"Maybe it was for the best" you keep telling yourself over and over.
Walking down the cold streets of Ponyville in the middle of the night, you hold yourself as you try your best to keep yourself from freezing. You never realized until now how cold the nights were out here, maybe it was due to it being close to winter.
"She promised to still look for a way to reverse the spell..."
You didn't even really have a destination, it was as if your body was just moving down past the market area on it's own.
"...m-maybe once she finds a way to fix this..."
Your body finally stops. Wondering why, you look up, seeing a small hill with a tree on the very top.
"...she'll love me again..."
Tears begin to form, blurring your vision as your very first memory with her becoming a couple begins to invade your mind. Laying under the tree with your head resting on her side as she read a book peacefully during the day. Blurting out your confession while half asleep, not realizing what you just said until it was too late. Her gently setting down the book and turning her head, with the only response of kissing the tip of your nose and smiling.
As the memory fades from your mind you find yourself next to the tree. Placing an unfamiliar hand on it, it feels cold now. You don't know whether it's due to it being the night, or how you feel, but the tree feels so cold and lifeless to you now.
"Please? I need to fully know the potential of this spell! I promise nothing bad will happen."
After casting the spell, Twilight soon realized the spell's lack of a reversal. And told you that casting it again could double the effect, which could possibly add unknown ones to it as well.
"I don't want to take that risk."
So now with a spell that neither of you fully understood, you were trapped. This foreign body felt so strange to you. The second the spell changed your gender, it didn't feel right. Nothing felt right.
Everything became so different to you, the way you saw everything, every action you did with this body, and all the eyes just staring at it. It felt like you arrived at Equestria for the first time all over again. Even the simplest things felt so much different, from using the restroom to putting on clothes.
It all felt wrong.
You also noticed Twilight acting different around you, which hurt more then anything else. The affection she showed you became close to nonexistent, every time you attempted to be close to her, she would slowly move away from you, making some form of excuse. You could see it in her eyes though, it wasn't those of love anymore. You became scared, sleeping alone at night and curling onto yourself, feeling so wrong just to hug yourself as you began to cry each night, filling your head with thoughts of her leaving you.
Though try as you might to deny it, that is exactly what happened. Two weeks after the gender swap change, she decided to tell you.
"I'm sorry... I just can't look at you anymore without seeing a complete stranger. Please forgive me..."
And that was the end of it. You left the tree house, leaving all your possessions there. You didn't know how to react, had no idea on how to respond, you just had to get out of there.
And now here you are, in the middle of the night, laying in the grass. You felt so dead inside, so weak. The tears just flowed out, you didn't try to stop them as they hit the grass.
"Even crying feels wrong in this body"
The worst part of it was, she didn't even try to stop you, to come looking for you after you ran out. She didn't care about the you she changed. The you she begged to cast this spell in the first place, even when you said you didn't feel comfortable with the idea.
You felt so alone.
"Hey..."
Your body twitched hearing the familiar voice, you didn't even bother to look up. You were in such deep thoughts you didn't even hear her approaching you until it was too late.
It was this new body's fault.
"Hi Pinkie..." you honestly didn't know what to say to her.
Everything was silent for a minute or so, you weren't sure what to say, not even sure if she knew why you were out here so late.
"My Pinkie Senses informed me.."
You didn't respond, you never questioned her senses, they were never wrong so far, and they weren't wrong now.
Finally you feel her snout press against your stomach, pushing you upwards until her head was under you. She moved under your body until it was placed the middle of her back, feeling her finally getting up. You don't know how she was able to carry you with you being heavy in this world, but you didn't question it. She carefully trotted back to her home as your hands and feet dragged along the ground.
Carefully entering Sugarcube Corner, she slowly makes her way up the stairs with her tail holding you in place on her back.
You begin to hear running water, and, wondering where you're at, you look upwards. You notice a tub being filled up before your vision lowers until you feel yourself on the floor.
"C'mon... lets get you washed."
