Bronielands: The Vault Hunterby Look to the leftChaptersCh.1 Humble BeginningsCh.2 Wake up. No seriously wake up. Ch.3 Violent outbursts and Chicken sqeezing.Ch.4 The chapter that took too long to make (Grammer fix, mostly)Ch.1 Humble BeginningsAuthor's Note This is my first ever fanfic so if there any mistakes, please comment it down below. Other than that, enjoy. Ch.1 Humble Beginnings So you want to hear a story, eh? Okay, okay calm down! I'll get to that later, just calm down or no story for you! Oh and before I forget, my name is Octavia: Guns Salemare Xtraordinaire! Octy who are you talking to? And that is my annoying marefriend, Vinyl: Assistant Gun Salemare and "Master of Dubstep". Seriously, Octy who are you talking to? No one, Vinyl, just go back to testing out some guns on that Everfree (Hyperion) soldier we found. Okay sure, but I still think you need to see Doctor Whooves! Yeah, sure whatever. Well anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, I was going to tell you a story! This is the story of a vault hunter, inexperienced and naïve, but full of potential. She traveled to the borderlands in search of the Vault. But what she didn't know was that fate had different plans for her. Sure, she'd still be looking for the Vault like any other Vault Hunter would. But unlike others... She'll be alive to see it. Her story began on the Everfree Train. *Bump* "Ah! My head... STUPID CEILING, I HATE YOU!!!" She shouted at the inanimate object that was the ceiling. "Hey keep it down, I'm trying to sleep here!" shouted the cyan pegasus from the bunk bed below her. Stupid Twilight, way to go and make yourself look like a moron! She thought to herself. A few minutes after she stopped mentally scolding herself, she climbed down the bunk bed and turned to the cyan pegasus. "Look, I'm sorry 'bout that, I've been on edge for a while. My name's Twilight, what yours?" she asked. "Rainbow Dash. Now go away or I'll break your left foreleg." "Good luck with that, my left foreleg is made of steel." "Oh really?" Rainbow opened one of her eyes and saw that it was indeed made out of steel. Where a normal flesh and blood leg should be, instead was a cybernetic leg strong enough to smash concrete. "Never seen that design before, where did you get it?" asked the cyan pegasus with curiosity in her voice. "Made it myself," replied the lavender unicorn with pride in her voice. "Whoa, really?" she said with surprise in her voice. At first, she thought that this young filly was just a moron with no clue of what she got herself into, but maybe there was more to her than she thought. "So how did you lose it?" she asked. "Lose what?" "Your leg." "Oh... I cut it off." "You WHAT!?!?" "With a power saw." "Didn't that hurt or at least, traumatize you!?!?" "No, not really." WOW, this girl is insane... I LIKE THAT! She thought to herself as she looked at the lavender unicorn in a new light. "You know what, forget what I said about you. You're an awesome mare!" she said with a warm smile. "Why thank yo-" Her sentence was cut offed by a loud beep. *Beep* "Hey, Handsome Rabbit here. I just want to say something. Remember what I said about needing your help with finding the Vault. Well, I don't need it. What I do need is that you die here and now. Bye!" *Beep* There was a moment of silence between the two mares. Then the cyan mare smiled psychotically. "Finally some fun!" she said as she got out of bed. "Fun? FUN?!?!?! They're going to kill us!" "So what? We got guns!" "WHAT GUns......." She trailed off as she saw two massive guns digitize on each hoof. "These guns. Hope got some yourself 'cause here they come!" At one end of the train car, two yellow and white robots came into view. Twilight recognized them as Timberbots thanks to her years of engineering class. Rainbow ran forward to them, laughing manically as she shot them with her two guns. *BOOM* Twilight turned around to see two Everfree Stallions at the other end of the train car. One was wielding an Everfree shogun, while the other wore some kind of exosuit. "Surrender now and we will make your death less painful!" said the stallion with the shotgun. "Buck that offer!" said Twilight as she pulled out a revolver. Due to the fact that she has no combat training whatsoever, she randomly shot all six bullets, emptying her gun but only nailing two shots. One was to the face of the stallion with the shotgun. The other went to a certain spot between the hind legs. "GAH!! Oh Faust they don't pay me enough for this!" he fell to the ground face first. "SORRY!" said Twilight. 'What are saying sorry for, they were going kill you!" Twilight turned around and was greeted by the sight of a certain cyan pegasus covered in cuts and bruises, two guns that were still red hot and smoking, and two smoldering piles of metal behind her. "Come on, let's get to the main car and shut this place down!" she said happily. "Wait, how did you know it was the main car?" asked Twilight suspiciously. "Game logic! Since the final boss is always in the tallest tower, it only makes sense that the bad guy behind this is in the main car!" said Rainbow with a smile. "Oh, okay. Just make sure that the princess is IN the castle. " And so, they made their way through several cars and along the way, painted the walls with brain matter and forcefully scrapped every robot that came at them. Rainbow Dash pretty much mowed down everything in her path: Timberbots, enemy mares and stallions, a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and that one fellow who can't tell where the bullets come out of his gun and killed himself before Rainbow did. Twilight, not so much. Due to her inexperience, she just kept randomly shooting her gun, missing most of the time and only nailing a few shots every now and then. After using up about 99.99% of the ammo she had, she simply lost it. "You know what!?!? Buck shooting. SUPER AWESOME ROBOT TIME!!!" Her cybernetic limb glowed a blue light and out of thin air, a Purple and Green Robot appeared. "GET 'EM DEATHSPIKE!" The robot who was named Deathspike floated past Rainbow Dash and started ripping apart his master's enemies. Rainbow Dash could only watch with her jaw on the floor as Deathspike sliced a Timberbot in half with ease, melted one poor mare's face with a laser and finished off all the remaining foes with a clap. Sure that may not sound like much but the thing is, he clapped so hard that everything around him exploded. Yes, his most powerful attack is an exploding clap, now on with story. Rainbow took a few moments to process what happened. Finally she spoke. "That. Was. AWESOME! Girl, you've been holding out on me!" " Why, thank you for the compliment." She said with pride in her voice. "I made him for a science fair." "Wait. So let me get this straight, you made a robot that can outmatch a military grade drone, shoots lasers out of it's own face and can unleash an exploding clap of awesomeness just so you can win first place in a science fair?" asked the cyan mare half-amused and half-disturbed. "Well, he was originally meant to put bullies in their place," she said with embarrassment. "Sheesh, you got something in for them or something?" "I'd rather not talk about it, please." "Sure. I'm not going to force it out of you, if it makes you uncomfortable," she said with understanding. The two mares continued their parade of carnage, destroying everything in their path. Well, Deathspike was doing most of it and Rainbow was starting to get jealous of him 'cause he was, in her words, getting most of the fun. Soon after a while, Deathspike started crossing his arms and disappeared. "Hey, where did he go?" The cyan mare said with false concern and thought of something along the lines of, Yes he's gone! Now I can start having fun again! "He just ran out of battery. Don't worry, he'll recharge and soon he'll be back, slicing some flanks!" Twilight said, either ignoring her or being completely unaware of the tone Rainbow used. After a few cars later, they neared the main car. Rainbow bucked down the door and jumped into the main car. Twilight attempted to jump in, too, and make a dramatic entrance, but only ended up with having her face flattened against the floor. As she looked up from her epic fail, she was greeted with the sight of a robot bunny and 30 tons of dynamite. The robot bunny spoke. "It's cute that you think that you're the hero of this little adventure, but you're not. Welcome to Equestria, kiddos." Soon, everything went black. Ch.2 Wake up. No seriously wake up. Ch.2 Wake up. No seriously wake up. "Hey, loser, wake up, we don't have all day!" said a feminine voice. "No mom, the monkey pirates haven't arrive to steal our donuts." Twilight said in her sleep. "Oh for crying out loud!" the small robot grabbed a large shovel and smashed it over the unicorn's head. She didn't even flinch, as the shovel itself, collapsed upon itself and fell in several pieces. The lavender pony just continued sleeping, even as her own nose was bleeding in large doses. "Was that even necessary, Diamond Tiara?" said another voice, but more posh and with a canterlot accent. "I mean, you just swung a rather large shovel at the young mare's face for Faust's sake!" "At this rate, this sleepy head here can sleep inside a volcano for all I know." Replied the small robot that was named, Diamond Tiara. "Looks likes we got no choice. Use that royal canterlot voice thingy Fat Flank." "Please, stop with these horrid names or I shall rip you apart and reutilize your remains as a toilet." Despite her threat, however, she walked up to the unicorn mare and unleashed the canterlot voice. "I HAS ALL THE CHEEZBURGURZ!" "CHEESEBURGER! WHERE!" said an exited mare, after she awoke. Twilight looked around and instead saw a midnight blue alicorn in safari attire and a rather interesting light purple claptrap unit with a tiara. But unfortunately, no cheeseburger. "So. No cheeseburgers than." She said with a tinged of disappointment. "Oh, don't worry, we have other food that can satisfy your needs." The blue alicorn said. "But no cheeseburgers." She said, while on the verge of tears. "Great. Now I have to call both of you Fat Flank." "Shut up! You can't Possibly understand the fast food masterpiece that is the cheeseburger!" she shout with a feral tone. "Please, calm down! Diamond get the buck out of here!" she said as she threw the robot out the door. "Gah! My servos!" the robot said as she made contact with the floor. "I am truly sorry for what Diamond said. If it makes you any better, every time I hear her voice, my brain cells explode in the most horrific matter." she said with a kind tone. "Wait why am I here?" suddenly realizing that she was not on the train anymore. "Oh. That. I was wondering when you'll notice this is not your previous location." She said smiling. "Well you see, Diamond Tiara brought you in after she found you in a burning train wreck and while she is snobby and annoying, she's actually quite a noble soul underneath all that metal and circuitry." "Train. Wreck. Wait... RAINBOW DASH!" she said upon realizing the lack of a certain cyan mare. "Oh her? Don't worry she's alive and well. Plus she came along with Diamond Tiara in order to make sure you come here in one piece. Though why she left soon after, I'm not quite sure myself." "Oh." That was all that Twilight could manage out. She wasn't sure how she should feel. On one hand she left Twilight for no apparent reason. On the other she at least she stayed with her to make sure she at least safe. Upon see the unicorn's effort to piece together her feelings, the alicorn sigh and spoke before Twilight can make up her mind ."Before you judge her any farther." The alicorn reach out to her