Dash groaned and slammed her face into the wood of the table with enough force to leave a decent bruise. As she had predicted so long ago, it was now Future Dash's problem, and Future Dash really wanted to strangle Past Dash now. Berry Punch looked over at them with a raised eyebrow, but didn't say anything, the only pony aside from Dash in the bar. Of course there was someone who wasn't a pony sitting across from her, a person who was the source of all of her problems at this exact moment.

“This is such a mess...” Dash groaned.

“You have no idea,” Gilda said. “I got kicked out of my house. My moms said that since I was old enough to make bad decisions on my own, I was old enough to face the consequences.”

“There's gotta be a way to fix this...” Dash considered. She sat up, wings extended with excitement, her ears perked up again. “Wait, I got it!”

“What's the plan?” Gilda asked, sounding hopeful.

“There's no time to explain! Hey, put this on my tab!” Dash yelled, flying out the door, Gilda running after.

“We don't-” the bartender sighed, as they shot out of hearing distance. “We don't run tabs here.”

“You do now!” Berry grinned. “Make my next one a double!”

***

“Dash, when did this place get a castle?” Gilda asked, looking up at the huge crystalline tree, the spires of a castle nestled amidst the branches.

“You know. Magic stuff.” Dash shrugged. “It kinda grew from this box thing... look, I can't explain it, and every time Twilight tried, my eyes kinda glazed over and I totally stopped paying attention. Once, she started explaining it, I flew off to get lunch, and when I came back she was still going!”

“Is she even going to want to help?” Gilda swallowed, nervous. She knew she wasn't on the best terms with any of Dash's friends, especially since she hadn't actually apologized to them yet.

“Sure. She's like a super-genius and stuff. I mean if she can turn Fluttershy into a monster, she can totally help with weird griffon magic.” Dash smirked. “Besides, she's always happy to help a friend in need.” Dash paused, thinking. “The friend in this case is me. You were kind of a jerk to everypony.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” Gilda grumbled.

“No problem. It'll be like ten minutes tops, then you go and apologize to everypony in town, then we'll be cool again.” Dash opened the door. “Trust me. We got this in the bag.”

***

“Dash, I can't help with this,” Twilight said, raising her eyebrow. “This is the first time I ever even heard about griffon mating rituals!” She tapped the book she was holding with her hoof. It was one of the many that had been donated from libraries and ponies all around Equestria and beyond.

This one had come from the griffon ambassador, Siegfried the Fourth, and detailed the griffon royal line and, thankfully, mentioned aspects of their mating rituals in the course of describing the family tree. It also mentioned death rituals, but Twilight held out hope it wouldn't come to that.

“We just need you to fix her wings so they don't have my cutie mark all over them,” Dash sighed. “We don't need to know about rituals and stuff. I'm not asking you to play wingmare and help me pick up chicks or anything.” The pegasus rolled her eyes and sat back, leaning against Gilda.

The griffon had clearly been uncomfortable the whole time she'd been in the castle, though given how her feathers unruffled whenever Dash settled next to her, it was obvious the pegasus was helping to keep her calm. She'd barely spoken at all, and seemed content to just stare at her talons or the floor. She hadn't met Twilight's gaze even once so far.

“Clearly you're good enough at doing that yourself,” Twilight muttered. “Dash, it's like asking me to give Scootaloo a cutie mark. There's some magic I just can't do anything about.”

“But you totally changed everypony's cutie mark for a while with Starswirl's spell,” Dash countered. “Remember? Fluttershy's animals almost turned me into soup!”

“That was a unique situation. The unfinished spell interacted with the Elements of Harmony. I couldn't just do it to any two ponies I wanted! Even if I recreated the situation exactly, it might not have fixed anything. Believe me, I know.”

“Huh?” Dash tilted her head.

“When I realized I messed everything up, one of the first things I did was try Starswirl's spell a few more times. It didn't do anything at all. I was hoping that it would at least shuffle your cutie marks around again and I could just keep trying until I got it right.”

