Daring Do and the Pyramid of Testacles

The torch whooshed as it passed through the air, held in a muzzle as the owner looked around at the sandstone ruins around them, the torchlight flickering and causing her tan body to cast shadows against ancient hieroglyphics and tales of days long since past.

Daring Do, the greatest and most intrepid archaeologist of the century, according to some, was plumbing the depths of these ancient Neighgyptian ruins; they hadn't been easy to find, or simple to get into, and that was why Daring Do, trademark pith hat firmly in place upon her head, was the first living soul to set hoof in the tomb for hundreds, if not thousands of years.

Behind her, her trusty assistant Prismatic Sprint was the second living soul to set hoof in the tomb for hundreds, if not thousands of years, carrying her own torch and a beacon in her own right, her sky-blue coat and rainbow-hued mane sticking out against the sandy, dark environs.

"So, Professor," Prismatic said, looking around, gawking at the faded paintings and crumbling carvings. "Find of the century, or find of the century?"

"Mmm, find of the century, perhaps," Daring Do mused, her keen pegasus eye running over the ancient symbols and deciphering them. "I think this may be the lost tomb of Testacles..."

"Testicles? The Neighgyptian Pharaoh that sired the Thousand Sons and caused the Neighgyptian War of Kings?" Prismatic asked. "That Testicles?"

"It's Test-ah-clees," Daring corrected. "And yes, he was renowned for his... virility," Daring admitted. "And his obsession with sex. That's been noted. Several times on this wall alone, actually."

"What is that wall talking about, anyway?" Prismatic asked, stepping over to the wall to join Daring.

The combined light of their torches illuminated the wall completely, depicting a rather large picture of some headgear-adorned stallion buried to the hilt in some mare, with additional mares clinging to his hindlegs and gazing upwards with an expression that was clearly supposed to be longing. In any other ruler of an ancient civilization, it would be blatant self aggrandizement. In Testacles's case, though, it probably wasn't.

"Does that answer your question?" Daring asked. "Do I need to translate the Neighgyptian?"

Prismatic blushed. "No, I- I can read it."

Daring looked around, wiping her brow with the sleeve of her khaki shirt. "Accounts of his conquests aside, this tomb should hold artefacts of more... historical value. It's been said he was buried with more than a few unique artefacts and items of power, after all."

"I heard he was buried with a ninja sword!" Prismatic contributed.

Daring looked at Prismatic. There was a reason one of them had degrees in history and archaeology, and the other did not.

"I suppose we'll find out, won't we?" Daring said, turning towards a narrow doorway. "Come on, this is supposed to lead to his final resting place."

The two stepped through the doorway in single file, and found themselves in a much wider corridor on the other side; the walls were lined with holes from floor to ceiling, one doorway to another. It was wide enough for about four to stand abreast, and if you were standing inside the corridor, you were in range of whatever it was that came out of the holes. Luckily, whatever it was, it seemed to be inactive, allowing the two mares to stand there unmolested. The air tasted drier than usual.

"Why did so many Neighgyptian pharaohs feel the need to put traps in their tombs like this?" Prismatic sighed.

"Don't move," Daring said, holding up a hoof as she looked at the floor. "Something's up."

The two looked at the floor; the tiles ran to the end of the corridor, each one displaying a number of heiroglyphs that spelt out single words with no discernable pattern.

"Why does this tile read "chunky"?" Prismatic asked, pointing at one.

"I think this is the trap," Daring said. "If we step on the wrong tiles, we trigger the trap. Which looks like a spear trap, to me."

"But how do we know which ones are the bad ones?" Prismatic pressed. "I see the symbol for "Neighpon", I think that one says "chunky" again, but it has a funny accent on it..."

"Bottom," Daring translated automatically, and blushed. "Oh."

"And this one?" Prismatic asked, pointing at another one in front of her.

"Breasts," Daring said, her hypothesis confirmed. "This is a hallway of what Testacles liked in a mare."

"Oh." Prismatic blushed as well. "Uh, so, what sets off the traps?"

