Harpflank and Sweets: Season 1

by RTStephens

Rating: everyone
Tags: Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Trixie, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Random
Length: 14681

The fun never stops with Harpflank and Sweets! New and remastered episodes come to you every week! Catch all the action on a manecast network near you!

From the Canterlot Vaults comes newly found and remastered episodes of everypony's favorite dynamic duo. Experience the action all over again as Luna's forces close in on the helpless citizens of Metropony with only Harpflank and Sweets standing in Her way! Watch as these classic stories come to you in all their Rainbow-Ray glory!

Filling in Season 1 episodes with permission from Arcainum.

Published 2012-04-21 15:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-07 14:30:56 UTC

Episode 23: Bucking Apple Season

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS

Original story and concept by Arcainum

Opening Titles

Metropony City! Mighty skyscrapers towering over the millions of ponies going about their lives on the streets below! Working, playing or just taking in the weather, Metropony bustles as only the big city can. But! All is not well in this equine metropolis! Below the streets lies a threat - a threat to the happiness and friendship of good ponies everywhere! And the name of that threat is Luna, the exiled Princess who has returned with vengeance in her eyes! With the aid of Her villainous helper Trixie and her army of terrible Lunatrons, She will stop at nothing to destroy the pony way of life! Standing against her, however, are two heroic mares, known only to the citizens of Metropony as...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: EPISODE 23 - Bucking Apple Season

Scene 1

The Great and Powerful Trixie once suggested to Her Lady that she could save time walking up and down Luna’s enormous stairway to Her throne by installing an escalator. Luna suggested that if Her loyal subject ever did, She’d curse Trixie’s cutie mark to zap the magician in the flank for every failure that she had.

Trixie suggested that the current system worked just fine.

“At least... this way... the Great and... Powerful Trixie... stays in shape,” Trixie gasped as she finally reached the top of the stairs and plopped before Luna’s throne. “I... am here, my Mistress... ”

“IT PLEASES US THAT YOU HAVE COME!” Princess Luna greeted Her servant, Her Royal Supervillain Voice ringing throughout the vast chamber in which Her throne was located. “WE HAVE MUCH TO DISCUSS.”

“I am at your service, my Lady,” Trixie replied dutifully, finally recovered from her power-stepping.

“YOUR CONTINUED FAILURES TO STRIKE DOWN THIS CITY HAVE NOT GONE UNNOTICED! THEREFORE, WE HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU NEED HELP IN CRUSHING OUR ENEMIES. OUR EMPIRE IS LARGE, AND OUR RESOURCES MORE SO, BUT IT WOULD BE FOALISH TO TURN AWAY HELP WHEN IT IS OFFERED.” Luna stopped talking, much to the delight of Trixie’s eardrums, and clapped Her hooves together twice.

From behind Her throne, a pony stepped into view. It quickly became obvious that he was not one of Luna’s henchponies. He was a unicorn stallion with an impressive build, spotless white coat and a impeccably groomed blond mane and tail. A compass rose adorned his flank. He looked down upon Trixie dispassionately.

Luna spread a wing and raised a hoof towards the newcomer. “MAY WE INTRODUCE OUR GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-NOT-SO-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-PATHETIC-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-”

“Skip a bit, Auntie,” the many times GREAT stallion interrupted in a cultured voice.

“VERY WELL,” Luna agreed. “WE WERE LOSING COUNT, ANYWAY. AHEM. GREAT-NEPHEW, PRINCE BLUEBLOOD!”

“Charmed,” Blueblood drawled.

Trixie stared up at the new unicorn for several moments. Her eyes traveled from his hooficured hooves, up his well-built frame, past his light blue eyes to stop at the impressive horn atop his head.

“ARE YOU WELL, TRIXIE?” Luna asked with some concern. “YOUR FACE IS RED.”

Trixie’s eyes widened in alarm and she hastily lowered her hat to cover her muzzle. “I’m fine! P-Please! Continue!”

Luna seemed to accept this as She spoke, “NEPHEW. THIS IS MY LOYAL SERVANT, THE INEPT AND WALLOWING TRIXIE.”

Trixie blushed harder at the mangling of her title and pulled her hat further down her face. She managed a quick bow before standing upright again.

“NOW THAT INTRODUCTIONS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, WE SHALL EXPLAIN OUR NEPHEW’S PRESENCE. HE HAS RIGHTFULLY DECIDED TO DEFECT TO THE EMPIRE, ADDING TO OUR GROWING NUMBERS. HE WILL BE YOUR PARTNER IN FIGHTING BACK AGAINST THE FOALISH ENEMIES THAT DARE OPPOSE US!”

Trixie blinked and pushed her hat away to direct her gaze at Luna. “A partner? But, my Lady, I’ve always worked alone. Well, besides Snips and Snails, but they don’t count! The Great and Powerful Trixie does her best work solo!”

“AND YET YOUR BEST HAS NOT PROVED ENOUGH,” Luna pointed out, sending a disapproving glare Trixie’s way. The magician hid under her hat again. “THIS IS AN ORDER. YOU WILL JOIN FORCES WITH BLUEBLOOD AND, TOGETHER, YOU WILL CRUSH THE INFIDELS IN OUR WAY!

“DO WE MAKE OURSELVES CLEAR?”

Trixie suppressed a sigh and bowed. “Deafeningly so, my Lady.”

“THEN BE OFF WITH YOU. WE LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING OF YOUR FUTURE SUCCESSES.”

Trixie bowed once more, turned and began heading toward the bulkhead. Behind her, Blueblood bowed as well with a flourish, and cantered after his new partner.

Scene 2

The trot through the steely grey corridors of Luna’s underground lair was an awkward one. Trixie and Blueblood walked side-by-side with neither looking at the other. Occasionally, Trixie sent a furtive glance the stallion’s way then quickly snapped back and faced forward. This continued for several minutes. Finally, Trixie couldn’t take the silence anymore and decided to break it.

“Trixie wonders, not that she cares all that much, what made you decide to join our glorious cause?”

Blueblood didn’t break his stride, nor did he seem to even acknowledge that Trixie had spoken. Rankled that anypony would dare ignore her, Trixie prepared to speak her mind. That is, until Blueblood swept one of his front hooves through his mane.

His carefully groomed hair drew back, displaying his large horn all the more, and then the mane fell back as his hoof finished its arc, settling back onto his forehead once again. Not a single hair had fallen out of place.

Trixie gulped and took deep breaths to calm her furiously beating heart.

“Oh, not much,” Blueblood said casually, not once missing his stride down the hall. “Political backstabbing, corporate espionage and attempted assassinations. The usual. I grew tired of it and wanted a fresh start. When I received a “Thinking of You” card from Auntie Luna, I decided to respond and ask if She would allow me the honor of joining Her court. Of course She agreed, so here I am.”

“Yes, here you are,” Trixie crooned. She blinked upon hearing the desire creeping into her voice and quickly shook her head. She couldn’t do much to cover up the blush on her muzzle though.

“So what is it that we’ll be doing?” Blueblood asked.

The topic of work snapped Trixie out of the daze she was falling into and she replied haughtily, “Trixie’s next mission is a simple task. I am going to attack the very bread and butter of this city. Or at least its apple and orchard. The Apple Corporation is the main supplier of anything apple related to the citizens of Metropony. Apple pie, apple fritters, apple cobblers, apple flavored chewing gum and so on. Should the supply dry up, it will be a major blow to the local economy, and the hapless ponies will cry and cower that their morning apple juice isn’t available. Metropony will be easy pickings for the Empire afterwards!”

Blueblood nodded his head after hearing the plan. “Removing such common fare is something I can agree with.”

“Really?” Trixie looked up at him, her eyes shining.

“Quite. My royal lips would never touch such generic food if it were the last thing in Equestria.”

Trixie smiled at how well things were going. “I think you and I are going to get along splendidly.”

Trixie thrust a hoof forward and proclaimed, “Come! I have a spare Lunatron ready for you to use. I just need to calibrate your magical signature to it and we shall be on our way to victory!”

“I hope that this doesn’t entail... manual labor,” Blueblood said guardedly.

Trixie quirked an eyebrow at the odd statement. “Ah, well, most Lunatrons work best if there are pilots driving them. Most of the work is through buttons, switches and levers, though. Just like a controller for one of those silly video games that are corrupting the youth of today. Only larger.” She stopped her explanation and tapped a hoof to her chin thoughtfully. “Hmm. Taking control of the younger generation through subliminal messages... Perhaps next week.” Trixie filed her germinating idea to the back of her mind and addressed Blueblood directly. “Plus, with you being a unicorn, it will be much easier to handle. Why, with how streamlined Trixie has made her creations, you can just sit there and let it do all the work!”

“Sounds like my type,” Blueblood replied with a dazzling smile.

Trixie made a mental note to ask the minions running the air conditioning units why they were slacking on the job, as she could have sworn that the temperature all around her had climbed without warning.

“Y-Yes,” Trixie stammered. She swallowed and gestured further down the hall. “Shall we go?”

Blueblood nodded primly and trotted past. Trixie watched him go by, mesmerized by the sight, before shaking herself and followed after him.

Scene 3

“So, whaddya wanna do?”

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

“I asked first. Whaddya wanna do?”

“First in, last out. What do you want to do?”

“Gah!” Lyra threw up her hooves in frustration and slouched in her seat a little more. She, along with her friend and fellow M.A.R.E. agent, Bon-Bon, were sitting beside a large water fountain that was located in the center of Fluttershy Gardens. Dozens of ponies walked past them, some taking advantage of the lovely weather to set up a picnic in the nearby grass while others strolled by with nary a care in the world. Both of them had been watching their fellow citizens with actual plans for over an hour now.

