Twilight of the Automadongs
Once More Unto The Rabbit Hole...
Dear Pinkie Pie,
Please come to the library. I've baked a cake for you.
Yours truly,
Twilight Sparkle
Pinkie Pie grinned as she put the letter down on her bed. The idea of Twilight baking a cake for her was simultaneously wonderful and alarming. Wonderful because it meant Twilight was thinking about her, which was always great, and that she cared about her enough to do something to show it. That made Pinkie swell with pride and happiness.
Of course, it was alarming because the thought of Twilight in the kitchen seemed to be more appropriately followed by explosions than delicious cake.
Either way, Twilight had asked her to come over, and she wasn’t about to ignore that invitation. Cake or explosions, hanging out with Twilight was always fun.
Skipping happily along, she reached Golden Oaks Library in minutes and knocked on the door. “I’m here, Twilight!” she called. Immediately the door swung open and she poked her head inside.
Darkness loomed inside the main room of the library, rows and rows of books barely visible along the walls. Pinkie glanced over to the kitchenette, noticing a severe lack of cake on the table. Pursing her lips, she peered towards the basement; The open door and faint light coming from below certainly looked worthy of investigation.
“Twilight? Are you there?” Pinkie called down the stairs. She waited a few moments for an answer, but when none came, she shrugged and started her descent.
The creaking of the wooden steps sent a shiver down her spine; It hadn’t been all that long since this staircase led her to an underground complex of deviant sex monsters, and the memory happened to tingle her brain in a pleasant way.
Of course, that mysterious tunnel disappeared when Trixie’s spell ended, allowing the basement’s usual bookshelves-and-random-sciency-stuff decor to reassert itself.
Pinkie blinked as she reached the bottom of the stairs; There in the darkness, one of the aforementioned reasserted bookshelves appeared to be ajar.
… Like a door. Which was weird, because bookshelves weren’t doors. And they weren’t jars, either.
Pinkie gasped. Unless that bookshelf actually was a door!
Instantly Pinkie launched herself behind the bookcase, finding an entire tunnel unfolding before her, a distant, pale light visible at the other end. Yards upon yards of pristine white plating lined the walls, small blue ceiling lamps illuminating the way. Giggling with glee at her discovery, she walked forward.
“Twilight, are you down here?” She called down the tunnel. Instead of Twilight’s voice, though, the only response was the abrupt blast of air rushing by her as a large steel door sliding down from the ceiling and rudely slamming shut in front of her. “Heeey, what’s the big idea?”
Pinkie barely had time to frown before she heard another woosh behind her, turning around to see a second door trapping her there.
Pinkie narrowed her eyes. “I’m beginning to suspect there isn’t any cake.”
She would have investigated further if she hadn’t suddenly fallen asleep.
“Pinkie? Can you hear me?”
Pinkie’s eyes fluttered open to a host of blurry shapes. White. Gray. Purple. Darker purple, with a little tiny bit of lighter purple and kind of a pinkish-purple in the middle.
“Good, you’re awake.”
Pinkie yawned and scratched her head.
… Pinkie yawned and scratched her–
That’s weird, Pinkie thought as her head remained unscratched. Groggily looking up, she saw her wrist going inside a small chrome tube attached to a large wheel that appeared to arc around her body. She pulled lightly on her arm, but the restraint held strong. Looking left she saw her other arm in the same position, and sure enough looking down revealed her ankles similarly trapped.
Also, she was naked, so pretty much an average Saturday morning.
“Sorry about… Uh… Well, that,” Twilight said, and Pinkie looked over to see her dressed in a long white lab coat with thick-rimmed safety glasses and her hair up in a tight bun. She waved a clipboard in her general direction. “But, you did give me this coupon,” she added, floating a small piece of paper in front of Pinkie’s eyes with her magic.
Pinkie squinted and read aloud. “This coupon entitles its bearer to one (1) consequence-free foalnapping of one (1) Pinkamena Diane Pie under the ruse of cake so that the coupon bearer may hook her up to a giant machine and place electrodes all over her body in order to take scientific measurements of whatever kind the coupon bearer desires.”
Looking down, Pinkie saw a multitude of electrodes taped across her naked breasts, abdomen and thighs. “What an oddly specific coupon,” she giggled.