"Whatever it was he didn't like."

"He was picky?"

"Apparently," Daring said.

"Couldn't we just fly over it all?" Prismatic asked.

Daring spread her wings and flapped them to no effect. "Taste that dry air?" she asked. "Testacles must have had this corridor enchanted with a no-fly spell. Clever clod."

"Too damn clever for his own good, if you ask me," Prismatic groused. "Alright, let's get this over and done with."

Prismatic took the lead, stepping hesitantly on the "Chunky" tile. She put her weight on it, bouncing up and down a little to test it, and felt no give. She looked back at Daring.

"Guess he was a fan of fat chicks," Daring said.

"Weight was a sign of prosperity and wealth," Daring guessed. "Neighgyptians also prized... fertility and ability to carry a child."

"So the booty and boobs tiles are safe," Prismatic concluded.

"Yeah, basically," Daring said. "Keep that in mind."

"Mhmm," Prismatic said looking down. "Let's see... tall? Short? Huh." Prismatic looked back up at Daring. "Some of these are conflicting."

"Then pick one," Daring said, moving along her half of the corridor a little quicker. "No point picking both and risking a wrong answer."

Prismatic nodded, and stepped forward, moving on.

The two mares moved down the corridor relatively quick, making judgement calls as to what kind of women Testacles liked to bed – as they progressed, they realized that practically every tile was a right answer. He liked them tall, short, pegasus and unicorn. Even the heiroglyph for "male" was not a wrong answer. And so they grew complacent.

A complacency punished as Prismatic stepped forward, and wobbled as her hoof sunk down an extra inch.

"Oh no," Daring said. "Prismatic, what did-"

"White," Prismatic reported. "He didn't like white ponies?"

The walls rumbled, and Daring motioned towards the far door. "Come on! Let's go!"

The two ran for it, dust starting to fall in clouds around them, torches whooshing and flickering wildly in the shifting air as they fled the corridor; to their horror, the walls were starting to move inwards, and the far door was rumbling as it tried to drop. The ancient mechanism that the door relied on was ancient, though, and seemed like it had become stuck with disuse; not something that looked like it was going to hold forever.

Prismatic and Daring sprinted for it, and as one, realized the doorway was only wide enough for one as the door dropped abruptly, stopping with about a foot and a half clearance from the ground.

"You go!" Prismatic urged, hesitating.

"Shut up, and get under there!" Daring shouted, grabbing Prismatic by the rear and chest, and bodily throwing the other pegasus forward. Prismatic landed on her stomach, sliding forward on the sandstone and coasting to a halt just on the other side of the door as the stone finally slipped, and fell down with a bang and a cry of alarm.

"My tail!" Prismatic wailed, and there was a grunting sound. "It's stuck!"

"Don't worry!" Daring shouted. "You can pull it free, just do it a little at a time! You'll be fine!"

"What about you?" Prismatic asked.

Daring looked around at the closed corridor, with it's walls now at a startling two-ponies-wide distance apart, if those ponies stood head to tail. There were no visible mechanisms, just the walls closing in and the tiles on the ground. If Prismatic was stuck, there was no way she could make it to a trap release lever on the other side... if there even was one.

"Tell them I..." Daring swallowed. "Tell them I died doing what I loved."

"I'm so sorry, Daring," Prismatic said quietly, barely audible through the door and over the grinding of stone. There was a grunt of effort, and the tuft of rainbow mane stuck on Daring's side of the door jumped as a fraction of it was pulled through.

Daring faced the walls and considered the holes. Nothing was coming out of them. Perhaps the cutoff was inside one? She ran back into the middle of the corridor, and looked around for the slightest hint; she found it, in a faintly scratched symbol next to a hole, an arrow.

Surely not? Daring approached it, and found her hoof was too big to fit inside it. She put her eye to the hole to try and see inside, when something moved and tried to go the other way.

"Argh!" Daring stumbled backwards, dropping her torch reflexively and holding her eye as whatever it was that was hiding in the hole poked her in it, stumbling backwards. As she did, she bumped into the other closing wall, and felt soft protrusions in that wall, too, causing her to jump away in alarm and rub her eye so she could get a better look.

