M235

by Creed

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Sweetie Belle, Sad, Other, Drama
Length: 3974

Magical Radiation was never thought to be a thing, but when it starts to effect Equestria's only human, will the doctors be able to save him? If not, hopefully Sweetie Belle can make his final days worthwhile.

Levi, the only human in Equestria, is found by the Cutie Mark Crusaders in a horrifying state. Thankfully, they were able to get him to the hospital, where he, after a couple of weeks, finally woke up. Unfortunately, not all was okay. Through the journals and diaries of Levi and Sweetie Belle, ponies will finally realize what it truly means to live...

...and why magic was such a worrisome source of power.

This story is based on the original fic, M235, written in 2014-2015 by Soaring (also me).

Will be updated every week but I might update it whenever I feel like it.

Published 2014-09-17 18:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-13 00:31:34 UTC

I need someone to talk to and my sister isn't going to understand.

It’s been a while since I opened you up. I got you back when my sister and I were in Canterlot a looooongg time ago. She told me I could get you if I was actually going to use you.

I’m so glad I said sure, even though I hate how I sounded. My voice cracked even harder back then.

Now I can talk to you, because, well, I guess you will just understand me more. I don’t think sis’ has gone through something like this before. So… I don’t know where to start but I guess the best place is at the beginning.

So, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and I were walking to the Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse. It’s been a while since we had a meeting there, because, well… stuff was going on, and we didn’t want to worry everypony else at the time since everything was so… eh, that didn’t matter! The point was that we hadn’t been there in a while and we wanted to meet at the clubhouse. So, with just the three of us, we were walking down there and chatting about all this stuff when suddenly, we hear a faint crashing noise.

At first, we just chalked it up as nothing and kept on walking, but as we got closer to the clubhouse, the noise got louder.

And then…

I screamed. No, wait, we all screamed.

We all watched helplessly as the tree that held our clubhouse fell in a fiery mess.

Everything was just too much at that point. Thoughts were just coming and going. What was I going to do? How was this going to be fixed? Rarity was going to be so mad.

But that was the least of our problems. With all those thoughts going on, I let myself look around and… I caught my eye on something that caused all this.

And all my worries about the clubhouse were gone.

It… was tall, white, and had this long blonde mane. But what little fur was left on it was spotted in black and white rocks. There was…

My stomach is churning just thinking about all this.

One second.

~~I can write this down without wanting to throw up.~~

~~I’m sorry.~~

~~I’m better.~~

I haven’t been better but I think I can continue. There was a lot of… blood. And there was pieces of metal everywhere. What it once was I don’t know. There was just pipes and… tires and lot of random stuff.

But none of that mattered to what was dying in front of me. At first, I was frozen, not knowing what to do, but I knew I had to do something. So I took a breather, turned to the girls and told them to get help as fast as they could, while I tried to… do something with whatever this thing was. I needed to help it somehow. I was tired of being ignored. I was tired of being so… useless.

I wanted to feel like I was worth it, so I needed to help this… whatever it was. It had these hands like Spike only his looked less sharp—or maybe they should be because the fire might’ve…

I don’t want to think about it.

~~My stomach hurts.~~

I think I need to take a break. I can’t write all this down without wanting to cry or throw up.

I’m sorry. I’ll tell you more about that at another time. Point is that this happened and it has made me really, really upset, because I don’t know if this… thing will make it. I really need to figure out who this pony is—this isn’t a pony but whatever this thing is, I need to know.

I need to know so I can sleep better. I’m tired of waking up in a cold sweat. I’m tired of feeling trapped.

I just want to have things go my way for once.

Today was horrible.

I thought yesterday was bad enough, but today was much worse.

Let me start from the beginning.

I woke up after only having a couple hours of sleep (nightmares stink), only to be welcomed by my sister who was right at the end of my bed. I thought I was in another bad dream with how she looked at me, but she didn’t start clawing at my hooves and dragging me into my dark… scary closet.

No, she just looked at me, and then said that I wasn’t… feeling well. She asked it in a very concerned yet confused tone, like she wasn’t aware that I was ~~sick to my stomach and I wasn’t sleeping wel~~l upset.

I knew that she wasn’t aware though. It was all on purpose. I know she thinks she understands, because that’s what she always says. She’s that type of sister who wants to help me when I know she doesn’t get me. That’s why I talk to you over her, you know?

…

I’m sorry, one second. Thought I heard her open the door. I don’t want her peeping in on me writing to you. It’s none of her business, right?

