amongst the wildflowers, surrounded by bees and butterflies. It was warm there, and the breeze was light. It was a place where nothing startling ever happened.
Taking a deep breath, Fluttershy filled her heart with that tranquility, allowing it to radiate out into her whole body. Soon, the tremble in her legs eased, and her heart stopped beating quite so alarmingly hard. Taking another deep breath, she could feel the sun’s warmth spreading through her again.
“Fluttershy? You okay?” Pinkie said, her hoof hovering uncertainly between them. She wasn’t sure whether to disturb whatever this was or not.
Slowly, Fluttershy nodded. “Yes, I-I’m ready.”
“Well, that’s good,” Pinkie said, beaming. “Because we’re here!”
Fluttershy looked up, panic spreading like wildfire across her face. She’d been so wrapped up in her fear that she hadn’t even noticed that they’d arrived. “Eeep! ” she cried, taking to the air once more.
Pinkie rolled her eyes, grabbing the pegasus’ tail in one hoof while knocking on the door with the other. “Rarity?” she said, throwing the door wide. “Hey, Rar! Fluttershy’s here and—oh!”
She had a just a second to meet her love’s eyes before Rarity fainted, collapsing heavily onto her chaise lounge.
Rarity’s consciousness returned to her body slowly and grudgingly. It’d had a rough time just now, and wasn’t quite sure it wanted to come back just yet. The pony that Rarity had just seen made it very nervous. Eventually it settled down, making her eyes open and flutter in confusion. The eyes darted around the room, seeing something pink first, which was calming, then something yellow. Seeing the yellow, her consciousness fled once more for a quick breather.
Pinkie tilted her head to the side, shrugged at Fluttershy. “Huh. She seemed so…” Pinkie twirled her hoof, searching for the word “...awake before. She was up all last night, walking around and around. Poor Rar. She’s all worn out!” Perking up, Pinkie plunged her hoof into her mane, sticking out her tongue in concentration as she rummaged around. “Aha!” she cried, pulling out a large cookie. Turning, she gave Fluttershy a wink. “Sometimes, when I jump too high in Sugarcube Corner and hit my head on the ceiling, Mr. Cake uses these to bring me around again. Here, hold Rarity’s head for me.”
Fluttershy retreated a few steps, edging behind the lounge. “Um, Pinkie. I’m not sure—”
“Oh, Fluttershy,” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes. “You two are being ridiculous, and that’s kind of my job.” Looking up, she gave the pegasus an encouraging smile. “This is gonna make you feel all better, remember?”
For a moment, Fluttershy stood, trembling. Nothing would make her happier than to have things like they were before. To somehow erase the whole summer and just start over like it had never happened. But even the sight of Rarity made her heart race in precisely the way that she hated. It felt trapped, like an animal in a snare. “Pinkie, I… I…”
Pinkie sat next to Rarity, running a hoof through those spectacular curls. “I know it’s hard for you, Fluttershy,” she said quietly. Smiling gently, she traced the contour of Rarity’s cheek, marveling for the millionth time at how perfect the unicorn was. Every detail was a masterpiece. “It’s hard for Rarity, too.” Her eyes welling, Pinkie dropped her voice to a whisper. “And for me. She’s hurting, Shy. She’s hurting so much.” Pinkie looked up, her lip trembling. “You both are. I… I just can’t stand it. I just want everypony to be happy again.”
Fluttershy looked away, biting her lip. Swallowing hard, she inched out from behind the chaise lounge and slowly knelt down beside Pinkie. Her hooves shook as she worked them underneath Rarity’s head, lifting it to gently cradle the unicorn. “O-okay. What now?”
Pinkie sighed, her muscles relaxing. “I knew you could do it!” she said, giving Fluttershy a quick squeeze. “Now watch! This works for me every time. Lift her head up a little bit.” Placing the cookie just under Rarity’s nose, she broke it. Leaning forward, she gently blew the delicious aroma into the unicorn’s face. “I hope this doesn’t take to long!” she said, her eyes twinkling as she looked over at Fluttershy. “Nurse Pinkie Pie’s about to eat this patient’s prescription!”
Coming to for the second time was no easier. The yellow was still there, and as her eyes opened wider the yellow resolved itself into a yellow coated pony. The words ‘yellow pony’ drifted around in her head for a while, looking for a word to connect with.
Concerned, she thought, satisfied with the word.
A pink shape stood next to the yellow pony, after a moment she decided that it was a pink pony , and the best word to connect to it was ‘surprised’.
All this progress! Soon, with any luck, she would be able to form coherent sentences. She furrowed her brow, and decided to try her hoof at something simple at first. This pony, this concerned and yellow pony, had a name. What was the name?
“Fluttershy?” she said aloud, giving it her best guess. The name seemed to fit. Success! That was a sentence! Granted, it was one word, but it was a sentence nonetheless! It was time to really push herself. Multiple words now. “You came?” Mentally, she gave herself a gold star. Two words, brilliant.
Fluttershy gave a small squeak, whipping her hooves away as though Rarity had suddenly caught fire. “Um, I… um.” Reaching out, she gripped the back for the chaise lounge tightly and took a deep breath. “Yes. I-I did.”
Pinkie clasped her hooves under her chin. “This is so great, you guys!” Jumping up, she trotted to the kitching. “I’ll just make us all a little snack while you two talk things over.”
Fluttershy leapt into the air, hovering above the lounge. “But you said you’d hold my hoof! You said you wouldn’t leave me alone!”
Rarity, who had been supported by those yellow hooves only moments before, thumped back down onto the chaise lounge, causing the poor piece of furniture to creak in protest. Fortunately, its designer had been appraised of its purchaser’s propensity for some serious swooning fits, and held up under the strain.
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Shy, I’ll be back in just a minute! I’m just going to make us all some of those teeny-tiny party sammies and hot chocolate.”
Sitting up unsteadily, Rarity eyed the hovering pegasus with apprehension. It would seem she wasn’t the only one having second thoughts about this meeting. Well, one of us has to be the strong one here, and she’s never been the hardiest of ponies. “Come down, darling. I promise I won’t bite. Not even if you ask nicely.” She eyed the entrance of her boutique, realizing this was not the setting she’d wanted for this meeting. “Follow me, I have tea ready in the boudoir.” With that, she got up and walked calmly to the other room, dragging her lounge behind her.
Fluttershy wavered in the air uncertainly. She hesitantly followed Rarity, her nerves screaming at her to break for the door. Halfway there, she remembered Pinkie and set off for the kitchen, only to look over her shoulder at her best friend. As she watched Rarity struggle to push the lounge through the doorway, Fluttershy suffered such pangs of regret and longing that she forgot to keep her wings pumping. With a small cry, she dropped to the floor. “Ow…” she said, rubbing her rump.
Rarity turned back in surprise, nearly falling herself as the lounge finally got past the threshold of the doorway. She regarded the creature that had filled her with such apprehension, sheepishly rubbing her sore bottom after having apparently fallen from the air for lack of remembering to flap her wings. Something about this whole situation struck her as hilarious, and unable to stop herself, she began laughing uncontrollably.
Fluttershy craned her neck, checking to see if she was bruising. “I-I don’t think it’s very funny,” she said, not quite daring to look up at Rarity.
Rarity worked to stifle her laughter, managing to get down to a quiet chuckle. “Sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to laugh at you so much as us ...” she gestured to the two of them. “The two of us, walking on eggshells. Lo and behold, one of the shells just cracked!” She giggled anew, walking to Fluttershy and pulling her gently back to her hooves. “We’re better than this, aren’t we? Come, I have some lovely infusions ready.”
“Um… okay.” Fluttershy hung her head and followed, throwing one final glance to the door Pinkie had disappeared through. Swallowing hard, she stopped at the threshold, peeking inside. Rarity was there, by a small, well-appointed table, beckoning. Oh, Pinkie, where are you? she thought, her eyes darting to the corners of the room, looking for dangers that she knew weren’t there. There was only one monster in the boutique, and it had yellow wings. “Rarity, maybe this… Maybe I shouldn’t...”
“Sit,” Rarity responded, firmly. “This is long overdue. But first, we’re going to have some tea, and then I want to hear a little about your summer.” Rarity began to pour hot water into a teacup, looking up at Fluttershy as she did so. “Chamomile, two sugarcubes, and a dash of cream if I recall? Sorry, it’s been a quite awhile..” she trailed off uncomfortably as she remembered that she was the reason for that, smiling weakly.
“Oh, um…” Fluttershy took a deep breath, forcing her hooves to stop shaking as she pulled the cup and saucer toward her. “Yes. That’s perfect,” she finished with a ghost of a smile. Steeling herself, she finally met Rarity’s eyes.
She regretted it immediately. Rarity’s eyes usually shone brightly. They sparkled and twinkled and laughed. She could hold entire conversations with the twitch of a single eyelid. But now, her friend’s eyes were careful. They were eyes that had been hurt, and they told Fluttershy that the unicorn was scared and hurting still.
Fluttershy careful set down her cup and got up. “I-I’m so sorry, Rarity,” she said. “I… I’m…” she began creeping backwards toward the door. “I made a terrible mistake, and I think that you’ll just be better off without me.”
Rarity’s horn flashed, holding the door in place. “Darling, please… I know this is horribly awkward, but don’t give up on us. Just… just sit and let’s talk like we used to? I miss that. Tell me anything. How are your animals doing? Is… Angel all right? How is Harry’s back doing?”
Despite herself, Fluttershy smiled weakly. “Oh, Rarity. You should have seen Angel. We left for the summer, and he was so fussy. I kept telling him that there was lots of nice clover in Whinneypeg for him to eat, and that I’d made sure that the grass at the cabin was just the height that he likes to run around in, but you know Angel...” Fluttershy climbed back into her chair, picking up her teacup without realizing it. “But when it came time to leave, I practically had to pull him away from the cabin. He fussed the whole way there, and then he fussed the whole way home!”
“Oh, Opal was the same way. I put her up in a luxury suite at the best animal shelter I could find.” She gestured to Fluttershy with her teacup. “Well, save yourself, of course. She snubbed me for a solid week after I went to get her. I tried her favorite foods, catnip, yarn... Nothing worked!”
Fluttershy nodded. “She can be a little testy sometimes when I’m grooming her, but I just keep telling her what a beautiful cat she is and how nice she’s going to look. She’s really very sweet once she understands how pretty she’s—”
“Hey, girls!” Pinkie said, checking the door with her hip as she swung a large tray of small sandwiches and cups of cocoa through it. “So who wants yummy beecumber snackwiches? Shy, I know you love beets, and Rarity can’t get enough cucumbers, so I just put ‘em together!” Setting the tray down on the table, Pinkie curled up beside Fluttershy, taking her hoof. “So,” she said, grinning broadly, “whatcha talkin’ about?”
“Fluttershy was just telling me about how fussy Angel was during her trip. I think I admire you sometimes, Pinkie. You have such an... uncomplicated relationship with Gummy,” Rarity said, smiling as she took one of the sandwiches from the tray. Beets and cucumbers... She eyed the sandwich dubiously, glancing up at Pinkie. Well, I’ve heard of stranger combinations that worked, she thought idly as she bit into the sandwich.
Pinkie pointed at the snackwich. “Oh, and I put frosting in there, too! ’Cause I like that!”
Rarity, feeling her teeth sink into the aforementioned frosting, stopped mid bite. She lay the sandwich down and picked up a scone instead. “You know, I think perhaps I’ll have something a little lighter. But thank you, love. That was very thoughtful.”
Pinkie shrugged. “You don’t know what you’re missing!” Bringing her hoof down smartly against the edge of Rarity’s plate, she launched the snackwich into the air. Leaning back and catching it in her mouth, she chewed with lusty abandon. “Mmmm. Buttercream.”
Fluttershy used the distraction to claim a sandwich, trying not to draw attention to herself as she scraped off the thick layer of creamy frosting. “Gummy’s complicated in different ways. He’s… a little hard to understand sometimes. Just when you think you might, he does something… well, he’s just hard to read.”
Rarity laughed, a real, unabashed laugh. “You have such a flair for understatement, darling! I think the only creature more inscrutable than Gummy is his owner.” She took another dainty bite of her scone, taking a sip of tea to wash it down. “But I suppose you’re right. He is a bit of an enigma. Part of his charm.”
Topics for small talk temporarily exhausted, the three ponies ate and drank, two of them studiously ignoring the giant elephant in the room. Still, it did feel good to laugh and chat again, even if it did not solve any long term rifts in the friendship of the two in question.
“So... tell me a bit about Whinneypeg,” Rarity said finally, desperate for any discussion that might stave off the questions that had been mounting in her mind all summer. “Surely you did more there than suffer Angel’s fussiness and be whistled at by idiots?” Rarity blanched, realising the topic of Fluttershy being hit on was dangerously close to certain topics she was trying to avoid. “I-I mean, that is, I only got one letter from you that wasn’t about trying to placate me after I screwed up so badly—” Alerts went off in her head. This was a direct breach of etiquette. Abandon topic, repeat, abandon topic. “F-forget the letters, I just want to hear how your summer went!” she finished quickly.
Half of Fluttershy’s tea sloshed onto the table as she started, and the cup chattered against the china saucer while she struggled to set it down. “Y-you?” she said, staring at Rarity in shock. “You didn’t mess up. You just tried to tell me how you felt! I’m the one that messed up! I was so s-scared of disappointing you, and you needed me to be brave!” She looked down, ashamed. “But I’m not... I’m not a brave pony. N-not like I should have been.”
Pinkie looked back and forth between them, a hesitant smile forming and dissolving as her two dear friends fell more deeply into the discussion. Well, there they go. But this should be more huggy and laughy. She swiveled her head from side to side as they spoke in turn. But they’re not hugging at all… Squeezing Fluttershy’s hoof, she picked up a snackwich, chewing thoughtfully as she watched Rarity. She knew the signs, and as polite as Rarity was acting, she was teetering on the edge.
“Darling, no! I was selfish and stupid for bringing up something so personal in a letter of all things! I should have told you ages ago, in a quiet environment, but I was just so...” Rarity trailed off. Well, here it was. The elephant would not be ignored, time to address it. “What I don’t understand is why you would lead me on like that.” she said, after a moment. “I begged you to let me down easy, asked you to come over for tea to talk it over. Why would you break the promise we made? We Pinkie Promised to be honest with how we felt!”
Pinkie’s jaw dropped, looking at Fluttershy closely. A broken Pinkie Promise was no laughing matter. “Wait, my hooves get hot when ponies break a Pinkie Promise, and I didn’t get hot hooves!” She cocked an eyebrow at Rarity. “Are you sure?”
Fluttershy stared down at the floor, silent.
“Darling, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“I… I didn’t lie.”
Rarity’s eyes snapped up, uncomprehending. “I’m sorry?! Please, don’t run away again, but I asked you over for wine and you said you would like that. Did...did you not know what I meant?”
Fluttershy seemed to wilt under Rarity’s penetrating gaze, slowly sinking down into her chair. “I... knew. I read each of those letters over and over and over.” She looked away, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I knew.”
Rarity stammered for a moment, not daring to speak. “I don’t… Rainbow said you didn’t… I’m sorry, I have to ask, are you straight or not? I mean, if you just didn’t feel the same, I appreciate the sentiment, but I wasn’t looking for a one night stand, darling!”
Silence loomed over the trio like a scything blade.
“Rarity... I... I love you. I told you that.”
Pinkie gasped, a cold, trickle of fear piercing her heart. Wait, she loves Rarity, too?
“I love you,” Fluttershy continued, “but not like that. And I don’t... I don’t feel that way about mares, or you. But you wanted me to be brave, didn’t you?”
“Darling, I never, ever would want you to—”
Trembling, Fluttershy traced the stitching on Rarity’s fine cloth napkins with a hoof. Squeezing her eyes closed, she took a deep, shuddering breath. “I was going to c-come over. I was going to drink with you. And, um… see what happened.”
Rarity barely registered the shattered teacup as it fell from her hoof. Her eyes wide, she rose, scrambling back a few faltering steps. “What?!”
“I’ve—I’ve never felt like that for anypony, Rarity. I mean, sometimes... I watch Big Macintosh working, and I feel… something, but not like what you talked about. I just thought... maybe it would work? If I was just brave enough, maybe it would be okay. But then you wanted to go on dates, and I couldn’t make myself say I wanted that. I… if it was for a night, I might have been okay. But I can’t… I’m so sorry, Rarity, I just can’t…”
The last traces of Pinkie’s smile finally disappeared completely as she watched the blood drain from Rarity’s face. “Uh, girls—”
“You were going to…” Rarity stared at her friend as if seeing her for the first time. And perhaps she was. “So… what then? Lay back and think of Canterlot?”
Fluttershy shrank away from the accusation, her ears laying flat. “I didn’t think…”
“Hold on,” Pinkie said, putting up a placating hoof. “Let’s—”
“No, no I don’t think you did, did you? “ Rarity demanded, shame and self loathing thick in her voice. She had driven her friend to this, driven her to feel like she had to submit herself like some sort of bizarre sacrifice to the sick lusts of her best friend. But the darker parts of her mind explored this farce to the bitter end. “Were you going to tell me on our first date? I suppose we would have gotten our first kiss out of the way by then—”
“Rarity, I couldn’t tell you—” Fluttershy said, pleading for her to stop.
Pinkie’s heart began to pound. No! This is all wrong! This isn’t how it’s supposed to go!
“And why was that? Do you have so little faith in our friendship? Did you think my heart so frail? How about when I proposed?” Rarity pressed her friend, as Fluttershy stared steadily at the floor.
“Still no?” Rarity’s voice was becoming shrill with building confusion and anger. “On the marriage bed as I consummated our union of lies ?”
“I… I…” Fluttershy choked back a sob as she tried to come up with some answer to the barrage of questions.
“Tenth anniversary, then? When, Fluttershy? When were you going to tell me?!” She screamed the last sentence, glaring at this creature she’d called friend for so long.
Pinkie looked back and forth in panic, trying to decide who to calm down first. Her mouth was suddenly so dry that she could hardly speak. “Please, you guys! It’s not supposed to happen like this!” she whispered. “I promised Shy that it wouldn’t…” Shuffling in place, she realized that her hooves were burning like mad.
“I’m sorry!” Fluttershy whispered back, scrambling out of her seat and bolting out of the boutique like the demons of Tartarus were hot on her tail.
Rarity watched her go, breathing hard and feeling like she wanted to throw up. She wanted to kick, and scream, but the one she was angry with had fled. To think it could have gone so far, it was everything she’d feared. And Fluttershy had been prepared to simply let her!
Pinkie’s steps were small and uncertain as she made her way over to Rarity. Her marefriend had been so angry that her horn had begun to spit sparks of magic, burning several small holes in the tablecloth. “Uh, Rarity…”
“She was just going to… to…” Rarity trailed off, still unable to comprehend it. Without somepony to focus on, her anger ebbed, leaving her feeling drained emotionally and physically.
With a shaking hoof, Pinkie tentatively reached out and wrapped her leg around Rarity, drawing the unicorn to her. Burying her head into Rarity’s lush mane, she inhaled. As always, the curls smelled wonderful, alive with just the right hints of wildflowers and exotic spices. Pinkie gently snuggled the unicorn, allowing herself to sink into those plush curls. “Oh, Rarity,” she whispered. “What happened? ”
Rarity only shivered slightly, throwing her hooves around Pinkie and clutching her as if she never intended to let go.
Pinkie watched the open door swing lazily in the breeze. We tease her about being a scaredy-pony, but I-I’ve never seen her run like that before. Wrapping her legs more firmly around Rarity, she guided her to the chaise lounge. “Let’s…” She paused, taking a moment to still her quavering voice. Her hooves were still shaking. “Let’s just…” Pinkie looked to the door again, blinking back the tears.
Taking Rarity’s face in her hooves, she kissed the unicorn, and then again, more deeply, relaxing as Rarity began to respond to her. “Rarity, you know that I love you, right?”
The unicorn nodded into Pinkie’s chest, snuffling quietly. She didn’t feel very lovable right now, but that was one truth she did not question when the rest of the world seemed ready to burn down around her as it did right now. In the morning, the sun would rise, and Pinkie would love her.
Pinkie looked down, clasping Rarity’s hooves in her own. “A-and you love me, too, right? Like, for really?”
“W-with all of my being!” Rarity whispered fervently.
Pinkie used the back of an interlocked hoof to wipe her eye. “I-I just need to hear it sometimes,” she whispered. “I messed this all up, Rarity.” Swallowing hard, she sagged, slowly burying her face into Rarity’s curls again. “I made you girls meet up when you weren’t ready ’cause I thought it would be all better. I-I thought I’d make it right again!” Her voice began to crack as the tears flowed more freely. “I promised her it would be okay, but it wasn’t! I promised! ”
Rarity’s heart skipped a beat. Broken promises were a serious matter for Pinkie. “Darling, please don’t blame yourself! All blame is between her and I. We shouldn’t have tried this meeting.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Rars! None of this would have happened if I hadn’t have pushed so hard for it,” Pinkie answered. “I messed this up, but I won’t mess us up.” She squeezed Rarity, relishing the reassuring contact, the solidity of her marefriend. “I’m gonna work extra hard from now on.”
A breeze caught the door, and both mares watched as it creaked open again. Their friend had fled through that doorway, yet here they were, still huddled on the lounge.
Rarity was silent for a time, merely holding and being held by Pinkie. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she reached out toward the doorway with her magic, closing it. She would not be following after Fluttershy, not the way she felt right now. But that didn’t mean Fluttershy should be left alone. “Pinkie… Fluttershy… she… she deserved some of that tirade, but perhaps not… not all of it. She’ll need a friend.”
Pinkie looked at the door, then around the room, taking in the scene again. A tablecloth pulled askew. The broken saucer and teacup. Fluttershy’s chair, sitting on its side several feet away. And finally, the door which had formerly been left swinging in the wind. All evidence of the pegasus’ panicked flight from the boutique. Pinkie nodded, turning back to search her marefriend’s eyes. “But what about you?”
“I’ll... I’ll be fine,” Rarity said, trying to keep the waver out of her voice.
Pinkie stretched out her tail, coiling the end around one of the unicorn’s fine cloth napkins and bringing it to her hoof. Delicately, she dabbed at the Rarity’s mascara, which had just begun to run. “Okay,” she said, moving to the other eye, “I’ll go find her, but I want to make absototally sure that you’re gonna to be alright while I’m gone.”
“P-Pinkie Promise, darling. Please, go be her friend, she needs one right now.”
Pinkie held the cloth napkin up to Rarity’s nose. “Now blow!”
Rarity blew her nose loudly, all decorum disregarded for the moment.
Rising, Pinkie set the napkin on the table. “Don’t forget about these snackwiches,” she said, lifting the nearly full tray for Rarity to see. “The frosting will get all stale if you don’t eat them soon.” Righting the chair, she pushed it back into place. “And you guys never even had the hot cocoa I made.” Kneeling down, she scooped up the broken saucer and placed the fragments on the table. Finally, she tugged the tablecloth back into place, just the way Rarity liked it. “Rarity?” she said, trotting back to her marefriend.
“Yes, love?”
“I love you so much.” Pinkie leaned in, nuzzling Rarity and streaking her mascara again. “I’m s-sorry that I messed this up. I’m gonna fix it somehow!”
“You didn’t. This had to happen eventually. I... I just wish I hadn’t lost my—”
Pinkie pressed her hoof to Rarity’s lips, silencing her. “Shh. I’ll be back for dinner, and after that, I want some us-time!” Pinkie kissed the tip of Rarity’s nose. She tried to smile her best, happiest smile, but it broke apart halfway through, collapsing into a pained grimace. “I-I kind of need it,” she whispered before galloping after Fluttershy. Speeding out of the room, she left a Pinkie-shaped hole in the air that blew a kiss to Rarity before collapsing with a little pop.
Rarity laid her head down on her forelegs, allowing herself to weep openly. She kept telling herself she was fine, because to be anything but fine was to break a promise to her beloved. And so, being perfectly okay, she cried like a foal.
Usually, Pinkie was perfectly happy to be an earth pony, but not today. I’d trade all the cupcakes in the world for a pair of wings! she thought as her hooves pounded on the hard-packed dirt path. Or even one wing and a bunch of balloons to tie onto me so I’d be all floaty. Or maybe half a wing, and a whole big bunch of balloons and two or three of those cupcakes back...
She’d searched everywhere, but Fluttershy had just vanished. There was no answer at the cottage, and nopony in town had seen her. Pinkie had even run through the Everfree Forest and over to Fluttershy’s favorite picnicking meadow, but the pegasus was nowhere to be found.
Pinkie shook her head, trying to clear her vision as her eyes began to tear up again. This is all my— Pinkie grunted, accidentally veering into one of the bushes that lined the road. Tumbling headfirst through it, she startled several rabbits who’d been napping inside. “Sorry!” she called after them. Sighing, she tried to free her tangled tail from the foliage. “I’m sorry for lots of stuff today…”
Scowling, she tugged at the branches, but her tail was hopelessly tangled. Wrapping both hooves around her tail, she yanked with all her might, giving a surprised squeal as the branches broke. Tumbling end over end, she rolled back out onto the path, covered in dirt and small leaves.
Pinkie stared at the broken bush, her heart sinking. “I-I can’t even run on a path right, and now look. I messed up those bunnies’ home.” Her lower lip trembling, Pinkie broke into a gallop, craning her neck to try and look everywhere at once. If I could just find her! If I could just talk to her!
At a fork in the road, she chose left without giving it a second thought. This wasn’t a right kind of a day. She’d been trying to make things right, but every time she thought she had her hooves around the problem, it just squirted out like that funny water weenie thing that Rainbow got her for her birthday last year. Every time you thought you had it, it just slipped right out of your grip. She’d thought it was hilarious at the time. Not anymore, though. Today was too weenie-ish for smiling.
Okay, maybe the cottage again! she thought, her breath now coming in ragged gasps. I’ve been everywhere else. She’s probably just not answering because I broke my promise. Pinkie’s eyes threatened to tear again, and she bit down on her cheek. No! No more crying! I’ve already destroyed a perfectly innocent bush. Well, I guess it was innocent. Pinkie looked over her shoulder, squinting down the way she’d come. Maybe it jumped out at me…
Reaching Fluttershy’s gate, Pinkie leapt into the air, hurdling it. She had no time for latches, and the only other option was to run through it. She’d done that to few walls at Sugarcube Corner when there were fresh fritters, but repairing the holes always turned out to be a whole lot of work. By the time she was done, the fritters were always stale.
“Fluttershy!” she called, pounding on the door with her hoof. “Fluttershy, are you in there? Please, open—eek!” Pinkie’s eyes flew wide as Applejack yanked the door open.
“Y’all better have a real good reason for this,” Applejack growled, thrusting her nose directly against Pinkie’s. “I just spent the last two hours tryin’ to get Fluttershy to put three words together at a time without cryin’, and from the little that I could get straight, you and Rarity got somethin’ to do with whatever it is.”
Pinkie backed up a step, crossing her eyes as she stared down at her flattened nose. Closing her mouth tightly, she blew, and her nose re-emerged with a satisfying pop. “Oh, Applejack, it’s all my fault!”
Applejack frowned, but some of the angry lines around her eyes smoothed. “Well, that’s a promisin’ start. Now why don’t you come on in here and tell me what the hay is goin’ on. And try to keep things down to a dull roar. I just finally convinced Fluttershy to go take a nap.”
“O-okay,” Pinkie said, creeping into the cottage. With excruciating care, she lifted one hoof and took a step. Sweating, she scanned the floor. Every board suddenly seemed fraught with danger. With all the control she could muster, she slowly put it down several inches over the threshold.
Squeak.
“Sorry!” she whispered as the board creaked beneath her hoof. Dropping her head, she stared through her legs at her rear hooves. Slowly, she lifted one of them, teetering as she inched it forward.
Applejack rolled her eyes, grabbing her friend by the scruff of the neck and dragged her into the room. “Oh, for pony’s sake, Pinkie! Would you just get in here and give me the rundown?!”
Pinkie hung her head. “Sorry. I just keep going left.”
Applejack blinked a few times. “Huh?”
“Nothing,” Pinkie replied, looking away. “It’s just that kind of a day.”
Applejack pushed her hat back, scratching her mane. She was used to Pinkie’s unconventional approaches to conversation, but she had to admit that she was lost at this point. “Sugarcube, can you please just tell me what happened? I was just on my way to the market with a load of apples when Fluttershy came barrellin’ down the path and ran smack into me.” Sighing, Applejack climbed up into Fluttershy’s overstuffed chair. “Her face was a mess ’cause she’s been cryin’ her eyes out.”
“Yeah, running and crying is kinda dangerous. It scares bunnies.”
Applejack just decided to let that pass for now, adding it to the bottom of her long list of questions. “Anyway, I walked her on back here, and she wasn’t makin’ much sense. She just kept goin’ on about how horrible she was and how she ruined everything. I finally just made her drink some of that tea she likes and told her to take a nap.” Applejack squinted, leaning forward. “But we both know Fluttershy wouldn’t hurt a fly. In fact, if she saw a hurt fly, she’d probably tuck it bed and make it some bug soup or somethin’. I was sittin’ here tryin’ to piece together what little she gave me, and then here you come, lookin’ like you been cryin’, too.” Applejack crossed her legs tightly over her chest. “Honestly, you look guilty as a fox in a henhouse, so what gives?”
“Oh, Applejack!” Pinkie wailed before slapping her hooves over her mouth. “You’re so right,” she continued, dropping her voice to a whisper. “I’m totally foxy right now.”
Applejack squeezed her eyes closed, massaging her temples. “Pinkie, could you just get a move on?” she said through gritted teeth.
“O-okay.” Pinkie picked up one of Fluttershy’s soft cushion off the floor, gently placing it with the others on the couch. “If I just hadn’t stuck my nose in it, she’d probably be right here, snuggled down in these pillows with a good book or something. If you’d just smooshed my nose in earlier, everything would have been different. I couldn’t have stuck it anywhere. You see, when we were all gone over the summer, something happened. Something between Fluttershy and Rarity.”
“I, ah…” Applejack licked her lips, fidgeting. “I heard about that. A little.”
Pinkie frowned, smacking the couch with her hoof. “You did?! How come I’m the only pony here who didn’t know what was going on?”
“Well, it ain’t like I really knew much, Pinkie. Shy and Rarity wrote once or twice sayin’ that Rarity had, uh… well, that she’d said some stuff about maybe wantin’ to be a little more than just friends.”
Pinkie dropped her eyes, staring at her hooves. “Both of them told you?”
“Uh, well… Yeah, they did, Pinkie.”
“They didn’t tell me,” Pinkie finally replied in a small voice. “Nopony tells me anything.” Wiping her eye with the back of her hoof, Pinkie took a deep, shuddering breath. “Anyway, I guess it didn’t go so well, and when Rarity got home, she was pretty upset. I tried everything I knew to get her to smile, but it would always fade away.”
Pinkie swallowed hard, her hooves trembling. “You know, AJ, I always thought having a special somepony would be different. Like, that it would be like a big party everyday. I thought we’d be outside, running around and laughing, or… or that we’d be staying up all night, telling ghost stories and then hugging the scares out of each other. But… it hasn’t really been like that.”
Hopping off the couch, Pinkie began to pace. “At first, I was all Flutterized. Whenever I’d get through to Rarity, she’d go all stiff. I thought maybe she didn’t really like me at all. Like, maybe I was just around until she got things all worked out with Fluttershy.”
“Oh, sugarcube, you know better,” Applejack said, jumping up to embrace Pinkie. “You know Rarity wouldn’t hand a pony a raw deal like that.”
Pinkie tapped her forehead with hoof. “Yeah, I know that here ,” she said before moving the hoof to her chest, “but I didn’t know it here.” She offered Applejack a weak smile. “But I do now. I was just being a scaredy-pony because I didn’t want Rarity to leave. I… AJ, I know I’m a silly pony sometimes. I hear them in town sometimes, when they don’t think I’m listening. I know I don’t fit in, but…” Pinkie looked away, trembling. “I’ve never had something like her,” she whispered. “Somepony who just likes me for me. Somepony who wants me around.”
Applejack held her friend at hoof’s length. “Now that’s just a load of hooey! What’re you talkin’ about? Everypony here wants you around, especially your friends!”
“Then how come you girls never told me anything about what was really going on?” Pinkie said, stomping a hoof. “How come you all knew about this love stuff you were all going through? Everypony knew ponies were falling in love, or not falling in love, but me!”
Applejack flushed, her eyes darting away. “Well, I… I guess we thought maybe you wouldn’t be, uh, too interested in that sorta thing.”
Pinkie sat, taking Applejack’s hoof in her own. “I know I’m a little silly sometimes, but I’m not a foal. I love you girls, and I just want to be as big a part of your lives as you are in mine.”
“Oh, sugarcube, I…” Applejack stopped, her mouth working wordlessly as she watched her friend’s shoulders sag. “It’s not like that, but I guess it might look that way. C’mon.” Applejack pulled over to the couch, climbing up onto it and leaning on the pillows. “Sit on down. We’ll get it all worked out, but I got to admit that I’m more lost than when you got here.”
Pinkie plopped down on the couch, leaning her head on Applejack’s shoulder. “Why didn’t anypony tell me?”
Applejacks signed, frowning. “Pinkie, this whole mess was kinda tough for us. We were fussin’ at each other through these letters, and then here you come, all smiles and songs and amazin’ tales of adventures. It’d… well, it’d be like Rainbow comin’ to a Pinkie Party with a big ol’ stormcloud. It’d just ruin the whole thing. For a while, we had five miserable ponies, and one happy one. Why make it six?”
Pinkie squeezed Applejack’s hoof. “’Cause maybe I could have made it better somehow?”
“Sugarcube, sometimes things just take talkin’ and a whole bunch of time. That’s all we needed. We weren’t trying to single you out. We just wanted you to be happy, and not run all over Equestria tryin’ to put out the fires that we couldn’t seem to stop startin’.” Applejack lowered her head, looking up into Pinkie’s downcast eyes. “Does that help? I swear it’s the honest truth.”
Pinkie nodded, pulling out a handkerchief from her mane. “Yeah. Rarity told me that, too, but I guess it’s just hard. I-I just want to be there for you girls like you’re always there for me. That’s… that’s why I came here to talk to Fluttershy. I wanted to make it all better, but I guess you girls were right. Maybe nopony should have told me.” Pinkie’s hooves twisted around each other fitfully. “I would have messed it all up.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Land’s sake, I wish one of you ponies would just spit it out! Fluttershy says it’s all her fault. You think it’s all yours. I’m guessin’ Rarity thinks she’s to blame. Could one of you just tell me the story before I get old and grey?”
Pinkie took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to find the right words. “Well, like I said before, Rarity was still all sad about Fluttershy. I tried and tried to make her happy, but she was just all pokey inside.” Pinkie looked over to Applejack, unusually serious. “AJ, do you know what that’s like? To… to watch the mare that you love just aching, day after day? I couldn’t stand it, and so I kept on telling her that she had to make up with Fluttershy. I thought it would be the only way.”
Pinkie took one of the plush pillows, squeezing and releasing it repeatedly as she spoke. “I finally talked her into a meeting, and I was so happy! ” She tried to give Applejack a smile, but it died before it could fully form. Lingering briefly on her face, it slipped away like a ghost. “I ran over here as fast as I could and made a date with Fluttershy for them to talk.”
Applejack’s brow furrowed. “Well, that all sounds pretty good, Pinkie…”
Burying her face in the pillow, Pinkie’s hitching sobs were muffled. “AJ, I p-promised Fluttershy it’d be okay. I told her I’d hold her h-hoof and that it would be all better after they talked. I was so sure!” Pulling her face from the cushion, Pinkie stared down at the tear stains she’d left there. They looked for all the world like deflated balloons.
“But it wasn’t okay, AJ,” Pinkie whispered, flipping the pillow over. “Something happened. Fluttershy said something and Rarity just started screaming.”
Applejack leaned in, her eyes widening. “What’d she say?”
Pinkie looked away, her hooves twisting around on another. “I-I don’t know. I was kind of busy eating these scrummy snackwiches that I whipped up. They were getting along really well, so I wasn’t really paying attention, and then… then...” Pinkie swallowed loudly.
“It’s like that sometimes, sugarcube,” Applejack said, rubbing Pinkie’s leg. “We all love each other, but sometimes friends just fight. It happens.”
“AJ, you don’t understand!” Pinkie said, slapping the cushion with her hoof. “I promised Shy it’d be okay! I Pinkie Promised her! She only came because she trusted me, and I messed it up bad. I should have been paying attention. I should have—”
“Pony’s sake, Pinkie!” Applejack said, scowling. “You can’t control everythin’! So you made a promise and it didn’t work out. Did you mean for Rarity to get upset?”
“N-no…”
“Well, Pinkie Sense or no, you can’t see the future.” Applejack shifted, moving alongside Pinking and throwing a leg around her shoulder. “Pinkie, I want you to hear me out. This is a long time comin’, and unless you get a handle on it, you’re gonna be in a world of hurt one of these days.” Applejack pushed her hat back and brushed her bangs out of her eyes. She wanted to make sure she had her friend’s full attention. “You ain’t responsible for everypony’s happiness, okay? We all love that you want to do right by us, but not if it’s gonna tear you all up inside. You hear me?”
Pinkie looked away, shrugging half-heartedly.
“No, I’m serious,” Applejack said, giving her friend a little shake. “We’re all mighty grateful that you’re here to lift our spirits, but you can’t make it a reflection of how much you're worth. Fluttershy probably knows that you did all you could, but here you are, rippin’ yourself apart about it without even talkin’ to her first.” Applejack took off her hat and sat it beside her. Squeezing Pinkie tightly, she didn’t want the brim smacking her friend in the head. “Sounds like you did what you thought was best, and yeah, maybe you shouldn’t go makin’ promises that you don’t know if you can keep or not, but pony’s sake, Pinkie! Sometimes I don’t understand how you do what you do, but you ain’t a superhero! Quit tryin’ to take on the whole world!”
Pinkie wiped her eye, nodding. “But, my promise—”
“Oh, Pinkie, it’s okay.”
Pinkie jumped, falling off of the couch. Whirling, she saw Fluttershy’s head poking through the banister at the top of the stairs.
Applejack scowled, jamming her hat back onto her head. “Don’t nopony here ever listen to good advice? I thought I tucked you in for a nap!”
Fluttershy looked away for a moment. “Well, y-you did…” she said, biting her lip. “But then there was all this pounding and yelling. And… and I heard a board squeak by the door. And then a whole bunch of crying and, well, it was kind of hard to sleep through.” Creeping down the stairs, Fluttershy climbed up onto the couch, motioning for Pinkie to join them. “I think maybe we should talk a little, Pinkie.”
Hanging her head, Pinkie squeezed up between her friends, wiggling until Applejack moved over a foot or so. “I’m so, so sorry, Fluttershy. I… Rarity…” Pinkie squeezed her hooves together so hard that the blood was forced from them momentarily. She watched as they turned bone-white before slowly fading back to pink again. “I thought we’d just all be friends again,” she finally whispered.