pocket and pulled out an Echo Recorder. "She left this for you so you can at least understand her reason behind this." Twilight took the recorder almost instantly. "Well, mind as well get this over with." She reached out for her pocket so she can get her Echo communicator only to find that her pocket isn't there anymore. "Uh. Where are my clothes?" "Oh. You see, when Diamond Tiara brought you in, you were in terrible condition so I had to initiate medical procedures to get you back in full health." Said the blue alicorn. " However I must say this in other to get it out of my systems, please don't hate me." "Uh. okay?" Said the unicorn mare with an awkward tone. "Actually it's three things. One, you have the most highest pain tolerance I have ever seen. One that rivals the likes of a rock." "Yah. I sort of known that already." "Yes, but do you know that Diamond Tiara smash a shovel in your own face while you were asleep?" "Explains my dream of giving birth to a shovel." Twilight said with a half-amused, half-disturbed tone. "Yes that rather interesting. Maybe I should research the relationship between reality and dream in real time." The alicorn said. "But anyways I'm digressing." The alicorn lifted her right leg, reveling that it was a cybernetic limb like Twilight's. "Secondly, I'm rather jealous of the fact that you made your left leg a cybernetic limb, while I my right leg a cybernetic limb." "So what's so bad about that?" "You see, it prevents me from amusing myself in a way only other mares can." "OH! Oh. So why don't use your other hoof?" "I use that to hold certain material." "Okay." "And thirdly." She started to blush red. Actually scratch that, she started to blush purple. "While you were asleep. I took this as an opportunity to take some rather provocative photos of you." Then a familiar voice came from the other room. "Hey Luna! I finish placing all those pictures of fat flanks number two in your clop box!" "Please forgive me!" Luna begged, "Actually, I'm kind of flattered for some strange reason." Twilight said while blushing. "So your name is Luna?" Luna let out a sigh of relief before answering. "Luna is just my nickname. My real name is Sir Lunalock, minus the "Sir" part mind you, that's just a title." "Wait. Aren't you a mare? Isn't it suppose to be something like Madame or Lady?" "Sir sounds much better than all those titles, made for those who lack a fifth appendage." "Okay, so when can I get back my clothes?" "Actually, right now if you feel well enough." Twilight tried getting of bed and tumbled down to the ground. As she tried to stand her body made a loud grumbling sound. "How long was I out? Because my stomach feels like it's emptier then space." "Two weeks." "TWO WEEKS!" Twilight shouted in Sir Lunalock's face. "Yes, two weeks. Don't worry, we got a food supply that can last fifty years, now get dress and follow me to the kitchen." Twilight immediately started to put all of her clothes on. Soon after she was done, Sir Lunalock led her through the door and into the kitchen. Somewhere in the blizzard. A hooded figure searched the train wreck, looking for any survivors who saw the true face of Handsome Rabbit, metaphorically speaking. Damn it, I can't find any life in this shit hole. She thought to herself. She studied the wreckage carefully and came to a conclusion. These things have been here for quite some time now, nothing can last long in this cold. Then she saw something that caught her eye. A trail of dead Diamond Dogs. All of them filled with so much lead, that you can make a small house out of them. Despite being in layers of snow you can still see the carnage left behind. Whoever survived must have been sturdy enough to shake off an explosion and still have enough energy to destroy an army of Diamond dog. To say she was impressed was an understatement. She was, in a way, terrified by what this pony might be capable of. Maybe if I follow this trail of destruction maybe I'll find the pony who did this. She was about to follow up with her plan until her heard a feral cry. She turned around and saw that a hoard of Diamond Dogs and staring at her from the train wreck. Looks like the Diamond Dogs are using these Train wrecks as a new home. Pinkie, it's your turn now. The pony suddenly twitch her head and the hood fell down, revealing a pink earth pony with a psycho mask. The Diamond Dogs suddenly felt something off about her, like something horrible and twisted took her place. They started to howl, calling more Diamond Dogs. The earth pony simply smiled beneath the mask. Watching as more and more Diamond Dogs came to help their brethren. Finally, the earth pony spoke. "WHO WANTS TO PARTY!" "I can't believe it." Sir Lunalock said, her voice full of shock. "I can't even come up with a snide remark for this." Diamond Tiara said, agreeing in a way. "She ate half of my fifty year food supply." Sir Lunalock said with both awe for the unicorns feat and grief for the fact that her fifty year food supply may not be as "fifty years worth" as she thought. "Whawts tha natter Woona?" Twilight said with her mouth full. Despite her horrid table manners, the blue alicorn mare was too engross in her grief for her food that she simply didn't care. "Oh, nothing my dear Twilight, I'm fine really. Now, will you please excuse me while I process... Certain. Things. Outside. Alone." She quickly trotted to the door. "Is she okay?" "Nah, she'll be fine. I promise. In fact, I remember this one time, she was dating a stallion named Blueblood and she love him with all her heart. That was until she found out that he was cheating on her. She came running back here, crying off her face." "Is she still sad about it?" "Nah, she got over him, right after she went to his house and repainted it with his blood, soon after she declared that she'll never date a stallion again and she became a fillyfooller." "Huh. Well I guess he had it coming." "He sure did Twilight, he sure did." *Bang.* "What was that!?" Twilight said, alarmed. "Horse-guts, the bandits are here! Quick grab a gun!" "But you guys didn't even handed me back my revolver!" "Well boo ho Queen Fat Flanks, use this." Diamond Tiara grabbed an elemental shotgun and threw it to Twilight. Twilight grabbed it with her magic and saw that it was an Everfree shotgun, but it was not the mass produced kind that she was used to. Something about that fact felt off. "Diamond, what is this shotgun?" "It's called the Conference Call. Don't ask." After getting a "not much of an answer" answer, she simply shrugged as she follow Diamond Tiara out through the door. Upon leaving the comforts of Sir Lunalock's house, she felt the cold seeping into her body as she shivered. But unfortunately, there was no time for shivering. Upon arrival, the two mares (do robots have gender?). Well anyways, the two mares arrive and saw that a fire fight has broken between Sir Lunalock and a group of bandits. Sir Lunalock saw her two friend coming in an effort to help her. "TWILIGHT! And Diamond. GET TO COVER!" "Hey guys, look! More target pract-" his sentence was cut off as his head was shot clean through with a bullet. Courtesy of Sir Lunalock. Doing as Sir Lunalock told them. The pair split up and went to cover. Diamond Tiara hid behind a fringe, which for some reason was there, but Diamond didn't question it, seeing as this fringe is also keeping her alive. Twilight used a cardboard as her cover. Both Sir Lunalock and Diamond Tiara raised their eye at her. "What? Cardboard boxes are perfectly good covers in gun fights." One of the female bandits saw the cover Twilight is using and snicker. "Moron." She said, as she aim her rocket launcher at her and fired. The rocket ripped right through the cardboard protection and exploded on contact with Twilight. "TWILIGHT!" Sir Lunalock said. "FAT FLANKS!" Diamond Tiara said. They both watch helplessly, as they saw the mare they nurse so hard back into health, fly through the air and finally landing on the ground with a loud thud. Then, a miracle happened. Twilight starting getting up, shaking off the rocket as if it was just a sponge. "Strange. I don't feel any pain." Sure she can feel her ribs and legs bones are broken but no pain came at all. Plus to make it go up to eleven, she can actually feel her bones realign and heal themselves at an alarming rate. She also notice that her burnt flesh was healing fast, even her fur and clothing are coming back. Sure she can understand fur, but clothes! Seriously! She looked up and saw the mare who shot her with a rocket. Her jaw practically separating from her face. "WHO THE BUCK ARE YOU!" She shouted. Twilight saw the confused state the female bandit was in and took it to her advantage. Twilight looked around for her gun and saw it was not too far from her, around a feet and a quarter far. She looked back to the bandit mare and started charging straight at her, as she ran, her horn glowing and her gun floated to her. It was hard focusing both on running and using her magic at the same time but she didn't care. She wanted to live. The bandit mare had a long time to process what happened, only to suddenly realize that the mare she just attacked is now charging straight at her. She started fumbling with her rocket launcher and manage to reload it, but when she fired it, she was in too much panic to fire it right and so letting Twilight to just barely dodge it. By the time Twilight was within two feet of her, the shotgun manage to catch up with her and she grabbed it, pulling it into the face of the bandit. She didn't even know what happened next as Twilight pulled the trigger causing the bandit to explode in electrical glory. "Stupid bitch, I'll kill you!" Shouted a voice from behind. She turn around and saw a rather large stallion was pointing his Celestial(Torgue) shotgun at her. But before he could fire, he exploded. Turning to the direction the rocket came, she saw that Diamond Tiara shot him, in turn saving Twilight's life. She looked carefully and saw that Diamond Tiara use a Pocket Rocket, Twilight only saw the gun once in a book, but she thought it was just a joke. Twilight's Train of thought was interrupted however, as she saw a second group of bandits. "More incoming!" Sir Lunalock said as she pointed her sniper rifle at the approaching wave of bandits. "Looks like it time for DEATHSPIKE!" Twilight raised her mechanical limb to summon Deathspike, but instead four metal claws extended from her hoof. "Whoa!" Twilight was confused, she didn't install claws in her leg, sure, she thought of installing a hidden shock baton in there but not metal claws of murdering everything in sight. A thought hit her head and she tried thinking of retracting the claws. It worked and this time Twilight tried summoning Deathspike again, but with more focus this time. A familiar blue surrounded her hoof and Deathspike digitize on the battlefield. She felt a bullet enter her right shoulder, but like before, she didn't feel any pain. She looked around and saw the bandit who shot her. "DIE ALREADY, HAHAHAHA!" "This is going to be a long day." Twilight let out a sigh, but than an idea popped into her head and she remember her claws. "Well if I'm going to live with it, I might as have fun with it." After cheering herself up. She ran to the battlefield, shotgun in one hand and metal claws of murdering in the other. "WAIT GUYS! LEAVE SOME FOR ME!" Author's Note Believe it or not this chapter was suppose to be longer, but a problem came up and I forgot to save. FAIL. Anyways, I like to play around with the crossover formula and added my own twist. Now Twilight is Robocop plus Darkman crossed with The Six million dollar man(hint, hint). And yes I made Diamond Tiara as Claptrap