Don't piss off the cowpony
The scene before us is a gentlemen’s reading den, there is a fireplace with a roaring flame in the center serving as the only source of heat and light in the room. The walls are lined with bookshelves and perched on the wall is a longsword with a plaque that said “first killing sword” underneath it.
Sitting in this den is a man, who looked just like you or I, dressed like a younger Hugh Hefner, in a red velvet robe smoking a pipe. He takes notice of us and begins to address us in a deep and debonair voice.
“Good evening, and welcome to my chamber of stories. For those of you who don’t know me my name is Bedlam, the master of chaos who took the place of Discord after his escape.”
He took the pipe out of his mouth, and set his hands in the middle of his lap.
“One of the many great powers he has bestowed upon me is the ability to see into other planes of reality. One of my favorite places to look is the Sonic and MLP universe created by AnimatedJames; most recently in that dimension there has been a competition between the earth pony known as Applejack and the red echidna named Knuckles.”
Bedlam got up from his chair and moved over to one of his bookshelves, scanning it for a moment and then pulling out the desired book, which had a brown cover with the six elements of harmony and the seven chaos emeralds on it.
“I’ve taken the liberty of recording these events in books for the viewing pleasure of others.”
He flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for. “Now gaze into my book and behold the majesty that will unfold.”
When the tale was finished the book closed and Bedlam sighed.
“Truly an inspiring tale. Now I understand that some of you may be unhappy with that ending, lord knows I was, but there is something I can do about that.”
Bedlam opened the book back up to the page and waved his hand over it, causing the text to glow bright for a moment and then disappear.
“I’m a bit of a vengeful demigod and if I don’t like something, I can just change it.”
He pulled out an inkwell and a comically large quill for writing. He picked up the quill, dipped it in the ink, and began to write.
“Now, let us rewrite fate. Starting at the end of the competition.”
Fast forward to the last 2 minutes of the story…
Knuckles stood in the middle of the field, eagerly awaiting the challenge.
“Alright, let’s get this last event over with so I can officially start gloating.” He said, confidently
Applejack stormed up to the field, extremely angry.
“Not so fast you sh
t eating, cow fuing, cck suker!”
Everyone went wide-eyed. “Jesus.” Knuckles said as he, and everypony else, was shocked that Applejack could say something that mean.
“You’ve been cheating this whole time with those chaos thingy ma fuers.”
Knuckles looked annoyed. “Oh of course, the person winning is accused by the person losing of cheating.” Even though he totally was. “Look, why can’t you just accept the fact that maybe that old stereotype about men being stronger than women is true?”
The minute Applejack heard that sentence her anger shot through the roof and she wanted to punch him…really hard.
She tried to hit him, but he moved out of the way before the attack could connect. She tried several times but she just wasn’t quick enough to hit him. But then, things took a turn for the worse.
Knuckles, who had gotten tired of this confrontation, prepared to end it. He appeared behind Applejack and prepared a punch.
“Shin-ra!” He cried.
He punched Applejack in the face so hard that she was launched across the plain and slammed into an apple tree full force, finally landing on the ground.
Knuckles was pleased, this confrontation was finally over with, but one look at Applejacks body and everyone knew what had happened.
“Applejack?” Rainbow asked quietly, hoping her friend could hear her.
Everyone walked over to her and saw her lifeless body bleeding onto the grass, turning it a crimson hue. There was a heavy silence in the air, and no one wished to break it.
Rainbow Dash looked at the ground, saddened by the loss of her friend, but more than anything she was angry.
“You.” She said, her voice dripping with venomous hate. She looked at the echidna with fire in her eyes. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”
He had no words. “I-she…”
“She what?” Rainbow demanded.
“She stabbed me in the torso with a fcking cactus!” He screamed.
“AND YOU THINK THAT JUSTIFIES KILLING HER?” Rainbow shouted back louder than him.
Not wanting to deal with this any longer, Rainbow flew up into the air so fast that a little boom was created and an air trail followed her. Everyone watched her fly away, but her abhorrence still lingered in the air.
“You just made a terrible mistake Knuckles.” Sonic said
He turned to face Sonic. “ What?” He asked, confused on what he meant.
“You may not know this but Rainbow Dash embodies loyalty. She’s always been there for her friends, and they’ve been there for her. Now tell me, what’s gonna stop her from tearing you to pieces when your no longer invincible?”
When Sonic said that Knuckles face contorted into one of fear.
“And what about the rest of her friends? What about her family? Not even I would be fast enough to run away from all the trouble coming your way.”
Knuckles looked at the ground, dejected.
