The Good Stuff

by GeodesicDragon

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Sex, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1635

Cubic has sex with Irn Bru. It's not as weird as you think.

Cubic has sex with Irn Bru.

It's not as weird as you think.

Published 2014-09-21 05:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-21 05:40:02 UTC

One-Shot

Author's Note

I was talking to Internetianer (AKA Inter) on TeamSpeak one day, when I showed him a picture of an OC I created. Said OC was Irn Bru, whom I based on the popular Scottish soft drink. In fact, many people refer to it as our 'other national drink.'

Inter likes Irn Bru, but he can't get it in Germany because it's too damn expensive. So he promptly said "Irn Bru pony can S my D."

This story is the result of that sentence, and I regret nothing.

OC Ownership: Cubic belongs to Inter, and Irn Bru belongs to me.

Irn Bru is a registered trademark of AG Barr PLC — whom I am not endorsed by, nor affiliated with. Blah blah blah, legal stuff.

One-Shot

THE GOOD STUFF

by GeodesicDragon

The town of Ponyville, despite ponies saying to the contrary, wasn't as dull as anypony thought. In one isolated corner of the town, Berry's Brewery was filled to the brim — much like the mugs of cider being consumed by the patrons.

One of them, a unicorn stallion, sat at the bar with a mug of the golden nectar in his magical aura. He looked around, occasionally catching the eye of a nearby mare and winking at her — to which most of them responded with a roll of their own eyes.

Cubic sighed, taking another swig of his cider, as a mare took the seat next to him. He glanced at her, taking notice of her bright orange coat and blazing blue mane. Her cutie mark was a clear plastic bottle filled with an orange liquid.

"Hey there, gorgeous," she said. "My names Irn Bru, and I'm looking for a good time. You up for a bit of fun?" Cubic's ears perked up in surprise, his eyes widening as he turned to face her. "No, you're not imagining things — I am indeed asking you if you want to take me home and fuck me."

"R-really?" he stammered. "Why me?"

Irn Bru shrugged. "Because one, I think you're a good looking, masculine stallion and two, I'm really fucking horny."

"You sound like a slut," Cubic replied. "So hell yeah, I'll fuck you." He drained the rest of his cider in one gulp, wiped his mouth, and stood up. "By the way, my name is Cubic... and I'll be the one fucking your brains out tonight."

Irn Bru giggled. "Nice to meet you, Cubic," she said, running a forehoof along his cutie mark. "Now, lead on."

Cubic grinned, grabbed hold of her forehoof in his magical aura, and quickly ran out of the bar. Irn Bru squeaked in shock as she was rushed along the cobbled streets and up the steps of what she presumed to be Cubic's house. Letting her go, he unlocked the door and led the way inside, kicking at piles of rubbish which lay strewn around the floor. Walking into the stallion's living room, Irn Bru smirked at the sight of him on the couch.

"Nice place." she grinned, looking around at the mess. "Good thing we're about to get nice and dirty as well, huh?"

Cubic sat completely still, his fur glistening with sweat as he fiddled nervously with his mane. He watched, patiently, as Irn Bru slowly trotted towards him — her flank swaying with every step she took and her eyes burning with lust.

“So, Cubic,” she said sultrily. “Do you like what you see?”

Cubic nodded. “I do,” he replied. “I want you so much, Irn Bru.”

Irn Bru giggled. “The feeling is mutual,” she said, slowly trailing a forehoof along Cubic’s sheath. His cock slowly rose to full mast, at which the mare grinned. “Oh, yeah, I’m going to enjoy this.”

She leaned in closer and slowly licked his shaft from balls to head, coating his length in a faint layer of saliva. Cubic groaned as Irn Bru’s tongue danced around his shaft, licking daintily at his balls. He closed his eyes, silently wishing for the feelings he was experiencing to never end.

“Don’t you fall asleep on me now, big boy,” Irn Bru purred. “I’m not quite finished with you yet.”

She opened her mouth wider, taking the head of Cubic’s cock into it. Wrapping her lips around his girth, she took the plunge — driving herself all the way to the base in one swift motion. Cubic opened his eyes and gasped, sitting bolt upright to be greeted by the sight of the mare with his cock all the way down her throat.

“Holy shit,” he grunted. “You… you fucking slut.”