Anyway, after I told her that I was fine, I hopped out of bed and began making it. This is one thing that I can control, of the many things I wish I had control. Still, instead of letting me do it on my own, my sister shuffled over and helped me make my bed. Why? Why does she think she needs to help me? I don’t get it.

So, I do what any filly like me would do.

I asked.

I asked her why she of all times did she think she needed to help me with this.

~~I asked.~~

She told me that I was looking like I was hurt. It’s better to not suffer alone. A sister would never let her sister feel down. Then she offered me a hoof, like a sit down in this sort of case, just to chat about life. She told me she didn’t need to know what was bothering me, but I know her, so I keep this all bottled up from her so I can come to you. Besides, I know she knows that I’m bothered by this whole thing. She just wouldn’t get it. I—oh whatever. I’m getting sidetracked.

After we made my bed, we went downstairs to have breakfast. Since this is the first time I’ve ever written to you, just know that we usually have pancakes for some reason. I think it’s because that’s one of the few things my sister knows how to make without having the kitchen in flames. I mean, she’s burnt apple juice before. Yeah, I know. Surprising, isn’t it? A sister that knows how to sew but can’t put one bottle of apple juice into a cup? And don’t ask me how it got on fire.

Good thing she didn’t mess up this time though. The pancakes were fluffy as can be. The room was… well, not a disaster. And I wasn’t hearing my sister complain about dresses and ponies being rude.

But what she said to me still lingered in my mind, enough to not open my mouth to say a word to her. For the first time in a long time, we ate in silence.

And I hated every second of it. I brewed, I stewed, I… I don’t know any other words with -ed to put here! Gah, you get it though. I was mad. Real mad. But I didn’t want her to know it. When she knows, that makes me more upset. I love her, but… gah, sisters do this to each other. That’s how this works.

All I know is that when I was finished with my breakfast, I bolted right into the bathroom to take a shower. Well, I tried to, but my manners were in the way. I thanked her for cooking and cleaning my dishes and then bolted into the shower.

From there, the day was forgettable for a while. Got outside, went to school for a bit—got a bit too close to Snails than I liked—and then after class I went to see the girls. We’ve been talking to each other more since the incident because… well… as Scoots put it, “I didn’t see the point in telling Dash.”

I remember Apple Bloom jumped in (almost literally) with the same thing, except change Dash with AJ. Sisters can be like that sometimes, unapproachable and daunting…

And then Apple Bloom said something that threw me off.

“You girls ever feel like… maybe they’re trying too hard?”

I know this is well… not how I should write it, but putting it by itself just makes me stare at it a bit more. Like I need to look at it more and more. I mean, she didn’t say it exactly like that, but I knew what she meant, and from how Scootaloo reacted, so did she.

Maybe sisters are the best over-helpers of all time.

Author's Note

This'll be one of the few times I'll interject here. Yes, this story is being re-written. Yes, this will get weekly updates like I said. And welcome back to Sweetie Belle being a narrator.

I hope you missed her.

Dumb fabric.

Sorry... I feel dumb.

I feel like I’m going to be saying this a lot. Sorry about yesterday, I didn’t actually say goodbye like I should’ve. I just got distracted and left you behind. That’s not what I should’ve done.

Look, I… guess I should pick up where I left off, or at least try to. Then I’ll update you with all the new stuff that’s happened, which, to be honest, is not much.

After Apple Bloom said that, things went a bit more quiet. We weren’t talking too much, but rather we were talking just… at each other. I told them how I thought of my sister, how she was just being herself, but more than that. She was trying to comfort me by doing things I normally do for me and trying to make me happy when… none of that really helps. I also told them about you and how I go to you for help.

Safe to say, that got them asking why. Apple Bloom definitely made it sound like I didn’t care about them, and it made me feel awful.

I told her that I wasn’t trying to do that, but I needed someone outside my circle to give me that advice. And that pony was you… or, well, me, I guess. I’m really just saying everything to you (me), aren’t I? I’m not sure if that’s the best look I have for myself but I don’t have anyone else that I really could trust to talk to about all this. There’s no one that gets me.

Besides, I think this helps me see how I think about things, like I’m almost checking to see if I’m messing up even worse ahead of time, or maybe even realize something about myself that I didn’t think at the time this all happened.

I guess that’s a start… to something? I don’t know. Talking to you is too new to figure anything out. I’m… just a stressed little filly.

Ugh. I’ve been still on edge about everything, and I have to keep reminding myself—

I’m sorry.

I need to stop writing about it right now and just focus on what happened today.