“We would be,” Fluttershy said softly, “if I hadn’t ruined it. I shouldn’t have told her. It only made things worse.”
“You?” Pinkie said, her head snapping up. “I’m the one who messed up!”
Applejack shook her head. “You two,” she said, massaging her temple. “Or three, I guess.” Cocking her head to the side, the fell silent for a moment. “Pinkie, how’s Rarity doin’?”
“She’s, um, pretty upset… ish,” Pinkie answered, wincing as Fluttershy quailed. “I wanted to stay with her, but she said Shy needed me more. I-I didn’t know what to do, exactly. I was so worried about you,” she said, turning to squeeze Fluttershy’s hoof, “but Rarity was doing that thing where she falls on the couch and stays there for the rest of the day, crying.”
“Sh-she was?” Fluttershy said, her eyes growing wide.
“Yeah,” Pinkie answered, her voice dropping down into a husky whisper. “I was a little scared to leave her, but she was pretty insistent that you should come first.”
Applejack hopped off the couch, adjusting her hat to fit just right. “You know what, Pinkie? Why don’t you stay here for a bit with Fluttershy and l’ll go check on Rarity. I think maybe somepony who’s a little more removed from this whole mess might help out a little.”
Pinkie bounded off the couch, tackling her friend with a tight embrace. “Oh, would you, Applejack?! I hated leaving her there by herself, but I also hated Fluttershy being all by herself, and then the two hateds sort of pushed around back and forth for a while like those sumo ponies and I got salt sprinkled all over my imagination and—”
“Okay, okay!” Applejack said, pushing her friend away with a grin. “I get it, you’re worried. We’re all worried, and I’ll go check up on Rarity for you.” Trotting to the door, she stopped for a moment, looking over her shoulder. “Just, um… Just give us a little time, huh? Sometimes talkin’ to a pony outside the situation helps, but it might take a little while, okay?”
Pinkie nodded, then reached into her mane again for her hankie. With an explosive blast, she blew her nose and stuffed the handkerchief back into wherever it had come from.
“Alright, then,” Applejack said, opening the door. “I’m off. See y’all later. And Pinkie?”
“Yeah?”
“Think about what I said. The six of us are a team, but you’re takin’ on too much. You can’t make yourself responsible for everypony’s happiness all the time. You’ll go crazy thinkin’ like that.”
With a tip of her hat, Applejack closed the door.
After a good cry, Rarity got up and made her way to her inspiration room. She thought it might help her focus, but after several minutes of staring at the blank drawing paper, she turned away in disgust. She couldn’t get her mind off of worrying about Pinkie and Fluttershy, but at the same time, she was still furious with her friend for what she’d tried to do. What if Rainbow hadn’t made that chance comment? Would they be together even now, Fluttershy loathing her every touch but saying nothing?
It made her shudder. Fluttershy was just that sort of friend. She was always just going along with Rarity, never protesting unduly. But doing that was too much. At least, when she had no interest in mares. Rarity had been in a very unsure moment when she’d suggested they try to experiment, but apparently not so for Fluttershy.
In a way, she envied her friend. For Rarity, it had never really been a certainty. She’d been raised on tales of princes marrying princesses, her mother and father were deliriously happy together, so obviously finding a prince was the way to happiness. But, thinking back, Fluttershy was not the first mare she’d been attracted to, but she was the first Rarity had been unable to ignore as being an attraction.
She supposed, if she was being totally honest with herself, that she had Fluttershy to thank for her ever getting closer to Pinkie. Perhaps... perhaps fate worked in its own way.
Well, that’s all well and good, but I still need to somehow make things right with Fluttershy.
Sitting down on her coach, she eyed the teapot dubiously, knowing the water would be cold by now. She picked up a sandwich, forgetting all about the frosting on the inside... and found it delicious.
Pinkie, you were right again. Sorry for doubting you, love.
She made quick work of the sandwich, feeling guilty for enjoying such a thing. Frosting in a sandwich... it was unheard of.
Her ear perked up as the chime on her front door announced a visitor. “Pinkie? If that’s you, come join me. If it’s a customer, I’m going to have to ask you to come back another time, please.”
“It’s me, Rarity!” Applejack called out from the front room. “You doin’ all right? Pinkie asked me to come check on you. You want some company?”
“Applejack! Well, of course, darling. I’m in the boudoir.” Rarity called back. She settled herself on the chaise lounge, popping another scone into her mouth.
Applejack tentatively stepped into the room, scanning. Well, it ain’t as bad as I reckoned it’d be, it bein’ Rarity and all. No sign of suitcases. That’s good, I guess. Trotting over, she hugged her friend, patting her several times on the back. “You okay, sugarcube? Pinkie’s over with Fluttershy right now, but she’s worryin’ herself to death thinkin’ about you.”
Rarity hugged Applejack back, gesturing for her to make herself comfortable, which Applejack did. “Oh, I’m just fine! You remember what I wrote you? You know... about Fluttershy saying she returned my affections? Well, as it turns out, she never felt that way about me.”
“Uh, well, Rainbow did mention somethin’—”
“Oh, but it gets better. She planned to come over here, drink with me, and just let… what is the expression? Oh yes, let ‘nature take its course.’” Rarity laughed half-hysterically. “And I, in my infinite poise and wisdom, screamed my fool head off at her for even thinking about it!” She gestured at the sandwiches on the tray. “Would you like a sandwich? Pinkie made them. They’re quite good.”
Applejack absently scooped up one of the tiny sandwiches and tossed it into her mouth. “Wait, hold up. You’re sayin’ that Shy was just gonna, uh, go with… whatever? That sounds like a bad...” Applejack mumbled from around the appetizer. Screwing her face up, Applejack’s chewing slowed, then stopped. “Rarity, what the hay is in this thing?”
“Cucumber, beets, and buttercream frosting. I know it’s odd, but somehow it works.” Rarity picked up another sandwich, biting into it. When she’d finished chewing, she began waving the sandwich around for emphasis. “She’s not attracted to mares at all, and she was just going to… let me have my way with her!”
Applejack’s eyes travelled around the room as she considered that. “Rarity, I think you might be blowin’ this a little out of proportion. I guess I can’t say for sure, but you know Shy. She’s as timid as a newborn lamb.” Screwing up her face for a minute, she squinted at the snackwiches before popping another one into her mouth, chewing noisily. “Maybe she thought she’d do that, but once the time came, she’d’ve skedaddled on up outta here. It woulda been too weird for her. ’Sides, it ain’t like it actually happened or—”
“Well, of course I know none of it really happened. The point was...” Rarity trailed off, looking forlorn. “I don’t even know anymore. I just don’t appreciate being lied to.”
Applejack scooped up another sandwich, plopping it into her mouth and chewing thoughtfully. “Well, it ain’t exactly like lyin’ in the traditional sense, Rarity. Could be that she wasn’t so sure herself. Maybe she was thinkin’ about tryin’ out some new things. I, uh, well… I guess I could relate a little if she did.”
“Fine, fine! She didn’t lie so much as not tell me how she really felt!” Rarity pointed the sandwich at Applejack. “We promised each other after that whole mess with Photo Finish that we would not do this again! I asked her to tell me if she was uncomfortable, or didn’t feel the same! A lie by omission is no better!”
Applejack nodded. “I’m with you, Rarity. I really am. Not just comin’ out with it ain’t the right thing to do, but Fluttershy ain’t exactly bold , you know what I mean?” Applejack looked down at her hooves, sighing. “We all got flaws, Rarity,” Applejack continued, poking her friend lightly in the ribs. “Even gems like you. Shy’s are just more out in the open. She’s awful timid when she’s cornered. She does the easy thing instead of the right thing sometimes. I-I ain’t sayin’ that I’m behind that, ’cause I ain’t, but I sorta… well, I guess I expect it a little bit. I just try to keep that in mind when I’m workin’ with her.” Applejack frowned, her brow creasing. “What I’m tryin’ to say here is that, yeah, you been done wrong, but it’s what’s behind that wrong that’s important. Do you really think Shy was tryin’ to hurt you?”
Rarity opened her mouth, getting ready to be very upset again, but she just didn’t have the energy. “Of course that wasn’t her intent. I know that. But it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt me all the same. Knowing she didn’t mean to only makes me feel worse.”
Applejack cocked her head to the side. “How do you mean?”
“Well, I should think it obvious; if I hit you with a teapot because I became excited by something and it flew out of my grasp, does the fact that I didn’t intend to do it make it hurt less?” Rarity picked up the teapot, and for a brief moment Applejack was ready to duck in case this example got a little literal. She sighed in relief when it was merely put back down. “Fluttershy never means to hurt anything. So I can’t even blame her for it! It’s infuriating!”
Applejack pushed her hat back, momentarily narrowing her eyes as she watched Rarity. “Okay, so you’re mad that you can’t get mad, least not real proper mad. Makes sense, I guess. Celestia knows I feel that way about Rainbow sometimes. Well, maybe a little more than sometimes...” She nodded her head, standing up. “Okay, c’mon.”
“Errr, where are we going, exactly?” Rarity said as she stood as well.
“Remember when I said I’d be there for you if things went south? Well, this is about as south as it gets.” Applejack held the door open with her hip as she shooed Rarity through it. “We’re gonna go get a drink, or maybe a whole bunch of ’em. What’s your poison?”
There it was: Several thousand tons of steel and wood, twisted and warped into a torture device meant for inexplicably willing participants. Rarity’s eyes followed the track as it rose slowly, dropped at a near breakneck angle, then proceeded through a series of dizzying twists and turns that were making her feel ill before she even got on the thing. She popped a few more chocolate mints into her mouth and felt her stomach settle for the moment.
Pinkie nudged Rarity into the snaking line that led to the front car. “You’re gonna love this ride, Rars! Did you know this used to be the fastest thing in Equestria? Not the fastest coaster . The fastest thing! ”
A car filled with shrieking ponies rumbled overhead.
“I think they might be exaggerating that claim just a tad,” Rarity said, trying to keep her spirits up. “So, you’ve been on this a few times without success?”
“Twenty-three times!” Pinkie stepped in close and pressed her nose against Rarity’s. “Twenty. Three. That’s more than any other ride ever. It’s that good! ”
“I’ll... take your word for it. Or... I suppose I’ll find out myself very soon.”
A burly stallion from the next line over poked his head between the two mares. “Sorry, did you say you’ve been on this thing twenty-three times?”
Pinkie nodded. “Ya-huh! Last time I was here, I went on it four times in a row.”
The stallion’s eyes lit up. “So you got the shirt?”
“No,” Pinkie replied with a heavy sigh. “Somepony always loses it at the quintuple corkscrews.”
The stallion winced. “Ooh, tough break.” He pointed over his shoulder to a group of grim-faced, coaster-hardened stallions. “Well, we’re going on this thing until we get one, so if you girls keep it together, we’re golden.” He squinted at Rarity. “How about her? How many times for her?”
“Erm, first attempt, actually,” Rarity admitted.
There was a collective groan from the rest of the group. Their apparent leader barked out a quick retort. “Quit whining, you pansies! You all came knowing we were two stallions down. We’ll just have to keep trying until we get lucky.”
“Hey! Just ’cause she’s totally gorgeous doesn’t mean she’s isn’t tough!” Pinkie said, poking the stallion in the chest with one hoof while pointing at Rarity with the other. “Once, when we were all really scared, Rarity here kicked a manticore right in the face!” Pinkie pulled herself up to her full height and pressed her forehead against the stallion’s, staring him in the eye. “Right. In. The. Face. And she skydived down from Cloudsdale this one time!” Turning, Pinkie hooked her leg around Rarity’s shoulder and pulled her into a tight embrace. “This tough cookie doesn’t toss her cookies. She’ll be the last cookie to crumble, and if any pony knows her cookies, it’s me. That shirt’s as good as ours!”
“Well, I hardly like to brag, darling,” Rarity said quietly. “But... yes! I promised her she would get her trophy, and I am a mare of my word. You’ve nothing to fear. Soon we will all be clad in those... things!”
The stallion’s gaze drifted back and forth between the two mares before he finally nodded. “All right, then. We’re all in it together.” He held out his hoof to Pinkie, smiling as she bumped it. Grinning, he held it out for Rarity. “Good luck!”
Rarity hesitated for the briefest of moments before following suit. “Luck is for ponies who won’t put in the effort to succeed, darling. I make my own.”
Pinkie snatched up Rarity’s hoof as they shuffled forward in line, then pointed to a glistening blob that Rarity had nearly stepped on. “Watch out. Some dirty birdy ponies just spit their gum out any ol’ place. It’s kinda gross. Anyway, I figure that we can go on the Powerdive here seven or eight times, and then maybe head over to The Spindigo. It’s super fun!” Still clutching Rarity’s hoof, Pinkie clasped it between hers and held them all her chest while breaking into a rapturous grin. “It spins around so fast that you stick to the wall and everypony’s just hanging there when they drop the floor out!”
Rarity mouthed the words ‘seven or eight times’ in disbelief. “I...” She stopped herself before finishing what she was thinking. She had been about to say ‘I think this was a mistake.’ But she had given her word. So then, there was only one solution: she had to make sure there was no need for a second time. They would get on, Rarity would hold on for dear life, she would not lose her gorge, and all would be well. “We’ll see about the Spinny thing after we best this ‘Powerdive’.”
“Sure, sure,” Pinkie said, snuggling up to Rarity. “We’ve got all night to hit whatever rides we want! Oh, we’re here!”
The worn steel gate creaked open and Pinkie bounded through. Wiggling her way into the car’s far seat, she patted the nearer one. “C’mon! We gotta get the restraints all locked in!”
Rarity looked around frantically for any and all ways of locking them in place. She knew she was in for a frightful ride, but any additional jarring she could avoid would help her make it through. “Stay still, love.” She proceeded to bring down the restraint bar on both of them, lock the safety belts in place, and just for good measure she said a quick prayer to Celestia and Luna for strength. She then prayed to Cadence as well, though she omitted Twilight, just in case she could actually hear it. She wasn’t quite sure how that worked, to be honest, but it made her feel a little better to do it and harmed nopony, except possibly for bothering a princess who had better things to do... She then said a quick apology to each of the princesses for pestering them.
“Pinkie?” she said, her hooves firmly planted on the restraint bar.
“Yeah?” Pinkie replied, rapidly batting her eyelashes.
“I... I just wanted you to know, just in case things go badly... Which they won’t!” she added quickly, her eyes wide and frantic. “Everything will be fine, but just in case it isn’t fine... I... I love you, and I’m sorry for being standoffish with you, truly I am.” She wanted to add more, about how horrid she felt about letting her unresolved issues get in the way of a new relationship, and how much she adored Pinkie, but frankly she worried she would start crying and ruin her face paint. “That’s... that’s all.”
Pinkie’s mouth dropped open. “You… love me? For really?”
“So much that it scares me,” Rarity managed to squeak out in a rush. “That’s why I was worried about—” She cut herself off, not wanting to get into her baggage when they could very well be—Perfectly fine! Everything was going to be perfectly fine!
Pinkie took Rarity’s hoof in her own. “Um, well… I-I guess nopony has really told me that before. I mean, sure, my folks have, but it’s not the same thing. Oh, Rarity—Whoa!”
The coaster lurched into motion, loudly clattering up the monstrous hill. Pinkie gave Rarity’s hoof a squeeze. “You told me you’d need some room, but Applejack always says I’m in ponies’ personal spaces all the time. So I tried to be really good and patient and stuff, but I just really hoped you’d like the Expo and, um... me , and so I just thought maybe we’d have a great time, and you’d want to have even more great times in the future, and… and you’d want to have them with me—”
“That’s... that’s never been anything to do with you. I’m the one—” Rarity stopped again, not wanting to delve into that mess. “Suffice to say, yes, darling. I’d love to spend more time with you, and... if you want to... we can call it dating, now.” Rarity made herself a promise: she would not let her past rule her. She would push on, and lie if she must, but Pinkie deserved her all.
The coaster slowed as it tipped over the crest of the hill. For a moment, all was still. The vast space between their car and the ground below yawn before them. Pinkie wiggled, making room for her tail. With a shy grin, she twined it around Rarity’s hind leg and squeezed. “So I guess we’re taking the plunge?”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Rarity replied, grinning with gritted teeth.
Ever so slowly, the car tipped over the hill. Pinkie’s grin widened, and she gripped Rarity as tightly as she could manage. “Okay, now I think it helps to think about candy canes. They’re pretty minty, and this first drop is a doozy! When we start going up again, it kinda feels like you’re turning into a pancake, so, um, candy canes with maple syrup… if that helps.”
Rarity had to laugh at the mental image, despite how nervous she was.
Then they were falling. It started slowly, almost gently, but within a few seconds, the car was whizzing down the hill at a terrifying clip. Behind them, the stallions vocalized as one. Mirroring the speed, they groaned softly, but with ever-increasing volume, until they were shouting at the top of their lungs.
Pinkie’s hair streamed out behind her while she leaned into the wind. “Here we go, Rars!” Tears streamed from her eyes and traced wet paths back to her ears. Pinkie blinked and rubbed her face with her free hoof. Turning slightly, she caught Rarity’s eye and mouthed again. “Here we go!”
Rarity nodded, doing her best to smile despite being terrified. She could survive this. She would survive this.
At the bottom of the hill, the G forces flattened them like a falling boulder. Pinkie and Rarity groaned as they were crushed down into their seats. But almost before they could process the sensation, they were through it and ascending of the second hill.
“How you doing?” the stallion behind Rarity yelled over her shoulder.
“I’ll tell you in a moment. I think I left my stomach at the bottom of that drop. I might need that in the future,” she quipped, hoping she sounded witty. Truthfully, she just felt a little numb. That had been terrifying, but not... not nearly as bad as she’d feared.
The pair floated up from their seats as they reached the top of the hill, and their restraining bar dug into their thighs. Pinkie whooped and threw her hooves up into the air, dragging Rarity’s right hoof along with them. “Okay, now we’re gonna drop into the first loop. Don’t look sideways, or the world will be all whirly! That’s where newbies always lose it the first time.”
“Wait, which way sideways? Or am I meant to close my eyes or—”
The car flipped upside down, slowing for a moment, then accelerating down the back of the loop. “You did it, Rars!” Pinkie cried, squeezing Rarity’s leg with her tail. “You’re a natural!”
“Eheh... N-nothing to it.”
“Well, that’s good, ’cause here comes the triple helix!”
Rarity closed her eyes as tightly as she could, bracing herself against the bar. “Let’s do this!” she yelled out in defiance of her own fears.
The crushing pressure returned when the car tipped sideways and careened through three tightly wound spirals. Behind them, the stallions moaned.
“Keep it together, Flashpoint!”
“Remember the deal! Whoever loses it is buying rounds for a month!”
“I’m good! I’m good!”
The track twisted again, and they were suddenly headed back the way they’d come, threading below and then through the steel structure. Beams of grimy metal shot alarmingly close to their heads at astonishing speed.
“Okay, this next part is weird,” Pinkie said, trying to point out in front of her. The G forces were making it difficult to lift her hoof properly. One second it weighed several tons, the next it was light as a feather. “Now it’s time for the corkscrews, but this coaster’s are kinda different. It’ll spin us like normal, but then we’ll go straight up and over, then back down again in a vertical corkscrew! After that, we’ll go underground!”
“Fine!” Rarity gasped out. “Just...just warn me when the spinning starts.” Her stomach lurched, and she quickly brought out another mint, chewing it like her life depended on it.
“Right noooooooow!”
It was a sensation quite like being trapped in a taffy puller. The mares’ bodies were flung in one direction, then another, and then yet another, never quite settling. Their manes whipped in the wind, battering the pony next to them, flying into their own faces, standing on end. The world outside twisted and turned like something out of a fevered dream.
“Wheeeeeee!” Pinkie kept her hooves high above her head. “I wish we had one of these in Ponyville! We could ride it all the time! ”
“That... would be quite a thing,” Rarity said, mostly to herself. It was difficult to tell how she was feeling at that moment. She’d gone in with the worst possible expectations, and found... that this wasn’t beyond her. She wasn’t quite prepared to call it fun , but it wasn’t the worst possible thing either.
“Well, get ready, ’cause now it’s gonna be really dark. It’s all twisty and swoopy under there, but I can’t really describe it. Did you ever get caught in the dryer? It’s kinda like that. You just spin around and around until somepony comes to check on the sheets and pulls you out.”
If Pinkie has ever done that for fun, it explains so much about her, Rarity thought wryly. She then berated herself for being so petty. She’d likely have wallowed in self-recrimination for a while if not for the bottom of the world dropping out from under her at that moment.
Her eyes snapped open, seeing nothing but a distant spot of light far in the distance. She had no other points of reference. The dot twisted around, weaving from left to right, becoming a little larger with each passing second.
“I’m... not gonna... make it…!” a deep voice screamed out in the darkness.
“Flashpoint, I swear to Celestia if you flake now...”
The light was coming even closer, and there was a disorientation that came with it. She could see the track ahead, only it was upside down. A quick lurch righted the world once more, and they flew out of the tunnel.
There was a moment of complete shock. She had done it? She giggled giddily, wondering if her sanity was perhaps slipping, but not really caring if it was. Is this the best you can do, you monster? I’ve faced far worse!
Pinkie threw her head back and cackled. Her eyes were gleaming when she gave Rarity a brilliant smile. “Isn’t this the best? First, your stomach’s all up in the air, and then it’s laying on the ground, and then zoom! You’re twisting and turning and forgetting which way’s up! Roller coasters are superduperfunnerific!”
“What’s next?” Rarity asked, not even dreading the answer. She was actively wondering why ponies had such trouble on this ride, now. Yes, it was uncomfortable, and bumpy, and it twisted you about, but unbeatable? Hardly.
“The photo section! Smile!”
“Wait, you never said anything about pictures—”
The night lit up as flashbulbs popped all around them. “Ooh, that’ll be a good one!” Pinkie said while she removed an ‘I heart Rarity’ baseball cap and pushed it deep into her voluminous mane. “Now we go into—whoa!”
The stars swam before them when the car suddenly accelerated and ascended vertically. Pinkie’s cheeks rippled, and a thin line of saliva trailed away from her wide-open mouth. With substantial effort, she turned her head slightly to look at Rarity. “Okay, so we’ll—”
The words were lost when the car dove, then entered a corkscrew teardrop. In the seats behind, the stallions shrieked in unison. Several were yelling prayers to the Sisters, while the stallion directly behind Rarity seems to be apologizing to relatives for his choices in life. Around them, the horizon spun as though Discord himself were controlling it.
Pinkie screamed and laughed and cried all at the same time. Each turn was a delight. Each twist took away her breath and replaced it with a kind of desperate laughter. It was life on the edge. Pure adrenaline, and she was finally sharing it with somepony. Well, she was when she could still talk.
“Okay, okay,” she said, gasping for air. “This is the famous—”
“Yes, it’s going to be something scary, I get it,” Rarity shouted back. She raised her voice, screaming at the machinery around her. “Bring it on, you monstrosity! You won’t best me!”
“No, it’s—”
A sudden, blinding flash, and they were soaring through the open air. Below them, their shadows sped across the pillowy cloud tops. Pinkie leaned into the wind and spread her wings wide, rising on a current of warm air.
Rarity looked around in alarm. She was in the sky. In the sky, with a pink griffon, and... she looked down at herself. She had claws, and feathers, and wings . “What?!”
Pinkie’s beak pulled into a wide grin. “Isn’t it the best? The griffons spent a ton of bits making this thing so that everypony would know what it’s like to be them!” Tucking her legs tightly against her sleek, muscular body, Pinkie looped over Rarity. “For just a little while, we can flip and flap and fly all over the place. C’mon!” Pinkie banked sharply and made for the nearest cloud.
Rarity’s body moved without thought, pursuing her pink paramour regardless of her apparent species. “How can you be so incredibly blasé about this? We’ve changed species, and I have no idea where we are, and where is the roller coaster?”
“It’s still there,” Pinkie laughed suddenly as a tuft of stray cloud tickled her nose... or beak, rather. “It’s going through this really loooooong, really enchaaaaaanted tunnel. While we’re in there, we’re out here, flying around! In our heads, anyway. Kinda like pretending really, really hard,” Pinkie shot Rarity a wistful glance. “You know, I always wanted to fly. Ever since I first saw the Rainboom, I wanted to go up into the sky and see if I could find where it came from. I even built a machine to take me up there. They said I was crazy to try to do it without a balloon, but I did it anyway!” Pinkie pointed at Rarity’s wings. “But you got to do it for really! I was sooo jealous. I mean, I was happy for you, but I wanted to try, too! But then Twi wouldn’t use that spell again! Something about it being too dangerous and me dying or something.”
“I see... so all of those horrid dives and twists and turns were meant to evoke... flight?” Rarity tried to wrap her head around that concept. It wasn’t how she might have chosen to fly, but she imagined somepony like Rainbow Dash—or Pinkie Pie, for that matter—would find it quite enjoyable to fly in that fashion.
Pinkie pumped her wings. Several moments later she was high overhead. “Yeah!” she called down. “First they show you what to do, and then you get to do it for yourself. Remember that part that was all super-fast and went in a circle like raaawwwmmm? Well...” Pinkie tucked her wings. Aiming for Rarity, she fell like a stone, but at the last moment, she spread her wings wide and twisted hard to the left. Several feathers tore from her back as she screamed through several tight helixes around her marefriend. “You get to do all that stuff yourself now! Well, real in a pretend, not-actually-happening-at-all kinda way.”
“Hmmm. Conditioning the body to know how to move...” Rarity wondered what Twilight would make of such things. Of course, knowing Twilight, she’d have a spell at hoof to change the race of a pony, so the whole point would be moot, but not everypony was friends with the element of magic. “And you’ve done this twenty times, you say? I suppose I see why, now.”
Pinkie grinned broadly. “Twenty-three times! But this is the best one.” With a burst of speed, she pulled ahead of Rarity. Twisting, she spread her wings wide and glided backwards while grasping both of Rarity’s claws with her own. “Flying is fun and all, but, well, it’s kinda lonely up here by myself. That’s why this one is special. ’Cause I’m with you.”
A lump formed in Rarity’s throat, and she forced it down painfully. “You’re... you’re far too kind, love. I...” At a loss for words, she trailed off helplessly. So, this was how she was going to spend these precious moments?
No, no, we can do better.
She smiled wickedly. “I have an idea.” She flew close, encircling Pinkie’s waist with her forelegs as she brought her beak as close to Pinkie’s earholes as she could manage and whispered: “Catch me if you can.” Then she flew off, cackling madly.
Pinkie flapped in place, blinking for a moment. “Wha-huh? Wait! No fair!” Pumping her wings, she dove after Rarity. “Oh, that’s how it is, huh? Well, you can’t get away from Pinkie Pie! I’ve played more games of Tag than all of Ponyville put together. I’m coming to getcha!”
Rarity gave a strong pump to her wings, ascending into the clouds that drifted lazily over the mountains. She was flying, and it was exhilarating. Of course she was going to be caught soon, but she could lead a merry chase until then.
“Ooo—almost!” Pinkie said while she plummeted past Rarity, who had rolled out of the way at the last second. She shot Rarity a feral grin. “You know how griffons are, right? This is a hunt, and I’m not giving up that easy!” With the lightning fast reflexes her new form offered, Pinkie snatched off a piece of cloud and threw it right into Rarity’s face. She arrowed for her marefriend with a snorted giggle. “Ha! Gotcha!”
Rarity closed her wings, dropping like a stone, opening them again several hundred feet below. “Try again, darling!” She laughed, swooping along the mountaintops.
“Oh, two can play at that game!” Pinkie cried, folding her wings tightly against her body. “And that’s probably more fun, too.” Spreading her wings wide again, Pinkie came to a stop and tapped her chin with a claw. “I mean, who wants to play a one pony—or I guess griffon— game? That would be—hey!” Claws on her hips, Pinkie glared down at the rapidly disappearing Rarity. “Are you trying to distract me?” Tucking her wings again, Pinkie fell. Black spots crept into the edges of her vision, but she gritted her beak and pushed onwards, hurtling toward Rarity at a breakneck speed. “You’re my flying fish, and I’m gonna catch you!”
“Oh? I thought you were my fish,” Rarity called back, flying upside down and sticking her avian tongue out.
“Not right now! I’m doing the catching today. Speaking of, how about this? ” With a twist of her wings, Pinkie disappeared into a nearby cloudbank. Listening intently, Pinkie crouched. Rarity was out there. Waiting. Wondering. Probably sweating or panting or whatever it was that birds and/or cats did. Pinkie coiled her strong rear legs and waited for the perfect moment. With a wiggle of her hindquarters, she pounced, erupting from the cloud with a roar.
Rarity waved from her perch on top of the cloudbank. “Ooo, that was ferocious! Opal would be so proud!”
“Aww, that was a good one, too!” Pinkie drew a deep breath and spread her wings wide. “Okay, so you’re agile and sneaky, but what about—” The air behind Pinkie collapsed in a sharp pop as she shot forward “—pure speed? ”
“Oh, that does sound fun!” Rarity wiggled her hindquarters, springing forth in a direct collision course with Pinkie. At the last possible second she did a barrel-roll, reaching out with a wing tip to tickle Pinkie’s underbelly. She then banked upwards, landing on another cloud and watching below with curious eyes.
Pinkie dropped several feet while she attempted to get her giggling under control. Her belly had always been ticklish, but the wind pulling at her feathers made it especially sensitive. “Ooh, you!” she snarled with mock-ferocity. “You’ve done it now!” Pinkie locked eyes with Rarity and worked her wings into a blur. “Did you know the princesses-es-es outlawed brocade yesterday?”
“Oh?” Rarity called from her perch, diving into the cloud as Pinkie was just about to catch her. “Because I heard it was frosting. Are you sure?”
Pinkie’s eyes flew wide, and her jaw dropped. Spreading her wings, she pulled up short. “What?! How could they—Why would—I mean… hey! ” Pinkie set her claws on her hips. “Now that’s just downright underhoofed! Underclawed! Whatever!”
Rarity cackled in delight. “All’s fair in love and war, darling!”
Pinkie paused for a moment, then alighted on the nearby cloud top. “Rars,” she said softly.
Rarity poked her head out of the cloud. “Yes?”
Pinkie rubbed her foreleg, then swallowed hard. “I-I wanted to be all hunty, but I’ve never really been all that good at it. Unless it’s a pie. Mrs. Cake says I can find her pies no matter where she hides them. But… but the thing with Hide and Seek or Tag is that once you catch the other pony, the game might be over, and I don’t want things to be over for us. Ever.” Pinkie held out a claw in invitation. “Maybe I’m not a ferociously huntariffic griffon, or even a sorta scary pony, but I was thinking about things when I was flying after you. I’m pretty sure that I’m a fish after all. I’m hooked. I… well, I just hope you’re hooked, too.” Pinkie grinned. “We don’t have much time left up here. You wanna be flying fish together?”
Rarity smiled, as much as a griffish face can be said to smile. On her, it looked a bit like a cat that has finally caught the mouse and has decided to stop toying with it. “I’ve been hooked from the start, darling. Forgive me for teasing you, I just thought it might be fun to play like you play for a change.” She came out of her cloud, joining Pinkie on hers.
“It was!” Pinkie replied, her tail feathers wagging. “And it totally doesn’t even count as a lost game of Tag! Everypony knows that Mindtag doesn’t count.” Twining her claws into Rarity’s, she unfurled her wings. “On three?”
“One.”
Pinkie crouched, her rump wiggling as she tamped down the cloud with her back paws. “Two.”
“Three!”
In unison, the griffons leapt from the cloud and shot out into the open sky. The cold air pulled at their feathers, and Pinkie tried to move in closer, only to get her wings tangled momentarily with Rarity’s. They giggled as the fell several yards, then rose again.
“Oh, phooey.” Pinkie released Rarity’s claw and gave her wings three hard pumps. Rising, she angled over until she was above her marefriend. “I don’t know how griffons get any snuggle time in. Fold your wings up.”
“Hmmm, as much as I understand this all to be a projection into my mind... I don’t think I wish to fall to the earth.” Rarity tittered nervously, looking down at the ground below. “I’ve had some bad experiences if you recall.”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “No, silly! I’m gonna carry you.” Drifting down, she wrapped both her front and rear legs around Rarity.
“Ah, that makes more sense.”
“Just making sure you can’t get away!” Pinkie whispered into Rarity’s earhole. Sighing, she raised a claw and pointed off into the horizon. “Just look at it, Rars. It’s a whole sky, and it’s here just for you and me. We’re the only two ponies—err, griffons —in the world right now.” Pinkie gave Rarity a squeeze. “It’s nice, just maybe for a little while, to know that some prettier pony, or… or one with better table manners or something, isn’t going to come along and sweep you off your hooves. Claws.” Pinkie’s brow furrowed as she thought for a moment. “Clooves, maybe?”
“Jealousy? Who are you and what have you done with my Pinkie?”
Pinkie dropped her eyes. “I know. I’m a silly pony about stuff, and that’s mostly good, I think. But sometimes I’m bad-silly. Sometimes I look at myself in the upstairs mirror, and I…” Pinkie swallowed. “I think you must think you’ve made a mistake, and… and I don’t wanna be a mistake.”
Pinkie squeezed again. Longer this time, before running her claws across the soft, downy feathers on Rarity’s chest. “But you said you’re hooked, and that makes me the happiest, fishiest griffon-pony in all of imaginary Sky-Equestria. When I get home, I’m gonna march right up to that mirror upstairs and tell it that I really am being bad-silly.”
“You are being very silly, yes,” Rarity replied, nuzzling the top of her head into Pinkie’s neck. “Fortunately, it’s part of your charm.”
Pinkie adjusted the angle of her wings and sent them arcing gently around a blindingly white cloud. “Look, Rarity. Isn’t it just like lots and lots of vanilla cotton candy? I always love it here, but it makes me hungry. At least this time I’m not kinda lonely, too.”
Pinkie flapped a few more times, then held her wings out wide, gliding on the warm, rising currents the spell provided them. “We’re almost out of time, but I wanna show you what it means to me. What you mean to me.”
With a deft twist of her wings, Pinkie snapped into a barrel roll and launched Rarity into the air above them.
For just a moment, Rarity panicked, then she remembered she was not going fall, could not fall, in fact. Instead, she allowed her momentum to carry her up into the air, forgoing the fear response of flailing her limbs about.
Giggling, Pinkie snatched her marefriend out of the air and drew her close again, snuggling their chests together. “Now hold on.”
Rarity laughed lightly. “Easier said than done. Warn me the next time you plan to toss me about!”
“Roger, roger! But, see? Now we’re both hooked!” Pinkie poked her beak down at their interlocked limbs. “You’ve got me, and I’ve got you. Always and forever, and I’ll…” Pinkie looked away for a second, swallowing again. “I’ll try to stop being bad-silly. You deserve better than that.”
Rarity’s heart welled up in her chest, making it difficult to speak. The constant praise was both wonderful and terrible for her ego. For a brief moment, she worried what the fall would be like from this pedestal Pinkie had her perched on. She hoped she could maintain her balance. “I’m... not so great as you might think, but—”
Pinkie leaned in, and for a moment, the world fell away. Beaks pressed firmly together, limbs intertwined, they glided instinctively without destination or worry. They drifted through several clouds, emerging trembling and dew-covered on the opposite sides, but aware of none of it. Together, chest to chest, their hearts beat as one.
For several moments, Rarity was quite speechless. She’d been admired, lusted after, but in the face of such deep, unconditional love she had no idea how to respond. Eventually she found her voice. “Pinkie, I... please don’t take this the wrong way, but you simply can’t think of me as some perfect creature—”
“Uh, Rars? You’re probably gonna want to hold on.”
“I... I already am?”
All around the pair, the clouds twisted and smeared across the sky. Reality itself seemed to undulate and tear, and behind it, rust-stained steel track screamed by. Shrieks, bizarrely disjointed and distorted, rose and fell in volume and pitch, growing steadily more persistent as the sky unraveled. As the final remnants of spell broke, the ground flew up at them at breakneck speed.
“Wait! What’s going on now?” Rarity demanded, looking around wildly. After ascertaining that she was apparently back from their shared dream, she immediately closed her eyes tightly, focusing only on remaining calm, and not losing the contents of her stomach.
Beside her, Pinkie melted back into her seat, her body compressing under incredible g-forces as the car rocketed through the hill’s nadir and into a double loop. Around them, the horizon flipped, then flipped again, while the battalion of battle-hardened coaster enthusiasts in the cars behind groaned pitifully.
Struggling against the crushing pressure, Pinkie slowly reached over and took Rarity’s right hoof in her left again. Her right hoof was busy covering her mouth. Pinkie’s eyes were startlingly blue against the newly green cast her face had taken on.
Rarity’s eyes fluttered open at the contact, and she looked in surprise at Pinkie’s visage. Surely they wouldn’t lose this chance because of Pinkie! That would be horrid! “Pinkie, are you going to be all right?”
Pinkie swallowed. “Almost done. Just keep it together!”
Both ponies slammed right, then left, before flipping upside down and diving back toward the earth. Below them, trembling ponies cringed when the car flashed by them, with several of them shaking their heads in wide-eyed denial. The coaster crested another hill, dropped back into a vertical dive, then curved into a banking turn so tight that Pinkie’s cheeks rippled.
“All right, this is just getting downright discourteous!” Rarity screamed out over the wind. “Are they trying to kill us?”
Growling, beads of sweat erupted on Pinkie’s brow while she fought to lift her hoof from the bar. “Look, Rars. Almost! There!” Pinkie’s leg wavered wildly as pointed to the station, which was approaching far, far too quickly.
“I swear to Celestia if I die, I will haunt whoever was responsible for this travesty for several generations!”
The platform was strangely crowded. Several official-looking ponies stood beside large flower displays that seemed to have been hastily dragged to the ride. Behind them, several rows of park-goers cheered and waved. All parties blinked and rubbed their eyes as two young and apparently eager photographers snapped a seemingly endless series of flash photographs.
Rarity blinked away the white spots in her eyes, flailing about madly. “If this is the light at the end of the tunnel, I will be very cross!”
The air was blasted from their lungs as the coaster’s brakes engaged, and only the shoulder restraints keep Rarity and Pinkie from slamming their heads on the sweat-slicked safety bar before them. Behind them, the stallions laughed weakly. Some were still groaning, but the mares could hear congratulations and hoof bumps being passed around.
“We did it.” Pinkie’s eyes were shining when she turned to Rarity. The green in her cheeks was slowly fading. “Rarity, we did it! You did it! Oh, Rarity, you’re amazing!”
Rarity didn’t answer, slowly allowing her senses to report on her body’s current condition. Bruised seemed to be a start, but pain meant she was in fact alive. She was breathing, raggedly, but it was in fact happening. Either this was some heretofore unknown state of death or... actually thinking like that was pointless, since all the researchers who attempted to research death had come to the conclusion that dying to test a hypothesis was literally suicide. So, she was either alive, or she could not tell the difference, in which case she might as well be alive since she would never know otherwise.
Distantly, she got reports from her stomach, but she was busy with what her eyes were telling her. There was a crowd of excited ponies and other creatures gathered all around her, pointing hooves and claws in her general direction, and some were snapping pictures. Her ears were relaying a cacophony of sound, there being far too many voices to make out what was being said.