“Yeah, but you did fix it in the end.” Dash pointed at Twilight. “So you can just fix this too. Just do the thing you did to us, but with Gilda. Problem solved.”

“With a memory spell, Dash. Let's assume it would even work on Gilda at all for a moment. If I wanted to try and... and remove you from her, I'd have to remove her memories of you. She'd be like a total stranger. Is that what you really want?” Twilight's voice lowered towards the end as she tried to put the right amount of gravity into it.

Dash paled, looking at Gilda. The griffon shared her appalled look, feathers starting to ruffle again.

“No way. I didn't like this idea to begin with, and that's just crazy. I can't just let you root around in my head!” Gilda sounded almost panicked. It was the first time she'd said more than two words in a row since she'd apologized to Twilight profusely at Dash's prompting.

“Good,” Twilight sighed. “I feel the same way. There are too many risks with mind magic. Even the memory spell I used to fix the Magical Mark Mix-Up Mayhem was too dangerous.”

“Magical Mark Mix-up Mayhem? Is that what we're calling it now?” Dash couldn't keep a smile from creeping onto her face. “That sounds like the kind of name Pinkie would come up with.”

“It's better than 'Twilight messes up everypony's life, again.'” Twilight blushed. “And I like alliteration. It's good for titles. Better than puns, anyway.”

“What about an illusion spell?” Spike put in, as he hefted a new stack of books and put them down near Twilight. “Sorry that took so long. I never thought I'd say this, but we need to reorganize the library.”

Twilight smiled warmly and patted him on the head. “See, Spike? Now you know why I had you do it whenever we got new books in.”

“Illusions don't work,” Gilda muttered. Twilight and Dash looked at her, both surprised she was actually offering input. “It... Twilight, that's the Fall and Rise of the Schwartzveld Family, right?”

“Yeah,” Twilight nodded. “A first edition, too! It's probably two hundred years old and-”

“Check out what happened with Einhawken the Second,” Gilda sighed. Twilight flipped to the front of the book, finding him in the table of contents, and paged through to his entry.

“Let's see... 'After the death of Einhawken the First, his successor, Einhawken the Second, was challenged by another griffon who claimed to be Einhawken's illegitimate firstborn. The challenge nearly made it to the dueling stage before the treachery was uncovered, and the challenger, may his name be forever forgotten, was revealed as a fake, his feathermarks disguised with spellwork and sorcery by a rival noble house seeking to usurp the Winged Throne.'”

“Feathermarks aren't just decoration, they're like... you have identification papers, right? I had to get them to cross the border. In the Kingdom, it's different. They just check your feathers and take your name and you're good to go.”

“So?” Dash asked. Twilight groaned, the implications hitting her.

“So if they're used for identification purposes, it means they have some way of validating them,” Twilight sighed. “The same way all our papers use an Arcane Mark spell to prove they're legitimate.”

“Yeah. They've got all kinds of detection spells. And if you're trying to hide your marks? You get to go right to prison, no questions asked, until they can sort the mess out. Even if there was an illusion that lasts long enough and can fool the spells they're using right now, eventually they'll change the spells and I'll get caught and I'll end up going to jail for it.”

“Sorry, Gilda,” Dash groaned. “This is all my fault.”

“Yes, it is,” Twilight agreed.

“Definitely,” Gilda mumbled.

“And that doesn't even touch on the idea that griffons are supposed to mate for life!” Twilight stood up, pacing in a tight circle. “If she goes out and tries to find somepony to be with, it'd be like she's cheating on her husband!” Twilight stopped. “Or wife? I don't know how it works between you two- and don't try to explain!” She yelled the last part as she saw Dash open her mouth with an expression on her face that clearly said she was going to reveal information better left unsaid.

“Aw, come on, Twilight. You know you're curious.” Dash smirked.

