Meet Bill Cipherby linksbro1ChaptersAlways Watching!A Body of my Own!First Impressions!A Warm Welcome!Tip of the Hat!Always Watching!Discord sighed. It had been too long since his last random bout of chaos, and it had been taking its toll. Whenever he went into these states where he doesn't disrupt the natural order of things, he got an itching at the back of his mind, which soon turned into a chainsaw of pure agony, tearing into his very soul. Looking down at the town beneath him, he reclined back into his cotton candy cloud/sky couch. He took a moment to glance through the back of his head to look at Fluttershy's cottage. If maybe he just explained, she'd let him have a bit of fun. Some small pranks here and there, breaking the laws of the universe a bit, raising all Tartarus- Stopping himself, Discord let out another sigh. "I am sure that would go wonderfully" he mutters sarcastically, "I can picture it now, 'Hello Fluttershy! Would you mind if I let loose a bit and let the chaos flow, potentially endangering everypony and everything you know and love?'" He rolled over, taking a small bite out of his couch. There wasn't one pony who was even physically or mentally capable of sharing his love of chaos. At least, not at the same level. Sure, Pinkie Pie was a rather promising candidate, but she was only inherently chaotic, and had no love for it. Sighing for the third time in the past minutes, Discord shifts on his cloud, deciding to take a nap. Those sometimes helped. Loud snoring reigned over Ponyville as the draconequus slept, occasionally a small chuckle escaping his throat. Dreams meant he could do whatever he wanted, and not even Celestia, Luna, and the Elements of Harmony could rob him of this small pleasure. Everything was a complete mess, and it was glorious. Discord was just putting the finishing touches on his reverse maze (a maze where the purpose was to never escape) when he stopped. Something was... not right. Everything was in complete disarray, but it wasn't his surroundings that was bothering him. There was a force, comprised of... energy? What type of energy? Magical? Electric? Chaotic? Discord pushed the dream world away, entering a black void, it would be easier to concentrate here. He focused on the strange energy, but no matter how hard he tried, Discord just couldn't find out what it was. There was something about it though... It seemed... Pure. Then it slid into place, it was pure energy, comprised of every element that ever existed, could have existed, and had yet to exist. The silence was broken, as was his concentration, by a loud and sudden laugh. The laugh of a broken, insane mind. Discord whirled around, searching for the source of the laughter. "Ya know, for a creature who claims to be the god of chaos, your resume is rather disappointingly childish!" There was a bright flash, and Discord was brought face to face- or rather, face to triangle, to the owner of the manic voice "I mean, chocolate rain? Cotton candy clouds?! Turning six best friends against each other to fight among themselves so you don't have to? Total snooze fest! Where's the twist? The scare? The ultimate fright? Something that will give children and adults alike nightmares for weeks!" Discord could only gape at what was floating in front of him. A large yellow triangle was looking back at him with one large unblinking eye. It seemed to have arms and legs as well- and was that a bow tie and a top hat? It took a lot to drive Discord into a stunned silence, but this odd creature was quite capable of such a feet. "So Discord, are ya gonna just keep staring at me? Or are ya gonna say something?" The triangle's voice shook Discord out of his stunned state. "Well, who might you be? You obviously know who I am, but I'm afraid I don't know who or what you are." Discord's voice was filled to the brim with contempt mixed with amusement. "Aw, I'm hurt! The only other creature within a hundred parallel or alternate universes to share your flare for mayhem, and you don't even know his name." The triangle sobbed mockingly, his tears immediately turning into tiny flaming sharks the moment they left his... face? After a second, he stopped crying fake tears, and held out a hand. "Bill Cipher; dream demon extraordinaire, part time mind controller and full time madman!" Discord took his small hand in his paw, and shook it. "So... Bill, is there any reason you are inside my mind?" At this, Bill smirked. Or at least, it felt like he was smirking, being a triangle with no actual mouth, nose or ears made it difficult to tell. "Straight to business, I like it! Fun fact! I happen to know lots of thing. Most things actually! Like... The fact that you secretly have a crush on a pony named Fluttershy?" Bill laughed "Oh! Scandalous! You gotta tell me all the details later!" This caused Discord to splutter slightly, before Bill continued. "The thing is, I happen to know that you have the power to give me a physical form for me to occupy, I also know that you've been unable to cause too much chaos lest you risk getting turned to stone again, making that itch in your head go bonkers!" Bill clapped his hands together. "So I propose a... mutually beneficial deal." Discord was intrigued, but also distrusting. He knew what demons did when they made deals; welsh and exploit their client. But something about this odd shape made him think. What kind of demon would go to a god for a deal? Wouldn't it be easier to go to a gullible young pony who knows nothing of what he is capable of? Discord huffed as he considered, finally deciding to hear the triangle's terms. "Alright. what are your terms?" "Simple! You make a body for me, preferably identical to the one I use within the mind, and I'll clean up any chaos that you cause!" Bill paused "Although, I should put a limit on how much of my time you take each day, so you don't abuse it so I don't have a second for what I want to do... Oh! And maybe-" Bill droned on for a few minutes, Discord listening intently for any loopholes that could be used to exploit him. But after Bill stopped ranting, Discord realized that Bill left nothing unexplained, not one little thing left to the chance that Bill could pull a detail from a part of the deal he didn't explain to Discord, and pull a 'You didn't know cuz you didn't ask'. Discord was slightly taken aback. An honorable demon was unheard of. "One more question..." Discord was staring at Bill, to see if he would react in any negative way to his question. "Why do you want a body?" At this, Bill laughed. "Cuz I'm bored! Pine Tree's taking way to long with his progress, and I got bored waiting for him to get to the point where I come back in, so I thought I'd pass the time by visiting a different reality!" Suddenly, Bill stopped. "Aw dang... I forgot that visiting other universes freezes time for your conscience. NO TIME WILL PASS!" Bill shouted angrily, then sighed "Ah well, might as well visit while I'm in the neighborhood! GET IT? NEIGHBORHOOD! BECAUSE HORSES!" Bill laughed madly at his pun, Discord rolling his eyes. "So what d'ya say? Do we have a deal?" Bill outstretched his hand, which suddenly glowed with a bright blue fire. Discord considered the details Bill had given him. It was impossible for Bill to exploit any loopholes, as that was one of the details he had explained. There was no real downside to this, and besides... Discord smiled as he outstretched his paw. Bill was a riot! They shook. Hand in paw, the blue flamed engulfed them both, and less than a split second later, Discord woke up. Author's Note Two of my favorite characters from any show, movie, book, or video game come together! Twilight and here friends are not ready. A Body of my Own!