Pinkie twisted in her seat as far as the restraints would allow. “See? See? I told you guys that she was a tough cookie! Like one where you rolled the dough too many times and put in way too much flour! That’s what my Rarity is! She’s full of flour!” Pinkie looked away for a second and brought her hoof to her chin. “Or… or maybe flowers. Yeah! That’s why she smells so good! You put too many flowers into your cookie dough and it’s gonna be tough, and that’s what Rarity here is! She’s like a lumpy cookie with petals and stems and stuff sticking out. That’s how tough she is!”
A rousing cheer erupted from the cars behind them. The overjoyed stallions turned Rarity’s name into an enthusiastic victory chant. As the cars neared the station, several onlookers shared questioning looks and shrugs between each other, then picked up the chant, as well.
Pinkie hopped in her seat and squeezed Rarity’s leg with her tail again. “Look, Rarity! They’re all waiting for you ’cause you did it! It’s been years!” Pinkie’s wide smile retreated slightly. Her marefriend still hadn’t released her death grip on the restraints. “Uh, Rars. You okay?”
Rarity simply glanced about in utter confusion. If this was in fact the afterlife, the smell left much to be desired. Her eyes finally fell on a pink hoof next to hers, and she let go of the restraining bar to snatch it up before it could get away.
Pinkie wanted to continue grinning, but the squeeziness of Rarity’s grip was a little bit painful. It was adding some grimace to the smile, but this wasn’t really a frowny sort of time, no matter how bone-crushing the grip might be. After a brief conference with her face, one which did not involve free conference donuts, she inventing the Smimace, which had lots of smile still in it, but maybe a little worried look around the eyes and a certain tightening of the cheeks and lips. “I-I’m not going anywhere, Rars. Look!” Pinkie pointed to the shoulder restraints with her other hoof. “We’re still locked in.”
Rarity obediently looked at the restraints, though they meant very little to her at first. After some consideration she decided they annoyed her. How was she meant to get on with the business of haunting locked up like this? The reports from her stomach were becoming more urgent, but she was still coming to terms with her other senses. Touch checked in to tell her the hoof she had clenched to her chest was warm. Smell continued to report all sorts of horrible things. Sight and sound were a little muddled, since there was a lot of input coming in. And finally, taste told her a horrible amount of stomach acid had made its way up her esophagus when her middle had been crushed at the sudden stop.
All of this seemed to more or less confirm her earlier supposition; she was alive after all. Which meant she should logically be able to interact with the world in a more meaningful way than haunting it. She tested this by opening her mouth, the abruptly snapped it shut when a loud belch made its way from her lips.
“Good one!” Pinkie gulped down a huge breath, then another. Concentrating, she opened her mouth and issued a three note belch of her own before shooting glance at one of the stallions in the next car. “Your turn.”
The next ringing burp was just fading when the restraints finally snapped open. The crowd roared with renewed vigor, and the park officials and photographers rushed forward. A rotund, moustached unicorn stallion sporting a somewhat thread-worn tuxedo jacket knelt slightly and offered Rarity his hoof. “Might I be the first to congratulate you, my dear? It’s been eleven years!”
Rarity blinked, then long-ingrained social etiquette training took over. She smiled, letting go of Pinkie’s hoof. Extending her own to the portly unicorn, she stood up gracefully, lurching only slightly at the sudden stillness of the ground. “Um... thank—”
“That’s no way for a hero to return!” Pinkie bounded over Rarity’s head and twisted in midair to land facing her marefriend. Her hooves were a blur as she trotted in place. “We gotta do this right! C’mon, you guys! Get her up!”
Hooves wound their way around Rarity, and she suddenly found herself high overhead on the shoulders of several of the wildly cheering stallions. The mob continued chanting her name while they jostled back and forth on the uneven ground, trying to stay in their close supportive formation while negotiating the platform. Nearly falling, Rarity’s hoof shot out and searched for some sort of anchor.
“Rari—Ow! ” The stallion tried to turn his head to look up at her, but her crushing grip on his ear made the movement difficult.
The sudden jostling was making her poor middle seize up in a tight, painful ball full of searing fire. While she clutched desperately to the poor stallion beneath her, she rummaged her saddlebag for the sack of mints.
Pinkie waved at the group over to where a mousey brown pegasus mare in a faded orange Expo staff vest stood next to a table stacked high with neon-bright t-shirts. Pinkie plucked the top one from the pile and waved it overhead. “The shirts! Guys, over here!”
The mare held up a tentative hoof. “I-if I could, um, just—”
Pinkie thrust her head deep into the shirt. Wiggling, she seemed lost for a moment before her head squeezed its way out of one of the leg holes. “Oops. Wrong way.”
The timid mare tried to gently pull Pinkie onto a line of tape that had been laid out on the splintered coaster platform. “No, but if y-you could—”
“Hold on, um—” Pinkie’s eye suddenly peered out from one of the shirt’s leg-holes and scanned the mare’s name tag “—Scirocco. I think I’ve almost got it.” Diving back into the recesses of the shirt, Pinkie somehow managed to nearly disappear. Muttered growls mixed with a few snorts of frustration emerged from within, while Pinkie’s hooves and mane poked out every so often. Finally, while a triumphant cry, Pinkie popped back out and stood proudly.
“There! Oh.” Pinkie frowned at the shirt, which was nicely covering her rear half, rather than the front. Her bushy tail waved at her from the hole her head should have gone through. “Eh, close enough. Guys, hurry up!”
The stallions nearly ran Rarity into a rusting metal sign overhead when they surged forward. They dipped down at the last second, and interrupted their chanting to point hooves at each other briefly. Like a mythical, many-legged beast of yore, they scuttled over the platform to the table. Scirocco, who was still trying to get Pinkie into a photo op position, took one look at the mob and shrank away into the shadows.
“P-Pinkie,” Rarity gasped out, trying to keep her mouth closed to avoid another embarrassing expulsion of gas. “I need a moment to find my mints—”
“We’ll go get more candy later, Rars. This is your big moment, and we’re gonna make it really special for you!” Pinkie leapt up onto the nearest stallion’s head. Balancing on one hoof between his ears, she opened the shirt wide and stuffed Rarity into it. She frowned when it caught on the unicorn’s horn, then reached in to unhook the stubborn cloth before forcing Rarity’s head through. “Ah! There! You look great! Well, besides the smeary face-paint, but overall, doesn’t she look great, guys?”
Cheering, the stallions hoisted her as high as their legs could manage several times, and the crowd roared its approval.
“Can you please stop shaking me around? I—” Rarity clamped her mouth shut as another acidic bubble made its way up her esophagus. “I need something—”
“Picture time!” Pinkie trotted over to the photographers and nudged them into place. “Everypony get those shirts on!”
Rarity dipped and swayed like a boat tossing on high seas while the stallions below her wiggled into their prizes. From the mass of madly grinning face, one set of concerned eyes stared up at her. “Hey. Hey are you—” he began before the stallion next to him threw a shirt into his face.
“This is going to be so huge, Rars!” Pinkie said as she skidded to a stop in front of the assemblage. Kneeling, she threw her front hooves wide and gave her best party photo smile. “It’ll be just the way you like it! Your name in all the papers! Your face plastered up all over Equestria! Everypony remembering who you are ’cause of what you did here! Could this date be any more perfect?”
Rarity opened her mouth to answer, and at that moment flashbulbs popped all around them when the remnants of ‘The Matrimonial’ erupted forth from her violently.
Several long seconds of silence stretched out between them while Applejack sat blinking at Rarity. “You mean you… You...”
Rarity dropped her eyes to her glass and nodded.
“All over everypony? ”
Rarity knocked back another shot, signalling for one more. The daiquiris were no longer quite cutting it for her, and she’d changed to stronger and stronger drinks as the tale wore on.
“Huh. Okay, so, uh... what’d you do next?”
Rarity grimaced as she drank, tapping the bar for yet another shot. “I did what any sensible pony would do: I bolted out of there like my mane was on fire, found the nearest thing that passed for a restroom, and locked the door, intending to never come out again.”
Step Seven: The Next Step
Fluttershy sat bolt upright, her eyes wide, and her trembling hooves covering her mouth. “R-Rarity, um… She really...”
“Yeah.” Pinkie’s voice was soft as she stared into her bowl of peach soup. She swirled her spoon in it for a moment, tracking the little bits of pepper that floated in the mixture. Finally, she sighed. “I thought it was going to be everything that she wanted. You know, like a super duper fashion show-press event-success party all mushed up into one thing. I mean, it had it all! Reporters. Cheering fans. Snazzy new shirts fresh from the air-brushing booth made just for us to parade around in. Tiny deep-fried pats of butter on itty-bitty party toothpicks. It was really top shelf.”
Fluttershy chewed delicately around the edge of her hoof. The story had left her so pale that she was nearly white. “But when you say that there were a lot of ponies there, you don’t mean a whole lot , do you?”
Pinkie poked her spoon into the soup a few more times, then dropped her head into her hoof. When her forelock fell into her eyes, she blew it away, then focused on Fluttershy again. She offered the pegasus a small, sad smile. “Oh, I mean a whole whole lot. Like, the full allotment of lots was totally all used up. That big lot behind Applejack’s barn couldn’t have held all the lots.”
Fluttershy squeaked and sank a little lower into her chair. “So… so what happened?” she said, her voice barely a whisper.
“Uh…” Pinkie looked away and chewed her lip for a moment. “Well, it was sort of stand-still super quietish for a bit. I mean, nothing crazy. Not more than, say, two or three minutes of everypony just standing there looking at Rarity up on those shoulders while they were all covered in barf. I kinda thought it was going to be okay right then, even though the photographers kept taking all those pictures. Rarity was only half covered, and she was still looking pretty cute with her hair all sticking up funny! With a little creative cropping, those pictures could be, uh…” Pinkie tapped her chin with a hoof for a moment, searching for the word. “En garde!”
“Avant-garde,” Fluttershy said, her wide eyes just above the tabletop.
Pinkie pointed a hoof at her friend. “Yeah, that!” The hoof wavered for a moment, then dropped to the table with a dull thunk. “But then some of the stallions below started getting a little sick...ish. Then I guess the crowd felt left out, because they started throwing up. And then my tummythought I should join in, so—”
“Oh, Pinkie.”
Nodding glumly, Pinkie dropped her gaze into her lap. One strand, then several more of her poofy, curly mane relaxed until the whole thing fell as a straight sheet down the side of her head. “Rarity just jumped off of those stallions— she totally clocked this one dude in the head with her hoof—and ran. She was crying, Flutters. I mean, crying really hard, in that super-bad way where you know that it’s not just some little thing. Where you know you messed everything up really, really bad, and that you don’t even know how to fix it.”
Several muted squeaks came from the other side of the table before Fluttershy swallowed loudly. “What did you do?”
“Well, she was running away, so I chased her.” Pinkie squeezed her hooves together tightly in her lap. “You know, Rarity’s pretty fast for such a babe. She could totally win the Running of the Leaves if somepony just messed up her hair, smeared up all of her beautiful face paint, dumped a bunch of barf on her, and made themselves into the worst marefriend ever. She runs really, really fast when that happens...”
~~~
The world was a blur full of mocking faces and laughter. Rarity did not stop, fleeing she knew not where, nor for what purpose. Blind panic was her only friend, and it urged her on despite heaving lungs and burning leg muscles.
Lights and noises surrounded her, blurred by tears in her eyes and muffled by the constant sound of her own sobs. There was no sanctuary here, no comforting room with a large bed of downy softness. Only more ponies to witness her shame.
“Rarity, slow down!” Pinkie called out over the thunder of scrambling hooves. “C’mon! Wait up! ”
She did not wait, charging forward, looking for any bolthole in this horrid storm of awfulness. In the distance, she saw something resembling sanctuary. While normally she might have avoided a public restroom... such places had sinks, and mirrors, and stalls with individually locking doors.
She dashed inside, not slowing in the slightest despite the cries of distress from the other mares in the room. She found the first open stall, slammed the door shut, and huddled on the toilet, waiting for everypony else to leave so that she could begin the process of restoring some form of sanity to her life.
After a moment, somepony in the neighboring stall over cleared their throat. “Is… Is everything okay in there?”
Rarity pulled her hind legs up, wrapping them up with her fore legs, and silently wept. She could do this. She just had to hide until nightfall. Everything was going to be just fine. Then, once she’d cleaned up, she could make a break for the train station, and from there, it was a mere train ride away to wherever she decided to exile herself to. She idly wondered if Minos was nice. At the very least it would present some interesting challenges for her.
“Hello?” The voice called out again.
Hmmm, it might be interesting to have a ready supply of Cashmere at hoof. That one fellow... Iron Will, that was it... He went about bare-chested a lot, but perhaps I could make them shirts and pants?
“Miss, I really, really hate to bother you, but do you have any paper in your stall?” The voice squeaked out nervously.
I’m not here. Ignore me.
“Wouldja leave her alone?” a gravelly-voiced mare called out from the stall on Rarity’s right. “Any pony in that big of a hurry’s gotta ralph. She ain’t got the time to get you toiletries when she’s about to hurl.”
The hooves of the mare standing at the sink in front of Rarity’s stall shuffled uncomfortably. “Oh, gross! I hope not!”
Rarity jumped and nearly fell from her porcelain perch when the bathroom door banged open. “Did anypony see a super-hot-but-at-the-moment-kinda-covered-in-yuck mare run in here? I followed her trail of dripping mascara, but it ended over here-ish. She’s either hiding inside this bathroom, or she’s gone into the haunted house, and I don’t want to go in there without her hoof to hold!”
“Does she gotta ralph?” the voice next to Rarity growled. “’Cause maybe she’s here, then.”
“I don’t know,” the mare on the other side squeaked, “but could you throw over some paper towels or something?”
“Ummmmmm…” Rarity watched Pinkie’s hooves turn in a slow circle. “All they have are those blow dryer hoof thingies, but we could hold you up to one if we all work together.”
“Just a long as nopony is barfing!” the mare at the sink said. “Celestia, that’s the worst.”
Pinkie’s hoof traced a few small circles on the floor. “No. I think that’s probably all done now. Rarity? You in here? Please be in here because that haunted house is super scary, and you’d probably hate me even more than you do now if you went in there by yourself. It’s got ghouls and ghosts and goblins, and the last time I went in there I couldn’t sleep for a week. I’m pretty sure hoof-holding is the only cure, but if you went in there by yourself without a hoof to hold, who knows how bad it could get? Are you in here?”
The sound of clambering hooves echoed through the bathroom, followed by a small scream from a stall somewhere to Rarity’s left.
“Sorry!” Pinkie said, scampering away. “Sorrysorrysorry!”
Rarity was torn between revealing herself to spare Pinkie searching for her in the haunted house and avoiding any and all pony contact forever. She chose to remain silent, hoping Pinkie would give up and go home rather than risk nightmares. The decision pained her, but she was in fact ruined forever, and thus was in no position to pity anypony else at that moment. When she reached Minos she would have the luxury to feel horrible about that decision, but for the moment she just felt horrid about everything in general.
“Uh, I guess she’s not here,” said the squeaky-voiced pony in the stall next to Rarity. “But if you wouldn’t mind alerting the park’s staff of a bathroom emergency, I’d appreciate it.”
Pinkie let out a heavy sigh. “I guess it’s just an emergency kind of day. If only they had a pack of Rarities in a closet that they could give me.” Her voice stopped suddenly, and her hoof tapped on the tile for a moment. “But if we had more Rarities, then she wouldn’t be very rare. Can we have a whole lot of Rarities?”
“Would you shut up and find your dumb mare already?” the gravelly-voiced pony on Rarity’s right growled. “Some of us are trying to concentrate here!”
Pinkie backed up a few steps.”Oh. Oh, all right…”
That was a step too far, and despite herself Rarity spoke up, though she maintained enough presence of mind to attempt to disguise her voice. “There’s... ahem, there ain’t no cause for hostility. She’s worried about her friend. But maybe it’d be good if she went home instead.”
“Go home? Without Rarity? I couldn’t—”
“Well, whatever. Just scram so we can finish up.” The gravelly-voiced pony said. “Though, I gotta say, you ain’t much of a friend in my book if you trot on home when your friend’s in trouble.”
“By the sounds of things,” Rarity began, then paused. She had been trying to keep her voice lower than her normal register, but also trying not to speak as she normally would. The trouble was, when trying to think of what a normal pony would say, she drew a blank. In desperation, she settled on trying to imitate Applejack in hopes it would prove confusing to Pinkie and throw her off. “Her friend ain’t in trouble, she’s... errr... plum embarrassed. Doesn’t want to be seen’s what I’m sayin’.” She winced at the butchering of the Equestrian language she’d just had to perform.
The mare at the mirror blew out a hard snort through her nose. “You’re better off without some drama queen, honey. My last was like that. Any little thing and she’d whine and cry. It gets old, trust me.”
“But…” The sound of Pinkie’s loud swallow echoed through the bathroom. “But Rarity’s not like that. I mean, not usually. Well, she can be, if things don’t go just so, like if she loses her ribbons or… or if you want too many changes on your dress.” Pinkie hesitated for a moment. “Actually, she cries an awful lot, now that I think about it…”
“See?” The pony at the sinks yawned. “Better off without her. All that emotionality gets boring. A pretty face only covers up so much, you know?”
Rarity drew in a breath sharply, choking back a sob. They were right, of course. Pinkie would be better off without her. Knowing that would make getting on with her life easier. “They’re... they’re right, sug. Forget about her. She’s... she ain’t worth it.”
Clearing her throat, the squeaky pony on Rarity’s left threw a little steel into her voice. “Now just wait a minute, everypony! We don’t even know what happened. Maybe… Well, it could be that this mare ran away because she was really hurt. It sounds like she might be a sensitive soul. Maybe that pony with the pink hooves did something bad to her.”
“Well, what’s the story?” the gruff pony said. “You mean to your mare or something?”
“Ummm… yeah.” Pinkie’s voice was soft, almost a whisper. “I had this whole fun day planned out here at this park, but she didn’t really like any of it. She was trying to be nice, but I kept thinking ‘okay, she didn’t like that ride, but the next ride will be the one .’ But it always turned out to be some other number. One that didn’t add up right, I guess. Then—”
The gruff voice hummed for a moment, considering. “Sounds like you thought wrong, then, huh? Maybe you two ain’t so good for each other if you like different stuff.”
There was a long silence. “Maybe…” Pinkie finally said, her voice cracking just a bit at the end.
“Um... the important thing ta remember is it ain’t your fault.” Rarity said quickly. “Some ponies... can’t be happy, and you probably didn’t do nothin’ wrong at all. Sounds like she ain’t the one for you. You need somepony you can have fun with.”
“What are you talking about?” the mare at the sinks said. Rarity heard the distinct sound of a hoof rifling through a makeup bag. “Oh, where is my lipstick? I better not have forgotten it at home. Anyway, I don’t know how you could think it wasn’t this pony’s—Hey, what’s your name, honey?”
“Pinkie,” she said in a small, sad voice.
“Of course it is. Aha! ” The clattering sound of a lipstick tube cap against porcelain. “No offense, sugar, but you don’t sound very experienced. You can’t plan a date just with things you want to do. It’s rude. I mean, how into a girl can you be if you didn’t even plan a date around her?”
Pinkie sniffled, and a few teardrops pattered onto the floor. “I… I don’t know. I thought I was really, really into her. I felt like I was at the top of a super tall mountain all way up high in the air. I just wanted to show her all the stuff I really liked because she liked me, or… or I think she liked me. But she didn’t like the stuff I like, I guess, and that’s kinda like not liking me...”
Rarity’s eyes blazed with fury. How dare anypony blame Pinkie of all ponies. “Now you listen here, hon. Our Pinkie clearly tried. Just because that mare ain’t capable of havin’ a good time at an amusement park ain’t no reason to assume that Pinkie coulda or shoulda known that! That mare shouldn’t even be around ponies and should move to someplace where she won’t see none.”
“Whoa, that’s kinda harsh,” the gruff pony said. “What are you, the official Pinkie cheerleader? At least let her break up before you swoop in. Sheesh. But, on the other hoof, Pinkie, you gotta go with what you know. If you try to make a date about stuff that you ain’t good with, well, that’s gonna be a trouble, too. Don’t let Lipstick here tell you different. She just sounds bitter.”
“Bitter? ” the pony at the sinks screeched. “I’ll have you know that I patiently waited through seven sub-par dates during which I was dragged all over Manehatten to the most awful of dives and low-end theater productions! All that I asked for was a little consideration as to what I might want, but oh no! That was too much to—”
The gruff pony’s hoof slammed down on the tile. “Well, I’m from Manehatten, and if you couldn’t just speak up and say want you wanted to do in a town with so much to offer, well, that sounds like a personality problem.”
“I think Pinkie could have been more considerate,” the nervous pony on Rarity’s left said. “However, her heart sounds like it was in the right place. She’ll probably do better next time.”
“I’m not sure my heart is in the right place, though.” Pinkie blew her nose, then paused. “Oh, right. No paper towels.” Rarity heard the rushing sound of an open faucet as Pinkie plunged her hoof under the nearest tap. “I’m pretty sure my heart’s back on that roller coaster. It was happy there. I wish I was back there, too. My chest is all achy now that I’m heartless.”
“W-wait.” The squeaky pony said. “Did you…”
There was a sharp intake of breath from the stall on Rarity’s right. “You didn’t take your marefriend on The Powerdive, did you?”
“Yeah.” A few more teardrops splatted against the tile. “I’m a big dummy.”
“You sure are,” the mare at the sinks said. “Sorry to be blunt, but that’s just idiotic. What were you thinking?”
“Gotta go with Lipstick on this one. Bad move, but maybe you can make it up to her later. Or maybe she’ll move on. Probably for the best, you know?”
“Well, her intentions were good, though, weren’t they?” The nervous pony said somewhat uncertainly to general silence. “Pinkie, I hate to say it, but that does sound like a pretty poor decision.”
“Wait, all of you.” Rarity said, her voice strident above the rest. “That... Rarity had every chance to say ‘no’ to anythin’ she didn’t want to do. It’s just as true that she was a danged fool for going along with it. ’Sides, it ain’t as bad as ponies make it out to be.”
“That’s a good point!” the gravelly-voice pony called out. “You gotta stand up for yourself in this world. Otherwise, ponies will run all over you. So Pinkie wanted this Rarity chick to go on some ride. Big deal. Pinkie didn’t make her get on it.” She paused. “Wait. You didn’t force her on, right?
“Ummmmmmm… Well, I may have used some extra-strength puppy-dog eyes a few times.”
The gruff pony huffed. “Puppy-dog eyes ain’t forcing. It was her choice, so this Rarity chick can’t get uptight about it after the fact.”
“Oh, come on! You don’t date much, do you?” The mare at the sinks crossed one hoof over the other. “Let me tell you a little something about real life , sugar. Best intentions don’t mean a whole lot. My last got best intentioned right out of a marefriend because being put second all the time gets old, especially when they pretend like it was all done for you in the first place. Sounds to me like this Rarity likes classy things like fashion if she’s making dresses. Pinkie here could have taken her to a ball or something, but you didn’t, did you?”
Pinkie’s hooves shuffled uncomfortably. “No.”
“So there you go.” The hooves uncrossed and turned back to the mirror. “Pinkie here just wanted to go to an amusement park and lied about it. Now hold on!” she said at Pinkie’s sharp inhale. “I’m not saying you did it on purpose. We lie to ourselves all the time. You probably just really wanted to go and fooled yourself into thinking that Rarity would like the same things you did. Well, the world doesn’t work that way, hon. You’re going to have to give a little, or maybe a lot. This mare sounds like she has some pretty different tastes. Seriously, you girls need to get out more and live life. You don’t know anything.”
“Hey, I get all the dates I want! I ain’t never had no trouble in that department. You wait until I—oh, you gotta be kidding me!” The sounds of frantic scrambling echoed out from the gruff mare’s stall. “Uh, add another one to that toilet paper list, Pinkie. But seriously, screw that mare. If she can’t let her hair down a little, you’re better off.”
“Don’t worry none, sug.” Rarity said quietly. “Let that silly mare be. Just go have fun.”
“I don’t think I can anymore,” Pinkie replied with a sniff. “I thought I was really good at fun, but now I’m not sure. I was so wrong about it today. Fun damentally wrong.” A short silence stretched out in the bathroom, then Pinkie sighed. “See? I can’t even make a good joke about it. I guess they’re right when they say that laughter comes from the heart. Since mine’s still on that roller coaster, nothing seems fun at all.”
The nervous pony tapped against her stall wall. “Please, everypony. We’re turning these two against each other. Pinkie at least wants to make up, and they were into each other enough to get this far. They shouldn’t give up. All they need to do is to talk.”
“I w-want to talk, but I can’t find her!” Pinkie wailed. “She ran away really fast, and I lost her trail somewhere around here. Oh, I am a big dummy! I’ve been in here talking to all of you, and you guys are really helpful and everything, but she’s probably hiding in that haunted house all super scared and hating me forever! I gotta go find her!” Pinkie’s hooves slipped on the slick tiled floor as she scampered for the door.
Rarity waited a moment more as the door opened and closed, then cautiously opened her stall door, intent on slipping out and fleeing the scene.
“‘Super hot’, ‘dripping mascara’... You were in here the whole time?” The pony who Rarity had come to associate with the name ‘Lipstick’ demanded.
Rarity said nothing, instead levitating boxes of tissues into two stalls, from which came surprised cries of gratitude. She then strode towards the door.
“What in Equestria is wrong with you?” Lipstick asked.
“So, so much.” Rarity muttered. “That’s why she’s better off like this.”
“Celestia save us from crazy mares.” Lipstick replied, favoring her with an incredulous look. “So you’re just going let her run off into that haunted house? I mean, why not? She’s already convinced that she failed you, so why not let her get nightmares as a bonus?”
“I...” Rarity paused, hoof on the door.
“Don’t be that mare.” Lipstick warned. “If you need to break it off, break it off. But don’t crush her like that and then just run off. She deserves better, even if her taste sucks.”
“Will you stop bad-mouthing her? She’s a wonderful pony, considerate, loving... It’s hardly her fault I am broken. ” Rarity shot back, getting actively angry with the mare.
Lipstick rolled her eyes, then dipped her mascara back into its container for a fresh coat. “I don’t know about broken, but you sure look like a wreck. Still, I’d rather look like a wreck than be one, and by the look of things, Pinkie’s going to be the biggest wreck in this park pretty soon. But I guess you don’t care about that, do you? Good for you. I told her that I thought you two were wrong for each other. Now I know for sure. So go catch the last train out of town or whatever it is that you’re running off to do. I’m sure Pinkie will get tired and go home…” Her eyes slid sideways until they met Rarity’s. “...eventually.”
“Oh... go powder your nose!” Rarity shouted back, storming out of the bathroom.
~~~
“Gonna guess you didn’t make it to the train.” Applejack said, a look of sympathy in her eyes. “Things sound like they went bad real quick.”
“I... thought about it. I felt ruined, and worthless, and I wanted to be anywhere but there. But... that mare. I couldn’t get her out of my head. I could just see Pinkie becoming jaded just like her, berating some poor, young lover. I... I had to at least let her know it wasn’t her fault. I couldn’t leave without saying a proper goodbye.”
~~~
It had been three agonizingly long minutes since she’d left the bathroom, but Pinkie had finally received the ten thousand missing Rarity posters that she’d hastily designed and sent away for. Now she ran back and forth in front of the haunted house, frantically taping them to every available surface. Several bewildered passers-by stopped, muttering to each other while trying to decide if this was some bizarre advertisement for a new park attraction.
“Have you seen this mare?” she said, thrusting a poster into the face of a mustachioed stallion. “I lost her, or… or actually, she ran away, so she lost me. I’m looking all over for her.”
“Uh…”
“Okay, well, let me know if you see her. Here.” Pinkie ripped off another piece of tape with her teeth and stuck the poster to the stallion’s side. “It’ll help to remind you.”
“Hey! Now, look—”
“I’ve been looking!” Pinkie called over her shoulder as she ran to the next group of ponies. “Have you guys seen a drop dead gorgeous mare? No? Hey, you shouldn’t hit him like that, ma’am.” Pinkie turned as the bathroom door squeaked, and an alarmingly disheveled yet devastatingly alluring unicorn mare stepped out. “Hey! Hey, you!”
Rarity squinted in the sunlight, nearly darting back into the bathroom when she saw how many ponies were about. She found herself confronted by Pinkie of all ponies, which quickly decided the issue of whether she would run after Pinkie or simply make a break for the train station. She felt a sense of relief, with just a bit of dread. At least now, she could properly say goodbye. “Um—”
“Hey, I’m looking for a probably supermodel-level hot unicorn mare, and you look like you know a little something about being really, really pretty. Oh, except you’ve got some paper caught in your mane. Let me get that.” Pinkie plunged her hoof into the ratty mess, then paused. “Oh, or… or is this some kind of new style. The unicorn I’m looking for is all about style, and sometimes I just don’t understand the stuff she’s into.”
There are times in a pony’s life where only one response is possible. Being around Pinkie presented Rarity with so many of those times. Dutifully, when confronted with yet another, she gave that response. “What?”
Pinkie yanked a poster from a large sack slung across her back. “She’s not a ‘what.’ She’s a who! A really classy, drop dead gorgeous unicorn mare of a who, that’s who! She’s about your height, and pretty much the same color as you. And she’s got hair…” Pinkie stopped for a moment, working her tongue slowly around the inside of her mouth as she squinted. “Ummmmmm… And she’s got hair pretty much the same color, too.” Pinkie thought hard for a minute, then perked up. “So she should be really easy for you to remember! Have you seen this mare?” she asked, pointing to the picture on the poster.
“I... I don’t...” Rarity shook her head, looking at the poster, and back to Pinkie. She found herself honestly questioning whether she had seen that mare recently. Certainly not in the bathroom mirror just now. She looked happier in that poster. When had Pinkie taken that photo?
“’Cause if you’ve seen her, or if you do see her, or if you’re going to see her, then could you pass along a message that I’m really, really looking all over the place for her? I want us to go back to the roller coaster and pick our hearts up again. We…” Pinkie face crumpled, and she sniffed. “We left them back there, out on the platform, and I just want to put them back where they belong so that we can be back where we belong. I just want to go home again and say that I’m so, so sorry for being a terrible marefriend who did a bad thing…” Pinkie blinked back welling tears, then thrust the poster and a whistle into Rarity’s hoof. “So if you see her, just blow on that as hard as you can and I’ll come running.”
Rarity watched, dumbfounded, as Pinkie ran off to ask other ponies if they’d seen her. She looked down at the poster, then the whistle. After a moment, she put the whistle to her lips and blew it as hard as she could.
Pinkie ran back as fast as she could, somewhat hampered by an irritated stallion she was dragging along behind her. Halfway through taping a poster to his leg, she’d forgotten to let go of him when she answered the call. “You work fast!” she said, still panting a little. “So what’s the good word? You’ve seen my mare with that certain debonair flair and a derriere beyond compare?”
Rarity opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, and closed it again. She looked at the poster, then Pinkie, then proceeded to roll it up, and smack her on the head with it.
“Ow, hey!” Pinkie said, rubbing the top of her head. “What’s the big idea? Only Rarity gets to do that…”
“Stop it! Just stop at once! You’re making this incredibly difficult!” Rarity screamed at her. For a time, she just stood there, breathing heavily and staring at Pinkie with something between irritation and fond exasperation.
Pinkie’s face contorted through its own roller coaster of emotion. Leaving the station, it clattered its way through Confusion Curve before ascending Hurt Hill as she rubbed her smarting crown. Then, at the top of the hill, her eyes widened, and she reached up with a trembling hoof to gently wipe away some of the smeared face paint from beneath Rarity’s hopelessly tangled mane. When those blue eyes finally stared back at her, she travelled rapidly down the coaster’s drop into mortification. Gripping the mental lap bar of shame and regret, she leapt into a nearby bush, and its leaves shook violently as she quivered within. “No. No! Nonononono!”
“Pinkie, wait—”
“That mare was right. She’s the rightest right that ever righted. I am just a big dummy!” The bush sniffled loudly. “I can’t even recognize my own marefriend, who I just gave the worst date in history to! I can’t believe you’re still here! I-I’m sorry, Rarity. You should find a marefriend who you deserve, not a big dummy of a pink one.”
Crouching down low to the ground, Rarity peeked under the leaves to the pink hooves underneath. “Pinkie, don’t... don’t ever say that about yourself.”
“It’s true! I know it is! Everypony says it when they think I’m not listening. They say I’m a big airheaded, poofy-maned, confetti-crazy ditz who only cares about parties and cakes and little foal stuff! I thought maybe they were wrong for a while there. I thought I cared about Rarity and my friends, and about all of Equestria, but then I just went to do all the airheady stuff they said I’d do!”
A small stream of tears wound its way out from under the bush. It briefly ran alongside Rarity’s hoof before disappearing down a storm drain. “I really w-wanted you to have fun, though. Honest. I’m just—” The bush swallowed loudly “—just not a marefriendy kind of a mare. I’m more of a stand-off-to-the-side-and-smile-supportively-while-your-friends-go-on-great-dates kind of a mare. But if you could, just tell the Cakes to forward my mail to this bush. A-and tell Twilight that I’ll be here if monsters attack and we have to rainbow them.”
Rarity said nothing for a time, struck by the utter absurdity of Pinkie wanting to live in a bush simply because she was—
Shamed. Mortally shamed. Sweet Celestia, we are a pair, aren’t we?
The next words to leave her mouth surprised even her. “Pinkie, would you like to move to Minos with me?”
“H-how would we live with minnows? They probably have itty-bitty houses…” Pinkie’s tear-filled eyes appeared through the leaves. “And I can’t breathe underwater. And I’m a terrible marefriend who belongs in a bush.”
“Not minnows, Minotaurs. And I imagine they live in houses, or mazes, if my novels are to be believed.”
The bush blinked. “... I like mazes,” it finally said.
“Then... then let’s just go! We can be on a train and away from... all of this. No more worries about who we’ve upset, or how we’ve messed up, we won’t know any...anyone at all! Think of all the new friends you could make!”
Two pink hooves shot out of the bush and grabbed Rarity’s shoulders. “Why, Rarity?” the bush asked, shaking her like a wind-caught sock. “You’d still be stuck with me! You could have anypony in the whole world! You’re pretty, a-and smart, and successful. I don’t understand!” Slowly, the legs drew Rarity into the bush and into a crushing hug. Against her, Pinkie shook. “You could have anypony, but you’re here with me, even after all the ways I messed it all up! I don’t understand it, Rarity! You’re perfect, and y-you h-heard that mare in the bathroom. I’m just a big dummy that screws things up. I messed up your dresses with my yucky icing hooves. I’m always distracting you when you need to concentrate on work. And now, I totally ruined your whole day, but you’re still here!” Pinkie’s voice broke. “With me… Why do you still want to be with me? ”
“Forget all of that.” Rarity said, gesturing around wildly. “Forget all of this. We’ll just go and find someplace where we can just be us, and stop trying to be something else for each other! It will be grand, Pinkie! I’ll make them shirts and pants and dresses for the cows and you can set up a party supply store, or a bakery, or both! It could be so wonderful!”
Pinkie buried her damp face into the crook of Rarity’s neck. “But what about your shop?” she asked in a somewhat muffled voice. “What about our friends? And Sweetie Belle? And the Cakes? I-I’m supposed to watch Pound and Pumpkin next week, and the holiday rush is coming at Sugarcube Corner. Oh, I’m still screwing this all up!” Pinkie squeezed Rarity tightly for a moment. “I want to go where you go. I’ll figure out who can take over. Maybe Spike. He likes taking care of stuff.”
“Well... they managed without us for the summer... I’m certain they could do so for... the rest of our lives. We... we could send letters. Mother and Father could... send me pictures of how Sweetie Belle is growing up.” Rarity resolve began to crumble. “And... and the Cakes are good parents, they could make do. The... the town would be hit hardest, I think, with you gone. I’m... not sure our friends would notice, at first. Eventually, maybe, but not right away...”
“Not notice you’re gone? Our friends?” Pinkie held Rarity out at leg’s length. “Are you crazy? Twilight couldn’t quit talking about that sash you made her for whatever that fancy function was she had the other day. And Applejack was really happy when you stopped by to eat lunch and play with Winona the other day. She told me all about it, and I said, ‘Well, that’s my Rarity! She’s so super considerate and knows which fork to use!’ Then Applejack said that they didn’t have any forks, and that you guys just ate with your hooves, but I told her she was a big fibber. ‘I know my Rarity,’ I said, ‘and bits to biscuits she levitated those sandwiches! No hooves for my lady!’ Applejack just rolled her eyes a lot and said it was an expression, but I still think she owes me either some bits or some biscuits. I’m not really sure which one of them was supposed to go to me.” Pinkie looked away for a moment, frowning. “What were we talking about? Oh, right! Our friends! Rarity, they’d totally miss you!”
“Certainly, the next time they need a gown or to know which silverware to use, but they’ll miss you far sooner. Who will Rainbow prank with? And I know the Apple reunion is coming up, and you’re supposed to go with her, Pinkie. And who will bring Twilight coffee and donuts the next time she forgets to eat? You know Spike can’t take care of her on his own; he’s a baby dragon, for goodness sake.”
Pinkie took a deep breath, and set her face into firm resolve. “Rarity, I think we can agree on one thing. If we go live with the minnows, our friends will fall into a crushing pit of despair and Ponyville will probably, um… explode… or something.” She locked eyes with Rarity and drew herself up to her full sitting height. “For the safety of the realm, we must remain.” A slow smile crept into the corners of her mouth. “But we could go visit those minnows for a week or two! I wouldn’t even plan it, so it probably won’t be a total disaster!”
“I...” Rarity stopped, pressing a hoof to her temple. “I don’t know if two weeks will be near enough. That picture is going to be in so many papers, Pinkie. I’m essentially ruined, socially. Bad enough all of our friends know my shame, now a whole nation will know...”
Hanging her head, Pinkie’s smile collapsed again. “Oh. Right. The whole ruining your life thing. That’s how we ended up in a bush.” She sighed heavily, then fished around in her mane. “Well, there’s only one option: Destroy the evidence!” With a flourish, she pulled out a tight-fitting black catsuit with goggles. “We’ll sneak up on those reporters and expose the film!” She squinted down at the suit. “But, um, I only have one of these, so we’ll have to share. I’ll take the left side.”
“That’s... that’s... well, I’m fairly certain that’s illegal. Granted, we do know four princesses, but I don’t know if we can count on a pardon. Maybe we could think of something slightly less larcenous?”
“Ummmmm…” Pinkie scratched her chin. “Well, I have been saving up my bits for a bigger party cannon, but maybe we could just buy the photos before they put them in the paper. It’s the least—” Pinkie swallowed and dropped her eyes to her hooves. “It’s the least I could do for being a totally bad marefriend and taking you on the worst date ever. Then we can go back to Ponyville and find you a good one, and I’ll just stand over in my corner and smile like I used to.”
