Philosopher of Earth

Before I begin my tale, there is one thing you need to know, I simply do not belong. One could describe me as a pariah, an outcast. I don't even fit in with some of my closest friends, online or real life. Those around me seem to think of me as insane, granted, I may be a tad bit crazy, but who isn't? I do spend a lot of time thinking/online, and that's where my story starts. My mother, who thought I was having sleep problems, possibly due to me staying up very late, wanted me to start going on daily walks, she claimed it was "to burn off some energy". So, that was how I started taking walks outside my home. Now the area I live in is in the middle of nowhere. Woods all around on a dead end road. Some people do live nearby, but depending on the weather I can hardly see them. So on my fourth walk it did come as a surprise when I heard shouts in the trees.

"Hello?" I yelled. The shouts continued, although it didn't appear they were yelling at me. Curious I stepped off the gravel road and jumped over the ditch into the treeline. Not the smartest thing I know, getting involved in a mysterious event, but hey, I was feeling adventurous. The trees around were the same slender tall trees that grow in the area, spaced at about three to five meters apart. I saw something brush past a tree off to my right… I looked towards it, realizing too late what it was.

“Go away you stupid cat!” I whispered at my sisters cat. Who looked at me as only cats do and padded away on silent paws. I continued walking forwards, following the sounds of yelling. I could now make out partially what they were saying.

"Stop!" "Hooves on the tree!" Hooves? What the frack are they yelling about? Even more curious than before, I quickened my pace. It was then, to my surprise, that the trees around me suddenly became short and twisted, and the ground went from firm to spongy. Odd, I didn't know the area around my house had such spots. I could now see lights emanating from behind the now stunted trees, as if someone was shining a flashlight around. Slowing ever so slightly, so that I now went forwards as silent as a wraith, I can be extremely sneaky when I want to. Thankfully I wore my dark green hoodie so that at least my torso blended in with the leaves. Up ahead was a clearing, the flashlights seemed to be in the clearing and pointed towards my direction. The shouting now clearly came from the clearing, so what ever was happening was in the clearing. Sneaking off to the side, I tried getting a good view in between the trees. I was met with a very interesting, if not a little disturbing, sight. There were four figures in the clearing, and none of them appeared to be humanoid. Three were on one side, and a cloaked figure stood opposite them, on the side that I approached from. What dazed me for a second was the fact that one of the three figures seemed to be floating. On second glance, after taking a brief time to clean glasses, I realized it was flying, on birds wings. A... what? The conclusion I came to was a mythological creature, a white pegasus with a black mane, that also appeared to be wearing a set of golden armor. My mind was briefly jumbled, and I confirmed what I saw, yes a pegasus. Fuck me. I looked at the two figures on the ground under the pegisous, they looked very similar to the pegious but the feathered wings were missing, what they had differently however, were horns sprouting from the middle of the forehead, or what appeared to be the forehead. Quickly realizing that they were unicorns, the thought came easily. If pegasi exist then why not unicorns? I already believed they existed anyway, our ancestors weren't idiots, so what could they have seen? The two unicorns also wore golden sets of armor, one was also white with a gray mane and the other was blue with a brown mane, and what I presumed to be flashlights were actually lights that shone out of their horns. Mentally taking note of everything, the next thing that begged for my attention was the final figure. It was also a unicorn, confirmed by the horn sprouting out of its head, was wearing a dark grey cloak, and had dark purple fur. It took me several moments to get over the fact that at least three unicorns and a pegasi existed, when I finally realized they were speaking, in english. That astounded me.

"Its over Void!" the pegasus shouted in a masculine voice. "Give up now!"

"Never! I would rather die than be a slave to the alicorn tyrants!" shouted the dark blue unicorn, also in a masculine voice. Alicorn? Tyrants? What? I searched my memories for an "alicorn", finding nothing.