It was a penis. That was what had poked her in the eye. And she'd backed up into a multitude of them, protruding from the far wall. All was silent as she contemplated this development, but a heartbeart later, the walls started moving again.

Daring groaned internally as she had an idea, and reached out to the first penis with a wing. It was soft and floppy, half erect, and felt organic, although Daring could see signs of magic in it's construction. Part of the trap. And as she touched it, her hypothesis was confirmed when the walls stopped moving with it.

"This is disgusting," she groaned, rubbing the penis with her wing, stroking it up and down. As she did, it became more erect, starting to throb as it grew harder and longer. The wall she wasn't paying attention to started to move, and she quickly spread herself out, running her other wing over the other penises, causing that wall to stop.

As she gave two magical penises wingjobs, she looked to the exit; she could still see rainbow tail poking out, but couldn't hear Prismatic, if she was even making any noise. And it didn't look like she herself could abandon her job to look for another way out, as it were. Daring Do was all alone in this.

A blessing and a curse. Daring considered the nature of the trap and how she'd halted it. Perhaps... perhaps causing the wall's penis to climax would disable the trap? It seemed like a very "Testacles" solution.

She resolved to lie about this trap in future, and say there was a release lever inside one of the holes, as she turned to face the solitary penis, wrapping her tail around the other wall penises, stroking them gently to keep them busy as she focused both wings on the single penis.

She gripped it gently, stroking it up and down as she gently brushed it from beneath with her other wing; it seemed to work, as the penis went harder than before, starting to bulge. Daring adjusted her grip, feathering it from both sides, before she breathed gently on the head of the penis.

The warmth of her breath seemed to do it, and the penis erupted, spraying a short spurt of white jizz out of the end; unfortunately for Daring, her mouth had been open, and she coughed and spat as she tried to get it out of her mouth, gagging.

So distracted, she barely noticed the walls beginning to move again, the wall behind her not getting any action from her tail anymore, and the one in front of her, cum running down the penis' underside, beginning to pearl into a droplet.

Daring's eyes remained fixed on that droplet as she stopped gagging and scraping her tongue. Instead, she closed her mouth and licked her lips – sure it was gross, but once you got past that initial surprise... it had this certain...

She got up, and hesitantly, sniffing at the penis, opened her mouth and licked the underside, catching the forming droplet of cum and running her tongue back up to the tip, the walls grinding to a halt again.

She closed her mouth, and tasted it as she swallowed what little she'd licked up. Not bad, she supposed. But she needed more to get an accurate opinion. She opened her mouth, and placed the throbbing member in her mouth, licking the head with her tongue. She pulled back, and licked up the side of it, then back to the underside as she rubbed her face alongside the penis at the same time, trying to coax more out of it.

It quivered, but did not deliver.

She had to go deeper, then. She placed the head back in her mouth, and wrapping her tongue around the member, pushed her head forward, easing more of it into her mouth until it was full. She sucked on it, running her tongue all over it, and breathed deeply, a heady musk filling her nostrils. It wasn't enough, she needed more.

She bobbed her head back and forth, slathering the cock with spit that shone in the light of the torch that lay on the ground, forgotten. And the cock infuriated her a little; all this attention, for so little result? Sure, it had been some time since college, but she wasn't that rusty, was she?

Daring wondered if she was; it had been a long time, now that she thought of it, and all of it spent married more to her work than any potential suitors – of which there had been quite a few, truth be told.

Well, there was one way to answer that. She dipped deep once more, feeling the head of the cock bounce against the back of her throat as she slathered it up just a little more, pulled back, took a deep breath, and pushed forward, suppressing her gag reflex. The cock sank in deeper, sliding in further than it had before, and Daring felt her throat bulge and heave as the now impressively long cock entered it; she adjusted her posture to straighten out her throat, and pushed a little more, getting another inch or two in, all but bottoming out the wall penis, her snout almost touching the wall through which it protruded.