Rarity’s breath hitched in her throat at Pinkie’s words. “Pinkie, you must stop saying that! I’m the one who is the horrible marefriend, not you. You did your very best! I failed you! We didn’t get the shirts because of me!”
“Huh?” Pinkie tilted her head to the side. “Whattaya mean? Rarity, you’re wearing it right now, along with, well, with some of that Matrimonial.” Pinkie took Rarity’s face in her hooves. “You did it, Rarity! Don’t you remember how fantabulous you were? We did it because of you! ”
“But... but I... all over everypony... I failed, Pinkie! Those poor stallions must be so upset!”
Pinkie covered her giggle with a hoof. “Oh, Rarity! Those stallions have been trying to get those shirts for like a hundred years! You think a little sick bothers them? They’ve probably been puking on that ride once a week!” Brushing back tangled bangs, Pinkie traced the wet area just at the corner of Rarity’s eyes lightly with her hoof. “Nopony’s done what we were able to do in, like, forever! All because you’re super. There’s nopony like you, and… and…” Pinkie’s grin wavered, then fell entirely. “Rarity, I don’t want to go back to my corner and smile that hard-to-do smile! I want to be with you, but I know I’m not very good at this, so if you could maybe just be patient with me, I’ll try so hard!” Pinkie sat up rigidly straight, refusing to move a muscle. “Hard!” she growled through a tightly clamped jaw.
“Pinkie, what are you...” Rarity’s eyes opened wide. “You can’t possibly...” She thought for a moment, looking at Pinkie’s resolute stance, and sighed heavily. “Of course you do. You’re nearly as bad as me when it comes to blaming yourself for things clearly out of your control.” She wrapped her arms around Pinkie, nuzzling her fondly. “No corner for you, love. Do you understand?”
“No,” Pinkie whispered, trembling. She wrapped her hooves around Rarity and buried her face into her marefriend’s mane. Though hopelessly tangled, its scent was still intoxicating. Rarity kept at least thirty mysterious bottles in and around the shower, mixing and matching them for precise effects. Whenever Pinkie plunged her head into Rarity’s mane, it made her think of raw silk and sunsets. It was love and hope and beauty, all wrapped up in smells and textures that seemed way too sophisticated for her. There was so much about everything lately that she just didn’t understand.
“No, I d-don’t get it. I want to understand, but you…” Pinkie swallowed the lump that always seemed to form in her throat when she thought to hard about why Rarity liked her. “I’m happy with you every day, Rarity, but you could be having a really fancy eclair or something instead of a plain ol’ vanilla cupcake like me. You like pretty, delicate, cultured stuff that I’m always ruining. Why…” Pinkie’s voice faltered, but she looked into Rarity’s eyes and tapped herself lightly over her heart.
Rarity just pulled Pinkie as close as she could, not answering for some time. “You really don’t know. All these months and you still don’t know...” The world around them disappeared, and with it, for a time, her utter horror with her physical appearance, and her distaste for the sights and sounds of the park. “There’s nopony that could possibly compare to you.” Rarity pressed a hoof up to Pinkie’s lips, shushing any response Pinkie might have given. “I don’t expect you to understand. It’s absolutely perfect that you don’t. Just know I love you, Pinkie Pie. I love you for everything that you are. And... I’m very sorry I made you worry. That was cruel of me. But... if you’ll forgive me, I’ll try to be a better pony for you.”
Pinkie screwed her face up. “Huh? Forgive you? I’m the one who took you to some park that you hated and dragged you on a bunch of yucky rides! If anypony should be sorry, it’s me! All you did was be perfect and super-wonderful about everything like always. Here. Hold on.” The tip of Pinkie’s tongue stuck out of the side of her mouth while fished through her mane for a moment. Perking up suddenly, she pulled out a blue ribbon emblazoned with gold text that read “Best Marefriend.” Peeling off the adhesive backing, she stuck it to Rarity’s shirt. “There! It’s official.”
Rarity’s eyes followed the sticker, drawing her gaze down to her horribly soiled shirt. “Ahhh! Pinkie, I need to get cleaned up immediately!” Pulling Pinkie behind her, Rarity edged her way out of the bush and turned back to the bathroom before noticing the door was open. Her eyes widened in dawning horror as she saw they had an audience.
“Oh, hey everypony!” Pinkie said while waving vigorously. “Look! I found her and then we had some serious bush time!”
The collective of mares turned to Rarity and raised their eyebrows.
“Not what she meant! You,” Rarity pointed at the mare she knew only as Lipstick. “You have wet towelettes in your bag, don’t you?”
The mare rolled her eyes, then grumbled to herself as she dug through her saddlebag. “Here,” she said, tossing Rarity a couple of tiny, individually wrapped packages.
A solidly built mare trotted down the steps and picked up one of the towelettes from the ground near Rarity’s hoof. “Whoa, lady. You’re a wreck,” she rasped out in her gravelly voice. “No wonder you hid out in that stall. Let’s get you cleaned up some.”
“It’s the least we could do after you found us some toilet paper.” A primly coifed older unicorn scooped up the second towelette and magically tore the packaging open. “I feared that I would be trapped in there all night.”
Shaking her head, Lipstick trotted down the steps and out onto one of the park’s many twisting pathways. “Well, good luck, I guess. You two are going to need it. I don’t know why everypony is so screwed up these days…”
Dabbing at Rarity’s shirt, the unicorn leaned in close. “Don’t you listen to a bitter pill like her. We could hear it all—” She nodded her head back toward the row of windows that ran along the bathroom’s wall “—and you two were very sweet.”
“Yeah,” said the gruff pony as she wiped at the sides of Rarity’s face. The towelette came away nearly black with smeared mascara. “I wish my stallion and I could talk about stuff the way you two do.”
“Rarity and I talk all the time!” Pinkie hopped back and forth, grinning. “For a little while, I tried to just think stuff to her. Mr. and Mrs. Cake always say that they have this special bond that helps them understand each other, but then Rarity here would be frownish at me because I’d get all red-faced and shaky. I’d think so hard that I’d feel woozy and fall-over-y, and then I’d have to go take a nap for a little while. So after that happened a few times, I thought that maybe just talking would be better. I’ll have time to build up my telepathy later on.”
The two mares’ hooves wavered in the air while they blinked at Pinkie.
“What?” Pinkie said after a few moments, her eyes travelling back and forth between them.
Rarity just rolled her eyes affectionately. “Talking will be fine, love.” Turning back to their two new friends, Rarity put on her very best smile. “I...I thank you both, for... for trying to comfort her, in there. I wasn’t thinking very sensibly. So... thank you.”
“Eh, happens to the best of us.” The gruff mare took a step back, then tilted her head to the side and squinted at Rarity for a moment. “Well, that’s probably as good as it’s gonna get. Might wanna turn that shirt inside-out, though.”
Pinkie’s eyes flew wide. “Inside-out? But then nopony would see it!”
The prim pony tapped the shirt gently with her hoof. “But it’s stained, dearie.” Clucking her tongue, she held the shirt out a little for Rarity to see. “You don’t want to walk around like this, do you?”
“Hold on,” Pinkie said, her voice slightly muffled. She was trying to wiggle out of her shirt, but had only managed to work both forelegs through the same hole. “We’ll trade, Rares. Mine’s only kinda stained. Wait, how do you get out of here?” She paused, her eye peeking through the neck hole. “Do you still have that park map, Rares? I’m lost.”
Rarity sighed theatrically, then lifted Pinkie bodily by the shirt, allowing her to slide out of it. “I think it best we just take them off for now until I can properly launder them. They’ll make a nice keepsake.” She shucked off her own in a long practiced move, tucking both shirts into her saddlebag. “Let’s go home, Pinkie.” She nodded to the two mares, extending a hoof in farewell. “If you’re ever in Ponyville, look me up. I’ll be the recluse in the dress shop.”
Suddenly free, Pinkie sat, blinking. “Whoa. Thanks Rarity. I was in a world of shirt back there.” She climbed to her hooves and brushed away the dirt that dusted her rump, then froze. “Wait. Leave? But we haven’t even—” Her jaw snapped shut with an audible click. “No, you’re right,” she mumbled from behind her tightly clamped lips. “We should probably go.”
Pinkie pulled more ribbons from someplace that the others didn’t quite catch, then pinned them on the two mares. “There. In honor of your extreme valor and helpfulness while trapped in a bathroom stall.” Beaming, Pinkie stuck the “I’m a #1 Bathroom Helper!” ribbons to the two mares’ chests.
Nonplussed, the two mares stared at their ribbons for a moment. “Uh… thanks,” the gruff mare finally said before turning back to Rarity, “and, yeah. I’ll be sure to stop in and look at your stuff if I’m ever in Ponyville.”
“And I will, too!” The prim mare took Rarity’s hoof and gently shook it. “Good luck to the both of you! I don’t mean to be saccharine, but you’re both very sweet.”
With that, they said their final goodbyes and made a beeline for the park entrance. Rarity held her head high, refusing to try to hide anymore. After all, her life was already over, all she had left was her pride. And she could still have some semblance of a life. True, social mobility was out of the question, but perhaps she could find some up-and-coming fashionista and allow her to run the shop while Rarity herself created from the shadows. It would be horribly romantic, a bit like Fantoma De La Opera , only without the masks and foalnapping. She briefly wondered how expensive an organ might be, and whether somepony could come teach her to play it.
“Rarity?” Pinkie’s head hung low as she trudged alongside her marefriend.
Perhaps masks aren’t out of the question... but certainly not that half-mask. I won’t look like some burn-victim, Rarity thought as she strode past dozens of ponies, all of whom seemed to be looking straight at her.
“You’re humming really hard in minor scale.”
She refused to let it bother her. Likely they’d seen her shame, but no matter. She was going home, and she was going to buy an organ and learn to play it. Everything was going to be wonderful.
Pinkie let out a long sigh before giving Rarity a sidelong glance. “So maybe you should pick the next place we go to. Needle factory. “History of the Button” museum tour. Doily seminar. I’m ready for whatever you want to do.”
“Hmmm?” Rarity turned to Pinkie, a bit embarrassed that she’d missed something. “Oh! Well, I think just a quiet dinner by candlelight will be fine...” Her eyes lit up in a sudden thought. “Oh! I shall need very dark curtains to prevent the sunlight from entering my lair. Perhaps I could set up a workroom in the basement, and train rats to fetch me food!” She frowned suddenly. “Wait, Opal would eat them. Oh, dear.”
Pinkie’s face scrunched up quizzically while she tilted her head to the side. “A lair? Like a cave or something that a bear would live in? A bear lair?” Pinkie hid a giggle behind her hoof. “You can’t put up curtains in a cave! There aren’t even any windows!”
“No, not a cave. More like a dank sewer, where ponies dare not enter for fear of the sounds and the legends of the Lady Rarity and her needles. I...” Rarity paused, blushing as she realized she was well and truly making a scene. Pride only went so far. “Right. Maybe we’d better just go somewhere with no other ponies after all. You know this park, Pinkie. Do you know any place we could go for a while?”
Pinkie tapped her chin. “Weeeeeell… there’s the alicorndog stand. You used to be able to get these little cardboard Celestias with corndogs for horns, but the stand got shut down because ponies said it was in bad taste. And that it tasted bad.” Pinkie stopped suddenly and stared off into the distance. “Rarity, why is an ear of corn dipped in batter and fried to delicious perfection called a dog, anyway? It doesn’t even look like a dog.”
“The same reason they call a carrot in a bun a carrot dog. It’s an adaptation of griffon cuisine.” Rarity thought for a moment about the nice griffon in Central Park that had explained it to her, and while he’d seemed very enthusiastic, he hadn’t actually given her much insight beyond that the dogs normally sold in Griffonstone were made of meat, or something that resembled meat. “Though I don’t think they eat actual dogs, either, so I’m afraid to say that your guess is as good as mine.”
“Um, okay. Oh, I know! We could rent side by side lockers and lock ourselves in! Very private!”
“I think I’d rather avoid small spaces with suspicious odors. The stall in the ladies room was bad enough.”
The tiny tufts of hair around the edges of Pinkie’s ears started to smoke as she thought extra hard. After a few moment, she bounced rapidly in place. “Ooh! Ooh! I’ve got it! We could—” Pinkie’s paused, her eyes finding Rarity’s for a moment, then dropping. Her naturally pink cheeks blushed into a rosy red, then scarlet. “Uh…”
“Yes?” Rarity replied, honestly curious what would prompt that reaction.
Pinkie’s hoof poked at the cobblestone path. “Never mind. After today, you probably wouldn’t want to.”
“Now, now, I don’t want to immediately discount anything.” Rarity said, then amended: “Except for another roller coaster. I’m sorry, but one was enough.”
Pinkie swallowed, her voice trembling slightly. “Well, th-there’s Cadence’s Crystal Caverns. That’s what they call the tunnel of love ride here. It’s specifically made for ponies that want to get away from it all. We could go on that as many times as we wanted and not be around anypony else. It’d be… just us. The perfect end to a great date. One that a good marefriend would have taken you on, but you’re supposed to go on it because you’re in love, not because you’re hiding. They probably have one of those signs out front with the measuring sticks on them that say ‘You must be at least this good as a marefriend to go on the ride.’ And… and I’ll try to get on, but they’ll have those beefy security stallions pick me up and throw me out of the park.”
Rarity stopped in her tracks, turning around fully to face Pinkie. For a long moment, she just stood there, uncertain of what to say. Then she angrily stomped her hoof on the ground. “Will you please stop that? You did wonderfully, darling. I’m the one who bit off more than she could chew. And if anypony even dares ask such a question I will punch them right in the mouth!”
Pinkie rocked back on her hooves, her eyes wide. “Whoa, Rares...”
“The gall, the absolute gall of anypony who would even—” Rarity angrily grabbed Pinkie’s hoof, looking around wildly. “You show me this tunnel, and if they have such a silly policy, I will vouch for you. Who exactly would they ask otherwise?”
Gripping the hoof tightly, Pinkie held Rarity’s gaze. “Is… is it really okay, Rarity? I tried today, I really, really did, but I feel like I messed it all up. But you’re saying that you want to go on the ride with me, and that means that you still love me, because you can’t go into Cadence’s Crystal Caverns without loving the other pony. The ride stops and you have to get out.” Pinkie pulled Rarity in closer. They were standing nearly nose to nose. “Rarity, I want to go on that ride with you more badly than anypony ever wanted to go on it. Please. For reals… is it all okay?”
“Darling, loving you was never a question,” Rarity said firmly. “Let’s go.” Rarity marched forward, but was pulled off balance when she reached the end of her tether. She was still holding Pinkie’s hoof, and her marefriend hadn’t moved an inch. “Pinkie? Are you alright, dear?”
Pinkie’s lower lip trembled and her eyes shimmered. She fought for air as her breathing descended into shallow, hitching gasps. “Rarity…” she said in a small, quavering voice before wailing and breaking into fountaining tears.
Rarity stared at Pinkie, uncertain what was going on. “Darling, whatever is the matter? Was I too harsh? I...I didn’t actually mean I would hit ponies for no reason, just the ones who thought they could question you in such a way—”
Pinkie launched herself at Rarity, tackling her. Together, they fell onto a bench, which upended and dropped them into a cheerfully arranged flower garden. Straddling her marefriend, Pinkie peppered with light kisses before grabbing both ears and hauling Rarity in. “Oh, R-Rares!” Pinkie trembled. “I th-thought you m-must hate me after all of th-this!” She kissed again, working her way to Rarity’s lips. “I thought for sure you’d be really nice about it, but you’d tell me that we should probably just be friends after all. And I’d try s-super hard to smile for you, but it’d be all shaky and bad-feeling instead of true.”
“Why on earth would you even think that? I keep telling you, this whole mess was my fault! I… if anything I am horrible for you , for goodness sake. Look at the state I’ve reduced you to.” Rarity reached around Pinkie’s barrel, hugging her tightly to herself. “You are my light, and I fear I may extinguish you with all the misery I seem to spread. That’s... that’s why I told you to find somepony else. But... I can’t even give you up properly. I...I shouldn’t be so horribly needy.” Rarity’s glanced at her own hooves, her face flush as she realized her actions were not matching her words at all and dropped them quickly. “Sorry. I’ll... I’ll try harder.”
Rubbing a hoof over her eyes, Pinkie wiped ineffectually at the streaming tears there. Rings of matted fur had turned her into Equestria’s saddest raccoon. She threw her hooves around Rarity and squeezed. “Don’t try harder. Try softer. Cuddlier.” Still sniffling, she snuggled her cheek against Rarity’s, then kissed the corner of her mouth. “I was so scared, Rarity. I thought for sure you’d throw me away, but that was a mean thing for me to think. I should have known you’d be so much better than that. I’m sorry, Rares. I’m sorry about lots of stuff today, but I’m sorriest about that. I want us to be forever-together, and I wanna go on that ride right now! ”
Rarity opened her mouth to protest that she was anything but better... But then closed it again without doing so. She knew the truth, how wonderful Pinkie was, but Pinkie would never see it, and that was part her charm. All she could do was return the embrace, even if she felt horribly selfish in doing so. “Then right now it shall be. Let me up, we’ll go straight away.”
“There! There they are! Thanks the sisters we’ve found you at last!” A breathless unicorn stallion in a somewhat threadbare tuxedo jacket galloped to them, flanked by a half dozen park employees and photographers. “We’ve been simply everywhere! The owner is beside herself!”
“Give her our regrets, and our good riddances!” Rarity snapped, scrambling up to her hooves. “I think you and yours have done enough damage, thank you.” She swept a hoof at the photographers angrily. “Put those things away or I swear to Celestia I will put them in places you will not like!”
The stallion pulled up short and grimaced at a rather harried-seeming mare piled high with photography equipment. The stallion sighed heavily when she just shrugged. “Miss,” he said, turning back to Rarity, “We’re in a bit of a spot, you see. I don’t doubt that you’d prefer to leave, but those pictures simply will not do! We can’t publish an achievement of that magnitude when they are marred with the very thing we’re purporting to have avoided. Yes, the accomplishment would technically still stand since you were off the ride, but the owner doesn’t care for the visual. It would turn us all into a laughingstock.” His forehooves trembled slightly as they twisted around one another. “So… so if you’d consent to a re-shoot, we’d be most appreciative. Perhaps we could throw in a couple of season passes?” He stared at the two mares, his eyes wide and beseeching.
“You...” It took a moment for the meaning of his words to sink in, and during that time her expression shifted wildly between anger, confusion, and disbelief. “You want to retake the photos?” She demanded, her mood settling firmly on annoyed. She had wanted to move to another country or live the rest of her life in a sewer for fear of the public shame these ponies had caused her, and now they wanted to—
Wait, wait wait wait! That’s... that’s a good thing for me, isn’t it?
Pinkie’s eyes were fully dilated, and she was drooling just a bit when she turned to Rarity. “Season passes, Rares…”
Despite their offer to fix everything after the fact, Rarity was still fuming that she had undergone such a horrible experience to begin with. “Do you have any notion what we went through? I was planning to move to Minos and make pants, for Celestia’s sake!”
“We understand—”
“No, no I don’t think you do. You just know that your employer is going to be embarrassed, and now you’re worried, but where was this level of care then? Pants , sir. I don’t even know how to design such things!”
Pinkie swayed slowly from side to side, her eyes unfocused. “I could ride The Powerdive every day! ‘Oh, gosh!’ I’ll say, ‘I’ve got a whole hour before I have to go hang out with Twilight. I guess I’ll go ride The Powerdive.’ ‘Oh, look! Fifteen minutes before bedtime! Maybe I’ll trot over to The Powerdive! Why not? I’ve got a season pass.’”
“Well... I can understand your concern—”
“I was going to train rats!” Rarity said, stomping down her hoof loudly. “I wasn’t certain how to get my cat not to eat them but I was going to try!”
“... I could just walk into the park, and then back out again. For hours. Just in and out...”
The unicorn was beginning to look very flustered. “Ma’am, I assure you, nopony will have to train rats—”
“And all of that for a t-shirt! Well, let me tell you, I am tempted to have a word with a few reporters myself. The headline would be ‘I was put through Tartarus and all I got was a lousy—’”
“... Or I could just stick my tail and a hoof in, but leave the rest of me out. It’d be like the Hokey Pokey, but for a park! The Harky Parky! A new dance craze for season pass holders and all their trained rats…”
“What if we gave you lifetime passes?” The representative said desperately.
“Lifetime?” was all that Pinkie managed before falling over into a dead faint.
The park manager’s body twitched in several directions at once. His hooves reached out for Pinkie while his nervous eyes flicked over to Rarity to gauge her reaction. This was somewhat hampered by his rear hooves, which insisted on backing away from the horribly confusing situation he’d found himself in the middle of. In the end, he elected to keep his distance when Rarity looked ready to bite him. “Um... lifetime passes, a-and complimentary food?”
“Lifetime…” Pinkie mumbled, her eyes rolling beneath their lids. Her back leg twitched several times before she rolled over and snuggled up to Rarity’s hoof. Moments later, she was snoring.
Rarity stared him down for a moment longer, then finally dropped her gaze. “That’s a start. But we’re going to need to get cleaned up if you expect the reshoot to go well.”
“Of course—”
“I’m not done.” Rarity said calmly as she checked Pinkie to make certain she wasn’t going to swallow her tongue. “There were some very talented face-painters who I would like to work their magic once again. Fetch them.”
“We can do that.” He said quickly, motioning for a couple of the employees to go find the face-painters. “If you’ll just come with me—”
“We’ll join you shortly.” Rarity picked Pinkie up in a firepony’s carry, nodding to the remainder of the park employees. “I promised her we would ride in Cadence’s Caverns. We’ll be glad to go wherever you wish, afterwards.”
“But...” One look at Rarity’s expression was enough to cow him anew. “I’ll send an employee ahead to make sure you bypass the lines.”
“Thank you, sir. You are a true gentlepony, and I will be sure to say so during the shoot. Now, if you’ll excuse us.” Without waiting for a response, Rarity walked past them in the direction of the Caverns.
Bumping along on Rarity’s back, Pinkie let out a loud yawn, stretched, then rubbed her eyes. “Rares, you’re not going to believe the weird dream I just had. We both went to this park, and you didn’t like it, but you did like some of it, like the funnel cake. Then we…”
Rarity simply kept trodding forward, laughter bubbling up in little giggles. She had done it. Somehow, she had won through in the end. She felt Pinkie bump into her back, and amended: They had done it. Together.
~~~
“Well, shoot! You kinda made out like a bandit there, didn’t ya?” Applejack said, lifting her glass of cider in a silent toast.
“I suppose, in the end, yes.” Rarity replied. “The owner was terribly apologetic about the whole ordeal, and while she wasn’t thrilled that her manager had given so many concessions... Pinkie practically abased herself in front of the poor mare, and she decided to extend the lifetime pass offers to the rest of the riders who were present, for their trouble.”
“Still not seein’ what was so bad about it all.”
“It wasn’t all bad,” Rarity admitted. “Actually, Cadence’s Caverns was very pleasant.”
“I’ll just bet!” Applejack replied, letting out an appreciative chuckle. “Heck, sounds like a hoot. Might have to drag Dash and Twi there sometime. We kinda skipped the datin’ part. Things got hot and heavy real quick.”
“Have a care for poor Twilight. She gets nauseous from her own flight.”
“Yeah, well, I can always have her cheer us on. Wouldn’t be the first time she just watched.”
“Yes, well... that’s nice.” Rarity replied, her face flushed with embarrassment. “In any case, yes, the park is quite charming, provided you have the right company. But I would avoid eating anything before you brave the rougher rides.”
“Well, that’s just common sense, Rarity.”
Rarity rolled her eyes, picking up another shot in her magic and swallowing it in one gulp. “Sense is hardly common, in my experience, but I certainly know not to make the same mistake in the future.”
“Awww, no more Powerdive for you and Pinkie? That’s a real shame.”
“Ha!” The row of shot glasses grew by one more. “Hardly. We’ve been several times. I just avoid fried foods beforehoof.”
“Scuze me.”
Rarity looked up from the smooth wood surface of the bar, smiling at Berry Punch. “Yes, darling?”
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but I was supposed to close up a while back. Are you two ready to go?” Berry glanced meaningfully at the clock, at which point Rarity realized they’d been talking for hours.
“Oh, sorry, Berry. I suppose... I suppose I am ready.” She stood up just a little unsteadily, nodding to her friend. “Applejack, thank you for your company. I suppose I should fetch Pinkie and go home.” Rarity laid out a sum of bits, adding a generous amount as a tip for Berry.
“Mind if I come along?” Applejack said, hopping off the barstool looking fresh as a daisy despite having matched Rarity shot for shot. “I figure Shy’ll be calmed down by now. Maybe you two can have another go at making up.”
Rarity hesitated for a long moment. “It’s... it’s a thought, but I don’t think I’ll risk it tonight. I’ve just barely washed the taste of hoof from my mouth.”
“Well, you can’t buck an apple before its time,” Applejack said genially as she opened the door for Rarity, “but if you leave it on the tree for too long, it’ll go rotten.” She winked at Rarity, then bumped her friend lightly with her hip. “And if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a rotten apple. I’d sure hate to see that between the two of you.”
“We’ll... we’ll get there, eventually. But for now, let’s go see how they are.” Rarity stepped out the door, stumbled, and just barely caught herself by grasping wildly for Applejack’s neck. “Errr, sorry, darling.”
Applejack just rolled her eyes, bearing up easily under their combined weight. “C’mon, lightweight, let’s get you back to fetch Pinkie so she can get you in bed.”
Step Eight: A Big Flourish
Inch by inch, Fluttershy’s wide eyes rose to peek over the tabletop. She’d slouched lower and lower into her chair as the story had progressed, hiding as best she could from the terrible date while still being trapped across the table from her house guest. In the date’s darkest moments, only the top of her quivering scalp could be seen. Now that Pinkie had finally finished, Fluttershy risked direct eye contact once more. “Um, well, it wasn’t so bad, Pinkie.”
“What ?” Pinkie half-rose from her chair to lean over the table, and Fluttershy retreated again. “C’mon, Flutters! It was a disaster!”
“But… okay, it was pretty bad, but it all came out alright in the end, didn’t it?” Fluttershy took a deep breath, then forced herself to climb back into her chair and sit up straight again. “At least you finally got to go on that Cadence ride like you wanted.” She gave Pinkie a weak smile. “Was it nice?”
“I dunno.”
Fluttershy sat blinking for a moment. “But… but you did ride it, didn’t you?”
Pinkie flushed, but broke out into a wide grin. “Um, yeah. We rode it, but I didn’t get to see too much. We were kinda busy. I made her go on it like five times.”
It was Fluttershy’s turn to blush. Fanning her flaming cheeks with her napkin, she dropped her gaze to her bowl of soup, or what was left of it. Somehow, during the story’s telling, she’d eaten nearly every last drop of the strange concoction. “Pinkie, when—”
“You were hungry!” Pinkie replied, giggling behind a hoof. “I actually refilled your bowl twice.”
“I, um… I eat when I’m nervous.”
Pinkie leaned to the side, squinting at Fluttershy’s barrel. “Uh, how does that work? You’re always nervous, but you’re in really good shape!” Pinkie pinched a roll near her flank, then frowned at it. “Better than me, anyway. How do you do it?”
“I also pace a lot when I’m nervous. Sometimes I pace for miles.” Fluttershy frowned and set her hooves on her hips. “But I’m not always nervous!”
“Uh, yeah you are,” Pinkie said as she licked the last of the peach soup off of her spoon. “It’s kinda your thing.”
“It’s one of my things, and you girls just see it a lot because we’re always fighting some big, scary monster or running off to some royal function full of really important dignitaries that all want to talk to us! Everypony sees me at my worst!” Fluttershy started, then dropped her gaze into her lap. “Oh, Pinkie! I’m so sorry for shouting. I… I just…”
“Nonono!” Pinkie hopped off her her chair and trotted around the table. Throwing her hooves around her friend, Pinkie gently rocked Fluttershy. “I didn’t say it right. You get scared of stuff, but that’s okay. It’s part of what makes you, you.”
Fluttershy wrapped a hoof around Pinkie and rested her head against her friend’s. “I just wish sometimes that I could be around everypony when they could see the real me. Not the big scaredy-cat everypony thinks I am, but somepony who helps. Somepony who tries.” Turning, she pushed her burning face into Pinkie’s soft, poofy mane. “But I can’t even face my supposed best friend when she needs me, so what good am I?”
Pinkie continued to rock Fluttershy as the pegasus cried. “But that’s what I’m trying to tell you, Flutters! Look at all the bad things I did on my very first date with Rarity, but she still stuck right by me! Yeah, she was upset about stuff for a little while, but I totally messed it all up and she didn’t send me away forever.”
“But the letters!” Fluttershy pulled her head out of Pinkie’s mane to stare into her eyes. “She yelled at me, Pinkie. She didn’t even yell at you!”
Pinkie’s lower lip quivered. “Yeah, she did. She just didn’t do it with her mouth. She yelled at me with her hooves when she ran away and hid. I think it was just too big a thing for her to talk about right then. I speak Hoof, though, or at least I did that day, ’cause I knew just what they were saying. She was super-duper upset, and all she wanted to do was to get away from everything that had done it to her.” Pinkie placed a trembling hoof over her heart. “And I was the pony who was the responsiblest. Going to the park. Eating the Matrimonial. Riding the Powerdive. All of those things were my ideas. She didn’t want to do them, but she did to be nice. And that’s how I repaid her.”
The room fell silent for several long moments as Pinkie and Fluttershy held each other. Finally, Pinkie wiped at her eyes, then held Fluttershy out at leg’s length. “But she forgave me, and she’ll forgive you, too. I know she was yelly, but that’s only because all the hurt confused her tongue. She pushes things way down deep into this special box inside of her if she thinks talking about it is going to be rude or unfriendly somehow, but when she’s stuffed too many hurts into that place, it blows up. She hates it, but she can’t help it, any more than you can help feeling scared. You’re both the same. You guys want to talk, but you’re more afraid of yourselves and what you’ll do than you are of the other pony. If you never talk, then you’ll both be sad forever, and then I’ll be crying forever. Do you know how hard it is to blow up balloons when you’re crying? Really hard, and my eyes will probably get really tired.” Pinkie pointed a hoof to her bloodshot eye. “I hope you two talk soon, ’cause my peepers are already pooped.”
“I… I…” Fluttershy’s grip on Pinkie’s leg tightened. “I want to, but…”
Patting Fluttershy on the head, Pinkie gave her friend a shaky grin. “That’s the best part! I’ve got it all worked out. We’ll have—”
“A party?” Fluttershy responded automatically.
Pinkie’s eyes widened. “Hey, yeah! That’s just what I was going to say!” She rubbed her chin and eyed Fluttershy. “Are you sure you don’t have any party pony blood in your family?”
“I don’t think so, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said, rolling her eyes with a small grin. “It’s just, well, that’s just your thing.”
“Hey, I do more than throw parties! I—” Pinkie’s jaw snapped shut and she nodded. “Okay, I deserved that one. Sometimes my mouth just goes ahead and buys the balloons when my brain is still looking at the party supply catalogue. Sorry, Flutters.”
“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean anything by it.” Fluttershy disentangled herself from Pinkie, then scooped up the bowls. Trotting to the sink, she set the bowls inside and pulled out a sponge. “I appreciate it, Pinkie, but I don’t know if a party is going to help. They’re… well, they’re always so loud, and there’s so many other ponies around. What if Rarity makes a big scene, or if I end up hiding in a closet all night?”
Pinkie hopped back and forth, her grin widening. “But that’s the good part! It’d be a masquerade party. Nopony would know who was who except for you and Rarity! I thought you could dress up as her and she could dress up as you!”
Filling the sink with warm, soapy water, Fluttershy frowned at the dishes she ran beneath the faucet’s stream. “Why would we do that?”
“Think about it, Shy! Then you’d know for sure who each other are, so you can talk to them or avoid them, whichever you wanted right then. You could cut your Making Up Cake into little, tiny pieces or eat it all in one big bite. Whichever you wanted!” Pinkie leaned forward on her hooves, her eyes sparkling. “Aaaaaaand I thought it’d help you two see things from the other’s point of view. I mean, if your dressed up as Rarity, that’s kinda like being Rarity. You can look at yourself in the mirror and think of all the things that Rarity might think and say, and—”
“No.”
“And you’ll probably—huh?”
With a sigh, Fluttershy dropped the sponge into the water, then turned to face Pinkie. “I don’t want to do that.”
Pinkie’s smile retreated a little, and she took a small step backwards. “I… I just thought…”
“I know you did.” Fluttershy offered Pinkie a brief smile before propping her foreknee on the countertop and resting her chin on her hoof. Her eyes drifted to the window. The birds outside were swooping to pick insects out of the air. Even in the growing darkness they seemed so sure of the proper course, like they always knew exactly what to do. “Just like I thought it would be best to tell her what she wanted to hear, because I didn’t know what else to do. But not everything can be solved with parties or trying to be nice when you should be honest.”
Pinkie picked at the hemmed edge of the checkered tablecloth. “But… but then what—”
“I don’t know, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said, turning from the scene outside with what seemed like great difficulty. “I’m afraid, and I don’t know what to do. What do you do when you can’t trust yourself? Hiding feels right, but I know that it isn’t. Facing Rarity is right, but it doesn’t feel that way. It’s going to be scary and awful.”
Pinkie tilted her head to the side, her eyes wide. “But you already faced her, and it was already scary and awful. I mean, how much more awful can it get? Everything went wrong!” Pinkie threw her hooves wide. “Just like on our date! Kablowee! Everything blew up in our faces like a balloon you blow into too hard because you spent too much time licking the icing bowl instead of decorating and now you’re in a big hurrybecausetheguestsaregonnabehereanyminute!” Pinkie whipped out a paper bag and stuck her muzzle into it. As the bag expanded and contracted rapidly, the pulsing vein that ran down the side of her forehead subsided a little. “What… what were we talking about? Oh, right! Big blowups!” Pinkie’s ears perked up and she yanked her face out of the bag. Crushing the end closed with her right hoof, she slammed her left into the inflated bag, which burst with a loud pop. “Sure, they’re loud and scary for a bit, but you’ve already been through that, so the worst is behind you.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No. Not really. The worst is still in front of us.” Glancing at the window and the open sky beyond it, Fluttershy’s wings twitched. “Or… or rather, it’s between us, keeping us apart. It’s when she feels bad for being angry at me, and then gets even more angry at herself for feeling that way. All because of something I did.”
“She...” Pinkie looked away, her brow wrinkling. “Yeah, she does that. Like... a lot.”
“She does, and that hurts worst of all. I hate thinking that I’ve disappointed her, but then to know that she blames herself for my actions—”
“Hey now! Just hold on a minute! She doesn’t—” When Pinkie’s mouth closed with a snap, her eyebrow shot up as if on springs to bounce alarmingly high over her forehead. “Okay, wow. Yeah, she does that too, but.. but that’s just Rares, I guess. She can’t help who she is.”
“That doesn’t mean I feel any better about making her go through that. I messed up, Pinkie. I wanted so badly to help her, and... then it got so out of hoof.”
“Well, yeah, but you didn’t mean for it to happen! You just—”
“Lied? Panicked? Lied some more?” Fluttershy began to hyperventilate, and her eyes twitched as if searching for an exit. “Stopped responding even though I knew she was freaking out? Hid under my bed like a scaredy-pony?”
“Well...” Sweat beaded on Pinkie’s brow when she held up a hoof. “Just a sec, Shy.” She yanked her saddlebag out from under the kitchen table and rifled through it for a moment. “Hmmm. Where is that thing? Rarity said it looked so good on the mayor—ah hah! ” Pinkie triumphantly held a cravat over her head before slipping it on. Turning to face Fluttershy once more, she yanked at the collar and perspired more heavily. “Um, okay, so those letters… They might seem bad in a certain light, but, um… Well, there’s lot of different kinds of lights. Whole stores full of them, so Rarity probably just had the wrong lamp…” Pinkie swallowed, not quite meeting Fluttershy’s eyes. “So… so maybe—”
“Pinkie, we both know that no light in all of Equestria would make those letters any less terrible.” Fluttershy nodded brusquely. “I appreciate you trying to make me feel better. I really do, but... what I did was not something that somepony will just fix for her with a little facepaint and a new t-shirt.”
Pinkie pursed her lips for a moment, her brow furrowing. “You’ve got her all wrong, Shy. I mean, yeah, she felt better after they fixed the pictures, but she... she forgave me. For everything! And she did it even before we knew about the re-shoot. She never even thought any of it was my fault even though it totally was!” She pointed at Fluttershy, adding: “Just like she never blamed you for the letters. She blamed herself for all of it. The only reason she was even kinda madish at you was because you didn’t come to see her afterwards. She thought you’d abandoned her.”
“That’s because I did,” Fluttershy said sadly. “When she needed me, I couldn’t... I just couldn’t.”
“But you can now!” Pinkie gave Fluttershy a few encouraging pats on her shoulder. “Now that you know how she really feels!”
“You mean how she’s incredibly disgusted with me because of what I was going to do? I really don’t see how that helps.”
Pinkie took Fluttershy’s head in her hooves and gently twisted it sideways. “You’re just looking at things all weird. Try it like this.” Trotting over to stand next to Fluttershy, Pinkie tilted her head at the same angle. “Huh. Okay, maybe not. That just makes my tummy feel seasick.” Pinkie shook her head briskly. “But Rarity’s… um… complicated.” She tapped her hoof on her chin. “I don’t know how to say it right. I guess she’s like a layer cake. Sometimes you look at it, and the outside is chocolate, and you think to yourself ‘Oh, chocolate cake! I love that!’, but then you cut into it, and the inside is vanilla marble! Then you think ‘Oh, look! It’s a vanilla marble cake with chocolate frosting! I love that!’ Then you pull the slice out and you notice that the icing between the layers is actually raspberry, and you think ‘Oh! It’s a vanilla marble and raspberry cake with chocolate frosting! I love that! ’, but you wouldn’t know until you cut into it and looked. I mean, unless you baked it, but you don’t bake Rarity. The closest she gets is that really hot room in the spa. So see? It’s like that.” A shadow of worry crossed Pinkie’s face for a moment. “But, um… don’t actually cut into Rarity, alright?”
Fluttershy just sighed, laying her head down on the table. “It’s okay, Pinkie. It’s getting late, I think you should go home and get some rest. It was a good try.”
Pinkie’s ears drooped as her eyes fell to her hooves. “Sorry. I’m just not as good with advice as Rarity is. She’d know just what to say if she was here and it was me you were afraid to talk to.” Sighing, Pinkie fished her saddlebag out from under the table, then paused. Frowning, she squatted down and stared at the shimmering trail her packs had left on the floor. “Do you have a dustpan? Looks like I’m leaking glitter. Again! ”
“In the pantry.” Fluttershy replied without looking up. After a moment, she stood, looking towards the stairs. “I’m sorry, Pinkie. Would it be okay if I asked you to see yourself out? I think I’d like to get some rest.”
“Nf Gmrmrfpf!” Pinkie said from around the dustpan’s handle. “R Glrffrm mmft!” Dropping a wink, she turned back to the small, stubborn patch of glitter and set to work.