that can fight. Cause why not! Also I read the comments and decide to take some of the advice and weave them in the story. I hope you enjoyed it. Btw, on my last chapter I had a proof reader for that so there weren't many mistakes on Chapter one. But here I don't have one at the moment, so if there are any grammar mistakes, please tell me and I will correct them. Ch.3 Violent outbursts and Chicken sqeezing.The entire place was covered in dead bodies, and it was awesome. Twilight never felt this alive before, since the day she took up the mantle of being a Vault Hunter. A bandit charged at her with a sniper rifle for some reason. Shanked. A psycho midget charged at Twilight with dynamite in both hands. She simply threw him away with her magic. Another bandit charged at her. She shot him at point blank range with her shotgun. Turns out, that to makes sure you absolutely hit your target, shot them really, really close. A psycho with a propeller hat was rushing at Twilight, but then suddenly stopped. "WHERE'S THE BATHROOM!" Twilight simply pointed to an outhouse to the right. "THANK YOU!" She ran off, leaving Twilight confused. The last bandit was blown up by Diamond Tiara who for some reason had four cannons, two on each side and a sail on top with a cute little pirate hat. "Hey, Diamond how are you doing that?" "It's my action skill." "Uh, okay." Twilight wasn't sure how to respond to that and she wasn't sure what an action skill is. "Twilight! Are you okay!" Sir Lunalock said, as she ran over to Twilight, remembering that she took a rocket to the back. "I'm not okay. I'm AWESOME!" Twilight exclaimed, as she ran to a nearby brick and slashed it in half. "WOO!" Sir Lunalock looked to Diamond Tiara. The robot gave her a deadpan look(can claptrap units do that?). "Luna, take her inside and talk to her. I'll be outside, watching out for more bandits and looting all the corpses here." Sir Lunalock only sigh. "Twilight, please stop molesting those bricks and come with me inside so we can have something to eat." Twilight dropped the brick that she was harassing and followed Sir Lunalock inside. Leaving the surviving brick to just sit there, traumatize by the lavender pony. "Mow, Woona yorg cooqing iesh graat." Twilight said with her mouth full. "Thanks Twilight, but please talk when your mouth is not full." She swallowed her food down before speaking. "Sorry about that, it's just that ever since the train crash, my stomach is practically a garbage compactor now for some reason." "Actually, that why we're here, to talk about you after the train crash." "Luna, did you do something to me?" Remembering that Sir Lunalock was healing her when she was unconscious. "No, I would never add some sort of genetic or cybernetic enhancement in your body without the owner's permission." "Well that good to know." She said with relief. "well that and I couldn't save you." Sir Lunalock with a straight face. "WHAT!" She was shocked. How could the mare who nursed her back to health say that she couldn't save her. "I know this sound crazy bet let me-" Sir Lunalock failed to finish her sentence as Twilight slammed her into the wall with bloodshot eyes. "HOWCANYOUSAYTHATI'MDEADI'MPRATICLYSTANDINGRIGHTHERERIGHTNOWAREYOUSAYINGTHATI'MDEADORSOMETHINGBECAUSEI'MPRETTYSUREI'MALIVEAND-" Twilight was talking at a rate only rivaled by Pinkie Pie on ten cups of coffee and- wait, did I just break the 4th wall? Oh well, no one really cares about that wall, anyways lets continue the story. Sir Lunalock knew that she going to react to the knowledge with shock, but she didn't know she'll react in such a rage fuelled action. "Please, Twilight calm down I'll explain everything please!" Sir Lunalock pleaded. "WHATAREYOUTALKINGABOUTI'MPERFECTLYCALMI'MPERFECTLYALIVEI'M..... I'm... pressing you against the wall..." Twilight, now realising what she's doing, stop whatever she was doing and dropped on her haunches. "I.. I'm sorry, I... I'm not sure what came over me." "It's okay Twilight, it's understandable, though I never knew you can lash out so violently." This only made Twilight feel more guilty. Upon seeing her mistake Sir Lunalock quickly started explaining her choice of word. " Well, you see, I said I couldn't save you." Upon hearing what Sir Lunalock was actually saying she perked up and started listening. "Go on, I'm listening." "Well you see, another friend of yours save your life." "Wait, was it Diamond Tiara?" "No, if it was her than you'll be more dead then dead, who I was referring to was your friend Rainbow Dash." "Wait, what?!" Twilight was confuse. "Okay, let me start over, seeing as you are only getting more confuse. You see, when Diamond Tiara brought you in, you were in horrible condition and so I brought you in and did my best to save your life, unfortunately you were way passed the point of no return and so I gave up." Twilight knew she was in bad shape, but she didn't knew it was bad to the point of no return. "However, Your friend refused to believe that you were as good as dead and so she threw me out of the room and grabbed every medical cybernetic tool and material she can find and lock herself in your room for the entire day. Me and Diamond thought she was just in denial and we tried reasoning with her, but no responds came and so we gave up on that and thought that if she failed to save you then she'll probably get back to her senses and so we waited until tomorrow." Sir Lunalock pause for a moment to let Twilight process the information. "Continuing the story, when tomorrow came she finally left your room but instead of crying or showing some sort of grief she had a neutral face. She didn't say a word and packed all her stuff, the last thing she did before leaving was giving me an Echo recorder and said it was for you. After she left, me and Diamond went to checked on you and to our surprise you were alive and healthy." After Sir Lunalock finished her story, Twilight was left with a lot to think about and for some reason one of them was a white pegasus with a puffy yellow mane. "Fat Flank! I'm home!" Shouted a voice from across the room. Diamond Tiara had just entered the room and was carrying a large sack full of weapons and next to her was a strangely familiar psycho with a propeller hat. "Uh. Diamond why do you have a psycho with you?" Sir Lunalock asked with worry in her voice. "Shish, will you just calm down, it's not like all my friends are walking apocalypses or something." "Wait, she your friend?" Twilight asked with confusion. "Yap. Turns out, she doesn't like the bandit leader." "HI! I'M SCREWBALL!" The psycho shouted. "Hmm. Say, who is this bandit leader you speak of?" Sir Lunalock asked. "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CHICKEN YOUR SQEEZING!" Screwball said giggling. "Well that plan went out the window." Twilight replied. "Don't worry, I talked o her and she told me everything." Diamond replied to Twilight's reply. "Wait. You can understand crazy?" "Yes Twilight, I can communicate with crazy people, don't ask." "So, Diamond what information did you get?" "Wait let me drop this sack, it killing my servos." The bag drop with a loud thud and several guns fired away. "AHHH!!!" Said Sir Lunalock. "What?" Said Twilight. "OHHH, PRETTY!" Said Screwball. "SORRY!!" Said Diamond Tiara. After fixing the mess Diamond made and medical care was passed around, Diamond started telling everything she got from Screwball. "THEY'RE GOING TO SEND THEIR ENTIRE FORCE AGAIST MY HOUSE!" Sir Lunalock shouted. "Yup." Diamond replied. "WHY!" "From what I heard from Screwball, they're being overrun by Diamond Dogs." "I see..." Sir Lunalock said, calming down. "And Screwball here wants no part in it." 'THE READERS ARE WHATCHING!" Screwball shouted with fear. "So, how come she isn't murdering us right now?" Twilight asked. "She one of the few psychos in the borderlands who retain some form of moral, however they rare to find and people will shot them on sight due to their reputation." Diamond answered. "Huh. Maybe I'll think about that when I come across another psycho. Maybe." Twilight said. Sir Lunalock was in deep thought while everyone else was chatting, finally she spoke. "I guess desperate times call for desperate measures." "Huh?" Twilight and Diamond said. "DONUTS!" Screwball said. "PACK YOUR BAGS GIRLS! WE'RE GOING TO THE LAST SAFE PLACE ON EQUESTRA!" "You don't mean.." "YES DIAMOND! WE'RE GOING TO PONYVILLE!" As Twilight was packed her bag, Diamond Tiara came in. "Hey Robo-pony here's this ECHO communicator you wanted." She threw the device and Twilight caught it with her magic. "Thanks Diamond... You know, saying Diamond all the time is a bit too long. Why don't I just start calling you Diara?" "Whatever Twilight." Diamond or rather Diara said as she left. Twilight looked back at her saddle pack. It contained ammo for her gun, all her building tools and several hundred bits. Sir Lunalock was going to carry food and medical supplies while Diara is going to carry all the weapons that are worth selling. Screwball... Twilight was not sure if she wanted to know. Twilight gave her cybernetic limb a quick glance and notice a lot of subtle changes she never notice before, the metal was more polished and barely any scratches in sight, the design was a lot more slimmer than when she built it and finally she notice a slot in the side of her arm. It was the same size as her ECHO communicator and a thought ran through her head and she inserted the device into the slot. A hud appeared in front of her eyes and several things seem to form. One bar seems like it's the health bar, another is the ammo bar and grenade bar, a map appeared in the top right comer, and finally a target indicator appeared in the middle. Curious, she picked up her shotgun and to her surprise the target indicator seems to follow whatever she was pointing at. Well this is helpful, she thought. She then noticed another slot in her arm that seems to be made for an ECHO recorder. Remembering that Rainbow Dash left one, she plugged in the recorder and it started to download. *BEEP* "Okay is this thing working? Hello? Okay it's working. Hello, Twilight, if your listening to this, then you woke up from your sleep and are probably wondering where I am. Well first off I need to tell you about your new powers before I explain myself. I know that by this time you'll already found out about them and don't ask how I know, just listen okay?" Twilight for some reason felt the need to nod her head. "Okay. So let me get some stuff straight. You are not invincible. Sure you feel no pain and you can regenerate, but the no pain part is a side effect from the surgery and the regeneration is limited, for example: you can heal broken bones and burnt skin but if you lose a limb, say goodbye to that limb." Twilight shrug at the last part, she can always replace it with a new cybernetic limb, right? "Also all the nanobots in the world can't make you immune to fire, slag, explosives and corrosive damage, well you can but you'll need GGCA-423h breed-Military class nanobots, but then you'll to wire frame it to an- AH!!!! RAINBOW! FOCUSE!" Twilight giggle at that part, she never knew Rainbow had a lot in common with herself. "Sorry about that, my egghead side tends to take over when I talk about this kind of stuff, but anyways, shock is the only thing that you can handle in large doses and another side effect is your emotions. The explosion really messed up your brain and it was REALLY hard for me to put it back together and so your now prone to violent outbursts and extreme levels of emotions." She shudder at that part, she remembered her cheeseburger argument and violent outburst with Sir Lunalock. "Now that I got that out of the