Blueblood and the Canterlot Wedding

by Strythio

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3784

Celestia attempts to make sense of the most recent crashing of a Canterlot Celebration.

Celestia attempts to make sense of the crashing of Princess Cadance's wedding (and the subsequent attempt to takeover Equestria) by consulting the all powerful guest list and Luna. The ensuing conversation hints that Luna's absence may have been less than coincidental.

*Intended to be a One-shot

Published 2014-09-20 07:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-20 07:30:03 UTC

A Bet

Celestia had gone over almost everything from the wedding. The cleanup, the purge (some changelings were more stubborn than others it seemed), and of course, the guest list. How did Chrysalis get into Canterlot in the first place? Whom could she have disguised herself as before meeting Cadance? Or is that the disguise that she used, and she had replaced Cadance long before the wedding plans had even been publicly announced?

There were so many questions, but so very few answers that her investigators had so far given her. Going over the guest list one last time, Celestia noticed that a particular name was not showing up. No matter how many times she checked, Prince Blueblood had neither attended nor apparently had been even invited, despite the fact that he helped finance the rather costly wedding (much to the relief of the treasurer). With both Shining Armor and Cadance away on honeymoon, Celestia felt that she was missing something important in all of this. So she called in the only "expert" on conspiracy theories that she felt comfortable consulting.

"Luna," Celestia greeted, meeting her sister halfway down the throne room as she did this, "I am glad you could come, despite the hour."

Luna yawned, attempting and failing to cover her mouth as she met her sister at the halfway mark. Despite clearly just waking up, the largely nocturnal princess still looked rather regal, with not a strand of hair out of place. "Well Sister, last night was unusually exciting for this time of year; however, you seem distressed in your sleep, so even now at high noon I am here to help."

Celestia smiled and took some comfort in those words. Indeed, her dreams last night had largely consisted of a repeat of her being defeated by the changeling queen in her own castle. It was more embarrassing than anything else, so it did not really take a high position on Celestia's list to get that sorted out. "Thank you Sister, but my main focus is on the absence of Blueblood from Cadance's wedding. Do you know any reason why he would not be even invited?"

Luna shrugged lazily, her eyes beginning to get droopy at the mere mention of that topic. "Blueblood is a mystery, I have no idea why he would not show up. Why he was not invited may have something to do with the night I returned to Equestria."

"Shining Armor and Blueblood have since made up," Celestia refuted, "Both publicly and what they thought were privately." Celestia's disappearance had left three ponies in charge at the same time: Captain Shining Armor, Princess Cadance, and Prince Blueblood . It had seemed like a sensible idea the week before the Celebration, but by the time she had returned to Canterlot after the Festival had concluded in Ponyville, it had become clear that it was not one of her brightest ideas.

The city was still in one piece, but half the population had been rallied in preparation for either searching for Celestia throughout Equestria or for ransacking Ponyville in the process. The two ideas proposed by those in charge, the first belonging to Shining Armor, and the second to Blueblood, might would have caused the entire country to be aware that Celestia had been gone for a short period of time without explanation. Since doing both was hardly an option and Cadance had not weighed in her opinion on it, the two stallions had come just short of literally butting heads when the princesses returned.

"So perhaps Cadance struck him from the list?" Luna suggested, "Other than that, nopony else but the bride or groom would have removed Blueblood from the invitations list."

Celestia mused over it a few moments. While distantly related to one another, Cadance and Blueblood had never been the best of friends, though their hostilities usually were more private than public. The worst that they had done to each other was swap the signs to the bathhouses, the act of which nopony had absolute proof of regarding the culprits. And that, for the most part, was rather harmless. It was unlikely, but out of the two, Shining Armor and Cadance, Cadance did seem the most likely to have removed Blueblood from the list, as it was a rather covert action. Still, their last grievance had been month ago, at least that she knew of.

"I wonder if something new may have transpired between the two."

"That I could not tell you." Luna stifled another yawn, attempting to maintain some air of professionalism and interest. "If you are not interested in your dream, then I presume your interest is instead more in the investigation."

Celestia nodded.

Luna opened her eyes a little wider in response, a smile spreading across her lips. "Believe it or not, Chrysalis and her hive have been wandering for quite some time. Until recently, they were in Maretonia and Saddle Arabia, and similar shenanigans went on over there. I think they are still trying to figure out what ponies they actually have lain with for the past four years."

Though Luna snickered, Celestia found these news mildly disturbing. Cadance had visited both Maretonia and Saddle Arabia in the past five years on more than one occasion. Perhaps inadvertently the alicorn brought back with her the changeling queen without realizing it? There were too many questions to answer simply by guessing.

