Fear of Tomorrow; Fear of Today
Princess Luna and her sister, Princess Celestia walked through the nearly empty hallways of Canterlot Castle. The latter walked with long, confident strides, while her little sister kept glancing around nervously as if she expected something to attack her at any moment. “Are you sure I should be staying someplace so close to you, Tia? I don’t want to hurt you again.”
Celestia stopped walking and turned to stare at her sister, her eyes brimming with tears as she did so. “Luna…I don’t care about the danger. All I want is to…to be able to be near my little sister again after all these years. The past ten centuries have been torture for me.”
“Me too, sister, me too.”
“Come with me for just a moment Lulu. I want to show you something.”
Puzzled, but intrigued, Luna follows her sister as they continue walking down the hallway. Eventually they reach the door to her sister’s chambers. After pausing for a brief word with her guards, Celestia opens the door and walks in with Luna following close behind. As soon as the door shuts and Celestia turns on the lights, Luna’s jaw drops, “Wow! Since when were you such a collector sister? This room is exquisite!”
With a chuckle Celestia turns toward her sister, “I’m not a collector Lulu! Most of the things in this room are gifts from the ponies of Equestria. And that, in fact, leads me to what I wanted to show you! Wait just a moment.”
While her big sister is searching for something deep within her closet, Luna looks more closely at some of the paintings on the walls. Of course they all depict me as a monster. That’s what I was, and probably what I still am. It was stupid of me to ever think that it would be any different.
“Ah ha! Finally, found it!” Celestia exclaims as she extracts herself from the depths of the closet. In her magical grasp, she is holding what appears to be a painting.
“Tia!” Luna shouts in astonishment, “How long has that been hidden in your closet? It’s got enough dust to have been there for centuries.”
With a sheepish sort of grin, Celestia replies, “Heh, well, at least, oh, 800 years or so, give or take a few years…”
“Really Tia? Really?” Luna facehoofs. “Why would you do that?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” Celestia says as she wipes off the layers of dust with her magic. “This painting was made during the time of your imprisonment. To this day, I don’t know how the artist was able to capture this scene, but they did. And, now that you’re back, I’m extremely grateful that this painting exists. At the time it was created I wanted nothing to do with it. It reminded me too much of the truth of what happened the night I was forced to banish my dear little sister. I suppose you could say that the message hit too close to home, in a way. But now, I shall cherish this brilliant work of art, for the very same reasons that I once feared it.”
Luna stared blankly at her sister, “I’m sorry Tia, but I don’t really understand what you mean.”
Smiling gently, Celestia led Luna to a soft rug in the middle of the room where they both curled up against each other, the painting propped up in front of them, and said, “I know you don’t Luna. I haven’t given you enough information for you to understand. Give me a chance to explain before you protest too much, okay?”
Even more confused than before, but also desperately wanting to understand what her sister meant, Luna merely nodded.
Both alicorns turned to look at the painting in front of them. The scene was of the moon taking up the top half of the sky and of the sun filling the lower portion. Luna opened her mouth as if she were about to say something, but her sister interjected, “Please Lulu. Let me explain.”
For a moment Luna looks as if she wants to protest, but as she looks into Celestia’s eyes she closes her mouth. “Thank you,” Celestia sighs, “I promise that everything will soon make sense.”
They sit in silence for a few moments, Luna wondering what her sister could possibly be about to tell her, and Celestia puzzling over what she would say without offending her sister. Finally, the usually composed princess of the sun takes a deep breath and begins her tale, “Around twenty-one years after I had been forced to banish you, I finally had some time alone and away from work. I couldn’t sleep that night, and, at the time, there was only an hour or so left before I would have to raise the sun…”
Celestia stood on her balcony, which overlooked all of the castle grounds. Above her, in the night sky, the moon and all the constellations hung suspended. I feel so stupid not to have noticed how empty it is during the night. The only ponies other than myself and my guards who are awake right now are the astronomers. Of course, the main reason that they’re still awake is me. If I weren’t so horrible at placing the stars in the correct locations in the sky then even they would be sleeping.
How could I have been so blind to what Luna was feeling? How could I have been so oblivious to all that she did? Why did it have to be the banishment of my own sister that would lead me to appreciate her talent in crafting the night sky?
I’m standing here, gazing up at a sky full of millions of stars, and the moon. Oh, the moon, with its horrible reminder of the stupidest moment of my life. And of course, my constellations look nothing like Luna’s. Her night sky was a masterpiece, and mine… Well, mine looks like a foal’s first art project. I don’t think my sky can possibly ever look anything like her’s. There’s something more to it than just putting the moon and stars in the sky. I just wish I knew what, so that I can do her justice.
What are you doing now Luna? Do you feel alone, like I do, or are you angry with me? It’s just a moment before dawn and I feel as if the entirety of the universe is filling me to the brim. Memories are flooding my mind, each more painful than the last. I can see how your face was always filled with pain and sadness. I wish I could’ve seen it sooner, and been there to kiss the tears away from your eyes.
