Twilight Dies For Science
Princess Twilight Sparkle stood stoically in the center of her library, pacing back and forth. Levitating a long parchment in front of her followed by a quill, she scanned over her double checklist. Again.
High-voltage needle [✓]
High-voltage translator [✓]
Wooden table [✓]
Paper for taking notes upon awakening [✓]
Extra paper for notes [✓]
Emergency Shock Defibrillator [✓]
Checked checklist [✓]
Spike [✓]
Hammer in case of-
"Twilight?" Spike squeaked from behind Twilight's wall of thin paper.
"Yes Spike?" She asked off-hoof, restarting her double check of her double checklist.
"Are you sure about this? It's...really serious. You could- uhm...well, die." Spike said with twiddling claws.
"That's the point, Spike." Twilight said from behind her list.
"No, I mean, like. Really die. For good."
"That's impossible. I've taken every necessary precaution and done all the research." Twilight said non-nonchalantly.
"Yeah...I know. You always do. But I really think you should reconsider this. Can't you...test it first? On something else?"
There was a long grace period of silence. Twilight lowered her list just enough to stare at Spike. "Did you just suggest I use a guinea pig?"
"Well...You a-"
"Not only is that immoral," Twilight began as her list dropped to the floor. "but it is also illegal in the field of science. I re-"
"But Twilight!"
"-I refuse..." She countered, staring down the purple dragon. "to utilize an innocent to further explore the vast world of science."
Spike bowed his head, wiping his eyes. "But what about your life?" He squeaked.
Twilight frowned. She set aside her list and quill and walked to the little dragon's side, bumping him gently. "Hey now," She began, smiling down at him as he looked up. "Remember all the extensive planning we did? All the books we- uhm...you imported. The technological education we both had to gain. And, we already talked about this Spike."
Twilight looked up, gazing at the countless wires extended throughout the library. Two hooked to a ladder to the East, three going from the ceiling to each window, and all of them coming together at a center piece- a massive contraption. It looked like a drill designed to dig into the center of the Earth, then the core, then the universe. Despite its intense size, the control panel only had a lever and a big red button. The simplicity disappointed Twilight in design, but brought joy to Spike's heart.
"I don't like machines much, but I gotta say...you did great! Especially the needle tip. Very intimating." Twilight commented.
"Heh...Guess I'm the tech-dragon and you're the magic pony, huh?" He quipped, looking up at his friend.
Twilight smirked. "We make a good team." She mashed her hoof into his head before the moment got too tender and giggled. "Should we get started?"
Spike sighed, scratching his head briefly. "Can you run it by me again? I...want to make sure I do it right."
"All you have to do is push the button..." Twilight teased with a smirk.
"Remember the last time I operated a machine like this? It had one button. Yeah, one button that should be labeled, "Dragon Hate" in big bold lettering."
Twilight giggled. "I remember that. You got so scared when it started shaking and grinding." Her giggle turned into an all out laugh.
"That isn't funny. I thought it was going to eat me." Spike shivered at the thought, then looked at the technological marvel.
"But with this button, it only delivers a shock of imminent death." Twilight said ecstatically.
"...That's what worries me." Spike sighed, looking to his princess.
"Oh it's so exciting!!" The purple alicorn said, stomping her hooves on the wooden floor.
"And that worries me more." Spike complained, rubbing a hand over his face.
Twilight paused. She looked from the machine, to the many cables connecting to its harness, then finally at Spike. "Ready?"
"How did you convince me to do this?" Spike whined, looking up at his dearest friend with the biggest, softest eyes he could muster.
"Because you're so gullible?" She replied. Then added, "And, as my royal assistant, you're obligated to."
Spike nodded quickly. "Oh, pulling that card huh? Uh huh..."
"Look at it this way!" Twilight exclaimed. "At least you can't say I could get myself killed."
Spike rolled his eyes. "Now I'm ready."
Twilight chuckled as she walked up to the wooden table, then with the utmost sincerity, said "What's the worst that could happen?"
Spike's jaw nearly broke the floor. He struggled to speak. "I-...Y-...You-...I'm jus-...The dr-...Sho-..." He paused, dropping his arms.
"Get on the table. Hurry up before I change my mind."
Twilight smiled wide as she climbed onto the table. She struggled as she tried to find a comfortable position. "Ugh...We should have gotten cushions!"
Spike sighed. "Why does it matter? I don't think death is supposed to be comfortable."
