Disturbed Indestructible Criminal

by jackinthebox1984

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 4091

The fallen angel Kokabel has come to Equestria.

Kokabel was once an element of Laughter, however he has fallen from harmony, and been forsaken by the angels of Heaven. The fallen angel of stars and constellations Kokabel, has now come to Equestria seeking out harmony for him, and his clan to feed on. He's primary mission is, to determine Equestria's defenses. However missions, don't always go as planed, and he may find something he didn't even know existed, Salvation.
Starts after the end of season 4.

Tags info.
Random- I have seen random before but I call this random because I'm just making it up as I go.
Comedy- I'm aiming to make it funny but my aim sucks. Sorry.
Warnings.
I'm not trying to hurt anyone's religious beliefs. I rated this teen just, because of somewhat religious content.
I'm bored and want to make an insane pony story don't judge me…
My English is bad and it's my first language… Twilight forgive me.
For Atheist no this is not religious propaganda either.

Declaimer- I do NOT own My Little Pony: Friendship is magic. Hasbro and Lauren Faust does. This is a non-profit huge comment on My Little Pony: Friendship is magic. Please for the love of Celestia, don't hurt me.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-04 08:34:37 UTC

The Beginning

Private Novelty Wares, a black stallion was standing on guard dressed in mismatched armor. Outside the new that had popped up. He had shown up, and was promptly shoved into the position with no training. Despite it all he was happy just to look like a guard because he knew he could be a novelty guard.

On the other side of the front door stood a unicorn mare with a mint coat, brilliant cyan mane and tail with a white streak. Lyra had also joined the guard. . She had not spoken a word to the black stallion.

The crush Novelty had for the mint unicorn was insane. He spent the last three hours making plans for wedding, foals, and large tubes of jelly. All of which Lyra's wife Bon Bon would have bucked him for had she known.

Looking up into the previously clear sky, Novelty noticed some new dark clouds. It was alarming to him because the Pegasus scheduled clear skies all day. Looking at them he made plans to ask Fluttershy during lunch. Then a storm of red lightning, and blue magic waves erupted in the sky. Something came out of it paused for a minute, and started heading to the castle.

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In the sky in front of a blue portal. Was Kokabel, a tall muscular man with large white wings flapping in the air. He had full body armor on. The chest plate had a picture of a glowing blood red moon on it. The rest of the armor was black with dozens of diamonds scattered on it.

Kokabel had just arrived by the shift gate. He was looking around with a confused look on his face. "This is were that mega spell came from? It looks like a medieval village... I guess I'll fly to the tree castle?" Turning towards the castle he flew off.

At the entrance to the castle were two ponies. Kokabel had met intelligent ponies before. They were a blood thirsty warrior race, but if you showed them power they would respect it. The two of them however were both frozen in fear. He decided to just walk by them.

Four feet from the door the stallion placed the tip of his spear against Kokabel's neck. "Halt human what is your business here." The stallion said ending with a smog smile, as if he was happy he figured out what to say.

Looking at the stallion with the iron spear pushed against his neck. He didn't know if he should find this funny, insulting, or just ignore it. His look of wonder changed to a smile, and he said. "First of all I'm not a human. Do you see the wings? Second of all demigods like me are immortal, and Indestructible." He then grabbed the spear head closing his hand it folded like paper. He let go and waited for the reaction.

The stallion looked at his broken spear.  At first he was in shock, but then he started wailing, and crying. "You you big meany." He then bolted through the doors into the castle. At this Kokabel, figured these ponies were different from his friends in Tartarus.

He looked to the other guard. It didn't make any sense but she had a smile. Oblivious to what just happened "Oh don't mind me just go in big guy." she cooed. At this Kokabel, walked into the castle.

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The castle itself had many different colors with stain glassed windows, crystal lighting walls and pillars. The inside however was rather bare. No painting on the walls, or sculptures around. Not even any other guards, or armaments around. He continued walking to the main chamber of the castle with no resistance.