Pinkie kept pushing and nudging you softly until you finally give in. You begin to undress. Pinkie looked away to give you some privacy, but you honestly didn't care. This isn't your body.
Finally undressed, you get in the tub, feeling the warm sensation wrapping around you. Closing your eyes you begin to relax a little bit. It felt nice. Hearing Pinkie moving closer to the tub, you hear a splashing noise followed by a squirt. You begin to worry what she is up to until you feel a pair of hooves on your head. Feeling them moving back and forth on your head you feel suds and the scent of cherries.
"Need to get washed silly"
Her voice seems more cheery now. After a few moments you feel water being dumped on your head, you can only assume she has a cup or something. And that she isn't just spitting water out of her mouth at you again like she did at the lake once.
After Pinkie washed a few more areas, no places that invaded your privacy of course, she pulls the plug from the tub to allow the water to drain. Once again, you feel her nudge you until you finally get out of the near-empty tub, feeling the softness of a towel being wrapped around your body right away.
Dragging you to her room wasn't much of a hassle now that you were cooperating slightly, you don't know how but you were somehow now in pajamas. A part of you wondered if you were just blacking out and not realizing it, and also why she had clothes for your species, and even odder that she had ones that fit your new body perfectly.
Finally with one more push from Pinkie, you land on her soft bed. Allowing yourself to sink in the soft cloud of happiness, you begin to get comfortable. You hear Pinkie move to the other side of the bed as she relaxes herself in it.
At once, images of being in bed with Twilight comes to mind, where she would just move to the edge to avoid contact with you.
Choking back a sob, you begin to move closer to the edge of the bed to avoid contact.
Unfortunately for you, though, a pink hoof stops you in your tracks, pulling you closer to her. Now within reach, she wraps her other leg around you and snuggles you closely.
"It's okay" Pinkie gently whispers behind you.
"Just let it all out."
You don't know why but that's all it took. Every painful memory for the past two weeks comes rushing back. You quickly turn yourself over and press your face into Pinkie's chest, sobbing incoherently.
Pinkie just gently strokes your back not saying a word as you try your best not to be too loud to wake up any of the residents in the bakery. After some time the sobs became just small sniffles in the soaked pink fur.
You would apologize but you realize how heavy your eyelids are. In your best effort, you try to wrap yourself around the pink mare, feeling her wrap her own hooves around you before drifting off into a dream.
Dreaming was always nice. It allows the one sleeping to be able to escape from their problems for such a short time. There are always times when those dreams can be scary and other times when dreams want to remind you about something that you forgotten that cannot be obtained anymore.
For the 'me' in this world, this dream, it is always the latter.
Waking up the next morning wasn't too bad for you. The sun lightly entered the room through the curtains, letting the heat radiate into the small room to begin warming the day.
Very cheesy thoughts you have there.
You felt warm, safe, and above everything else...
The past weeks were just a messed-up nightmare and Twilight held gently in your arms.
...
....
"Twilight doesn't have pink hair...nor does she smell like sweets."
Realizing the harsh reality, you bring your arm into view, to see it still different and how strange it looks.
Panicking, you release your grip from the pink pony and flail in the bed for escape, only to bring you and the blanket that now kept you prisoner to the wooden surface of the floor. Wiggling with such 'grace' your head pops out of the fabricated prison.
You look up on the bed to see the pink pony still slumbering, not even noticing your antics early this morning. The sight of her seems to calm you down a little as you remember yesterday’s events that brought you here.
Giving a defeated sigh, you allow yourself to roll back until your head touches the ground and stare at the ceiling wall. Pinkie allowing you to let it all out last night really did help, even though it still saddens you that Twilight broke up with you because of your appearance, you won’t let it drag you down at the moment.
Right now, you just want to get those thoughts and the ones about this accursed body out of your mind. You need something to distract yourse-
“Well, a small furry baby walking on the ceiling will do the trick” you think to yourself as you watch Pound Cake flapping his wings to keep himself in place as he stares back down at you.
