Anti Alien Critter Campaign
Rainbow Dash flew at high speed across the Solway Firth, skimming close to the waves and feeling the spray of salt water on her wings. She dipped a hoof in water to see how it felt and sent flocks of gulls and auks squawking and flying away in all directions. She laughed, and picked up speed, flying higher. Once up high, she surveyed the coastline and the shape of the hills and mountains to one side. She banked left and soared over a wide flat river estuary, admiring the ruined towers of a triangular medieval castle before flying higher still to survey the terrain and setting off up the river valley. Further inland she flew down low again and did a few aileron rolls for the fun of it. Then banked again, nearly completing a full turn, then straightening out and gliding southwards over the woods and open farmland and down into a dense forest. She skimmed back and forth among the pine trees until she spotted a yellow pony on the ground. She sped towards Fluttershy, and as an extra stunt, did a sudden barrel roll, turning head over hooves to land on her back on the springy peat covered ground.
“I love this country!” she cried. “It’s got a cool coastline, awesome forests, and they’ve even covered the mountains with this soft stuff to make for more comfortable crash landings.”
“It is nice,” said Fluttershy, sniffing at the heather flowers. “There are dolphins and seals and puffins and wildcats and pine martins and hedgehogs and eagles and…”
“Yeah, yeah—lots of cute critters... I’ll admit those peregrines were pretty cool.”
“But remember Rainbow. We are here on an important mission—we’ve got to help protect the native animals.”
Following their brief adventures with the breezies, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had searched the Everfree forest for magic portals leading to other worlds. One of these had led to a remote part of the Galloway Forest. And through this gateway, they had come to meet many of the creatures of Southern Scotland, with whom Fluttershy had made friends, and learnt that wild animals in this world were not quite like those in Equestria.
“Yeah, yeah. They seem to know how to take care of themselves here—”
Fluttershy pushed a hoof against Rainbow’s mouth and signalled with a wing that she should stay still. Then she pointed another hoof towards a spruce tree on the edge of the clearing. Rainbow followed her gaze and spotted a small squirrel scramble up the trunk of the tree and out along one of the branches. It stopped and started nibbling at a kernel. Then pricked up its tufted ears. On realising it was being watched, it ran on to the end of the branch, leaping onto the next tree, and disappearing into the forest.
“That’s one of the red squirrels,” said Fluttershy, with moist eyes. “They’re really sweet, but so much more timid than the animals of Equestria. And we need to help them. They’re under threat from the invasion of alien greys.”
“Err… Invasion of what?”
Fluttershy sat down on the ground beside Rainbow. Her pet rabbit Angel Bunny hopped out of a saddlebag lying on a rock to one side and climbed up her mane onto her head.
“The red squirrel used to live across the whole of Britain,” said Fluttershy. “But over a hundred years ago humans brought grey squirrels over from North America. They didn’t mean any harm—they just thought they’d make cute pets—but since then the greys have spread across the country, pushing out the reds. They’re bigger and stronger and they take all the food. B-but there’s more… They carry the squirrelpox virus. It doesn’t harm them, but when the reds catch it they get swelling and ulcers on their face and paws and within two to three weeks, they die a h-horrible death.”
Fluttershy looked away, wiping a hoof across tearful eyes, and sniffing at the traumatic thought. Angel combed his paws through her pink mane to comfort her. She soon recovered and turned back to face Rainbow.
“Except for a few havens, the reds have now gone from England. They still hold strong here in Scotland, but now that squirrelpox has reached the borders, they may not survive without our help. We have to help them!”
She looked back at her friend with a determined face.
“Yes ma’am,” said Rainbow, saluting her. “Where do we start?”
General Fluttershy took a map out of a saddle bag and spread it out on the peaty ground. It showed the whole of Southern Scotland.
“Greys have been sighted near Dumfries,” she said. “Moving up the Nith, Esk and Annan river valleys. We have to intercept them here.” She pointed a hoof decisively. Field Marshal Angel Bunny jumped off her head onto the map and thumped a foot at the precise spot.
“How?”
“Traps.”
“Traps?”
“I set some yesterday evening. Let's go and inspect them.”
Fluttershy rolled up her map and put it back in her saddle bag, together with thermos, sandwiches, waterproof coat, shotgun and cartridges. Angel hopped in a pocket. Swinging this over her withers, she spread her wings and the two pegasi were soon airborne and moving down the wooded valley. As they flew, Fluttershy explained the necessity of invasive species management.
“Invasive species are a big problem across this world. When a new animal comes into a country, without its usual predators to keep it in check, it can quickly spread across the territory. They just follow their instincts. But they can devastate native wildlife. American mink have slaughtered millions of British water voles. Voracious signal crayfish are eating young fish and destroying homes in Scottish rivers. Over in America, rapacious European Starlings are spreading disease and pushing out native American birds. Chicago is fighting an aquatic invasion by the huge gigantic terrible enormous Asian carp. Australia and New Zealand have been overrun with rabbits, cane toads, and many other invaders, which are threatening their unique ecology.”
After they had flown a few miles south, Fluttershy turned away from the river and into a small pine wood. She landed in a small clearing and walked back and forth between the trees until she found what she was looking for, a small metal cage hidden under a sheet of cardboard at the base of a tree.
“Looks like we got one.”
Angel jumped to the ground with a satisfied grin. Rainbow bent her neck down and stared into the cage. A chubby little squirrel with a large tail and grey and white coat stared back while nibbling at a cob of corn with yellow teeth.
“Okay…” she said. “I'll admit this one's not quite as cute as the red one. But is it really a threat? He looks harmless enough.”
Rainbow stared at the little squirrel. If somepony had proposed it as a pet, she would have rejected it without a second thought. But there was something pitiful about a furry creature that Fluttershy did not coo over. It was very disorientating.
“Seems a shame that all squirrels can't live together. Can't reds and greys be friends?”
“Rainbow,” said Fluttershy firmly, “these are wild animals—not characters from some kids' cartoon. It has become very clear that grey squirrels do not co-exist with the reds. Wherever the greys have taken over, the reds have disappeared. They have their place, but they don’t belong here. We have to keep them out.”
“But is there no other way?”
“No. The greys have taken over nearly all of England. We have no chance of displacing them there. But if we can keep them out of these border regions, we can protect the red population in Scotland.”
“So what you gonna do? Take it back to Equestria?”
“That would be irresponsible. Think of our native Equestrian squirrels. And you remember the parasprites?”
“So… How do you… Err… Get rid of it?”
Fluttershy turned away and opened her saddle bags. When she turned back, she was holding her shotgun in her mouth. There was the trace of a tear on her cheek, but a determined look in her eyes.
“In the kindest possible way,” she said.
Author's Note
Thanks to the Dumfries and Galloway countryside ranger service for explaining to me about the kindest way to deal with grey squirrels.
Further Reading:
Wild Seasons - Nature in Dumfries and Galloway
Saving Scotland's Red Squirrels