Walking in through the open doors. Kokabel became very aware of a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane. "What did you do to Novelty Wares!" She said with the rage of a mother bear protecting her cubs. It seemed like she was casting some kind of spell with her eyes.

He was about ready to just go somewhere else to find answers. But then he might have to endure even more of these insane ponies. Kokabel put on his most diplomatic face on, and said. "I'm sorry, I don't know why he would have so much value in that spear. But I shouldn't of broke it. Even tho he had it at my neck."

Now the yellow Pegasus was looking at his neck. In a way that reminded him of a mother caring for her child. Turning to the stallion she spoke in a stern tone of voice. "Private Novelty Wares, did you attack this man?" Relenting a bit she added. "Did you have a reason to attack him?"

She was being somewhat authoritative. But she was also radiating discomfort. Kokabel figured it was equally possible that he was talking to royalty or a servant.

The private was in the corner of the room. Still sobbing over his broken spear. He put on the most determined face he could muster. Only to revert back to a whining foal as he spoke. "I was doing my job. That winged human just went charging at the front door. So I told him to stop and placed my spear at his neck." He glanced back at the broken spear. "Then he grabbed Shiva, and broke her. A spear owned by King Purgle, of the minotaurs in the Ruin area!" Novelty then returned to wailing and crying. But stayed fixed in the corner of the room.

The yellow pony was looking back, and forward between him and Novelty. Clearly unsure of what to do. He decided to go ahead and introduce himself. "My name is Kokabel. I'm the angle of stars and constellations." He had her attention for only a moment. When a another being teleported into the room. With the head of a pony, and a body made up of all sorts of things. Kokabel could only guess what it was. "Are you some kind of Devil, or demon?" He said with fear in his voice.

It spoke, "Oh certainly not, or maybe a little bit. I'm called a 'draconequus, or Discord, but you can call me Lord Tutti Frutti." He was definitely a demigod of chaos. This situation was becoming far to dangerous. So Kokabel quickly teleported away. "What was his problem? Oh dear Fluttershy I'm so bored would you like to play a game?"

Fluttershy answered the draconequus. "Sorry, but I need to find a way to cheer up Novelty." She looked at the broken stallion with pity. His ears were down by the sides of his head. He was laying in the corner of the room embracing Shiva. In a puddle of his own tears.

Discord examined the broken stallion, before an idea entered his head. With a snap of his fingers another similar spear was in his claw. He then got the attention of the stallion, and handed him the spear.

Novelty's eyes lit up with realization of what the new spear was. He discarded the old spear and began inspecting the new one. With a mindset of wonder and tone as if he was telling children a story he spoke. "This is the spear Bahamut, King Purgle's, personal weapon of choice. Thank you!" He then hugged the draconequus, and galloped back to his spot by the door. Leaving behind a amused Pegasus, and rather annoyed draconequus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Prince Blueblood was sitting at his table, eating his breakfast. When a flash of light caught his eye. Looking to the mantle he noticed the spear, was gone. With a look of contempt he relented "So Discord, is stealing from me again. I think I'll replace the spear, with a sword this time" He went back to eating.

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The Princess of Friendship, and her five best friends. Were all seated in there thrones in the castle. The five were paying close attention to Twilight, as she spoke. "Alright, from the reports of the two guards, and Fluttershy. It look like we have a Disturbed Indestructible Criminal named Kokabel to deal with. I have decided that an acronym should be used to describe him. So we will call him the D.I.C.K.

At this Rainbow, and Pinkie started laughing. While Rarity, and Applejack just looked on with smirks. The Yellow Pegasus face was tuning red, and she was hiding behind her yellow mane.

Twilight just looked at them confused by the reaction."What?"

My Joke Friendship Is Poison

In a small clearing, at the entrance to a cave in the Everfree Forest a pack of manticores, are chewing on a humanoid body with wings.