*WARNING* This chapter contains cryptograms using the Caesar Cipher. If you don't want to decode them yourself, use this decoder. Candy bedding, Ponyville beneath him, nothing out of the ordinary. Was it perhaps a dream? Was Luna playing another prank on him? Discord's mind reeled, trying to figure out what had happened. "HEY!" The sudden loud noise caused him to jump. "You don't really believe it was a dream, now do you?" Discord looked up, and saw Bill hovering above him, twirling a black cane with his hand. "We have a deal. You will make me physical, or did you want to know what happens when people don't honor a deal of mine?" Bill's single eye gleamed with such delighted malice, Discord shivered. He had never seen such powerful intent behind somepony's eyes (or in this case, eye). Slowly, Discord held up his paw, but before he snapped his fingers, he paused. "If you don't have a body yet, why is it that I can see you?" Discord looked at the 3 sided figure suspiciously. Suddenly, the confidence Discord had that Bill wasn't a threat vanished in less than point 4 of a femtosecond. "Contingency plan! You don't honor your part, I destroy everything you hold dear and make your life a hundred times worse than hell! But of course, I can't effect anyone else. Only you, no one else is harmed, but you are ruined. If you thought one thousand years in stone was bad..." Bill laughed maniacally, "You need not worry about ever NOT feeling like you're in the center of the sun, your flesh and mind burning for all eternity!" Discord grimaced, fearing what Bill was capable of, and what he would do if he gave him a body. "And is there something stopping you from trying to take over Equestria?" Discord still watched Bill, trying to read every single solitary feature, looking for anything that could mean wrongful intent. "Because of the contract! You may have missed a few points as you were asleep. That can happen in dreams!" A hole suddenly appeared in the center of Bill's body, and he reached in, pulling out a piece of paper. "Now, where was it- AHA!" Bill pointed to a spot on the paper, turning it to face Discord. Bill Plvfklhi Cipher is limited to causing chaos that puts nobody/pony in harms way, and causes no lasting environmental damage, therefore; is only allowed to cause mild mayhem to the 618th degree. "That's... an interesting middle name." Discord commented uneasily. "But this does seem to prevent anything too dangerous from happening." "Yup!" Bill tipped his top hat. "So does that mean you feel it's safe enough for me to have my own body?" Discord nodded, and Bill sighed in relief. "Good, cuz it would have been a real shame if you decided to sacrifice yourself to unending pain and ruin just because of a silly misunderstanding!" Bill laughed again. Discord joined in the laugh, and held up his paw again. "I suppose you've waited long enough Bill. Identical to what I see you as right now?" Bill nodded, and Discord snapped his fingers. All of Ponyville turned to the skies as a large blue flame exploded into existence about their home. Their stares of wonder soon turned to panic, as the mysterious blue fire burned brighter. Screams erupted in the streets as ponies ran to their houses, to try and shelter themselves from the possible danger the fire posed. But while everypony else ran for cover, six brave mares ran and flew towards the flames, meeting directly underneath them. After a minute or two of ponies scrambling through town, a monstrously loud, and very distorted voice tore through their screams, causing them all to freeze. "D ERGB! ILQDOOB D ERGB WR FDOO PB RZQ! QRW MXVW VRPH ERUURZHG SLHFH RI PHDW! ORRN RXW HTXHVWULD, EHFDXVH ELOO FLSKHU LV ILQDOOB KHUH!!" Nopony could understand what the voice was yelling gleefully, but they knew that the voice was ecstatic with happiness. But as soon as that fact set in, and panic began to well up in the ponies' minds again, the flames flickered out. Looking up, they could see two figures where the large ball of blue fire had been. Quiet murmurs passed through the crowds as the elements of harmony looked up at the two figures. "What in the name of Tartarus was THAT?!" Dash asked incredulously "Beats me" Applejack replied in a stunned voice. "Er... Any ideas Twi? ... Twilight?" Applejack turned to the mare after she hadn't replied, however, Twilight had gone into panic mode, and was incapable of coherent speech. But their questions would soon be answered as they saw the two figures descend towards them. As they drew closer, Twilight and the others recognized discord, but faltered at the strange yellow triangle floating next to him, and soon enough, the figures were upon them. Discord was severely scorched, but nevertheless smiling broadly, but all eyes were on the triangle, and they could now see that it had one eye, a bow tie, a top hat and an old fashioned jet black cane. After a few moments of silence, all eyes rounded on Discord. "D- Dis..." Twilight choked out. "Wh- WHAT DID YOU DO?!" She suddenly screeched. Discord's smile was not effected by Twilight's yells, as he held out a claw towards the triangle guy. "Well hello there Twilight! Allow me introduce you girls to a new friend!" As Discord said this, Pinkie gasped with ultimate happiness. "Howdy! The name's Bill Cipher, and I can already tell that we're gonna have lots of fun in the coming weeks!" Bill cackled at the stunned expressions on their faces. "Lots of fun..." Author's Note DOO BRX QHHG WR XQGHUVWDQG LV HYHUBWKLQJ BRX NQRZ FRXOG EH D UHFLSH IRU FKHUUB MHOOR HOLY SNAP! 2 CHAPTERS IN 1 DAY? I MUST BE POSSESSED OR SOMETHING! First Impressions!*WARNING* This chapter contains cryptograms using the Atbash Cipher. If you don't want to decode them yourself, use this decoder. Nopony spoke. All was silent. Twilight was struck dumb, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were eying Bill suspiciously, Rarity had a look of confusion plastered across her muzzle, Fluttershy was staring at the blackened and singed fur of Discord with worry, Pinkie Pie… “OH. MY. GOOOOOSH!!!” The silence was not only broken, but shattered into a novemdecillion (10^60) minuscule pieces. “I’VE NEVER HEARD OF YOU? AND DISCORD SAID YOU WERE NEW! THAT MEANS YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO PONYVILLE AND BECAUSE YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO PONYVILLE THAT MEANS I’VE NEVER THROWN A WELCOME TO PONYVILLE PARTY FOR YOU, AND IF I’VE NEVER THROWN A WELCOME PARTY FOR YOU…” With an incredibly sharp and drawn out gasp, Pinkie was gone, leaving a puff of dust where she was standing an attosecond ago. “Well, who saw that coming?” Bill asked, immediately raising his hand. A second passes before five hooves and one claw are risen into the air. “Yup, just Pinkie Pie thinking she can outdo me.” Bill laughed. “So, no introductions necessary for you guys, I already know everything about you” Gesturing at each the ponies, he listed their names as he points. “Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and of course, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Bill finished with a bow. At this, Twilight could stand it no more. “WHAT ARE YOU? HOW DO YOU KNOW OUR NAMES, AND IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA, WHY