George Floom had not been having a good day. He had spent the last five hours yesterday writing an essay with the quality and subjective value of used toilet paper and his teacher didn't even have the decency to take it away from him before the shame crushed him like an egg under a beluga whale, and math… He remembered when he was good at math but that was clearly know longer the case. He didn't even know what it was that he didn't know!
As if that wasn't bad enough he hadn't updated his fanfic in almost a month. Why did I think it was a good idea to do that? he thought to himself. We have enough work to do as it is with preparations for the next school yea-Wait, we? he stuttered mentally, clearly spending so long writing a character who referred to itself in the plural instead of the singular was clearly messing with his ability to think in coherent sentences.
This wasn't a problem for long as his mind was slowly clouding over as it descended into the world of dreams.I wonder he thought to himself what my other OCs would have thought about Animad.
George had never been taught not to tempt fate.
Floom’s eyes fluttered under the blue light realm’s sun as he watched large landmasses float by as the sky whales drifted along on the ethereal breeze. The isles look so pretty today he thought as he materialized a glass of cold mud. Have way through drinking his high sediment beverage George suddenly grasped the situation with an audible record screech being heard in the background.
After having the mother of all spit takes George looked around the acid trip that was currently his reality and only one thought went through his head at that moment.
“Where in the hell am I!” he exclaimed accompanied with the soft cracking sound of the glass of mud he’d dropped.
“I would think you of all people would know, after all you created it,” he heard behind him. The voice was feminine with some indication of being a result of a higher class upbringing, a voice that sounded quite familiar. George slowly turned around hoping that whatever was behind him did not intend to beat him to death with his own kneecaps. What he saw was not like anything he had expected at all.
“Oh you have got to be kidding me,” he said to himself. The creature in front of him was an alicorn who looked like nightmare moon if she had decided that doing the ice bucket challenge with dark purple day and glitter was a good way to spend the afternoon. She was also someone that George remembered.
“Nightseer? Is that you?”
“Why yes it is father, I’m surprised you still remember me considering that it’s been two years since you last thought of me,” she replied with the snark of an abandoned child. “This is the first world you ever conceptualized for a fan fiction, and it is also the place that all your abandoned OC’s go,” she said as fast as exposition could allow. Her explanation made just as much sense as anything else in this conceptual hodgepodge of a world.
The hero of our story had hundreds of questions bouncing through his head but only a few of them were in any way related to his current situation. For now he decided to assume that this was not in fact the result of his brother spiking his iced tea with ghost peppers before he slept and instead that this was all in fact real. Now what did he remember about Nightseer? She was arrogant, stole control of the stars from Luna and if he remembered correctly he had imagined an alternate version of her that become empress of the Roaman Empi-
Before he could continue his train of thought George was blindsided by a large wooden log with an eagle carved into the side. For the fleeting moment between when he was hit and when he hit the ground only one thought raced through his mind.
I really hate alicorn OCs right now
“Neuvo Impiri Roamanus!” the other Nightseer screamed in triumph, she wore a white toga and a golden olive branch on her head and she too looked like she had done the ice bucket challenge with deep purple dye and glitter.I need to start thinking of more original OCs he thought to himself as he laid on the floor as every bone in his body screamed expletives at him that would make a sailor cry from extremely hurt feelings.
“Roaman!” Nightseer yelled, “You can’t just do something like that to someone and especially not to our creator,”
“Neuvo Imperi,” Roaman Nightseer said in what seemed to be apology.
“Apology accepted dear,”
“Wait a goddamn second!” George yelled and immediately regretted it as his ribs had clearly brought knives to the great orgy of shattered bones that was his body. “How are you even able to understand what she’s saying when she only says three words?”
“Well you see Roaman here is the end result of a man conceptualizing a character who can speak a language that he only knows three words in, and to be honest I’m not even sure if the words she does speak are grammatically correct let alone actual Latin,”
Roaman turned her head to the alicorn next to her with annoyance apparent on her face.
“Neuvo! Neuvo Imperi Imperi Roamanus Neuvo Roamanus Imperi! ” she yelled with accompanying gestures with her hooves of what appeared to be her shoving her hoof into something and twisting it. Whatever it was it seemed as if it would have been incredibly painful.
“What did she just say? She sounds pretty pissed at you,”
“Roaman is pretty self-conscious about what little Latin she can speak,” Nightseer explained “ As for what she just said I’m pretty sure we can’t say that on a teen rated story,”
Story? he thought to himself in confusion. He was about to ask about the implications of that statement when a horrific possibility dawned upon him.