“I am not curious about your... sexual escapades, Dash!” Twilight's face slowly turned red. “And from what you told me, you were barely more than a foal when this started! How would you feel if Scootaloo started telling you about what she did with... with...” Twilight was grasping for straws here. “Soarin! Or Thunderlane!”

“If it was Thunderlane I'd kick his butt off the weather team for dating a pony that's like a sister to me without my permission,” Dash said. “But if it was Soarin... I'd probably be mad jealous and ask for details.”

“Dash!” Twilight gasped. “That's awful!”

“Yeah, I know. I shouldn't be jealous,” Dash sighed. “I should just be happy for her.”

“I meant the double standard!” Twilight felt like she needed a long shower. Maybe a cold one. Ice cold. She let her mind wander for a moment, wondering if the castle was connected to Ponyville's municipal water supply. She wasn't even sure if she was supposed to pay property taxes on it or not. Technically it was probably a government-owned building, and she could blow up anypony who came asking for back taxes...

“Yo, Equestria to Twilight?” Dash was waving a hoof in her face. “I know you don't handle relationship stuff well, but we kinda need you here.”

“I was thinking of... alternate solutions,” Twilight said, lamely.

“Like what?” Dash raised her eyebrow, challenging her. She leaned in to whisper. “Or were you just fantasizing about things you shouldn't be?”

“I wasn't! The- we could just- they only last for life!” Twilight sputtered. “Yes! That's it! We'll just... kill one of you? Temporarily?” She winced at how awful the suggestion was.

“Twilight, this is why you make checklists,” Spike sighed. “Whenever you try and do something on the fly, you manage to come up with the worst ideas.”

“No, it's a great idea!” Twilight said. “We just need to stop Dash's heart for a few minutes. Probably.” She smiled, trying to look confident. It was not working.

“Yeah... let's come up with a different plan.” Dash flew up and away from Twilight before she could do anything crazy, like stopping her heart. “Like asking Discord for help. That seems less dangerous, and I never thought I'd say that.”

“Fine,” Twilight sighed. “I'll do some research to try and find something that can explain it. Maybe since you're a pony there's some other option we can take.”

“That's the spirit. Just... find something a little less fatal. I'd rather be married than dead.”

Gilda snorted. “That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.” She rolled her eyes. Her stomach grumbled. “Sorry. I haven't eaten anything since I got kicked out of my own home because of this mess.”

“Let's go get lunch,” Dash said. She flew over, glancing back at Twilight. “It'll give her some space to do her crazy Twilight stuff while we're not in the blast radius.”

“Ugh. Pony cooking.” Gilda blanched. “I can't wait. Flowers and leaves. Bleh.”

“Fine, we'll get griffon food.” Dash shrugged. “It's not like it bothers me. Come on. I know the pony Fluttershy gets her meat from when she needs to feed her carnivores.” She grabbed Gilda's talon and led her out the window, the two taking wing and flying away from the castle.

Twilight flipped pages in her book, lost in thought for a moment before she realized something. “Wait, meat? Ponies can't eat meat!” She turned to look, but Dash was already gone.

“Hmmm...” Twilight looked out the open window and thought for a few moments before turning to Spike. “Spike, take a letter.”

***

Gilda tore into the meat, the juices dripping down her beak as she tore a chunk free from the chicken. Dash sat next to her in front of the small campfire they'd built, gnawing on a drumstick. They'd gone out into the Whitetail Woods to cook, after Dash got the idea in her head that a cookout over a real campfire would be fun. Since she had paid for two chickens, one for each of them, Gilda wasn't going to complain. She'd even helped get the fire going while Dash got the birds ready.

“Okay, I admit,” Gilda said, as she licked her beak. “You're not a bad cook. Where did you even learn to cook like this? You used to burn soup when you tried to heat it up!”

“It was after I came here,” Dash said. She took the drumstick out of her mouth, the bone almost picked clean. Dash ate almost like a vulture, picking bones nearly completely clean of meat and gristle. Gilda was messier about it, leaving bits near the joints and eating the small bones. “The closest place I can get griffon take-out is hours away, and I was eating meat a lot.”