She coughed, a muffled gagging sound, and felt her chest heave as it tried to draw breath through approximately eight inches of cock; a futile action, and with a whimper of frustration and a little regret, Daring pulled back; it slithered out of her throat again with a wet schlick and she gasped for breath the moment it was clear, nostrils flaring as her body screamed for breath. As she recovered, she noted that the cock wasn't the only thing that was dripping wet, touching a hoof to her own clit and noting the moisture there.

She still had it, she mused to herself with a small smile, before taking another breath, and impaling her throat on the cock once more, faster this time, the inevitable gurk of her gag reflex going off doing nothing to deter her. She rotated her head, lapping at what little penis wouldn't fit into her mouth weakly with the tip of her tongue, jaw trying to pull her face further along and closer to the wall. The brim of her pith hat touched it, and as she rotated her head, it fell off, dislodged.

And she was rewarded, as the cock in her throat finally throbbed, warmth flowing through it as it pulsed and pumped; she pulled back, in time to catch a proper mouthful of the cum this time, the cock spraying over her snout and face as she swallowed it eagerly. Definitely not bad, but... perhaps a second opinion? Just to make sure?

Before Daring had time to prepare to solicit that second serving, she felt an impact on her rear, and found herself smushed face-first into the wall, her face right next to the hole where an increasingly limp penis now dangled out of. She twisted her head around to see the wall behind her had apparently decided to move forward without her noticing. Or maybe both walls had still been moving together while she'd been working. Hard to say. One thing was for sure, though, the semi-flaccid, half-mast penises of before were gone, and now they were tantalizingly firm and conveniently within range of her own moist nethers.

She could feel them, moving slightly as they rubbed themselves over her thighs and backside, feeling over her compass cutie mark and underside. As they did, Daring Do realized there was a gap in the coverage. They were everywhere but directly behind her. Why was-

Oh. She felt why almost as quickly as she asked herself that, and found herself slumping against the far wall as it slid inside her, a formerly recessed penis apparently just lining itself up with her. It penetrated her deeply, and Daring moaned as it seemed to rotate inside her like some sort of obscene probe, or a key in a lock, feeling her out from the inside.

And then it withdrew, a vacuum of warmth in its absence, eliciting an open moan of pleasure from Daring Do, a grunt of longing that was quickly satisfied as the cock rammed back in, filling Daring almost perfectly, like nopony else ever had. The throbbing length felt like it was made for her, a part of her, pushing in all the right places, just the right amount to make her purr.

Daring blinked as she was ravaged by the wall penis, chest flat against the forward wall as she stared up at the ceiling, lost in ecstasy, drooling slightly with the pleasure. It really had been too long. After this... she was so due a holiday. Sun, sand, and hopefully, a few toy-boys. She panted hard as she tried to look back at the member pumping in and out of her vagina steadily now. The toy-boys would be a bit of a disappointment after this, though. Definitely.

She looked back to the front, and saw the relatively limp and shrunken member from before. She was a little breathless now, sure, but... yeah, why not? She leaned forward, pushed in part by the cock in her rear, and engulfed the penis with her mouth, licking it and massaging it with her tongue and cheeks. She felt it quickly grow, becoming partly erect again as she tasted the salty fluid from before, breathing heavily and lustfully through her nose with a snuffling, snorting sound.

She felt long shapes run themselves up her sides, and under her wings; she didn't waste time obliging them, wrapping her wings around them and closing them, forming a tight, warm, feathery space, and they, in turn, wasted no time pumping in and out of their new homes, their warm lengths running up and down Daring Do's sides as the cock behind her continued to run her through to her core, and the one in her mouth began to expand down her throat again.

She felt something bump against her buttcheeks ever so briefly, and thought nothing of it, lost in the spit-roasting she was starting to get from the two cocks, now both fully erect and pumping in and out of their own accord, Daring doing nothing to stop them except moan inbetween throatfuls of meat.