I’ve waited for you 8000 days. Now, I’ve lost all the strength that I once had. I’m no longer able to keep my emotions in check, and I just want to know…
Could you ever find it in yourself to forgive what I did to you Lulu?
I’m not sure I could, if I were in your place. I wish I had learned this lesson long ago. If I had then I know for certain that I wouldn’t have had to watch my dear little sister become a monster.
Forget the future, don’t live in the past. You’ve got to live for today, for what’s in the present. Those events are the only ones that matter, not what could happen or what has already happened. Life goes by too quickly to live for anything but the present. But now, I’ll be stuck in the past for a thousand years, waiting for you to come home. And it’s all my fault…
Blinking away the tears that formed in her eyes, Celestia looked out at the sky and realized what she had done while deep in thought. The constellations of the stars had mostly faded away while the moon and the sun split the sky in two. The moon hung on top while the sun dominated the lower part of the sky. Hoping that no one had noticed her mistake, Celestia hastily completed the sunrise in the proper way.
Now I see the truth. I’ve found the key to my mind, and someday, I’ll use it to open the door. I’m afraid of what I’ll see, but I do know that I’ll find many answers whether I wanted them or not.
Just like this morning…
“A few days later I found this painting on my balcony. Whoever made it didn’t leave a note, and, no matter how hard I looked, I never found that pony. But, until today, I have been afraid to face the reality of what this painting represents. Now though, with you back, I can get strength from its message because, now and then, it represents the most important truth of my life. A truth I never paid much attention to until after I was forced to banish you. But now I shall cherish this truth. The truth of the equality of the sun and moon. And the truth of the equal worth of those who represent the sun and moon. The truth of our equality, Lulu. I promise you that I will not continue to make the mistakes that I did a thousand years ago. Together, we will make ponies see that you aren’t somepony to be feared, but somepony to be loved. It’s the least I can do. I know that it is nowhere near enough to atone for my ignorance all those years ago, but…” Tears begin to cascade down Celestia’s cheeks and her body shudders from the force of her sobs.
“Oh, Tia…” Luna gently extends a wing over her sister’s back and hugs her tightly. “Just being back with you is enough. You don’t have to do all that.”
Celestia looks at her sister, “Of course I do Luna. I don’t care what you say. It was my fault that you became Nightmare Moon. My fault for not being a good sister and noticing when you needed me. If I hadn’t been so caught up in all the attention I was getting…”
Luna gently uses one of her wingtips to wipe away her sister’s tears. “No, Tia. It was my fault for not coming to you to explain my feelings. My fault for being stupid enough to try to deal with my emotions on my own. I need you Tia…”
“And I need you more, Lulu…”
The two sisters use their wings to fully embrace each other as they cry onto each other’s shoulders. Finally, Luna breaks the hug as she says, “I’m sorry sister, but…could you show me where my chambers are? It’s almost time for me to raise the moon.”
Celestia gasps and jumps to her hooves with a start, “Of course! I can’t believe I nearly forgot that. Come with me, and I’ll show you.”
“Thank you Tia,” Luna gets to her hooves and follows Celestia out into the hallway once again. They walk for a minute or two until Celestia stops in front of a highly polished door with a crescent moon painted on the front.
“Here we are Luna. I hope you like it.”
Luna nudges her sister with a wing. “I haven’t even seen the inside yet and I already love it!”
Chuckling, Celestia opens the door and stands aside to let Luna enter first. Once they are both inside, she closes the door and turns to watch her little sister’s reaction.
Almost immediately, Luna’s mouth drops open in awe. “Oh wow! Tia, you didn’t have to do all of this!”
“It was the least I could do to make my dear sister comfortable when she returned,” Celestia smiled. “I take it you like it then?”
“Like it, no. I love it! This is amazing! It looks more luxurious than even your own chambers.”
“It probably is. I wanted this to be perfect.”
Luna flung herself onto her sister and wrapped her in another tight hug, “And it most certainly is perfect.”
With tears forming in her eyes for the second time, Celestia returned the hug, “I love you so much Lulu…”
“I love you too Tia.” Luna squeezes her sister even more for just a moment before letting go. “I really do have to raise the moon now sister, but I’m grateful to you for having this room decorated like this. It’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me.”
“And I intend to do even nicer things as time goes on,” Celestia smiled, “But I’ll leave you to your work for now.”
Luna watched Celestia leave, and, only once the door was closed completely behind her, did she turn her attention to the sky. Walking out onto the balcony, she waited until her sister had finished lowering the sun before using her magic to reach out for the moon. As the familiar motions came back to her, Luna let herself become enveloped by her thoughts. I can’t believe Tia did all that for me. Especially the painting.