“I had a bit of a moral quandary about whether or not to use it.”
“Because coupon-based foalnapping is a bit of an ethical grey area?” Pinkie asked.
“What?” Twilight laughed and shook her head. “No, I don’t care about that. It was a moral quandary because that whole coupon is one long run-on sentence.”
Pinkie rolled her eyes and smiled. “Of course.” Now that she’d woken up a little bit more, she glanced around the room she was in. It was a small room with pristine white hexagonal tiles making up the walls. A bank of monitors sat in front of her, little green lines that she didn’t understand at all bleeping and blooping up and down. Opposite her a large white desk extended out of the wall, piles of neatly stacked papers sitting on top, which Twilight leaned against as she stared disapprovingly at her clipboard and chewed on her pen.
Pinkie always thought it was cute how Twilight chewed on her pens.
A beep to her left drew her attention. The wires from the electrodes ran in a bundle into the base of one of the larger monitors, which Twilight dashed over to, eyes wide with excitement. “Interesting,” she muttered, making a note on her clipboard.
“What’s interesting?” Pinkie asked, craning her neck to see around Twilight.
Twilight straightened up and cleared her throat. “I’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here today.”
“Not really,” Pinkie shrugged. “You’ve foalnapped me under the ruse of cake, and now you’re taking whatever kind of scientific readings you desire, as per the coupon.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Right, but… Aren’t you curious about what kind of scientific readings I’m taking?”
“Nope!” Pinkie smiled.
Twilight deflated, pouting a bit. “Oh…”
“... Do you want to explain it anyway?”
Twilight blushed. “... Maybe?”
Pinkie giggled. “Okay. Go ahead.”
“Alright. So,” Twilight began, “you may not have known this, but I’ve spent several years now attempting to design a scientifically optimized auto-erotic gratification device.”
“Auto-eroto-what-now?”
“... I’m trying to build the perfect sex toy.”
“Oooooooh.”
“Through rigorous... analysis... I determined the parameters of what would, conceptually, be a perfect orgasm. Then, I built a machine that would fulfill those parameters.”
“Is this it?” Pinkie asked, nodding her head toward the machine around her.
Twilight smirked. “No, it’s much larger than this one. But I encountered a problem.”
“What’s the problem?”
Twilight pushed her glasses up against her nose. “In attempting to utilize the machine for its intended purpose, I have found it consistently fails to achieve its objective before depleting its energy reserves.”
“... What?”
Twilight sighed. “It keeps running out of power before I come.”
Pinkie gasped. “That’s horrible!”
“I know!” Twilight groaned.
“Have you tried hooking it up to Ponyville’s power grid?” Pinkie asked.
“Well…” Twilight blushed again, lightly pressing the tips of her fingers together, “... remember last Wednesday night?”
Pinkie thought back to last Wednesday night. She’d been baking muffins. Blueberry muffins. They would have been delicious, but a few minutes after putting them in the oven, the power went out. Pinkie’s eyes widened. “You mean–”
Twilight nodded. “It knocked out the power grid.”
Pinkie whistled. “Impressive.”
“So, we’re looking at using an external power source, but it has to be powerful enough to sustain the machine’s energy needs through completion. Now, I’ve spent several months working on the power source without much progress, but last weekend I had a breakthrough.”
“During our LARP?”
“After our LARP. You see, I designed this,” Twilight said, pressing a series of keys on one of the monitors. One of the hexagonal tiles on the floor slid open, a podium rising into view. Atop the podium sat a small blue cube encased in glass.
“Ooooooooooooooh,” Pinkie oohed. “... Whazzat?”
“It’s a power source I designed,” Twilight explained, “that – in theory – should be strong enough to power the machine. I hadn’t found an effective way to charge it, though, until last week.”
Pinkie scratched – … Pinkie would have scratched her head if she could. “Okay?”
“The idea is that it captures excess magic, from a unicorn’s routine magic use, for example. But, it can capture excess magic any pony gives off; not just unicorns. I tried to charge it with my own magic, but… well, it turns out it’s not so easy. It takes a lot of magic to charge this thing. Imagine my surprise, then, when I returned downstairs after our LARP and found it fully charged!”
“No way!”