"Hmm...You're right. Makes it more realistic!" Twilight agreed, finally settling for laying on her back. Her poor, crippled wings wheeped in agony behind her.
"So I just...push the button?" Spike asked.
Twilight nodded. "Yes Spike. Give it about five minutes, then push it again. It's already programmed to give a shock to restart my heart when I'm gone."
Spike stared at the button. On it was a piece of tape with, "Twilight Hate" written on it. He would have smiled, if not for the sinking feeling of dread.
"Why can't you just use magic?" He asked as a last ditch effort.
"Because, Spike," Twilight began like she had twenty times before. "Magic isn't a natural cause of death. I want this to be as real as possible."
The little dragon put his index claw on the button. The big red death-inquisitor was vastly larger than his whole hand. "Get ready Twilight. Here we go..."
Just as he was about to press the button, "Wait!!!" Twilight yelled.
Spike looked to her and sighed in relief. "Oh I'm so glad you're not going through with this, I thought you we-"
"Can you count down? That'll make it more official, like an execution chair." Twilight requested excitedly.
Spike's face dropped to a dumb-founded stare. "Wow. Alright, you got it."
"Excellent!" Twilight chirped as she wiggled into position over the massive drill. She was sure to aim the tiny, deadly needle directly over her heart.
Spike put his hand over the button. "10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4..."
"3..." He looked to Twilight. She was staring at the ceiling, writhing in excitement.
"2..." He blinked a couple times, staring at his friend on death row.
"1." He took one last moment to try and find her eyes, then mentally decided he didn't want to look someone in the eyes before he killed them. Especially not Twilight.
He pushed the button.
A few things happened.
Spike's eyes bulged.
The machine took three seconds to charge with deadly properties.
In a millisecond, a single invisible bolt of electricity drove through Twilight's flesh and struck her heart.
Then she was gone.
Spike paused.
He took a step forward then paused again.
His lips started quivering as he dropped to her side, looking over her body.
He nudged her shoulder.
No response.
"Twilight?"
"Twilight...?"
"...What have I done?"
A white light pierced the eyes of Twilight Sparkle. It was the whitest white- a full spectrum of colors compact into one entity of ever-flowing essence. It was so far from her, yet she could reach out and touch it. She could feel it within her grasp, though she felt it was far gone. She felt a lot of things. Love entrenched itself into her soul, gravitating and orbiting around her being, spiraling and compacting into one single energy.
Life.
Twilight was complete. She retraced into knowledge that she never knew she had. From when she was but a foal, she was able to recall every moment, every touch, every single thing she had ever experienced was organized and readily available to her.
There was no fear. No sense of dread or remorse. Nothing. Twilight simply floated in the infinite vacuum of white.
Until she felt something. Something so dark, so unbelievably sinister and cruel it ripped her heart from its hinges. A dark power- a dark entity that gave the alicorn a sensation that she added to her new list of experiences- crushing.
Her body felt like it was being pulled, pushed, crammed, yanked, ripped, and put back together all it once.
It was awful. If she knew how to cry, she would.
Then as she writhed in eternal agonizing pain, she saw a bright light within the infinite pitch of white. It guided her, paved a path for her, and pulled her from the dark. It angled her body gently towards itself, coaxing her to safety.
It was then that Twilight found true peacefulness. She had a sensation of energy flowing around her body. It was a sensation unlike any other, but if she had to put it to something, it would be a stream of water.
It was golden as it coursed by her being, touching her neck, legs, hoofs- everywhere. She bent down, submerging her face into the energy. She opened her mouth and tasted the flowing power.
It tasted like grapes.
"Wait what?" Twilight questioned as she brought her head up."Grapes...?"
She looked ahead and saw another small patch of white. She briefly dismissed the odd thought that grapes were in the afterlife as she followed the white spec amongst the white back drop.
It was odd, being able to depict white within its own color. She knew that it was because she had full use of her eyes, full use of her mind, and full use of her body- her soul.
She approached the white spec and tilted her head when she saw it come closer to her. Having the incredibly vast knowledge pool she did, Twilight found it all the more intriguing to see something new.
When she took a close look, it wasn't new.
"Angel...?"
The tiny white bunny stared at Twilight, its adorable little nose wiggling.
"What are you doing here?" Twilight wondered as she moved her head forward curiously.
"Isn't it obvious?" Angel said in a deep, clear voice.