~~~
Fluttershy nodded absently, plodding towards the stairs. It was so nice of Pinkie to come over and try to help out, but she was just so… so Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy loved her friend dearly, but having a discussion with her was always so exhausting. Pinkie just never seemed to run out of energy. I wish I could be like that. So eager for everything Equestria has to offer, but—
Fluttershy pulled up short, then pressed her ear to the front door.
“—just fine, Applejack. No need to fret.”
“Yeah, whatever you say. Just keep a hoof around my barrel so you don’t fall on your face again.”
“What are you implying, exactly?”
“That you’re a lousy drunk.”
“Well! I never! I am not ‘lousy’! I’ll have you know I groom to within an inch of my life and a louse would never dare—”
“I just mean you can’t hold your liquor all that well, sugarcube. No need to take offense.”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened, and she stood frozen for just a moment before bolting for her stairs. Trembling, she crouched and hid herself behind the railing.
“Well... I... I suppose I may have over-indulged.” Rarity’s voice was coming closer to the cottage, and Fluttershy continued to sink toward the floor, wishing she’d hid under her bed. “But I still wish it to be noted that my grooming is impeccable. ”
“Yeah, yeah, duly noted.” Applejack said with a laugh. “Hey girls,” she called into the cottage. “You decent? I finally dragged ‘Little Miss Hothead’ outta that bar. We came to check on y’all and fetch Pinkie.”
“I... I am not a hothead! I was simply tested beyond my measure... and I failed miserably. Goddesses, why am I so pathetic?”
“Grrmmflff! I mean, hi—” Fluttershy jumped at the sound of her small metal dustpan hitting the kitchen’s tiled floor. It was immediately followed by a fit of coughing and finally a groan. “Oh no! The glitter! Uh, we’re in here, Applejack!” Pinkie called back. “Well, I am, I mean. Fluttershy went upstairs to sleep. I hope she doesn’t have any louses in her bed! Those don’t sound fun at all, but maybe even louses are nice to Flutters. They’d probably only bite her a teeny-tiny bit.”
Fluttershy could hear Rarity’s fond chuckle as she entered the cottage, and while it was nice to know that Rarity was not in a bad mood right now, she didn’t feel very confident that things wouldn’t sour if she went down there to join them.
“Ah, the poor dear must be exhausted emotionally.” Rarity said, letting out a groan as the chair creaked, making Fluttershy jump anew. “Let me... just sit here a while until the room stops spinning, Pinkie. Then we’ll go home.”
“Sure thing! I’ve, uh, well, I sort of need to sweep this kitchen again, anyway. I mean, unless Fluttershy wants sparkle toast for breakfast with sparklelade jam and a big glass of sparklemilk.” A pause. “Rarity, does Fluttershy like sparkle toast? I mean, it sounds pretty good now that I’m thinking about it, and her kitchen’s all shimmery. Maybe I should just leave it!”
Clomping hoofsteps with a chuckle. “Somethin’ tells me that ain’t such a great idea. Glitter’s great and all, but maybe not exactly what Fluttershy wants to jump right out at her first thing in the mornin’. Fun as it is, most of us ain’t got the glitter tolerance you’ve got, ’specially in our milk. Where’s your—Whoa, Nelly!” Fluttershy winced as Applejack’s hooves scrambled over her kitchen tile. “Pinkie, how much glitter were you carryin’ around?”
“Ummmmmm…” Fluttershy caught a loud swallow. “Well, I just got two new fifty pound bags. Two! And I just happen to have two compartments in my saddlebags, so it’s perfect! Or, it is when they don’t leak. Like, a lot.”
“Rarity, you like sparkly stuff. You’re really missing out!” Applejack’s voice sounded muffled, as though her hoof was pressed firmly over her mouth. Fluttershy risked moving down a step, but try as she might, she still couldn’t quite see into the kitchen. The angle was all wrong, but she did catch the edge of Rarity’s hoof. Her heartbeat quickening, she climbed back to the top of the stairs and prayed that she hadn’t made any noise.
“I keep trying to sweep it up, but—Oh no! Now the other one is leaking! That’s the last time I buy glitter from Faulty Packaging Industries, no matter how cute the little dog on their coupon is!”
Fluttershy’s ears perked up. She did love cute dogs.
“I mean, just look at this puppy, AJ!”
“I’ll be. That is one cute puppy!”
“See? How can you resist that face? It’s just screaming ‘Buy a hundred pounds of glitter! One hundred pounds equals two extended tummy rub sessions! You don’t want me to go without tummy rubs, do you?’”
“Uh, Pinkie—”
“I tried to hold out, but then I was up all night, just worrying about those tummy rubs! I was going to just go with the ten pound bag, but then I thought it might just get a head pat, and what if that’s not enough for a little doggie? What if he’s cold and alone and has a totally rubless belly? What if he turns to a life of crime because of his deprived puppyhood?”
“Pinkie—”
“I couldn’t let that happen, so a hundred pounds it was, but who knew that Faulty Packaging Industries would have such faulty packaging? I just hope those belly rubs were worth it, Super Cute Puppy! You’d better study hard in school and get that medical degree! You’d better—”
“PINKIE PIE! ”
Pinkie’s hooves slid to a stop. “Uh, yeah, AJ?”
“Fascinatin’ as this all is, let’s put our backs into gettin’ this kitchen cleaned up for Fluttershy. You can tell me all about that puppy’s future in the medical profession somewhere down the road.”
“Okie-dokie-loki!”
Fluttershy’s hoof wandered to the lower step. More than anything, she wished that she could be in the kitchen. She wanted to give Pinkie a hug for caring about the little doggie so much, and she wanted to thank Applejack for being concerned about her reaction to the kitchen. She just wished she could live up to their example.
The two ponies in Fluttershy’s kitchen fell silent, though the sounds of sweeping and hooves traveling back and forth across a tiled floor filtered through the darkened living room and up through the stairwell. Eventually, Fluttershy’s legs began to cramp and she risked a glance through the rail to the cuckoo clock on her living room wall. Goodness! They’ve been at it for nearly forty-five minutes! Oh, Fluttershy. Some friend you are. You go to that kitchen this instant and—
“Whew! I think that’s got it, Pinkie.”
“Okay, let me just check the fridge.”
“Sure thing, Pink—wait, what about the fridge?”
“Well, she can’t have any sparklemilk if I don’t pour some in the jug and stir it up.”
“Pinkie, why don’t we wait and ask Fluttershy tomorrow if she wants some sparklemilk? Like I said, that’s the kind of thing that you don’t want jumpin’ right out at you first thing in the mornin’ when you’re not ready for it.”
A hoof tapped on the tile. “Okay, I guess. But I think you guys are missing out.”
“What I’m missin’ out on is my bedtime.” Applejack’s heavy hooffalls rang out as she crossed back into the living room. “Hey, Rarity. You ready to—awwww!”
“She’s all sleepy, AJ.”
“Told her she couldn’t hold her liquor,” Applejack said, chuckling.
“What?” Pinkie’s tail poked into view for a moment as it stiffened. “She couldn’t hold it? How many drinks were you two drinking at a time? I’ve seen her use her magic to hold like a hundred ribbons and buttons and stuff all at once!”
“Pinkie, remind me to sit you all down at some point and go over the finer points of bar slang. You girls are a bit behind the curve. Actually, Twilight’s not just behind the curve. She ain’t even in the same general geographical location of it.”
“I don’t know. Twilight seems pretty up on curves to me. Why, just the other day, she was saying that you were curvy in all the right places, especially when you had on some of the things that Rainbow apparently bought you for your birth—”
“Pinkie, let’s get Rarity up and out of here!” Applejack said in a breathless rush.
“We could maybe stuff her into one of my bags. She’ll have glitter-butt, but she likes sparkly things.”
“Just put her across my back, Pinkie. Something tells me Rarity’ll wake up fit to be tied if she’s half covered in glitter.”
“Um.”
Fluttershy clamped both hooves over her mouth in surprise. She hadn’t meant to say anything, but she wasn’t sure if draping Rarity over Applejack like a bag of meal was very wise. Having said something, however, she couldn’t very well pretend to be sleeping any longer.
“Well, hey, Fluttershy!” Applejack tipped her hat back to get a better look at her friend on the stairs. “Sorry, did Pinkie and I wake you? We were tryin’ to be quiet. We’ll be outta your mane in two shakes just as soon as we get Rarity outta here.”
“That’s... that’s okay. I think maybe it might be better if you let her just sleep? It just doesn’t sound very nice carrying her back like that...” she trailed off, unsure.
“I told you the saddlebags were the way to go, AJ!” Pinkie leaned around to open the left compartment. Catching the light, the glitter coating the inside shown like a miniature sun. “One glitter-butt later and our princess will be safely tucked into bed.”
Applejack’s eyes cut sideways, and her mouth twitched as if it was unsure whether it ought to be grinning or frowning. “Pinkie, you’d be hard pressed to get Winona in that thing. How exactly are you plannin’ to stuff Rarity in there?”
“Well, we’d just… just...” As Pinkie stared into the pack, her eyes dilated, and a line of drool trailed out of the side of her mouth.
“Pinkie! ” Applejack waved a hoof in front of Pinkie’s eyes, then knocked the saddlebag’s cover closed. She rolled her eyes as Pinkie rubbed her eyes and blinked. “I think Fluttershy’s got the right of it. Probably for the best if Rarity just sleeps it off.” Squinting up at the staircase, Applejack caught Fluttershy’s eye. “She’ll probably feel a little rough in the mornin’, though. Might need a little hair of the dog when she wakes up. If you’ve got any, that is.”
“I... I’ll go check the kennel, but I don’t see how dog hair is going to help her,” Fluttershy replied.
Applejack squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, grimacing. “No, I mean—nevermind. I’ll just add you to the list. It’s like you girls’ve never had a drink in your lives.”
Pinkie arched an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side. “She needs dog hair because she’s feeling ruff? Did you girls break into Zecora’s transformation potions again?”
“What do you mean, ‘us girls?’” Applejack’s eyes narrowed. “It was you and Rainbow that drank them potions.”
“Ooooooooh, right. I forgot!” Pinkie’s ears perked up. “That was the best day I’ve ever spent as an owl-ocelot-otter, or as I like to call it, an owlcelotter!”
“If you two were tryin’ to be make yourselves turn into dragons, why did you drink all the O’s?”
“Rainbow wanted to be an Awesome Dragon!”
Applejack stared at Pinkie for a moment. “But ‘Awesome’ ain’t spelled with an O,” she finally said.
“I know that, but would Rainbow listen? Nooooooooo.”
Rolling her eyes, Applejack put one hoof on Pinkie’s rump and pushed her toward the front door. “Sorry for keepin’ you up, Fluttershy. You sure you’ll be alright with Rarity here? It won’t be no trouble at all to lug her on home.”
“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Fluttershy said firmly. As nervous as she was about another blowout with Rarity, she was still a friend, and she knew Rarity well enough to know that she’d be horrified at the idea of being carried home like a sack of grain. ”You two should go get some rest. Pinkie can come pick her up in the morning.”
When the two of them had finally gone, Fluttershy took a moment to examine her kitchen, and while there were still specks of sparkliness here and there, the vast majority had been swept up. She nevertheless grabbed a broom to get the remainder, as her mousy friends might try to eat it otherwise, and she wasn’t sure it was good for them.
Fluttershy started when Rarity mumbled something incoherent. Poking her head around the door jamb, she could see that Rarity had curled up into a tight ball on the couch and was shivering despite the cozy warmth of the cottage. She needs a quilt or she’ll catch cold, she thought, hesitating despite seeing the need. She chided herself for it, and hurriedly went to the linen closet for one of her many hoof-stitched quilts. Fluttershy, why are you always such a feather-brain? You know how drafty that window is…
She frowned down at her hooves. They were shaking slightly as she tried to work the closet’s latch. Closing her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath, then glanced back over toward the couch. Rarity’s soft, silky hair had fallen over her eyes. The tip of her nose just poked through, and Fluttershy wondered if Rarity knew it wiggled when she snored. So many little things about her. About all of them. I wonder if any of us really know how special we are to each other? With a sigh, she turned back to the closet and dug out her warmest quilt. Her mother had made it when Fluttershy moved into the cottage. They’d joked about how it was a literal housewarming gift. Gathering it up, she brought it back to the couch.
“Okay, you’ll feel a lot better with this around you,” Fluttershy whispered as she unfolded the quilt. “You know, you probably shouldn’t drink so much. It makes you lose your body’s natural warmth. But maybe you wouldn’t drink too much if you had better friends who knew how to take care of you instead of being selfish.” Fluttershy spread the blanket, then carefully tucked it in and around her sleeping friend. “I wish I could tell you that I’ll be better, but we both know I can’t be, so I won’t. I’ll be leaving early to feed the birds, but I’ll leave you some fresh oat and barley cakes on the table.” Though whispering, her voice still cracked on the last syllable. Her lower lip trembled. “I’m sorry, Rarity. You deserve to have a best friend who isn’t too scared to do what’s right, but you don’t have one. Or maybe you do, now that you have Pinkie. She’s strong, so maybe you don’t need me anymore, if you ever did. You’re better off now. I hope you have sweet dreams.”
Blinking back tears, Fluttershy turned back to the kitchen. “At least let me clean the rest of this glitter up so that you can have a nice breakfast. I can do that much, at least.”
~~~
Pinkie bounced to one side of Applejack, then leapt over her to land on the other side again. With each landing, a small explosion of glitter poofed out of her saddlebags and into the crisp night air.
“Pinkie, I’m glad you’re feelin’ your oats, but would you mind tonin’ it down a bit. You’re makin’ me dizzy.” Applejack scowled up at Pinkie as her friend’s rear hoof caught her hat and knocked it askew. “Ponies weren’t built to jump all the time. You’re gonna hurt your knees… and my noggin.”
Landing with another glittery explosion, Pinkie bolted ahead a few feet, then whirled. “So I’ve been thinking—”
“Sounds like dangerous business,” Applejack muttered.
“— Now that we’re unofficially officially family…” Pinkie’s grin widened.
“Uh, yeah?” Applejack mentally upgraded the small trickle of apprehension that generally started to flow in Applejack’s heart to a healthy creek. “I-I mean, sure, it’s not totally confirmed, but, uh—”
Pinkie leapt forward and grabbed Applejack’s head. Now nose to nose, Pinkie’s eyes dilated. “I thought you guys could finally show me the Family Tree!”
“You’re squooshin’ my cheeks up.” Applejack pried away Pinkie’s hooves. “And you already saw that back at Goldie’s place, remember?”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “No, silly. The tree! ”
“Come again?” Applejack said, scratching behind her ear.
“Oh, come on. Your Family Tree!” Pinkie frowned at Applejack’s blank stare. “You got to see our Family Rock. I want to see your Family Tree! It’s probably a thousand feet tall, and it has apples the size of wagons! No! Houses! House-apples that you could carve out and live in. Then when you get hungry in the middle of the night, you could just roll over and take a few nibbles of a wall and go right back to sleep!”
Staring down at the road, Applejack took strength in the plain solidity of the thing. Though natural, the dirt and rocks had a regular, calming quality that any of the decidedly unnatural conversations that she had with Pinkie Pie seemed to lack. “Pinkie, we don’t actually have a tree. It’s just a book with a bunch of names in it.”
Pinkie’s grin collapsed. “No way. For really?”
“For really.”
“Is this some kind of Apple secret?” Pinkie said, squinting back at Applejack. “’Cause I’ll totally memorize the secret hoofshake or whatever it is you guys do.”
Applejack squeezed her eyes tightly closed for a moment, gritting her teeth. “I’m tellin’ you, Pinkie, there ain’t no actual tree.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense!” Pinkie rose onto her hind hooves and threw her forehooves wide beside her. “We have a rock farm, so there’s a family rock. Are you trying to tell me that in all of the trees on Sweet Apple Acres, there’s not one that’s the Family Tree?”
Squinting at the horizon, Ponyville seemed a long ways away still. A disturbing, conversation-filled long ways away. “I, uh… I guess they’re all Family Trees, Pinkie. We planted them and take care of them, just like you folks do with your rocks… I guess.”
“You can’t just cheat and call them all your Family Trees!” Pinkie set her hooves on her hips, which caused another small burst of glitter to shoot out into the moonlight.
A small, vertical crease formed between Applejack’s eyebrows. “It ain’t cheatin’. It’s just a different way of lookin’ at things. We can’t take special care of any one tree. We gotta treat ’em all the same so that they produce an even harvest. Can’t sell a basket of huge apples to one customer and then itty-bitty apples to another. Ponies got a right to expect a particular thing when they come to our produce stand.”
Pinkie dropped back down to four hooves, and she looked away. “I-I know that, AJ. When ponies come to our rock stalls, they’re looking for the same things: Flavor. Texture. Aroma. Rock farming isn’t all that different, really.”
A silence stretched out between them. “Uh…” Applejack finally said.
“But that doesn’t mean you can’t give a little more to the family!” Pinkie nudged Applejack in the side with her foreknee. “We don’t harvest the Family Rock. It’s part of us. We meet around it when important stuff comes up. We celebrate holidays with it. We talk to it when we get lonely or scared.”
“Y’all’re talkin’ to rocks?”
Pinkie’s eyes sparkled. “Well, sure! Where do you think all my great ideas come from?”
Applejack stared back down at the comforting regularity of the road. “You know what, Pinkie? I ain’t surprised in the least.”
She jumped when Pinkie leapt high overhead. From somewhere unseen, fireworks erupted. “Ooh, ooh! AJ, I just had the best idea, and I didn’t even have to talk to a rock to get it!”
“I have the feelin’ that I’m gonna regret this, but what?”
Pinkie’s mane and tail stood on end, and small sparks of excited electricity jumped from them. “We can go to Sweet Apple Acres and pick your Family Tree!”
“It’s kinda late, Pinkie,” Applejack replied, pointing up at the dark night sky.
“And that’s the perfect time!” Pinkie’s white teeth gleamed in the moonlight. “The trees will be all sleepy, so we can get to see the real them! No putting on airs or showboating. Just trees being leafy and apple-y and barky.” She paused for a moment, rubbing her chin. “Winona’s gonna be asleep, too, right? Wouldn’t want to get the barks confused.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “I’m sure Winona’s asleep, and that puts her one step ahead of us. We better get along.”
Snapping to attention, Pinkie pivoted smartly toward Sweet Apple Acres. “Right. We need to get along to see which trees you get along with the best! As an unofficial official Apple, I solemnly swear that I won’t leaf your side until I get to the root of this No Family Tree issue.” From somewhere that Applejack couldn’t quite detect, a fife and drum started to play a vigorous marching song. “We’ll risk life and tree limb while we search from seed to shining seed!”
Applejack groaned and rubbed the side of her face. Between half-dragging Rarity to Fluttershy’s cottage and now this, it’d been a long night. “Pinkie, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I think this is the sort of thing that we gotta have a family meetin’ about. Sounds like Family Trees are a big deal. We can’t just force that kinda thing on ponies.”
“Oh, yeah.” Pinkie froze in mid marching step. Slowly she sank down to her haunches. “I guess you’re right.”
“Sure I am,” Applejack replied with a yawn. “Granny Smith’s gonna have all kinds of insight about stuff we ain’t even thought of, and Big Mac’ll say ‘Yup’ a lot. You need that kinda input before you make big decisions. Plus, Apple Bloom ain’t even up to talk about it.” Applejack squinted off toward the horizon. “At least, she’d better not be, or Mac’ll have somethin’ other than pickin’ a tree to worry about.”
“Aww…” Pinkie’s ears drooped, and she dropped her gaze to her hooves.. “Tree picking was going to be super fun, though.”
“Buck up, Pinkie,” Applejack said, hooking a hoof around her friend’s barrel. With a grunt, she hauled Pinkie up to her hooves again. “We can talk about it again when it ain’t so late and home’s not so far away. For now, we’d better get steppin’ or we’ll be out here ’til dawn.” She snapped her jaw closed, but it was too late. The words were out.
“But if it’s dawn, we can talk to the family ’cause they’ll all be up then!” Pinkie’s eyes sparkled, and her voice took on an unsettling vibrato quality has so bounced rapidly in place. “And that’ll be perfect! Everypony will be totally rested up and we can talk about trees, and walk around trees, and stalk the trees, and flock to the—”
“There’s just one problem with your plan, Pinkie.”
Pinkie pulled up short. “Huh? What’s that?”
“The one where you and I will be fallin’ over tired ’cause we ain’t slept for a day.” Applejack didn’t quite stifle another yawn behind her hoof. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m bushed.”
“Bushes?” Pinkie cocked her head to the side. “Applejack, we’re talking about trees here. You really must be tired.”
Applejack opened her mouth several times before deciding that it just wasn’t worth it. “Yeah, I am, so let’s just get home and figure this all out tomorrow. Preferably after sleepin’ in.”
Rubbing her eyes, Pinkie let out a yawn of her own. “I guess you’re right. My head wants to pick out trees, but my eyes keep drooping, and now my mouth is yawny. Sleep probably is the best thing, huh?”
“I guarantee it, Pinkie.” Applejack breathed a mental sigh or relief. The last thing she needed was to be doing some crazy tree inspection in the middle of the night. With any luck, Pinkie would forget all about this silliness by the morning. “So let’s get you back to Sugarcube Corner, so I can—”
“Sugarcube Corner? No way, silly billy—”
“Alright, fine then. The carousel,” Applejack smirked at Pinkie. “Got used to sleepin’ in different places, huh?”
“What? No.” Pinkie cocked an eyebrow at Applejack before realization hit her. “Oh! I mean, yes! Err… sometimes! Not enough!”
Applejack’s grin widened. “You go get ’em, tiger! If I’m readin’ Rarity right, there ain’t gonna be much sleep goin’ on pretty soon.”
“Ummm… Well, maybe,” Pinkie replied with a deep blush, “but that’s not what I’m talking about. We gotta go to the farm!”
“You see, the thing with Rarity is you gotta—wait. What? The farm?”
“Well, yeah!” Pinkie’s face lit up again. “How else am I going to go over my trained gopher plan with you?” Digging into her mane, Pinkie pulled out a large schematic blueprint and unrolled it for them both to read. “You see, it all starts with the Rodent Agricultural Training Symposium. I know that spells R.A.T.S., but we’ll be doing gophers. Hopefully they’ll be on board. I’ve drawn up plans for a twenty building campus, and also this cute daisy in a field off in the corner of this sheet. I ran out of green. That’s why some of the grass is red. Anyway, once the gophers all get their degrees, we can have them manage the fields. With the right sales pitch, I think they’ll go-fer it. Then you can just kick your hooves up after that!” Pinkie flipped rapidly through the giant sheets of paper. “So here on page eighty-five, you can see…”
Applejack groaned and pulled her hat down over her eyes. This was going to be a long, long walk.
~~~
Rarity’s lips smacked loudly as she snuggled into the covers. Her eyes flickered, glancing upwards at the unexpected wood paneled ceiling. Under her back, instead of the luxurious downiness of her bed, she felt instead a firm but soft surface of a couch of some sort. Perhaps she’d passed out on the chaise lounge again? It would hardly be the first time. Her mind puzzled at her surroundings, thoughts coming sluggishly. Her first conclusion was that she was clearly drunk. The fact that it had taken so long to decide that of necessity proved it. Her second came slower.
She was somewhere else. That was to say, she was looking at a ceiling that was unfamiliar to her. She’d seen her own many, many times, and of late, had seen quite a bit of Pinkie’s high vaulted ceiling as well. This was neither of those.
Wherever she was, she was warm and comfortable, so at the very least she was likely with a friend, or with family. This was not her parents’ home, however. Actually, the wood told her that she was likely with one of three friends, as nothing was made of clouds here.
Slowly, and with not an inconsiderable amount of difficulty, she tilted her head, and was presented with a second clue: a bird cage on a gilded pedestal. Her mind mulled that over, first eliminating Applejack’s farmhouse, then, more slowly, Twilight’s library. That one she had to think about, as she tried to remember what exactly it was that her pet owl slept on. That only left one friend as a possibility.
She puzzled at that, trying to remember how it was that this had transpired. Her inebriated brain, when consulted, informed her that to its knowledge, she and Fluttershy were going through a tiff of some sort. It had no immediate answers as to the hows or whys, just that the situation she found herself in was unusual. Not unwelcome, but odd.
She remembered... a bar. She had been talking to a friend... to Applejack, that was it. Many drinks had been had, and better times discussed. They had left the bar to come to... here, actually. They had come here to fetch Pinkie.
Was Pinkie here, then? A quick consultation with her ears informed her that it was unlikely. There was no sound of anything breaking, nor exclamatory speech, nor song. The room was very quiet, save for some noises of small animals, and a less distinct but still recognizable sound. Somepony was sweeping up something.
So, she was drunk, on Fluttershy’s couch. She was wrapped up in something warm and pleasant. That spoke of being there of the owner’s volition, at least. She thought hard, trying to discern how this could have transpired.
She remembered... talking with Applejack on the way to this very cottage. Applejack had asked her if she might wish to try reconciling again. At the time, she’d said no... but here she was, with a missing block of time in her memory. Had she... somehow, reconciled with Fluttershy, and then passed out?
The blanket was... beginning to feel a little warm, actually. She slowly and carefully removed it, then chanced sitting up. The room spun around her, and she collapsed back onto the couch.
Ah yes, you’ve definitely overindulged, idiot.
She tried again, hoping the room had had its fun with her and might be willing to show a little mercy. And indeed, the room stayed quite still. Her stomach, however, lurched first to the left, then the right, then thrust forward in a sickening motion as she finally managed to achieve some semblance of balance.
Let’s... let’s not do that again.
“Rarity! You lie back down this instant!” A gentle but firm hoof wrapped around her shoulders and attempted to steer her back down into the cushions. “You’re, um… you’re in no condition…” She heard a loud swallow, and the hoof on her shoulders trembled. “I mean, um…”
“I’ve—” Rarity’s stomach did its little dance in reverse, and she bit back a surge of fluid that threatened to spill all over Fluttershy’s floor. “I’ve... just gone to the trouble of sitting up, and fear trying to lay back down would have horrible results. Would you mind if I sit, very very carefully?”
Several incoherent squeaks followed before Fluttershy swallowed again. “If you need to sit up, then we’ll have you sit up.” Taking a deep breath, she plucked two cushions from the further side of the sofa and stuffed them behind Rarity. “We’ll do whatever’s best for you.”
“Th-thank you.” Rarity replied with a little shudder. “Just... give me a moment to compose myself.”
Fluttershy took a step back, her eyes meeting Rarity’s briefly before skittering away to the safer corners of the room. A flush crept into her cheeks. “Okay. Do you need a… a bucket?”
“That—” Rarity clamped her mouth shut as her stomach tried to leap up through her mouth, and somehow managed to belch through gritted teeth. “That would be very wise. And... do you have any mint tea, by chance? Or ginger. Ginger would work.”
“Of course!” Several loose pieces of paper flew off of the end table and fluttered to the ground as the pegasus whisked into the kitchen. Moments later, she returned with a delicate white pail and placed it gently on the couch beside Rarity. “The tea will just be a moment.” She stood before Rarity for a moment, fidgeting, before turning back to the kitchen. “In fact, I-I’ll just go check on that.”
Rarity eyed the pail warily, uncertain if it was up for the task it needed to perform. She forbore from utilizing it, but brought it up to the coffee table, just in case. Looking towards the kitchen, she watched Fluttershy flit about, equally uncertain of whether her friend was up for the task asked of her. “Darling... where—” Another heave cut her question short, and she very nearly stained the pail with some unequine mixture of bile and assorted hard liquors. She took a moment to catch her breath, then tried again. “Where is Pinkie Pie?”
China clinked in the kitchen. “She’s probably back at Sugarcube Corner by now. She, um… well, they needed to get you home, so she wanted to try to fit you into her saddlebag. Applejack was just going to put you over her back and trot you back to the boutique.” Fluttershy appeared again, flying carefully through the door frame while holding a serving tray. “It took a little convincing to get them to leave you here. I-I thought you should probably just sleep…”
“Well, that... that was very kind of you.” Rarity said, smiling in relief. “We’ve all had a trying day, haven’t we?”
“Pinkie sure did,” Fluttershy replied, lifting the teapot and filling Rarity’s cup. “She tried all afternoon, but…” The teapot traveled to the second cup before wavered uncertainly. After a moment, Fluttershy sighed and put the put back down on the serving tray. “Listen to me prattling on when you need to sleep. I’ll just leave this here for you…” Swallowing, she edged away from the table.
“Wait, please?” Rarity said quickly. “Would you mind keeping me company for a time? Unless I’m keeping you from your rest, of course. Then by all means.”
“You’re not.” Fluttershy’s voice was barely a whisper. “But… Okay.” With a badly trembling hoof, she lifted the teapot again and poured into her own cup, then dropped in two sugarcubes.
Rarity noted her friend’s apparent nervousness, and found herself questioning her earlier supposition that a reconciliation had occurred. Her thoughts churned sluggishly in her mind, dulled by a burgeoning hangover. She eventually came to the conclusion that either they had reconciled, and Fluttershy was still nervous around her, or they hadn’t, and Fluttershy was still nervous around her. She blinked.
Right, this is Fluttershy. I suppose, then, I should assume to be cautious either way.
“Darling,” she began, hesitantly. “I...that is... my outburst, earlier... I—”
“I don’t blame you.” Fluttershy set her cup down and pressed her forehooves between her knees. Her eyes were glued to the gentle swirls within her tea. “I deserved it. All of it. I… I know you don’t want to see me anymore, and that’s fine. It’s what I get for what I did. I understand. I just hope we talk sometimes, for… for Pinkie, you know? It’s important to her.”
“Now wait just a—” Rarity began with a raised voice, then winced as a thousand jackhammers assaulted the depths of her skull. “Wait,” she said in a much lower tone. “I was angry, but I never said I didn’t want to see you, darling. The whole point to inviting you over was to attempt to reconcile, even if I botched it completely.”
Fluttershy opened her mouth a few times, searching. Finally, her hoof jerked out and snatched up her teacup. She took a large sip, grimacing at the heat. “Rarity…” The hoof trembled again. “Was it just for her?”
“It was for her, in part, but for you as well, and for myself.” Rarity winced again as her body reminded her very directly why doing what she had done was a very bad idea. “I... I wanted to just go on resenting you for what you did, but... you’re a dear, dear friend, and... I’d like to think that... that we can be friends again, despite all of this awfulness. Pinkie... simply forced me to admit that I badly wanted that again, even if my pride said otherwise.”
Fluttershy’s lower lip trembled, and the teacup chattered and skipped across the saucer as she fought to put it down with both hooves. “I thought I was a dear, dear friend, too. Don’t you see, Rarity?” Her face crumpled before she hid it behind her wing. “I thought I was a good friend, but I did that. I did it. When you needed me, I lied and hid and ran! How can I be anypony’s friend after that? I can’t trust myself!”
“You were...frightened. We often flee when confronted with something that makes us uncomfortable—”
“Not often! Always! I can’t face anything, and this time it hurt somepony, Rarity!”
Rarity audibly hissed in pain as Fluttershy’s words rang out through the cottage. Several birds and small animals woke from their peaceful slumbers and began making a cacophony in protest.
Fluttershy bolted from the chair and into the air. “See? I’m doing it again! I’ve hurt you! I’m waking the animals!” She ran a shaking hoof through her now tangled mane, sweeping it back from her tear-stained face. “I-I’ll go. I’m sorry! I’m so sorry for everything!” She darted to the right, then veered away as she nearly ran into a hanging lamp only to tangle a wing in her curtain. With a cry, she fell.
“Fluttershy!” Rarity called out in alarm, struggling to unsteady hooves and rushing to her friend’s side. “Are you hurt?”
On the floor, Fluttershy curled into a tight ball and cried. “N-not as badly as I d-d-deserve to be,” she finally managed.
Rarity eased herself down beside Fluttershy, smoothing back her matted mane. “You didn’t deserve any of this, Fluttershy. If... if I could, I would take it all back with that blasted letter. It was better, before. Neither of us were ready for what I told you.”
“You shouldn’t have to take them back.” Fluttershy’s voice was thick with misery. “W-what you did was out of love. Not me, though. I did what I did because I was scared.” Fluttershy turned onto her back for a moment before completing the turn and burying her face into the side of Rarity’s barrel. “Anypony can see the difference and what it means.”
Rarity’s eyes widened at the simple act of closeness, and she held her breath lest Fluttershy flee again. Slowly, she put her hooves around Fluttershy.
“Love...” she mused, stroking Fluttershy’s mane gently. “You know, I wonder sometimes if I ever really knew what that was. I’ve been in love so many times, and every time I thought it was the one. ” Rarity sighed heavily, “But... I think I’ve only ever been loved once. It’s... a bit overwhelming, to be honest. I think I can see why you were afraid.”
Fluttershy tipped her head away just enough to catch Rarity’s eye. “I wish I could see why. I’d give anything to be a different pony. A braver one. Somepony you could count on to do the right thing when it gets scary. Instead…” She hid her face again, pressing more firmly into Rarity’s side.
“Well, you did, in a way. You... you could have pretended to love me, despite yourself. You could have just lived a lie. You didn’t do that, and... and while avoidance might not have been my preferred way of being turned down, it... it did the job, in the end. Thank you for being brave enough for that.”
A long silence stretched out between them, interrupted only by muffled sniffling and the occasional twitter or squeak from the critters that surround them. Then, haltingly, Fluttershy reached out and took Rarity’s hoof. “I’m glad you have Pinkie,” she said. “Those letters. They were so sweet and wonderful at the beginning, even though they scared me and I didn’t know what to do. I felt just awful that I didn’t feel the way that you felt, but they were also pieces of you. I missed you so badly while you were away, and…” —Fluttershy’s voice shook again— “... and it m-made it s-so hard, Rarity. You were following your passion and trying to share your love. I admired it. You should have somepony to write those letters to, and I hope Pinkie is the one. The one that I’m not. The one who deserves you.”
“Pinkie’s wonderful,” Rarity said with a little chuckle. “I think... I think I love her in a way I’ve never loved anypony in my life. I... I never know quite how to feel, when she’s around. She keeps me on my toes, to be sure. But... I don’t know that I would write those sorts of things to her. I love her in ways I will never love you, and while it might have been easier on me to have fallen for her first, I won’t pretend that I did. But... just the same, I love you in ways I will never love her, even if you don’t feel the same. I... I suppose that will never really change,” she hugged Fluttershy a little tighter. “You’ll need to tell me what sort of stallion you’re looking for, so that we can find you a nice one. Then we can double date.”
Fluttershy’s head turned again, and this time her eyes held equal parts confusion and hope. “Can we… I mean, do you really still want to be my friend after all that, Rarity? Really be my friend?”
“Well, of course!” Rarity replied with a smile. “How else am I supposed to find you somepony worthy of you? Now, tell me, did any of those nice lads in Whinneypeg catch your eye? What did you like in particular?”
Fluttershy slowly sat up and wiped her eyes, then threw her hooves around her friend. “Oh, Rarity! I didn’t know what I was going to do without you!”
“All the better that neither of us have to find out,” Rarity said, returning the embrace.
Step One: An Evening of Dancing and Fun
Rarity watched as the train pulled up to the station. She did not expect much of a reception, as many of her friends were still traveling or wrapping up their summer occupations. Truthfully, she only expected one at most, by virtue of having only told that one the time and date of her arrival.
She couldn’t quite say why she’d only told Pinkie. Well, in reflection she could. Three of her friends had forged a summer romance, and while she was happy for them, seeing them laughing and smiling and kissing and nuzzling was not something she was ready for. All it would do was further demonstrate to her the things life would not grant her. The fourth... may well have run at the mere sight of her. She definitely was not ready for that confrontation, even if she had tried everything she could think of to fix that mistake. Consequently, there was really only one friend her heart could bear to see right now, and in truth she ached for it. Perhaps it was unfair to burden Pinkie with her sadness, but Rarity’s days had been particularly dark and lonely of late, and she desperately needed something to smile about.
There was a sense of guilt about that, alleviated only slightly by the fact that cheering up a friend was something Pinkie lived for. Rarity had been down before, and had unashamedly accepted Pinkie’s joy and light to help her get through it, but this seemed too much for any one pony. She considered again the prospect of locking herself away in the Boutique and just staying there, but rejected it willfully. If she couldn’t have love, was happiness so much to ask? Surely not. And Pinkie could help her to find a little joy in life.
Pinkie continued humming her welcome song. She’d been humming it ever since she’d arrived at Ponyville’s train station, three days ago. It’d been nearly a week since she’d received Rarity’s letter, informing her that she would be arriving today. From the sound of things, Rarity’s summer had been hard, and she needed some cheering up. Pinkie lived for making bad times into good ones, and good times into great ones, so she had come fully prepared to give her friend the warmest, friendliest, most I-haven’t-seen-you-in-forever-and-I-totally-missed-you-iest welcome home her friend had ever seen!
Pinkie had been so excited to see her dear friend again that she’d pitched her travel-worn tent right in the middle of the platform. There was a chance that Rarity’s train might be a little earlier and she didn’t want to miss it! Pinkie had been a little disappointed when the security guards had politely, but firmly, asked her to leave a few hours later. They’d explained that the various ropes and stakes supporting the tent were a pedestrian hazard, and they’d had a few colorful phrases regarding her campfire. Pinkie couldn’t remember exactly what they were now, though. She’d been too busy humming at the time to really listen.
So she continued her song, and she continued watching the eastern horizon, where she knew Rarity’s train would be coming from, but above all else, she continued bouncing. Pinkie loved bouncing. Everything about it was fun. Sometimes, she’d spend all day with a new rubber ball, bouncing it on different surfaces around Ponyville, watching to see how high it would go and what kind of funny sound it would make as it rebounded. And it wasn’t just new rubber balls. Pinkie loved anything that bounced! She loved the way her curly, poofy mane bounced against her neck as she hopped through town. She loved trampolines. She especially loved those little balls that bounced over the words that let people know what to sing. But more than anything else, she loved when she bounced, and she’d been jumping in place for days now.
When all the jumping had broken the first wooden plank, it had briefly dampened her mood. Now the security guards were bound to come yell at her again, and Rarity would be coming back to a yucky, jaggedy welcome. Pinkie didn’t want that at all. This was the fanciest pony that she knew, after all, and she wanted the platform to be appropriately fashionable. But now, in her excitement, she’d ruined it.
Pinkie had fretted for a few moments before getting one of her stupendous ideas. Digging through her saddlebags, she’d pulled out a huge roll of stickers. Soon, the broken board had been covered in glittering hearts, sunny smiley faces, frolicking flowers, and romping kittens. She’d tied a balloon to each end of the broken board to add that special finishing touch that she knew Rarity would appreciate. Wasn’t Rarity the one who was always telling them that it’s the accessories that really bring an ensemble together?
That was two days ago. Since then, Pinkie had broken five more boards and nearly used up her roll of festive stickers. That was beginning to really worry her, since all that she had left were scratch and sniff. Pinkie certainly loved the succulently-scented stickers, but they didn’t have the sparkly, shiny quality that her other roll did. Rarity loved shiny things and Pinkie wanted her return to be as sparkletastic as it could be.