Bon-Bon sighed and offered, “We could check out that record store that just opened up a few blocks from here. Vinyl won’t shut up about it, but she’s been so busy at the lab that she hasn’t had the chance to go. Perhaps we could get something for her.”

“Nah.”

Frowning at Lyra’s quick dismissal, Bon-Bon tried again. “Well then, how about we get something to eat? It’s past noon and seeing all these ponies with baskets of food is getting me hungry.”

“Not very hungry, myself.”

Bon-Bon stamped a hoof to the ground and got up. “Well, I’m tired of just sitting around! Come on! Let’s just walk around and see if we can find something to do.”

“Boring.”

“Oh, you’re impossible sometimes!”

Lyra opened her mouth to whip out a sarcastic response, but the effort died halfway through so she settled for a loud groan.

“Oh! Look! Trixie!”

“Where?! WHERE?!” Lyra sprang to her hooves and looked around for their obnoxious enemy. All she saw after a few seconds of checking the area was Bon-Bon satisfied smirk.

“Gotcha!” Bon-Bon grabbed one of Lyra’s hooves with one of her own and dragged her away from the bench. “And now that you’re up, let’s get moving.”

“Cheater,” Lyra grumbled but followed. “Though with how dull things have been lately, I wouldn’t mind having Trixie pop up and cause some havoc. She’s due anytime, now.”

“I’m sure everypony in the city would mind,” Bon-Bon replied. “Their property and lives are threatened whenever Trixie appears. I’m sure that they wouldn’t lose any sleep if Luna’s Empire were to disappear off the face of the map.”

“Not that they’re even on the map. Even Trixie’s not stupid enough for-”

A beeping sound suddenly rang through the air. The duo looked at each other in confusion.

“Where’s that coming from?” Bon-Bon asked.

Lyra narrowed her eyes, then her horn lit up. Before Bon-Bon could question what she was doing, a hair clip levitated out of Bon-Bon’s mane. The source of the beeping was coming from the clip.

“You don’t think... ” Bon-Bon began to say.

“... I do think,” Lyra finished for her. Lyra fumbled with the clip until a small click was heard and the beeping stopped to be replaced by a static hiss.

“Lyra, Bon-Bon, you there?” came Commander Derpy’s unmistakable voice through the static.

“We’re here, commander,” Lyra answered as quietly and succinctly as she could.

“How in Celestia’s name did she get that in my mane?” Bon-Bon mumbled besides her.

Derpy continued speaking. “I’m glad that I got a hold of you two. We have a situation outside the city. It looks like Luna has sent her goons out there to lay waste to Sweet Apple Acres. If you don’t get out there and stop them, all the apples that the city needs will dry up! I’ll never see another apple flavored muffin again!” There came the sound of weeping, as though the world were coming to an end on the other side of the connection.

“Calm down, commander!” Bon-Bon tried to reassure the crying pegasus. “Don’t worry! We’ll stop them!”

“You will?” Derpy’s small voice asked hesitantly. “I mean, yes! Of course you will! I can always count on you to get the job done! So, get out there and protect my precious muffins!”

“Apples,” Lyra corrected.

“Whatever. Derpy out.” The static hissing from the clip vanished.

Lyra looked over to Bon-Bon and grinned. “Looks like you’ll be getting something to eat, after all.”

“I guess,” Bon-Bon responded casually, though a grin split her muzzle as well. “And you get to wail on Trixie. Funny how things seem to work out this way.”

With that, the two heroes slapped their hooves together and rushed off.

Scene 4

Apple trees spread out far and wide on the hills surrounding the city. Sweet Apple Acres had been around longer than any pony could remember. History books hinted that the family that had started the business were the first ponies to have ever settled in the land and that their talent in raising quality apples had led to the population spike that would eventually become Metropony. Ever since then, the Apple Corporation had only grown larger, becoming the major supplier of apples for the local economy. It was without a doubt a cornerstone of the city.

“Where do you want to start blasting first?” Trixie eagerly asked her companion through her Lunatron’s speakers.

Since a Lunatron wasn’t designed to shrug, Blueblood answered through his own giant machine, “Hmph. It would be unseemly for one such as myself to rush in in so uncouth a manner, so why don’t you start?” It was fortunate that his condescending tone was lost through his amplified voice.

It was also fortunate that Lunatron’s didn’t display the pilot’s facial features, otherwise the muzzle of Trixie’s large contraption would be sporting an embarrassed blush. “Oh! Ladies first, eh? You are a fine gentlepony!” With that, Trixie moved her Lunatron forward and began opening its weapon ports. “Peons! Look and be amazed as the Great and Powerful Trixie burns your insignificant fields of apples to the ground!” A nozzle appeared from one of the ports and began spewing fire over everything, setting trees, barns and farm equipment ablaze.

Below, workers and farmers ran for their lives as Luna’s right-hoof mare rained scorching death upon them. A trio of ponies, one cream, one magenta and one pink, soon joined them as Trixie continued her march through the fields.

“Why? Why?! WHY did this have to happen here?!” Rose screamed as she galloped alongside her friends.

Daisy did not waste her breath to answer, especially carrying Lily’s fainted body over her back.

Trixie laughed as she continued with her carnage, leaving nothing intact in her path. Behind her, Blueblood carefully guided his Lunatron through the destruction, taking pains not to step on anything that would sully his shiny armor.

Taking a moment to check on her partner, Trixie switched her viewscreen to look behind her. She blinked.

“Aren’t you going to shoot something? Do you remember how the controls work?”

“How could you even suggest such a thing?” came Blueblood’s offended response, somehow answering both questions at once. “The guns leave scorch marks and burnt powder all over the place. Getting that stuff all over me will take ages to wash out.”

“Uh, these are war machines. They’re suppose to get dirty.”

There came a long, drawn out sigh, as though Blueblood were being asked to pass the salt over a long dinner table, and nudged a tree near one of his metal hooves over.

“... stupendous work,” Trixie commented dryly. “Um, how about we split up? There’s a lot of ground to cover. I’ll take this half-” Trixie’s Lunatron swept its hoof to indicate a field on her left, “-while you take that half.” The Lunatron pointed right, where a series of barns and silos were located. “Don’t worry about dirt. We just hose these down back at the base.”

Blueblood scoffed at such a thing happening to his Lunatron. Still, he lumbered in the direction that Trixie had indicated. Inside her cockpit, Trixie bit her lip as she watched Blueblood head away, before turning towards her own assignment and got to work.

Scene 5

When Lyra and Bon-Bon finally reached the farm, all they could see were rows upon rows of apple trees burning and sending huge plumes of smoke into the sky.

“This... this is... awful,” Bon-Bon, now dressed in her outfit that identified her as Sweets, struggled to say.

Lyra, garbed as Harpflank, stared at the scene with an uncharacteristic hardness to her face. “Trixie’s gone too far,” she intoned darkly. “Causing mass destruction and chaos in the city is one thing, but this... This is evil beyond words.”

”Pop music, evil?”

Lyra shuddered. “Maybe.”

“Then let’s not stand around! We have to stop her!”

Lyra nodded sharply and took off with Bon-Bon right beside her. It was easy to find the culprit. All they had to do was follow the trail of flaming apple trees and within minutes, Trixie’s Lunatron came into view. The giant ponified machine shot out stream after stream of flame from a nozzle poking out from the Lunatron’s chest, laying waste to anything the fire touched.

“Launch me!” Lyra cried out.

Bon-Bon didn’t have to ask what her partner meant as she sped forward, turned around and stood up on her hind legs. Lyra hopped towards her and landed on Bon-Bon’s outstretched forelegs. With a mighty heave, Bon-Bon flung Lyra over her back and high into the air. Lyra streaked forward and extended out a single leg. Her aim was true and she crashed against the nozzle releasing all the hateful fire. The flamethrower crumbled like tinfoil.

“Ah! What happened?!” came Trixie’s confused voice. Her Lunatron’s head swiveled around and found Bon-Bon and Lyra posing dramatically with flames against their backs.

“You’re going down hard, Trixie!” Lyra shouted.

“Your crimes today will not go unpunished!” Bon-Bon added.

“Harpflank! Sweets! How dare you!”

“How dare you!” Bon-Bon shouted back. “You’re not just threatening the lives of ponies, you’re torching the very livelihood of the city!”

“We won’t let you get away with this!” Lyra added.

Trixie’s maniacal laughter was her response to that. “You are welcome to try... and fail!” The Lunatron lurched forward, moving deceptively quick for such a large machine.

Lyra and Bon-Bon separated, a metal hoof stomping down where they had stood a second before. The two darted towards the underside of the Lunatron, intending to stay out of Trixie’s line-of-sight and begin hacking away at anything they could get their hooves on. Taking out Lunatrons was their specialty and today they wanted nothing more than to tear this one to pieces. Using their powerful equine legs, they leaped up to strike.

A hatch opened above, dropping metal balls down on them. Lyra lashed out at one to knock it away-

-only to receive an explosion to the face. This set off a chain reaction among the other balls, filling the air with deadly fire and flying shrapnel. Lyra and Bon-Bon yelled in pain and surprise, and dropped back to the ground. Both sported burns and cuts, but they remained upright and ready to charge back in.

The Lunatron turned to face them again. “Give up, foals!” Trixie gloated. “My victory is at hoof!”

“Not on your life!” Bon-Bon yelled back. “We’re just getting started!”

The Lunatron’s weapons popped out of their ports and began firing. Once again, the superheroes sprang apart. This time, they hopped and ducked past lasers and rockets, drawing closer to the metal monstrosity. Once they reached the legs, they ran up the sides as though magnets were attached to their hooves and began pummeling the gun turrets faster than they could be targeted. The duo jumped from one section of the Lunatron to the next, smashing anything in their way.