“You better get out of here before I lose my cool.” Sonic finished.
Before Knuckles could start walking Rainbow Dash floated down to the ground from above and stood in his way. “He’s not going anywhere.” She said in a cold tone.
Sonic was about to ask why, but he was answered when he saw that Rainbow Dash was holding the seven chaos emeralds in her hooves.
“You got all the chaos emeralds?” Sonic asked, surprised.
“Yeah.” She replied.
“But you’ve only been gone for like five minutes.”
“It was pretty easy actually, they were all sitting in a circle somewhere in the woods.”
Knuckles put his hand up to his face remembering he was the one who left them there.
“You said these things could bring back the dead, time to see if that’s true.”
Rainbow brought the chaos emeralds towards Applejack and set them down in a circle around her body. She looked at her hopefully, praying that these things really did have the power to bring people back from the dead. She waited and waited but nothing happened, she knew it was too much to hope that Applejack would be okay but she wanted to hold on to hope.
She felt like she was about to cry, but she didn’t want any pony to know that. Sonic walked over to maybe comfort her and she hugged him tightly, trying to keep her weeping to herself. The rest of her friends came to her side quickly, joining in on this massive hug.
But then something amazing happened, as they hugged the chaos emeralds began to glow, this glow got brighter and brighter until they were completely filled with power and began to rise off the ground. As the emeralds lifted up so did Applejack’s body and the emeralds began spinning in a circle around her, starting off slow and then getting faster and faster over time.
First, energy began to surround Applejack, then her body began to shake, and finally her eyes were opened wide and the energy around her exploded in a blinding light. When the light died down, every pony saw that Applejack was back up on her four hooves and any injury she had was completely gone. But that wasn’t all that changed about her: her coat was now an oak brown color, the apples on her flank were now green, her eyes were an icy blue, and her ponytail was spikey though it still kept its original shape.
Everyone looked at her with amazement and glee, but she had her eyes set on only one person, Knuckles. She gave him a stare of death and his mind went blank as he tried to imagine what was about to happen.
“I’m fued aren’t I?” He asked.
“Eeyep.” She replied simply.
She charged Knuckles at incredible speeds, so incredible that when she stopped short in front of him the air behind her pushed Knuckles back. Knuckles tried to defend himself by punching her but she blocked the attack and didn’t even flinch. Knuckles tried again, but she blocked it again without even trying. Knuckles began punching faster and faster but Applejacks’ hooves moved even faster and Knuckles couldn’t keep up.
Just to taunt him Applejack put her hooves up in the air saying ‘you get one for free’ Knuckles took this opportunity and punched her as hard as he could. He hit her right in her chest as hard as he could but the attack didn’t even make Applejack move. Knuckles looked at his fist afraid and then he looked up at Applejack as she made a cocky grin.
“Go ahead.” She said
Knuckles pulled his hand and gripped it in pain. “Aaaah!” He screamed.
To demonstrate what just happened Applejack knocked one of her hooves against her leg, it sounded like a knock on wood.
“My skins as strong as oak.” She pounded her two front hooves together. “And my hooves are twice as hard.”
Now it was Applejacks turn to attack, she pulled back one of her back legs and before Knuckles could get out of the way she kicked him straight up into the air. He flew so high up so quickly that he quickly disappeared out of sight. They waited for about a minute and a half for him to come back down, and then when he did come down Applejack pulled another attack; she got directly underneath him and right before he hit the ground she uppercutted into the air and it hit Knuckles in his stomach. He was now perched on her hoof until she flipped him over and slammed him to the ground.
Knuckles lay on the ground in an unimaginable amount of pain, and barely conscious anymore.
“Grgggh…” He tried to form words but lacked the focus or energy to do so.
Applejack looked down at him with content. “Well, ah think this makes us even.”
She exhaled slowly and her transformation was gone, she was back to plain old Applejack. Satisfied with all she had done she walked away from this battle stage but before she did she leaned down close to Knuckles ear and whispered something in his ear.
“Next time you wanna mess with somepony by cheating, you better remember this moment.”
She walked away from the large group and left pretty much everyone with their jaws on the ground, especially Rainbow Dash who only had four words on what just happened.
“That…was…so…badass.”
And with that, the book closes, we are drawn back to the den and a content Bedlam sighs.
“Perhaps not my most elegant change to a dimension but it served its purpose. I hope you all enjoyed this time in my den of stories; join me next time when I tell you the tale of the man who fought against a rock golem in a sailor suit.”
He got up from his seat.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make sure my pet moose isn't eating all my pudding again.”
And with that he left, bringing this story to a close.