So, to tell you the truth, nothing really happened. I ate in silence again with my sister this morning, but she did try to spy a couple glances at me (it confused me a bit but when I looked at her she looked away so…). Then, after taking another nice shower, I went to school again, only to be pulled aside by Ms. Cheerilee and asked if I was doing okay. She must have caught a bit of the girls and I talking about well, the thing, and she thought I needed a hug or something. I told her that I was fine and that the rest of us were just talking about it all. I mean, it has been a hot topic in Ponyville, and well, ponies knew we saw the accincident happen.

By the way, just learned that word. I nearly wrote accident there. Ponies say if I use the word a couple more times, it becomes mine to say, or as Ms. Cheerilee puts it, it’s part of my ‘vocabulary tool box’. Sounds awkward to me, but school is always awkward. I’m not dumb, it’s just… sitting there is dumb, and that makes me feel dumb.

I don’t know. I think I filled you in well enough. The rest of the day had been dumb too. I came home to Rarity eating ice cream on the couch again with a book beside her, and I saw Hoops and Snails playing hoofball without a ball. They were essentially playing tag.

Why not just call it tag?

Egh. I don’t feel like thinking now. This headache I have coming on is horrible. I think I’m having this because I didn’t sleep well the night before. I don’t know. I need to lie down for a bit. I’ll update you when I hear something really, really good or bad…

Or maybe I’ll just update you when I want to, okay?

…

Why am I fighting with myself?!

Whatever. I’m a mess. See you later.

I don't want to dream again.

Princess Luna has been busy with me lately. I know, I know, I shouldn’t open like this but, every night is a new nightmare, and I just know she is watching over me, making sure I don’t wake up hating myself for no reason. See, I don’t know why, but as of late, I have been blaming myself.

The doctors told Twilight that he won’t be out for another two weeks. Now, I know I just said it was now a he, but, Twilight told my sis’ that it was, indeed, a colt. Not sure what to think of that—he didn’t look like a colt to me, but maybe they knew something that I didn’t? That doesn’t matter. All these things going on at once has stressed me out, or at least that’s what Rarity told me.

My sister and I had a talk after breakfast this morning, and it wasn’t because she initiated it.

I was the one who said something. I was the one who told her that I needed to talk to her, that we needed to stop being silent at breakfast.

So she and I talked on the couch (luckily she cleaned up from yesterday) and I told her everything… from the incident to what Apple Bloom had said to me and Scootaloo. I was just tired of letting myself turn into this pony I’m not, someone so upset that I was sick to my stomach over it all, and someone so sad by her doing everything for me.

And for once, Rarity listened. She listened and she told me that she was sorry. She told me that she wasn’t meaning to come off the way she did, and it’s got me very confused. I didn’t expect her to show this side to me. I thought my sister was going to get angry at me, but I guess she really does say what she means.I get that she’ll get angry sometimes, but she told me that I shouldn’t be afraid of her—we’re family Sweetie Belle and I would never want to hurt my dear sister—so I made sure to tell her the same. I would never want to hurt her, and that I did appreciate her helping me, I… just needed to do things myself too. The basic things. And school. I don’t want my sister suffering through that too.

Speaking of school, Ms. Cheerilee had a talk with me again. From what I got, she wanted to tell me that she was just looking out for me and that if I needed someone to talk to, that she was glad to help. Her saying that made me feel like I just heard the same thing twice, and although I was happy to hear it, I felt awkward, like I had two left forehooves and I didn’t know which one to move first. Thankfully, she sidestepped away and let me into the school so I could get seated, which helped me figure how to walk again.

I think she also said this to me because… well, I’ve been quiet in class. It’s been hard to talk ever since the whole incident happened and it made me feel like I shouldn’t speak. I’m not sure why. It’s silly, I know, but it’s just lingering and I sometimes feel like the others in the class are staring at me, although it might be just Apple Bloom looking over to see if I’m okay. Her and Scoots are the best. I don’t know what I’d do without them.

The girls and I are even closer now. We’re all waiting for us to hear the okay from Twilight that he’s awake. We really want to talk to this colt that crashed into our clubhouse. I mean… we don’t want to think that he needs to fix it or anything.

But it’s nice to have some help.

…

Or maybe he can just watch us rebuild it. I don’t want to force him to do anything…

Ugh. I’m sorry. I need to stop thinking about him, whatever he is. I just hope he’ll be better. I need someone else to talk to besides you and the girls… and Babs Seed once in a long while.