“Blast you, Harpflank and Sweets!” Trixie cursed at them. From underneath the Lunatron’s hooves, exhaust ports opened up. Rockets hidden in the legs fired up and the Lunatron lurched into the air. The sudden force of take-off dislodged Lyra and Bon-Bon from their grips and they fell off. Landing gracefully, they watched as the retreating Lunatron streaked through the sky.

“She’s getting away again!” Lyra said. “After her!”

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” Bon-Bon replied and galloped after their foe.

Scene 6

Trixie’s Lunatron finally landed several miles away. As the titanic machine touched down, its shock absorbers and gyroscopes strained and calculated to keep the Lunatron from falling over. Once Trixie was certain that her device was still functional, she pushed her battered creation forward as hard as she dared. She had to find Blueblood. Together, they would be able to end Harpflank and Sweets’ infuriating existence once and for all.

Her machine traversed the rolling terrain, following the ping on her radar that signified Blueblood’s location. He hadn’t gotten far since she had separated with him and she worried that he had encountered problems of his own. The fact that she spotted plenty of intact buildings, tractors and apple trees on her viewscreen didn’t inspire her with confidence.

Finally, the second Lunatron came into view. It was standing in the middle of a plaza surrounded by dozens of barns, silos and a few wooden houses, not moving. With a great heave, Trixie made her Lunatron leap and come crashing down on one of the barns.

“Blueblood!” Trixie called out. “What’s wrong?! Why are all these building still standing?”

The opposite Lunatron raised a hoof to forestall any further questions. “First of all, you can’t call me by my name while we’re out like this. I realized while I was ordering these plebeians to cut down their trees and tear down their barns that I needed an alias to keep from being identified. So, call me... Wild Stallion.”

Trixie blinked in confoundment the second time today. “Wild Stallion? Seriously?”

“What? You have a problem with that? As if I could ever take you seriously with a name like the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is a perfect name! It describes all that I am and all that I will be!”

“Hmph. Must be nice to live in a fantasy world.”

“Enough!” Trixie screeched. She pointed a hoof at the lack of destruction and chaos surrounding her. “What about this?! You were supposed to destroy these buildings!”

Trixie had never designed a Lunatron to look condescending, but Blue-Wild Stallion somehow managed to make it do it. “Please. These are royal hooves you are asking to sully. Besides, I’ve always managed to get others to do my work for me and I saw no reason to stop now.” He indicated a group of farmers that had been reluctantly taking apart a barn before Trixie had come. They were now staring up at the two Lunatrons worriedly as they bickered. “Problem is, they are doing it so slowly, that I may have to ask Auntie Luna to bring in some of her subjects to speed things up.”

Trixie pivoted her Lunatron and blew up the half-deconstructed barn with a single rocket. The ponies screamed in terror and ran off. Trixie turned back to Wild Stallion. “You don’t ask them, you terrorize them!”

“Now look what you did,” Wild Stallion pouted. “It took ages to convince them to do that. I even had to bribe them with some of the advance that Auntie gave me. I’ll have to ask Her to increase my allowance if I’m ever going to get anything done.”

“Stop right there!” a voice from atop a silo called out.

“We have you now, Trixie!” another voice spoke besides the first.

Trixie groaned in frustration, and turned towards the new arrivals. “Great! Now Harpflank and Sweets are here! Take aim, and fire!”

Wild Stallion snorted and began trotting away. “You fire. I’m going to see if I can find anything worthwhile to eat around here.”

“You can’t just walk away!” Trixie yelled after him. “We’re in this together!”

“I’ve put in enough effort today. I leave this menial work to you.”

Trixie gave a wordless scream, forcing anypony within a five-mile radius to cover their ears. “That is it! I’ve had enough of you and your attitude! And to think I found you cute, too! I’m going to launch a great and powerful rocket right down your throat!”

“I’ll never marry you.”

“THAT WASN’T A PROPOSAL, YOU IDIOT!”

Atop the silo, Lyra turned to Bon-Bon. “Are we even relevant anymore?”

“Shush,” came Bon-Bon’s muffled response. “This is getting good.”

“Oooooh, candy apples. Gimme.”

Suddenly, Trixie’s Lunatron whirled and pointed at them. “You two! Do what you always do to me every week-” Trixie thrust a hoof in Wild Stallion’s direction, “-and destroy him!” Without waiting for an answer, Trixie opened every remaining weapon port on her Lunatron and fired.

Wild Stallion yelped and backed away from the reckless barrage. “Stop! Stay away!”

“Afraid to get dirty?!” Trixie retorted gleefully. She laughed hysterically and continued her attack.

“Now what?!” Lyra asked above the carnage.

“We stop both of them!” Bon-Bon said, tossing away her finished apple. “Those shots are still hitting the buildings!” With that, Bon-Bon charged and leaped at Trixie’s Lunatron. Lyra headed towards Wild Stallion’s.

Lyra hopped from one barn to the next, gaining momentum. When she judged herself close enough, she launched herself at the besieged Lunatron. Weapons fire rained down around her but fortunately, Bon-Bon was taking care of that on her end, one gun at a time. Lyra punched and bucked at the head of the mechanised pony, trying to bring it down.

“Give it up, you big lug!” Lyra called out as one of her blows nearly severed the Lunatron’s neck. “It’s over!”

“My name’s Wild Stallion!” the pilot sobbed.

“Wild Stallion? Seriously?”

“HARPFLANK! LOOK OUT!”

Bon-Bon’s frantic cry made Lyra look up. She saw nothing but a huge shadowed form filling the sky and getting bigger as it descending towards her. Desperate, Lyra lurched to the side and kicked off the machine’s metal hide. She tumbled to the ground, scrambled to her hooves and ran for all that she was worth.

An explosion came from behind Lyra, picking her up and flinging her through the air. She landed roughly and skidded to a halt, making a furrow several feet in length. Lyra remained still for a while, groaning at all the punishment she had taken. It wasn’t until Bon-Bon galloped up to her that she managed to lift her head.

“What happened... ?” Lyra asked through her exhaustion.

Bon-Bon explained while helping Lyra to her hooves. “Trixie ran out of weapons to use, so she did that rocket thing from before and... body slammed the other guy. It... was kinda cool actually.”

“So... it’s over? We won?”

“I guess so-”

“HA! Take that, you pompous windbag! How’d you like that?!”

Lyra and Bon-Bon looked up and stared as they saw Trixie, silhouetted against the burning wreckage of her Lunatrons, standing on her hind legs and giggling madly. The heroes glanced at each other briefly and trotted up to her.

“Uh, Trixie?” Bon-Bon began. “Stay still so we can capture you and-”

Trixie spun around. Lyra and Bon-Bon took an involuntary step back from the crazed look the magician gave them.

“Thank you for your assistance!” Trixie said with a twitch in her eye. “Today is a great day!”

Lyra gulped and cautiously stepped forward. “Uh, Trixie. You lost. Again.”

“Ha! Shows what your puny minds know! The Great and Powerful Trixie has removed that which confounds all ponies!”

When Trixie didn’t continue, Bon-Bon prodded, “And that is?”

“Stallions!” Trixie exclaimed, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Worthless, the lot of them!”

“Okay... ” Lyra drawled. “Whatever you say... ”

Trixie nodded and began trotting away. “See you morons next week!”

“Wait! Come back-” Bon-Bon was interrupted from grabbing Trixie by Lyra’s outstretched hoof.

“I think it’s best we let her go, for now,” Lyra explained. “Maybe she won’t be so... freaky... next time.”

“You sure?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Positive. You remember that time when Nurse Redheart broke up with that guy a few weeks back?” Bon-Bon nodded and shuddered. “Trust me on this. It’s... better to wait for her to cool down.”

Scene 7

“Mares!”

Princess Celestia looked up from her book and watched as her nephew stormed into the lounge and towards his quarters.

“Things go well with my sister?” Celestia asked innocently.

Blueblood, his hair disheveled and soot covering his body, stomped past her and snorted. “I suppose it’s true what they say. Political espionage has nothing on a mare scorned.” He stepped through his door and slammed it shut.

Left alone once again, Celestia shrugged and went back to her reading.

[Credits roll.]

Epilogue

“SO, YOU’VE COME BACK FROM ANOTHER FAILURE, WE SEE. AND WITHOUT OUR NEPHEW.”

At the mention of Blueblood, Trixie glared up at Her with the power of a thousand supernova. Luna, Mistress of the Night, was taken aback.

“WE... TAKE IT YOU DID NOT GET ALONG WITH HIM.”

“No,” Trixie spit out bitterly. “I didn’t.”

Luna studied Her servant carefully. After a few moments, She spoke again. “WE SEE. WE UNDERSTAND YOUR PLIGHT. THERE IS NOT MUCH IN THIS WORLD THAT CAN STAND UP TO A WOUNDED HEART. ALTHOUGH, THERE IS A SAYING THAT WHICH I WOULD SHARE WITH YOU.”

“What’s that, My Lady?

“TRULY, IT IS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAN TO HAVE NEVER LOVED AT ALL.”

Trixie bowed her head and thought over the words of wisdom Luna had given her. Finally, she gave a disgusted snort, spun around and stomped out of the room.

“SHE TOOK THAT BETTER THAN WE THOUGHT SHE WOULD.”

Episode 28: What's All the Buzz About?

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS

Original story and concept by Arcainum

Opening Titles

Metropony City! Mighty skyscrapers towering over the millions of ponies going about their lives on the streets below! Working, playing or just taking in the weather, Metropony bustles as only the big city can. But! All is not well in this equine metropolis! Below the streets lies a threat - a threat to the happiness and friendship of good ponies everywhere! And the name of that threat is Luna, the exiled Princess who has returned with vengeance in her eyes! With the aid of Her villainous helper Trixie and her army of terrible Lunatrons, She will stop at nothing to destroy the pony way of life! Standing against her, however, are two heroic mares, known only to the citizens of Metropony as...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: EPISODE 28 - What’s All the Buzz About?