“If he’s here then that must mean the other one is here too… I’m floating aren’t I?” Questioning and answering yourself as you realize how much closer you are getting to Pound.
Looking at your still-wrapped body, a hint of light blue aura surrounds the blanket. Looking back, you see Pumpkin wrapped around in the same light blue color floating next to her twin brother.
“BA!” the twins shout in unison, smiling afterwards as all three of you float back down to the ground.
Landing with a thump and with a small "oomph!" when the twins land on you, you smile as you watch them get comfortable and begin resting on you. They must have woken up when they heard you having your small freak out earlier and went to see, but seeing how early it still is they must’ve been still tired.
You watched them a few times before when the Cakes had something important going on and when Pinkie was unavailable. Their curiosity of you probably is what brought them to like you, especially when you would place them on your back and play ‘Airplane’ around their house. They called you Ba after awhile of babysitting them, you always just assumed it either stood for Ma or Pa, since they probably didn’t know what gender you were to begin with.
Or maybe you’re just a sheep to them.
That’s when you realize that this is the first time that they’ve seen you like this.
“How did they know it was me…?”
You stare at the two tiny ponies as they rest on top of you. You decide just not to question it and let them rest.
But another new thought pops into your head as your body begins to lightly shiver with that familiar morning feeling.
“I have to pee…”
It’s been a week now since Pinkie found you out in the cold. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were surprised to find the twins sleeping on top of you, didn’t help that Mrs. Cake went to go get her camera. So after the small photo session and Pinkie waking up and explaining the situation, they said it was okay for you to stay.
Very gracious with their offer you helped them the best you could. At first you attempted to help with the baking, but after somehow burning the frosting (Sweetie Belle would have been proud) you decided on just watching the twins during their work hours. So they didn’t have to worry about taking care of them during their rush hour and events.
The twins really enjoyed your company, you would play with them like Pinkie would, but you wouldn’t go overboard with it. You found the perfect balance of fun and caring. The two really helped you as well. You don’t know how, but whenever you were feeling down they would do something to distract you from those thoughts. By pulling your hair, throwing their food at you, or Pumpkin using her magic to make you float up to the ceiling while Pound would be next to you upside down as well and boop your nose. And let's not forget the popular 'pour flour over your head' bit.
Little things like that really did keep your mind occupied, and you were glad. You still weren’t over Twilight, and every now and then the thoughts would come back to you.
The day after you started staying at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie brought over your stuff from Twilight's. They were packed up in boxes and neatly sorted by the type of objects they were and by alphabet, just like Twilight to do something like that. To this day, most of the boxes are still in one of the corners of Pinkie's room, you honestly only really needed your clothes. Everything else though was just a reminder of being with Twilight.
You couldn’t deny still having feeling for her, it was still too soon for you to move on you felt. Pinkie was trying her best not to bringing her up in conversation, and when she went out she would say ‘friends’ instead of her name. She was really considerate of your feelings.
Unlike most of the others.
Rarity wanted to talk about it, over dramatizing every little bit of detail, probably for some juicy gossip. Applejack didn’t want all the details, but she kept asking if you were okay, which didn’t really help. Fluttershy tried her best not to bring her up, and when she did she would usually apologize and feel really bad, which caused you to feel bad. Rainbow was mad at both you and Twilight. She kept her distance, you don’t know why she was mad at you but she probably had her reasons.
Weeks became months and you still felt unsure with this body. It's been about three months now since your gender changed, you were kind of hoping that by now you would have either changed back or that you would have became comfortable in this form.
Neither has happened.
The townsfolk seemed to have gotten used to the new appearance for the most part.
Your only solace in all this is that you haven’t had much time to think about it. With the twins to take care of and with Pinkie trying to teach you how to make baked goods, you never had time to sit down and ponder about it.
Pinkie was trying to teach you, and by teach what you meant was making the baked goods way too sweet. Ms. Cake would usually come in and properly teach you the right measurements and ingredients. Mr. Cake gladly helped you when it came to learning how to decorate things like cakes. You honestly didn’t know how complicated it was to make cakes looks so tasty, all of his would make your mouth drool, wanting more. On the other hand, yours looked…you guess apocalypse would be the word close to how you would want to explain it.