CHANGE PLACES

Last night, I chose to sleep in the forest. My problem with this is Angels don't like to sleep alone. So, I found a nice pack of warm bodies to cuddle up with in a cave. I'm sure mortals would find doing this insane. But I'm immune to physical attacks, so sleeping with the manticores was about as dangerous as a pack of kittens.

That said, it's not like I have nothing to fear. Just the other day I ran from something I fear. I'm indestructible, but that doesn't mean magic, or force can't make me feel pain. I fear chaos because my element is laughter. Which is easily influenced by chaos. I really don't want to be on the same planet as that thing, but there's really no other choice.

So, here I am covered in saliva. I didn't think they would be this persistent. They actually woke me up, and my wing does not bend that way! Twisting about I threw four of my alarm clocks into trees. Standing up I spread my wings, and fly into the sky. The other two didn't hold on for very long.

From up here looking down I spot another castle. Were the last one looked like it was made yesterday. This one is an old dilapidated castle. I don't think I will find any ponies to talk to, but I may find some useful information. Flying in closer to the castle I feel some powerful harmonic magic. Something that makes me very happy, because fallen angles feed on harmony. "To the castle I go." I sing.

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On the inside of the castle. I can tell there's been some work done. Most likely by a small group of ponies in the little town. "Ha, just 99 percent more to go, and it will be good as new." I say to myself. "Why would you sweep the floor before fixing the structural damage?" I say in a angry tone. "Why am I talking to myself, and becoming angry about this?" I say in confusion.

Reaching out with my magic I sense another soul. One that is poisoning me with disharmony, and draining my magic. "Show yourself or I will destroy you!" I command. After 30 seconds of waiting I start a disharmony exorcism spell. As soon as I start putting power into it. The soul immediately shows itself to me. She appears as a very dark violet mare with a navy blue mane that ripples and moves like smoke. Standing on four legs she is about as tall as me. Walking around her I notice a crescent moon on her butt. "How nice we match." I snark.

"What are you?" She asks.

"My kind are called angles. What are you?" I respond.

"An alicorn, you must be new to this realm. What is your name?" She responds.

"Yes, I just arrived in this realm yesterday, and my name is Jack". After the last word leaves my mouth my mind goes into meltdown. "What no that's not my name I don't know my real name, but I know it's not Jack." I say in confusion. Thinking back I don't know what could of done this to me. Discord didn't have time to do it, and I would have woken up if he got near me in my sleep.

"Oh, I see what happened. You went charging over poison joke."She snarks

"What's poison joke?" I ask.

"A blue plant with large leaves, and several petals sticking out of the center." She grunts. "But what matters is, that I can tell you how to make the cure, for a price." She smiles with jagged teeth.

"Or, I could just wait, for the affect to ware off." I joke.

"If you want my help fixing your mind." She snarled and leaned in. "You will help me make a new vessel." As she says this I wonder how a phantom's breath could stink.

Steeping back I make my proposal. "I will give you two choices. One I will make you a vessel with limited power, you will follow my orders, and if your good I'll leave you the vessel when I leave. The second choice is that I cast that spell again, crippling what little power you have." Folding in my arms across my chest I say. "Will you follow me or challenge me."

The dark pony is seething with hatred. "You would have Nightmare moon follow your insolent orders!" Her voice echo thru the castle. Glaring daggers at me she seems, to think about her options, before she finally accepts. "Challenging you would be foolish. So be it, I will follow you." She grumbles.

I smile relaxing, and starching my wings out to my sides. Nightmare moon gives my large wings a puzzled look, as if she hadn't noticed them before. "Alright, it's good to have you on the team." I bellow, "Do you know were the source of the harmonic magic is coming from?" I ask.

"It's in a cave not far from here. The stairs by the bridge, will take you there." She replies, "Why does it mater to you?" she asks.

"I will use that magic to help me make a vessel." I answer as I walk to the door.

"Try not to get turned into a statue, by the tree of harmony." She snarks.