“What, still?” Gilda was surprised. She almost dropped what she was eating in shock. “I thought you'd stop after you didn't have me to mooch from.”

“Hey, I meant it when I said it was good for building muscle. I made it part of my training routine. A lot of pegasai bulk up with protein while they're training. Usually eggs, but meat is way better.” Dash flexed her wings, showing off the toned muscles. “So I had to learn to cook it myself.”

“You're one of a kind, Dash,” Gilda said, shaking her head. She blushed and looked away from the wings, getting butterflies in her stomach. She'd be the first to admit that Dash was attractive, but given they were trying to break up, making a move on her was probably a bad idea.

“Dash! Dash!” There was the sound of crashing movement through the underbrush. “There you are! I've been looking for you all day!” Scootaloo broke through into the clearing, leaves and tree sap in her mane. Dash was never sure how she found so much tree sap. Maybe it was her real special talent, and she'd end up with a maple leaf as a cutie mark someday.

“Oh yeah, it was our training day.” Dash groaned, talking around her food. “I'm sorry, Scoots. It's been a really strange day. We'll go flying after we finish lunch, okay?” Dash gestured to Gilda. Scootaloo blinked, noticing her for the first time. Usually she just ignored everything around her that wasn't Rainbow Dash.

“Wait a minute, isn't this the griffon that was a jerk to everypony?” Scootaloo narrowed her eyes, approaching Gilda and looking her over with a critical eye. “She's not so tough looking.”

“That's me,” Gilda snorted. “Just a giant jerk to everypony. So Dash is giving you flying lessons? You might wanna get somepony else to show you how to land. I don't think Dash ever learned how to do that.” She mimed crashing into the ground at high speed, even making wooshing and crashing sounds.

“Hey! I'm great at landing! Usually.” She blushed. “Besides, I have to teach her how to get up in the air before I teach her how to get down.”

“What are you girls eating?” Scootaloo asked, sniffing. “Is it potatoes or- those are bones! You're eating an animal!” She backed away, suddenly afraid. “Are you eating a pony?! Is it Diamond Tiara? If it is, I promise I won't tell anypony!”

“A pony?” Gilda laughed. “No way. That's like, horror stories. Griffons don't eat ponies. It's just a couple of chickens.”

“Chickens? Like the ones that lay eggs?” Scootaloo frowned. “But- killing animals is wrong!”

“Don't worry about it, Scoots. I got this from T-Bone. The same guy Fluttershy gets fish and stuff from for the pets that need meat. I figure if it's humane enough for Flutters, it's good enough for me, right?” Dash shrugged.

“It's just... not right.” Scootaloo muttered.

“Gilda needs some meat in her diet or she'll get sick,” Dash said defensively. “I figured since she's having an even worse day than I am, I'd splurge a bit and get her something good.”

“That tastes good?” Scootaloo sat down next to Dash, keeping her distance from the griffon. She looked at what Dash was eating, trying not to look sickened by the idea.

Dash nodded. “Yeah! It's pretty awesome, actually. When I was your age, I ate meat all the time-”

“Because you stole it from my lunchbox,” Gilda interrupted, tearing a wing from her chicken, the thin bones crunching in her beak. Scootaloo started looking green at that, glancing at her own wings and wincing as she imagined it happening to her.

“-And now I'm the best flier around!” Dash finished, gesturing with the remains of the drumstick she was holding.

“So it's like... a secret training technique?” Scootaloo asked.

“Eh, sure. We'll go with that.” Dash shrugged. “Definitely a secret though. I don't want ponies spreading it around, you know?” Mostly because she didn't want them to know she ate meat. Fluttershy knew, mostly because she and Dash both bought meat from the same pony, if for completely different reasons, but she'd never tell anypony. It was hard enough to get her to talk at all, sometimes.

“You want some?” Gilda asked, offering Scootaloo a hunk of meat torn from the chicken breast.