way, I'll tell you why I left. The thing is, I'm bad luck. Now don't you dare laugh at that, I'm bloody serious lad! Great now I'm slipping into my Scoltish accent! Oh well It feels great to this way, anyways. Now mate. Listen closely 'cause you see I always seem to get anyone around into trouble so I left as I felt like I made it up to you. Look, I'm sorry about the damn explosion, it's my fault your face was blown off and you shoulda never listen to me when I was talking about mah crazy game logic, WHAT WAS I THINKING! This isn't a game, it real life! You get no second chances at it! Anyways, I hate to say this, but I hope to see you somewhere out there in the borderlands mate. Well hope you have a good time Vault Hunting. Bye, so you around." *BEEP* "All ready to go my friends?" Sir Lunalock asked. "Yup, all set Fat Flank." Said Diamond. "I AM THOU AND THOU ART I!" Said Screwball. "READY!" Said Twilight, saluting. "Hey, why is the ECHO communicator in your arm?" Ask Diamond. "Oh, you mean this Diara? Turns out that Rainbow added a slot for a Echo communicator in my arm and now I have a interface in my head!" "Great now you see things I the way I see. Now all you need is a snobby outlook on life and you'll be exactly like me." Diara remark. "Wait, Diara?" Sir Lunalock asked confused. "Oh, that's just a nickname I made for her." Twilight answered. "I think I rather like it" Sir Lunalock said, amused. "Oh shut it you two." Diara said as she started moving. "WAIT FOR US TALKING TRASHCAN!" Screwball said. And so the group trotted into the artic wasteland, in pursuit of the last heaven left on Equestria. The Pink earth pony, still wearing the cloak, watched from the distance as the group started to trot. "Ponyville... Interesting." Author's Note Yup guys. Rainbow Dash is a Scoltish genius! WHO'S THE MAN!!!! Also I'm having trouble figuring out who should be Captain Flynt an so while I try figuring out who he should be, can you guys send me your OCs or ideas if you want. Anyways right now this is the group so far: Twilight the Mechromancer/Robo-Pony Sir Lunalock the Gentleman Sniper Diamond Tiara the Fragtrap Screwball the Noble Psycho. Hope you guys enjoyed. Btw I also had no proof reader for this. Ch.4 The chapter that took too long to make (Grammer fix, mostly)"So... what's the plan?" Twilight asked. "Well... We'll just storm the bandit compound and take back Screwball's fishing boat." Diara simply said. Twilight just stared at Diara's casual explanation. "That's all? I thought we might go in stealthy or make some sort of distraction. I mean, how can we stand up to an entire army of bandits? Also, Screwball has a ship?" "Well, you see, from what Screwball told me, she used to be a fishermare before she got captured and got her mind shattered." Diara said with a sad tone. "During her time as a psycho, she found out that on certain weeks, the ice breaks, causing the base to split up by the large gap in the ice. Dividing the forces and making them weaker. Making an assault easier." "Huh, that makes lots of sense, but that means we have a limited window of time before the ice freezes over and solidifies." "Yup, so we have to make this one count." Diara said. "Huh." Twilight simply says. She was thinking about Diara's plan of how they're going to storm the bandit compound, but in that time she also thought about whole load of other stuff. Why in the world does Rainbow have a Scoltish accent? she thought. She remembered that during world war 16 that a group of scientist in a country called Scoltland on the planet Earth. They were working on experimental cybernetics and laid the ground works for all cybernetics, of course Rainbow couldn't be one of those scientist since that war happened about 4000 years ago. Anypony couldn't live that long, except maybe alicorns. She also remembered that is was that certain world war that Earth was forced to evacuated due to all the nuclear radiation. Actually, now that she thought about it. How can a planet last 16 entire world wars. In fact how did they manage not to screw themselves after world war 10 or even world war 1 in fact. She then remember that during that war, it the time cybernetic soldiers were introduced. Even on their primitive level of tech there designs aren't that different from Twilight's cybernetic arm after Rainbow approve it. All evidence are pointing to Rainbow Dash being from an era where a planet truly screw itself over, but it makes no sense, she couldn't be from that era since cybernetics weren't advance enough to extend life and it wound contradict the Scoltland, Lab-101 massacre, an event where several enemy soldier stormed the compound and killed everypony that was there: staff, guards, test subjects, scientist, and even young fillies were killed since during that day was also Bring your daughter to possibly dangerous work day, quite ironic really. But then suddenly, Twilight reliased something, Wait, how did I know all that? She then realized that she was pulling information from a data box, which aparently is one of the many things that Rainbow installed. Are you bucking with me!?!? Unfortunetly, a note poped out which both confused and enraged the living hell out of Twilight. Yes Twilight, I am bucking with you. Que the rage. "BUCK YOU RAINBOW! ONCE I FIND YOU, I WILL FORCEFULLY IMPLANT GENITALS BETWEEN YOUR STUPID LEGS SO I CAN KICK IT AFTERWARDS WITH A BOOT MADE OF FIRE!" unfortunetly, all her friends were there when she shouted. "Uh... Twilight are you okay?" Sir Lunalock said with worry. "Uhhhhhhh..." Twilight really wants to crawl inside a cardboard box and live out the rest of her life inside it now, because that's how embarrassed she feels. "Uh... I'm okay?" she forced out a smile. "I'm pretty sure that wearing a boot made out of fire is not the best idea ever." Diara said while rolling her eyes.(Can claptrap units do that?) "WHAT DID I MISS!" Screw Ball came out of a conveniently placed outhouse, fortunetly missing the rage/sexual theme/insanity filled outburst that has happend. "NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!" Twilight said. "But..." (That's Sir Lunalock by the way). "NOTHING!" Somehow she managed to punch Sir Lunalock in the face in the process, but no one actually knows how that happend, not even Look to the Left knows how that happend. "Ow! Why did you do that?" "Uh...." This was going to be a long day. In some random bandit's base. "OH MY FAUST! RUN FOR YOUR- GAH!!!!" He never quite finish that sentence as a sword entered the back of his neck and out his mouth and with quick motion the ninja decapitated the bandit with the lower jaw still attached to the body. "SHOOT HER! SHOOT HER!!!!!" One mare said while holding her Celestial shotgun Backwards. "Um... I think your gun is backwards..." "SHUT UP!" She then brew herself up. "HOLY SHIT! SHE KILLED HER!" "But... She killed hersel-" "SHUT UP" He brought out a F&F(Flim and Flam- S&S Munition) Smg and started fireing. "Oh well..." With quick motion she quickly cut all the bullets midair. "BUCK!" He kept fireing his gun in hopes that she will tire. But unfortunetly the pink haired ninja was too good for that. She took out a grenade from her pocket and threw it at the bandit. "GRENADE!" he quickly stoped fireing and ran to cover, with his back turned, the pink haired ninja threw out a hologram disc and turned invisible. "HA! I GOT YOU NOW!" he started fireing at the hologram unaware that the real ninja is already behind him. "BUCK! WHY WON'T YOU DIE ALREADY!" "Your life is forfiet/Um... If that's okay with you/You had it coming." "Wha- GAH!!!!!!!!" "Well that was intense..." Twilight said while panting. "Yes, it was... intresting..." Sir Lunalock replied. While the two mares were busy, panting on the ground, a psycho and a robot were in the background watching everything. "WAFFLES SHALL BE MURDERED WITH LEMONADE! (Hey Diara, what just happend?)" "How am I suppose to know how they went from hoof-fighting to poker to Rock, Rock, Rock to making out? I'm even sure if the author knew how all this happend!" "REASONS! REASONS EVERYWHERE! (I know, right? Also, who the buck calls themselves Look to the left? Is he stupid or something?)" "I don't know, maybe h-" "WAIT! STOP JUST FOR A SECOND!" The two mares turn around and saw what looked like a mare wearing detective clothing. " *pant* *pant* Okay lets get one thing straight. Did I just got you guys to call me stupid?" "Uh... yah, why?" "BUCKING DAMNIT! AGHHH!!!!!!" the mare ragingly ran into the sunset, never to be seen again, maybe. "URANUS IS NOW CONSIDERED TO NOT BE A PLANET ANYMORE! (Wait... was that Look to the left? And why is he a she?.)" "I have no idea..." I really need to stop staring at that sexy plot. Unfortunetly, she can't. Even since the incident, she started seeing Sir Lunalock in a new light. Okay Twilight just calm down now, just take one more photo of her sexy plot and add it to the folder you totally did not make for pictures of Luna's plot and maybe now you can stop staring at it. "It seems that we are here." Twilight immeadiately stop what she was going to do and look at the structure in front of her. In front of Twilight was a fort that consist of everything you can think of. Trains, cars, flat screens, beds and even some corpses here and there. By the entrance, there is a sign that says "Stay out. No seriously, just stay out." True to Diara's words. There were what seems to be islands with buildings on them, surrounded by massive bodies of waters just to the left of the fort, she reliase that if the water was frozen again then the fort it self would be massive and that was a scary thought. They were about to enter when Twilight and Diara just halted in there track. "Twilight, why are you, and Diara stopping?" "I think I'm picking up a signal." "Huh, you too?" *Beep* "Hey Vault Hunter. Remember what I said back on the train? The part where I said that I need you dead? Yes. That. You see that problem here? The problem is you vault hunter. You aren't medsdafgHABFUYFYDITRFVYDETBBDDHNHC754764756324KJ" What. "AH! Stupid translator! I knew I should have upgraded to Orange 77! Well anyways, as I was saying I needed you dead and your not dead. Soooooooo I guess this is the part where I, the hero, uses his charming wits to out smart your villainess ass." *Beep* Well this is bad. "Oh crud" Diara said. "Diara is something wro-" *SCREECH* "Handsome Rabbit here, announcing a bounty for a Vault Hunter in the Iceburg area for about 100000000000000 bits. Okay bye!" *SCREECH* "That's what's wrong." Diara said. *SCREECH* "HOLY SHIT! LOOK AT ALL THEM BITS BOYS! LET BUCKING KILL 'EM ALL! WOAH!" *SCREECH* "Longhorn! Oh not that guy again!" "You know him Diara?" Twilight asked. "Yea... He has a thing agaisnt clap trap units... aghhhhh..." "LOOK WHAT WE GOT HERE!" a voice said. They turn to the source of the voice and found that it was a psycho midget. "FRESH MEAT!!!" More bandits came. "MONEY!" "TARGET PRACTICE!" "LEAD HOLDERS!" "DOSH!" "Looks like we got no choice then girls." Sir Lunalock said as she loaded her sniper rifle. "FOR THE SAKE OF STORY DEVELOPMENT!" Screwball casual said. The bandits open fire. Sir Lunalock ran and hid behind a wall of ice. Screwball pulled out dynamite from her saddlebag and started throwing them while singing YMCA. Diara was wearing a wizard hat for some reason and started talking some weird stuff like "I cast haste on your gun! MAGIC BULLETS!" Twilight was practically a walking apocalypse. Thanks to a combination of Deathspike, somewhat better shooting and shanking. "I THINK I'M DEVOLOPING A GOD COMPLEX AND I LIKE IT!" She shouted. "I don't think that's healthy at all!" Sir Lunalock shouted from her cover. "I DON'T CARE!