Scene 1

The sound of a pony galloping at full speed echoed throughout the steel tunnel. Minions and mechanical service bots alike flung themselves out of the way to make room for the crazy equine that didn’t even acknowledge their presence. Grumbling at how such a pony could stay within their mistress’ good graces after so many failures, the grunts of Luna’s Empire went about their thankless work. A few seconds later, some of them witnessed the sight of two small unicorns rushing after the retreating figure.

The Great and Powerful Trixie didn’t care what the others thought of her. The only opinion that mattered was her Lady’s. And after she was done showing Luna her latest creation, never again would she be considered “occasionally useful”.

With a quick application of magic, Trixie lifted off her hat, pulled out a rectangular remote control and pushed a large red button. Up ahead, the gargantuan bulkhead that lead into Luna’s inner sanctum began to rumble open. By the time she reached the doors, they were wide open for her to run past. After countless times of waiting for the stupid things to open for her and ruin her grand entrance, Trixie decided to install a bypass. Sure it was a potential security risk, but that was nothing compared to the good news she had for her princess.

“My Lady!” Trixie announced within the enormous room that comprised of Luna’s throne room. She hopped to her hind legs and posed in dramatic fashion. “Without a doubt, Trixie has done it again!”

Upon Her throne, Luna quirked an elegant eyebrow at the display. “MY, MY, YOU APPEAR MOST PLEASED. DO TELL. WHAT HAVE YOU BROUGHT TODAY THAT WE CAN USE TO GRIND THIS CITY UNDER OUR HOOVES?”

“Watch and be amazed!” Trixie answered. At that moment, Snips and Snails staggered into the chamber and plopped down beside her. The two young unicorn assistants to the Great and Powerful Trixie gasped for breath after galloping the hardest they ever had to keep up with their boss.

“You two,” Trixie said down to them. “Get it ready!”

“Of... course... Great... and... Powerful... Trixie...” Snips replied in between breaths. Slowly, he and Snails got to their hooves and levitated their saddlebags off their backs. Snips brought out a large bar of iron while Snails produced what looked like a small metallic ball. Using their magic, they hovered the items high above their heads so that anypony watching could see.

“Behold, my greatest invention!” Trixie proclaimed. “This day marks the end of our enemies and the beginning of our glorious reign!” Using her own magic, she took the metal ball in her grasp and shot a small purple bolt into it from her horn.

For a moment, nothing happened. Just as Luna began to wonder if whatever Trixie wanted to show Her was broken, the metal ball began to tremble. The trembling became a violent vibration and it emitted a loud whine that grew higher in pitch with every second. Snips and Snails gulped and began backing away, certain that an explosion was imminent. The whine of the ball continued to grow, threatening to outdo even Luna’s Royal Supervillain Voice in shear ear-piercing shrillness.

“I can’t take it!” Snails wailed and covered his ears in a vain attempt to keep out the noise.

“Make it stop!” Snips joined in.

PING!

The whine suddenly disappeared. Snips and Snails cautiously lowered their hooves and glanced up. The metallic ball still hovered above them, but it no longer needed Trixie’s magic to stay afloat. Four transparent wings had sprouted from the top of the ball along with four little legs that dangled on its bottom. Two wide red eyes stared forward in its center with a little mouth raised in a smile below them.

“IT’S A BUG,” Luna stated.

Trixie frowned at her Lady’s unenthusiastic description of her invention. She quickly banished her disappointment and said, “This, my Mistress, is not just a bug. It’s a machine based off a parasprite. I call it a parabyte! It may appear cute and cuddly but believe me, this little beauty has some bite in it.” Trixie levitated the iron bar that Snips had provided and placed it in front of the parabyte. “Observe.”

The small mechanical creature flew over to the offered bar and gave it a little sniff. All at once it lunged forward and in a frenzy of motion, began to devour the thick offering. In seconds, the bar was gone.

Luna raised Her other eyebrow. “IMPRESSIVE. HOWEVER, WE FAIL TO SEE HOW ONE LITTLE BUG WILL BE ENOUGH TO-”

Without warning, the parabyte shook and coughed up a hunk of metal. Before the lump could touch the floor, it gave a metallic whir and wings snapped out of it. In no time, the transformation was complete and another parabyte hovered next to the first one.

“OH.”

Trixie nodded in satisfaction towards the two insect-like devices and turned towards her princess. “You understand then, my Lady. I will unleash these two into the city and they will begin to devour it. The more these parabytes eat, the more they multiply. The city will be overrun with them in no time and nothing will remain.”

Luna smiled and nodded Her head. “A CLEVER TACTIC, TRIXIE. WE GIVE YOU OUR FULL APPROVAL. NOW GO, AND DO OUR BIDDING!”

Trixie bowed deeply and began heading away. “Of course, my Mistress! You will not be disappointed.” She turned sharply and marched out the door. Snips and Snails grabbed the two parabytes and quickly followed after her.

Scene 2

“HIYA!”

Lyra slid out of the way from the business end of Bon-Bon’s nano-enhanced blade, hopped over the follow-up sweep kick then raised a repulsion field to block the doublehoofed hammer blow from above. Cracks appeared in the floor below Lyra from the tremendous force applied from Bon-Bon’s attack, but the unicorn held fast. Lyra pushed the gravity generated shield out, forcing her opponent back and off balance. With a casual flick of her horn, Lyra lashed out with a lasso of energy, snagging one of Bon-Bon’s hind legs. The blue suited warrior grunted in effort as she pulled and flung the earth pony across the room. Bon-Bon flipped in the air twice before righting herself and used her newly gained momentum to bounce off the wall, push off the ceiling and launch herself back into the fray with a flying kick. Lyra yelped in surprise as the fast recovery proved too much for her to handle and received the kick to her helmeted head.

Vinyl Scratch winced in sympathy as the training room trembled from the impact. However, she never took her eyes off the action. “This is, like, the most awesome sparring session I’ve ever seen! Like, for real. And it’s all because of me, babe!”

“And me,” Octavia, standing to the side, was quick to remind her. “And don’t call me babe.”

The two ExTech scientists fell silent again as their eyes, and the monitoring systems surrounding them, tracked the two superheroes as they put their new nanotech suits through their paces. Lyra and Bon-Bon nearly blurred as they traded blow after blow in the confines of the sturdiest room that M.A.R.E. could provide them. Which, if things continued to escalate, wouldn’t be enough.

“I hope Redheart doesn’t mind a little extra overtime,” Vinyl commented as she checked over the latest readouts. “Those two are going to be a puddle of owies after this.”

“I doubt that,” Octavia rebuffed. “The nanotech suits are designed to help heal them as fast as they are hurt. If anything, they will feel a lingering soreness and nothing else.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Vinyl and Octavia looked up to see Commander Derpy stroll into the room, the very picture of authority.

And then watched her face plant into the floor when her tail got stuck in the closing door.

“Our walls seem so... plain,” came Derpy’s muffled voice through the floor.

Octavia calmly tapped some keys on the panel in front of her and the door slid open, allowing Derpy’s tail to come unstuck and her rump to impact the floor. With a little shake of her body, Derpy pushed herself back to her hooves and walked over to the two as though nothing had happened.

“So how are they doing?”

“Great, if I do say so myself!” Vinyl replied in excitement.

“Everything is checking out,” Octavia answered more calmly.

“Excellent,” Derpy acknowledged and watched the action through the explosion proof glass connected to the training room. “It’s good that they are getting more used to their suits. Who knows when Luna’s forces will attack again and-”

The familiar klaxon of an incoming Lunatron suddenly sounded, drowning out Derpy’s voice.

“Speak of the devil,” Derpy said above the alarm.

Inside the abused training room, Lyra looked up from administering a headlock on Bon-Bon and grinned feraly.

“All right!”

Scene 3

“You seem awfully eager,” Bon-Bon commented as Lyra and herself bounded from building to building, heading towards the location marked on the heads up display of their helmets. “More so than usual.”

“You have no idea,” Lyra replied back with a grin. “Now that we’ve got all the kinks worked out of these suits, we’ll beat Trixie in record time!”

Bon-Bon’s eyes widened in alarm as a readout on her HUD caught her attention. “We might have to! Look!”

Up ahead, a column of dust rose towards the sky; a clear signal that a building had collapsed. Nothing too unusual when Trixie began one of her attacks, but it never got easier to see a part of the city they had sworn to protect become a casualty. Their pace quickened, spurred to reduce whatever destruction they could. Finally, they came upon the scene...

And gaped.

There was nothing. No rubble, no smoking crater, nothing but a hole in the pavement that indicated that a building had ever stood here. The two heroes looked at each other with troubled expressions.

“What has Trixie created now?” Bon-Bon wondered aloud.

“Let’s stop standing around and find out,” Lyra said and jumped down to ground level, Bon-Bon following right behind her. As they gazed over the hole, Lyra noted irregular indents around the edges of the hole. “Hey, BB. Check this out. Do these smaller holes look like bite marks to you?”

Bon-Bon inspected the indents that Lyra pointed out closely. “You’re right. But what does that mean? Surely, the building couldn’t have been eaten. Could it?”

“It can if the Great and Powerful Trixie is involved!”

Lyra and Bon-Bon whirled around at the familiar voice. As expected, Trixie stood before them, hat and cape fluttering in the slight breeze. Behind her were Snips and Snails, who looked uncomfortable with being out in the open and not in a one-hundred ton Lunatron.

“Harpflank. Sweets.” Trixie inclined her head to each in mock greeting. “So nice of you to come out and play. I have some little friends that would like to meet you.” The moment the words were out of her mouth, hundreds of parabytes flew into sight and surrounded the duo.