"So, how was last night's patrol?" Celestia inquired, deciding to redirect the subject again, perhaps striking closer to a few answers. "Unlike most predators, the changelings seem more eager to strike in broad daylight, but I am sure they have learned by now-"

"Actually, I was not on the patrol." Luna attained a fascination with the floor, tracing some figure into the carpet with a hoof. "So you would have to ask my third-in-command for first hoof experience."

Celestia seemed surprised, shocked even. For Luna not to be on the patrol was almost as out of place as Twilight in a Canterlot pub without a magic related cause for being present. "You, not on the patrol? Paperwork get to you?" She did not lament handing over the nighttime paper work to Luna; she had dramatically downsized the night patrol for that very reason, but now that Luna was back and was enlarging it again, no doubt the hills of paperwork had returned to their mountainous heights.

"Well, something of that sort." Luna continued tracing for a few moments before looking back up to meet Celestia's gaze.

When it became apparent that Luna would say nothing more without prompt, Celestia pressed for details. "So, what were you doing last night then?"

"Training my secret apprentice."

Celestia had been told of this apprentice by Luna, but she had not guessed that Luna would take the time out to train her student so soon after what had happened. In the past, Luna would have likely hung changelings from their wings by the minute, bringing about the end to their hive by midnight. But instead, she seemed to almost be taking some aspects of Celestia's tutelage techniques, putting aside old habits for the sake of training up the next alicorn candidate. Maybe, Celestia thought with a small frown, her sister was beginning to emulate her just a touch. "I guess training is going well then?"

Luna nodded, and though she managed to stifle yet another yawn, she did seem very much more awake than she had previously been. "Concerning that, I have to ask you a question."

"What is it?" Celestia tilted her head downwards just a little further, giving the false impression that she was listening more intently than she had been before.

Luna paused for a few moments, perhaps to build tension, or perhaps to merely figure out a way to word her question. When she finally seemed prepared, she looked towards the stained glass windows instead of at her sister. "Have you ever had to tell your student to reject their instincts?"

A few days ago, Celestia might would have enthusiastically told her yes. Even fillies needed to know the dangers of the Rhino Game, especially young unicorns who did not understand that pin the tail on the pony was not always a painless game. But after Princess Cadance's wedding, she could not say that with the same vigor. "Many times in the past, the most recent of which turned out to be a mistake. Why, has your student asked about dark magic?"

"No, something a little less dangerous." Luna sighed. "My student has fallen for a certain mare, and I fear that his affections for her might get in the way of his studies."

"Sounds like you need to give a little," Celestia answered, a sigh of relief that it was not something more imminent, "As long as the mare is not you of course."

"Of course not!" Luna made a 'bleh', and then smiled. "How scandalous! However, all the same. He wishes to be an alicorn, the first stallion to be ascended in quite some time if my sometimes failing memory recalls right. Understanding love is important, but his target already has one dear to her. That is one mess he needs to avoid at all costs."

"I see." Now Celestia could at least limit her scope of advice to give. As Luna had failed to mention a name, she likely did not intend on revealing her mystery student either until she ascended him, or brought him for some sort of evaluation. Regardless, it was a stallion, so if he had his sights set on some mare, no doubt Luna would have more issues trying to reign it in than doing damage control afterwards. "I doubt he will give in simply because you say so. So maybe you should give him a chance to court her?"

"That I feel could be unwise."

Celestia shook her head, not quite seeing how Luna of all ponies would want to try to keep her student from his heart's desire. "You do not want to tread that path, as you know what it is like to be a victim of such restraint attempts."

Luna shook her head. "I will not go too far Sister, but I cannot in good conscious allow him to get distracted after I put in so much effort into instructing him."

Apparently Luna's mind had already been made up on the matter. Celestia refrained from frowning, for if Luna already had her mind set on the issue, why did she bother asking for advice on the matter? The pot that scorned the kettle seemed to be taking instructions straight from its manual.

Regardless of Luna's intentions, Celestia wanted to get back to the original topic, as that tangent had not produced anything useful. "Well, if you cannot enlighten me as to why Blueblood was not on the list, I have to ask if you know anyone else who may. I cannot ask Cadance directly until she returns with Shining Armor."

"Why not just ask Blueblood?" Luna suggested, "I am sure he will give you the truth."

"That is what I am concerned about." Blueblood was not a known compulsive liar, but he was also not one to take offenses to his person lightly. If given the chance, he would blow the entire situation out of proportion, making his account likely to be even less reliable than hear-say. She would be better off asking Fancy Pants or Jet Set.