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HA HAHAHAH ah... ah... ah..." "Done yet?" "No wait, I still have more. *AHEM* AHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHHAHAHHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH HA HA HA ah... Okay now now I'm done." "Good." They continue to advanced through the waves of cannon fodders and badasses until they manage to make it to a bridge. "Get across the bridge quick! I'll fly over there and provide cover!" Sir Lunalock shouted as she flew over the chasm. "Why don't you just fly us over?" Diara said. "NO TIME FOR PIGGYBACK!" "Lazy flank" Diara said while deadpanned (can claptrap units do that?). "QUICK! PURPLE HORN HORSE THINGY! ON MY BACK! NOW!" Screwball said. "But I'm lavend-!" She didn't finish her sentence as Screwball practically threw her up in the air and caught her mid flight on her back as she ran to the other end of the bridge. "DID EVERYBODY FORGET ABOUT ME!" Diara shouted. "I DIDN'T!" Diara turn around and saw a badass nomad running straight at her at full speed. "Oh crud..." The badass nomad punted Diara across the entire bridge and over a door at a fork just beyond the bridge. "DIARA, ARE PANCAKE KILLING THE QUEEN OF SPICY TOAST ALREADY! (Diara! Are you okay girl! You just got punted over that door!)" "Yah... I think I'll be alright over here." "Okay. Hmmmmm. This path seems to split into two... If we start following them, maybe we'll cross paths on the way! Come on guys let go!" Sir Lunalock said. Twilight just shrug while Screwball... Hey where did she go? "HELLO! (Sup)" "AH! Screwball! How did you get here!" "THIS CHAPTER TOOK TOO LONG TO MAKE! (I dynamite jumped.)" "See Diara! Your nice psycho friend is there to keep you company! Come on Twilight! LETS GO!" "Wait! Luna come back! You could've just fly over the door and pick me up! Luna? Luna you there? Damn you Luna and your short attention span! Wait... Screwball, can't you just do that dynamite jump thing again?" "IN MY OPINION! SEASON 20 WAS THE BEST! (Sorry Diara, ran out of dynamite.)" To make her point. She took off her saddlebag and turn it upsidedown: out came a block of cheese, boat keys, extra propellers for her propeller hat and a StarSwirl(Maliwan) revolver called the Madjack. But no dynamite."CHEESE! (Hey, don't get all sad now. I know a place here that is filled to the brim with explosive weapons.)" While disappointed in the fact that she now has to go with Luna's unnecessary plan. She has quite the weakspot for explosive weapons. "Huh... Maybe this isn't such a bad thing after all. Lead the way!" Author's Note Hey guys I just realiased something. I was wondering if you guys think of Diara In Diamond Tiara's voice or claptrap, so maybe if you comment, at the end of that comment type 1 for Clap trap's voice or 2 for Diamond Tiara's voice. Also who's this pink haired ninja? I don't know anything about her so stop asking question! Also, thanks to Long Horn for letting me use his oc Long Horn (Yea it's confusing). Unfortunetly my proof reader is not available and giantfunnyshark15, a nice guy who offered to proof read, coundn't because we can't figure out how to let someone view unpublished chapters(Slry, this needs to be fixed and made less confusing) so sorry again for any grammer mistakes making you rip out your hair in rage for such poor writing. Hope you enjoy!
Ch.1 Humble BeginningsAuthor's Note This is my first ever fanfic so if there any mistakes, please comment it down below. Other than that, enjoy. Ch.1 Humble Beginnings So you want to hear a story, eh? Okay, okay calm down! I'll get to that later, just calm down or no story for you! Oh and before I forget, my name is Octavia: Guns Salemare Xtraordinaire! Octy who are you talking to? And that is my annoying marefriend, Vinyl: Assistant Gun Salemare and "Master of Dubstep". Seriously, Octy who are you talking to? No one, Vinyl, just go back to testing out some guns on that Everfree (Hyperion) soldier we found. Okay sure, but I still think you need to see Doctor Whooves! Yeah, sure whatever. Well anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, I was going to tell you a story! This is the story of a vault hunter, inexperienced and naïve, but full of potential. She traveled to the borderlands in search of the Vault. But what she didn't know was that fate had different plans for her. Sure, she'd still be looking for the Vault like any other Vault Hunter would. But unlike others... She'll be alive to see it. Her story began on the Everfree Train. *Bump* "Ah! My head... STUPID CEILING, I HATE YOU!!!" She shouted at the inanimate object that was the ceiling. "Hey keep it down, I'm trying to sleep here!" shouted the cyan pegasus from the bunk bed below her. Stupid Twilight, way to go and make yourself look like a moron! She thought to herself. A few minutes after she stopped mentally scolding herself, she climbed down the bunk bed and turned to the cyan pegasus. "Look, I'm sorry 'bout that, I've been on edge for a while. My name's Twilight, what yours?" she asked. "Rainbow Dash. Now go away or I'll break your left foreleg." "Good luck with that, my left foreleg is made of steel." "Oh really?" Rainbow opened one of her eyes and saw that it was indeed made out of steel. Where a normal flesh and blood leg should be, instead was a cybernetic leg strong enough to smash concrete. "Never seen that design before, where did you get it?" asked the cyan pegasus with curiosity in her voice. "Made it myself," replied the lavender unicorn with pride in her voice. "Whoa, really?" she said with surprise in her voice. At first, she thought that this young filly was just a moron with no clue of what she got herself into, but maybe there was more to her than she thought. "So how did you lose it?" she asked. "Lose what?" "Your leg." "Oh... I cut it off." "You WHAT!?!?" "With a power saw." "Didn't that hurt or at least, traumatize you!?!?" "No, not really." WOW, this girl is insane... I LIKE THAT! She thought to herself as she looked at the lavender unicorn in a new light. "You know what, forget what I said about you. You're an awesome mare!" she said with a warm smile. "Why thank yo-" Her sentence was cut offed by a loud beep. *Beep* "Hey, Handsome Rabbit here. I just want to say something. Remember what I said about needing your help with finding the Vault. Well, I don't need it. What I do need is that you die here and now. Bye!" *Beep* There was a moment of silence between the two mares. Then the cyan mare smiled psychotically. "Finally some fun!" she said as she got out of bed. "Fun? FUN?!?!?! They're going to kill us!" "So what? We got guns!" "WHAT GUns......." She trailed off as she saw two massive guns digitize on each hoof. "These guns. Hope got some yourself 'cause here they come!" At one end of the train car, two yellow and white robots came into view. Twilight recognized them as Timberbots thanks to her years of engineering class. Rainbow ran forward to them, laughing manically as she shot them with her two guns. *BOOM* Twilight turned around to see two Everfree Stallions at the other end of the train car. One was wielding an Everfree shogun, while the other wore some kind of exosuit. "Surrender now and we will make your death less painful!" said the stallion with the shotgun. "Buck that offer!" said Twilight as she pulled out a revolver. Due to the fact that she has no combat training whatsoever, she randomly shot all six bullets, emptying her gun but only nailing two shots. One was to the face of the stallion with the shotgun. The other went to a certain spot between the hind legs. "GAH!! Oh Faust they don't pay me enough for this!" he fell to the ground face first. "SORRY!" said Twilight. 'What are saying sorry for, they were going kill you!" Twilight turned around and was greeted by the sight of a certain cyan pegasus covered in cuts and bruises, two guns that were still red hot and smoking, and two smoldering piles of metal behind her. "Come on, let's get to the main car and shut this place down!" she said happily. "Wait, how did you know it was the main car?" asked Twilight suspiciously. "Game logic! Since the final boss is always in the tallest tower, it only makes sense that the bad guy behind this is in the main car!" said Rainbow with a smile. "Oh, okay. Just make sure that the princess is IN the castle. " And so, they made their way through several cars and along the way, painted the walls with brain matter and forcefully scrapped every robot that came at them. Rainbow Dash pretty much mowed down everything in her path: Timberbots, enemy mares and stallions, a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and that one fellow who can't tell where the bullets come out of his gun and killed himself before Rainbow did. Twilight, not so much. Due to her inexperience, she just kept randomly shooting her gun, missing most of the time and only nailing a few shots every now and then. After using up about 99.99% of the ammo she had, she simply lost it. "You know what!?!? Buck shooting. SUPER AWESOME ROBOT TIME!!!" Her cybernetic limb glowed a blue light and out of thin air, a Purple and Green Robot appeared. "GET 'EM DEATHSPIKE!" The robot who was named Deathspike floated past Rainbow Dash and started ripping apart his master's enemies. Rainbow Dash could only watch with her jaw on the floor as Deathspike sliced a Timberbot in half with ease, melted one poor mare's face with a laser and finished off all the remaining foes with a clap. Sure that may not sound like much but the thing is, he clapped so hard that everything around him exploded. Yes, his most powerful attack is an exploding clap, now on with story. Rainbow took a few moments to process what happened. Finally she spoke. "That. Was. AWESOME! Girl, you've been holding out on me!" " Why, thank you for the compliment." She said with pride in her voice. "I made him for a science fair." "Wait. So let me get this straight, you made a robot that can outmatch a military grade drone, shoots lasers out of it's own face and can unleash an exploding clap of awesomeness just so you can win first place in a science fair?" asked the cyan mare half-amused and half-disturbed. "Well, he was originally meant to put bullies in their place," she said with embarrassment. "Sheesh, you got something in for them or something?" "I'd rather not talk about it, please." "Sure. I'm not going to force it out of you, if it makes you uncomfortable," she said with understanding. The two mares continued their parade of carnage, destroying everything in their path. Well, Deathspike was doing most of it and Rainbow was starting to get jealous of him 'cause he was, in her words, getting most of the fun. Soon after a while, Deathspike started crossing his arms and disappeared. "Hey, where did he go?" The cyan mare said with false concern and thought of something along the lines of, Yes he's gone! Now I can start having fun again! "He just ran out of battery. Don't worry, he'll recharge and soon he'll be back, slicing some flanks!" Twilight said, either ignoring her or being completely unaware of the tone Rainbow used. After a few cars later, they neared the main car. Rainbow bucked down the door and jumped into the main car. Twilight attempted to jump in, too, and make a dramatic entrance, but only ended up with having her face flattened against the floor. As she looked up from her epic fail, she was greeted with the sight of a robot bunny and 30 tons of dynamite. The robot bunny spoke. "It's cute that you think that you're the hero of this little adventure, but you're not. Welcome to Equestria, kiddos." Soon, everything went black.