Lyra eyed the little metallic creatures dubiously. “Bugs? Your plan this week are bugs?”

Trixie threw back her head and laughed long and hard. She finished with a vicious grin and said, “I am going to enjoy you eating those words. In fact, why don’t I let my pets do the eating for you.” With a contemptuous pointing of her hoof, the parabytes zoomed in on the suited pair.

“As if!” Lyra cried out and began swatting away parabytes all around her. The little machines easily crumbled against the power that Lyra and Bon-Bon brought forth with their mighty hooves. However, what the parabytes lacked in power, they made up in sheer numbers.

“Yeow!” Bon-Bon yelped as one of the parabytes made it through her guard and bit down on her rear. A quick flick of her tail removed the offending bot, only to have three more take its place. Before she knew it, her whole body was covered with gnawing metal jaws. “Shields activate!” Dozens of parabytes were blown away as a repulsion shield bloomed around her. “Ha! Try to get through now!”

In response, parabytes swarmed around the shield and began sucking the power generated by it through their mouths as though sucking through a straw. The mass amounts of energy allowed the parabytes to reproduce at an even faster rate than before.

“Uh oh,” Bon-Bon whimpered as the power readings on her HUD showed dangerous levels of depletion. With no choice, she lowered her shield and entered combat once more.

Lyra wasn’t having any better luck on her end either. She brought out a flash spark grenade from her utility saddlebag and threw it towards an oncoming mass of parabytes. The grenade went off without a hitch and set off a chain lightning effect that reduced the metal bugs to nothing more than sparking hunks of junk. Lyra’s victory was short lived as more parabytes swooped down and gobbled up their fallen brethren and spit out a fully functional replacement.

“Now that’s just wrong!” the blue suited heroine complained.

“Don’t be hatin’ because you’re losing!” Trixie taunted from a safe distance away.

Lyra’s vision became red as she glared at the pompous villain through her visor. “That’s it. No more Miss Nice Pony. Sweets! Let’s bring it out!”

Bon-Bon finished bucking away a group of parabytes trying to attack her blind spot and rushed up to her partner. “You don’t mean...?”

“I do. Cello on.”

The two ponies jerked as their battle suits engaged and began to pulse with power. They braced themselves against the slight discomfort that came with the high energy needed to create the largest and most awesome weapon yet devised by pony kind. Soon, their suits expanded outwards as their nanotechnology merged together and began to form the signature shape of the megacello.

Across from them, Trixie held up a hoof to signal to her parabytes to withhold the attack. She smiled evilly as she watched the instrument of her defeat last week grow larger and larger, until the entire street they were standing on was eclipsed in shadow. This was the moment she had been waiting for.

Scene 5

Looking through a coffee shop window down the street, Rose turned towards her companions and said calmly, “You know when that freaky cello thing from last week nearly shattered our eardrums?”

Daisy nodded, a worried look beginning to spread over her muzzle.

Lily groaned and buried her own muzzle in her hooves. “Don’t tell me. I just got out of the doctor’s about that yesterday.”

“Yeah, you might want to look into getting another appointment.”

Scene 6

Finally, it was ready.

“You. Are So. Getting. HIT!”

Lyra lifted the towering cello above her with her magic. The colossal instrument of destruction and easy listening reached its peak of ascension, and with a mighty heave, Lyra brought it down with the force of a meteor.

“This is it, Great and Powerful Dipsy!”

“That’s Trixie, you simpleton!” Trixie angrily yelled back. Really, was it so hard to get a villain’s name right? Trixie took a deep breath to calm herself, along with shaking a pair of cowering colts off her hind legs, and lit up her horn. “Go my children, and feast!”

The parabytes immediately followed her command and flew towards the descending megacello. In moments, the tiny machines covered the weaponized instrument and began to chomp away at it bit by bit. As more of the nanomachines that comprised the megacello were eaten, more parabytes were created to join in on the tasty massacre. The megacello continued to fall and it was a race against time to see if it would have enough mass left to flatten Trixie and her posse.

The megacello struck.

Lyra blinked as the thin stick her magic levitated in front of her vibrated from striking the pavement.

A deep silence permeated throughout the area. Nothing moved or made a sound. At last, one creature dared to break the all encompassing quiet.

“They ate my megacello.”

Bon-Bon gave her partner a look of worry. “Um, Harpflank? You okay?”

“They ate my megacello.”

“Yeah, I noticed. Um, we need to rethink our strategy here and quickly.”

“They ate my megacello!”

“And that is only the beginning!” Trixie crowed as she sensed victory near at hoof. “First your megalame-o and then Metropony!” The parabytes around her gave a chorus of happy chirps and beeps and began munching on everything around them.

Scene 7

Vinyl’s mouth hung open in shock and disbelief from everything she saw through Lyra and Bon-Bon’s visors. “This can’t be happening.”

She felt a tap on her shoulder and, in a daze, turned towards the one that got her attention.

“We need to think and fast,” Octavia stated the obvious. “Those bugs are going to cover the whole city in minutes.”

“Yeah, but, what can we do?” Vinyl asked, still not believing what she was seeing. “Those things are replicating faster than anything I’ve ever seen in my life. How-”

A warning siren sounded, startling the ponies within the laboratory.

“We’ve been breached!” a scientist wailed.

“They’re eating their way through all of our defenses!” another one reported.

“The horror! The horror!” a third cried in a corner.

“Everypony!” Octavia yelled to her subordinates. “This is no time to panic. Now, get back to your stations and-”

The ceiling above her collapsed and tons of masonry and debris fell towards her. Octavia stared in shock at the descending ceiling that threatened to crush her. An impact to her side flung her across the room. Groaning in pain, Octavia tried to pick herself up, but a weight on her back prevented her from doing so. She looked up and spotted Vinyl’s muzzle grinning down at her.

“Got ya, toots.”

“Don’t call me ba... toots...”

“Ha! Tripped you up! Score one for me!”

Octavia shoved Vinyl off of her and got to her hooves. “This is no time for that! Look!” She pointed at the carnage around them. Parabytes were chomping down on all their equipment, no matter how dense or dangerous it was. “If we don’t stop them, the city will be gone.”

“Well, what do we do?!” Vinyl exclaimed. “Nothing seems to stop them!”

Just then, one parabyte flew up to a door as thick as a vault and bit off a chunk of it. In a completely uncharacteristic move, Octavia screeched and punched the flying pest away. “Don’t you dare go in there!”

Unfortunately, parabytes weren’t known for stopping when something edible was readily available. Dozens of parabytes converged on the door, reducing it down to scraps within seconds, despite Octavia's best efforts to keep them away. The bugs flew past the door and into the room beyond.

“No! Stop!”

Vinyl blinked in befuddlement as Octavia raced after the parabytes in an obvious panic. Seconds later, the earth pony reappeared pulling an ornate cello out of the room with several parabytes trying to wrench it out of her grasp. “There’s no way... I’m letting you... eat this!” Octavia grunted as she strained with all her might. The tug of war ended when a parabyte lost its hold, giving Octavia the leverage necessary to pull the instrument away and into her protective hooves. “Stay back!” she warned the gathering locus like creatures. By sheer chance, one of her hooves slipped and strung a cord on the cello.

The parabytes that had been near her suddenly stiffened. With their wings no longer working to keep them afloat, they plummeted to the floor and remained still.

“Wha...?” Octavia breathed in confusion. Her puzzlement didn’t last as another swarm of parabytes swooped down from the opening in the ceiling.

“Octavia!” Vinyl shouted at her fellow scientist. “Hit that note again!”

“What? You mean like this?” Octavia plucked the cord again without even knowing why. Immediately, the new group of parabytes shuddered and fell to the floor.

Vinyl rushed up to Octavia with the biggest grin yet on her muzzle. “That’s it! That frequency that your cello made must have interfered with their signal. Babe, you’re a genious!”

“Don’t call me babe.”

“We’ve got to contact Lyra and Bon-Bon! We can still win this!”

Scene 8

“THEY ATE MY MEGACELLO!”

Bon-Bon would have slapped her partner if she weren’t so busy fighting off wave after wave of parabytes. The little cretins fell by the hundreds to her weaponry and martial arts expertise but more parabytes kept coming. Not even the brand new battle suit that she wore could keep up with the unrelenting tide of metal bugs that just would not relent.

“Harpflank!” Bon-Bon called out as she torched a cloud of parabytes with an incendiary grenade. “I could really use your help here!”

“Give up!” Trixie taunted to her from only a few hooflengths away. “Nothing can stop my pretties from overwhelming you!”

Bon-Bon wanted nothing more than to march over and sock the arrogant magician right in the kisser. In fact, that’s what she had been trying to do ever since the megacello attack had failed. Clearly, Trixie commanded the parabytes so reaching her would potentially stop the swarm. Unfortunately, that simple tactic proved difficult to put into practice as the parabytes just would not ease up. If a miracle didn’t happen soon, they were all finished.

“Bon-Bon! Lyra! Do you read me?!”

“Yes, but I’m a little busy at the moment!” Bon-Bon replied to Vinyl’s voice through her headset as she stomped down on a parabyte, reducing it to a metallic pancake.

“Bon-Bon, we have a way to beat the bugs! But you have to reform the megacello!”

“But that didn’t work!”

“They ate my mega-!”

“Yeah, what Lyra’s been saying!”

“We know, but this time it will be different!” Vinyl’s confident voice rang out. “Trust me!”

“Alright, already!” Bon-Bon acknowledged and dashed over to where Lyra was using the remains of the megacello’s handle to angrily swat at any parabyte in her field of vision. “Lyra, did you hear that?”

“They. Ate. My. Megacello!” Lyra spit out, each word punctuated by a swing of the handle.