So, after finally not burning everything and making them look decent, you were able to help them when they were busy. The twins would still latch on to you while you cooked. They would usually rest on your head, switching on who sat on your head and who sat on the other's back. Thankfully, you built up the neck muscles after days of working with three heads.
Honestly, you enjoyed this kind of lifestyle. It was busy and yet peaceful for you. The Cakes didn’t make you feel like an outsider. The twins treated you the same way they always did.
They felt like family.
As for Pinkie though…you felt something more than that with her. Knowing the feeling, it was the same one you had when you were with Twilight.
And that’s what scared you.
You didn’t want it to end the same way it did with Twilight. The circumstances might be different, but the heartbreak would probably be all the same for you. To you, it might even be worse this time around.
You sometimes wonder where you would have run off to if Pinkie didn’t find you that night. Maybe somebody else would have found you, or maybe you would have left Ponyville.
Or maybe…
You shook your head to throw that thought out of your mind before you were able to finish it. Not allowing any more similar thoughts of the past to be brought up, you occupy your mind with the situation you face right now.
“Do I want to confess..?”
You’ve been living with the Cakes for nearly half a year now. Becoming a full fledged baker in that time, it's given some free time for the Cakes to take some vacation and spend some time with their children every now and then. Honestly you couldn’t be any happier, baking has become your passion and you loved being around the ingredients, the smiles on ponies' faces when they bit into the sugary goodness you created. No wonder why Pinkie loved baking. It filled the void in your heart.
More or less you’ve gotten over Twilight for the most part, you don’t think that you will ever stop loving her, but that feeling has become so small that it doesn’t affect or hurt you. As for Twilight, she hasn’t seemed to be seeing any other pony else from what you can tell. She usually tells you she’s been too busy with her studies and keeping the library organized to be able to date when you run into her every now and then when you carry the twins around or go grocery shopping. Each time you see something in Twilight's eyes, as if she's searching for something in yours. You don't know why but it feels very familiar to you.
Twilight also seems to tell you about how she’s beginning to understand how the gender swap spell works, lucky for Ponyville that you’ve been the only victim. But she tells you with a little more understanding that she can turn you back to normal once she takes the precautions that nothing can go wrong.
Normal…
In a weird way, you don’t really mind this body of yours anymore. It feels like you’ve always had this body now. You don’t know if its just the mind playing tricks on you or if you've just gotten comfortable, but you have recently been forgetting what your original body looked like.
When you close your eyes and try your best to picture it, the image is all blurry and faded. Like a forgotten memory you try to hold on to but can’t remember anything about it. It wasn’t like you didn’t have pictures of your old self, but most of them had Twilight in them, when you were a couple, and you still haven’t had the courage to open the box filled with those memories. You just didn’t want to take the chance of opening old emotions.
Speaking of emotions, you decided it was best to not confess to Pinkie. She’s become your best friend and you don’t want to ever risk that again. She is always with you if she isn’t baking.
No wait, you usually are baking along side her.
Well when she is planning parties.
No… you help set them up and get the supplies with her when she’s planning.
With friends… no they're your friends too so you usually hang out with them.
“Huh…”
Realization strikes you when you can’t really think when you’re not with her. Maybe when she’s out saving Equestria, but that’s kind of different, you don’t really count that as part of hanging out with her.
When you two are together you usually enjoy each others company. Go everywhere together, do things together. You can spend hours talking about the most random things and not find it bothersome, you two will just usually laugh it off.
And you do sleep in the same bed together, which usually ends up with snuggling against one another.
Just like a couple would.
“Hey…Pinkie?”
She turns her head around as she continues to stir ingredients in the bowl, some of the flour on her nose.
Letting some of the nervousness out with a small giggle, you take a deep breath, not sure on how to ask any other way except to be blunt.