Ch.2 Wake up. No seriously wake up. Ch.2 Wake up. No seriously wake up. "Hey, loser, wake up, we don't have all day!" said a feminine voice. "No mom, the monkey pirates haven't arrive to steal our donuts." Twilight said in her sleep. "Oh for crying out loud!" the small robot grabbed a large shovel and smashed it over the unicorn's head. She didn't even flinch, as the shovel itself, collapsed upon itself and fell in several pieces. The lavender pony just continued sleeping, even as her own nose was bleeding in large doses. "Was that even necessary, Diamond Tiara?" said another voice, but more posh and with a canterlot accent. "I mean, you just swung a rather large shovel at the young mare's face for Faust's sake!" "At this rate, this sleepy head here can sleep inside a volcano for all I know." Replied the small robot that was named, Diamond Tiara. "Looks likes we got no choice. Use that royal canterlot voice thingy Fat Flank." "Please, stop with these horrid names or I shall rip you apart and reutilize your remains as a toilet." Despite her threat, however, she walked up to the unicorn mare and unleashed the canterlot voice. "I HAS ALL THE CHEEZBURGURZ!" "CHEESEBURGER! WHERE!" said an exited mare, after she awoke. Twilight looked around and instead saw a midnight blue alicorn in safari attire and a rather interesting light purple claptrap unit with a tiara. But unfortunately, no cheeseburger. "So. No cheeseburgers than." She said with a tinged of disappointment. "Oh, don't worry, we have other food that can satisfy your needs." The blue alicorn said. "But no cheeseburgers." She said, while on the verge of tears. "Great. Now I have to call both of you Fat Flank." "Shut up! You can't Possibly understand the fast food masterpiece that is the cheeseburger!" she shout with a feral tone. "Please, calm down! Diamond get the buck out of here!" she said as she threw the robot out the door. "Gah! My servos!" the robot said as she made contact with the floor. "I am truly sorry for what Diamond said. If it makes you any better, every time I hear her voice, my brain cells explode in the most horrific matter." she said with a kind tone. "Wait why am I here?" suddenly realizing that she was not on the train anymore. "Oh. That. I was wondering when you'll notice this is not your previous location." She said smiling. "Well you see, Diamond Tiara brought you in after she found you in a burning train wreck and while she is snobby and annoying, she's actually quite a noble soul underneath all that metal and circuitry." "Train. Wreck. Wait... RAINBOW DASH!" she said upon realizing the lack of a certain cyan mare. "Oh her? Don't worry she's alive and well. Plus she came along with Diamond Tiara in order to make sure you come here in one piece. Though why she left soon after, I'm not quite sure myself." "Oh." That was all that Twilight could manage out. She wasn't sure how she should feel. On one hand she left Twilight for no apparent reason. On the other she at least she stayed with her to make sure she at least safe. Upon see the unicorn's effort to piece together her feelings, the alicorn sigh and spoke before Twilight can make up her mind ."Before you judge her any farther." The alicorn reach out to her pocket and pulled out an Echo Recorder. "She left this for you so you can at least understand her reason behind this." Twilight took the recorder almost instantly. "Well, mind as well get this over with." She reached out for her pocket so she can get her Echo communicator only to find that her pocket isn't there anymore. "Uh. Where are my clothes?" "Oh. You see, when Diamond Tiara brought you in, you were in terrible condition so I had to initiate medical procedures to get you back in full health." Said the blue alicorn. " However I must say this in other to get it out of my systems, please don't hate me." "Uh. okay?" Said the unicorn mare with an awkward tone. "Actually it's three things. One, you have the most highest pain tolerance I have ever seen. One that rivals the likes of a rock." "Yah. I sort of known that already." "Yes, but do you know that Diamond Tiara smash a shovel in your own face while you were asleep?" "Explains my dream of giving birth to a shovel." Twilight said with a half-amused, half-disturbed tone. "Yes that rather interesting. Maybe I should research the relationship between reality and dream in real time." The alicorn said. "But anyways I'm digressing." The alicorn lifted her right leg, reveling that it was a cybernetic limb like Twilight's. "Secondly, I'm rather jealous of the fact that you made your left leg a cybernetic limb, while I my right leg a cybernetic limb." "So what's so bad about that?" "You see, it prevents me from amusing myself in a way only other mares can." "OH! Oh. So why don't use your other hoof?" "I use that to hold certain material." "Okay." "And thirdly." She started to blush red. Actually scratch that, she started to blush purple. "While you were asleep. I took this as an opportunity to take some rather provocative photos of you." Then a familiar voice came from the other room. "Hey Luna! I finish placing all those pictures of fat flanks number two in your clop box!" "Please forgive me!" Luna begged, "Actually, I'm kind of flattered for some strange reason." Twilight said while blushing. "So your name is Luna?" Luna let out a sigh of relief before answering. "Luna is just my nickname. My real name is Sir Lunalock, minus the "Sir" part mind you, that's just a title." "Wait. Aren't you a mare? Isn't it suppose to be something like Madame or Lady?" "Sir sounds much better than all those titles, made for those who lack a fifth appendage." "Okay, so when can I get back my clothes?" "Actually, right now if you feel well enough." Twilight tried getting of bed and tumbled down to the ground. As she tried to stand her body made a loud grumbling sound. "How long was I out? Because my stomach feels like it's emptier then space." "Two weeks." "TWO WEEKS!" Twilight shouted in Sir Lunalock's face. "Yes, two weeks. Don't worry, we got a food supply that can last fifty years, now get dress and follow me to the kitchen." Twilight immediately started to put all of her clothes on. Soon after she was done, Sir Lunalock led her through the door and into the kitchen. Somewhere in the blizzard. A hooded figure searched the train wreck, looking for any survivors who saw the true face of Handsome Rabbit, metaphorically speaking. Damn it, I can't find any life in this shit hole. She thought to herself. She studied the wreckage carefully and came to a conclusion. These things have been here for quite some time now, nothing can last long in this cold. Then she saw something that caught her eye. A trail of dead Diamond Dogs. All of them filled with so much lead, that you can make a small house out of them. Despite being in layers of snow you can still see the carnage left behind. Whoever survived must have been sturdy enough to shake off an explosion and still have enough energy to destroy an army of Diamond dog. To say she was impressed was an understatement. She was, in a way, terrified by what this pony might be capable of. Maybe if I follow this trail of destruction maybe I'll find the pony who did this. She was about to follow up with her plan until her heard a feral cry. She turned around and saw that a hoard of Diamond Dogs and staring at her from the train wreck. Looks like the Diamond Dogs are using these Train wrecks as a new home. Pinkie, it's your turn now. The pony suddenly twitch her head and the hood fell down, revealing a pink earth pony with a psycho mask. The Diamond Dogs suddenly felt something off about her, like something horrible and twisted took her place. They started to howl, calling more Diamond Dogs. The earth pony simply smiled beneath the mask. Watching as more and more Diamond Dogs came to help their brethren. Finally, the earth pony spoke. "WHO WANTS TO PARTY!" "I can't believe it." Sir Lunalock said, her voice full of shock. "I can't even come up with a snide remark for this." Diamond Tiara said, agreeing in a way. "She ate half of my fifty year food supply." Sir Lunalock said with both awe for the unicorns feat and grief for the fact that her fifty year food supply may not be as "fifty years worth" as she thought. "Whawts tha natter Woona?" Twilight said with her mouth full. Despite her horrid table manners, the blue alicorn mare was too engross in her grief for her food that she simply didn't care. "Oh, nothing my dear Twilight, I'm fine really. Now, will you please excuse me while I process... Certain. Things. Outside. Alone." She quickly trotted to the door. "Is she okay?" "Nah, she'll be fine. I promise. In fact, I remember this one time, she was dating a stallion named Blueblood and she love him with all her heart. That was until she found out that he was cheating on her. She came running back here, crying off her face." "Is she still sad about it?" "Nah, she got over him, right after she went to his house and repainted it with his blood, soon after she declared that she'll never date a stallion again and she became a fillyfooller." "Huh. Well I guess he had it coming." "He sure did Twilight, he sure did." *Bang.* "What was that!?" Twilight said, alarmed. "Horse-guts, the bandits are here! Quick grab a gun!" "But you guys didn't even handed me back my revolver!" "Well boo ho Queen Fat Flanks, use this." Diamond Tiara grabbed an elemental shotgun and threw it to Twilight. Twilight grabbed it with her magic and saw that it was an Everfree shotgun, but it was not the mass produced kind that she was used to. Something about that fact felt off. "Diamond, what is this shotgun?" "It's called the Conference Call. Don't ask." After getting a "not much of an answer" answer, she simply shrugged as she follow Diamond Tiara out through the door. Upon leaving the comforts of Sir Lunalock's house, she felt the cold seeping into her body as she shivered. But unfortunately, there was no time for shivering. Upon arrival, the two mares (do robots have gender?). Well anyways, the two mares arrive and saw that a fire fight has broken between Sir Lunalock and a group of bandits. Sir Lunalock saw her two friend coming in an effort to help her. "TWILIGHT! And Diamond. GET TO COVER!" "Hey guys, look! More target pract-" his sentence was cut off as his head was shot clean through with a bullet. Courtesy of Sir Lunalock. Doing as Sir Lunalock told them. The pair split up and went to cover. Diamond Tiara hid behind a fringe, which for some reason was there, but Diamond didn't question it, seeing as this fringe is also keeping her alive. Twilight used a cardboard as her cover. Both Sir Lunalock and Diamond Tiara raised their eye at her. "What? Cardboard boxes are perfectly good covers in gun fights." One of the female bandits saw the cover Twilight is using and snicker. "Moron." She said, as she aim her rocket launcher at her and fired. The rocket ripped right through the cardboard protection and exploded on contact with Twilight. "TWILIGHT!" Sir Lunalock said. "FAT FLANKS!" Diamond Tiara said. They both watch helplessly, as they saw the mare they nurse so hard back into health, fly through the air and finally landing on the ground with a loud thud. Then, a miracle happened. Twilight starting getting up, shaking off the rocket as if it was just a sponge. "Strange. I don't feel any pain." Sure she can feel her ribs and legs bones are broken but no pain came at all. Plus to make it go up to eleven, she can actually feel her bones realign and heal themselves at an alarming rate. She also notice that her burnt flesh was healing fast, even her fur and clothing are coming back. Sure she can understand fur, but clothes! Seriously! She looked up and saw the mare who shot her with a rocket. Her jaw practically separating from her face. "WHO