Bon-Bon decked her fellow hero in the cheek. “Snap out of it! We’ve got to focus!” She saw Lyra stagger and sway for a second before shaking her head and giving an affirmative nod. “Now, cello on!” Their suits hummed with power as the gigantic cello began to take form once again.

Trixie watched with amusement as her adversaries tried to bring up the failed attack. “You only provide more food for my pets!” she called to them. “Go on! Struggle! It pleases Trixie to see you keep trying and losing!” The cloaked magician pointed at the megacello with a hoof and a cloud of parabytes flew towards it.

“Vinyl!” Bon-Bon desperately yelled. “Now would be a good time to tell us your plan!”

“Perform a G-major!”

“You want us to what?!”

“Just do it!”

“I’ve got it!” Lyra responded back. Being the more musically inclined of the pair, Lyra grasped the mile-long cord in question with her magic and gave it a pluck.

The deafening tone sounded out throughout the city, shattering glass windows as far as Sweet Apple Acres. It brought ponies to their knees in ear splitting pain. The day would live on as the day the music died.

More importantly, every parabyte in Metropony locked up and crashed to the ground.

Trixie moaned pitifully as the ringing in her ears receded. When she stood back up and looked around, she noticed a distinct lack of mutilation and devastation from her parabytes. “What? What? WHAT?!” She pranced around in a panic, picking up parabytes and shaking them as though it would be the cure to bringing them back to functionality. “Get up! I command you to get up! I was so close! So close!”

“It’s over, Trixie.”

Trixie cringed and peeked over her shoulder. Harpflank and Sweets stood right next to her, the megacello hovering just above them and ready to flatten her in a moments notice.

Fueled by desperation, Trixie’s horn glowed and picked up a dozen parabytes. “It won’t end this way!” Trixie raged. “Awaken!” The parabytes in her magical grasp suddenly sparked to life and flew next to her. Trixie thrust her hoof forward and proclaimed, “Now, destroy them and leave no trace!”

Lyra and Bon-Bon, already exhausted from constant fighting, set themselves into a stance and readied for more mayhem.

Trixie grinned, her eyes alight with madness. “Attack-huh?” Trixie stopped herself as one of the parabytes hovered near her the tip of her mane and gave it a tentative sniff. “What are youWAAAHHHH! Stop! Don’t eat my beautiful mane!”

As one, the parabytes descended upon the villain and began gnawing away at her cape and hair, oblivious to her cries. Trixie whirled and took off as though the hounds of Tartarus themselves were at her fetlocks. The parabytes gave chase with Snips and Snails quickly following after her.

Once Trixie and her minions were out of sight, Lyra and Bon-Bon collapsed to the pavement.

“Hey, Lyra?”

“Yeah?”

“Remind me to never feel sorry for pulling the wings off of a fly.”

Scene 9

“Wow, did you two put these things through the wringer.”

“Sorry,” Bon-Bon apologized then winced as Nurse Redheart applied a stinging salve to her flank. “But they really helped protect us out there.”

“Yeah, if it weren’t for the suits, I don’t think we’d be here right now,” Lyra seconded from her bed on the opposite side of the room. Nightmare Night was still several months away, but Lyra was doing a reasonable impersonation of a mummy with how many bandages were wrapped around her body.

“I suppose you’re right,” Vinyl sighed in agreement. The dirtied and tattered power suits lay before her. “Better for these to suffer than yourselves.”

“Too late,” Lyra grumbled.

“We just need to program them to be sturdier,” Octavia commented next to her. In her hooves was her ornate cello and she held it protectively even as she played a soothing melody for her bedridden comrades.

“It seems Luna’s henchponies have caught up to us faster than we expected,” Derpy said through a monitor connected to her office as she looked over the damage reports from the latest attacks. The stack was significantly higher this week than before. “We need to be ready for anything.”

“We’re on it!” Vinyl chirped. She saluted and headed off to tinker with the suits. She swore that she would bring them back even better than before. There was no way she was going to allow Trixie to one-up her! “Come on, babe!”

“Don’t call me babe.”

[Credits roll.]

Epilogue

“WE WOULD ASK IF YOU HAVE FAILED, BUT THAT MUCH SEEMS OBVIOUS.”

“My... Lady,” Trixie struggled to say. Her entire body was covered in bite marks and much of her hat and cape were gone. It would take weeks for her mane to grow out again. “I can... explain...”

“ENOUGH,” Luna spoke, no amusement whatsoever in Her voice. “WE DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES. WHILE YOUR CREATIONS HAVE LEFT METROPONY IN TURMOIL, IT ISN’T ENOUGH. BEGONE FROM OUR SIGHT UNTIL YOU CAN BE SURE THAT YOUR NEXT PLAN WILL CONQUER THE CITY.”

Trixie nodded sadly and turned to head out the door. When the giant bulkhead closed on the retreating magician, Luna settled Herself within Her throne and pondered.

“PERHAPS IT IS TIME TO SEEK OUT NEW PONIES TO CARRY OUT MY PLANS...”

Episode 13: To Prove Their Pony Worth, They'll Overthrow the Earth

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS

Original story and concept by Arcainum

Opening Titles

Metropony City! Mighty skyscrapers towering over the millions of ponies going about their lives on the streets below! Working, playing or just taking in the weather, Metropony bustles as only the big city can. But! All is not well in this equine metropolis! Below the streets lies a threat - a threat to the happiness and friendship of good ponies everywhere! And the name of that threat is Luna, the exiled Princess who has returned with vengeance in her eyes! With the aid of Her villainous helper Trixie and her army of terrible Lunatrons, She will stop at nothing to destroy the pony way of life! Standing against her, however, are two heroic mares, known only to the citizens of Metropony as...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: EPISODE 13 - To Prove Their Pony Worth, They'll Overthrow the Earth

Scene 1

“YOU HAVE FAILED ME AGAIN, TRIXIE!”

Two juvenile unicorns winced. Even through the heavy bulkhead that led into Luna’s chambers, Her Royal Supervillain Voice could be heard and felt. The pair could only imagine what it was like for the Great and Powerful Trixie on the other side.

“Her Highness sounds really angry today, Snips,” the tall, lanky unicorn said.

The smaller, stout unicorn gulped and nodded his head. “Yeah, Snails. This one won’t end well.”

“IT HAS BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS SINCE WE STARTED OUR ATTACK UPON THIS CITY AND YET IT STILL STANDS! REPEATED FAILURE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED! NOW GO, AND BRING BACK THE HEADS OF THOSE THAT WOULD OPPOSE ME!”

Moments after Luna’s tirade, the gigantic metal bulkhead began to rumble open. Soon, the subdued form of Trixie was revealed. Her trademark hat and cape were present though even they appeared to be sagging over her body as if to mirror her mood. Without comment, Trixie trotted past Snips and Snails and headed down the corridor. The duo gave a worried glance to each other and followed after their boss.

Nopony spoke as they made their way through the underground base that made up Luna’s Empire. Hall after hall was traversed with only the sound of their hooves clopping against the metal floors and the henchponies going about their duties. At last, Trixie reached her lab and opened the triple-layered security door with a burst of magic, then headed inside.

The lab was enormous, colored a sterile white to provide the least amount of distractions. Rows of cabinets filled with electronic parts lined the far wall while computer towers covered in blinking lights lay against the adjacent walls. The ceiling was high but the dangling multi-colored cords and hanging electronic screens displaying lines upon lines of code made it seem lower to the floor. A gigantic metal table was situated in the center of the lab and it was littered with drawings, prototypes of Lunatrons in miniature, and hundreds of spare parts. Despite all the equipment packed into the lab, there was plenty of room to move about. Trixie had designed the layout herself and kept it in pristine shape to best work out her designs and plans.

Still staying silent, Trixie pulled down a roll of parchment from a storage shelf and walked over to an empty section of the lab. However, the moment she pressed a button on the floor, panels seamlessly built into the surface opened with a hiss. A cushion and easel rose up from the ground, followed by clicks and clacks of compartments opening and expanding, revealing dozens of art and writing implements. Trixie laid it out her parchment on the easel and sat down on the cushion.

“Now then,” Trixie announced, finally breaking her silence. “Time to produce the most amazing feat of design and creativity the world has ever seen!” Snips and Snails walked up to her on either side, watching with rapt attention as Trixie levitated a pencil to the parchment and began sketching out concepts at a furious rate. “Soon, all will fall against my genius! This has to work. It will work!”

Scene 2

It didn’t work.

“Curse you Harpflank and Sweets! Curse yooooouuuuuuu!”

Trixie lay sprawled over her work table, her hat missing and her cape sporting several rips and tears. A thin trail of smoke wafted from the tip of the curl of Trixie’s mane. At least, what was left of her mane. The unicorn villain pounded her hoof against the table, all the while shouting curses and threats against her most persistent foes.

Snips and Snails stood beside her, each one covered in black splotches of ash and half of their Luna Empire uniforms ripped to shreds. They watched helplessly as their boss continued her rant, their faces downcast as they beheld the pony they looked up to the most flail about in her post-defeat anger.

Finally, Trixie wound down from her outburst. She straightened up her posture and took a long, deep breath. She let it out slowly, the tension in her face gradually seeping away. “All right. New game plan. Trixie see the flaws now so it will be mere foals play to make adjustments.”

Snips swallowed and raised a hoof. “Anything we can do, oh Great and Powerful Trixie?”

“Yes. You buffoons stay out of my way. Trixie needs absolute silence to concentrate on what to do next.” She waved a hoof in the vague direction of the lab, even as she headed over to her easel. “Dismissed. Go do something away from me.” With that, Trixie sat down, pulled out a new piece of parchment and began to work.

Her two assistants frowned, glanced at each other, and walked away. They rounded the large table in the center until they reached the end farthest from Trixie. In a hushed whisper, Snips said, “Pal, I think all these losses the past few weeks have really gotten Trixie down.”