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Walking from the front door of the old castle, I take to the air flying past the bridge, I then see some stairs going down into the gorge. Looking into the gorge I see a cave entrance, I fly to the entrance and step inside the cave.

In the cave, I find a jagged looking crystal tree, with many symbols adoring it, my eyes linger on the blue balloon the longest.

Walking up to the tree, I put my hand to the trunk, to get a better idea of what it is. I then feel a force called soul gravitas. This is no tree it's a god I relies. Stumbling backwards I fall down on my butt. I then hear a voice in my mind sounding like, an old grandmother, but also strong, royal, and magnanimous.

"Well, hello there little one, I so rarely get visitors. Would you like to have a seat?" A crystal chair grows out of the ground in front of the tree/god.

I stand back up looking to the new chair. Thinking to myself why not I walk over, and sit down. Clearing my throat I then speak up. "So, you're a god." I proclaim.

"No, I am a tree but you can call me a god, if you want to."

"I came here planning, to use the harmony magic here, to make a vessel, for Nightmare moon." I confess, "Would you be o.k. with me doing that?" I ask.

The tree glows, colors begin to flicker in balls, that hang from the branches.

"It's not often that I'm surprised, but your honesty does so regardless."

"It's considered a very foolish sin among angel's to lie to a god, however feeding on harmony is an unforgivable sin, which didn't stop me." I look to the ground my millenniums old, transgression still giving me grief.

"Yes, it would be rather foolish to lie to me. I know of your agreement with Luna's other half, and I believe you have the potential, to accomplish a greater harmony with her. I will there for, help you in making a vessel."

With the tree of harmony's help. What would have taken me days to do, we did in a hour. The little black Alicorn filly was rather adorable too. I figured the night would have to earn my trust, before she got to be a mare.

"Kokabel, you must go to Ponyville, and get food for the vessel."

"Um, I don't know after my last time there, they might attack me." I speak worriedly.

"When you get to Ponyville, look to the houses one will shimmer. There you will find a pony willing to help you."

"Alright then I'll go," I grumble.

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As I get near Ponyville I cast an invisibility spell. Being careful not to fly near any of the Pegasus I look at over the houses till I see one that shimmers. The home has beige colored roof and walls, with a little well capt garden next to the front door. I fly down to the door, and knock after a minute a mint coat Unicorn mare answers the door.

"You foals better not do that again, or I'll tan your plots!" She screams with anger, and slams the door. After releasing the spell I knock again. The moment I hit the door it burst open and I'm face to muzzle, with an irate pony.

At this moment a mare with a beige coat, blue and pink mane show up to my left. "Lyra, what are you doing with that human?" she asks.

"Ahh hay there Bon Bon, this isn't what it looks like." Says the pony who's breath smells of grass, and candy.

"So, you didn't just mistake this winged human for a ding dong ditcher." Bon Bon sing songs. Hearing this Lyra relaxes letting out a breath she was holding in.

"Blaaa Ahhh, what is that smell, sons of Aerial, it's in my mouth." I step back and compose myself. "I was told you would be willing to help me." I say in a nasally voice, fingers clinched over my nose.

"Hay, my breath isn't that bad." She bolts over to Bon Bon, muzzle to muzzle she continues. "My breath doesn't smell that bad right." The beige pony falls to the ground. "O no Bon Bon, what have I done." She says rather melodramatically.

Looking at the scene, it's obvious there playing around, so I decide to join in. I quickly walk over and pick up the fallen pony. "Quickly we most get her inside, to attend our fallen comrade." I say in a heavy accent.

"Yes, we shall bring her to the krovat' follow me." Lyra says in the same accent, while making a dramatic pose on two hooves. Leaning back down she trots inside the house, and I follow holding Bon Bon in my arms.

