The Lord and the Laughter
The Lord and the Laughter
High in the skies of the Earth, further than anybody could see it, was a vast and intimidating sight. A vessel, not of this world, massive and imposing, covered all over with jagged spikes. If anyone were to look at this ship, they would guess, and rightly so, that it was the abode of someone dangerous. They could not be more right, for this was none other than the Nemesis, flagship of the feared and brutal Decepticons. Natives of the planet Cybertron, these marauders had, under the leadership of their ruler, Megatron, journeyed to this world, this Earth, with one goal in mind: To defeat their hated enemies, the Autobots, and achieve final victory in their long and costly war.
Upon the bridge of the Nemesis, which was filled with many Decepticon soldiers going about their business, stood a lone figure, who stared out at the vast sky presented to him on the room's large view screen. Larger than any of them, he was an armoured colossus, deadly and strong. Megatron. What he was thinking of, nobody could guess, but the smart money would be on something loud and violent. The other Cons went about their tasks, monitoring their respective workstations, knowing full-well that disturbing their master was a sure-fire way of getting themselves hurt. Thankfully, at least for them, it was here that their Lord's attention was diverted to something else.
For it was then that the doors leading onto the bridge slid open, and a new Decepticon stepped out. He was, by quite a long margin, smaller than Megatron, but he nevertheless looked just as dangerous. Lean and sharp, he was a dagger where Megatron was a hammer. A few of the soldiers eyed him, but none spoke in greeting, and the new arrival merely walked behind his master before clearing his throat, catching his Lord's attention.
"Starscream. I trust there is a good reason for this interruption?"
Megatron's voice was deep and foreboding, and gave the distinct impression that the calm he was displaying was a mere paper surface above a sea of rage. The other Decepticon, Starscream, coughed nervously before speaking, his own voice having something of a snake-in-the-grass quality to it.
"My apologies, Lord Megatron. But I felt I should inform you that there has been, as of yet, little in the way of Autobot activity in the last few days."
There was a brief, yet uncomfortable pause before Megatron replied, his back still turned to his lieutenant.
"And?"
Starscream started fidgeting with his hands a little, looking somewhat nervous.
"Um...that's all, my Lord."
Although he could still only see his leader's back, Starscream was sure he was bearing a rather angry expression right now.
"You came all the way here...to tell me that nothing is happening?"
"Er...correct, Sir," Starscream replied.
It was here that Megatron finally turned to face his second-in-command. As intimidating as he was before, when looking him right in the eye, he was downright nightmarish.
"Then next time, be sure to have something more useful to say."
Starscream opened his mouth, ready to give some kind of hastily put-together apology, but before he had the chance to do so, a new voice came out of nowhere.
"Wow! You guys are REALLY big!"
That, needless to say, caught all Decepticons, Megatron included, completely off-guard. All of them started darting their heads about trying to see where this mysterious and exceptionally cheery voice had come from. After a few minutes of silence, there was the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat. Giving each other one final glance, Megatron and Starscream both looked slowly down at the ground, and looked upon a creature that they had never seen before. It was barely the size of a human, and walked on all fours. But the most distinct thing about it was it had a bright pink colour scheme that made it stand out like a sore thumb on the otherwise dark-coloured bridge.
"What...is THAT?!" Megatron asked aggressively.
Starscream, although nervous as usual from his master's angry outburst, quickly saw an opportunity to get back into his good graces. Assuming a more dignified stand, he pointed down at the intruder, gaining it's attention.
"You there! Creature! Identify yourself!"
The strange alien life-form looked up at Starscream, apparently oblivious to the obvious danger she was in given the massive smile on her face, before bouncing up and down in one spot as she answered.
"I'm Pinkie Pie! Nice to meet you!"
Starscream looked up at Megatron, who seemed equally suspicious that this alien could seem so unconcerned at her current surroundings. But regardless, the Decepticon lieutenant carried on with his impromptu interrogation.
"How did you get on-board this vessel?"
The creature, Pinkie, shrugged her shoulders before answering.
"Dunno. I was just walking about, having a nice old picnic with my friends, then all of a sudden, BOOM! There was this big green hole that just appeared out of nowhere! Twilight and the others stepped back, but I accidentally dropped one of my cakes inside when I tried figuring out what it was. So I jumped on in to get it, and here I am!"
Starscream had a look of "are you kidding me" upon his face. This Pinkie Pie jumped into a strange vortex just to get a cake? He and the other Decepticons knew little of Earth culture, but even they knew what cakes were and how foolish it would have been to risk one's life to get one. This small creature was either brave to the point of reckless, or just plain crazy. Even so, Starscream's attention was then drawn to Megatron, as the latter spoke out in his usual aggressive tone.
"Starscream. Did you not say earlier today that you were calibrating the space bridge?"
He did not say it, but the message was clear. Megatron was under the impression that Starscream and his experiments were the cause of this intruder's entrance to their ship. And though he was never the most honest of folks, even by Decepticon standards, Starscream knew that there was no wiggle room in this.
"Er, my apologies Sire! We were experimenting with the bridge, it's true. But we never noticed this...thing coming out of it. I swear!"
Megatron glared angrily at his subordinate for some time, a look that would have caused no end of sweat on Starscream's part, if he could actually sweat that is. Once Megatron had scared his underling enough, he looked down at the Pink intruder before standing tall, giving off a very distinct impression of power and authority.
"You, Pinkie, stand in the presence of Lord Megatron, ruler of the Decepticons, and rightful master of the Planet Cybertron!"
Pinkie looked up at him with an e_xpression that only vaguely suggested that she was paying attention.
"Uh-huh. Can I go home now?"