"The princesses were never tyrants!" shouted the white unicorn. That voice sounded feminine, so I started looking for biological differences between the two unicorns that had spoken, the third remained silent. Realizing that, what I will now refer as "she", had a slightly shorter snout than the others, and had a smaller build. Putting those facts together, I realized the unicorn who hadn't spoken was a male. All of my scientific thoughts were suddenly dropped as I realized that I was leaning forwards, too far forwards. My thoughts blinked faster than any eye ever could. To try and stop myself from falling would likely cause my discovery, to continue falling, and accepting fate, would absolutely mean my discovery. What my mind didn't acknowledge until after the events, was that the unicorn that I had labeled "Spark" was saying something along the lines of,

"The alicorns were always tyrants! Enough talk! I beckon to thee, Sebastian, come to my side and aid me!" runes started glowing around "Void" annnnnnnd, nothing happened, the only thing that did happen was me falling out of the trees and into the clearing.

"W..what?" stammered "Void", looking at me with a look of disbelief and horror "Where's Sebastian?" I searched my jumbled mind, the only Sebastion I knew was my sister's cat... And now I could faintly recall that I last saw him not a few minutes ago...

"You can't surly mean a grey striped cat?" I asked, still reeling from the fall and not thinking clearly. At this the unicorn looked angry,

"What have you done to my hellcat?" he yelled, taking a few angry steps towards me. That was when I stood up, now for the unaware, I am a little over six feet tall, I'm not what most people call "short". And now that I am up close, the size of the unicorns ranges at about four feet tall. Surprised at my full height the dark purple unicorn started to back away slowly.

"YOUR, HELLcat?" I asked, "Kay, first of all, that dumb cat isn't yours, second that cat is as harmless as a dead fly…”The other three mythical creatures, didn't even blink at me falling through the brush.

"Call it off!" yelled the pegasus as he took a more aggressive stance. I realized he was calling me an "it".

"Go back to whence you came denizen of another dimension!.......I...It won’t work!" yelled the dark purple unicorn.

"It?!?!" I turned on the pegasus. Most of the time I'm calm and collected, until someone starts calling me names and/or threatens things I care about, then I tend to act rashly, something I'm not proud to admit. I barely had time to duck when a beam of power rushed near my head.

"Shit!" I yelled as I jumped over the very surprised dark purple unicorn, and ran back into the trees.

"Get them!" I heard behind me. Now as one who isn't entirely comfortable in the woods, but has spent more time in some than the average person, I had some idea of what to do, not a lot, but in a situation like that, better than nothing. I heard a "whoosh" of air behind me and ducked. I looked up in time to see the pegasus rush overhead into the trees beyond. I had a brief second of thinking only the pegasus was after me, when I felt the skin on my right cheek go numb. Instinctively dodging to the left, I managed to avoid  a blast of blue energy.

After that most of my memories are a blur of dodging bolts of crackling energy and ducking to avoid the pegasus, Until I thought I finally managed to juke my pursuers. Ducking behind a fallen log I found myself face to face with the dark purple unicorn.

"Aagh!" he yelled in surprise. I quickly clamped my hand over his mouth. His eyes were wide in fear. I quietly put my finger over my lips to indicate that he remain silent. He nodded under my hand, I slowly withdrew it. He, thankfully, remained silent.

"What are you?" he whispered. Thinking back to a period of three months spent in quiet contemplation of possible extraterrestrial encounters and other thought provoking scenarios, I answered as I had in most of those situations.

"I am of a species that everything should learn to fear." Now, I know you are wondering, why would I answer that? So, I will also answer this bluntly, humans are destructive creatures. We destroy everything we touch, our environment, our culture, even our own families. Name a time when humans weren't at war, didn't brutally slaughter animals, and/or cut down important and rare trees. As I said, three months of thinking and still no answer to that question. The unicorn seemed to pale.

"Oh poop, oh poop" He mumbled. Now it was my turn to ask a question.

"Now you seem to know what's going on, where am I?" I asked looking at him.

"What? You don't know where we are?" he asked looking slightly shocked. I looked at him raising an eyebrow.