“I’ll say,” Snails replied, his gaze tracing over the table and all the scattered items on top of it. “She hasn’t been all that fun to be around lately. And she snaps at us a whole lot more.”

“Yeah, and Luna’s been on her case, too.” Snips fell silent, his focus also drifting over the table. “We need to do something. Something to cheer her up. Maybe...” His eyes widened and he bounced up and down on his stubby legs. “Hey! You thinking what I’m thinking, Snails?”

Snails nodded. “Yeah, but where are we going to find a herd of nerfs at this time of day?”

Snips’ excitement came to an abrupt stop. “What? No! Forget whatever it is you’re thinking about.

“We’re going to get the G&PT a gift! That’ll get her to cheer up. What do you say?”

Snails scrunched up his brow and tapped a hoof to his forehead. “I guess that works too.”

“Great! Now we just need to think of something that she’ll like.” At this, Snips rubbed his hoof against his chin. “But what could we get her?”

“Well, we got all this stuff here,” Snails said and swept his hoof in a wide arc, indicating the large table full of discarded equipment. “Can’t we use that?”

“Hmm, I guess you’re right. Yeah, let’s look around and see what we can use.”

Scene 3

A few hours later, Snails trotted up to Trixie and gave her a tap to the shoulder with a hoof. The act startled Trixie so bad she drove her quill through the easel.

“AAAHHH! My work!” Trixie exclaimed. She whirled around and smacked Snails upside the head. “Trixie thought she told you not to bother her!”

Snails rubbed his sore noggin and said, “Sorry, Great and Powerful Trixie. But Snips and I want to show you something.”

“Whatever it is, it can wait.” She turned back to the easel, ignoring Snails completely.

Snails was never one to take a hint. “Oh, but you’ll like this. We worked really hard to make it for you.”

The villainess’ eyes narrowed to thin slits as she continued to scratch her quill against the parchment. “Begone from my sight before I use you for target practise for this new Lunatron.”

“Nah, I’m too thin. Snips would be a bigger target.”

Trixie slumped against the easel and sighed. “You’re not leaving until you show me this stupid thing, aren’t you?”

“Yep! C’mon.” He hooked his hoof around Trixie’s leg and pulled her away from her work area. She quickly slapped the offending hoof away.

“This had better be good,” she grumbled.

Snails led her to the large table in the center of the room. A brown tarp lay over the table now, obscuring everything underneath it. Snips stood next to it, a broad smile on his face.

“We figured you were stressed and feeling down, so we made you this!” Snips grabbed the tarp with his teeth and yanked it off the table with a flourish, revealing a model of the entire city of Metropony made out of scrap metal. There were even blinking lights for the intersections and hanging globes representing the sun and moon. “Behold! Snails and I made this so you can easily plan out all your missions! What do you think?”

Trixie told them exactly how she thought.

“You morons!” she screeched. She ran around the table, her eyes wide with panic. “I was going to use these parts for my next Lunatron! Now they’re ruined!” She finished her loop around the table and stomped up to her cowering assistants. “You two just cost me days in finding replacements! Mistress Luna will have my hide!”

“S-S-Sorry, Trixie,” Snips said while holding onto Snails for dear life. “We... we just...”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses,” Trixie hissed. She leaned down, her furious eyes filling up their vision. “Get out.”

“Huh? But—”

“Trixie said get out!” She fired a bolt of magic at the pair, forcing them to separate. The bolt slammed against the floor, leaving a smoking batch of burnt metal between them.

For once, Snips and Snails took the hint and ran for the door as fast as they could. They continued to hear Trixie’s angry ranting until the lab door hissed closed behind them.

Scene 4

“Well, that was a dud.”

Snips and Snails walked the streets of Metropony, their gait slow and their heads hung low. Ponies passed them on either side, some looking back at the sorry looking colts and wondering why two kids their age should look so dejected. Snips and Snails paid them no mind and continued their aimless trot. Neither of them worried about being identified by the locals as Trixie’s underlings since they were in disguise.

Meaning, they were completely naked.

Without their Luna Empire uniforms, they appeared as just ordinary colts on a stroll through the city. Or at least, ordinary colts that had the air about them that their whole world was over.

“Tell me about it,” Snips replied to his taller friend. “We just can’t seem to do anything right. We try to help with missions and we mess up. We try to do something nice and we get yelled at.”

“So whatta we gonna do, Snips?” Snails asked. He looked down at his fellow, not looking at where he was going. “If we stay, we’re gonna get yelled at more. If we leave, we have no place—”

Without warning, the door to a electronics store burst open and a white unicorn mare wearing purple shades came running out with a package in her telekinetic grasp. She looked over her shoulder and called back, “Let’s get back to the lab and get this installed, babe!”

“Don’t call me ba—”

The grey earth pony following behind didn’t get to finish her response. Two inattentive unicorns crashed into each other, sending the package the white one was carrying flying into the air. The orange and white ponies crashed to the pavement, their eyes swirling in a comical manner. The white one recovered first, only to watch as her package smashed onto the sidewalk. The sound of something inside cracking reached her ears.

The white unicorn’s eyes widened to the point where they expanded beyond her shades. With a grunt of effort, she shoved Snails away and ran up to the package. Gingerly, she picked up the brown bag and gasped as several pieces of computer circuitry fell out, scattering against the ground.

“Mah... my... my invention...” she breathed out, shock filling her voice. She stared at the pieces littering the sidewalk, unmoving.

The grey mare walked up to her and laid a hoof on the unicorn’s shoulder in sympathy. After a few seconds, she cleared her throat.

“We can just buy another one, you know.”

The words were enough to galvanize the unicorn out of her stupor. She whirled around and marched over to the worried looking orange colt that had caused this mess and thrust her snout into his. “What’s the big idea?! Why don’t you watch where you’re going!”

Snails gave a low whimper, his legs shaking uncontrollably. “S-S-Sorry. I didn’t mean too!”

The grey mare suddenly came between the two and gently pushed her unicorn companion away. “Vinyl, it was an accident. You weren’t looking either.”

“But Octavia!” Vinyl cried. “We needed that part and the commander has been tight with our budget lately. If she sees we racked up another charge on the card, who knows what she’ll do!”

“Probably weep and moan and then eat a muffin,” Octavia said evenly. “Just like she always does.”

Vinyl shook her head. “I say we get him to pay for it. I’m not willing to chance the commander getting her hooves on the cannon again.”

“I think you’re overreacting...”

“Am I?! You know how she gets when—WHAT?!”

Vinyl turned sharply at the colts poking her in the side. Her jaw nearly hit the floor and her shades came askew at what they held before her. Hovering in front of her by a light green aura was the computer part she had been ranting about. However, it was now all in one piece and looked to be in proper working order.

“Um... I think we fixed it,” Snips said, giving the older unicorn a sheepish smile.

“Yeah, I hope this means you’re not mad at us,” Snails, the one levitating the part, added.

“Uh...,” Vinyl stated eloquently. She took hold of the part in her own magic and turned it over, inspecting every detail. Her trained eyes quickly determined that all the pieces were in their proper place and soldered on even more securely than before. She lowered the piece and slipped her shades off to stare at the pair of colts before her. They each gave nervous grins up at her, their eyes pleading to be let off the hook. The two wilted when Vinyl grinned at them, showing off rows of white, gleaming teeth.

“How would you two like a job?”

Scene 5

ExTech, the branch of M.A.R.E. responsible for developing all the equipment and gadgets to counteract the Lunar Empire. Snips and Snails were quite literally in the heart of enemy territory.

Or should that be home territory now? The two colts had found themselves readily agreeing to Vinyl’s offer, much to their surprise. The chance to get away from Trixie’s ungratefulness and start a new life with the other side seemed too good a chance to pass up. Surely, these ponies would be more understanding and less judgemental. They were the good guys, after all!

“So, there’s the heat resistant shield test room,” Vinyl was saying, pointing a hoof over to a door with the appropriate sign. She walked down the brightly lit hall, Octavia at her side and Snips and Snails following after them. She pointed her other hoof to a door on the opposite side of the hall. “There’s the quantum flux acceleration room. And over here we test the chewing quality of all types of muffins.”

“You test muffins?” Snips asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“It’s the commander’s pet project. Don’t ask.”

The four ponies continued on their way, Vinyl and Octavia acting as tour guides for the new recruits, pointing out all the major landmarks as they went by them. The colts were particularly interested in the open food court, but Octavia insisted they remain on schedule and moved on. Soon, they reached an office door marked with Vinyl and Octavia’s names and went in. Inside, half the room was cluttered with gizmos and whirring motors of every size while the other had a single desk with a computer that appeared well kept.

“There, now you know the place,” Vinyl said and walked over to the junk littering the floor while Octavia headed over to the computer. The two scientists rummaged around their respective work areas, grabbed a stack of papers and brought them over to Snips and Snails. “Might as well jump right in. Help us finish up these work reports and then we’ll get to the real fun stuff!”

“Uh, okay,” Snips said and took the offered papers from Octavia in his magic. Snails did the same with Vinyl’s stack.

Octavia pointed towards a set of tables near the office entrance. “You can work over there,” she said. With that done, she trotted back to her computer and began typing at a furious pace.

“Yep, just ask us if you need help,” Vinyl added and went to her own end of the office where she started pawing through her pile of gadgets.

Now left alone, Snips and Snails gave each other questioning glances. Shrugging, they set down their stacks, picked up a pen, and got to writing.

Hours later, the two finally finished. Snails groaned and flopped over the table, his horn aching from holding his pen for so long. “We’re... we’re done...”

“What... next...” Snips gasped.

Octavia looked up from her computer and raised a delicate eyebrow. “That was certainly fast. Impressive.”