IS AN EQUILATERAL TRIANGLE TALKING TO ME?” Twilight’s outburst caused Bill to laugh again. “Oh don’t worry Twilight, you’re not hallucinating, nor are you dreaming! Same goes for the rest of you guys!” Still laughing, Bill wrapped an arm around Discord’s shoulders. “Also, thank you for noticing, I work hard to keep this figure equilateral! Shooting Star was so dumb saying I was isosceles! So, you ask what I am? Can’t give a complete answer that won’t take three centuries to explain. How do I know your names? That’s because I know EVERYTHING.” At this, images flashed in his body for a moment, as if he were a TV. “YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?” Everypony’s voices clashed together. “Not at the same time, too much static noise. But! I’m able to switch out knowledge simply on a whim! For instance! TWILIGHT HAS A CRUSH ON KIRMXVHH XVOVHGRZ! ZMW IZRMYLD WZHS DIRGVH WZIRMT WL UZMURXGRLM!” Bill shouted the last sentence as loud as he could, suddenly turning a dark crimson as his words became distorted. The stunned silence returned, more prominent than ever. Twilight didn’t even know what to say. She didn’t even know what Bill had said. The only thing she heard was frighteningly distorted words. But from the looks her friends were giving her, she couldn’t help but blush a deep red. “Y- you know everything…? Sweet Celestia...” The prospect of limitless knowledge was such an appealing concept to her, but in the hooves of this weird thing… She could not remember a time where she was more frightened. Not the return of Nightmare Moon, not the return of Discord. Not even the changeling invasion or Sombra had terrified her this much. “Oh! I can tell you're scared! That’s good! If you weren’t scared of me, I’d question your sanity! However… I can tell that you-” Bill gestured to Rainbow Dash, “are just looking for a reason to charge, and I quote from Dash’s mind; ‘Beat him so hard he becomes a square!’ HA! IT’S FUNNY HOW DUMB YOU ARE!” As Bill and Discord roared with laughter, the tiny fragment of restraint still existing within Rainbow Dash was obliterated, and she pounced. “GO BACK TO GEOMETRY CLASS YOU STUPID TRIANGLE!” Dash roared as you flew straight at Bill. “-AND FREEZE FRAME!” … Nothing happened. Huh… What? What’s going on? Rainbow Dash was hanging in midair, completely still. As her thoughts raced through her head, she saw Twilight walk into her vision. "LITERALLY unlimited and unimaginable power. The last guy who did that ended up losing a lot more than just a fight.” Bill snapped his fingers and Dash fell to the ground with a resounding THUMP! “Rainbow!” Fluttershy cried, as she rushed to her best friends side. “Are you alright? He didn’t hurt you? You just froze…” As Fluttershy’s ramblings continued, Rainbow Dash waved her hoof dismissively. “I’m fine ‘Shy… That was really weird though…” “Now I don’t mean to interrupt your precious bonding time Bill, but I have a feeling a spontaneous party is about to happen…” Discord smirked. “Yup! I can tell it’s coming!” Bill chuckled in reply, looking at a watch that suddenly appeared on his wrist. “SIX! FOUR! ONE POINT SEVEN SIX! ZER-” Bill was cut off as the world exploded around them. Author's Note R DLMWVI DSZG GLMTFV GZHGVH ORPV... Sorry for the delay for such a short chapter, I will do my best to update more frequently with longer chapters. A Warm Welcome!With a loud bang, and a bright flash, everypony was blinded, except of course Bill and Discord, who had quickly put on sunglasses (or in Bill’s case, sun-monocle). Just as suddenly as the noise and flash had appeared, dozens and dozens of ponies surrounded the previously small group of 7. Streamers and confetti were falling from the sky, tables were set up with bowls of punch and baked goodies topping them. Above them was a large banner with ‘WELCOME TO EQUESTRIA BILL CIPHER!’ written in large colourful lettering, the ‘A’ in Equestria was painted to look like a triangle with a single eye in the center. “Holly blammabooth! Three and a half minutes to organize the party, and 618 milliseconds to set it up!” Bill exclaimed with glee. “That’s gotta be a new multi-universal/dimensional record!” Discord and Rainbow Dash were rolling on the ground, clutching their sides and bellowing with intense laughter. Fluttershy had curled up into a tiny ball at the loud noise, Rarity had summoned her fainting couch, and promptly used it to - what else - faint. Applejack and Twilight however, had stood still as statues in complete and utter shock. “IT MEANS WE ARE POSSIBLY THE MOST FUN LIVING THINGS TO EVER EXIST IN ANY UNIVERSE OR DIMENSION EVER! I CAN’T MESS THIS UP! IT IS GOING TO BE MORE FUN THAN EVERY SINGLE HOLIDAY COMBINED INTO ONE GLORIOUS ULTIMATE PARTY DAY!” “Well Pinkie,” Bill cut in, before Pinkie’s train of thought would become unstoppable, “There are many different interpretations of… ‘fun’. But with your idea of fun, I can confirm you are the number negative-twelve most FUN living creature to ever exist!” This caused Pinkie to gasp so loudly, it could be heard across Equestria. “OH. MY. GOSH! NUMBER NEGATIVE-TWELVE? THAT’S EVEN BETTER THAN NUMBER ONE! IT’S EVEN BETTER THAN ZERO!” As Bill and Pinkie continued shouting with each other, Twilight turned towards Discord, still laughing, giving him an angry glare. “Discord?” Her voice barely above a whisper, laced with fury, “What, in all the world, would make you think it was a good idea to bring an ‘all knowing’, ‘all powerful’ monster into Equestria?!?” Discord merely continued laughing, Twilight’s death stare making him laugh even harder. “This is going to be just… wonderful” Twilight groaned “I better inform Princess Celest-” “NOW THAT’S A GREAT IDEA TWI!” Twilight nearly jumped out of her coat from shock. She rounded on Bill, her fury only rising. “WHAT? WHAT IS A GREAT IDEA? WHAT, PRAY TELL, ARE YOU PLANNING?” She all but screeched. “Yeesh Sparkle, calm your eggheadedness! I, as an all seeing all powerful monster” Bill paused as he gave Twilight a playful look, “I should think that my welcoming party should have the co-rulers of Equestria in attendance! You know, so they can immediately think I’m a threat, I can be a complete goof while still showing how outclassed they are in terms of power, so they fear me yet are quite fascinated by my complete- what was that word he used?” Bill summoned a small piece of paper, reading it carefully. “‘Adorkable-ness’? WHAT IS THIS TRAVESTY AGAINST PROPER LANGUAGE, AND CAN I MARRY IT?” Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash all decided silently to slowly melt into the crowds of party-going ponies. Luckily, Bill was busy trying to peel a giggling Pinkie Pie off of him with a spatula. Twilight decided to stay to keep a close eye on Bill, while Rarity was still ‘fainted’ on her couch. “This is real fun! But in all seriousness Pinks, the Celestial Sisters ARE going to want to see me. SO OFF YOU GET!” Bill disappears in a flash yellow, leaving Pinkie behind to land unceremoniously on the ground, before reappearing right behind Twilight, and yelling in her ear. “YO SPARKLE! GET READY, I’M GONNA POOF ‘EM HERE IN A SEC!” “Wait what? What do you mean ‘poof’?” But before Twilight could receive a verbal answer, she got a demonstrative answer. “-nobles. I myself would have banished every single one of the ungrateful lot-” Luna cut herself off from her conversation with her sister as she realized she was no longer in the castle. In front of Twilight sat both Celestia and Luna, and by the looks of it, they had been in the middle of lunch together, as Celestia still held a teacup in her magic, while Luna held a croissant. Both sisters looked rather startled by the change of scenery, but settled once they spotted Twilight. “Well, Twilight, this is rather unexpected” Celestia stated. “Yes, well, some...thing, wanted to meet you two” She uttered begrudgingly, motioning towards the floating triangle. “HELLO!” The sisters stared blankly at the shape, confused by the events that were befalling them. “Well… Hello.” Celestia said carefully. “And who… or what... might you be?” “My name is Bill Cipher your Celestial Majesties!” Bill said with glee, bowing so low, he began doing somersaults in the air. “Oh, um…” Luna muttered, raising an eyebrow at her sister. “Well… Bill, I do not believe we have ever seen a creature like you before. What are you?” “I’m a being of pure energy!” Bill replied, knowing what was coming. Celestia nearly spit out the tea she was sipping, while Luna dropped the croissant. Both wore looks of shock, apprehension, and fear across their muzzles. “Is that even possible?” Luna muttered to her sister. “Maybe… But never have I found anything to indicate such a thing is possible” Celestia replied in an equally quiet mutter. Straightening up, the sisters addressed Bill. “Bill Cipher” Celestia and Luna began in unison. “on behalf of our kingdom, we welcome you to Equestria!” Author's Note MAYBE THE WORLD CAN BE AS SWEET, AS POTATOES AND MOLASSES Sorry for the delay. You may realize by now that I suck at getting words out XD Constructive Criticism is welcome Tip of the Hat!“Thank you for such a friendly greeting Princesses!” Bill exclaimed. “I tip my hat to you!” Bill reached up to the brim of his top hat, tipping it forward. But as it tilted off of his head (point?), everypony felt their weight shift. Everypony looked round to the source of this strange feeling. As Bill’s hat tipped more, ponies began sliding across the ground, shouting in surprise. As Twilight looked back up to Bill as she held herself in place with her magic, she immediately connected the dots. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Twilight shouted. Bill turned to face her, an amused expression on his face(?). “I’m tipping gravity!” He said simply. Nopony was amused with his actions, other than Pinkie, who had such a delicate relationship with the laws of physics that even the slightest change would drastically affect her. She laughed uncontrollably as she floated in random directions, bumping into trees, buildings, and shop stalls. “Well… Stop doing that!” Twilight snarled. At the angry look across her visage, Bill chuckled. “You should lighten up Sparkle! I thought that you’d be going loco by now, trying to study me for science!” Bill did however concede. Straightening his top hat, gravity returned to normal, causing everypony to stop sliding, and Pinkie fall from above, shrieking in glee. Celestia and Luna shared a look. Confusion. Apprehension. Curiosity. Fear. Many more emotions were exchanged in the small glance, and both were thinking the same thing. This strange being was powerful, and obviously had little to no consideration for those around him. “I will not ‘lighten up’.” Twilight stated firmly. This only caused Bill to laugh. “It’s funny when you don’t understand something! You get so frustrated, it amuses me to no end how cute you are!” Bill retorted playfully. With an exasperated ‘UUUGGGHH!’, Twilight turned and stomped off angrily. “Awww, did I upset you? I’m sorry, I’m only trying to have some fun” Bill said with a mix of sincerity and teasing before turning to the sisters. “SO! This is awkward! Let’s just get the party started to avoid any further frustration and/or distrust!” “YA! NO MORE FROWNIES! IT’S PARTY TIME!” Pinkie yelled gleefully, appearing suddenly between Celestia and Luna. At Pinkie’s loud declaration, the ponies populating the square gave a cheer, and continued idly chatting amongst themselves as music emanated from speakers scattered around the general area. “Ah well!” Bill sniffed “I guess this is the part where we go and be social, Princesses! I guess I’ll talk to you later after you both decide on whether or not I’m a threat to Equestria!” With that, Bill hovered off into the crowd. “He’s… Rather odd.” Luna remarked. “Obviously has power, though I am unsure of his intentions.” “Indeed” Celestia replied, “The most off putting thing is how bluntly he says things. ‘To avoid any further frustration and/or distrust’? ‘ I’ll talk to you later after you both decide on whether or not I’m a threat to Equestria’? It is possible he’s just here to have a good time…” “But what does ‘a good time’ entail? We both know Discord’s idea of ‘a good time’.” Celestia paused at her sister’s comment. “For now, we observe, and do nothing that might cause him to think of us as enemies.” Bill, hovering amongst the crowd, idly chatted with random ponies. Answering questions (“Yes! Zombies DO exist, but not in this universe. Such a shame…”), and other chatter (“Hey! Did you know that if you take an egg, some chocolate and 600,000 tons of poison joke, you can create a portal to easter land?”). Between these brief exchanges, Bill was searching for six certain ponies. The same six ponies who had caught his attention years ago, and finally after years of waiting for the perfect opportunity, he was finally going to have some fun with them. As his eye scanned the crowd, he finally spotted Rainbow Dash filling a plastic cup with punch. Quickly zooming over, he waited for her to finish pouring. “YYYEEELLO!” Bill exclaimed, startling Dash into nearly spilling her drink. Looking round, she sighs in exasperation when her eyes lay on Bill. “Not. Cool.” Dash said through gritted teeth. “I know! Usually for this time of year the temperature would be lower! What month is it?” Bill looked at his wrist. “Oh look at that! It’s October!” Rainbow Dash looked at Bill’s wrist. He was not wearing a watch. “The twelfth. To be exact” Dash turned back to the punch bowl. “Whaddya want?” “I’m doing a socials!” Bill exclaimed with glee. Rainbow Dash paused as she tried to process what Bill had said. “You’re doing a…. what??” “A socials! Apparently flesh bags interact with talking-ness at parties, so I decided to give it a try!” Rainbow Dash didn’t know what to think. Was this thing mocking her… or just stupid? “Uh, ya, you know, talking and stuff. That’s social, sure.” Dash prayed the talking triangle guy would just leave her alone. The guy freaked her out. “Oh hey! If I know correctly- and I always do- you like pranks!” Bill circled to Dash’s front, so she was looking at him. “What does that matter?” Dash tried to turn away again, only to have Bill stay directly in front of her as she turned. “I thought you might be interested in one prank that I have lined up!” Bill looked at her expectantly. Rainbow Dash considered her options. She could just tell the top hat wearing jerk to get lost, and hope for the best, or… Curiosity got the better of her as she gazed at Bill. What had this guy come up with? “Alright” She uttered, giving in. “What've you got?” Author's Note Sometimes, you just gotta bite the bullet and spit it back out, assassinating a US president! Dear god I am so sorry for the wait. Between school, stress, losing my mind, and lack of motivation, not a lot of writing got done. I am hoping to work on this more, and I am not planning to use ciphers as often due to not everyone knowing what to do with them.