“Curiosity piqued, I investigated,” Twilight said. “Through rigorous… experimentation... I determined that the energy which charged the cube came from our orgasms.”
Pinkie snorted. “Seriously?”
“I know it sounds ridiculous,” Twilight said through a small, embarrassed laugh, “but it’s true. Apparently, during orgasm, a mare gives off an incredible amount of excess magical energy, and the cube is able to capture that for later use.”
“What happened next?”
Twilight blushed again, turning away from Pinkie. “Well, naturally, I tested the power source, and…”
“Aaaaaaand?”
“... It still ran out too quickly.”
Pinkie groaned. “Aw, man!”
“But! I came up with a theory! If the cube can capture excess energy while feeding the machine, it might just work.”
“You’re putting a lot of work into this, Twi-twi.” Pinkie chuckled. “Can’t you just masturbate like a normal pony?”
Twilight’s spine straightened abruptly as she rounded on Pinkie. “It’s for science!” she protested, tugging her labcoat tight around herself. “Progress is important!”
Pinkie nodded. “That’s true. So, is that why I’m here? To test the new theory?”
“Yes,” Twilight said bluntly, pressing a few buttons. The podium receded back into the floor, out of view.
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie smiled.
“I just need you to sign this consent form before we begin,” Twilight said, walking over and holding the clipboard out to Pinkie.
“Uhh…” Pinkie nodded her head toward her restrained wrists and giggled.
“... Oh. Right. Well, I suppose verbal consent is sufficient, in this case,” Twilight chuckled.
“It’s A-OK with me!” Pinkie cheered.
“Alright then. I’ll be leaving the room, and the experiment will begin momentarily.”
Pinkie watched Twilight leave and smiled to herself. She could hear the whooshing of doors opening and closing throughout the facility before Twilight’s voice boomed around the room. “Can you hear me?” she asked.
“Yep!” Pinkie called back, though she wasn’t sure if Twilight could actually hear her.
“Good. Now, if you’re uncomfortable at any point or want to stop, just–”
“Say Kumquat!?” Pinkie grinned.
“–… Fine,” Twilight sighed over the intercom.
“Alright. I’m ready.”
“Beginning, in 3… 2… 1…”
A shiver ran down Pinkie’s spine as Twilight’s words echoed around the chamber. A small whirring from above drew her attention, and she saw a transparent oxygen mask attached to a jointed chrome tube lowering down. She pulled her neck back as it leveled with her face, raising an eyebrow. Twilight must have been worried she’d forget to breathe or something, so she wanted to help make sure she got enough oxygen. Pinkie smiled as she thought of how sweet that was of her.
With a sudden jerk of motion the mask snapped forward, covering her mouth and nose. She squeaked with surprise as she felt it clasp around the back of her head. Once all the sudden movements stopped, it was actually kind of comfortable, in an odd sort of foalnapped-by-a-mad-scientist-who-cares-about-your-comfort-and-proper-oxygenation kind of way.
Pinkie glanced up as a subtle hiss started in the tube, and a moment later she felt her nose and throat tingling. She blinked rapidly as a flowery scent struck her, like she’d been huffing a bottle of Rarity’s expensive perfume. A sudden wave of dizziness swept over her, and she was suddenly glad for the restraints holding her up lest she would have collapsed to the floor.
Pinkie Pie fluttered her eyelashes subconsciously. This was not oxygen.
She breathed heavily and let her neck fall forward only to see a small hole opening up in the floor, out of which rose a large neon blue phallus with small studs on a metal piston. She barely had time to blink before additional whirrs fired from the sides, two metal tentacles topped with similarly colored orbs rising predatorily in front of her.
With a loud buzz the orbs snapped forward, vibrating as they traced small loops around Pinkie’s abdomen. She moaned softly, biting down on her lip as the flowery scent continued filling her mind. She fidgeted in her restraints as one of the orbs traced the upper edge of her pelvis, the other barely nicking the underside of her bosom before darting back down to her navel. Her muscles successively tensed up and released as they repeated these motions, toying mercilessly with her expectations.