“Gilda, um...” Dash looked at Scootaloo. “I don't know if that's such a good idea.” There was something disquieting about trying to get Scootaloo to eat chicken. It felt wrong, somehow.

“If you did it, Dash, I totally am too!” Scootaloo bravely took the scrap of meat, looking at it. With no bones or anything, it was hard to identify it as actually being part of an animal. It could have just been a really weird squash or something.

Scootaloo put it in her mouth and started chewing. For about five seconds she was able to convince herself it wasn't that bad. Then the taste really hit her, the briny, meaty flavor filling her senses and making her start to dry heave. She couldn't bring herself to swallow, spitting it out and looking sick.

“How can you eat that?!” Scootaloo demanded. “It's terrible!” She stuck out her tongue.

“Hey, I'm a decent cook!” Dash protested. “Gilda even said so herself, and she never tells anypony that they do anything right!”

“I told you, Dash, ponies don't eat meat.” Gilda snorted, taking another bite of her chicken. “You're just weird.”

“You're the weird one,” Dash grumbled.

“I think I'm gonna be sick...” Scootaloo complained, grabbing her stomach.

“Alright, alright.” Dash sighed. “Let's go find somewhere more clear and we'll see about getting some training done.”

***

Dash had guessed correctly. The second that Scootaloo was distracted trying to fly, she'd forgotten all about being sick. Gilda lounged in the shade and watched them.

“I'm flapping as hard as I can!” Scootaloo complained.

“It's not just about flapping hard,” Dash said. “There's pegasus magic... stuff.” She wasn't the best at explaining things. Most pegasai just instinctively knew how to fly. Dash had tried the instinct thing with Scootaloo by shoving her off of a cloud, and only just barely managed to catch her before she hit a rose bush.

“Magic stuff?!” Scootaloo demanded, panting with exertion. “Do I like, close my eyes and think about flying?”

“If that's all it took you'd be in the air already,” Dash said, thinking and effortlessly keeping up with the galloping filly, flying in the air next to her.

“You're an awful teacher, Dash!” Gilda yelled over, from where she was lying in the grass.

“Hey, you only get to complain when you can do a better job!” Dash blushed. “I'm trying my best!”

“Besides, shouldn't her mom be teaching her?” Gilda got up, stretching. “I mean I get it, Dash is probably the coolest pony in town, and definitely the best in the air, but still...”

Dash stopped as Scootaloo slowed to a halt, her wings folding. “She doesn't really...” She looked at Scootaloo. The orange filly nodded for her to continue. “She's an orphan. She doesn't have a parent to teach her, and the orphanage here is run by earth ponies.”

“Oh.” Gilda blinked. “Aw feathers. I'm sorry.” She scratched her head sheepishly, looking down. “I didn't mean...” She sighed and walked over to Scootaloo. “I guess all I can do today is apologize to everypony I meet. I'm sorry, kid.”

“It's okay,” Scootaloo said quietly. Gilda hesitated then ruffled Scootaloo's mane with a talon.

“Hey, if Dash thinks you're cool, you must be. She's a better judge of character than I am.” Gilda looked at Dash. “Guess I'll just have to make up for it by showing Dash that I am totally a better teacher than she is.”

“You're not.” Dash said, flatly.

“I totally am,” Gilda smirked. “I taught you everything you know.”

“No, you taught me everything you know. It took about five minutes.” Dash flew up over Scootaloo. “From what I remember it was all swooping and dives, and then a lot of awkward flapping until you found a thermal.”

“So I need to find a thermal?” Scootaloo asked, confused.

“First, let's see what I'm working with here.” Gilda gently examined one of Scootaloo's undersized wings, squeezing it softly. “Hm. Muscles are really well developed, and your feathers are in decent condition. You're definitely putting work into it, kid.”

“I practice almost every day,” Scootaloo said, proudly, smiling a little.

“I can tell.” Gilda thought for a moment. “Flap your wings. I just wanna see your technique, so do it kinda slow.”