The house has a sweet smell of candy. The pony in my arms looks up at me, with a questioning look for a few seconds, before closing her eyes and going limp again. As I walk over to the bedroom the green pony carefully walks in, and I continue to follow her. Stepping into the room I see a lyre over by the blue wall, in the center of room there's a bed with pink sheet the carpet is beige. Ponies most like having their stuff match with their color scheme. I place the mare on her bed next to Lyra who snuggles up with her and looks over to me nudging at the other side of the mare with her hoof. The sheer absurdity of what's happening almost makes me burst out laughing, but I hold it in. The bed is a foot short for me but I bend my knees in, and place a wing over the ponies, as I lay down on the bed up against the now red faced pony.

"So, were doing this to keep her warm?" I ask.

"No, I was just wondering how much she would let me get away with." My now favorite pony answers.

"Well, it is rather warm in here. Um when did you meet this human Lyra?" My slightly shaky new cuddle buddy asks.

"O well Sweetie, that would be, hmm about ten minutes ago I think ." My right wing weighs about sixty pounds, it didn't slow her down, she bolted up and out, of the bed like a cannon ball. Me and my new friend looked over to the enraged pony pouting.

"You You aagghhh!" Stuttered Sweetie as she glared at Lyra who was giggling. "Lyra! We can't just get in bed with a complete stranger because he's a human." As she explained I got comfortable sitting with my back against the head board. I haven't had a relationship like this in a long time, and I don't care about my mission now. I just want to have fun. "You!" She says looking into my eyes. "Get out!" The pony is snarling at me, but I can tell she's on the verge of crying.

Standing up I speak my apology as I leave. "Sorry, I got carried away, but I hope you will forgive me." As I walk out side I remember why I came here in the first place. Thinking about it I figure the green pony is most likely going, to come back out after settling down her marefreind. Weighing my options I decide to do one of the more dangerous ones. I sit down by a tree and wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In side the house the battle rages on till Lyra brings out the big guns. "Sweetie, I love you." Lyra says finally bring a small smile to her marefreind.

"Yes, I know but this could have really went bad if" Bon gets interrupted by a storm of words.

"This is this is, my dream you know that plus wings bony wings can you just imagine being held in those strong hands as he flies th. Lyra about passes out having said to much with out breathing in.

"Well, I guess it would save on train fair." She jokes.

"So, I can keep him than." Lyra smiles and does a little dance on her back hooves.

"I won't stop you two from being friends, but I doubt he'll stay around, if you treat him like a pet." Felling like she made her point Bon Bon, goes into the kitchen smiling, to eat a late lunch. "Do you want me, to fix you anything honey? She says from the kitchen.

"Naa, I want to go see what he wanted, if I can still find him, so I might be gone for a few hours." She hollers back into the kitchen.

"Alright, just try to be back by dinner hun." She says while mixing dough.

Trotting out the door she calls back. "See you later sweet flanks" She than shuts the door, before her marefriend can complain about the nick name.

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After three minutes of sitting at the tree a Pegasus pony with a white coat, blue mane and tail, and blue eyes. Trotted up to me, and asked if she could lay down next to me. I approved with a smile, and we snuggled up by the tree.

I was starting to fall asleep when I hear a mare speak up. "Your name is Kokabel right? I was wondering what you need help with." She asks me.

Looking up I notice Lyra. "Yes, I need to gather food for a friend of mine, but I don't have any currency, or knowledge of what would be poisonous in the forest." I tell her while carefully maneuvering away from my buddy.

"Hmm, I have some bits, so I could help you, but It'll cost you." She says licking her lips, pawing the ground with her front hooves, and swaying her hips and tail.

"Um, what exactly do you want." I say with worry thinking the worst.

She starts watching her hoof making a circular motion with her ears down. "I just want a belly rub, or two, or three, or four or ten." Her voice starts out sad but gets progressively happier with each number she calls out.

"That's fine, the only finnier thing would be bribing me, to cuddle with you at night." I joke, bringing my hand up, to cover my smile.

"That sounds good too." She responds happily.

Over the next few hours we collected some groceries, and Lyra followed me back, to the castle.