Twilight blinked.
She blinked again.
One more time.
"...What?"
Angel wiggled his nose. "Ahem* Isn't it obvious?" He repeated.
Twilight paused.
She blinked.
Blinked again.
One more time.
"...WHAT?" Twilight shrieked.
Angel blinked once.
"WHAT!?" Twilight yelled again.
Angel wiggled his nose.
"WH-"
"You can stop now," Angel said.
As if being reminded of the talking bunny before her, Twilight paused. She blinked twice, and took in a deep breath. "Okay...I'm calm."
Angel crossed his arms. "Ask away." He said, his voice as deep as ever.
Twilight rose an eyebrow. "What?"
Angel tapped his foot rhythmically. "I'm sure you have many questions," He assumed.
Twilight thought for a moment, then shook her head. "Not really."
"...Really?" Angel's left ear twitched.
"Yeah...I got nothing." She replied.
Angel blinked twice, then uncrossed his arms. "You're presented with a talking bunny in heaven, and you have nothing to talk about? Here I was thinking ponies were just dying to talk to me." He shrugged, his ear continuing to twitch.
Twilight shrugged back. "I guess...what's your favorite color?"
"Pink." Angel said without hesitation.
"Interesting...Favorite food?" She continued.
"Carrots, of course. And bacon."
"That's int- wait. Bacon? What is that...?" Twilight looked puzzled.
"You don't know what bacon is?" Angel looked surprised with his little whiskers flicking.
Twilight shook her head.
"...They're just to die for." He said without the slightest hint of irony.
Twilight stared at Angel. "You are gonna do puns the whole time I'm here, aren't you?"
"Oh yes." Angel said, swinging his tail. "I have enough to last the rest of your life."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "So this is the meaning of science, is it?" Twilight said in disappointment.
"No. Science is the progression of knowledge based on statistics, evidence and strenuous studies."
Twilight rose an eyebrow. "Pretty smart little guy, aren't you?" Twilight smiled.
"I would hope so. I am god, after all." Angel deadpanned.
"Oh, that's...That's..." Twilight looked at Angel. "What?"
The tiny white bunny flicked an ear. "I'm god. Did you expect any less?"
"You're god?" Twilight asked with no complexion in her voice.
"Yes."
"...God?"
"That's right."
"Creator of all beings?"
"Yes."
"The father of all creation, the womb of evolution, the first being, the ultimate- the one?"
"Yep."
Twilight slumped onto her hind quarters. "I didn't see that coming."
"Yeah, odd thing, that. Now, I imagine you have a lot more intriguing questions?"
Twilight opened her mouth, but didn't speak. "Not...really."
Angel blinked once and stopped wagging his puffy tail. "Really?"
"Yeah. I got nothing." Twilight said.
"Not only are you speaking to a talking bunny, but god itself, and you, Twilight Sparkle, the bearer of the Element of Magic, famous for seeking out every bit of knowledge, does not have a single question to ask?"
Twilight shook her head. "Not at all."
Angel's eye twitched. "Really? No meaning of life? No how the universe was created? If Celestia is all-powerful, if Luna is really insane, if one of your friends is betraying you, if you forgot to turn off the oven, something?"
Twilight put up her hoof. "Actually, I do have a question."
Angel smiled. "Excellent. What is it?"
"What's the best recipe for banana cake?"
The sound of creaking wood resounded throughout heaven as Angel, god himself, facepawmed.
"...Spike already makes a great banana cake." He replied.
Twilight smiled wide. "Well there's your question!"
Angel sighed. "I am going to 'pretend' like you just asked me the meaning of science."
"Oh! That's a good question. Why didn't I think of that..."
A single vein on Angel's head grew three sizes just then. "...The meaning to science is-"
Twilight coughed.
"-...Is progress."
Twilight nodded slowly. "Uhm...I knew that, though."
"Interesting, isn't it?" Angel said with a smirk.
"So I knew the meaning to science?"
"Indeed." Angel replied.
Twilight blinked a couple times. "H-...how is that possible? To know something that only a transcendent being does?"
Angel smiled. "Twilight, it is because society makes it believable. It's a message- a simple idea- that you as a mortal cannot fathom something as great as the meaning behind something, when in actuality, you know the meaning to everything."
Twilight nodded slowly. "I...don't quite understand. I...know everything?"