Luna laughed, and turned from Celestia, as if on her way back to her personal chambers. "Well, that is my suggestion anyways. Hear it from the horse's mouth. Good afternoon sister."

"Afternoon Luna." Celestia watched Luna depart, likely heading back to sleep.

"Guards!" Celestia called out shortly after Luna had left. Within seconds, two members of the royal guard were at her hooves and at attention. "Go retrieve Prince Blueblood and bring him here, at once."

"Yes your majesty!" The guards bowed and swiftly trotted off to do her bidding.

Celestia relaxed in her throne, eyes focused in on the entrance. Despite her earlier grievances, and her ability to spy on Cadance and Shining Armor both, Celestia had come to terms with the thought that, though exaggerated, Blueblood's account of things would be better than no account at all.

Patiently she waited for her guards to return. After about ten minutes, however, it had become clear that Blueblood was not in his usual spot in the gardens. And that meant that the guards would have to go about looking for him. Celestia looked about her throne room briefly, noticing that she was largely alone.

"Well, I suppose I could check in on the happy couple while I wait." Celestia spoke to herself merely for the temporary illusion that the suggestion had come not on a whim, but after deep thought and an external suggestion from an earlier time. From which neither had come before her intentions.

Tapping into her magic, Celestia temporarily seemed to fall into a sitting slumber. In truth, even as her eyes closed, she had entered a magical connection with two very useful articles of jewelry that she had granted the couple on their wedding day. The wedding rings of Cadance and Shining Armor had been enchanted, granting Celestia the exclusive ability to see and hear through them whenever she so deemed it necessary. Some would call that an invasion of privacy, but Celestia preferred to think of it as a way to have an ear open in case shenanigans plague the two even on their honeymoon.

Her vision winked from her castle throne room to that of a large metal object that resembled an equine head. Magic levitated the head over the square floor as if it were a game piece, it making an L-shaped marker and replacing a tower shaped object of wood.

"Check."

That was Cadance's voice, and by the sounds of the proceeding groan, Shining Armor was not in the most winning positions.

"Alright, next question. Where is my favorite place to be touched? I will be surprised if you get this one right."

Shining must have been pondering for awhile, for only the cackling of some nearby fire and the unmoving chess pieces served as stimulation for the snooping princess for quite some time. When he finally answered, it was a definite, unhesitant response. "Your favorite place to be touched is that bridge between your wings and your back."

"Close, but not close enough. I actually do not like to be touched at all, really." Cadance giggled, no doubt because that turned the regular question into a trick question.

Celestia could only imagine that this would elicit some strange looks from Shining. His response confirmed this imagery. "What? Not even for tickling?"

Some giggling and an overturned chess board later, and Celestia surmised that Cadance was under a tickling attack from her husband. Smiling, Celestia ended the magical vision, coming back to terms with her throne room. The sounds of clopping hooves brought her eyes into focus on the two guards returning. Behind them was Blueblood, though his mane and tail were discolored orange and his coat appeared as if he had been through a tough fight, blue and black bruises dotting his surface as craters covered the moon.

"What happened?" Celestia knew that Blueblood was not the type to leave home in such a sorry-looking state.

"No idea, he was in the baths soaking when we found him." The guard on Celestia's left gave his partner the stink eye. The guard on her right flicked his ears and nodded, as if Celestia could not clearly see their body expressions and read that that was not the whole story.

"Blueblood, where did you receive those injuries from?" Celestia inquired, raising an eyebrow at her guards, "Is there something that I need to be aware of?"

"No Princess." Blueblood spoke, but it was clear from his roving eyes that he was not truly speaking what he wanted to say. "However, you wished to see me?"

Celestia learned her head forward, squinting her eyes. The guards seemed to keep their composure, despite how hard Celestia was supposedly looking at Blueblood's forehead. "Why is there what looks to be a stallion's hoofprint on your cheek?"

The guard on the right turned to look to Blueblood with ears standing on end. "I swear I only went for gut shots, half of those really were there before we showed up!"

The guard on the left smiled fearfully, eyes shooting to his companion. "The truth is, Blueblood would not come willingly-"

"I had a do not disturb sign on my door!" Blueblood shot, "What about do not disturb do you fools not understand?"

"Celestia wanted you, we were sent to retrieve you. Simple as that," the left guard angrily stated, all the while facing Celestia, "We might have went a bit overboard, but it was all to follow Celestia's order."