Pinkie whimpered as she felt a rivulet of excitement trail down the inside of her leg. The lower orb descended with cruel hesitation, trailing down towards her folds before abruptly veering around them and continuing its work on her inner thighs. Her breath shuddered as she moved her hips, trying fruitlessly to bring the orb into contact with more sensitive parts. The other one pressed firmly into the flesh of her right breast, stroking across her hardened nipple and stopping there, pinning it against her skin and forcing her back to arch as she pulled helplessly against her restraints.
A squeal of frustration slipped past her teeth, echoing back around the room. The lower orb broke contact, giving her a moment’s reprieve before she felt it sliding up her abdomen again, mimicking its partner and tormenting her remaining nipple as she strained her arms in their sockets.
Without warning she felt something pressing softly against her vulva, and her entire body jolted. She sucked air in through her teeth, whimpering quietly as the phallus started vibrating as well. She could feel its girth prodding gently between her folds, one of the studs momentarily brushing up against her clit and unleashing a whole series of spasms throughout her groin.
The orbs finally showed some mercy, tracing away from her nipples and massaging the sides of her breasts, sending vibrations all throughout her rib cage. The phallus pressed further inside her, burying itself to the hilt before slowly retracting, her petals clinging to its sides as it slid out.
The piston increased its pace, stroking her inner walls and flooding her body with warm tingling waves. She felt the pressure mounting inside of her, her muscles growing tighter with each new incursion. She could hear her own moans and gasps muffled by the not-oxygen mask, but then also a soft, heavy breathing coming over the loudspeaker. She giggled as she heard Twilight’s voice whispering something, though her mirth was cut short by the vibrator’s reentry.
Pinkie bit down hard on her lower lip, quivering violently as the orbs circled her areolae and the piston pushed deeper and deeper inside her. Her neck snapped back as she let out a feral scream, unable to hold the pressure any longer. All at once, she felt her body tensing up, bolts of raw energy shooting through her synapses and triggering a deluge of pleasure to overwhelm her mind.
When her head stopped spinning, Pinkie took a deep breath and assessed her situation, at least as well as she could with her head swimming in endorphins. Rather than the relaxation she expected, though, the machine’s ministrations continued, and she could hear Twilight getting louder and more excited over the intercom. She imagined Twilight must have been strapped into a similar machine, but on a larger scale, restrained and pleasured by who knew how many different appendages and–
Pinkie’s breath caught in her throat as she realized she was tensing up again, her neon blue tormentors easily coaxing another series of elated convulsions from her defenseless body.
Twilight’s moaning kept building. Between the two of them and the droning machinery Pinkie could barely hear her own thoughts.
The lights went out. Pinkie closed her eyes and reopened them to make sure. Darkness. She felt the vibrator slide out of her, and the orbs stopped vibrating and broke contact with her body. Also, she noticed the not-oxygen mask coming loose, and greedily sucked in the clean air as fast as possible.
Her head started to clear almost immediately, though the flowery scent lingered in her nostrils. After a few moments of hanging there in darkness, the lights came back on and she heard Twilight shouting what Pinkie had to admit were some very creative obscenities over the intercom.
The sudden whoosh of the door brought Pinkie’s head to attention, where she saw Twilight stomping in, lab coat haphazardly thrown back on and her hair half-way out of its bun, looking utterly disheveled.
“Unbelievable!” Twilight grunted, tromping over to the desk and swiping up a pile of the papers.
“... Didn’t it work?” Pinkie panted, doing her best to keep her head up.
“No!” Twilight shouted, throwing the papers on the floor and pressing her fingers to the bridge of her nose. “And I was so close, too!”
Pinkie took several deep breaths and blinked the sweat from her eyes. “Oh… Sorry…”
Twilight sighed, pulling her bun out and walking over to Pinkie. “It’s not your fault, Pinkie. Thanks for trying.”
Pinkie giggled in between pants. “Any time.”
Twilight picked up her clipboard and started writing. “It looks like the idea was sound – it did last almost twice as long as it has in past test runs – but we still need more power to feed into the cube.”
“How much more power?” Pinkie asked.
Twilight frowned. “About… six times as much.”
Pinkie nodded. “Convenient.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Huh? How is that convenient?”
Pinkie laughed lightly. “It’s the weekend, Twi.”
Twilight blinked before recognition flashed across her face. “Oh! But… That’s still only five, plus me using the machine itself…”
“Aren’t you forgetting somebody?”