Always Watching!Discord sighed. It had been too long since his last random bout of chaos, and it had been taking its toll. Whenever he went into these states where he doesn't disrupt the natural order of things, he got an itching at the back of his mind, which soon turned into a chainsaw of pure agony, tearing into his very soul. Looking down at the town beneath him, he reclined back into his cotton candy cloud/sky couch. He took a moment to glance through the back of his head to look at Fluttershy's cottage. If maybe he just explained, she'd let him have a bit of fun. Some small pranks here and there, breaking the laws of the universe a bit, raising all Tartarus- Stopping himself, Discord let out another sigh. "I am sure that would go wonderfully" he mutters sarcastically, "I can picture it now, 'Hello Fluttershy! Would you mind if I let loose a bit and let the chaos flow, potentially endangering everypony and everything you know and love?'" He rolled over, taking a small bite out of his couch. There wasn't one pony who was even physically or mentally capable of sharing his love of chaos. At least, not at the same level. Sure, Pinkie Pie was a rather promising candidate, but she was only inherently chaotic, and had no love for it. Sighing for the third time in the past minutes, Discord shifts on his cloud, deciding to take a nap. Those sometimes helped. Loud snoring reigned over Ponyville as the draconequus slept, occasionally a small chuckle escaping his throat. Dreams meant he could do whatever he wanted, and not even Celestia, Luna, and the Elements of Harmony could rob him of this small pleasure. Everything was a complete mess, and it was glorious. Discord was just putting the finishing touches on his reverse maze (a maze where the purpose was to never escape) when he stopped. Something was... not right. Everything was in complete disarray, but it wasn't his surroundings that was bothering him. There was a force, comprised of... energy? What type of energy? Magical? Electric? Chaotic? Discord pushed the dream world away, entering a black void, it would be easier to concentrate here. He focused on the strange energy, but no matter how hard he tried, Discord just couldn't find out what it was. There was something about it though... It seemed... Pure. Then it slid into place, it was pure energy, comprised of every element that ever existed, could have existed, and had yet to exist. The silence was broken, as was his concentration, by a loud and sudden laugh. The laugh of a broken, insane mind. Discord whirled around, searching for the source of the laughter. "Ya know, for a creature who claims to be the god of chaos, your resume is rather disappointingly childish!" There was a bright flash, and Discord was brought face to face- or rather, face to triangle, to the owner of the manic voice "I mean, chocolate rain? Cotton candy clouds?! Turning six best friends against each other to fight among themselves so you don't have to? Total snooze fest! Where's the twist? The scare? The ultimate fright? Something that will give children and adults alike nightmares for weeks!" Discord could only gape at what was floating in front of him. A large yellow triangle was looking back at him with one large unblinking eye. It seemed to have arms and legs as well- and was that a bow tie and a top hat? It took a lot to drive Discord into a stunned silence, but this odd creature was quite capable of such a feet. "So Discord, are ya gonna just keep staring at me? Or are ya gonna say something?" The triangle's voice shook Discord out of his stunned state. "Well, who might you be? You obviously know who I am, but I'm afraid I don't know who or what you are." Discord's voice was filled to the brim with contempt mixed with amusement. "Aw, I'm hurt! The only other creature within a hundred parallel or alternate universes to share your flare for mayhem, and you don't even know his name." The triangle sobbed mockingly, his tears immediately turning into tiny flaming sharks the moment they left his... face? After a second, he stopped crying fake tears, and held out a hand. "Bill Cipher; dream demon extraordinaire, part time mind controller and full time madman!" Discord took his small hand in his paw, and shook it. "So... Bill, is there any reason you are inside my mind?" At this, Bill smirked. Or at least, it felt like he was smirking, being a triangle with no actual mouth, nose or ears made it difficult to tell. "Straight to business, I like it! Fun fact! I happen to know lots of thing. Most things actually! Like... The fact that you secretly have a crush on a pony named Fluttershy?" Bill laughed "Oh! Scandalous! You gotta tell me all the details later!" This caused Discord to splutter slightly, before Bill continued. "The thing is, I happen to know that you have the power to give me a physical form for me to occupy, I also know that you've been unable to cause too much chaos lest you risk getting turned to stone again, making that itch in your head go bonkers!" Bill clapped his hands together. "So I propose a... mutually beneficial deal." Discord was intrigued, but also distrusting. He knew what demons did when they made deals; welsh and exploit their client. But something about this odd shape made him think. What kind of demon would go to a god for a deal? Wouldn't it be easier to go to a gullible young pony who knows nothing of what he is capable of? Discord huffed as he considered, finally deciding to hear the triangle's terms. "Alright. what are your terms?" "Simple! You make a body for me, preferably identical to the one I use within the mind, and I'll clean up any chaos that you cause!" Bill paused "Although, I should put a limit on how much of my time you take each day, so you don't abuse it so I don't have a second for what I want to do... Oh! And maybe-" Bill droned on for a few minutes, Discord listening intently for any loopholes that could be used to exploit him. But after Bill stopped ranting, Discord realized that Bill left nothing unexplained, not one little thing left to the chance that Bill could pull a detail from a part of the deal he didn't explain to Discord, and pull a 'You didn't know cuz you didn't ask'. Discord was slightly taken aback. An honorable demon was unheard of. "One more question..." Discord was staring at Bill, to see if he would react in any negative way to his question. "Why do you want a body?" At this, Bill laughed. "Cuz I'm bored! Pine Tree's taking way to long with his progress, and I got bored waiting for him to get to the point where I come back in, so I thought I'd pass the time by visiting a different reality!" Suddenly, Bill stopped. "Aw dang... I forgot that visiting other universes freezes time for your conscience. NO TIME WILL PASS!" Bill shouted angrily, then sighed "Ah well, might as well visit while I'm in the neighborhood! GET IT? NEIGHBORHOOD! BECAUSE HORSES!" Bill laughed madly at his pun, Discord rolling his eyes. "So what d'ya say? Do we have a deal?" Bill outstretched his hand, which suddenly glowed with a bright blue fire. Discord considered the details Bill had given him. It was impossible for Bill to exploit any loopholes, as that was one of the details he had explained. There was no real downside to this, and besides... Discord smiled as he outstretched his paw. Bill was a riot! They shook. Hand in paw, the blue flamed engulfed them both, and less than a split second later, Discord woke up. Author's Note Two of my favorite characters from any show, movie, book, or video game come together! Twilight and here friends are not ready.