THE BUCK ARE YOU!" She shouted. Twilight saw the confused state the female bandit was in and took it to her advantage. Twilight looked around for her gun and saw it was not too far from her, around a feet and a quarter far. She looked back to the bandit mare and started charging straight at her, as she ran, her horn glowing and her gun floated to her. It was hard focusing both on running and using her magic at the same time but she didn't care. She wanted to live. The bandit mare had a long time to process what happened, only to suddenly realize that the mare she just attacked is now charging straight at her. She started fumbling with her rocket launcher and manage to reload it, but when she fired it, she was in too much panic to fire it right and so letting Twilight to just barely dodge it. By the time Twilight was within two feet of her, the shotgun manage to catch up with her and she grabbed it, pulling it into the face of the bandit. She didn't even know what happened next as Twilight pulled the trigger causing the bandit to explode in electrical glory. "Stupid bitch, I'll kill you!" Shouted a voice from behind. She turn around and saw a rather large stallion was pointing his Celestial(Torgue) shotgun at her. But before he could fire, he exploded. Turning to the direction the rocket came, she saw that Diamond Tiara shot him, in turn saving Twilight's life. She looked carefully and saw that Diamond Tiara use a Pocket Rocket, Twilight only saw the gun once in a book, but she thought it was just a joke. Twilight's Train of thought was interrupted however, as she saw a second group of bandits. "More incoming!" Sir Lunalock said as she pointed her sniper rifle at the approaching wave of bandits. "Looks like it time for DEATHSPIKE!" Twilight raised her mechanical limb to summon Deathspike, but instead four metal claws extended from her hoof. "Whoa!" Twilight was confused, she didn't install claws in her leg, sure, she thought of installing a hidden shock baton in there but not metal claws of murdering everything in sight. A thought hit her head and she tried thinking of retracting the claws. It worked and this time Twilight tried summoning Deathspike again, but with more focus this time. A familiar blue surrounded her hoof and Deathspike digitize on the battlefield. She felt a bullet enter her right shoulder, but like before, she didn't feel any pain. She looked around and saw the bandit who shot her. "DIE ALREADY, HAHAHAHA!" "This is going to be a long day." Twilight let out a sigh, but than an idea popped into her head and she remember her claws. "Well if I'm going to live with it, I might as have fun with it." After cheering herself up. She ran to the battlefield, shotgun in one hand and metal claws of murdering in the other. "WAIT GUYS! LEAVE SOME FOR ME!" Author's Note Believe it or not this chapter was suppose to be longer, but a problem came up and I forgot to save. FAIL. Anyways, I like to play around with the crossover formula and added my own twist. Now Twilight is Robocop plus Darkman crossed with The Six million dollar man(hint, hint). And yes I made Diamond Tiara as Claptrap that can fight. Cause why not! Also I read the comments and decide to take some of the advice and weave them in the story. I hope you enjoyed it. Btw, on my last chapter I had a proof reader for that so there weren't many mistakes on Chapter one. But here I don't have one at the moment, so if there are any grammar mistakes, please tell me and I will correct them.
Ch.3 Violent outbursts and Chicken sqeezing.The entire place was covered in dead bodies, and it was awesome. Twilight never felt this alive before, since the day she took up the mantle of being a Vault Hunter. A bandit charged at her with a sniper rifle for some reason. Shanked. A psycho midget charged at Twilight with dynamite in both hands. She simply threw him away with her magic. Another bandit charged at her. She shot him at point blank range with her shotgun. Turns out, that to makes sure you absolutely hit your target, shot them really, really close. A psycho with a propeller hat was rushing at Twilight, but then suddenly stopped. "WHERE'S THE BATHROOM!" Twilight simply pointed to an outhouse to the right. "THANK YOU!" She ran off, leaving Twilight confused. The last bandit was blown up by Diamond Tiara who for some reason had four cannons, two on each side and a sail on top with a cute little pirate hat. "Hey, Diamond how are you doing that?" "It's my action skill." "Uh, okay." Twilight wasn't sure how to respond to that and she wasn't sure what an action skill is. "Twilight! Are you okay!" Sir Lunalock said, as she ran over to Twilight, remembering that she took a rocket to the back. "I'm not okay. I'm AWESOME!" Twilight exclaimed, as she ran to a nearby brick and slashed it in half. "WOO!" Sir Lunalock looked to Diamond Tiara. The robot gave her a deadpan look(can claptrap units do that?). "Luna, take her inside and talk to her. I'll be outside, watching out for more bandits and looting all the corpses here." Sir Lunalock only sigh. "Twilight, please stop molesting those bricks and come with me inside so we can have something to eat." Twilight dropped the brick that she was harassing and followed Sir Lunalock inside. Leaving the surviving brick to just sit there, traumatize by the lavender pony. "Mow, Woona yorg cooqing iesh graat." Twilight said with her mouth full. "Thanks Twilight, but please talk when your mouth is not full." She swallowed her food down before speaking. "Sorry about that, it's just that ever since the train crash, my stomach is practically a garbage compactor now for some reason." "Actually, that why we're here, to talk about you after the train crash." "Luna, did you do something to me?" Remembering that Sir Lunalock was healing her when she was unconscious. "No, I would never add some sort of genetic or cybernetic enhancement in your body without the owner's permission." "Well that good to know." She said with relief. "well that and I couldn't save you." Sir Lunalock with a straight face. "WHAT!" She was shocked. How could the mare who nursed her back to health say that she couldn't save her. "I know this sound crazy bet let me-" Sir Lunalock failed to finish her sentence as Twilight slammed her into the wall with bloodshot eyes. "HOWCANYOUSAYTHATI'MDEADI'MPRATICLYSTANDINGRIGHTHERERIGHTNOWAREYOUSAYINGTHATI'MDEADORSOMETHINGBECAUSEI'MPRETTYSUREI'MALIVEAND-" Twilight was talking at a rate only rivaled by Pinkie Pie on ten cups of coffee and- wait, did I just break the 4th wall? Oh well, no one really cares about that wall, anyways lets continue the story. Sir Lunalock knew that she going to react to the knowledge with shock, but she didn't know she'll react in such a rage fuelled action. "Please, Twilight calm down I'll explain everything please!" Sir Lunalock pleaded. "WHATAREYOUTALKINGABOUTI'MPERFECTLYCALMI'MPERFECTLYALIVEI'M..... I'm... pressing you against the wall..." Twilight, now realising what she's doing, stop whatever she was doing and dropped on her haunches. "I.. I'm sorry, I... I'm not sure what came over me." "It's okay Twilight, it's understandable, though I never knew you can lash out so violently." This only made Twilight feel more guilty. Upon seeing her mistake Sir Lunalock quickly started explaining her choice of word. " Well, you see, I said I couldn't save you." Upon hearing what Sir Lunalock was actually saying she perked up and started listening. "Go on, I'm listening." "Well you see, another friend of yours save your life." "Wait, was it Diamond Tiara?" "No, if it was her than you'll be more dead then dead, who I was referring to was your friend Rainbow Dash." "Wait, what?!" Twilight was confuse. "Okay, let me start over, seeing as you are only getting more confuse. You see, when Diamond Tiara brought you in, you were in horrible condition and so I brought you in and did my best to save your life, unfortunately you were way passed the point of no return and so I gave up." Twilight knew she was in bad shape, but she didn't knew it was bad to the point of no return. "However, Your friend refused to believe that you were as good as dead and so she threw me out of the room and grabbed every medical cybernetic tool and material she can find and lock herself in your room for the entire day. Me and Diamond thought she was just in denial and we tried reasoning with her, but no responds came and so we gave up on that and thought that if she failed to save you then she'll probably get back to her senses and so we waited until tomorrow." Sir Lunalock pause for a moment to let Twilight process the information. "Continuing the story, when tomorrow came she finally left your room but instead of crying or showing some sort of grief she had a neutral face. She didn't say a word and packed all her stuff, the last thing she did before leaving was giving me an Echo recorder and said it was for you. After she left, me and Diamond went to checked on you and to our surprise you were alive and healthy." After Sir Lunalock finished her story, Twilight was left with a lot to think about and for some reason one of them was a white pegasus with a puffy yellow mane. "Fat Flank! I'm home!" Shouted a voice from across the room. Diamond Tiara had just entered the room and was carrying a large sack full of weapons and next to her was a strangely familiar psycho with a propeller hat. "Uh. Diamond why do you have a psycho with you?" Sir Lunalock asked with worry in her voice. "Shish, will you just calm down, it's not like all my friends are walking apocalypses or something." "Wait, she your friend?" Twilight asked with confusion. "Yap. Turns out, she doesn't like the bandit leader." "HI! I'M SCREWBALL!" The psycho shouted. "Hmm. Say, who is this bandit leader you speak of?" Sir Lunalock asked. "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CHICKEN YOUR SQEEZING!" Screwball said giggling. "Well that plan went out the window." Twilight replied. "Don't worry, I talked o her and she told me everything." Diamond replied to Twilight's reply. "Wait. You can understand crazy?" "Yes Twilight, I can communicate with crazy people, don't ask." "So, Diamond what information did you get?" "Wait let me drop this sack, it killing my servos." The bag drop with a loud thud and several guns fired away. "AHHH!!!" Said Sir Lunalock. "What?" Said Twilight. "OHHH, PRETTY!" Said Screwball. "SORRY!!" Said Diamond Tiara. After fixing the mess Diamond made and medical care was passed around, Diamond started telling everything she got from Screwball. "THEY'RE GOING TO SEND THEIR ENTIRE FORCE AGAIST MY HOUSE!" Sir Lunalock shouted. "Yup." Diamond replied. "WHY!" "From what I heard from Screwball, they're being overrun by Diamond Dogs." "I see..." Sir Lunalock said, calming down. "And Screwball here wants no part in it." 