“Are we a couple?”
She stares at you blankly for a few seconds, to you though, it felt like hours.
With a light blush and a smile growing on her face, she turns back and continues to mix the ingredients. “I don’t know, are we?” she says in a playful tone, slowly wiggling her hips back and fourth as her tail swishes at a faster pace.
You now have your answer.
Your body slowly moves until you reach right behind her. You wrap your arms around her as she begins to slowly hum a tune, still mixing the bowl.
For once in a long time, everything felt right.
"What?!" Four ponies and one dragon shouted in unison. Each holding a different expression on their faces.
Pinkie wanted to tell them right away about the good news. So you both decided to throw a small picnic to tell them. It was the only way to convince Pinkie to not throw a huge party and invite the whole town. Luckily she listened as you explained that her friends should be the first to know. Which she agreed on, but she still wants to throw that party.
Rarity's eyes seemed to sparkle with excitement about the news, becoming as giddy as ever. Applejack rolled her eyes at her antics, but gave you both a simple smile. Fluttershy had a light blush across her face, but smiling as well nonetheless. Rainbow seemed like she accepted it, but kept giving you these strange looks. Maybe she was still mad about the whole Twilight situation.
Speaking of Twilight.
You notice she isn't with the group. Instead, you see her just sitting in the same spot when Pinkie told everyone. Her face seemed... frozen. As if time just stopped for her, like it hasn't registered.
"Twilight..?"
Just as your about to check up on her, you notice her horn begin to glow brighter and brighter. Before you can react you feel something hit you with great force, sending you flying past everyone else. All you can hear is ringing in your ears, and your vision becomes blurry as you see six different colors in your vision, one being smaller then the rest. Then, everything fades to black.
It must have only been a few minutes when you were knocked out. Because as you slowly open your eyes you can hear familiar voices screaming at one another, along with a snapping noise. You first see Spike's worried face as he snaps his claws in front of you again and again. Once he sees your eyes open, he sighs in relief.
"Had us all worried there for a second," he tells you.
You are about to respond, but all you do is let out a cough, covering your mouth in an attempt to be polite. Once done, you begin to remove your hands, but stop when you notice something strange.
They look different...
Before you can register whats happening, you see one of your hands shift back to 'normal'. Your eyes grow wide in shock as you attempt to stand in panic, only to fall down. When you quickly look at your legs you realize they're both different, and shifting from one gender to the other.
"I don't want to take that risk."
Her voice repeats over and over in your head. Your breath becomes rapid as you clench your chest, as you realize what she has just done. Now you feel your whole body shifting back and forth, from male to female, vice versa. You don't even register that Spike is talking to you, with a worried look on his face. The others are too busy in their argument to notice you.
You didn't want this.
You were finally happy again.
"I'm sorry... I just can't look at you anymore without seeing a complete stranger. Please forgive me..."
Twilight's voice says, over and over. Making you remember the look on her face. You put your hands over your ears and close your eyes tightly, not wanting to remember. But, it soon changes. The voice and pony in your mind begin to slowly change.
Until all you see and hear is Pinkie Pie telling you those same words.
Your eyes shoot open as you feel hot tears escaping, the only option on your mind screams at you non-stop.
"Run."
You try your best running with this body. It keeps changing and messing up your balance, but whenever you fall, you force yourself to roll and get back up without losing much momentum. Passing through the market district, ponies begin to gasp and scream as you run by them. You're surprised you haven't run into any of them yet, since you can barely see anything through your tears.
"...Ba?"
It barely even registers when you run past the Cake family. You double your efforts in hopes they don't see what you look like now. You don't want the twins to see you, not like this. You can hear Mr. and Mrs. Cake shouting something about the twins, but you're too far away to hear it.
Finally reaching the edge of Ponyville, you make your way into the Everfree Forest without skipping a beat. You've heard rumors about the dangers of this place, but you didn't care, all you wanted was to get away from everyone and everything. So without stopping you keep running through the thick forest. As you get deeper the sun becomes more blocked out, making it harder for you to see where you are going.