Megatron frowned deeply at this display of insubordination, however minor it was.
"You may leave when I say so, not one moment earlier!"
The small pony drooped her ears slightly upon hearing that.
"Aw! You're no fun!"
But then, rather quickly, she perked up again before starting, much to Megatron's chagrin, to hop away from him and towards the exit of the bridge.
"Well, it's been fun, but I gotta go!"
Almost every Decepticon there looked with utter shock at the brazen act of defiance this small creature had shown towards their master, Starscream especially starting to back away slowly. And he was right to do so, for Megatron, now looking furious at being ignored in this manner, growled loudly before raising his right arm, upon which was his infamous fusion cannon, a weapon that had claimed the lives of many of his enemies. Without warning, a single powerful shot was fired from the cannon in Pinkie's direction, as Decepticons tried desperately to jump out of the way of the blast's path. Within but a second, the cannon's attack hit where she was, and there was a near-blinding flash of light as it made impact.
Megatron looked with a sinister smile on his face, content that this irritating creature had been dealt with. However, as the smoke began to clear from his target area, his smile vanished as he saw that there were no remains. No carcass or anything. As a look of confusion began to creep upon his face, his attention was drawn to his right, as a very familiar voice could now be heard.
"Well that wasn't very nice."
Looking in the voice's direction, Megatron gained a look of shock as he saw that Pinkie Pie was now standing on his shoulder. His eyes darted from there, to the spot the blast had hit, before looking back to her once more, perhaps in an effort to see if his eyes were playing tricks on him. But no, she was alive and well, and looking no less cheerful than before. Before he or the other Decepticon could do anything however, the sound of the bridge's doors could be heard sliding open. All turned to see another of their number enter the room. A little shorter than Starscream, he was decked out in a bright red paint job.
"Can't a Con have a peaceful walk down the hallways without blaster fire going off all the time?"
Starscream looked at his comrade with more than a little annoyance.
"Knockout! Can't you see that we have a bit of a situation here?"
The lieutenant pointed in Pinkie's direction, and it was here that Knockout finally noticed her. At first he seemed somewhat taken aback, mostly due to her standing so brazenly on Megatron's shoulder. But, after a brief moment, he stepped forward and squinted his eyes at her, seemingly giving her an inspection of some sort. After this, he let out a scoffing sound.
"Well, here I was thinking that it was the humans who had the poorest sense of style! But look at this thing! What kind of colour scheme is that? And that hair? Who goes around with that kind of styling? It's simply disgraceful."
Pinkie, rather than seeming her usual happy-go-lucky self, or even insulted at the barrage of comments that had just been thrown at her, looked at Knockout in silence for a few moments before squinting her own eyes at him and speaking out.
"Rarity? Is that you?"
Knockout, rather understandably, seemed quite confused at this comment, but before he could enquire further about it, both he and Pinkie were surprised as Megatron angrily grabbed onto her with his left hand, holding her tight before his glaring face. Pinkie, as usual, seemed unconcerned about this turn of events, and simply tilted her head, waiting for her captor to make the next move. He growled at her, and everyone gathered there assumed that he would probably crush her then and there.
"You try my patience, creature!"
Pinkie however, merely smiled widely at him.
"Turn that frown upside-down, Mister! We can liven this place up a bit for sure! All we need are some streamers and some balloons and we'll be set!"
The Lord of Decepticons was in no mood for her games though.
"You are the most infuriating being I have ever had the misfortune to meet...and that's saying something."
The final part of that statement had been said whilst casting a sideways glance to Starscream, who responded to that with a look of "what did I do THIS time?" However, much to everyone's surprise, there was a sudden bright flash and, right in the middle of the room, a space bridge portal opened up. There were many confused glances among the crew, but Megatron, seeing his chance, merely threw Pinkie Pie into the portal with all his might. Before she passed the threshold however, Pinkie yelled out one final utterance.
"Aw! No going away party?"
And with that, she passed through the portal, which promptly closed behind her. The room became deathly silent as all of the Decepticons looked to one another with confusion, wondering what exactly had just happened. Starscream especially was unsure of this situation, but his confusion vanished as he saw that there, standing in silence at the entrance to the bridge, was another Decepticon, but one that lacked anything resembling a face, at least as most would recognise as one. As was usual, those there had guessed that it was he who had opened that bridge just now, as Starscream asked.
"Soundwave? I assume that annoying creature is back where she came from?"
The new Decepticon, Soundwave, said nothing, as usual. But he merely nodded in silence before turning and making his way off the bridge, no doubt to continue whatever work he was getting on with before this whole thing started. Knockout, seeing the still-angry look on Megatron's face, decided that it would probably be for the best if he were to leave, and so promptly followed Soundwave out of the room. All the other troops there got back with their own duties, hoping in vain that nothing would come of all this. Starscream though, in a move even foolish by his standards, cleared his throat before addressing Megatron.
"My Lord, if you like, we could recalibrate the bridge again, find out where that creature came from, and pursue her."
Megatron, in a gesture that none in their right minds would want to see, snapped his head in Starscream's direction with an e_xpression of great anger.
"And risk coming across a whole PLANET of those things?!"
Starscream considered this prospect for a moment before realising that going to Pinkie's world was, perhaps, not the smartest thing he could have suggested. So, in response to this, he meekly shrugged his shoulders, to which Megatron merely growled once more before turning his attention back to the bridge's view screen. Starscream, thankful that he'd managed to avoid yet another trouncing from his master, at least for now, began to make his way out of the room. However, before he did, he looked at the spot where Pinkie had last been, the area where Soundwave had conjured up the space bridge. He smirked at it before pointing two of his fingers at it in the mock shape of a gun.
"Bang."