"Okay! Okay... We are currently in the Everfree Forest in the land of Equestria." he answered raising his front hooves in surrender. Everfree...  Equestria... Neither of those names matched a location on Earth. I wasn't too familiar with names of forests, but I'm sure I would've remembered a country such as "Equestria" I was about to ask another question when a beam of light passed overhead. This was so obvious, that I realized that it was getting dark. Mom would be getting worried, but the light passing by overhead again, pushed those thoughts out of my mind. I strained my ears. I could hear the crunching of twigs as two sources stepped on them. Made sense, the pegasus would be flying.

"Dang we lost them!" yelled a masculine voice.

"Try over by that log!" yelled the female unicorn. I heard a slight flapping that got closer. I then saw a fairly large stick next to my right hand. I silently grabbed it and waited. The flapping sound got closer. I got ready to spring. Closer, closer... A muted gold helmet slithered into view. I stood up suddenly and brought the stick around to meet the pegasus' head. I was rewarded with the clanging thunk of the pegasus getting struck senseless. Who, by the way, was not at all expecting a club wielding human behind the log. I pounced over the log and darted in between the confused unicorns, who had just turned towards the clang of the helmet. When they saw a dark shadow rushing in between them they brought their glowing horns around with them and blinded the other, making my escape all the more easy. Hearing the mess that I had caused behind me intensify as the dark purple unicorn had attempted to follow me, but had run into one of the unicorns. Smiling, I dashed into the dusk. Thinking that I am leaving one heck of a trail for them to follow, once I was far away, I decided to run in a jumbled circle, occasionally running backwards or running away from my mess only to loop back around. Once I was done I started running backwards out of the circle, keeping one eye on the setting sun and the other behind me, or forwards depending how you look at it. I finally stopped running and started looking for a place to hide. Those three would take all night to disentangle the loops I made. I finally decided on climbing a tree and hiding there until morning. I stayed awake as long as I could turning my head towards any sound I heard, until sleep finally claimed me.

+++With the three Royal Guard +++

"Argh! We lost it!" complained the pegasus named Wind Rush.

"Calm down," said the female unicorn named Silver Star "We haven't lost it, its tracks are right here, plain as day!"

"Why can't I just speed along and find it? Oh wait, I have this to lug around." Wind Rush complained again, this time yanking on a rope that was tied around the neck of the dark purple unicorn.

"What are you complaining about?" the unicorn sarcastically asked.

"Quiet you!" yelled the furious Wind Rush as he yanked on the rope again, "It's because of you we're in this mess!" The leading unicorn, who hadn't spoken since the log incident, stopped suddenly, his light pointing out into the dark.

"Uh..Nimbus? asked Silver Star, who wondered what he was looking at. It wasn't until she saw what his light lay on did she understand.

"Oh. Buck." she stated. Ahead of the group lay a jumble of the elongated foot steps that they had already been following for hours. The tracks went to and fro, it looked like it had a party, running in circles, some tracks went away from the jumble and some came back.

"Now what." Silver Star asked, looking at the unicorn known as Nimbus Light. Nimbus, the leader of the hunting party sent to find Void Spark, the dark purple unicorn, took a few moments to think.

"Wind, you take the prisoner back to the Princess, Silver and I will stay here and begin untangling this mess. Morning isn't far off and I'm sure the Princess will like him to be back in custody when she awakes."

"Sir yes Sir!" saluted the happy pegasus, happy because he didn't want to sort out the mess, nor find the thing that had given him a good headache. At that the tied up prisoner began running towards Canterlot, dragging the still flying pegasus with him.

"I don't want to be anywhere near that thing!" he yelled, surprisingly willing accept his fate at the hooves of the princess. When they were gone Silver Star looked back at the ground in front of her.

"If that thing scared Void Spark like that, I'm not sure I want to find it." she said. Nimbus nodded and replied,

"I don't want to find it either, but he brought it here, and knowing the trouble he caused in the past, we have to find it before it wrecks havoc." Silver Star looked back at the ground, sighed and said solemnly,

"Well then we better start finding it." with that she cast her light brighter and started to slowly retrace the tracks.