And somehow, you reach the ruins of an old castle. It's only when you reach the hallway you slow down, finally catching your breath. Your legs give out and fall against the cold stone floor. You didn't even feel the impact of hitting your head against it, nor the blood that begins to slowly trickle out. You didn't really care, you just let the coldness of the floor soothe you as you slowly close your eyes.
You were finally alone, in this new unfamiliar body, that couldn't even decide what it wanted to be. A part of you felt relief, you were finally somewhere that you should be. Somewhere no one can hurt you, a place where no one would look at you, nor say anything. You were finally...
Alone.
"...Ba."
Your eyes shoot open, seeing two familiar twins standing right next to your face. Both carrying worried expressions.
"Wha-what are you two doing here? We need to get you two b-" you stumble on yourself when you try to get back up. Falling against your side.
It's no use, you have no strength left to do anything, the only thing you can do is watch in horror as the twins watch your body shifting non-stop.
"Please go..." you beg them in your mind. You don't want them to see you like this. You don't want them to consider you more of a freak than you already are.
But all they do is curl themselves next to your stomach and press their heads against you to rest.
Tears once again form in your eyes, but these aren't like the previous ones. These tears come from the acceptance they give you. You know what their actions are telling you, you didn't even need to feel the panic anymore. You now know that they don't care. That to them, you will always be their Ba.
Finally feeling peace in your mind, your body begins to slowly relax. And once again, the world slowly fades to black.
It's been a week since that incident. A few hours after the twins found you the others found you as well. Apparently Twilight was able to track the magic trail Pumpkin left behind when the twins were following you. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were relieved to find them safe and unharmed, just resting against you. Everyone though panicked when they saw you were knocked out and the small pool of blood around your head, both Pinkie and Twilight passed out from the sight.
Luckily, it wasn't as bad as it looked physically, other than extreme exhaustion from all the running and a slight concussion you were fine. Well, other than the hoof slap across your face you got from Pinkie after she heard the reason why you ran. She was in tears, she didn't care what you looked like, all she cared about was that you were near her to share the good times along with the bad. You were a fool for thinking she would abandon you because of your gender.
Rainbow wasn't too happy about your reaction either. You found out that she was disappointed in you because you ran away and didn't even try to make Twilight remember why she fell in love with you in the first place when you changed. And the same with Twilight for not trying either. Which was her worry again that you might run away again and hurt Pinkie. You guess you can understand that. You did try to run away after all.
As for Twilight...
She deeply apologized over and over during your hospital stay. She tells you that she still had feelings for you, but they felt strange and tried to deny them, which is why she broke up with you. And that she was trying her best to get over you because she was the one that ended the relationship. She thought she was doing fine, until the picnic. When Pinkie announced about being a couple, everything came rushing back to her and she just lost it. She didn't even realize that she was casting the spell again until it was too late.
As for the spell, it seems like you have more control of the shifts now. Instead of just partial shifting it's become full body shifts. So you can now change to which gender you prefer. Twilight theorized that it's the mind that changes its form, and as long as yours stays focus it won't go out of control again. You have to thank the twins for that. Their acceptance gave you peace of mind.
You decided to stick to the gender that you were with when Pinkie saved you that night. But you accepted yourself, both sides as being normal and that both were now a part of you. It was fun to switch every now and then, especially when it came to playing peek-a-boo with the twins. They loved when you hid your face and then it changed when you revealed it to them. In the end you just accepted yourself as being gender fluid, enjoying being one preference and switching to the other when you felt like it.
Pinkie didn't mind which form you took, she still loved you for you. And you were truly happy with her, no matter what.
Especially when she made Twilight cast the gender spell on her.
Wait...
...what?
Author's Note
Making this story was so complicated without using gender specific words. Wanted to keep it neutral so you could decide what gender you were. Well anyways same as the other story, if you see any errors or anything like that let me know! And thank you so much for taking the time to read this!~