“When you said every OC I ever thought of did you mean every- ”
“Surpirse motherfucker,” he heard behind him. Oh god please don’t be who I think it is he thought to himself as he turned slowly to look at what he knew was standing behind him. She was tall even compared to him and wore ebony armor covering all of her body except her face, which looked like a red haired Debby Ryan clone. She had the smile of someone who would happily kill a man while whistling a merry tune. Clenched in her hand was a blade with a mist that slowly ebbed and flowed from it. Now I have to weasel my way out of this or she’s going to use my soul as a toothpick.
“Um…Hi Fourth, how have things been for you recently?”
“Oh things are going well for me, I have plenty of space and I can indiscriminately kill as many ponies as my cold dead heart desires. Now what was this about a fanfic that you've been writing hmm? Weren't you going to write a Human sidefic with me as the main character?” Fourth said as she walked one step closer with each question.
I’m going to die here he thought as he tried to maintain his composure. “Now Fourth, um I-I can explain, It’s not that you’re not a boring character or anything but I’m not that good at meta fiction and Human was cancelled recently and-”
“Bull. Shit!” Fourth yelled “you are completely capable of writing meta fics you damned liar! You left me here with some neon pastel OCs because I’m ‘’not interesting ‘ and then go on to write a fic from the perspective of a disembodied voice who goes around just ruining everyone’s day in general?”
“Hey! Animad isn’t just some disembodied voice, he is an El- *Humph!*” he was unable to finish his sentence as Nightseer had punched him in a stomach.
“Ah Ah Ah Floom. No Spoilers” she said.
The Fourth pointed her sword at George. “You are going to put me in a fan fiction or I’m going to were your entrails as a scarf!”. She yelled as she ran towards him.
At this point George had honestly lost all hope of escape. But if he was going to die he was going out with a bang. He reached out his hands to the sky and yelled “I call upon all the ponies of neon and broken, I call upon those that embody the seventh element of harmony, I call upon the red and black alicorns that haunt the dark recesses of deviant art. BAD OCs OF THE WORLD I SUMMON YOU!” and at that moment every single bad OC he had ever conceptualized descended from the heavens at a blinding pace bringing towards The Fourth who cleaved through hundreds of them in a single swipe of overpowered magic. But for every alicorn she cut down three seventh elements of harmony would appear in their place. Soon she could not take the tirade of unoriginality that was striking at her. George Floom knew that this was his chance to finally put his old dreams to rest and escape this acid trip his mind called a world.
So he summoned. THE MOTHERFUCKING T-REX. As the behemoth appeared the universe in recognition brought the most fitting music possible.
6.8 metric tons of Cretaceous Period glory tore its way through the neon mess crushing anyone who was unfortunate enough to be caught in his path and knocking whoever was left off the island into the void below. After a good two minutes of mayhem he reached his target, The Fourth he laid bruised and slowly healing on the ground, her blade lost in the battle and clearly terrified by the hulking behemoth looming above her. What happened next cannot truly be put into words but to put it simply she kept losing limbs as quickly as her dramatic convenience powered body was growing them back.
“Well I wouldn’t say that this was a great visit or anything and I will most certainly never return here if I have any say in it” Floom said as he dashed to the exit door that had magically appeared “It has been a displeasure knowing you all!” he said triumphantly and swung open the door.
Only to walk into a brick wall.
“What? Where’s the exit?”
“It is quite obvious my good fellow,” the T-rex said having put on a fake moustache a monocle and a small top hat on just before he threw The Fourth off the island into the void with the other OC’s. “Remember when Miss Nightseer made statements that would make no sense in an internally consistent reality?” he said.
“Yeah and your point is?”
“References to spoilers, story ratings and other such things? Don’t you see Floom? You are just another OC of the real MrFloom in one of his stories, and since your story is almost at an end…”
“I’m going to be stuck with you guys forever,” Floom or rather the false Floom said. “What could possibly make this situation worse?”
“Oh I have some ideas,” The Fourth said to him as she climbed her way back onto the island.
“What? No! The author can’t just end the story like this right? I get to have some sort of happy ending right?”
“Only one way to find out,” The Fourth said as she cracked her knuckles.
“Aaaaaand done,” MrFloom said as he added the last full stop to his latest story. “Well that was a complete waste of time, now to play Destiny,” he said as he walked away. But unbeknownst to him he too was but another character in the great cycle of meta fiction that is this story. But the question lingers. Is there a prime world from which all stories flow or is all existence fictional?
We’ll never know, because this story was only intended to be a single chapter long.
Author's Note
Well this was a complete waste of my time. It's not even that good but the idea has been nagging me since I started writing fanfics on this site.
Hope you enjoy this crime against literature