"Right." Celestia had a feeling that she would soon enough hear the famous exposition, but for now, she needed to handle this as any smart leader would. "You guards are diss dismissed. I will have Shining discipline you by my criteria when he returns."

The guards scampered away, the first guard smacking his companion on the side of the head, even before they reached the throne room doors. Celestia sighed; so this was the guard that had been so easily beaten during the changeling attack. She needed Shining back as quickly as possible in order to remove the chaff from the wheat that she knew was still growing in the ranks.

Once they were gone, Blueblood broke out in some tears. Celestia had the inexplicable urge to smack him for some reason, for even while crying he had that face that demanded either a good smacking or a good kissing. Thankfully Celestia withheld and instead addressed the injured stallion. "Are you okay, Blueblood?"

"No!" His whine, his drop to the floor, and his sobbing brought on the great kissing desire for his bruised cheek. Celestia found herself actually leaving her throne, kneeling down to Blueblood like a mother would move to comfort her crying foal.

"There there Blueblood, just tell me what happened."

"I cannot!" Blueblood sobbed some more, and much to Celestia's surprise, he buried his muzzle into her coat, his horn rubbing against her side, pointed towards her throne. "Those guards dared to use force! All I wanted was to sleep, and they attacked me!"

Sleep? In the middle of the day? She had heard of lazy, but that had to take the decorations on the cake. "Well, while I do not condone uneeded violence, when they told you that I so called you, why did you still not wish to come?"

Blueblood sniffed, seemed disgusted in the act of all of the mucus movement, and then started back wailing again. "You have no idea just how tired I am! What with having to pay for Cadance's wedding, fight off hungry chitin beasties, and still having to cook my own dinner because all of my servants were in the hospital. Where is the dignity?"

Fight off changelings? That perhaps warranted a need for rest, but cooking? He knew that Blueblood was no chef, but certainly that couldn't have been that much trouble. Nonetheless, wanting to console and then interrogate, Celestia brought a hoof to stroke through Blueblood's mane. "I am sorry you had to suffer so, though while the topic is up, why were you not at the wedding?"

Blueblood at last parted. "Well, I won my bet with Shining Armor, despite Cadance attempting to cheat. I had bet that he would not get Cadance to sleep with him, anything else being done aside, until after the two were wed. Shining, thinking this some insult on his stallionhood, took me up on the bet and, as long as they were not required to actually do anything, agreed that he could get her to sleep in the same bed as him. I win, then I do not have to suffer the indignity of having Cadance marry him. He wins, then I show up and be his best mare, with Spell 63 in effect to my humiliation."

Well, that cleared up why he was not at the wedding. It was a strange bet to be made, but considering that Blueblood paid for the wedding, him not showing up still seemed rather strange. Why would he not want to show up to the wedding that he had put so many bits into? So many questions, but at least it was answered as to why he was not at the wedding.

"So, how did Cadance cheat?" Celestia made sure to capture Blueblood's watery eyes in her gaze.

"She kept changing form," Blueblood complained, "Mere minutes after getting off the train disguised as some random pony, she emerged from an alleyway as herself. I later called Cadance out on it, she denied, and I warned Shining that it had to be Cadance as her self in order for it to count! He gave me a very strange look."

Shape-shifting Cadance? Sounded like Chrysalis, though by the sounds of things this had been prior to the supposed threat against Canterlot. "Why did you not report this to me?" Celestia demanded, "You realize that that was a changeling?"

"Shining Armor and Cadance thought I was crazy, though Shining agreed to the adjusted terms, and I did not previously want to tell you about the bet." The stallion stopped crying, perhaps the gravity of his concerns reaching him. "My goodness, I could have gotten you to make sure Cadance didn't cheat on the bet!" Nope.

Smack. Smack right out the window. Celestia found her hooves going from strike to stroke, smoothing out the stallion's mane with a restrained tenderness. "Yes, you could have if you would have told me."

What was she angry at Blueblood for though? The threat against Canterlot combined with the shape-shifting Cadance accusations really should have tipped him off that something was amiss. Or he could have at least reported it to her in jest. No, she did not have a reason to be angry strictly with Blueblood.

"Alright, you may go to my bath and get cleaned up." She detached the stallion from his rooted position and shifting him towards her chambers. "If anypony asks, tell them to report to me."

Blueblood nodded and trotted off. Thinking back on her earlier thoughts, she began to regret not trusting that Blueblood could reliably tell a tale. Of course, she was still going to get Cadance and Shining Armor to have their weigh in before chewing them out. No need to be rash.