But finally, she’d heard the train whistle! Rarity was almost here, and Pinkie was beside herself with joy. She’d spent the long, hot summer travelling all over Equestria, but she’d missed her friends terribly. Besides a couple of hours with Rainbow Dash, she hadn’t seen any of them in months and her loneliness had been suffocating at times. The days apart were only enhancing this moment, though. Pinkie’s heart was hammering in her chest, and she was having a hard time choosing between humming and squealing with glee. She settled for humming in a much higher register, giggling at the funny way it made her nose vibrate. She couldn’t wait to see her friend again! Not only had Rarity said she was coming back. She’d said specifically in her letter that she wanted to hang out with Pinkie more than anypony else!
Pinkie had read and re-read that letter, just to make sure. In the past, it had sometimes seemed like Rarity was a little distant. Oh, they’d always had a good time and everything, but it’s not like Rarity had invited her over to the boutique all that often. In fact, the last time that she could remember, Rarity had asked if she wanted to come see her new fall lineup. Pinkie had been spending the morning snacking on cinnamon rolls, but hanging with Rarity had sounded like way more fun!
As usual, the dresses had been just gorgeous. Pinkie had been so moved by their taffeta shininess and sequiny sparkliness that she’d gathered them all up in a huge hug. Rarity had gasped in horror as half her new line had ended up stuck to Pinkie’s cinnamon-sugary hooves. The stains had proven to be remarkably hard to remove, and the dresses all vaguely smelled of spices, but Pinkie had thought that might be a good selling point. Though she’d told Pinkie several times that it was no big deal at all, Pinkie hadn’t missed the fact that Rarity hadn’t invited her back since.
But now she was planning on making that all up to Rarity today. She had a day full of fun all planned out, and all Rarity would have to do was sit back and enjoy the ride. Pinkie was determined to make this her friend’s best day ever, especially since it sounded like Rarity had had a rough summer. Her letters had seemed melancholy, and Pinkie didn’t like that at all. She firmly believed that melons should be sweet, not sad.
Nearer now, the train whistle blew, and Pinkie added a few tiny, scissoring leg kicks to the apex of each leap. Her hooves were tingling, and Pinkie was pretty sure what that meant. Her friend was almost here, and this was going to be the best day they’d ever had together.
And not a moment too soon! she thought as the board below her made an ominous splintering sound. I’m almost out of stickers!!
Rarity chuckled good-naturedly upon seeing Pinkie waiting patiently, or at least, as patiently as possible for the pink dervish of a pony. She hoped her friend had not actually camped on the platform as she had said she was planning to do. I wrote to her that I would be arriving S unday , didn't I? I hope she hasn't been waiting too long. With a sigh she realized that may well have been the case. I suppose it's not really surprising for Pinkie. She watched the pink pony's head dart about, trying to spot the car she would be disembarking from. The train came to a halt, though Pinkie's almost manic searching didn't. She was already moving forward when the train finally ground to a halt, sending up a large cloud of steam from the engine.
Rarity didn't get up immediately when the doors opened, allowing most of the hustle and bustle to pass her by before finally exiting the train herself. She could hear Pinkie calling for her, possibly worried about being unable to find her. She watched Pinkie bounce around and was hit with a wave of emotions. She had smiled for the first time in a long while when she'd read Pinkie's letter, and again her face lit up merely seeing her friend happily bouncing on the platform. Pinkie Pie was perhaps the only one that could make her smile after the horrid time she'd been through, she simply couldn't help herself. She moved forward in a daze, dropping the veritable mountain of bags she always traveled with and headed straight for her friend. In a surreal turn of events it was Rarity that tackled Pinkie Pie in a hug, burying her face in her friend's shoulder and praying that she wouldn't start crying again. It wasn't until Pinkie gasped for breath that she loosened her grip somewhat, sniffing once and smiling ruefully. “Sorry, I really needed that.”
“Rarity!” Pinkie squealed, beaming as her hooves rapidly tattooed a steady rhythm of excitement on the boardwalk. “Oh, I’ve missed you so, so, so much! Oh, but I guess we won’t be needing that.” Pinkie wiggled her closely-pinned hoof vaguely in the direction of an enormous pile of pillows that were piled nearby. “After that pounce-hug bruised up Applejack a while back, I started taking safety precautions.” Pinkie giggled, trying in vain to cover her mouth with a hoof, but with her legs pinned by Rarity’s iron grip, she only succeeding in drawing the unicorn closer. “But you pounce-hugged me first! If this was a race to embrace, you’d set the pace for first place!”
Rarity nodded, having no other response to give. She supposed she was being terribly rude, but right now it was far too important that she just be here, with this pony. Her hug tightened once more. “Thank you. Your letters were appreciated... even if they were strange, and worrisome. I need you to be more careful with yourself, Pinkie. You would make a lot of ponies very sad if anything happened to you. Just... be careful.” She finally let go of Pinkie, smiling gently. “Well then, now that I have made a fool of myself, shall we go see about that spa treatment?”
Pinkie’s forehead furrowed and she untangled herself from Rarity’s surprisingly strong embrace. Well, she’s smiling, at least, but she’s not smiling here , she thought, reaching out with a hoof to gently trace the small lines that the summer seemed to have etched into the normally flawless area around Rarity’s eyes. Her own smile faltering a little, Pinkie cupped Rarity’s cheek in her hoof. “I know you said you were in those letters, but are you really okay, Rarity?” she asked.
Rarity hesitated at the frank question, wanting to reassure Pinkie. “I...I’m trying to be. That’s all I can say for now.” She wilted under Pinkie’s gaze. “I’ll tell you about it, Pinkie promise. It’s just too much at the moment.” She gave her friend another squeeze. “Right now, I want to spend some time with Pinkie Pie. We can worry about Rarity later on. Is that alright?”
“Well, I hope you mean a Pinkie Pinkie promise, and not Applejack-ride-outta-town-in-a-stagecoach Pinkie promise,” Pinkie said, grinning wryly, “‘cause until you’re happy again, I’m not letting you out of my sight! Or near any coaches.” Pinkie threw a leg around Rarity’s shoulders, squeezing. “In fact, I’m sticking right by your side! Now, let’s get out there and have the time of our lives!”
Rarity nuzzled against Pinkie’s cheek. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, darling.”
“I can’t believe it, Rarity!” Pinkie cried, running in tight circles around the unicorn as she tried in vain to open the spa’s door. “I’ve wanted to go here with you and Fluttershy forever! I mean, like, foreverever! And now, we’re totally going! And I don’t even have to be quiet because Fluttershy’s not here!” Pinkie briefly stopped to fish out two blow ticklers from her pack. Quickly thrusting the first one into Rarity’s mouth, she blew on the other with such force that all four of her hooves briefly lifted from the ground. Then, she was off again, circling Rarity rapidly. To anypony wandering by, Rarity seemed to be caught in a particularly festive pink whirlwind.
‘Caught’ soon became literal as Rarity enwrapped Pinkie in her aura, floating her gently to eye level, which was somewhat difficult as the mare continued to bounce for a few moments despite having nothing to bounce against. She opened her mouth to speak, only to have the blow tickler fall out. She caught it in her aura and put it behind Pinkie’s ear. “Darling, I’m not asking you to treat this like a library, but the spa is a place of relaxation. Ponies go here after a stressful week to let go of their tension. It’s certainly all right to be excited, but you’re up around an eleven; I need you down around a six for a little while. Then when we go to the bar we can really kick up our hooves, all right?”
At Pinkie’s slightly subdued nod, she let her friend back down, smiling happily. “Thank you, darling. I appreciate your enthusiasm, I feel much the same when I come here. I just don’t normally celebrate in quite that way.” Rarity let out a breath she wasn’t aware she’d been holding, She’d have to have a nice talk with her new spa companion about etiquette in the near future. But that was all right. She was home, she was happy to be around her friend, there was a spa here which would not violate her person based on a misunderstanding, and she was going dancing. Things were improving by the minute.
Pinkie’s eyes widened as she entered the luxurious spa. She’d only been here twice before, and only one of them actually counted. The other time had been more of a medical tongue emergency than a day off, and she hadn’t been terribly pleased with soaking her poor tongue in the soapy water. As she turned her head slowly to take in the understated elegance of the place, she suddenly felt underdressed.
“Hey, Rarity,” she whispered, cupping Rarity’s ear with a hoof. “Do you think I should put on a dress or wear a hat or something?” Pinkie tentatively pointed to Aloe, who was artfully reclined on a chaise lounge and working her hooves over with a rasp in the quick, confident strokes of a practiced professional. “Everything here looks so… cultured or something.” Pinkie sat suddenly, cupping her chin in her hoof and squinting her eyes in concentration. “Oh, I know!” she exclaimed, yanking open her saddlebag again. “Just let me find it...”
Aloe’s air of sophistication was temporarily shattered as she goggled at Pinkie, whose leg was plunged impossibly deep into a set of worn saddlebags. Up to her shoulder, the pink pony was in deep concentration, sticking her tongue out between her teeth. Aloe’s mouth dropped open as a dozen or so balloons floated lazily up from the open bag to gather festively in the rafters.
“Oh, where is it?” Pinkie mumbled, frowning. Twisting her body this way and that, she fished deeper into her pack, wincing as a loud clattering sound issued from somewhere within its depths. “Sorry!” she mouthed silently to Aloe, whose mane was bristling out in several directions. “Aha!” Pinkie cried, pulling her leg from the recesses of the old saddlebag. Clutched in her hoof was a construction hard-hat with a large red light mounted on top of it. To each side were metal loops with long, flexible straws connected to them. “Whaddaya think, Rarity?” Pinkie said, proudly thrusting the hat out in front of her. “It’s the hat for every occasion!”
Rarity boggled at the monstrosity in her friend’s hooves. “Where on Equestria did you... nevermind. Let’s save that particular piece of apparel for a better locale.”
“Oh, okay,” Pinkie said, turning her special hat over in her hooves and giving it one final, wistful stare before opening her packs to stow it away once more. “You’re the spa expert, but I’m telling you,” she continued, grinning, “that hat is the best! You can drink two glasses of fruit punch at once and let everypony know the party has started with this siren!” Pinkie gasped, her eyes growing wide as she turned quickly to her friend. “Rarity, I didn’t show you the siren!
Rarity quickly snatched the offending device from Pinkie’s hooves and tucked it back into the infinite depths of the pack from which it emerged. “I think it best we proceed with our treatment. The proper attire for the mud baths is a nice seaweed wrap. If you will follow Aloe here—” She gestured to the spa pony, quickly mouthing ‘I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you,’ “—she will help you. I’ll join you once Lotus finishes preparing me.”
“Sure thing!” Pinkie said, grinning. “I’ll probably look like one of those alfalfa rolls at that sushi place we went to in Canterlot! I’m gonna be yummy! ”
Trotting up to the desk, Pinkie waited patiently as Aloe attempted to retrieve her rasp from beneath the stylish reception counter. The sudden loud noises from Pinkie’s pack had startled her, and she’d accidentally thrown the rasp in her surprise. Flustered, she felt on the ground below her desk with one hoof while she tried to smooth her flyaway mane with the other.
“Just… just a moment...ah, madam,” she said, grimacing. For three years, she’d been greeting customers at this spa and attending to their every need. There was a rhythm to satisfactory customer relations, but she’d been completely thrown off. Finally, she gave up on the rasp and stood, putting on her best Smile of Bliss and Tranquility, which faltered immediately upon seeing the pink pony in front of her rubbing her face up and down the countertop. “Ah, miss, can—”
“Ooh, it’s so smooth! ” Pinkie said, her laughter muffled as she slid her face back and forth across the reception desk’s lacquered wood finish. Aloe jumped slightly as Pinkie suddenly jerked her head back up. “If it were me, I’d slide on this desk all day! Do you do that? Is that why your skin is so smooth?”
Aloe’s eyes darted rapidly right and left, looking for any assistance with this bizarre pony. Why couldn’t this be Lotus’ day at the counter? she thought, sighing heavily as Pinkie stared at her blankly. Clearing her throat, she smiled once more. “Welcome to the Ponyville Day Spa, where you’ll find everything you seek in luxury. Now, what—”
Pinkie’s eyebrows shot up “Wow, everything? ” she asked as a thousand rapid fire images of ermite lined party hats and golden punch bowls filled her imagination. “Okay, what about cake that comes on soft little pillows stuffed with marshmallows? Do you have that?”
Aloe closed her eyes, sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose momentarily. It was one of the benefits and curses of working at the spa; her lifestyle was so healthy that she rarely needed a sick day, and she was really wishing she’d taken one right now. “No, madam, I mean you will find all the things the spa offers,” Aloe said with practiced patience.
Pinkie cocked her head to the side, raising an eyebrow. “Really? What about your rasp? You couldn’t find that.”
Aloe eyes flew open as her tongue tried in vain to grapple with several sentences at once. “That’s not—well, it’s—how did you know—that’s my personal rasp!” she finished, pursing her lips. This is not going well at all, she thought, feeling a headache beginning to build behind her eyes.
“Good thing I found it, then!” Pinkie said, pulling the rasp from her saddlebags. “I guess you are right! You did find what you were looking for!” Pinkie beamed as she slid the rasp back to the flabbergasted pony.
Her hoof trembling slightly, Aloe pulled an aromatherapy candle out of the drawer behind her, lighting it with even, almost ceremonial movements perfected over the course of thousands of visits. It was familiar, and Aloe could feel the tension draining from her shoulders as she took a few deep breaths of the sandalwood-scented smoke that curled toward the ceiling.
“Yes, now let’s help you find joy, as well,” Aloe said, reaching deep within herself to find the tranquility customers had come to expect from her. “Which of our premium services have tempted you this day?”
“Oh, whatever Rarity’s having!” Pinkie replied, pointing back toward the door Rarity had disappeared through. “She’s asked me to ask you which room was ours and for you to make me sushi!”
“I-I’m afraid I don’t follow, madam,” Aloe said, feeling her forehead bunching. Sighing, she promised herself that she’d splurge on an extra-strength anti-wrinkle mask tonight, but first, she’d have to make it through this visit. “It saddens me to disappoint you, but we don’t offer food in the spa.”
“No, no, no, silly-billy!” Pinkie replied, giggling. “You’re supposed to make me into sushi!”
Aloe stood blinking, searching for some sort of context that would help this conversation make any kind of sense at all, or at least shorten it.
“You know, with the seaweed and stuff,” Pinkie prompted after several long seconds of silence.
“Oh!” Aloe said, relieved. “Yes, of course you wish to experience the luxury of our nutrient-rich wrap. Celestia herself has been here for it! If you would, please follow me.”
“Sure!” Pinkie said, bouncing behind the spa employee before pulling up suddenly. “Oh, wait. Rarity asked me to ask you which room was ours.”
“It’s the last room on the right,” Aloe replied, smiling. She was happy that the conversation had finally returned to something resembling normalcy. “You’re lucky, it’s the last one left.”
“Okay, the last one on the left, right?” Pinkie said over her shoulder as she headed to the door Rarity had disappeared into.
Aloe took a moment to replay the conversation in her head, frowning. “No, that’s not right. The right room is the last one left . The last one on the left is occupied, unless he’s left already…” Aloe trailed off, squinting at the ceiling as she tried to remember.
Pinkie sat and tapped a hoof against her cheek, trying to work it out. “So, then what’s left is left, right? Unless right has left, then right?”
“Uh...” Aloe groaned as she tried to follow the twisting patterns of Pinkie’s logic.
“Okay, great!” Pinkie cried, dashing over to the door to Rarity’s private changing suite. As Aloe sputtered behind her, Pinkie opened the door and poked her head in. “Ooh, fancy!” she giggled to herself as she eyed the rack of soft, fluffy robes nearby. “Hey, Rarity! You still in here?”
“Yes, Pinkie.” Rarity’s voice was muffled slightly. She was showering in preparation for her seaweed wrap.
“Okay, well that raspy pony at the front desk said our room is the last one on the left!” Pinkie said as she pulled her head back out of the room. “I’m going over to that sushi counter!”
“Sushi? What—” There was a pause, followed by a tiny giggle. “Right, sushi. Tell them to wrap you up snuggly.”
“Okay!” Pinkie called back as she shut the door and trotted back to Aloe, who was still trying to figure out where this visit had gone wrong, exactly.
“Oh there you are!” Rarity said as she peeked into the third room. She really needed to talk to Aloe about proper accommodations in the future. Granted it was wrong of her to expect her private room to remain private on an impromptu visit, but surely that could be changed now that she planned to come on a new day. Pinkie appeared to have taken her suggestion to heart and gotten the wrap, though it seemed she may have gotten overzealous, as she was covered in it entirely. It was all the way to the dome of her head, for Celestia’s sake! Still, she seemed relaxed at least. “There we are, that’s what I meant, just let yourself breathe and lay back for a bit. It can’t be good for a pony to be in constant motion, I think you’ll find this to be ever so soothing for a change.”
Rarity eased herself into the mud, letting out little coos as the surface shaped itself to her form. Three months away from this was far too long. Securely enfolded in the herbal mud, she let out a sigh of relief. “Oh goddesses! I needed this so badly. How are you doing over there, Pinkie?”
A confused and very muffled voice came back to her.
“That’s good, just let the bath embrace you.” Her heart plummeted for a moment at the word ‘embrace’, and she stifled a sniffle irritably.
Another muffled response came back from Pinkie.
“Hmmm?” Rarity angrily scrubbed a nearby sponge over her eyes to avoid any telltale tear tracks. “Oh, sorry. I’m fine, just... It’s been a long summer, Pinkie. I’m very glad it’s over.”
Pinkie appeared to be getting upset, and even more confused.
“Shhhh. Darling, it’s quite all right I assure you. It’s nothing I haven’t been through before. I... told somepony something I shouldn’t have, and it damaged a longstanding friendship. I’ve since apologized, and hopefully all will be well in time.” She put on a brave smile for Pinkie. “I will tell you about it. It’s just another little failure in a long line of failures. This one just hurt more, but in the end, it was not really much different.” Rarity let out a long, sad sigh. “You think you know somepony, you seek out a deeper connection, and they tear your heart to pieces. Ce la vie. ”
Pinkie tottered down the hall, enjoying the creaking sound her legs made as the seaweed stretched and contracted. I sound like my squeaky rubber chicken! she thought, snickering. I wonder how many different funny noises I can make with this stuff!
Switching her stride to alternate her left and right legs together, she giggled as the pitch changed. Nodding her head back to laugh, she found that the motion added a third tone. Soon, Pinkie was skipping down the hall, accompanied by a squeaky-seaweed version of her welcome song. Wait until Rarity hears this! She’s gonna love it! she thought. Well, here I am! Pinkie grasped the polished steel door’s handle and yanked it open.
“Rarity, listen to—” Pinkie began before pulling up short and pointing a musically squeaky hoof at a pony so completely mummified in seaweed that they were unrecognizable. “Hey, who’s your friend? Was I supposed to bring somepony else, too?”
Rarity had covered her eyes with cucumber slices by this point, and perked her ears up at the entrance of an unknown pony. “Oh, errr, hello there. My companion is a bit wrapped up right now. This is one of my very best friends. You’d likely recognize her better had she not been quite so enthusiastic about the seaweed. This is Pinkie Pie. Pinkie, this is... “ She frowned, realizing she was missing something critical. “I’m sorry, who is at the door right now?”
Pinkie’s brow furrowed in C minor. “Wait, if she’s Pinkie Pie, then who am I? ” Pinkie gasped and brought a hoof up to cover her mouth. “I’m not one of those mirror Pinkies, am I? Rarity, do I look clone-ish to you? Do I give you a clone-y vibe?” Letting out a cacophony of squeaks, Pinkie began to run in place, fretting “Oh! Oh, no! What if Twilight shoots me?!”
“Twilight would never shoot you! You are nothing like those... things. ” Rarity lifted a cucumber slice in agitation, trying to make sense of her friend’s outburst. She looked at the pony wrapped in seaweed next to her, then did a double take as she saw Pinkie in the doorway. “What? But if you are there...” A look of dawning horror fell on her face. “Who is here in the bath with me?!”
“Well, let’s just see, huh?” Pinkie said, her voice adopting a tough edge. With her jaw jutting forward, Pinkie’s seaweed squeaked out a dramatic tune as she stomped over to the mysterious pony. As she loomed over the figure, it mumbled excitedly through the seaweed. “Who’s the pernicious Pinkie Pie pretender putting one over on my pal?”
In one swift motion, Pinkie firmly grabbed the seaweed at the figure’s crown and pulled. With a wet rip, it came away, and an elderly pony blinked up at her, scowling.
“Why, it was Mr. Waddle all along!” she gasped, needlessly pointing the aged pony out to Rarity. “What are you doing in there, Mr. Waddle?”
Mr. Waddle’s scowl deepened and he rose slowly from the mud bath with a disgusted sigh. “I was trying to have a relaxing day, and I’d have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you meddling fillies!” Snatching his towel from a nearby rack, he gave them both one last dirty look before wrenching the door open and exiting.
Pinkie winced as he slammed the door. “What’s his problem?” she asked, shrugging at Rarity.
Rarity stared at the retreating form of the aged stallion, before turning back to Pinkie. “But you—and he... it was him? What?!” She held her gaze on Pinkie, as if letting her friend out of her sight might result in Pinkie becoming somepony else. “Please tell me you’re not a changeling. Please? I don’t think I’m quite strong enough to deal with any more disappointments.”
“A changeling?” Pinkie said, grimacing. “I sure hope not! I think my legs would get cold with all those holes!” Pinkie smirked, eyeing the large pool of mud. “But I am about to change into a…” Pinkie leapt high into the air, curling her body into an impossibly tight sphere. “CANNONBALL!” she finished, with a ululating cry, but hung in mid-air as Rarity’s horrified expression caught her eye. “Oh, right!” Pinkie giggled, drifting slowly back to the floor. “Spa. Calm and serene. Quiet and relaxing.”
Rarity continued to stare at her for a moment, finally exhaling the breath she had been holding. “Y-yes. Quiet and relaxing. Thank you.”
Pinkie carefully dipped a hoof into the thick mud before breaking into a huge grin. “I didn’t think it’d be so warm , Rarity!” she said, letting her body slide into the bath. “This must be how a brownie feels when it’s cooking,” she sighed.
Calming down at last, Rarity’s mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “Warm, a little gooey, and your mind thinks brownies? I would have compared it to oatmeal.”
“You know, Rarity, I think this bath is missing something,” Pinkie said, thrusting a hoof into the poofy tangles of her curly hair. Sticking her tongue out between her teeth, she rummaged for a moment before pulling out a small rubber duck with a stethoscope. “A-ha!” she cried. “It’s just not bathtime without Dr. Quackers!” The duck gave two squeaks as Pinkie squeezed it before dropping in the mud. “Here comes Dr. Quackers!” Pinkie said, pushing the duck in front of her as she wiggled across the bath to Rarity. “He heard that you feel bad after your fowl summer, and he’s here to cure your terrible mallard-y!” Cupping a hoof to Rarity’s ear, Pinkie whispered, “Don’t worry, he won’t bill you.”
Rarity’s expression dropped again, and she pointedly looked away. “Don’t make fun! Not you, please. None of the others seemed to really understand how this impacted me. I don’t know if this is some misguided attempt to get me to open up to a rubber duck, but I don’t appreciate it! Just... have a care.”
Caught off guard, Pinkie looked away, her eyes welling as she pushed the duck back and forth in the viscous mud. “I-I’m sorry,” she said with a sniff. “I was just hoping he’d make you feel better. You see, when I’m sad, I take a bath with Dr. Quackers and I tell him what’s wrong. He never says, ‘Pinkie, that’s silly’ or ‘Pinkie, stop being ridiculous’. He just listens.” Sighing, Pinkie rubbed the mud from her duck and place him back in her hair. “I’d never make fun of you, Rarity,” she said after a lengthy pause. “I-I know what it’s like when people don’t take you seriously. They don’t listen. They don’t listen to me, anyway,” she continued in a small voice.
Rarity’s head whipped back, alarmed. “Darling? Pinkie I didn’t mean—Not you too! Please, no! I didn’t mean to offend you. I-it’s fine, I will talk to the duck, just don’t be sad because of me?”
Pinkie wrapped her legs around Rarity, leaning her head against her friend's shoulder. “Oh, Rarity,” she sighed. “You invited me to a super fun spa to hang out for the day. Most of me is so happy that I could just burst! But part of me, maybe the ‘k’ or the ‘n’, knows you’re still sad. I just wish you were having as much fun as I am.”
Rarity returned the hug, burying her muzzle in Pinkie’s mane. Somehow, despite the mud and seaweed, all she could smell was vanilla. “I’m trying. I want to be.” She pulled back, putting on the best smile she could muster. “Don’t mind me so much, darling. I will be happy again, I’ve just been dealt a few too many heart wounds of late.”
“Well, don’t you worry!” Pinkie said, perking up. “We’ve got a night of shaking our tails in front of us! We can boogie until we fall down! And when we fall down, we’ll start laughing! And when we’re laughing, we’ll probably start hiccuping or something, and we’ll need to take a break and drink some chocolate milk, but I’ll try and make it the best night, I Pinkie Promise! But first, we’ve got to get you nice and relaxed!” Pinkie gathered up a huge legful of mud, dropping it over the area above Rarity’s submerged body. Smoothing the mound with her hooves, she sculpted into a rough copy of Carousel Boutique. “And the more mud, the better, right?” Pinkie said, grinning.
Rarity nodded hurriedly. “Just be happy, darling. Don’t let me spoil your good time. I’ll do my best to follow your example.”
Pinkie poked her head cautiously into the darkened entryway as Rarity held the door for her. She’d planned on taking Rarity here to the bar ever since she’d received her letter, but now that she’d arrived, she felt nervous. Slowly scanning the room, she was surprised to see how… normal it all seemed. “Rarity, are you sure this is the right place?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow at her friend. “Mr Cake always said I wouldn’t like it here and that I should just stay away from places like this.” Pinkie swung her hoof in a wide arc, motioning toward the entire bar at once. “But this just looks like ponies talking and having a good time!” She looked over to Rarity, her brow furrowing. “What gives?”
Rarity considered for a moment before answering. “Pinkie... a bar is neither a good or bad place by itself. I think I agree that maybe it’s best you not come here by yourself, but with a friend you’ll have a good time.”
Stepping inside, Pinkie’s heart began to race. Even though Rarity had said it was okay, she still felt like she was doing something wrong. I-I don’t get it. Maybe Mr. Cake got the wrong idea about this place, she thought, nodding, a smile spreading across her face. Rarity wouldn’t want us to go to a bad place. Mr. Cake probably just came in when the owner was grumpy or something! Happy to have resolved things, Pinkie put an extra spring in her step as she trotted behind her friend.
Rarity led them inside, finding a table to settle them both. She returned her attention to Pinkie. “See? It’s not inherently evil, as it were. Why, look over there,” she said, gesturing. Off in the corner was Cheerilee, grading papers and occasionally taking a shot. “Quite a few of our friends come here after work to relax and unwind.” She waved a hoof at the nearest drink waitress. “A mudslide for my friend, please. I’ll give you my order momentarily.” In short order, a very chocolatey drink was plopped down on the table in front of Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie rested her chin on the worn wooden table, her huge eyes just inches away from the frosty glass. “So this a mudslide, huh?” she asked, swiveling her ears toward Rarity without breaking her gaze. Pinkie was captivated by the gently twisting eddies the different liquids made within the glass. “It looks so swirl-y and chocolate-y and yummerific, and it smells way better than that tackilla stuff in Fort Troterdale!”
Rarity snorted in amusement. “Tequila can be a fine drink, but it’s very harsh to drink unadorned. A “Strawberry Margarita” is quite good, for instance.” She paused briefly, motioning to their drink waitress. “One Strawberry Margarita, please.” She turned back to Pinkie. "You kept mentioning chocolate milk, so I thought you might enjoy this. It’s a heavy cream-based drink. Very sweet.”
“Okay, I know how to do this!” Pinkie said, standing and placing her front hooves on either side of the glass. Opening her mouth wide, she lowered her head to the glass, snatching it up with her lips. Tipping her head back until she faced the ceiling, she drained the cup with one loud gulp, then slammed it rather forcibly back to the tabletop, all without using her hooves. “How was that?” she asked with a wink.
Rarity blinked, taken aback at the display. “Um... while impressive, that’s not quite the way one enjoys a mixed drink. You see, they are made to taste pleasant.”
“Well, that’s how all the ponies in Fort Troterdale were doing it, but their glasses were those itty-bitty ones! Guess I’m a quick study, huh?” Pinkie eyes slide out of focus, and she stumbled for a brief second before she gripped the table tightly. “That glash wash pretty biii… uh, wash pretty… pretty…” Pinkie reached it to stroke Rarity’s meticulously coifed hair, but missed by several inches. “Rarity, your mane’sh alwaysh sho pretty…”
“Yes well, yours is nice too, thank you,” Rarity said, deftly casting a plane of force to help push her friend upright. She called the drink waitress over once more. “Another mudslide, please, but lets cut the Irish cream in favor of real cream. Oh, and if you would be a dear and ask the bartender to make my next Margarita a double shot? Thank you.” Rarity looked back at Pinkie, who appeared to be conducting her own personal orchestra. They chatted for a time, Pinkie going through two more of the mudslides, though by her reaction she seemed to think they were like her first. Rarity downed a few more margaritas she barely felt, eventually deciding the drinks weren’t helping. She had come here to dance and have fun, hadn’t she? “Well, my darling, shall we dance?”
Pinkie leaned forward unsteadily, alternately squinting at Rarity, and opening her eyes wide to blink. “But I left... all my sheaweed... back at the shpa,” she said, waving vaguely in the opposite direction they’d come from. “I can’t... play ush any mushic!” Perking up, Pinkie thrust a hoof into the air. “I know!” she exclaimed, beginning to slowly fall backwards. “I can shing for ush!”
“Well, that would be lovely, but there is a nice jukebox right behind you.” Rarity brought out a few bits and laid them on the table. “Why not pick a few songs for us to dance to?”
Pinkie’s eyes widened as she noticed the jukebox for the first time. Its neon lights were cycling through several pre-programmed sequences, and they were like a visual siren’s song, calling for her to come take a closer look. “I wanna... danshe more than anything, Rarity!” Pinkie said, slurring a little. “Jusht let me put on some mushic!”
Carving a weaving, wobbly path to the bar’s jukebox, Pinkie narrowly avoided ponies in various states of inebriation. As she stumbled by, she inadvertently slipped between several couples, earning a few stares and frowns, but she beamed at a rugged pegasus stallion who whistled as she stumbled by. Smiling, he turned to follow her.
Rarity’s eyes narrowed as she watched him. Was she really going to have to watch Pinkie being hit on? Yes, you will watch, and hope it goes well. Don’t be selfish. Rarity nodded sadly. Just because she had no luck with love should not mean she should begrudge any of her friends. Still, I can keep an eye out for her. No harm in that.
Pinkie placed her front hooves on the jukebox’s glass surface, enjoying its cool, smooth exterior. “Ooh, it’sh sho pretty! ” she said, pressing her face against the glass to get a better look at the lights.
“It’s not the only one, babe,” drawled a voice beside her. Turning, Pinkie stared up at the stallion, who was leaning on the wall beside the jukebox. “You new here? I haven’t seen you around before.” He leaned in, placing his hoof on her shoulder. “What’s your name, cutie?” he asked, stroking the hair near her ear with his other hoof.
“I’m not new,” Pinkie said, her forehead furrowing slightly as she flicked her eyes up to the hoof hoovering near her ear. “I’m Pinkie Pie, and I’ve... lived in Ponyville for yearsh! I’ve just been… away for the shummer!”
“Well, that explains it!” the stallion said, sliding his hoof from Pinkie’s shoulder to her back. “I just moved here in June,” he leaned over, whispering into Pinkie’s ear, “I knew I couldn’t have seen you around before. I’d never forget such a beautiful face. I’m Slipstream.”
“Pffft! Beautful?” Pinkie snickered, pointed a hoof toward where Rarity was sitting. “She’sh the beautiful one! It’sh nishe to meet you!” she continued, pulling Slipstream’s hoof from her back and shaking it vigorously.
“Ooh, that’s quite a grip!” Slipstream said, comically massaging his hoof before grasping Pinkie’s elbow. “Come on, what’s say we get a drink, huh?” Pinkie stumbled as he began to pull her toward the bar. “You look like a pony who knows how to party! Let’s celebrate you coming home, eh?”
“Hey, hold on—where are we going?” Pinkie said, tripping briefly as she tried to keep pace. “You’re squeezing too tight!” Pinkie backpedalled and attempted to wrench her leg from Slipstream’s iron grip. “Let me go! I’m supposed to be dancing with my friend!”
“Aw, don’t be a drag, babe,” Slipstream said, yanking Pinkie off balance again. “She’ll be alright for a while.” Pinkie had time to shoot Rarity a frightened look before Slipstream pulled her behind the half wall partition that separated the tables from the bar proper.
Oh, no you don’t! You do not carry a lady off bodily. Rarity got up and stormed her way over to the offending colt. Spinning him around, she smacked him with the backside of her hoof. “I believe the lady indicated she was already accompanied,” she said coldly as she took Pinkie’s hoof in her own. “Come now, I believe somepony owes me a dance, love.”
Rubbing his cheek gingerly, Slipstream shook his head, trying to get his eyes to straighten. He looked up, ready to give as good as he’d gotten, when he saw the mare that this pink pony had pointed to earlier. He eyed the two mares with renewed interest. “Hey there, darling. I didn’t realize she had a marefriend. Did you two want some company tonight?”
Rarity tossed a look at him, quite scandalized. “We’re not...” She stopped, reconsidering. If she went along with his assumptions it might get him to back off peacefully. “I mean, she is with me, and we’re rather exclusive.” She smiled dazzlingly. “Still, plenty of other fish in the sea, this one is mine , understand?”
Pinkie gasped, her eyes opening wide as she turned to Rarity. “I’m… your fi—” she began before Slipstream pushed her aside. Grinning, he stepped in close to Rarity, attempting to force her back into the half wall.
Slipstream chortled heartily. “How ‘bout we hoofwrassle for her?”
Rarity’s mouthed the word ‘hoofwrassle’ silently, her anger boiling over. She’d just spent three months trying very hard not to be angry at an infuriatingly noncommunicative friend, and now stood before a far more infuriating stallion who apparently really wanted to be hit. So, she obliged him, decking him swiftly with a brutal right hook.
Slipstream folded like house of cards in a hurricane. A nearby bouncer, who had been watching the scene but had been too slow to break it up, quickly motioned for another employee to tend to the fallen pegasus.
Pinkie’s mouth worked wordlessly as her huge eyes swiveled from Rarity to Slipstream and back to her friend again. “Wow, you hit him, Rarity!” she said, her awed voice full of disbelief. Looking down, she rubbed her throbbing elbow. “He did squeeze me too tight, I guess…”
“He dragged you off without your consent, is what he did. Idiot stallions... Why on earth would that ever be considered acceptable behavior?” Rarity turned to Pinkie, looking her over. “I’m sorry you had to see that. Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Pinkie said, stealing a quick look to the door through which Slipstream had disappeared. “I just… it’s...” Pinkie eyes began to shimmer as she inspected her elbow. A dark bruise from Slipstream’s grip was beginning to form there. “Rarity, he dragged me, and I was being nice and everything!” Pinkie dropped her gaze and rubbed one of her forelegs against the other. “Rarity,” she asked hesitantly, “Am… am I really your fish?”
Rarity sputtered, resulting in a coughing fit. When her breathing returned to normal, she smiled shakily. “Um... sorry, I suppose that was a bit possessive of me. You are nopony’s fish but your own, certainly not his , ” she seethed, her eyes flashing dangerously.
“Oh,” Pinkie replied, lowering her ears with a little sigh. “Well, whoever’s fish I am, I’m glad you’re here with me with me.” Pinkie snorted out a laugh suddenly. “How come I’m the damsel in distress and you’re the knight, Rarity?” she asked. “You’re the one who looks like a princess!”
Rarity smiled hesitantly, cursing herself for handling the overeager stallion so badly. “Flatterer. Well, enough about him. You owe me some dancing. Go pick us a song!”
“Yeah! C’mon, Rarity!” Pinkie said, the sparkle returning to her eyes. “Let’s dance!” Bouncing merrily back to the jukebox, Pinkie slid a few bits in and punched buttons at random. As a strong bassline began thumping from the speakers, Pinkie’s body swayed back and forth in time. Skipping out to the middle of the dance floor, she rotated her shoulders and neck in swift, tight circles, limbering up. It had been a little while since she’d really been on a dance floor and she didn’t want to ruin Rarity’s night by pulling something.
Oh, it’s been forever since I really got down, and it’s been even longer than that since I danced with somepony else! Pinkie thought, her pulse quickening, matching the song’s beat. Dancing was on Pinkie’s short list of most fun activities ever, and she was ready to really let it all out tonight.
Taking a deep breath, she exploded into motion. Spinning on her rear hoof, she threw her front legs wide and arched her head back, soaking in the pounding rhythm. Welcoming it, she let the beat guide her through several complex step sequences.
The ponies nearby quickly made room, leaving Pinkie spotlighted in the middle of the floor. Pirouetting, she laughed, her face flushing with exertion. Spotting a glass of water on a vacated table, she strutted to it, making sure to stay carefully on beat. Arching her face toward the ceiling, she poured the water down onto her forehead, cooling herself and letting the water absorb into her curly, sponge-like mane. Twisting and whirling her way back to the spotlighted center of the floor, she gave her head an artful toss, sending a fine, prismatic spray of water into the air. As the droplets fell around her, they caught the light, enveloping Pinkie in a dazzling, shimmering cloud. “Well, what are you waiting for?” she asked, grinning at Rarity over her shoulder as the crowd burst into applause. “Come dance with me!”
“Just a moment, darling!” Rarity said as she drank the last of her margarita, relishing the chill as it slid down her throat and the warmth as it hit her stomach. She got up and strode onto the floor, doing her best to ignore their impromptu audience. She was accustomed to the slow movements of the ballroom dances, but with Pinkie there wasn't really any space for that, and this was clearly the wrong music. So she decided to 'wing it' as Dash would say. She stepped forward and was immediately swept off her hooves by her partner. She tried a pirouet and stumbled, only to be caught and pulled into a dual spin by Pinkie. She found herself laughing and threw back her mane which was sagging with sweat. As the song came to a close, Pinkie ran at her, full tilt. Wait... she can’t be...
“Rarity, catch me!”
Pinkie jumped up in a dazzling leap, leaving Rarity no choice but to stretch her hooves up, cushioning her friend’s fall in a combination of magic and upper body strength. The onlookers cheered, and Rarity and Pinkie looked at each other, each smiling and gasping a little at the exertion.
The next song started playing, and Rarity’s ears flicked in the direction of the jukebox. “Darling? Is there some reason you chose the tango?”
“I just chose stuff with cool sounding names,” Pinkie said, shrugging.
“So, you don’t know the steps, then?” Rarity frowned when Pinkie shook her head. “Oh dear, well, we could always sit this one out,” she replied reluctantly.
