Button Mash Learns How Monotonous Item Grinding Is

by TheExhaustedBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Comedy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1479

Button learns that repititon is boring

If you've ever played an RPG, you'd know that gathering items plays a huge part of the game. Button Mash has been playing Soul Heart, an online role playing game, with Sweetie Belle. He's had a pretty good time playing the game and hasn't been bored since starting. However, when he's asked to gather rare items for Sweetie Belle, he takes it upon himself to gather them all. Join Button Mash as he slowly realizes what MMORPG's are at their core.

Published 2014-09-29 15:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-29 15:50:03 UTC

It's a mindless grind

It was just another night at the Mash household. However, since it was Friday, Button was allowed to stay up later than usual. The foal decided to take advantage of the his mothers' leniency and play his favorite online game with Sweetie Belle.

"Sweetie, what was it you needed again?" Button asked, adjusting his headset.

"Ummm... I think it was... yea, I need three more mysterious shells to complete the quest."

"What drops those again?"

"They're dropped from King Boletes in the Brackish Blue Beach zone."

"Alright, I can go get those for you."

"Are you sure? They have a very low drop chance. Not to mention that they're constantly farmed."

"Don't worry about it," Button Mash assured, "I'll have those shells for you in no time. Just leave it to me!"

"Oh thank you so much! I'd get them myself, but Rarity is nagging me about how much time I've spent on the computer today. It's so annoying. Thanks again! See you tomorrow!" Sweetie Belle gleefully thanked the foal and immediately signed off from the game.

With a new objective, Button set off for the beach zone to retrieve the items for his friend. It really was too bad that Rarity had to take Sweetie Belle away from their Friday night adventures. After all, it was a Friday, and since there wasn't any school the next day, being able to goof around and play is something all children should be able to do. However, after thinking about it rationally, there are different rules for different households. Regardless, Button Mash had a job to do. He made promise to a friend to collect seashells and that's exactly what he was going to do.

The Brackish Blue Beach was located on Caballa Island, an area that was quite far away from the capital city of Clovox-Ris. To use the fast travel services to get to Caballa would mean that he would have to spend seventeen thousand galders. Despite not having enough money for transportation, Button knew that since this was for a friend, he'd go any distance. He decided to walk half the distance to the mercenary outpost and then spend eight and a half thousand galders to fast travel.

Button cracked his neck and got up from his slouched position with a feeling of excitement,

"So it begins. The great quest for shells!" Button declared with fierce devotion, as he directed his avatar towards the city gates.

"I am Sir Veywind Swift! Sworn member of the Order. It is my duty as a royal paladin to protect my people from the Legion. I cannot turn down someone in need, especially if it's a friend. I will go forth to Caballa Island and-"

*DING*

The chime pulled Button out of his role play and brought his attention to the private message he had just received.

Kries3210: Go to for cheap money and items. 100% trusted and affordable at 10k = 20 Bits!

This was something that always got on the foals' nerves. There are ponies out there that just farm for items like slaves and sell the items for real money. Button liked to take the easy route as much as the next stallion, but he had some standards. Buying items with real money didn't do anything to help the games' economy as well as take all the fun out of the game.

Ignoring the third-party advertisement, Button continued his way to the mercenary outpost. The walk there wasn't nearly as long as he had expected thanks to a speed buff that was cast on him by a player who wanted to help out. When he finally arrived at the mercenary outpost, Button clicked on the Portal Master NPC, paid the fee, and was whisked away to Caballa Island.

Button unsheathed his sword and ran to the combat zone.

"Button, sweetie?"

"Yea mom?"

"Your father and I are going out. Your brother is with Featherweight."

"Out? Out where?" Button asked, occasionally peering back at the screen.

"We're going to meet up with some friends. You remember the Oranges, right?"

"Oh, honey, he's not going to remember them."

"I guess. He was really little at the time."

"How long are you going to be gone?"

"We probably wont get back until very late tonight."

"There's food on the counter and numbers on the refridgerator. See you later."

"Bye mom. Bye dad." Button quickly said his farewells and then turned his attention back to his game, but not before hearing one last thing from his mother.

"I know it's Friday and you'll be home alone, but try not to stay up too late playing video games, all right? Good things are best in moderation."

"Okay mom. Have fun with the Oranges."

"Bye sweetie, have fun."

With the final farewell, Button listened for the sound of their front door opening and closing. Not that it mattered too much, but Button always enjoyed playing video games when the house was empty. Perhaps it was that he felt assured that nopony would sneak up on him or otherwise distract him from his video games? Even he wasn't quite sure.

After clicking on the Brackish Blue Beach zone portal and waiting for it to load, Button saw that the area wasn't as populated as he had thought. There were only three players in the area and it seemed like only two of them were farming King Boletes. Button hovered his cursor over the NPC and saw that it was a level ninety-seven fighter class monster with eight thousand hit points. Nothing Button couldn't handle, but he'd probably have to stop and heal after every two fights or so.

Aware of what he was up against, Button Mash bravely left-clicked on the monster and began attacking. He struck first with, "Preemptive Strike!" a skill that stuns a target for four seconds if it is used to initiate a battle. He decided to take advantage of this opportunity and used his, "Maim," ability to inflict twenty points of bleed damage over fifteen seconds. By now, the monster was no longer stunned and immediately struck Button with a basic attack, dealing one hundred and fifty points of damage. The King Bolete had a better defense than offense. However, while its basic attacks were pathetic, at best, it had a spell called, "Purge," that dealt massive water damage and healed itself forty percent of its base HP.

It wasn't long before Button saw that the monster was beginning to cast "Purge."

Button's eyes widened in fear, "Oh crap!"

Just moments before the spell was cast, Button opened his inventory and double-clicked on an item called, "Swine Flute." In that instant, a massive pig appeared in front of him, absorbing most of the damage.

The King Bolete uses "Purge" as a last ditch effort to kill players with one strong attack. It uses it when it's at or below twenty percent of its HP. After the spell is cast, it receives a debuff that lowers all of its stat points by twenty, making it an easy kill, if the player should survive.

With the debuff active, Button activated, "Grudge," an ability that dealt tremendous damage to targets that were debuffed and below twenty percent HP. The monster roared as Sir Veywind Swift's sword pierced its flesh. It fell to the ground and next to it appeared a little white bag.

"Alright, lets see what it dropped." Button said as he clicked on the bag to examine its contents.

Inside the bag was nine hundred and thirty seven galders, five impure pearls, an archmage water ring, and a rusty dagger blade. No mysterious shells.

Button sighed. Feeling defeated, he felt like he should just stop. All the build up for an anti-climatic ending just didn't seem worth it. Before he could teleport away, he remembered that this wasn't for himself. It was for Sweetie Belle. He remembered that he had made a promise to her and he intended to keep it. Button canceled the teleportation spell he was casting and drank a health potion.

"This is for Sweetie Belle!" Button shouted at his monitor as he rushed towards another King Bolete.

Buttons' head hung to the side and stared at the screen with glossy eyes. He had been killing King Boletes for the past five hours and hadn't gotten a single shell to drop.

"Gotta get the shells. Sweetie Belle needs these shells..." Button mumbled in a half-conscious daze.

He kept telling himself that the next one will drop a shell over and over again. After a few hours of mindlessly fighting the same thing repeatedly with the hope of getting a specific item, the foal started to believe it himself. He was so engrossed in his game, he didn't even notice his mother standing at the doorway with a disappointed look on her face.