Philosopher of Earth

+++ The next day, on the way to Canterlot +++

A lot happened yesterday, after Twilight and I had our conversation, I was introduced to the team of Royal Guards, a newly learned term, that had captured me, the only one missing was the unicorn I had saved. I said no hard feelings, and they agreed. After that I was dragged around Twilights castle on a tour, Twilight didn't give it herself as she was "busy", I suspected it was because she didn't want to talk to me. Before I knew it, it was dinnertime and I was telling stories of Earth's technolgy to a crowd of eagerly listening Royal Guards. I did however see Twilight in the back listening in. I am unable to properly write words in the English language that describe how... smug? Confident? I don't know. The feeling that I-was-telling-stories-and-someone-who-didn't-believe-them-was-listening-in-and-still-loving-them kind of feeling. Anyway, I stayed up long into the night, telling stories about "planes", the ponies thought it nearly impossible to fly without wings... Needless to say I went to bed exhausted.

Only to be be woken up three hours later and sent off to "Canterlot", I assumed it was the capitol as any pony who said it said it with reverence. I, apparently was to meet their equivalent of queen, which was strangely named princess. I had attracted the gaze of some powerful people... fuck, ponies, I guess I still had to get used to calling them ponies.

So, I was sitting on a very early train, tired as hell and surrounded by chatting Royal Guards. Nothing worth noting happened on the train, Twilight had bought all the tickets and used them to ferry Guards back to their homes in Canterlot, so not a pony thought it was overly odd that an alien was riding with them, I still caught some staring at me however. We finally stopped at the Canterlot train station, it was about... seven? I didn't know if Equestria ran on the same time as Earth, so my watch was useless until proven otherwise. That was when the staring truly began. Some ponies got up at this dreadful hour and were already socializing. I normally would be sleeping still for about three more hours, so what they did with the extra hours I still have no idea. But anyway, a six foot alien is apparently a very rare event in Equestria and ponies stopped whatever they were doing and stared. I even saw a waiter overfill a customers coffee because he was staring so much. I have to admit, some of the staring faces amused me a little bit, and it was hard to keep a straight face.

Soon I found myself standing in front of a beautifully built castle, not very strong from a military point of view, but its aesthetics, amazing. We, my apparent escort and myself, were soon joined by more stern faced Royal Guardsmen, guardsponies, I would have to ask about that later, and were ushered into the throne room. Sitting on the throne was a stunningly white alicorn with a floating mane that was wearing a crown. I immediately presumed this to be the princess, and bowed in respect. Just because I never believed in royalty didn't mean I had to be rude.

"Good morning!" she called.

"I'm not that big of a morning person... But yes, good morning to you as well your highness." I yawned, trying to blend politeness with humor.

The Princess chuckled. So she wasn't an uptight royal, that would make this visit a little easier.

"Indeed, but I would like to get to the subject of your visit today." she stated. To the point and not uptight, I was starting to like Equestrian royalty.

"Yes, please enlighten me as to why I am here, your majesty." I answered, I had not been told anything as to why I was in Canterlot.

"Well, to be frank, I would like to know how you came to be in Equestria." the Princess said. I sighed.

"Okay your highness, I will tell my tale..."I retold my tale from my walk up until the present. When I finished my story, the throne room was as quiet as a tomb. "I am dearly sorry for any crimes I have committed, but I can not feel guilty for any of them as my own survival was at stake." I apologized.

"No, I will not hold you accountable for the stealing and the... Incident with the rabbit... I can not punish you for crimes that you only did in the name of survival." the Princess conceded. "But in the future, I hope you use bits to buy anything you require."

"Bits? Your highness?" I asked, I assumed she meant Equestrian currency, but one never knew...

"Bits are the units of money we use in Equestria." the Princess confirmed.

"I had to be sure, your highness."

"Indeed," she said. "There is however another reason other than your tale that I would like to discuss." Celestia continued. I had no idea what she might say. "I'll be honest with you, we have no current way to return you to your home world, the only way we do have to return you, won't open for another 23 moons. So, I'm afraid you are stranded here in Equestria for the time being."

"That had not occurred to me..." I said slowly, I honestly had been too busy studying these strange ponies to even think about getting home. "I commend you, your highness, for thinking about it before I even considered it. But I must've been too busy trying to survive to consider a way back." Crap, I was stuck in a alien environment that I may not be physically able to survive in for an extended period of time, such as 23 months. "I suppose then, that I may ask for permission to stay in your beautiful land?" I asked. I didn't realized it before, as I was busy surviving, but yes, Equestria was a gorgeous land, comparable with the greenest foliage I've seen on the East Coast, and that stuff makes the pale grass of home brown in comparison. Celestia chuckled.

"I guess I have no choice, but either way... Yes, you may stay in Equestria until the portal opens. As you already know the area around Ponyville, I suppose it would be best for you to stay there." she answered. Her logic didn't have any obvious flaws, but even if their was any, I wasn't going to deny the Princesses generosity.

"I graciously accept and thank you for your offer." I said as I bowed a little. "If there is anything I can do to repay, don't hesitate to ask your majesty."

"Well, there is one thing I think you can handle..." mused Celestia. "Twilight had inquired if you could teach her more about Earth."

"You want me to teach about Earth?" I asked, slightly surprised.

"Yes."

"I'm not the best teacher, but yes I will do it." I stated.

"I wouldn't worry about that, Twilight is a wonderful student." smirked Celestia. "That also reminds me..." she suddenly said. "I would like to ask if it is okay if I were to assign a teacher to you for your stay in Equestria." continued Celestia.  In short, she wanted to assign a minder to me... Hell with it, I knew as much about their world as they knew about mine.

"I think that would be extremely helpful, I thank you once again." I thanked the princess.

"Oh good! I'll have your teacher waiting for you in Ponyville!" she beamed. "I think that is all I had to say to you for today..." Celestia thought for a moment. "While you're here however, I hope you'll take a tour of the castle and learn about Equestrias history!" History? Hell yes, I'm a history nerd and information should never be turned down.

"I would very much love to have a tour of the castle!" I exclaimed, nearly forgetting that I was in the presence of the ruler of Equestria. Celestia smiled.

"Twilight!" Celestia called. The purple alicorn walked into the throne room. She must've been waiting for an audience or this was planned. "I would like you to take, Cheese, on a tour of Canterlot Castle! Take your time and show as much as you can." Celestia said to the eager Twilight. Why was she eager? ... What had I suddenly and unknowingly gotten myself into?

"Yes Princess!" Twilight answered. She then quite literally dragged me out of the throne room to begin the tour.