Irn Bru responded with a gleeful hum, the vibration from which made Cubic growl with lust. Using his magic, he took hold of the back of her head and forced her back to the top of his throbbing mast — then all the way back to the bottom. The mare moaned in ecstasy, spurring Cubic on and making him work his magic faster than he thought possible.

“You like that?” he asked, to which Irn Bru moaned again. “Yeah, of course you like that, you damn dirty whore.” He continued the forced deepthroating, the only sound being those made by a mare seeking to get oxygen into her lungs. “Oh, fuck, yes! Get ready, bitch, because here comes the river!”

He forced her back to the base of his cock one final time — holding her in place as a torrent of cum surged forth, splattering her mouth and cascading down her throat in one continuous load. Irn Bru gulped repeatedly, greedily slurping down every last drop she could coax from the pulsing member.

Cubic groaned in satisfaction as he relinquished his hold on Irn Bru, allowing her to extract his length from her mouth. She licked her lips and smiled, batting her eyelashes at the stallion looming over her. “That…” she breathed. “That was fucking hot. How on Equestria did you know I would enjoy that so much?”

“I didn’t.” Cubic shrugged. “But it’s good to know that you do.”

Irn Bru winked at him. “Be that as it may, we’re still not done yet,” she replied, turning around and showing Cubic her dripping marehood. “I think you’ll find that it’s my turn now, hmm?”

Cubic dragged himself off his seat and over to where Irn Bru was standing, spreading her arsecheeks apart to give him a tantalising view of her waiting entrance. The stallion got closer — then blew a stream of air over it.

“Y-you bastard!” Irn Bru whimpered. “Stop messing around and just eat me out already! I can’t wait any longer, dammit!”

Cubic obliged, grabbing Irn Bru’s flanks with his forehooves and sticking his tongue greedily between her glistening lips. She shrieked in appreciation as he began probing her inner walls, relishing the taste of her excitement and making his cock rock-hard once more.

The mare whimpered softly as Cubic worked on her, neither pony wanting to say anything to ruin the moment they were sharing. As Irn Bru’s clit poked out, Cubic began sucking on it — forcing her to put a forehoof in her mouth to suppress the scream of pure unadulterated pleasure which threatened to escape.

“Keep going,” she said. “I-I’m so close, Cubic, don’t stop!”

Cubic’s horn sparked into life again, massaging Irn Bru’s insides in all the places his tongue wasn’t touching. She mumbled incoherently as the pressure in her loins beginning to build up, staring at the ceiling and praising every deity she could think of for the experience she was having.

“Yes, yes, YES!” she shouted. “Right there… more… more…” She screamed as she finally hit her peak, her juices spraying all over Cubic’s face. The stallion drank deeply from her fountain, a large grin on his face. “OH, CELESTIA!”

She fell forwards onto the floor, panting heavily, and sighed wistfully as Cubic finished cleaning himself up. “That was awesome,” he said. "Also, you taste like Irn Bru."

Irn Bru rolled her eyes at him as she slowly got back onto all four hooves and wiggled her rear seductively. Cubic clambered on top of the mare then, without even waiting for an invitation, thrust into her moist and warm entrance, hilting within seconds. Both ponies moaned in unison at this joining of their bodies.

“Fuck me,” Irn Bru said breathlessly.

Cubic responded by drawing his hips back until an inch of him was left inside the mares love tunnel, and then slamming back into her with vigour. He built up a rhythm, starting off slowly at first — but soon building into an unstoppable force of raw lust. Irn Bru moaned loudly, the feeling of the cock filling her up and the sound of his balls slapping against her pussy helping to heighten her pleasure.

“Harder!” she panted. “HARDER! Fill me up, Cubic, please! Make me your slutty little cum dumpster!”

“You whore,” Cubic replied. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

He sped up, his heartbeat thundering in his ears as he fucked the absolute hell out of the mare beneath him. Their bodily fluids combined to create an aromatic musk, which served to intensify the lust rampaging through their veins.

His cock flared, and both mare and stallion screamed in tandem as Cubic shot his load into Irn Bru’s aching pussy. He thrust wildly as he emptied his balls for the second - and last - time that evening, eventually slowing to a complete stop. He pulled out, his cock returning to its sheath, and lay down next to the mare.

“Mmmmm…” Irn Bru licked her lips. “I needed that, Cubic, thanks.”

“You’re not the only one,” he replied. “You horny little slut, you.”

Irn Bru giggled impishly and nuzzled him, at which the two simply laid in contented silence until they drifted off to sleep.