A Body of my Own!*WARNING* This chapter contains cryptograms using the Caesar Cipher. If you don't want to decode them yourself, use this decoder. Candy bedding, Ponyville beneath him, nothing out of the ordinary. Was it perhaps a dream? Was Luna playing another prank on him? Discord's mind reeled, trying to figure out what had happened. "HEY!" The sudden loud noise caused him to jump. "You don't really believe it was a dream, now do you?" Discord looked up, and saw Bill hovering above him, twirling a black cane with his hand. "We have a deal. You will make me physical, or did you want to know what happens when people don't honor a deal of mine?" Bill's single eye gleamed with such delighted malice, Discord shivered. He had never seen such powerful intent behind somepony's eyes (or in this case, eye). Slowly, Discord held up his paw, but before he snapped his fingers, he paused. "If you don't have a body yet, why is it that I can see you?" Discord looked at the 3 sided figure suspiciously. Suddenly, the confidence Discord had that Bill wasn't a threat vanished in less than point 4 of a femtosecond. "Contingency plan! You don't honor your part, I destroy everything you hold dear and make your life a hundred times worse than hell! But of course, I can't effect anyone else. Only you, no one else is harmed, but you are ruined. If you thought one thousand years in stone was bad..." Bill laughed maniacally, "You need not worry about ever NOT feeling like you're in the center of the sun, your flesh and mind burning for all eternity!" Discord grimaced, fearing what Bill was capable of, and what he would do if he gave him a body. "And is there something stopping you from trying to take over Equestria?" Discord still watched Bill, trying to read every single solitary feature, looking for anything that could mean wrongful intent. "Because of the contract! You may have missed a few points as you were asleep. That can happen in dreams!" A hole suddenly appeared in the center of Bill's body, and he reached in, pulling out a piece of paper. "Now, where was it- AHA!" Bill pointed to a spot on the paper, turning it to face Discord. Bill Plvfklhi Cipher is limited to causing chaos that puts nobody/pony in harms way, and causes no lasting environmental damage, therefore; is only allowed to cause mild mayhem to the 618th degree. "That's... an interesting middle name." Discord commented uneasily. "But this does seem to prevent anything too dangerous from happening." "Yup!" Bill tipped his top hat. "So does that mean you feel it's safe enough for me to have my own body?" Discord nodded, and Bill sighed in relief. "Good, cuz it would have been a real shame if you decided to sacrifice yourself to unending pain and ruin just because of a silly misunderstanding!" Bill laughed again. Discord joined in the laugh, and held up his paw again. "I suppose you've waited long enough Bill. Identical to what I see you as right now?" Bill nodded, and Discord snapped his fingers. All of Ponyville turned to the skies as a large blue flame exploded into existence about their home. Their stares of wonder soon turned to panic, as the mysterious blue fire burned brighter. Screams erupted in the streets as ponies ran to their houses, to try and shelter themselves from the possible danger the fire posed. But while everypony else ran for cover, six brave mares ran and flew towards the flames, meeting directly underneath them. After a minute or two of ponies scrambling through town, a monstrously loud, and very distorted voice tore through their screams, causing them all to freeze. "D ERGB! ILQDOOB D ERGB WR FDOO PB RZQ! QRW MXVW VRPH ERUURZHG SLHFH RI PHDW! ORRN RXW HTXHVWULD, EHFDXVH ELOO FLSKHU LV ILQDOOB KHUH!!" Nopony could understand what the voice was yelling gleefully, but they knew that the voice was ecstatic with happiness. But as soon as that fact set in, and panic began to well up in the ponies' minds again, the flames flickered out. Looking up, they could see two figures where the large ball of blue fire had been. Quiet murmurs passed through the crowds as the elements of harmony looked up at the two figures. "What in the name of Tartarus was THAT?!" Dash asked incredulously "Beats me" Applejack replied in a stunned voice. "Er... Any ideas Twi? ... Twilight?" Applejack turned to the mare after she hadn't replied, however, Twilight had gone into panic mode, and was incapable of coherent speech. But their questions would soon be answered as they saw the two figures descend towards them. As they drew closer, Twilight and the others recognized discord, but faltered at the strange yellow triangle floating next to him, and soon enough, the figures were upon them. Discord was severely scorched, but nevertheless smiling broadly, but all eyes were on the triangle, and they could now see that it had one eye, a bow tie, a top hat and an old fashioned jet black cane. After a few moments of silence, all eyes rounded on Discord. "D- Dis..." Twilight choked out. "Wh- WHAT DID YOU DO?!" She suddenly screeched. Discord's smile was not effected by Twilight's yells, as he held out a claw towards the triangle guy. "Well hello there Twilight! Allow me introduce you girls to a new friend!" As Discord said this, Pinkie gasped with ultimate happiness. "Howdy! The name's Bill Cipher, and I can already tell that we're gonna have lots of fun in the coming weeks!" Bill cackled at the stunned expressions on their faces. "Lots of fun..." Author's Note DOO BRX QHHG WR XQGHUVWDQG LV HYHUBWKLQJ BRX NQRZ FRXOG EH D UHFLSH IRU FKHUUB MHOOR HOLY SNAP! 2 CHAPTERS IN 1 DAY? I MUST BE POSSESSED OR SOMETHING!
First Impressions!*WARNING* This chapter contains cryptograms using the Atbash Cipher. If you don't want to decode them yourself, use this decoder. Nopony spoke. All was silent. Twilight was struck dumb, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were eying Bill suspiciously, Rarity had a look of confusion plastered across her muzzle, Fluttershy was staring at the blackened and singed fur of Discord with worry, Pinkie Pie… “OH. MY. GOOOOOSH!!!” The silence was not only broken, but shattered into a novemdecillion (10^60) minuscule pieces. “I’VE NEVER HEARD OF YOU? AND DISCORD SAID YOU WERE NEW! THAT MEANS YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO PONYVILLE AND BECAUSE YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO PONYVILLE THAT MEANS I’VE NEVER THROWN A WELCOME TO PONYVILLE PARTY FOR YOU, AND IF I’VE NEVER THROWN A WELCOME PARTY FOR YOU…” With an incredibly sharp and drawn out gasp, Pinkie was gone, leaving a puff of dust where she was standing an attosecond ago. “Well, who saw that coming?” Bill asked, immediately raising his hand. A second passes before five hooves and one claw are risen into the air. “Yup, just Pinkie Pie thinking she can outdo me.” Bill laughed. “So, no introductions necessary for you guys, I already know everything about you” Gesturing at each the ponies, he listed their names as he points. “Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and of course, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Bill finished with a bow. At this, Twilight could stand it no more. “WHAT ARE YOU? HOW DO YOU KNOW OUR NAMES, AND IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA, WHY IS AN EQUILATERAL TRIANGLE TALKING TO ME?” Twilight’s