“What?! ” Pinkie cried. “We just got out here! No way I’m leaving now!” Kicking her hooves out much more slowly, Pinkie began experimenting with the new rhythm. “Oof! It’s really hard to keep your balance when the music’s all slow like this,” she said, stumbling through a slow motion spin.
Rarity clucked her tongue anxiously. She drew Pinkie to her, placing her friend’s hooves in the appropriate positions. “No help for it then. Watch my hooves. We’ll take the first steps together.” She cast her eyes around the room, looking for a flower, finally finding a vase of dethorned roses off to one side of the room. She levitated one of them to her. “Clutch this in your teeth, do not eat it,” she said as she placed the stem between Pinkie’s teeth. “There we are, now, just follow along.”
Part of Rarity was nervous about this. She knew this dance inside and out, but was not used to leading. As she danced Pinkie deftly across the floor, she thought it horribly amusing that her first opportunity to use this knowledge was not with “Him” nor even with... her, but instead with Pinkie Pie. Which was not to say she wasn’t enjoying herself, she thought as she deftly spun Pinkie around and lead her back across the floor. It just wasn’t what she’d expected.
She leaned in closer to Pinkie, “You’re doing wonderfully, darling. Are you sure you’ve never tangoed before?”
“Uh uh,” Pinkie replied through clenched teeth. She was trying not to drop the rose Rarity had given her, but talking and holding the rose with her teeth was turning out to be a little tricky. “‘is is kinda like ‘ancing an’ ‘ugging at ‘he same ‘ime!”
“Well, you’re a rather quick study! Brace yourself just a moment...” The music dipped in tone and Rarity in turn flung Pinkie away from her, causing a brief look of confusion in her friend’s face, only to catch her hoof and bring her back into position. She guided Pinkie around, dipping her briefly. “Get ready to release the rose,” she murmured, bringing her mouth nearly close enough for a kiss, only to clench the stem in her mouth and pull it away. Odd, is she blushing?
W-we’re so close! Pinkie thought, a little unnerved at the way her heart was racing. Maybe this isn’t like hugging after all. Pinkie let her eyes travel the contours of Rarity’s face. Rarity’s large, half-lidded eyes were gazing at her with… what, exactly? Pinkie looked away, suddenly self-conscious. Why do I feel so hot? It’s only been two songs! Pinkie gaze dropped to the rose in Rarity’s mouth and her mind returned to the way her lips had felt as they had briefly brushed against hers. Unconsciously, Pinkie leaned in close, before jerking her head away. What’s wrong with me? she wondered as she peeked questioningly at Rarity’s horn to see if was glowing. Is this some kind of magic unicorn dance? Pinkie shook her head, attempting to get her emotions back under control. Get it together, Pinkie! This is Rarity’s night, and you’re probably making her feel weird!
Rarity pulled Pinkie back up and twirled her around, bringing her close once more, leaning forward to place the rose back to Pinkie’s mouth and releasing it back into the latter’s grip. “I should have known you’d be a natural. Do you have any idea how hard I studied?” She sighed in chagrin, and no small amount of envy. “Big finish coming, let’s wow them!”
Rarity danced Pinkie side to side, the pink pony never missing a beat or stride. She twirled, and Pinkie spun, every move Rarity made was matched perfectly. As the music drew to a close, Rarity dipped Pinkie lower than ever, and brought her back up in a tight embrace. The crowd around them cheered, and they both gave small bows of acknowledgement before returning to their seats.
Pinkie slid the mudslide she’d left on the table in directly front of her, thankful that the glass was so large. Her face felt like it was on fire and she didn’t want Rarity to know that anything was wrong. Grasping the long, flexible straw in one shaking hoof, she bent it sharply down and began to drain the glass. Mmmm! she thought. As she steadily drained the mudslide, she could feel her mind take a few, careful steps back from the emotional cliff she’d been on. This stuff should be in the wells. Who needs water when you’ve got chocolate?! Timidly, she leaned slightly to the left, and tried to check Rarity’s mood from around the glass. Did she notice? she wondered.
Rarity smiled demurely, motioning for another margarita from their waitress. “Well, now you can say you’ve danced the tango. Thank you, that was wonderful.” Her drink arrived and she took a nice big draught of it.
Pinkie’s ears perked up over the glass. “Really?!” she cried jumping up and leaning over the table. “Oh, Rarity, I loved dancing with you! I—” Pinkie covered her mouth with a hoof as her eyes swiveled slowly from side to side. Oops, she thought. Excited, she’d responded at full volume and everypony in the room now seemed interested in hearing where this was going. Slowly, sitting again, she swallowed hard, and turned back to her friend. “Rarity, that was so fun! ” she whispered. “I can’t wait to dance the tangle with you some more!” Reaching down to grab her saddlebags, she began rummaging through them. “There’s more bits for the jukebox in here somewhere…“ she muttered.
Rarity placed one of her hooves on Pinkie’s, shaking her head. “The tango , darling, and there will be other times, I promise you that. Now, I believe... I made you a promise. I think I’m ready to deliver, if you’re ready to lend me an ear.”
Pinkie let her eyes drop to the tabletop and gave Rarity’s hoof a squeeze. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” she said quietly. “Not even to Dr. Quackers. But if you do want to, I’ll listen as hard as I can! See, watch!” Pinkie closed her eyes and swiveled her ears forward and locked them onto Rarity’s position. Soon they began to turn red, shaking slightly. After a few seconds she released her breath in an explosive gasp and her ears settled down. Looking up again, her eyes moistened, and she blinked rapidly a few times. “I… I’ve been kinda worried, Rarity. I tried to stuff as much fun as I could into those envelopes, but your letters were so sad…” she said, her voice dropping away as she searched for the right words. “It’s been hard,” she finished lamely, shaking her head against the frustration. Why is this so hard? she thought.
Rarity looked away from the intent gaze, unable to meet it. “Sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to do that to you. I should have just explained what was troubling me, but every one of your letters made me concerned for you...” She frowned, shaking her head. “No, that’s unfair. It sounds like I am somehow blaming you for my not being open with you. I’ve told all of the others, begged for their council.” She paused in self reflection. “I think... I was selfishly not telling you because I was more interested in your travels than my own troubles; while I was reading your letters, I could forget, for a time. They made me smile.”
“They did?!” Pinkie asked, beaming.
“Yes, they did—” Rarity said, returning the smile. “—but I was serious about worrying about you!” She finished, her expression growing pained.
“Huh?” Pinkie said, cocking an eyebrow. “Me? But you said my letters made you smile!”
“Yes, but you also worried me with one of them.” Rarity stopped, thinking of one in particular which lead her to believe Pinkie was imbibing unmarked potions which were giving her hallucinations. “Well, a couple of them, but I think I was just misunderstanding what was going on.”
She turned back to Pinkie, meeting her gaze once more. “The world has a serious lack of Pinkie Pies, and you were running around risking yourself as if you came in six packs! I’m happy you had fun but... well that idiot who tried to cart you off to his hotel, you seemed to have no idea what he was taking you there for. You could have been...” She stopped, realizing her breathing had gone ragged. “You weren’t. But it could have gone so badly!”
“Oh, you mean Frat Rush?” Pinkie said, waving a hoof dismissively. “He seemed pretty okay to me. Just a little wobbly and bobbly and sleepy. Oh, and he was sorta hard to understand. He sounded like his mouth was full of snow. Kinda… slushy, ya know? He said he just wanted to show me a good place to stay for the night, but he fell asleep on the way.” Pinkie giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof. “He fell in the bushes, and he was too heavy to move, so I just put newspapers on him in case it got cold!”
Rarity snorted in derision. “Oh yes, he would have shown you a good place to stay, his own hotel room. He would have brought you in, offered you a few more drinks, then suggested you come sleep on the bed. In short order he would have shown you a fun game for two ponies, which involved him mounting you. In the morning, he might have even made you breakfast.”
Pinkie gasped, blushing furiously. “Rarity, I don’t think—but, he—um…” she said, her heartbeats pounding in her ears. Pinkie’s brow furrowed and she looked down at her hooves. “But, maybe he was just being nice, Rarity! Twilight said I shouldn’t judge ponies, even though I was right about Gilda…” Pinkie sat silently for a few moments. “He seemed nice,” she continued in a small voice.
Rarity looked at her sadly, realizing she was quite possibly making the world a little darker for Pinkie with this revelation. “I’m sure he was a nice pony, I’m sure he thought he was being very nice by offering to bring you home for some fun. But that’s the point, darling. What he wanted... it can be very fun, but he likely thought you following meant you knew what he wanted. Your night could have gone a few ways. You might have fought him off, you might have just done what he asked, and had fun anyway. But the chances are very good you would have woken up feeling... broken, and disillusioned.” She took in a shuddering breath. “I... love that happiness you exude, if that light were to disappear...”
Pinkie’s eyes began to fill and she squeezed Rarity’s hoof with her own. “S-so I m-made you write sad letters because I w-wasn’t being c-c-careful enough?” Pinkie said, her voice hitching. She reached over with her free hoof, taking Rarity’s in both of hers. “I’m s-so, so sorry, Rarity! I didn’t mean to ruin your summer!”
Rarity’s eyes widened as she realized she had been completely misunderstood. She rushed around the table, pulling a chair next to Pinkie and enfolding her in a tight embrace. “Darling, no! You were a bright light of joy that helped me remember that happiness still existed in this dark and dreary world! I was worried because the idea of you being hurt in any way might very well have been the end for me. I... screwed up so badly, Pinkie. I may well have ruined a friendship forever, because I can’t keep my big mouth shut. Or, my horn writing, I suppose. You... helped me realize that I still had reason to want to go on.”
“I did?” Pinkie asked in a quavering voice. Grabbing a nearby napkin, she wiped the corner of her eye with it. “So I didn’t mess up your summer?”
“No, darling. I did. I may well have messed up my whole life. All you did was worry me, and even that was selfish of me. I was worried for you because you were... the pony I most wanted to see. I needed you to be well, and happy, so you could help pull me from this dark well that my life has become. Because I am too stupid to consider what the consequences might be for my actions.” Rarity touched her glass, her eyes wet with tears. “This, the contents of this glass, made me idiotic enough to ruin everything.”
“You’re not stupid!” Pinkie said indignantly. “You’re one of the smartest ponies I know. I mean, maybe not Twilight, can-write-a-super-duper-hard-to-understand-research-paper kind of smart, but you always know which fork is the right one, or which shoes look good with the hat. You never start up the music at a party and have all the ponies look at you with these weird looks on their faces just because it’s polka!” Pinkie leaned forward, inches from Rarity’s face. “Rarity, you’re smart about stuff that I can’t even understand at all!”
Pinkie clutched Rarity’s hoof tightly. “But, Rarity, what happened? You’re sad, Fluttershy hasn’t written to me since the middle of summer, and Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash are… I don’t even know what! They won’t tell me what’s going on, either!” Pinkie eyes fell away from Rarity’s, and she slowly scanned the bar as if the answers that she sought were hidden in the darkened corners. “Something happened to you all this summer, but I’m the only one who doesn’t know...” Pinkie’s voice trailed off, and the flame from the single candle on the table between the two ponies shimmered and danced in Pinkie’s overly bright eyes. “I just wanna help, but it feels like secrets and lies all over again,” she said, almost too quietly for Rarity to hear.
Rarity gave Pinkie another little squeeze. “You don’t have to worry about Twilight, Rainbow, or Applejack at least. Their worst problem is that Twilight might have to pass a new law allowing them to get married. I’m sure they’ll be very happy.”
“What?! Married?! ” Pinkie gasped, nearly losing her eyebrows as they shot up into her hairline. “You mean like, to each other?! At the same time?!”
Rarity nodded, primly. “It seems a little distance made hearts grow fonder.” She put her head down on Pinkie’s shoulder and sighed, dreamily. “I quite envy them, you know?. The way Rainbow put it, I am shocked their letters didn’t set their mailboxes on fire. Applejack asked me to look into solutions for marrying multiple ponies. I couldn’t find many precedents. But then, if a princess wants something, I imagine it will happen.”
“But you haven’t even been home yet!” Pinkie said, leaning her head gently against Rarity’s plush mane. “Your mailbox is probably full of letters from secret admirers and stuff! No pony’s as pretty as you,” she sighed. “All I got was a bunch of catalogues from party supply stores, and an invitation from Cranky to help plan his anniversary party.”
Pinkie sat in silence for a moment before swallowing hard. “Rarity,” she whispered. “Can… can I tell you a secret?”
“Your secret is safe, darling. Cross my heart.”
“I got lots of letters this summer,” Pinkie said with a slight tremor in her voice. “Letters from my friends, who I missed more than anything. And do you know what they all said?” Pinkie stopped to clear her throat for a moment, then took a deep, shuddering breath. “They said, ‘Pinkie, we can’t wait to come back to Ponyville for one of your Pinkie Parties.’ It wasn’t ‘I miss you, Pinkie’ or ‘walks into town aren’t as fun without you, Pinkie’. It was just about parties, just like my letter from Cranky.” Pinkie turned slowly, her hooves shaking as she tightened her grip in Rarity’s. “Except your letters, Rarity,” Pinkie said, “You said you wanted to see me! ” Pinkie suddenly burst into tears, burying her face into Rarity’s chest. “A-and… and it… I… it m-meant so much to me!”
“Oh,” was all Rarity could say, at first. “Oh, Pinkie, it’s not that they didn’t miss you! I missed all of you, terribly. I’m sure they missed you, as well. It’s just... you went out traveling for supplies for the best party ever, and we all want to support you in that.” Rarity hugged her friend a little tighter, wishing she could just take this sadness of Pinkie’s into herself. She’d gotten quite used to her own by now. “Applejack has her farm, Twilight is a princess. Rainbow is...” she hesitated. “Well, she was training to be a Wonderbolt. Fluttershy cares for animals. You and I?” She laughed a little sadly. “We make ‘frivolous things.’ You make parties and baked goods, things enjoyed once, then gone without a trace. I make dresses ponies wear once for an event, then store them in a closet. It can be hard for ponies who don’t share our passion to understand. But they try, even if it’s only by voicing their approval.” She nuzzled her friend gently. “When they say they look forward to your party, they very much mean they want to see you.”
“I know, I know,” Pinkie said, wiping her cheek with the back of her hoof. “But it’s kinda not the same. I didn’t say ‘Applejack, I can’t wait for you to get back so you can bake me a pie’.” Pinkie sniffed, turning away as her ears reddened. “I’m sorry, Rarity. I keep trying to make you feel better, but I’m messing it all up.” Taking a glass of water from the passing waitress, she draining it in three long pulls. “I know they want to see me. I really do,” she said, giving her friend a sad smile as she rolled the glass back and forth between her hooves. “But it just kinda sounded like all that they missed about me were my parties.”
There was a long silence as Rarity drunk in this revelation. She wanted to deny it, wanted so badly to say it was untrue for any of them, including herself. She thought back to why she had wanted so badly to see Pinkie, and realized her motives were much the same. She needed Pinkie. She looked forward to seeing her, but it was for herself, not for Pinkie. “I’m sorry," she said hesitantly. “I did miss you, but it was for... selfish reasons. I... wanted to hear those stories in person, I wanted to laugh with you, perhaps even sing with you,” Rarity admitted, feeling wretched that her intentions were so horribly self-centered. “I wish I could say it was altruistic, but I was selfish in wanting to see you. Now I see I am laying my burdens at your hooves, instead of being a good friend to you.” She shook her head sadly, tears in her eyes. “I’m horrible!”
“No, Rarity!” Pinkie said, slamming her glass down on the table hard enough to make several of the nearby patrons jump. “That’s what I keep trying to tell you! I want to know what’s wrong and maybe fix it if I can because you’re the pony that means the most to me!” She turned, grabbing Rarity’s shoulders in both hooves. “Something’s bothering you, and I’d be the horriblerest one here if I didn’t do whatever I could about it!” Leaning in, she closed her eyes and delicately placed her forehead against Rarity’s. “You’re not a good friend, Rarity,” she whispered, giving Rarity the gentlest of nuzzles. “You’re my best friend.”
Rarity started at that, feeling her will crumble and break. The tears fell freely, now. “Thank you. I have a severe lack of best friends right now; that position was vacated very recently. I will be glad to call you mine, as well.”
“Vacated?” Pinkie said, pulling back to look into Rarity’s eyes. “What do you mean?” Pinkie paused, gasping. “Did something happen to Fluttershy?! Is that why the letters stopped?!” Pinkie swallowed hard, gripping Rarity tightly. “She’s not…” she said, unable to bring herself to say it.
Rarity sobbed loudly. “I happened to her!” She slammed a hoof down on the table angrily. “Twilight, Rainbow and Applejack weren’t the only ones who wrote to somepony to make a confession, but mine... she... she must have felt sorry for me. I bet she pitied me like one of her animals. I should have known better!”
“Oh, Rarity,” Pinkie sighed, tracing her hoof beneath the unicorn’s eyes to catch her tears. “You know Fluttershy. She’s… well. She’s afraid of stuff. You’re the prettiest pony that I know and she was probably really scared that she wasn’t good enough or something.” Pinkie touched the corner of Rarity’s mouth, hoping for a smile. “Everywhere we go, ponies fall all over themselves over you! We all see it. You’re something really special, even if Fluttershy’s too scared to take it!”
“You don’t understand... She said yes! I asked her to... c-come over for some wine and... I was hitting on her. But she doesn’t even... Fluttershy doesn’t like mares that way. She just said it because she felt sorry for me, and I made an ass of myself planning out dates. Then I found out from Rainbow that she doesn’t... That was two months ago, Pinkie. She never mailed back.” Rarity loudly stifled a sob. “I r-ruined everything because I couldn’t just keep a secret, I don’t know if she’ll ever speak to me again.”
Pinkie drew Rarity into a tight embrace. “So that’s what happened,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “Rarity, why didn’t you tell me? I would have come up to see you instead of looking for all those fake parties that didn’t exist in Fort Troterdale!” Pinkie patted Rarity’s back gently, hoping it was a comfort to her friend as she cried. “It’ll all work out, you’ll see. Fluttershy wouldn’t hate you because you told her that she’s special to you. That pony just doesn’t know what she’s missing!”
The unicorn sniffled sadly. “I wish she hated me; at least then I could be angry with her. At least then we could have a nice little fight and get past it. She just... never wrote back.”
Pinkie released her friend, but kept Rarity lightly encircled with her hooves, allowing them to rest in the small of Rarity’s back. “If… if you want,” Pinkie said, hesitantly, “you don’t have to waste those plans… I think I know a pony who’d want to go on a date with you.” Pinkie looked away, turning a deep scarlet.
Rarity stiffened, unsure how to respond. “Um... darling, I... I think I may be misunderstanding you. Did you just...”
“You said I was your fish right before you hit Slipstream,” Pinkie said, fidgeting, her face filled with equal parts yearning and fear. “I-I’ve always wanted to be somepony’s fish. Maybe I… could be your fish?”
Rarity opened her mouth, then closed it again. She desperately wanted to say yes, her heart demanded she kiss this wonderful mare and never ever stop; but her mind sung with fear and self doubt. Things like this... didn't happen to her. “Darling, You can't mean that. I... I am grateful, but you shouldn't—can’t do that..."
Pinkie scanned her friend’s shocked face, then released her hooves. “I-I know I’m not the prettiest fish. Or the smartest. Or the fastest. I’m always jumping this way when the rest of the school is swimming that way, and I’m always eating lots and lots of cakes instead of plankton,” she said quietly, her voice breaking. Pinkie blinked rapidly, her eyes dropping to the floor. “But I’d try to be the best fish you’ve ever had!”
Rarity swallowed heavily. "Darling, you are the most adorable, perfect fish, never ever question that!” She reached out to lay a hoof over Pinkie’s shoulder. “It’s not that at all. I...well I had had my ‘pole’ broken, and I had sworn off fishing... and now you’ve jumped into my net, pretty as could be.”
She giggled suddenly, although it sounded more like a half-hysterical sob. “I think maybe we can drop the metaphor. I...I'm not saying no. But..I just let her go, in my heart. If I said yes... I… it's too soon." Rarity wrapped her forelegs around her friend, trying to squeeze out her own fears. "I want to be loved, but not because I am hurting and clinging to you. I love you, I do. Ever so much, in fact. I wonder if I ever really knew how much, until now. But I can't, not yet.” She drew in a deep breath. “But... maybe... maybe I could give you something, for being so brave and wonderful.” She grasped Pinkie’s head, turning it towards her. She leaned forward, swiftly, desperately pressing her lips to Pinkie’s.
Pinkie’s eyes flew wide as she straightened in her seat. For a heartbeat, she was frozen. Then she melted into Rarity, making up what she lacked in experience with enthusiasm. Cupping the back of Rarity’s head with her hoof, she leaned into the kiss hungrily, a tear trickling down her cheek.
Rarity shakily broke the kiss, gasping. “Sweet Sisters…” she said quietly. “Thank you, Pinkie.” Silence reigned, neither mare sure what to say. Rarity finally broke it, hesitantly. “Will you give me some time? I want to spend a lot of time with my best friend.” After a brief pause she added: “And maybe kiss her… when my heart lets me. W-would that be okay?”
“Yeah,” Pinkie said, beaming as she wiped her tear away, “I think everything’s going to be okay as long as we’re together!”
Step Five: A Step In The Right Direction
“She saved me,” Rarity said, as if that explained everything.
Applejack nodded, taking a sip of her whiskey. “Okay.”
“What do you mean, ‘okay’?” Rarity demanded, squinting at her friend over her daiquiri.
“I mean I get it.” Applejack finished the shot, calling for another and gesturing for the bartender to get another daiquiri started. “Feel the same about my girls. Like... everythin’ else’s goin’ sideways, but you’ve got that one little spot of happiness that makes all that stuff seem worth it somehow.”
“That’s… that’s it exactly! My career… my best friend… my life... everything’s just wrong!” Rarity finished the dregs of her drink, nodding politely as a fresh one was set before her. “And there she was, my lifeline. A tiny little candle in a world of darkness, but she burns so brightly!”
Applejack fanned Rarity theatrically with her Stetson. “And so now you’re all steamed up, huh? Heh heh, you’re makin’ me jealous!” Applejack dropped the hat back onto her head. “All jokin’ aside, I’d’ve never thought it, but she… well... she sounds perfect for you.”
Rarity choked on her drink, letting out a gasping laugh. “Perfect? Oh, no. Pinkie is anything but, darling. You want to see perfect, look at a wall sometime. Uniform color, seamless, boring. My Pinkie is not perfect; I daresay she’s chaos in pony form!”
Applejack took another sip of whiskey, grimacing as it burned her throat. “Well, I always reckoned she’d sorta be like that, but I mean... but… Well, don’t take this the wrong way or nothin’, but ain’t it a little hard to get along, then?”
Rarity smiled, taking a demure sip of her drink. “There is a quaint term I heard you utter once, and I think it applies here. We ‘get on like a house on fire.’ She’s just so... energetic! I wonder sometimes if I hold her back a little more than I should, but she seems to thrive all the more for being tethered. And I want to do things with her that I never normally take the time to do.” Rarity sighed dreamily. “She makes me want to join in on her antics when I should be telling her ‘no.’ Absolutely incorrigible.”
"Hard to rein her in, eh? Bet she’s got plenty of energy in bed, too," Applejack said, snorting. “She runs on pure sugar, after all.”
"Hmmm? Oh, no, not there,” Rarity replied, and Applejack raised her eyebrows in surprise.
"Tryin'? You wanna know tryin'? I got Twilight on one side, stutterin' red-faced through a set of massage oil instructions while Dash is tearin' through the bedroom ready to tackle any pony with socks on!” Applejack waved a hoof around wildly for emphasis. “It’s tryin’ all right. Tryin’ to herd cats is what it is."
"Very well, I'll grant you our chosen partners present some... difficulties,” Rarity said, laughing lightly at the mental image Applejack just gave her. “Let me tell you a little story, if you’ll indulge me. Our first date—well, first proper date—She was so very excited..."
Pinkie glanced out the window again. She’d been watching the sun slowly dip down below the treeline in the Everfree Forest, and now it had finally disappeared. Oh, I hope Rarity’s okay. I didn’t think this would take so long. At least she’s got those snackwiches if she gets too hungry. Stretching her neck, she tried to catch a glance of her friend.
Fluttershy had disappeared into the kitchen more than an hour ago. Every time Pinkie tried to step in and help, Fluttershy shooed her back onto the couch. Either this was going to be the fanciest meal she’d had in years, or her friend was still trying to avoid having this conversation. So she’d been sitting in Fluttershy’s living room, leafing through several wildlife magazines and listening to the pegasus hum in the other room. “Fluttershy?” she finally called out.
The humming from the kitchen grew louder, taking on an insistent edge.
Pinkie slipped off the couch and crept to the kitchen. Poking her head inside, she could just see the end of a pink tail protruding from the pantry. The humming ratcheted up a few octaves, becoming shrill.
Tiptoeing in, Pinkie quickly scanned the room: Nothing on the stove. No flatware on the table. No vegetables on the cutting board. Pinkie’s brow furrowed, and she peeked into the pantry. Inside, Fluttershy stood, swaying back and forth ever so slightly as she stared at a large collection of canned goods. Though nearly still, the pegasus quivered with nervous energy.
Pinkie tapped her friend on the shoulder. “Hey, what gives? I thought you were cooking dinner, but you’re just in here singing for these cans.”
Fluttershy squeaked and leapt into the air, nearly flying into the ceiling. “Oh! Oh, Pinkie! I-I didn’t hear you.”
“Well, it’s no wonder!” Pinkie replied, waving her hoof toward the neat rows of cans. “You’ve got to be super loud when you give a can concert. I sing in the Cake’s pantry all the time, but you know, I don’t think those cans appreciate it.” Pinkie cupped her hoof around her mouth and whispered loudly. “Don’t tell them I told you, but I think they all have tin ears.”
Fluttershy drifted back down to the ground, her hoof covering her racing heart. “Can concert?”
Pinkie cocked her head to the side. “Yeah, you know…” She swayed just as Fluttershy had done, humming that dressmaking song that Rarity loved to sing when she was being creative. “Like that!”
“Was… was I doing that?”
Pinkie frowned. “Yeah! Come on, Fluttershy! How are you gonna wow these cans if you’re not even paying attention? They’re not going to ask for an encore if you don’t take it seriously, and I don’t want to see you get canned!”
Fluttershy opened and closed her mouth several times while she tried to figure out how to respond to that. “Uh, well… I guess that’s okay. I’m used to ponies not wanting me around anymore. The cans probably won’t be so bad.”
Sighing, Pinkie sat and laid a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. She frowned when the pegasus flinched. “Shy, that’s silly talk. We all want you here, okay?” she said quietly. “You don’t have to be scared and hide in a pantry, no matter how much the cans want to hear you sing.”
“I-I’m not h-hiding!” Fluttershy replied, her eyes darting toward the open door. She inched back into a corner.
Pinkie fixed the pegasus in place with a penetrating stare. “Shy, when I was eight, I took Regional in the All-Equestria Hide and Seek Tournament. The next year, I lost in the final to Oxen Free, and we’ve traded the title back and forth every year since then.” Edging closer, Pinkie stared directly into Fluttershy’s eyes. “I know hiding when I see it, and you’re hiding.”
Fluttershy dropped her eyes, swallowing hard. “You promised.”
Pinkie’s lower lip trembled. “I know. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to lie to you.”
Fluttershy sat silently for a moment, and then let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, Pinkie. It’s not your fault. Not really. I… I wanted to talk to you about what happened, but—” she took a deep breath “—it… it scared me. Rarity was so angry, and… and I deserved everything that she said to me.” Fluttershy slowly sank to the floor and rested her head on her hooves. “But I thought it would be better when the yelling was over. I thought it would be better when I said I was sorry, but she’s right. I didn’t just make a bad decision. I’m a bad pony . I always make the wrong choices because I’m scared of the right ones.”
Pinkie stomped a hoof, and then reached out to steady a few cans when they rattled across the shelves. “Shy, you’re being ridiculous. and you remember whose job that is, right? We all mess up sometimes. I’m here because I’m the one who caused all of this! It’s my fault, not yours!”
Fluttershy shook her head vigorously. Pinkie watched the muscles around her friend’s clenched jaw twitch.
An uncomfortable silence stretched out between the pair. I can’t get her to listen, Pinkie thought, dropping down beside the pegasus to give her a gentle nuzzle. She’s too… Fluttershy right now. I’ve got to get her to think like a Not Fluttershy.
“Shy, I think maybe you just don’t know Rarity like you think you do.” Pinkie jumped up and snatched a random can from the shelf. “You think Rarity’s mad at you? You should have seen her on our first official date. Boy, was she mad then, but she’s all better now! I’ll make us some soup and tell you all about it!”
“Um… those are peaches.”
Pinkie thrust the can into the air. “Peach Soup it is, then, with a side of...” Pinkie blindly grabbed for a colorful package a few shelves above. She squinted at it as she brought it down. “...Wheat germ?” Pinkie shrugged. “Well, whatever. It’ll be yummy.” Trotting outside, she held the pantry door open for her friend.
Sighing, Fluttershy trudged out of the pantry and sank onto one of the chairs around her small kitchen table. “But she loves you, Pinkie. It’s different.”
Pinkie set a pot on the stove and poured the peaches into it. Eyeing them critically, she added some pepper and stirred it in. “Yeah, but it didn’t start out that way. She was all ‘let’s wait’-y and pull-backy. I told her that I wanted to go out with her and do you know what she said?
Fluttershy shook her head and unconsciously leaned forward. “No, what?”
Pinkie covered her mouth with a hoof and giggled. “She said ‘Well, I’m not saying no .’ Then she kissed me. Then she told me she just wanted to be friends. Friends that kissed a bunch.”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “She did?”
Pinkie’s grin widened, and she tipped some cumin into the pot. “Uh-huh. I was all confused. I mean, this was Rarity! She’s, like… perfect! But even I thought that was a funny way to start being somepony’s marefriend.” She turned and gave Fluttershy a wink. “Turns out there was all sorts of stuff about Rarity that I didn’t know. I really thought that I knew everything about her, but she… well, there’s two Rarities. There’s the outside Rarity, like the yummy, sugary outside of a jelly donut, but if you take a bite, you get to see the inside Rarity. I don’t think she shows that a lot. I thought maybe she’d shown you, since you’re superduperclose, but maybe she’s been saving it.” A slow flush crept into Pinkie’s cheeks, and she stirred with renewed vigor. “I think maybe she’s been waiting to be in love.”
Fluttershy smiled briefly before looking away. “Oh, Pinkie. I wish you knew how happy I am for the two of you. I wish I could tell her…”
Pinkie ripped open the top of wheat germ package. “See? There you go again. Fluttershy, Rarity’s not some grouchy ol’ bear—”
Fluttershy sighed. “I know. I could talk to her if she was. I’m good with bears.”
Pinkie ignored that. “She’s just really sensitive. She likes to things to be just so, and when they aren’t, she takes it really hard and doesn’t know what to do at first.” Pinkie poured the wheat germ into a bowl and squinted down at it. Frowning, she added some vanilla. “Let me tell you about our first real date. I thought I had it all planned out just right”. Pinkie chewed her lower lip for a moment. “But, it was—”
“Completely awful?” Fluttershy prompted before slapping a hoof over her mouth. “Oh, Pinkie! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean—”
Pinkie sniggered, flushing again. “No, it kinda was. Well, maybe not all of it. Parts of it were pretty good, really, but I…” Pinkie looked away and rubbed one forehoof against the other. “I’m not so used to being with somepony. Not like that. I really wanted her to like me so we could be more than friends that kissed sometimes.” Pinkie fought to control the quaver that was creeping into her voice. “I thought that if I took Rarity on the most funnerific date that she’d ever been on, that she’d see how crazy I was about her. All I did was make her think I was just plain crazy.”
Pinkie stopped just outside the door to Rarity’s inspiration room and swallowed hard. She usually loved butterflies, but her tummy was too full of them today. Okay, Pinkie. You can do this. She’s your Special Kissing Friend, and she’s going to want to go out with you. Pinkie took a few deep breaths, then pushed the door open and poked her head inside.
Rarity sat hunched over her desk, her quill dipping and weaving its way over a large piece of parchment. Stepping closer, Pinkie’s eyes grew wide. Each line was perfect. Each stroke a masterpiece of grace and elegance. Together, they were a symphony of form, and it made Pinkie want to laugh and sing and dance. But most of all, she wanted to see Rarity in that dress. Pinkie wanted to be near that perfection. It would be like basking in the sun. “Rarity,” she said in a hushed voice. “It’s so beautiful.”
Rarity shook her head, tapping the quill on a blotter as she looked over the design. “It’s not. Not yet. It needs something...” She looked away from the paper, smiling as she realized who had come in. “Oh, hello, love.” She got up, stretching her legs slowly until the tingling sensation left them before walking over to Pinkie and nuzzling her. “You caught me working. Sorry about that. Give me some time and I’ll show you beautiful.” She pecked Pinkie on the cheek, walking back to the desk to continue her design.
Pinkie hesitantly ran her hoof along the design’s sweeping lines. “No, really. That dress is so…” Pinkie twirled her hoof, searching for the word. “So swoopy and swishy and slinky.”
“Well, yes, that was rather the point.” Rarity replied, smiling. She tapped the quill once more, frowning at the design. “I just wish I knew what else it needs...”
“Needs? How could it get any better?” Pinkie wrenched her eyes away from the incredible drawing. “When are you gonna make it? Can I help out?”
Rarity hesitated, trying to find the most diplomatic way to explain why she feared another ‘cinnamon-bun incident.’ “Not for some time yet. Until I finish the design, I can’t really begin. But you may certainly help... provided you do so after washing up first.”
“I’d love to.” Pinkie stared wistfully back down at the design, drinking it in again. Maybe we can have a sewing party! I’d think up a whole bunch of new jokes so we’d all be in stitches! And afterward, you could...” Pinkie caught Rarity’s eye, and then looked away. Her cheeks felt alarmingly warm. “Rarity, um, after it’s done, you know, before anypony gets a chance to buy it, could you wear it… for me?”
Setting the quill down, Rarity turned around in her stool to face Pinkie. “Darling, I’m flattered, but this is not a personal dress; it’s going to be part of a line. Why would you want me to wear it?”
“Because it’s beautiful, and you’re beautiful, and when you put them together, it’s a celebration. Just seeing it would make my day, just like I know this dress is going to make some other mare’s day when she buys it, and she’ll probably make somepony else’s day when she wears it, and then that pony will be so happy that—”
Rarity put a hoof up to Pinkie’s lips. “Fine, love. I’ll model it for you to show it off.” She looked back at the design wistfully. “Well, this will have to wait a while, I suppose. Did you want to go do anything, Pinkie? I’d fancy a little dancing if you’re up for it.”
“Do something? Oh, yeah!” Pinkie rapidly bounced in place. “You wanna go to the Equestria Expo with me tomorrow night?” Pinkie stopped, hanging in midair for a second before sinking slowly down to the floor, her mouth sagging open. “I said it! I-it just came right out!”
“Hmmm, well, I was actually thinking tonight—” Rarity stopped as the importance of Pinkie’s words registered. “Darling... did you just ask me out?”
“I’ve been walking around Ponyville all morning trying to figure out how I was going to ask you to go to the Expo with me. At first, I was just going to be all cool.” Pinkie leaned casually against Rarity’s desk and tried to look bored. “I was going to be all ‘Hey, so there’s this thing if you feel like it,’ but then I couldn’t find my sunglasses. After that, I decided to make a song out of it, but my tuba had dried oatmeal in the valve. Then I asked Golden Harvest and she said that maybe I should take you out for dinner and ask then, but you said you were watching your figure again, and I don’t even know why!” Pinkie leaned back on her haunches and ran her hooves over her belly. “Compared to me, you’re a supermodel. Well, compared to supermodels, you’re a supermodel.”
The fashionista hesitated. It still felt a little soon to be actually going out. She’d just barely gotten used to kissing Pinkie. She was worried about tainting the new relationship with baggage from her unrequited crush, and had avoided calling anything they did a date. But Pinkie was so terribly excited about this, and it might crush her if she said no. “Well, I’m not sure I’ll be free—”
Pinkie fidgeted, her breath quickening. “I ended up in Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen, and I was getting sort of hyperventilatish because I couldn’t decide how to ask and I really wanted to, you know? All these pretty colors were popping up on the edges of my vision when Mrs. Cake just sat right down and told me to just come over here and ask so that’s what I’m doing ’cause I really want to gototheexpowithyouifyouwant—”
“Darling, please take a breath!” Rarity cried out in desperation. While the pink pony dutifully filled her lungs, Rarity thought rapidly. “Um... so what is this thing you want to go to?” This was a big step, one she wasn’t quite sure she was ready for yet. But Pinkie was so very excited...
“Oh, you’ll love it, Rarity! They’ve got stuff from all over Equestria there! It’s really amazing to see all the things from all over the place. Griffons. Crystal ponies. Diamond Dogs. You name it, they’ve got something there and—” Pinkie grabbed Rarity’s head with her hooves. Hauling the unicorn to her, she leaned in until their foreheads were pressed together “—it is so amazing! I just know you’ll have a blast!”
Exhibits of various cultures. That actually does sound pleasant. Maybe it won’t be so bad then.
It wasn’t that she minded spending time with Pinkie, she just wasn’t sure if she was okay with it being a date. Still, a cultural exhibition was not exactly conducive to romance, so maybe this wasn’t a date after all. “I-I see. Well then, how much does it cost—” Rarity said, reaching for her bits pouch.
Pinkie held up a hoof and shook her head. “No, no. It’s my treat. I’ve been saving my bits for six weeks hoping you’d go with me.” Pinkie took Rarity’s hoof in both of hers. “So... do you wanna?”
Oh dear, she wants to pay... That’s rather decisive then. All right, Rarity, it’s go time. Are you dating, or not?
She was still worried, but after looking into Pinkie’s hopeful eyes... there was little she could say other than: “Yes, darling. That sounds wonderful.”
A large, peeling letter Q lay on the ground.
Above it, a billboard-sized sign proclaimed ‘Welcome to The E uestrian Expo: Equestria’s Premiere Family Fun Park!’ Once bright, the sign had faded over time, and every so often, a paint chip flaked off into the wind. Occasionally, the letters would struggle to blink; the last remnants of some enterprising unicorn’s forgotten advertising spell.
The oily, hard-packed dirt beneath Rarity’s hooves shook when a roller coaster car filled with screaming ponies whizzed by. A metal track snaked overhead in a dizzying array of loops and tightly banked turns, and lines of rust stained the pylons. Beyond it, rides and attractions whirled, flinging ponies up into the evening sky or swallowing them into darkened recesses before vomiting them back out, leaving the blemish-scarred youngsters to go staggering around the rest of the park. The shouts of food vendors and souvenir shops added to the maddening cacophony.
All of this framed Pinkie, who bounced beneath the sign. The carnival lights were dancing in her eyes as a grin spread across her face. “So whattaya think, Rarity?” she said, hopping rapidly in place. “Isn’t it a scream? We are going to have the bestest time!”