"Precisely. Ultimately, at the end of your life, what have you learned? Everything you needed to know- especially since you were looking so far as to heaven for more knowledge- but, in the end, knowledge is infinite. It is what you make."
Twilight blinked a couple times. "...what about heaven?"
Angel wiggled his nose curiously. "Elaborate?"
"Heaven? What is it?" Twilight repeated.
"Not much of an elaboration, but it'll do." Angel shrugged. "Heaven is based around what you make of it."
"What do you mean?" Twilight spoke out.
"I was getting to that." Angel's ear twitched. "Heaven is...well, your mind. It is constructed around all that you've learned, experienced, done and ultimately, what you are. Heaven is you."
Twilight blinked a couple times, tilting her head. "Then...what is hell? Isn't that where...y'know, awful ponies go?"
Angel shook his head. "No, no. You see- hell and heaven are one in the same. It is what you ultimately are. If you spent your life in crime, death and slaughter, that's what will become of you in death."
"And if I spent it learning and loving...?"
"Then you'll find a river of knowledge, ultimate omnipotence, and further education in death. Hence forth; me." Angel explained.
"But..." Twilight began, putting a hoof to mouth. "I was always told that hell is another plane. So...this is all just in my mind?"
Angel nodded. "That it is. What decides if you have a heaven or hell is based on your morale. If you did wrong deeds most of your life, and were against it, then your afterlife will be clouded with sadness, compulsion and confusion. If it was of death, destruction and mayhem, and you felt no remorse, then that's exactly what will happen when you die."
Twilight looked at Angel for a while before asking, "So...If somepony kills thousands of others before they die and didn't feel any guilt, they get to do the same thing in death?"
"That's right." Angel replied.
"That...seems unbelievably awful. Why? Why would you allow them to do what they love?"
Angel shook his head. "Because life is what you make it. I created all of it as a canvas. Like a painting. Each life has its own course, its own bristle and its own color. Not a single inch is the same. While some are looked down upon from let's say, your society, I see it as it was their choice, let them do it as much as they please."
Twilight frowned. "I thought heaven...or hell, whatever it is, would be a lot more...fair to the kind."
Angel wiggled his nose. "But isn't it? Those who murdered, maimed and stole in life will do the same in death. For eternity." He paused, flicking his left ear up and down. "They did it in life for the thrill. It was there that it was frowned upon- looked as a sin. Here, it is accepted and given to them on a silver platter. That is their eternal afterlife to reflect on."
Twilight nodded slowly. "I...think I understand now."
Angel smiled. "I'm glad you do, because it's time for you to go."
Twilight smiled. "Oh...well, that's okay. I think I can leave here happily."
"Not often you can say, "I think I'll take my leave. From heaven." Very bold. But, before you leave...I ask of you to do one thing."
Twilight perked up, tilting her head. "Yes?"
"Can you yell 'Crabcakes' for me?" Angel asked.
Twilight looked at Angel with a puzzled stare. "...Crabcakes."
"Louder."
"Crabcakes?"
"Louder!"
"CR-"
"CRABCAKES!!!"
It took the young princess a minute to open her eyes to six waiting friends. Each of them looked worst than the next.
Rarity had the widest eyes, her makeup running down her cheeks. Rainbow Dash had tears bubbling in her eyes and her mane looked like it wasn't combed in months, which is probably true. Applejack was staring at the princess dumb-founded, her tears nearly dried up. Fluttershy's mane was the worst, completely in a mess and her eyes were drenched. Pinkie's mane was down to the floor and her eyes were bubbling with tears.
Spike was the worst. On his knees, next to Twilight, claws gripping her side. His face was swollen in worry and fear.
They were all frozen solid.
Twilight blinked.
She blinked again.
One more time.
"...What?"
The group all immediately dove onto the purple alicorn, squishing the poor pony with their unbeatable strength and love.
"You're okay! Geeze, you scared the heck outta me!"
"Oh darling, don't ever go doing a stunt like that again!"
"Oh, oh...Twilight, I'm so glad you're okay..."
"Ahh, I knew you'd be alright. But seriously, don't do that again?"
"Oh goodie, goodie, goodie! Twilight's all fine!!"
Spike rubbed his cheek against the princess'. "Thank goodness you're okay, Twi. I...thought you were really gone." He sobbed.
Twilight smiled as she hugged her closest friends tight.
Once they all released their resurrected friend, without a moment's hesitation, Twilight turned to Spike.
"Spike! Take a letter."
FIN