outburst caused Bill to laugh again. “Oh don’t worry Twilight, you’re not hallucinating, nor are you dreaming! Same goes for the rest of you guys!” Still laughing, Bill wrapped an arm around Discord’s shoulders. “Also, thank you for noticing, I work hard to keep this figure equilateral! Shooting Star was so dumb saying I was isosceles! So, you ask what I am? Can’t give a complete answer that won’t take three centuries to explain. How do I know your names? That’s because I know EVERYTHING.” At this, images flashed in his body for a moment, as if he were a TV. “YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?” Everypony’s voices clashed together. “Not at the same time, too much static noise. But! I’m able to switch out knowledge simply on a whim! For instance! TWILIGHT HAS A CRUSH ON KIRMXVHH XVOVHGRZ! ZMW IZRMYLD WZHS DIRGVH WZIRMT WL UZMURXGRLM!” Bill shouted the last sentence as loud as he could, suddenly turning a dark crimson as his words became distorted. The stunned silence returned, more prominent than ever. Twilight didn’t even know what to say. She didn’t even know what Bill had said. The only thing she heard was frighteningly distorted words. But from the looks her friends were giving her, she couldn’t help but blush a deep red. “Y- you know everything…? Sweet Celestia...” The prospect of limitless knowledge was such an appealing concept to her, but in the hooves of this weird thing… She could not remember a time where she was more frightened. Not the return of Nightmare Moon, not the return of Discord. Not even the changeling invasion or Sombra had terrified her this much. “Oh! I can tell you're scared! That’s good! If you weren’t scared of me, I’d question your sanity! However… I can tell that you-” Bill gestured to Rainbow Dash, “are just looking for a reason to charge, and I quote from Dash’s mind; ‘Beat him so hard he becomes a square!’ HA! IT’S FUNNY HOW DUMB YOU ARE!” As Bill and Discord roared with laughter, the tiny fragment of restraint still existing within Rainbow Dash was obliterated, and she pounced. “GO BACK TO GEOMETRY CLASS YOU STUPID TRIANGLE!” Dash roared as you flew straight at Bill. “-AND FREEZE FRAME!” … Nothing happened. Huh… What? What’s going on? Rainbow Dash was hanging in midair, completely still. As her thoughts raced through her head, she saw Twilight walk into her vision. "LITERALLY unlimited and unimaginable power. The last guy who did that ended up losing a lot more than just a fight.” Bill snapped his fingers and Dash fell to the ground with a resounding THUMP! “Rainbow!” Fluttershy cried, as she rushed to her best friends side. “Are you alright? He didn’t hurt you? You just froze…” As Fluttershy’s ramblings continued, Rainbow Dash waved her hoof dismissively. “I’m fine ‘Shy… That was really weird though…” “Now I don’t mean to interrupt your precious bonding time Bill, but I have a feeling a spontaneous party is about to happen…” Discord smirked. “Yup! I can tell it’s coming!” Bill chuckled in reply, looking at a watch that suddenly appeared on his wrist. “SIX! FOUR! ONE POINT SEVEN SIX! ZER-” Bill was cut off as the world exploded around them. Author's Note R DLMWVI DSZG GLMTFV GZHGVH ORPV... Sorry for the delay for such a short chapter, I will do my best to update more frequently with longer chapters.
A Warm Welcome!With a loud bang, and a bright flash, everypony was blinded, except of course Bill and Discord, who had quickly put on sunglasses (or in Bill’s case, sun-monocle). Just as suddenly as the noise and flash had appeared, dozens and dozens of ponies surrounded the previously small group of 7. Streamers and confetti were falling from the sky, tables were set up with bowls of punch and baked goodies topping them. Above them was a large banner with ‘WELCOME TO EQUESTRIA BILL CIPHER!’ written in large colourful lettering, the ‘A’ in Equestria was painted to look like a triangle with a single eye in the center. “Holly blammabooth! Three and a half minutes to organize the party, and 618 milliseconds to set it up!” Bill exclaimed with glee. “That’s gotta be a new multi-universal/dimensional record!” Discord and Rainbow Dash were rolling on the ground, clutching their sides and bellowing with intense laughter. Fluttershy had curled up into a tiny ball at the loud noise, Rarity had summoned her fainting couch, and promptly used it to - what else - faint. Applejack and Twilight however, had stood still as statues in complete and utter shock. “IT MEANS WE ARE POSSIBLY THE MOST FUN LIVING THINGS TO EVER EXIST IN ANY UNIVERSE OR DIMENSION EVER! I CAN’T MESS THIS UP! IT IS GOING TO BE MORE FUN THAN EVERY SINGLE HOLIDAY COMBINED INTO ONE GLORIOUS ULTIMATE PARTY DAY!” “Well Pinkie,” Bill cut in, before Pinkie’s train of thought would become unstoppable, “There are many different interpretations of… ‘fun’. But with your idea of fun, I can confirm you are the number negative-twelve most FUN living creature to ever exist!” This caused Pinkie to gasp so loudly, it could be heard across Equestria. “OH. MY. GOSH! NUMBER NEGATIVE-TWELVE? THAT’S EVEN BETTER THAN NUMBER ONE! IT’S EVEN BETTER THAN ZERO!” As Bill and Pinkie continued shouting with each other, Twilight turned towards Discord, still laughing, giving him an angry glare. “Discord?” Her voice barely above a whisper, laced with fury, “What, in all the world, would make you think it was a good idea to bring an ‘all knowing’, ‘all powerful’ monster into Equestria?!?” Discord merely continued laughing, Twilight’s death stare making him laugh even harder. “This is going to be just… wonderful” Twilight groaned “I better inform Princess Celest-” “NOW THAT’S A GREAT IDEA TWI!” Twilight nearly jumped out of her coat from shock. She rounded on Bill, her fury only rising. “WHAT? WHAT IS A GREAT IDEA? WHAT, PRAY TELL, ARE YOU PLANNING?” She all but screeched. “Yeesh Sparkle, calm your eggheadedness! I, as an all seeing all powerful monster” Bill paused as he gave Twilight a playful look, “I should think that my welcoming party should have the co-rulers of Equestria in attendance! You know, so they can immediately think I’m a threat, I can be a complete goof while still showing how outclassed they are in terms of power, so they fear me yet are quite fascinated by my complete- what was that word he used?” Bill summoned a small piece of paper, reading it carefully. “‘Adorkable-ness’? WHAT IS THIS TRAVESTY AGAINST PROPER LANGUAGE, AND CAN I MARRY IT?” Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash all decided silently to slowly melt into the crowds of party-going ponies. Luckily, Bill was busy trying to peel a giggling Pinkie Pie off of him with a spatula. Twilight decided to stay to keep a close eye on Bill, while Rarity was still ‘fainted’ on her couch. “This is real fun! But in all seriousness Pinks, the Celestial Sisters ARE going to want to see me. SO OFF YOU GET!” Bill disappears in a flash yellow, leaving Pinkie behind to land unceremoniously on the ground, before reappearing right behind Twilight, and yelling in her ear. “YO SPARKLE! GET READY, I’M GONNA POOF ‘EM HERE IN A SEC!” “Wait what? What do you mean ‘poof’?” But before Twilight could receive a verbal answer, she got a demonstrative answer. “-nobles. I myself would have banished every single one of the ungrateful lot-” Luna cut herself off from her conversation with her sister as she realized she was no longer in the castle. In front of Twilight sat both Celestia and Luna, and by the looks of it, they had been in the middle of lunch together, as Celestia still held a teacup in her magic, while Luna held a croissant. Both sisters looked rather startled by the change of scenery, but settled once they spotted Twilight. “Well, Twilight, this is rather unexpected” Celestia stated. “Yes, well, some...thing, wanted to meet you two” She uttered begrudgingly, motioning towards the floating triangle. “HELLO!” The sisters stared blankly at the shape, confused by the events that were befalling them. “Well… Hello.” Celestia said carefully. “And who… or what... might you be?” “My name is Bill Cipher your Celestial Majesties!” Bill said with glee, bowing so low, he began doing somersaults in the air. “Oh, um…” Luna muttered, raising an eyebrow at her sister. “Well… Bill, I do not believe we have ever seen a creature like you before. What are you?” “I’m a being of pure energy!” Bill replied, knowing what was coming. Celestia nearly spit out the tea she was sipping, while Luna dropped the croissant. Both wore looks of shock, apprehension, and fear across their muzzles. “Is that even possible?” Luna muttered to her sister. “Maybe… But never have I found anything to indicate such a thing is possible” Celestia replied in an equally quiet mutter. Straightening up, the sisters addressed Bill. “Bill Cipher” Celestia and Luna began in unison. “on behalf of our kingdom, we welcome you to Equestria!” Author's Note MAYBE THE WORLD CAN BE AS SWEET, AS POTATOES AND MOLASSES Sorry for the delay. You may realize by now that I suck at getting words out XD Constructive Criticism is welcome
Tip of the Hat!“Thank you for such a friendly greeting Princesses!” Bill exclaimed. “I tip my hat to you!” Bill reached up to the brim of his top hat, tipping it forward. But as it tilted off of his head (point?), everypony felt their weight shift. Everypony looked round to the source of this strange feeling. As Bill’s hat tipped more, ponies began sliding across the ground, shouting in surprise. As Twilight looked back up to Bill as she held herself in place with her magic, she immediately connected the dots. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Twilight shouted. Bill turned to face her, an amused expression on his face(?). “I’m tipping gravity!” He said simply. Nopony was amused with his actions, other than Pinkie, who had such a delicate relationship with the laws of physics that even the slightest change would drastically affect her. She laughed uncontrollably as she floated in random directions, bumping into trees, buildings, and shop stalls. “Well… Stop doing that!” Twilight snarled. At the angry look across her visage, Bill chuckled. “You should lighten up Sparkle! I thought that you’d be going loco by now, trying to study me for science!” Bill did however concede. Straightening his top hat, gravity returned to normal, causing everypony to stop sliding, and Pinkie fall from above, shrieking in glee. Celestia and Luna shared a look. Confusion. Apprehension. Curiosity. Fear. Many more emotions were exchanged in the small glance, and both were thinking the same thing. This strange being was powerful, and obviously had little to no consideration for those around him. “I will not ‘lighten up’.” Twilight stated firmly. This only caused Bill to laugh. “It’s funny when you don’t understand something! You get so frustrated, it amuses me to no end how cute you are!” Bill retorted playfully. With an exasperated ‘UUUGGGHH!’, Twilight turned and stomped off angrily. “Awww, did I upset you? I’m sorry, I’m only trying to have some fun” Bill said with a mix of sincerity and teasing before turning to the sisters. “SO! This is awkward! Let’s just get the party started to avoid any further frustration and/or distrust!” “YA! NO MORE FROWNIES! IT’S PARTY TIME!” Pinkie yelled gleefully, appearing suddenly between Celestia and Luna. At Pinkie’s loud declaration, the ponies populating the square gave a cheer, and continued idly chatting amongst themselves as music emanated from speakers scattered around the general area. “Ah well!” Bill sniffed “I guess this is the part where we go and be social, Princesses! I guess I’ll talk to you later after you both decide on whether or not I’m a threat to Equestria!” With that, Bill hovered off into the crowd. “He’s… Rather odd.” Luna remarked. “Obviously has power, though I am unsure of his intentions.” “Indeed” Celestia replied, “The most off putting thing is how bluntly he says things. ‘To avoid any further frustration and/or distrust’? ‘ I’ll talk to you later after you both decide on whether or not I’m a threat to Equestria’? It is possible he’s just here to have a good time…” “But what does ‘a good time’ entail? We both know Discord’s idea of ‘a good time’.” Celestia paused at her sister’s comment. “For now, we observe, and do nothing that might cause him to think of us as enemies.” Bill, hovering amongst the crowd, idly chatted with random ponies. Answering questions (“Yes! Zombies DO exist, but not in this universe. Such a shame…”), and other chatter (“Hey! Did you know that if you take an egg, some chocolate and 600,000 tons of poison joke, you can create a portal to easter land?”). Between these brief exchanges, Bill was searching for six certain ponies. The same six ponies who had caught his attention years ago, and finally after years of waiting for the perfect opportunity, he was finally going to have some fun with them. As his eye scanned the crowd, he finally spotted Rainbow Dash filling a plastic cup with punch. Quickly zooming over, he waited for her to finish pouring. “YYYEEELLO!” Bill exclaimed, startling Dash into nearly spilling her drink. Looking round, she sighs in exasperation when her eyes lay on Bill. “Not. Cool.” Dash said through gritted teeth. “I know! Usually for this time of year the temperature would be lower! What month is it?” Bill looked at his wrist. “Oh look at that! It’s October!” Rainbow Dash looked at Bill’s wrist. He was not wearing a watch. “The twelfth. To be exact” Dash turned back to the punch bowl. “Whaddya want?” “I’m doing a socials!” Bill exclaimed with glee. Rainbow Dash paused as she tried to process what Bill had said. “You’re doing a…. what??” “A socials! Apparently flesh bags interact with talking-ness at parties, so I decided to give it a try!” Rainbow Dash didn’t know what to think. Was this thing mocking her… or just stupid? “Uh, ya, you know, talking and stuff. That’s social, sure.” Dash prayed the talking triangle guy would just leave her alone. The guy freaked her out. “Oh hey! If I know correctly- and I always do- you like pranks!” Bill circled to Dash’s front, so she was looking at him. “What does that matter?” Dash tried to turn away again, only to have Bill stay directly in front of her as she turned. “I thought you might be interested in one prank that I have lined up!” Bill looked at her expectantly. Rainbow Dash considered her options. She could just tell the top hat wearing jerk to get lost, and hope for the best, or… Curiosity got the better of her as she gazed at Bill. What had this guy come up with? “Alright” She uttered, giving in. “What've you got?” Author's Note Sometimes, you just gotta bite the bullet and spit it back out, assassinating a US president! Dear god I am so sorry for the wait. Between school, stress, losing my mind, and lack of motivation, not a lot of writing got done. I am hoping to work on this more, and I am not planning to use ciphers as often due to not everyone knowing what to do with them.