“Dudes, that’s, like, a new record!” came Vinyl’s voice from somewhere underneath a pile of electronics. Her head popped up, scattering equipment everywhere and with cords dangling from her ears and horn. “Once we get those parts you filed for, we’ll be getting so much done around here.”

“Yeah, about that,” Snips said, levitating his stack of papers towards Octavia. “Why do you have to fill out so many forms, in triplicate, just for a few transistors and wire cutters?”

Octavia snorted. “While we are working towards protecting the city from a very real threat, we are still funded by the government. And they don’t let a paperclip go through without the proper paperwork.”

“Jeez, that stinks,” Snails said. “We were given anything we asked for where we used to work.”

“Oh? And where was that?”

“The Luna—”

Without warning, Snips lunged forward and shoved a hoof into Snails mouth, silencing him. “Ah, heh, heh. The Lu... Lu... narium! That’s where we worked! Heh. But it, ah, got a little too bossy for us so we left.”

“Indeed.” Octavia scratched her chin, looking off into the distance. “I’ll have to check this place out sometime.”

“Do it later,” Vinyl said as she dug her way out of her work zone. She took the stack that Snails finished and headed for the door. “Let’s get these babies processed so that we can get to the fun part!”

Snips let out a sigh of relief. Keeping his voice low, he muttered, “Thank Luna. Something interesting to do.”

Scene 6

“Alright boys. Heave!”

With a mighty grunt, Snips and Snails pulled with all their might on the length of rope in their mouths. An engine dangled on the other side, slowing being raised by the combined horsepower of the two colts. Technicians on either side of the engine watched and waited for the delicate piece of equipment to gain enough height, then carefully pushed it into place. The engine fit perfectly into the powercore that would serve as ExTech’s source for electricity for the next two years; three if Octavia could reign in Vinyl’s more aggressive experiments.

“That’s it! Let’er go!”

Snips and Snails released the rope and fell to the floor, panting and gasping for breath. Vinyl Scratch came up to them, a wide grin on her face. “Nice! You two really know how to pull your weight around here.”

“Thanks... I think,” Snails responded.

Heaving himself to his hooves and taking a few moments to catch his breath, Snails looked up to his new boss. “Um, Ms. Scratch? Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Well, I know we’re new and all, but I was wondering when we’d get to help with the cool stuff like helping build robots or designing new weapons.”

“Yeah, all we’ve done so far is help lift stuff,” Snails added.

“Or do all the filing,” Snips said.

“And clean out the bathrooms.”

“And squeegee the main viewscreen.”

“And wash that weird pegasus’ hooves.”

“And—”

“Woah, woah, timeout,” Vinyl interrupted, making a “T” formation with her hooves. “You saying that good old fashion maintenance is beneath you guys?”

“No!” they both cried out as one.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Uh... well,” Snips said and pawed at the ground. “We... uh, thought you hired us for our technical knowhow.”

Snails nodded. “Like with machines and stuff.”

“Oh,” Vinyl replied. She scrunched up her face and rubbed a hoof behind her head. “Well, um, that’s great and all, but we still... uh... Tavi, help me out?”

Octavia started, having been content to be silent during the conversation. She blinked, a blank expression on her muzzle until she finally shrugged her shoulders. “What can I say? You’re the hired help.”

Vinyl facehoofed. “Real tactful there, babe.”

The two colts gaped at them, neither of them able to form words.

Vinyl and Octavia were saved from any further awkwardness when an alarm sounded. All ponies in the area jerked and quickly ran to their stations. Snips and Snails watched everypony scramble with interest.

“What’s that? What’s going on?” Snails asked.

“That’s the alarm for trouble,” Vinyl said. “A Lunatron!”

Snips and Snails gasped. They spared a look to each other, then burst out into happy grins. “Awesome, we get to see what it’s like on this side!” Snips exclaimed.

“Let’s go, Tavi,” Vinyl was saying. She and Octavia turned and galloped away, towards the main control room.

“C’mon, Snails! We can’t miss this.”

“Right behind ya!”

The pair of colts ran after the retreating forms of Vinyl and Octavia. Soon, they reached an open area where rows and rows of computer stations where kept. The head mares were already at their stations and giving instructions to the staff. Octavia donned a headset and seated herself in front of a computer panel displaying maps and other tactical data. Vinyl stood next to her with her own headset, ready to give advice when she could.

Snips and Snails trotted up to them, their eyes wide and eager. “What can we do, eh?” Snails asked as he bounced up and down on his hooves.

Octavia whirled on them, her expression cross. “Stay back. This is no place for you.”

“But we can help,” Snips said. “We know how—”

“Watch out, Sweets!”

Vinyl’s cry of warning came seconds too late. On the main viewscreen, everypony watched as the Lunatron rampaging down the street managed to clip the red-clad hero with a metallic hoof, sending Sweets through a glass window. A groan could be heard over the loudspeakers, letting everypony know she was still alive but hurt.

“Harpflank. Sweets is down. Get over to her before—”

Again, the Lunatron was faster. Gun ports under the monstrosity’s chest opened and a large barrel slid out. The Lunatron wasted no time in firing on the helpless Sweets and reduced the building to a smoldering pile of rubble.

“Sweets! Sweets, answer me!”

No sound came, only static. Vinyl slammed her hoof against the counsel and yelled, “Say something!”

“Phew, that was a close one.”

The voice that come over the speakers was not Sweets. Instead, a masked unicorn came barreling out of a building next to the destroyed one, carrying four ponies on her back. Three were a cream, magenta, and pink color respectively, while the other was the unmistakable form of Sweets.

“Harpflank!” Vinyl cried out. “Thank Celestia.”

Harpflank set down the three civilians and propped Sweets back to her hooves. “C’mon partner, let’s kick some Lunatron!”

“Definitely,” Sweets agreed. She shook her head and quickly dusted herself off. “I owe it one now.”

Snails reached up and poked Vinyl in the side, eliciting a yelp from the ExTech agent. “Hey, tell them that the gun needs to cool down for three seconds before—”

“Not now, kid,” Vinyl said, shooing him away with a hoof. “Go find a video game to play or something. This is serious.”

“But I’m telling you—”

This time, Octavia acted, snapping Snails’ mouth close with both of her hooves. “Listen closely, you two,” she said, her eyes narrowed and a deep frown marring her features. “Either leave, or we’ll get security to force you to leave. Which will it be?”

Snails felt a shiver run down his spine. He gulped and nodded his head frantically. Octavia tilted her head towards the door and let him go, immediately turning her attention back to the console.

Snails looked down to Snips, who sighed and shook his head. As one, they turned and headed for the exit, their heads down the whole time. Behind them, they could hear more shouting and explosions but didn’t pay them any head. Once they were well away from the action taking place, Snips looked up and pointed at an elevator. A short ride later and the two found themselves at the parking garage for M.A.R.E and ExTech employees. The chaos from the Lunatron allowed them to slip out of the building without being harassed.

It was two blocks away that Snails finally spoke. “Now what?”

Snips didn’t answer. He kept walking ahead, taking notice of the relative calm from the citizens nearby. Harpflank and Sweets must have taken care of the Lunatron for everything to have returned to normal so quickly.

Without their help.

“I don’t know, Snails,” Snips said, his voice barely rising above a whisper. “It doesn’t seem like we belong anywhere lately.”

“Well, why don’t we head back to the hideout?”

“And get yelled at by Trixie again?” Snips countered and glared up at his friend. “Or did you forget why we left?”

Snails gave a shrug. “Yeah, but at least we got to do stuff and go on missions. Being a good guy is too much trouble.”

“Heh, I guess you got a point.” Snips’ mouth raised a little, forming a tiny smile. “I guess it’s the devil we know than the devil we don’t.”

“What does Princess Celestia have to do with this?”

“... It’s an expression.”

Scene 7

“Where have you two been?”

Snips and Snails wilted under Trixie’s stern gaze, unable to look her in the eye.

“Um, out?” Snails offered.

“And about?” Snips added.

Trixie waved a hoof, cutting off any further excuses. “Whatever, Trixie does not want to hear your pathetic excuses. I have more important things to do.” Her horn lit up and a roll of parchment levitated before the two colts and rolled open. “This is our next mission. Several key spots in the city have been identified that if taken out, will cause Metropony plenty of grief. I already sent a Lunatron out to distract Harpflank and Sweets so that we can scout out these places without interference.”

Her assistants looked over the plans in awe. “Wow, Great and Powerful Trixie!” Snails exclaimed. “How’d you figure all this out?”

Behind the parchment, Trixie looked away, an uncharacteristic blush forming on her muzzle. “Trixie may have... found these places... with the help of that... model you made...”

Snips and Snails stared at each other as wide smiles spread across their faces. Snips beamed up at Trixie and said, “You mean something we did helped you out?”

Trixie quickly regained her composure and turned away. “Yes, yes, you’re all that and a bag of beans.”

“Mmmm, beans...” Snails said dreamily, a thin trail of drool leaking from his mouth.

“Move it, you two! It’s finally time for us to make this city quake in fear!”

The two unicorns raced after her, eager to put this week’s plan into action.

[ Credits roll.

NEXT WEEK ON HARPFLANK AND SWEETS:

“The stage is set. The die is cast. And now nothing can stop me!”
“How did she get past those safeguards?”
“AH! The goggles! They do nothing!”
“This doesn’t look good, Lyra...”
“EVERYTHING IS GOING EXACTLY AS I HAVE FORESEEN.”

TUNE IN FOR THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF... HARPFLANK AND SWEETS ]

Epilogue

“Hey, Bon-bon.”

“Yeah, Lyra?”

“What do you want to do tonight?”

“I don’t know. Probably the same thing we do every night.”

The two superheroes looked at each other and grinned.

As one, they leapt to their hind legs and cried, “Try to conquer the World of Ponycraft!”

Author's Note

Narf!