Oh, and now we’re back to that whole nightmare thing. I guess I’ll just gloss over it, since I’m kind of tired and need to get ready for bed. Wrote this one late tonight, since I think writing all this down will help me sleep.

So these nightmares were really… bad. I don’t know how else to say this other than this, but I keep reliving the crash. The body just slamming into the ground. Metal parts just flying everywhere as the clubhouse came crashing down. Everything just kept happening, and at first it was just like before: Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were there, but then the latest one was with just me and I didn’t know what to do. I was frozen again, and I couldn’t move. I just watched as the clubhouse burned, and the body laid there…

It laid there…

He laid there.

I’m just getting a cold sweat just thinking about it.

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.

I need to sleep. I need to just get this out of my head.

I hope Princess Luna can watch over me tonight. I don’t want to dream again.

Goodnight.

Looking For Answers

It’s dark. The room was quiet, save for the soft snores under the covers. A window with blinds tilted up let night light trickle through.

Princess Luna took a look around, making sure to keep her hooves silent. She didn’t want to wake what was laying in bed. She didn’t know how he would react to a pony like her walking into his room.

Each step clicked faintly, as she approached a small table in the corner of the room. On the table was a picture frame. In it, held a portrait of the creature. It looked like him: with his long blonde hair and smile, but he looked much younger. He was also outside, for what reason Luna did not know. All she saw was several tall trees behind him, ones that she had never seen before, and a light green sign that read in what she assumed was the creature’s native tongue.

Finally her lips curled down. Why had this happened? Why was he dreaming of this?

She set the picture frame down and turned to look at him. She saw how his hair rustled against the pillow, and how he cuddled closely to what looked like a stuffed animal (she didn’t know what it was, though).

And then she looked above him. Pictures of colorful drawings dotted the walls. They were just lines, with arrows pointing to them. They looked like how a foal drew a family, and here she was seeing how this creature drew his family, all drawn shakily and with bright colors. It… warmed her heart to see that, but she wasn’t sure if this was all true.

After all, she was in a dream. She was in his dreams, for the first time ever.

That realization shook her. It shook her to the point of her hooves feeling numb, and her gaze drifting towards the door.

She should leave. She’s not getting much here. All she’s getting is… well, a sign that he’s alive. That’s all she needed. She shouldn’t overstay her welcome.

And yet… the neon-green stars that twinkled above her made her feel at ease.

Or maybe she just wanted them there.

Luna shook her head. No. She mustn’t. This wasn’t her realm to control. She was not here to defend or alter his dreams. She was there to see that he is alive and nothing more. She got that confirmation: she was in his dreams. That’s all the proof she needed.

So she turned tail, and started to head for the door.

But she didn’t hesitate to look once last time at the creature in his bed.

He had, for some reason, turned in his sleep without stirring. His little stuffed animal was still secure in his arms. The only thing that changed was a smile that had warmed onto his face.

And as the world slowly began to come aglow, Princess Luna couldn’t help but smile too.

There, Luna stood in front of her dear sister, Celestia. They both looked tired, but not because of a long day. It had just turned morning, and Celestia had not gotten a wink of sleep. On the other hoof, Luna had finished her nightly rounds and was just about to head to bed.

There, Luna stood, a small smile gracing her lips. Meanwhile, Celestia wore uncertainty, even though happiness was painted all over her sister’s face.

That all changed when Luna spoke.

“He’s alive.”

Celestia gasped, bringing a hoof to her muzzle. “He is? I thought the doctors said—”

“I know, but I was able to finally open a link to his mind.” Luna yawned. “But I cannot tell you what I saw.”

Celestia tilted her head. “Why? Is it because of your law?”

“No,” Luna fired back. “It’s because… well…” Her gaze fell.

“Well…?”

Silence reigned free. Celestia looked on worriedly, while Luna kept her ground.

Then, with a quick shake of her head, Luna sighed and looked at her sister. “I... don’t know what to make of it yet.”

Author's Note

Going beyond the description sometimes helps. Hope you all enjoy Luna and Celestia here.

I really wanted to post something tonight, since last night was a bit of a dozy. I won't go into details but let's just say I'm struggling with health issues and we'll go from there.

On a writing note, I keep finding myself stuck in this pattern of like 600-900 words. It's obviously because of the formatting and how I want this to go, but it's a bit jarring since, well, I'm so used to seeing that number being much higher.

Oh well, onto the next one sometime tomorrow. I'll have to see how much I write. Can't really promise much anymore, just going to see if it'll be one chapter or two.

Thanks for all the support!