Rali's Pimp Adventures

by Billiamiscool

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Original Character, Comedy, Fluttershy, Random, Sex, Human, Gore
Length: 1170

The King of Lads, Rali, goes on a magical adventure to Equestria, and Fluttershy is his first victim.

Once apon a time there was a pimp named Rali, he was The King of Lads, and one night of bitch slapping has lead him to Equestria, where he's decided to take over the land, and make all the ponies his hoes.

I cri evry teim.

--

This is a troll fic through and through, it was written by me and my friends when we were bored as hell, it contains lots of in jokes, stupid everything, and dumbness, if I were you I'd avoid this story at all costs, in fact, close the page now.

Do it, it'll be better for everyone.

Seriously, go!

Published 2014-09-23 16:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-23 16:40:04 UTC

Wat.

Author's Note

I thought it said in the description, LEAVE. This story will taint your mind!

Wat.

The king of lads was masturbating furiously in his MLP styled dungeon.

To be more specific, Rali was shoving a fat hoe up his urethra. Rali enjoyed the screams of the hoe while he ruthlessly shoved her up his penis head. He had no mercy, the king of lads was not about to bow down to this basic bitch.

His thoughts quickly turned to ponies though, his favorite show was My Little Pony and while he wasn’t fucking hoes or growing his neck beard he was watching MLP. He mostly loved MLP porn, the idea of multicoloured equines shoving things in each other just exists him in a way he doesn’t fully understand, but fully embraces.

He never really took it into consideration until just now when he had fully devoured the hoe into his dick. He just had a thought, What if I, the King of Lads, could go to the magical land of Equestria?

He quicky ejaculted shortly after.

His cum sprayed all over the room, and everything his little wigglers touched soon became a magical portal to Equestria.

In this phase of adrenaline he jumps into this portal without zipping up his pants, with his little warty dick hanging out, he quickly zips up in panic. He realises that although he already came this bitch was still latched onto his dick so he gave her a nice little pimp smack and walked merrily on his way to the land... OF EQUESTRIA.

After a bit of walking, and bitch smacking, he found himself in the town of Ponyville, but he knew that after his short walk through the town it’ll be called, “LadVille, the place of the King and his bitches.”

As Rali steps into the land of Equestria he see’s a yellow pegasus, His first thought was,
Gee, my first victim in this new land of Equestria! She will now be forever known as Flutterslut!
Flutterslut introducers her self to this new looking creature we know as Rali. He gives her a slanted look as if thinking about what to say to this shy pegasus.

He then, out of no where he screams, “BLOOD WILL BE SHED FROM MY FIRST VICTIM FLUTTERSLUT!”

Flutterslut was very confused what was happening here because she knew no flutterslut, she only knew herself.. FlutterSHY.

However Rali continues to pursue his screams, “KNEEL YOU SMELLY WHORE I WILL FUCK YOUR ASS INTO OBLIVION!”

Flutterslut was very confused by what was happening at the moment so she awkwardly followed his orders by going down on her first two legs, slowly followed by her other two legs.

“PERFECT!” Rali gloated, he then walked around as Flutterslut tried to follow with her eyes, then out of shock she received a big hard turkey slap. (For those of you like Flutterslut who don’t know what Turkey Slapping is it’s where you whip out your cock and give them a wet sloppy smack across the face. Now back to the story).

Rali yelled at Flutterslut, “EYES FRONT YOU WHORE!”

Flutterslut, shocked and terrified, quickly darted her eyes front and sat there scared shitless of what was about to happen to her, lucky for Rali she was, well… Shitless.

The King walked around the back of Flutterslut, and mounted her as if he was a real stallion, his cock hot-dogged her as he leaned in close to the back of her head, he licked her ear before saying, “now listen here, Flutterslut, I’m going to fuck you. I going to fuck you all night long, and you’re going to love it, you're going to beg for it. And you going to get payed for it, making me the RICHEST LAD EVER!”

Before Flutterslut could reply she felt a cock shoved up one of her holes, but the feeling was so unimaginably pleasurable she couldn’t even tell which of her two holes was being ripped.

What Flutterslut didn’t know was that Rali’s wiggler was a magical piece of flesh, one he stole from Obama, and every woman he fucks with it is instantly under his will.

And on his cock, was a ring. A ring of power. Embroidered with the logos of various Lad companies, Nike, Nautica, Obey, etc.

“That’s right, slut, feel the noscope!” Cried Rali in pleasure, not realising that he’d forgotten to 420 blaze it before starting, and that he’d forgotten to put on Snoop Dogg on his Sony Walkman. Snoop was definitely his favourite sex toy he just shoved shoved Snoop right up there with his little wriggler every time and this knew pony whore was no different. She would feel the pain of Snoop Dogg, or Lion or whatever the fuck he calls himself.

“When the pimp's in the crib ma.
Drop it like it's hot,” Flutterslut heard Snoop softly whisper in her Flutterslit.

Snoops lyrics tickled her clit and makes her oh so aroused, even though the space between her pooper and her vag were completely torn she could feel it tingling

Rali kept on thrusting, thrusting harder and harder. Hot beads of sweat were forming in between her pony pooper and Rali’s skinny legs. Rali’s little warty willy was going into maximum overdrive from all the sexing that was going on. After a lengthy period of 2 and a half minutes, he achieved orgasm.

He yelled a mighty roar. “I HAVE FINISHED WITH YOU PEASANT SCUM!” And as his already mighty dick shrunk down to it’s original (0.3 inches) size, Flutterslut’s now dead body dropped off his willy.

His prized gimps Gusicus, WillyCunt, and the Jackinator crawled out of his ass hole, happy to eat the remains of their masters most recent hoe. They ate the nasty shit with glee from the pony, and Rali’s asshole.

The king of lads grunted in satisfaction, his golden cum already drying, and the burned field already re-growing with magical hoe plants.

The hoe plants being the only plant that grows ready and submissive hoes.

Oh, and did we forget to mention that Rali blows fire from his ears? Cos’ he does, and it’s fucking heaka cunt.

The gimps crawl back up his asshole, which is a portal to Hogwarts, and Rali simply looks on to Equestria.

He noticed all the ponies walking about, all the males walking around in gimp outfits, and all the females walking around in latex catsuits, with leashes so they can properly guide their gimps.

WillyCunt stuck his head out of his master's asshole, “huh, that’s slightly different to the show.”

Gusicus stuck his head out next, “yeah, I remember more friendship, and less latex.”

The Jackinator stuck his dick out, which had a mouth on it, “na, ya shit doggs, after Equestria Girls came out and tits were cannon to the MLP world, the whole place went to cunt. Isn’t that right, master-lad?”

Rali just smiled, knowing that somewhere, right now, someone is masterbating to a picture of Jesus Christ.