Scootaloo started flapping. Gilda walked to her side to see it from there.

“There's nothing wrong with her technique,” Dash snorted. “I've been helping her for a while now, and it's totally fine.”

“She's been teaching you that long and you don't have head trauma? I'm impressed.” Gilda pointed at Scootaloo's wings. “She's totally just fluttering. She needs to paddle.”

“She has small wings. Small wings mean you have to flutter more,” Dash countered.

“All she's gonna do if she's fluttering is hovering! She needs to get forward momentum so she's getting air over her wings!” Gilda stood up straighter, looming over Dash. She responded by rising into the air to look her in the eyes.

“If she doesn't get off the ground first, that's just gonna trip her up!”

“You don't even know the first thing about flying, you lame duck!” Gilda glared, pointing at Dash. She spread her wings instinctively, trying to look bigger. It was a predator instinct thing.

Scootaloo's flapping slowed and stopped as she looked at the underside of Gilda's wings. Her head slowly tilted to the side as she tried to understand just what she was looking at as the argument continued. Just as the two were really starting to scream in each other's faces, an honored tradition the two had shared since they'd first met, she blurted out what she was thinking.

“She has your cutie mark on her wings!”

The argument ended as Gilda made a choked squarking sound and folded her wings so quickly that they almost cracked like a whip. Dash bit her lip and tried hard to look anywhere at all except at Scootaloo.

“...Dash, why does she have your cutie mark on her wings?” Scootaloo frowned, her surprise turning into deep suspicion.

“Well...” Dash was rapidly working out some kind of excuse involving ancient curses, Discord, and a crash into Cloudsdale's rainbow factory. She'd nearly gotten it into a roughly believable order in her head before Gilda ruined it utterly.

“We're married!” Gilda blurted.

“What?!” Scootaloo demanded, her eyes going so wide, Dash was pretty sure they were about to tear free of her skull entirely in surprise.

“Gilda!” Dash yelled, turning red.

“What?! It's the truth, sort of!” Gilda said, defensively.

“So you're living with her now?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yes,” Gilda said.

“No!” Dash countered. “Well... yes. Her parents kicked her out because of the... feather thing. It's complicated. We're trying to fix it.”

“What do you mean fix it?” Scootaloo was even more confused now.

“She means get rid of this mark so I'm a free bird again,” Gilda clarified, spreading a wing to display the cutie mark again.

“You... don't want to be married to her?” Scootaloo was trying to wrap her head around the idea. “But she's so cool! And you were friends before, right? Why don't you want to be married to her, huh?” She glared and advanced on Gilda, poking her in the chest fluff with a hoof accusingly. “You saying she's not good enough for you?!”

“It's not like that, squirt!” Dash said, intervening. “It's not about good or bad. It wasn't like we went out and meant to get married. Imagine that tomorrow you wake up and everypony says you're married to Apple Bloom, and it's forever. She's your friend and you like her, but you'd still be upset that you didn't get to make the choice, right?”

“I get it,” Scootaloo said, sitting down. “I'm sorry, Miss Gilda. Gilda Dash? Rainbow Gilda?”

“Just Gilda.” Gilda glanced at Dash for a moment before sighing and looking away, focusing on Scootaloo and forcing a smile into her face. “Let's try this again, but with more paddling and less fluttering.”

***

“Yo, Twilight!” Dash shouted, as she and Gilda flew in through the window. Twilight had helpfully placed a pile of cushions opposite the window. Dash was perplexed as to what they were for until she saw the note helpfully taped to it.

Rainbow Dash Crash Barrier

Twilight looked up as the pegasus frowned.

“Oh, don't mind that. It's just for emergencies.” Twilight waved for Dash to come over. “We need to talk.” She pulled out a long scroll. At the top, in thick, official writing and stamped with the mark of the Cloudsdale Records Bureau. “It's about your family.”

Author's Note

*gasp*

Dramatic cliffhanger!