The scent of the unwashed masses assaulted Rarity’s nostrils, and she fought off a wave of nausea. Pinkie may as well have have taken her to Tartarus, for this was assuredly going to be torturous.
Pinkie took off toward a ride, then skidded to a stop and broke off in the opposite direction. She was four steps away before she switched courses again. “EEEEEE! So many choices! I-I can’t make up my mind!”
Galloping back to Rarity, Pinkie hopped from hoof to hoof. “It’s your first time, right? You should decide, Rarity! What do you wanna go on first? The Blender?” Pinkie pointed to a metal cylinder that was spinning so rapidly that the ponies inside were a homogenous blur. “Or The Stable of Eternal Terror?” Her hoof shifted to a nightmarish barn with evil, jagged windows and a maw-like set of double doors. The whole thing seemed to be leaning forward, ready to pounce on the ponies who trepidatiously approached. “Ooh, ooh! I know! How about Powerdive?” Pinkie motioned to the nearby roller coaster. One of its cars flew around a turn, and several wide-eyed, green-faced ponies covered their mouths. “It’s a griffon coaster, and it’s got this promotion where we all get a shirt if nopony gets sick during the ride.” Pinkie dropped her eyes to her hooves and shook her head. “I still haven’t gotten one…”
“I... I need to sit down,” Rarity said, finally. “Forgive me, but this is just a little overwhelming.” Rarity cast about for anything resembling something civilized, eventually hitting on what looked like an outdoor cafe. “There! We’ll go there... and we’ll... decide what to do.”
She walked towards her salvation, not even checking if Pinkie was following behind. There had to be something they could do at this place that didn’t involve lurching about at high speeds, and she was going to find it. This was distinctly not what she had expected... but perhaps it could be salvaged. Yes, she would find a way to enjoy herself. That’s all there was to it.
Pinkie followed a few steps behind, her brow furrowing. “Sit down? But we just got here. Don’tcha wanna go on something?”
“We will, I promise,” Rarity replied, sitting down heavily. “Just be a dear and fetch me a pamphlet on this... place? I would very much like to know what they have to offer.” While Pinkie ran off on her errand, Rarity thought hard, trying to recall what little she knew about such places. She’d last been taken to one by her parents as a small child. If she wasn’t mistaken there had been rides for foals, the rides for the thrill seekers... but also some rides her parents had been keen to get on. Wasn’t there a—
“Here ya go!” Pinkie said, plopping the paper packet on the table.
“Thank you, darling,” Rarity said, meaning every word. It was important to remember that Pinkie meant well. She had to keep that in mind or go insane. She looked furiously over the list of attractions, eyes gravitating towards the first ride that sounded sane. “Ah! The Tunnel of Love!” That actually had promise! Snuggling together in a private boat, dark tunnel, who could say whose hooves were where—She shook herself. Pinkie wasn’t quite ready for that. But still, kissing and snuggling were permissible. “Oh, and the Gondola!” Yes... again, private booth, the ride gave you a view of the whole park without having to be in the thick of it. It was essentially a slow track ride that traveled all the way around the park, giving you a nice view of the entirety and all the attractions therein. That could work nicely!
“Weeeeeeell, I was kinda hoping we could hit the Tunnel of Love right before we left.” Pinkie’s cheeks darkened and she fanned herself with a hoof. “Um, so that it’d be a good memory for us that way, you know...” Pinkie squirmed and swallowed hard. “But, sure! The Gondola. I guess we can get to the zoomy stuff after that!”
“The Gondola it is, then!” Rarity replied, blushing slightly. So Pinkie has been thinking ahead. How very thoughtful of her.
The startlingly young ride attendant held open the carriage door with an air of disaffected listlessness. “Please watch your step while entering the gondola and keep your hooves inside the ride at all times.”
Pinkie squealed and hopped in, causing the carriage to rock alarmingly. “Look, Rarity! Somepony left half a stick of cotton candy in here! Let me just scrape it off the seat and we can sit down…”
Rarity lifted the offending confection from the seat and deposited it into the nearest trash receptacle. She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a wet towelette, wiping down the seat. “There we are!”
Pinkie stared back at the trash can, her lower lip quivering. “Rarity! That was blueberry flavor…”
“I will buy you two when we disembark. You have no idea where that thing has been,” Rarity replied testily.
“Well, it just seems like a waste of—whoa!”
Pinkie fell onto Rarity as the carriage lurched into motion. Above them, the wheel squealed in protest as the gondola moved up the cable in fits and starts. Swinging in the breeze, the carriage offered a grand view of the park as it ascended.
“Ooh, ooh! Look!” Pinkie said, pointing. “There’s the Bucking Bronco! That’s the first ride that ever made me so dizzy that I couldn’t walk! And there’s the Crystal Heartstopper. The Crystal Empire had that built here to represent their nation. It’s a class triple black diamond water slide!” Curled up on Rarity’s lap, Pinkie threw her hooves around the unicorn’s neck. “Aaah! I can’t believe I’m here again and you’re here with me!” Pinkie snuggled her cheek against Rarity’s. “It’s like the two best things ever just became the bestest thing of all time! I just know we’re going to have a great time!”
“Yes, I’m glad as well, darling,” Rarity replied, looking out the window herself.
The Bucking Bronco indeed. Well, at least I know what to steer clear of. The Crystal Heartstopper looks... bearable. But I would need a poncho. It’s that or ruining my mane-style. And what a dreadful name...
Try as she might, it was doubtful she was going to be able to avoid every ride that looked like trouble, but she could at least minimize the damage. “Any others you enjoy? Something... not quite so lurchy?”
Pinkie gasped, her eyes widening. “Any others I enjoy? Just look at it all!” Pinkie pressed her nose up against the grimy window. “The Diamond Dodgers. The diamond dogs had those built back when I was just a filly. And just on the other side of that is The Whipsaw. That had to be shut down for a while after some ponies threw out their backs. Oh, right. Less lurchy.” Pinkie slid her face along the glass to the other side of the car, leaving a nose-sized clean streak behind her. “Well, there’s the vendor stuff. You wanna check that out?”
“Vendors, you say?”
Pinkie sat again and smiled at Rarity. Her nose was coal-black. “Oh, you know, un-ridey kinds of stuff. Funnel cakes. Face painting. Balloon animals. Cragodile wrestling. Stuff like that.”
Rarity considered, absently cleaning Pinkie’s nose with another wet towelette. She didn’t want the day to be ruined for Pinkie, but at the same time she would not be able to stand more than one of those monstrosities at a time without some downtime between. “How about this, then. You may choose the next ride. Something... a bit easy on me, please. Then we can go and have something to eat, and I will pick something, and so on.”
Pinkie clapped her hooves. “Oh, that sound funnerific!” Leaping forward, she wrapped the unicorn in a hug, and after a moment’s hesitation, she hesitantly kissed Rarity’s cheek. “You have the best ideas.”
“I try, darling,” Rarity said, bracing herself for the worst. “All right then. Where would you like to go?”
The carriage bounced and swayed alarmingly when Pinkie jumped back to her hooves and rushed back to the window. “How ’bout The Whinneypeg Express? It’s got the record for fastest—” Pinkie caught a bit of fidgeting in her peripheral vision. “Oh, maybe not that. It’s kinda lurchy. Then, maybe The Dragon Dropper? It’s a fall ride. Kinda like when you lost your wings in Cloudsdale and—oh, maybe not that either.” Pinkie tapped the glass with a hoof. “Um… Oh, I know! Let’s go on the carousel! It’ll be like your shop! Well, sort of. Less clothes, probably, and if Sweetie Belle’s there, she’s totally gonna get grounded.”
“The carousel? Yes... that sounds lovely.” Although the idea of riding on a pony did seem a bit off. Well, on a wooden pony , she amended, eyes flicking to the wiggling rump attached to the pony staring out of the window. Still, it should be a nice, slow way to start the day. Rarity nodded, gesturing for Pinkie to sit back down beside her. “Well then, let’s enjoy the rest of the ride.”
Pinkie sneaked another kiss in. “I’m already enjoying it!”
Hidden somewhere inside the carousel’s main hub, a calliope wheezed out a slightly discordant tune. Around it, dozens of wooden ponies with massive saddles were mounted on tarnished brass poles, all with a wide-eyed, slightly desperate expression, as if they’d been frozen in time while fleeing some great terror. Pinkie immediately leapt into the saddle of the fanciest one.
Rarity eyed the wooden monstrosities dubiously. Foals were meant to enjoy this? If she’d seen this as a foal it would have given her nightmares. It was very nearly giving her one now. “Shall I get on the one next to you?”
Pinkie patted the pony’s worn saddle. “No, silly. We’re supposed to ride double. Come sit in front of me!”
Hmmm. Well, at least this promises to be interesting in that respect. Being held by Pinkie would be some consolation. Innocent though she was, Pinkie was an accomplished snuggler.
Pinkie threaded her legs underneath Rarity’s and grasped the brass pole. Scooching forward, she nestled up against Rarity as closely as she could manage. “Okay, you gotta hang on. These ponies can get kinda frisky!” Grinning, she tightened her grip on both Rarity and the pole.
“Well, I imagine they do go up and down a bit, but I doubt you’ll need a deathgrip on the pole, love.” Rarity delighted to be held so tightly, nonetheless. Her cheeks colored slightly as the idea of riding a frisky pony brought to mind some fantasies she’d been having about the mare behind her. Patience. You’ve only now begun dating. Plenty of time for that.
Pinkie leaned forward, resting her chin on Rarity’s shoulder. “You feel kinda hot all of a sudden. Are you—whoa!”
The tempo of the calliope’s song picked up as the carousel glided gently into motion. Pinkie squealed as their pony slowly rose and fell in smooth, precise arcs. Nearby, other couples grinned to each other and tightened their grips.
“Wait... what’s going on—” Rarity grabbed the pommel of the wooden pony with both hooves as the mechanisms that drove the carousel began to pick up a bit more speed than she’d anticipated.
The song’s pitch increased again, and the wooden ponies moved into a brisk trot, then a lively canter. Pinkie’s mane streamed behind her while she squeezed Rarity and laughed. “Okay, okay! Here. We. Go! ”
“Wait wait, what do you mean here we go? Surely this is—”
With a labored, mechanical whine, the carousel’s roof rose on a geared track. Beneath it, a bored unicorn sat in a hidden compartment. Resting his cheek in a hoof, he sighed and reached out with his magic. Plucking the carousel horses from their mooring, he sent them soaring out into the night sky. The wooden ponies dipped and rose surprisingly smoothly for the breathtaking speeds they’d achieved. The riders high-hoofed each other as they came together and parted in complex patterns.
“This is the best carousel ever! ” Pinkie yelled into the night sky.
There are moments in everypony’s life when they are assured in their mind they are going to die. Rarity had experienced several of these moments. When she was confronted by vengeful enemies, when she was falling from great heights with nothing below her but clouds—that one cropped up far too often—this was just another of what had become a pattern in Rarity’s life. She could do little at such times but panic, but she refused to do so now. She was here, with somepony she loved, and if she had to die, at least she had that. She shut her eyes tightly, waiting for the end to come.
“Aww, it’s always over too quick,” Pinkie said with a sigh. Inch by inch, the wooden horses descended. The whirling patterns slowed from heart stopping to merely hoof-biting, and then back to gentle. The brass poles found their way back into their receptacles with a reassuring click and the roof ratcheted down back into place once again.
As the ride ground to a halt, Pinkie leapt off and ran rapidly in place, her hooves a blur. “That was so great! Oh, I could do it all day! You wanna go again? We could—” Turning to offer Rarity a hoof down, Pinkie’s smile slowly fell apart. “You okay, Rarity? You’re white as a ghost! I mean, you’re always white as a ghost, but you look like a really scared ghost and ghosts are supposed to be the scarers, not the scarees.”
Carefully opening her eyes, Rarity looked around her new surroundings. She had expected the afterlife to be less... smelly. Either I’m not dead... or my flaws have condemned me to Tartarus. Seeing Pinkie, she relaxed. She had to be alive; there was no way Pinkie would be in there with her. Having established her survival, she tried to ensure its continuance by being very careful as she got off the ride. “I-I’m just fine, darling,” she replied with as little shakiness as she could manage. “Um... Let’s... go someplace saf—to eat.”
“Uh, sure.” Pinkie took Rarity’s outstretched hoof, then frowned at it. “Rarity. You’re trembling. Oh, come here.” Gently pulling the unicorn off of the ride, she wrapped Rarity in a tight embrace. “It’s okay. I didn’t know how to feel after my first time, either. My front hooves were trying to run around all over the place, and my back left one wanted to dance. My back right hoof wanted to sing, and I don’t even know how it managed that.” Snuggling her cheek against her date’s, Pinkie squeezed. “It’s overwhelming, for sure.”
“Well, the important thing is that you had fun, love. But I really need to sit down somewhere that won’t fly off the ground for a long while.” Rarity took several deep, calming breaths. She could do this. The carousel had surprised her, but at least she knew what to expect in the future. Granted, she now knew to expect horrible gut-wrenching terror, but at least she knew ahead of time.
Pinkie lower lip trembled. “Oh, no! You didn’t like it, did you?” She touched the corner of Rarity’s mouth. “You should be smiley here, but you’re not. Your mouth’s all tight.”
“It... wasn’t as I expected, is all, darling,” Rarity admittedly grudgingly. “Much like your unusual baking concoctions—” And you, yourself “—I suspect it’s an acquired taste.”
“Huh. I figured you’d know all about it,” Pinkie said, opening the exit stile for Rarity. “It was built by the Canterlot Society for Unicorny Somethingorothers a while ago. It sounded really fancy, and when I think fancy, I think Rarity!”
“And I am certain they did a wonderful job with the designs... but I wasn’t expecting the high speeds or aerial maneuvers...” At Pinkie’s blank but curious expression, she huffed out a frustrated breath. “Well, have you ever mixed up ingredients, like say... salt with sugar, then bitten into that and gotten a horrible salty cupcake?”
Pinkie thought for a moment. “Uh… no, but Applejack did, and then I had to stay in bed for two days.” Pinkie stuck out her tongue. “Those were some terrible muffins, and they made my tummy upset. I think we should have used fewer worms.”
“Well, that’s... close to what I mean. When you expect a nice smooth ride with somepony you love behind you, and things fly off the rails... it’s hard to have fun. I was glad for you, at least, but for me... I was terrified. I’m sorry.” Rarity did her best to smile. “But have no fear, darling. I think I can brave them for you. Just... be a dear and warn me of what’s coming?”
“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie bounded into the air, circling Rarity. “Well, what’s coming next is something yummy to eat! So whattaya want?” Pinkie pointed out vendors as the passed. “They’ve got fried butter on a stick over there. Ooh, and super-glaze funnel cakes!” She froze in mid-leap, turning to give Rarity a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, they don’t make them out of funnels anymore. Celestia passed new baking regulations. And the griffons sell something they call ‘Chunky Nuggets,’ which I’ve always sorta been curious about. So it’s kinda down to what you feel like. They’ve got everything here!”
“Fried... butter? How would that even...” Rarity shook her head, trying to dismiss the images brought to mind by Pinkie’s descriptions. Over drinks one evening, Rainbow had told her of griffon cuisine, and while meat wasn’t necessarily a problem for a pony to digest, it was not exactly good for you, either.
Best to avoid the griffon stand, then.
“What exactly is a funnel cake?” Rarity asked, having decided it was the least offensive option.
Pinkie snatched up Rarity’s hoof and ran. “C’mon! It’ll be easier to show you than tell you!” Wide-eyed ponies leapt out of their way as Pinkie barrelled toward a ramshackle clapboard shop called The Funnel of Love.
A grizzled stallion with burn scars criss-crossing his muzzle leaned out the shop’s service window. “What can I get you lovely ladies?”
“The Matrimonial!” Pinkie said, sliding five bits across the counter.
“Uh… just for the two of you?” the stallion replied, arching his eyebrow.
Pinkie nodded. “Yup. My marefriend’s starving.”
Shrugging, the stallion disappeared inside. “Suit yourself. One Matrimonial, comin’ up!”
Pinkie pulled out a chair at a nearby table. Brushing away a pile of crumbs, she held it out for Rarity and stiffened her upper lip as best she could. “Would you care for a seat, madam?”
Rarity had been flummoxed for several moments now, uncertain which insane thing to respond to first; the name of the business, the confection, or Pinkie’s casual assertion that they were dating. She’d just barely accepted the idea herself. She decided, for the moment at least, to ignore everything her mind was screaming at her and just relax. “Thank you, my darling. So... I still don’t know what a funnel cake is. Care to fix that?”
Pinkie slid into the seat opposite Rarity. “Well, it’s kinda like a donut if it thought it was a puff pastry that thought it was a bunch of snakes.” Tapping her chin, Pinkie scrunched her face up. “I’m forgetting something… Oh, yeah!” Pinkie’s ears perked up. “Then they put powdered sugar all over it and sometimes some strawberry jam!”
“I see... so it’s bits of fried dough covered in sugar?” Rarity could almost feel her hips expand at the very thought. Still, hardly worse than the fried butter... ”Well, that sounds edible, at least.”
Pinkie’s mouth dropped open. “Edible?! Are you kidding? Funnel cakes are the most scrummilicious, yummerific things in this whole park!” Grinning slyly, she reached out with a hind hoof, poking Rarity’s thigh under the table. “And don’t tell me you don’t like pastries! I saw you eat that eclair at Twilight’s birthday party last month! You loved it!”
“Confections and I have a bit of a love hate relationship, darling. I do enjoy them. But I pay for it afterwards.” Rarity lifted her own hindleg, running a gentle caress along Pinkie’s calf with the tip of a hoof. “If you intend to feed me sweets, maybe you’d like to help me work them off, later?” she asked coyly, batting her eyelashes.
Pinkie jumped slightly at the hoof’s touch. “Well, sure! I have to run around all over the place to keep in shape, but the sugar gives me all the energy to work off the sugar, so it all works out!” Grinning, she clapped her hooves. “Oh, this is great! We can stay up real late working it all off so that you’re still as amazing in the morning as you always are!” Pinkie looked down at her belly, poking it with a hoof. “I’ll still be pudgy, but that’s okay. More room for cake that way.”
“Yes...” Rarity said, a little frustrated. “Exercise. But not so much running, I think. There are far more enjoyable ways to burn calories.”
Pinkie’s cheeks felt hot, and she was having considerable trouble not squirming. Rarity’s hoof was making her tingle in ways that she wasn’t used to. It was like being ticklish, but deeper. “Uh, sure!” she said, swallowing hard. “Whatever you want, as long as we’re togeth—”
“Here you go, ladies!” The stallion slowly made his way to their table, balancing a three-tiered, sugar-coated monstrosity on his back. Several sparklers blazed away, stuck into the cake at odd angles, and red jam dripped down its sides. “One Matrimonial. Hope you’re hungry!” Twisting carefully, he grabbed the edge of the plate with his teeth and swung the teetering confection onto their table. He tipped his paper hat and gave Pinkie a wink. “She’s a real beaut!” he said from behind his hoof in a carrying stage whisper. Grinning, he trotted back to his shop.
“Yeah, you are,” Pinkie mumbled from around a bulging mouthful of funnel cake. Rolling her eyes up to the sky, her eyelids fluttered. “Oh. Rarity. This is amazing! Did you see the structure?” Pinkie pointed to the different tiers. “Nopony else but Funnel of Love knows how to make the cake do this. I’ve tried a few times at Sugarcube Corner, and, well… I just get a really big donut. But they get it to look like a wedding cake somehow, so they called it the Matrimonial. Now it’s an Expo date tradition!” Pinkie dropped her eyes, falling silent for a moment. “I… Um, well… I always wanted to have somepony to get one with. I thought about it a whole bunch, but I never in a million years thought…” Trembling, Pinkie stuffed another bite into her mouth and wiped her eye.
Rarity’s hoof stilled, all thoughts of flirting gone. Her heart skipped a beat, and a single tear welled up in her eye. “That... may be the sweetest thing anypony has ever said to me...” she whispered, feeling entirely breathless. “I’m... I’m glad I was here to share it with you.” With an air of reverence, Rarity picked up a piece of the funnel cake in her magic and bit into it. She wasn’t sure what to expect... but then, such was her emotional state at that time that it could have been nearly anything and it would have tasted heavenly. The fact that the confection in question was, as Pinkie had told her, scrumptious, certainly did not hurt.
In a relatively short time, she’d consumed far more of the confection than she was expecting to. She smiled apologetically, laying a piece of it down without even trying to take another bite. “Sorry... I don’t know if we are supposed to finish this as part of the tradition but I don’t think my poor stomach can take more abuse. But... I...” she shook her head, unable to find the words. Instead she leaned over the table, pecking Pinkie on the cheek. “Thank you.”
“Oh, c’mon, Rarity!” Pinkie said, pulling the unicorn into the cramped tent. “It’s like makeup, right? They’ll just be using paint instead. You can’t go to the Expo without getting your face painted!”
“Now, just to be clear, this is water-soluble? I can’t take anymore surprises today,” Rarity replied, a slightly worried look on her face. While the idea didn’t bother her (after all, it really wasn’t much different than makeup), she wanted to be certain she could undo whatever had been done if she didn’t like it.
“The Chromatic Combo please!” Pinkie said to two paint-spattered ponies who stood smiling in a corner. “Just sit back and enjoy, Rarity. I’ve done this a million times, and the paint always comes off with a good scrubbing. Well, except that one time when I had to go to Canterlot to find some unicorn with a scouring spell, but you are a unicorn, so that’s all taken care of.” Pinkie flopped into a stained chair and pointed to the one across from her. “Sit there. Then we can keep an eye on each other. It’ll be fun!
“Yes... so you said about the Carousel. Please forgive me for questioning if I’ll find the same thing fun,” Rarity muttered darkly. She schooled her expression to be less petulant. After all, she was supposed to be having fun, and by Celestia, she would power through for Pinkie. “Sorry, that was rude of me.”
Pinkie waved a hoof vaguely. “Eh, Applejack says stuff like that to me all the time when I jump into her hay piles, so I’m used to it. She’s so picky about them being all bunched up. Sometimes you just have to show ponies how much fun new stuff can be.” Pinkie paused for a moment, thinking. “But you’d think she’d know how to jump in the hay. Apple Bloom sure does! It’s like some kind of straw bomb went off in that barn! Anyway, I think you’ll love this. It’s like going to the spa!”
“Like the spa? That... that doesn’t even begin to make sen—” Rarity closed her mouth with a snap. She was being counter-productive. “Nevermind.”
The taller of the two employees trotted to Rarity. Tilting her head to the side, she squinted at the unicorn for a few long moments. “Hmmm. You’re a winter. How about we warm you up with some spring colors?” With rapid-fire precision, the mare snatched several small jars of paint from a cabinet and arranged them neatly on the metal tray beside her. “I’d suggest something in these hues. It would compliment both your natural beauty and the color of your friend’s coat.”
“It will be fine, I’m sure,” Rarity replied with dismissal. She lowered her voice, leaning closer to the mare about to turn her into a living canvas. “No offense to you but I’m really just doing this for her. Just do your best and don’t make me look foolish, please.”
The mare dropped a hoof onto Rarity’s shoulder and nodded. “I understand completely. We see this sort of thing all the time. Mostly from stallions, but there’s usually one pony who’s a little more excited to be here than the other.”
Across from the unicorn, Pinkie giggle-snorted and kicked her hind legs out gently. “It tickles!”
“Ma’am,” her attendant said reproachfully.
“I know, I know,” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes. “Sit still.” She tipped a wink at Rarity and mouthed “It still tickled!”
Moistening her brush with the tip of her tongue, the artist dipped it into a jar of soft green and set to work just beneath Rarity’s right eye. “So, have you been having a good time here are the Expo?”
“That’s... a difficult question. I've certainly enjoyed how happy my marefriend is, that’s the short answer.” Rarity’s lips tugged upwards into a ghost of a smile. “She’s a bit of a thrill-seeker, and I’m not.”
The mare nodded, clucking her tongue. “Oh, me neither.” She lowered her voice to a whisper as she dipped her brush again. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the art academy’s tuition. This whole place is just dirty and a little weird, but ponies sure seem to love it for some reason. I’d rather stroll through a gallery, but that’s just me.” The mare took a step back, tilting her head to the side for a moment. “Hmmm. Maybe a little blue. Who does your hair, by the way? It’s phenomenal.”
“The spa twins, Aloe and Lotus. They are amazing.” Rarity smiled, warming up slightly to the other mare. “If you like, mention Rarity when you go; my referrals get a discount on the first visit.”
The mare pulled away and gasped. “Rarity? Did you donate dress patterns to the Equestrian Institute for Art and Design? I took a class on independent fashion movements last semester and part of our curriculum was comparing patterns from all over Equestria. I remember somepony named Rarity because their vision was so fresh and exciting!”
“Erm... well, I think I did after I finished that line,” Rarity replied, feeling a little uncomfortable being praised for giving up a few templates of her less successful creations. They were really just taking up space, after all. “Honestly though, that was not my best work—”
The mare traced a cold, wet stroke down the side of Rarity’s muzzle. “Well, we all thought they were amazing . The fashion students all fought over them. Everypony wanted to be the one to take them back to their dorms for more study.” She rinsed the brush, then dipped it into a new color. Closing one eye, the mare took hold of Rarity’s chin and turn her head back and forth gently. “Hmmm. More blue, maybe.” Stepping away, she turned. “Hey, Palette. What do you think? More blue?”
The short, brown pegasus working on Pinkie stepped away and nodded. “Very modern! Yes, I think a little more blue would balance things out.”
In the opposite chair, Pinkie gasped. “Oh, Rarity! I love it!”
Rarity’s attention was drawn from the overly-effusive artist to her marefriend, and she had to suppress a gasp. Pinkie’s artist was using her natural coloring to evoke a delicate-looking flower bloom, with her eye as it’s center. Her eyelashes were being made up to look like stamens, every color was blended to perfection. Rarity almost expected to be able to pluck it from Pinkie’s face.
Pinkie dropped her eyes, her cheeks blazing. “I… I guess you like it, huh? Bet it’s not as pretty as yours, though.”
“It’s as gorgeous as you yourself, darling.” She leaned forward very slightly, whispering to her own artist. “Do you suppose you could suggest an indigo bloom for the opposite eye? It would complement nicely.”
The mare winked. “I was just thinking the same thing.” Leaning over, she whispered for a moment into her co-worker’s ear, who then turned, eyes wide, to stare at Rarity.
“Really?” she breathed to her friend.
“Mmhmm.” Rarity’s artist pushed her back toward Pinkie. “So go do it.” Smiling, the mare dabbed bits of glitter around Rarity’s eyes, then held out a mirror for the unicorn. “There. Take a look.”
Rarity blinked at her reflection for a moment, then gently took the mirror. Eyes wide, she turned her head this way and examining each angle. “My word...”
Beside her, the artist bit her lip. “I-if you don’t like it, I can—”
Rarity threw her hoof up, silencing the mare. “One moment, please.” Finally returning the mirror to center line, Rarity sat and stared. She’d been expecting something like Pinkie had received. Instead, formless warmth danced across her features.
The effect was startling. While Pinkie had become a flower, Rarity’s artist had transformed her into the vibrancy that surrounded it. In her reflection, Rarity caught hints of sweet perfume, the warmth of the summer sun, and the passion felt when your true love held a bouquet to your muzzle. Rarity hoof shook as she carefully touched a glowing pink swirl beneath her eye.
Pinkie leaned forward, her eyes full of concern. “Don’tcha like it? I think it’s pretty—”
“It’s magnificent! ” Rarity said, a huge grin erupting across her features. Checking the mirror again, she allowed herself a few Pinkie Pie-esque hoofy-kicks. “Gorgeous!”
Rarity’s artist sagged against the wall, explosively releasing the breath she’d been holding. “Thank heavens!”
Rarity leapt from her chair and muzzled Pinkie, careful not spoil their facepaint. “You were so right, my dear. This is just what I needed!” Rarity pulled her date out of the chair and to a large mirror at the back of the building. “Ah! Look at us!”
Pinkie waggled her eyebrows. “See, I told you that you can’t come to the expo without getting some of their superduperawesome facepainting! It’s the best!”
“We simply must have a picture!” Rarity beckoned her artist over. “Miss, surely there are photo booths of some sort here, correct?”
The mare approached, licking her lips nervously. “Um, yeah. There are a couple in the park. I could circle them on your map if you want. Also…” She held out a piece of parchment and a pen. “Would you mind? I mean, if you don’t want to, that’s cool, but if you don’t mind—”
Pinkie’s artist crept in with parchment of her own. “This is so exciting! I can’t believe Miss Rarity brought her date to our stall!”
Rarity looked down at the pieces of parchment, dumbfounded. “Well, certainly, I suppose...” her face brightened as she thought of something. “Oh, on one condition! Each of you must sign your work! Somewhere not terribly obvious, but later when I look back at these pictures, I want to remember you when you were just beginning to practice your craft!”
Pinkie leapt forward and pointed to her wide open mouth.” Ooo! ’Y ’ongue!” ’Ign ’y ’ongue!”
Rarity stiffened, turning to Pinkie in utter confusion. “D-did... you just suggest they lick us?”
“Well, where else are they gonna sign their work in a totally not obvious spot on our faces?” Pinkie replied with a shrug.
Rarity’s shook her head. “Ah, I misheard. Um... perhaps just a little mark on the cheek for me.”
“It’s your turn to pick! Whatcha wanna do now?” Pinkie said as they trotted from the photo stall. “The Swayback Screamer? Montezebra’s Revenge? Nightmare Moon’s Nightmare Flume?”
“Well... remind me what those rides were again? And don’t leave anything out please. I would like to be prepared.”
Pinkie eyes lit up. “Well, we could go on The Crystal Heartstopper! It’s the steepest water ride in allllllll of Equestria, but The Nightmare Flume is the twistiest, and it’s all in the dark, so you don’t know what’s gonna happen!” Digging her map out of her saddlebag, Pinkie spread it on the ground. “There’s the Dizz-A-Tron. The Wonderbolts leave it here when they aren’t recruiting, so we could see what Rainbow went through.” Pinkie threw up a hoof as Rarity’s mouth dropped open. “Don’t worry, they put nets up for you to fall into, and ponies almost never miss.”
Pinkie hunkered down and ran her hoof along the park’s twisting pathways. Her hoof lingered over a labyrinthine structure dominating one side of the map. “But what I really want to go on is The Powerdive! It’s zoomy and swirly, and you can’t walk straight for like five minutes after you get off! And everypony gets a ‘My stomach survived The Powerdive!’ T-shirt if no one gets sick!” Pinkie scowled at the map. “But somepony always does! I’ve been trying to get that shirt since I was an itty bitty twinkie Pinkie…”
Rarity thought intently. She really wanted to avoid any ride that involved water, both for her hair and the sake of their gorgeous face paintings. The Dizz-A-Tron was right out, and the Screamer and Revenge sounded dreadful. She did make note of the Powerdive as a point of interest. The idea of fulfilling a foalhood dream of Pinkie’s did appeal. “Any others?”
“Well, anyway. The Dragon Dropper’s over here, and beside that’s The Diamond Dog Ferrous Wheel—”
Rarity had to suppress a squeal as she realized one of those sounded normal. “Oh! Well, a Ferris wheel certainly sounds lovely. Let’s go do that!” She then hesitated. “It... it doesn’t fly off into the air, does it?”
“No,” Pinkie replied with a heavy sigh. “But the chairs are floaty. It runs on magnets somehow. I asked Twilight how it worked once, but she just kept talking and talking. Next thing I knew, she was shaking me awake and yelling about her friends never paying attention when she’s trying to teach!” Pinkie lower lip quivered slightly. “I-I did wanna know, just… not the long way, y’know?”
“That sounds safe enough...” When Pinkie’s ears drooped, she was quick to add: “Darling, I know it’s not the thrilling ride you wanted, but just bear with me, and I’ll have a surprise for you for the next one. That is... if you’ll let me pick two?”
Pinkie’s eyes grew wide. “A surprise? Ooh! Ooh! What is it?” Rearing, she placed her hooves on Rarity’s chest and leaned in close. “Am I gonna like it? No, wait!” Pinkie dropped to the ground and set her jaw. “It won’t be a surprise if you tell, and I wanna be surprised. Two picks it is!”
“Ah, thank you, love.” Rarity rewarded Pinkie’s trust with a kiss. “You shan’t regret it.”
The ride on the Ferrous Wheel was exactly as promised. Rarity had a nice, relaxing time snuggling with Pinkie. Pinkie, on the other hoof, was fidgeting like mad. She was trying, the poor thing, but merely going around in circles wasn’t terribly exciting.
Still, despite her boredom with the ride itself, Pinkie seemed happy to be there with Rarity, and so had a reasonably good time.
Stepping off the ride, however, Pinkie’s pulse quickened. A surprise was coming! She waited anxiously for it to be revealed.
Rarity, meanwhile, was feeling a bit... green. The ‘Matrimonial’ was giving her clear indications that the honeymoon was over, and was threatening to pack its bags and exit the same way it came in. She was doing her best to resolve this tiff with her stomach to ensure nothing drastic happened. “Pinkie, would you happen to know of any vendors who sell ginger ale? Or ginger cookies, anything with ginger.” At Pinkie’s blank look, she added: “Or... mint? Mint would work.”
“Uh, well, they pretty much have everything here, so… sure!” Pinkie held up a hoof. “Just give me one second.” Pinkie disappeared in a cloud of dust, tearing down the crowded pathway.
“Well, certainly—”
“Okay, I’m back!” Pinkie said, skidding to a stop. “I got you some peppermint bark from real pepper trees. And here’s some deep fried ginger dogs. Ooh! and these peppered peppermint mints!” Rummaging deeper, Pinkie pulled out several more bags. “I’ve got chocolate mint disks, and cubes, and… uh… pyramids.” She frowned at the last confection. “Do those seem pointy to you? Kinda hard to eat. Whatever, still chocolate. Anyway, there’s also gingersnaps, which Gummy likes, and ginger beer, which Berry Punch likes, and—”
“The mint disks will work, thank you,” Rarity said quickly, snatching the appropriate bag and chewing a few of them. Her stomach still felt a little sour, but was no longer threatening to rebel against her at that particular moment. She looked at the ‘pyramids’ in the other bag Pinkie had displayed. “Um... darling. Don’t eat those. You seem to have purchased a bag of oddly shaped dice.”
Pinkie fished out a pyramid and brought it up to her eye. “Huh. So that’s where those went! I was supposed to give those to Min Max three weeks ago.” Pinkie gave the die a small nibble. “Nope, definitely not mint. Maybe somepony should make those, you know, for when the game gets all long and you’ve been running around in a dungeon all night and your tummy’s all growly but you don’t want to miss out on the treasure.”
“That is why Celestia invented the potato chip, love. Well... actually no, that was a distant relative of the Apple family and—” Rarity stopped, cocking her head to one side, dumbfounded at her own words. “Why do I know this? Ugh... Do yourself a favor, if Applejack and Rainbow invite you to play drunk board games, just say no. You’ll only end up with a headache and some oddly specific Apple family history.”
Pinkie scratched her mane. “How would you play the game if somepony drank it? And how would you even do that? Like, a board game smoothie?”
“You don’t drink the game...” Rarity took a deep breath, letting it out noisily. “Nevermind. I’ll show you sometime. Now, point me towards that Powerdive. We’re going to get you that T-shirt.”
Pinkie’s mouth dropped open. “For really? Rarity, are… are you sure?”
Rarity nodded firmly, setting her face in grim determination. “You have my word.”
Pinkie ran in place, her hooves a blur, before tackling Rarity in to the nearby bushes. “Eeeee! Omigosh! Omigosh! Rarity, you’re the best! I thought maybe that kiss was the surprise, because it kind of surprised me, and I was really happy about it, but this! Oh, Rarity!” Pinkie kissed the unicorn twice. Hard the first time, eagerly, her eyes wide open and shining. Then a second time, more gently, her eyes fluttering closed. Finally, she pulled back and rested her head on Rarity’s chest. “Thank you,” she whispered.
With some trepidation, Fluttershy leaned down and sniffed the bowl that Pinkie had placed on the table before her. The soup inside was violently ochre. “Um, Pinkie—”
“Eat up! It’s good!” Pinkie spooned a heaping portion into her mouth. “Mmmm! Mggrl Fgmmlrm!” Cheeks bulging, Pinkie chewed with gusto.
“Well, okay.” Fluttershy stared at her spoon for several long seconds. “She’s trying to be nice to you,” she whispered under her breath. “You pick that spoon up right now and take a bite.” Willing her hooves to stop trembling, Fluttershy scooped up some of the soup and took the smallest bite that she thought etiquette would allow. After a moment of chewing, she turned to stare at Pinkie with wide eyes. “It’s… it’s delicious!”
A large bulge traveled down Pinkie’s throat as she swallowed a huge mouthful. “Well, of course, silly! I’m not gonna make us eat yucky soup.”
“It’s just… Nevermind,” Fluttershy said with the ghost of a smile. “But speaking of good, I thought you said your date was really terrible, but…” Fluttershy rested her cheek on her hoof and stared off into space. “I’m so sorry if I missed something, but it sounds like you two had a really nice time. Well, maybe not that carousel—”
Pinkie sighed and nodded slowly. “Yeah, that wasn’t so good. I just figured she knew, ya know? I mean, it’s a unicorn ride, and she’s a unicorn… I messed that one up.” Pinkie fought back the rising quaver in her voice. “I’m kinda always messing something up.”
“Oh, Pinkie, that’s not true at all,” Fluttershy said, rising from the table and wrapping her hooves around Pinkie, “It sounds like everything else was just lovely. I’m sure Rarity really appreciated it.”
Pinkie laid her head on Fluttershy’s shoulder and fell silent for a few moments. “Do you know why I made us weird soup, Fluttershy?” she finally said.
Fluttershy stiffened. “Huh?”
Pinkie gave her friend a final squeeze and sat down in the chair across from Fluttershy’s. “I wanted to show that if you’re brave, sometimes really great things can happen. I-I didn’t know if all that stuff would come together, but it did, didn’t it?”
Fluttershy nodded and slipped back into her own chair.
“I was brave when I trusted myself to blend the ingredients together, and then you were brave when you ate it, even when you didn’t want to.”
“I didn’t mind trying it, Pink…” Fluttershy wilted under Pinkie’s scrutinizing stare. “Okay, you’re right. I really didn’t want to eat it.”
“See? You were brave because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings. That’s what it’s all about. You’ve got something or somepony to live up to, so you just do the things that scare you, even when they’re hard. I wanted to live up to all those romantic ponies that Rarity dreams about, so I thought I’d take her to the most funnerific spot I knew of, and then we’d have such a great time that we’d end up kissing—” Pinkie flushed a deep crimson “—a-and maybe more. I didn’t know if my date idea was going to come together either, but you never know until you try. I figured it couldn’t hurt.” Pinkie swallowed hard, her voice dropping into a husky whisper. “I didn’t know how wrong I was… Or what being strong for somepony you love actually meant. Before the night was over, Rarity showed me that she’s the brave one.”