“You, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Rarity, Applejack…” Suddenly Twilight scrunched up her face. “Eww, Pinkie, you don’t mean Spike, do you? He’s a child!”
Pinkie laughed uproariously. “Noooo! Of course not! Nobody wants to have sex with Spike. I’m talking about Trixie!”
“Oh.” Twilight blinked again. “... That’s a great idea.”
Pinkie, still laughing at the idea of anyone ever wanting to have sex with Spike, wiped the tears from her eyes with her bangs. “So… can I come down now?”
“Oh, right. Sorry,” Twilight said, tapping a few keys on the keyboard. Pinkie’s restraints immediately loosened and she fell shakily to her feet. Another podium rose out of the floor, her clothes resting on top.
“Well, if we’re going to make this happen this weekend, we’d better get started. I’ll go get the others; When you’re dressed, follow the path back towards the basement; It should be easy to find.”
“Okay,” Pinkie said, pulling her tanktop over her head. “I’ll see you up there!”
Twilight waved to her as she passed through the doors again, and Pinkie hummed as she pulled her panties back on. This is going to be fun, she snickered to herself.
“... And so that’s why I need you to strap you all into sex machines and harvest the energy released in your orgasms.” Twilight smiled brightly as she gestured to the machines behind her. “Any questions?”
Her friends glanced around for a few moments before Trixie raised her hand.
“Yes, Trixie?”
“Trixie wonders what the game will be this time?”
Twilight arched her eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“She means,” Rarity began, stepping forward, “what game are we playing to justify this course of action?”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “There’s no game; This is for science.”
“Umm… But it’s the weekend,” Fluttershy said softly from behind her mane.
“So?” Twilight asked.
“Hold up,” Rainbow said, suppressing a laugh. “Did you expect us to just get in?”
“... Yes?”
Rainbow stopped suppressing her laugh, Pinkie and Applejack joining her.
“If you want yer ‘super-orgasm,’ ya gotta earn it, Sugarcube!” Applejack said, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes.
Twilight frowned. “Fine! We’ll make it a game, then.”
“Yay!” Pinkie cheered. Twilight rolled her eyes, noticing Trixie’s hand raised again.
“Yes, Trixie?”
“Trixie still wonders what the game will be this time.”
Twilight stroked her chin as she thought. If her friends wanted a game to play, she did have a lot of other inventions lying around she’d been waiting for an opportunity to test…
“I have an idea, actually.”
“Is the idea sex robots?” Pinkie asked, a giant smile crossing her face. Trixie suddenly straightened her spine and blushed.
Twilight felt her jaw slacken. “How did you know!?”
Pinkie giggled. “You left me alone down here for like an hour, Twi. Did you think I wasn’t gonna look around?”
“Wait,” Rainbow interrupted, “You have sex robots? Like, just lying around?”
Twilight pursed her lips. “Maybe.”
“... Why?”
“For science!” Twilight protested, feeling her own cheeks warming up. “Strictly for science.”
“Yeah,” Pinkie snickered, “mad science.”
Her friends laughed.
“I’m not mad!”
“Of course you’re not,” Rarity said, shaking her head. “Creating a multitude of sex robots isn’t something a mad sci–” Giggle. “Isn’t something a mad scien–” Giggle. “Isn’t something a mad scientist would – Oh I’m sorry Twilight, but that’s clearly mad!” She burst out laughing.
“Fine!” Twilight roared, silencing the laughter. “You want to see mad science?” Twilight’s horn sprang to life, purple light sweeping the room before vanishing. “You’ll find the relevant backstory and materials in the lobby. You have one hour. Be ready.”
Her friends stared blankly for a few moments, before Applejack gently tugged at her hat. “Uh… We didn’t mean nothin’ by it, Twi. We were just makin’ a bit of fun.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Fifty nine minutes and forty-three seconds.”
Her friends exchanged slow glances before turning tail and fleeing up the stairs.
Twilight laughed to herself and walked toward the back of the lab. She picked up a small chrome box with a large red button and pressed it firmly.
A loud clanging echoed throughout the lab as a hangar door opened in front of her, the lab’s blue light glinting off chrome in the darkness.
I’ll show them mad science…