Since when was she unable to control her emotions? It seems like all that’s just happened has been a dream. I never expected Celestia to be so happy to see me; I thought she’d be mad about what I did by becoming Nightmare Moon. Maybe she does love me as much as she says she does…
My thoughts won’t let me go; it feels like my mind has become my enemy. These past thousand years it’s become a prison. A prison that shows me my worst fears. And I suppose it’s all these fears taking over my mind that make me so skeptical about everything now. I’m afraid of what will happen tomorrow; afraid of what will happen today.
I’m doing everything I possibly can to stay, to hang on, but I fear I’m losing the battle. In my mind, I’m trying to run. Doing my best to run from my fears, to run from what drove me to become a monster in the first place. My life and my virtue is at stake here, and yet I’m trying to run, just like a coward.
I can tell that I’m running out of time. I cannot live this new life of mine in constant doubt. I’ve been given a second chance, and I’ve got to seize the opportunity. Somehow, someway, I must overcome my fears, and find a way to defeat the darkness within me once and for all. I have to stop running, and find a way to stay.
Each and every moment that passes will never return. I have to take advantage of the ability to change my fate. If it’s the last thing I do, I will make myself a better pony. For me, for Celestia, for the ponies of Equestria, I swear that I will seize the moment.
I cannot and will not waste any more time. It’s time for me to leave all of my worries, all of my fears, behind and live in the moment. For all things come to an end eventually, even the bad. Just as my sister overcame her fear of that painting, I shall defeat the last remnants of Nightmare Moon that still reside within me. And I shall rise up from the shadows, and show all of the ponies of Equestria that I am no longer a monster. That I am merely a pony who wants to be loved and respected as much as any other.
I have to prove that the night is not something to be feared. It is just as beautiful as my sister’s day. Somehow, someday, I’ll make them see. And when they do, I’ll know that I have truly banished the darkness.
Luna opened her eyes, and was pleased to see that her night was as beautiful as ever. With a small smile upon her lips, she walked back into her chambers, and took a seat on the bed. After looking around for a moment, she levitated a book over to her and began to read. She had not gotten very far into the book when Celestia burst in. “I’m so sorry Luna, but there’s something you have to see.”
Luna lowered the book, “What is it?”
“Canterlot. The ponies are… well, it’s hard to explain. Come with me and it’ll make sense. I promise it’s not bad.”
Sighing Luna placed the book on her bed, and walked over to her sister, “Alright, alright. I’ll come.”
“Thank you! I promise you won’t regret it.” Celestia sets off at a brisk pace through the hallways of the castle and stops upon reaching the main doorway. “Brace yourself Luna.”
“What…?” Luna tries to ask, but cannot get the words out quickly enough, for her sister had already thrown open the doors. Immediately, Luna’s jaw drops as she sees the number of ponies gathered in front of them. “What are they all doing here?”
“Let’s find out, shall we?” Celestia steps forward.
Using her magic to turn the ponies’ attention to her, she asks, “Why have you all come here so late? Is there a problem?”
One of the ponies steps up, “We were wondering why the night looks so much better than usual. No offense, Your Highness, but the night is usually very dull. Tonight, however, it seems to shine, almost as if the stars themselves are here among us.”
Struggling to stifle a laugh, Celestia responds, “I didn’t make this night my little ponies. My sister, Princess Luna, raised the moon and stars tonight. And she will do so for the rest of time because the night is her domain, not mine.”
At the end of her short little speech, all of the ponies gathered stomped their hooves in thunderous applause. Shocked, Luna stepped up beside her sister, “All of you like my night this much?”
A loud chorus of “Yes!” came from the ponies, and the pony who had answered Celestia’s question bowed and said, “Yes, Your Majesty. Your night is the most beautiful thing we’ve ever seen. It’s wondrous, unreal almost.”
Her heart full of joy, Luna replied, “Thank you so much. I swear that I will strive to make each and every night just like this one.”
As the ponies cheered, Celestia and Luna turned back into the castle and started walking back toward their chambers. Luna manages to speak first, “They really enjoy my work? Is it possible?”
“Yes, sister. They really do enjoy your night. You have to believe it. Times have changed.”
“I see that,” Luna mused. “And whatever the reason for the difference, I’m glad things are the way they are now.”
They reach the door to Celestia’s chambers. “Me too Lulu. Goodnight, dear sister.”
“Sweet dreams Tia.” Luna continued walking until she reached her own chambers. Once inside she strode out onto her balcony and looked up at the moon. I will stop wasting time now that I know I’ve got a chance. It’s time for me to leave my worries behind, and live for the present moment, and only for that moment. All things, good and bad, come to an end. And this is the end of the Nightmare. I’m letting go of the past, and focusing on the here and now. For, forever is today…
Author's Note
Dedicated to Bluegrass Brooke for her birthday! Hope you all enjoyed!