Then a push on the underside of her tail, which she flicked out of the way instinctively before she felt a third push, this time on her anus. It gave her pause, feeling a rather wide, flat-headed penis of considerable hardness probing her butthole and the area around it. She tried to pull her head back and turn around to get a look, but before she could, the cock in her throat buried itself in her throat at the same time as the one in her vagina bottomed out, far firmer than it had previously.

She was stuck and couldn't move as the cock pressed against her tight asshole, and the first wail of fear in a long while tried to escape her mouth, muffled by the sheer volume of meat pressing against her voicebox, Daring beginning to buck and heave reflexively with a need to breathe. The cock pressed harder, and Daring felt her opening stretch to accommodate the slightly-moist intruder, bit by bit. Eventually, it opened wide enough, and the cock was able to squeeze inside, slipping inside her by an inch.

Daring sagged a little as the sensation overwhelmed her, but the firm cocks in her orifices held her up despite her weak knees, and Daring gurgled and choked on the cock deepthroating her as she was subjected to this new sensation in her ass, the cock slowly but surely pressing more of itself into her.

She could feel its girth, it was sizable, even for a stallion, and every inch it pressed into her felt like a mile, the foreign member pressing against her walls in concert with the dick in her vagina, massaging her insides simultaneously. The alarm she had felt previously was gone, although the strength stayed out of her knees as she hung there, held aloft by penises, getting railed in ways she'd never been before, to degrees she'd never dared do before.

The cock in her ass eventually stopped travelling in, and began to withdraw; it felt like it was pulling her insides with it, a concept that alarmed Daring Do, deep down, but closer to the surface, felt fucking fantastic, and she welcomed the withdrawral vocally and with gusto.

Which meant she was in for a real treat when it reinserted itself, having almost-but-not-quite withdrawn, this time travelling a little quicker, those inches still feeling ten times as long as they actually were, still running along her insides and massaging them into the dick next door, as it were. Her eyes rolled back as the pace quickened, and lost in the sensation, she had no idea how long it was before she felt the members in her begin to throb, growing warm, coinciding with her own. She knew what was coming, and so was she.

Her body tensed up, and her own channels contracted as she climaxed, fluid running in rivulets around the cock in her vagina and down her legs, dripping to the floor in puddles; it mixed with the fluid from the cocks as they pulsed and twitched, fluid flowing into Daring Do's insides seemingly by the gallon and after a few seconds escaping where pressure afforded them an escape, milky white rivulets running out of Daring's vagina and around the dick blocking her anus, thick white goo dribbling out of Daring's nostrils.

The penises held the insensate mare aloft for a while, until they, too, were too limp to remain upright, and with a slithering, Daring Do fell off them, the penises pulling out of her holes and hanging limp from their holes in the walls before retracting themselves.

Daring Do came to, coughing and snorting as she tried to draw a clear breath, dizzy with afterglow and irregular breathing. She stirred, legs moving in puddles of fluids on the ground in the light of the torch, which was starting to gutter out as it absorbed moisture from the edge of the puddle. She tried to stagger upright and found it outside of her power for the moment; she felt like she'd outrun a hundred boulders, and had that high she felt when she solved a puzzle, this sense of... accomplishment.

She cracked an eye open, breaking the seal of crusty jizz on it, and moaned weakly as she tried to stretch. Wasn't much space left in the corridor, that was for sure. Walls were practically boxing her in. She lifted her head, and bumped into something.

She pulled her head back and looked up; it was a fresh penis, dangling in front of her, and it wasn't alone, the wall in front of her starting to sprout them all around her. She looked behind her, and fresh penises were taking their places in the holes that sat between the two moist butt-marks on the sandstone wall, quickly growing erect, more than one occupying each hole.

She looked at the exit, and saw that while Prismatic Sprint's tuft of tail was gone, the door was still not yet opened. She looked back at the walls of penises, quickly growing to half-hardness in anticipation. Daring gulped nervously in anticipation of the task ahead, and wiped a dribble of drool from the corner of her jizz-crusted mouth.

Definitely going to need a holiday after this little adventure.