'THE READERS ARE WHATCHING!" Screwball shouted with fear. "So, how come she isn't murdering us right now?" Twilight asked. "She one of the few psychos in the borderlands who retain some form of moral, however they rare to find and people will shot them on sight due to their reputation." Diamond answered. "Huh. Maybe I'll think about that when I come across another psycho. Maybe." Twilight said. Sir Lunalock was in deep thought while everyone else was chatting, finally she spoke. "I guess desperate times call for desperate measures." "Huh?" Twilight and Diamond said. "DONUTS!" Screwball said. "PACK YOUR BAGS GIRLS! WE'RE GOING TO THE LAST SAFE PLACE ON EQUESTRA!" "You don't mean.." "YES DIAMOND! WE'RE GOING TO PONYVILLE!" As Twilight was packed her bag, Diamond Tiara came in. "Hey Robo-pony here's this ECHO communicator you wanted." She threw the device and Twilight caught it with her magic. "Thanks Diamond... You know, saying Diamond all the time is a bit too long. Why don't I just start calling you Diara?" "Whatever Twilight." Diamond or rather Diara said as she left. Twilight looked back at her saddle pack. It contained ammo for her gun, all her building tools and several hundred bits. Sir Lunalock was going to carry food and medical supplies while Diara is going to carry all the weapons that are worth selling. Screwball... Twilight was not sure if she wanted to know. Twilight gave her cybernetic limb a quick glance and notice a lot of subtle changes she never notice before, the metal was more polished and barely any scratches in sight, the design was a lot more slimmer than when she built it and finally she notice a slot in the side of her arm. It was the same size as her ECHO communicator and a thought ran through her head and she inserted the device into the slot. A hud appeared in front of her eyes and several things seem to form. One bar seems like it's the health bar, another is the ammo bar and grenade bar, a map appeared in the top right comer, and finally a target indicator appeared in the middle. Curious, she picked up her shotgun and to her surprise the target indicator seems to follow whatever she was pointing at. Well this is helpful, she thought. She then noticed another slot in her arm that seems to be made for an ECHO recorder. Remembering that Rainbow Dash left one, she plugged in the recorder and it started to download. *BEEP* "Okay is this thing working? Hello? Okay it's working. Hello, Twilight, if your listening to this, then you woke up from your sleep and are probably wondering where I am. Well first off I need to tell you about your new powers before I explain myself. I know that by this time you'll already found out about them and don't ask how I know, just listen okay?" Twilight for some reason felt the need to nod her head. "Okay. So let me get some stuff straight. You are not invincible. Sure you feel no pain and you can regenerate, but the no pain part is a side effect from the surgery and the regeneration is limited, for example: you can heal broken bones and burnt skin but if you lose a limb, say goodbye to that limb." Twilight shrug at the last part, she can always replace it with a new cybernetic limb, right? "Also all the nanobots in the world can't make you immune to fire, slag, explosives and corrosive damage, well you can but you'll need GGCA-423h breed-Military class nanobots, but then you'll to wire frame it to an- AH!!!! RAINBOW! FOCUSE!" Twilight giggle at that part, she never knew Rainbow had a lot in common with herself. "Sorry about that, my egghead side tends to take over when I talk about this kind of stuff, but anyways, shock is the only thing that you can handle in large doses and another side effect is your emotions. The explosion really messed up your brain and it was REALLY hard for me to put it back together and so your now prone to violent outbursts and extreme levels of emotions." She shudder at that part, she remembered her cheeseburger argument and violent outburst with Sir Lunalock. "Now that I got that out of the way, I'll tell you why I left. The thing is, I'm bad luck. Now don't you dare laugh at that, I'm bloody serious lad! Great now I'm slipping into my Scoltish accent! Oh well It feels great to this way, anyways. Now mate. Listen closely 'cause you see I always seem to get anyone around into trouble so I left as I felt like I made it up to you. Look, I'm sorry about the damn explosion, it's my fault your face was blown off and you shoulda never listen to me when I was talking about mah crazy game logic, WHAT WAS I THINKING! This isn't a game, it real life! You get no second chances at it! Anyways, I hate to say this, but I hope to see you somewhere out there in the borderlands mate. Well hope you have a good time Vault Hunting. Bye, so you around." *BEEP* "All ready to go my friends?" Sir Lunalock asked. "Yup, all set Fat Flank." Said Diamond. "I AM THOU AND THOU ART I!" Said Screwball. "READY!" Said Twilight, saluting. "Hey, why is the ECHO communicator in your arm?" Ask Diamond. "Oh, you mean this Diara? Turns out that Rainbow added a slot for a Echo communicator in my arm and now I have a interface in my head!" "Great now you see things I the way I see. Now all you need is a snobby outlook on life and you'll be exactly like me." Diara remark. "Wait, Diara?" Sir Lunalock asked confused. "Oh, that's just a nickname I made for her." Twilight answered. "I think I rather like it" Sir Lunalock said, amused. "Oh shut it you two." Diara said as she started moving. "WAIT FOR US TALKING TRASHCAN!" Screwball said. And so the group trotted into the artic wasteland, in pursuit of the last heaven left on Equestria. The Pink earth pony, still wearing the cloak, watched from the distance as the group started to trot. "Ponyville... Interesting." Author's Note Yup guys. Rainbow Dash is a Scoltish genius! WHO'S THE MAN!!!! Also I'm having trouble figuring out who should be Captain Flynt an so while I try figuring out who he should be, can you guys send me your OCs or ideas if you want. Anyways right now this is the group so far: Twilight the Mechromancer/Robo-Pony Sir Lunalock the Gentleman Sniper Diamond Tiara the Fragtrap Screwball the Noble Psycho. Hope you guys enjoyed. Btw I also had no proof reader for this.
Ch.4 The chapter that took too long to make (Grammer fix, mostly)"So... what's the plan?" Twilight asked. "Well... We'll just storm the bandit compound and take back Screwball's fishing boat." Diara simply said. Twilight just stared at Diara's casual explanation. "That's all? I thought we might go in stealthy or make some sort of distraction. I mean, how can we stand up to an entire army of bandits? Also, Screwball has a ship?" "Well, you see, from what Screwball told me, she used to be a fishermare before she got captured and got her mind shattered." Diara said with a sad tone. "During her time as a psycho, she found out that on certain weeks, the ice breaks, causing the base to split up by the large gap in the ice. Dividing the forces and making them weaker. Making an assault easier." "Huh, that makes lots of sense, but that means we have a limited window of time before the ice freezes over and solidifies." "Yup, so we have to make this one count." Diara said. "Huh." Twilight simply says. She was thinking about Diara's plan of how they're going to storm the bandit compound, but in that time she also thought about whole load of other stuff. Why in the world does Rainbow have a Scoltish accent? she thought. She remembered that during world war 16 that a group of scientist in a country called Scoltland on the planet Earth. They were working on experimental cybernetics and laid the ground works for all cybernetics, of course Rainbow couldn't be one of those scientist since that war happened about 4000 years ago. Anypony couldn't live that long, except maybe alicorns. She also remembered that is was that certain world war that Earth was forced to evacuated due to all the nuclear radiation. Actually, now that she thought about it. How can a planet last 16 entire world wars. In fact how did they manage not to screw themselves after world war 10 or even world war 1 in fact. She then remember that during that war, it the time cybernetic soldiers were introduced. Even on their primitive level of tech there designs aren't that different from Twilight's cybernetic arm after Rainbow approve it. All evidence are pointing to Rainbow Dash being from an era where a planet truly screw itself over, but it makes no sense, she couldn't be from that era since cybernetics weren't advance enough to extend life and it wound contradict the Scoltland, Lab-101 massacre, an event where several enemy soldier stormed the compound and killed everypony that was there: staff, guards, test subjects, scientist, and even young fillies were killed since during that day was also Bring your daughter to possibly dangerous work day, quite ironic really. But then suddenly, Twilight reliased something, Wait, how did I know all that? She then realized that she was pulling information from a data box, which aparently is one of the many things that Rainbow installed. Are you bucking with me!?!? Unfortunetly, a note poped out which both confused and enraged the living hell out of Twilight. Yes Twilight, I am bucking with you. Que the rage. "BUCK YOU RAINBOW! ONCE I FIND YOU, I WILL FORCEFULLY IMPLANT GENITALS BETWEEN YOUR STUPID LEGS SO I CAN KICK IT AFTERWARDS WITH A BOOT MADE OF FIRE!" unfortunetly, all her friends were there when she shouted. "Uh... Twilight are you okay?" Sir Lunalock said with worry. "Uhhhhhhh..." Twilight really wants to crawl inside a cardboard box and live out the rest of her life inside it now, because that's how embarrassed she feels. "Uh... I'm okay?" she forced out a smile. "I'm pretty sure that wearing a boot made out of fire is not the best idea ever." Diara said while rolling her eyes.(Can claptrap units do that?) "WHAT DID I MISS!" Screw Ball came out of a conveniently placed outhouse, fortunetly missing the rage/sexual theme/insanity filled outburst that has happend. "NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!" Twilight said. "But..." (That's Sir Lunalock by the way). "NOTHING!" Somehow she managed to punch Sir Lunalock in the face in the process, but no one actually knows how that happend, not even Look to the Left knows how that happend. "Ow! Why did you do that?" "Uh...." This was going to be a long day. In some random bandit's base. "OH MY FAUST! RUN FOR YOUR- GAH!!!!" He never quite finish that sentence as a sword entered the back of his neck and out his mouth and with quick motion the ninja decapitated the bandit with the lower jaw still attached to the body. "SHOOT HER! SHOOT HER!!!!!" One mare said while holding her Celestial shotgun Backwards. "Um... I think your gun is backwards..." "SHUT UP!" She then brew herself up. "HOLY SHIT! SHE KILLED HER!" "But... She killed hersel-" "SHUT UP" He brought out a F&F(Flim and Flam- S&S Munition) Smg and started fireing. "Oh well..." With quick motion she quickly cut all the bullets midair. "BUCK!" He kept fireing his gun in hopes that she will tire. But unfortunetly the pink haired ninja was too good for that. She took out a grenade from her pocket and threw it at the bandit. "GRENADE!" he quickly stoped fireing and ran to cover, with his back turned, the pink haired ninja threw out a hologram disc and turned invisible. "HA! I GOT YOU NOW!" he started fireing at the hologram unaware that the real ninja is already behind him. "BUCK! WHY WON'T YOU DIE ALREADY!" "Your life is forfiet/Um... If that's okay with you/You had it coming." "Wha- GAH!!!!!!!!" "Well that was intense..." Twilight said while panting. "Yes, it was... intresting..." Sir Lunalock replied. While the two mares were busy, panting on the ground, a psycho and a robot were in the background watching everything. "WAFFLES SHALL BE MURDERED WITH LEMONADE! (Hey Diara, what just happend?)" "How am I suppose to know how they went from hoof-fighting to poker to Rock, Rock, Rock to making out? I'm even sure if the author knew how all this happend!" "REASONS! REASONS EVERYWHERE! (I know, right? Also, who the buck calls themselves Look to the left? Is he stupid or something?)" "I don't know, maybe h-" "WAIT! STOP JUST FOR A SECOND!" The two mares turn around and saw what looked like a mare wearing detective clothing. " *pant* *pant* Okay lets get one thing straight. Did I just got you guys to call me stupid?" "Uh... yah, why?" "BUCKING DAMNIT! AGHHH!!!!!!" the mare ragingly ran into the sunset, never to be seen again, maybe. "URANUS IS NOW CONSIDERED TO NOT BE A PLANET ANYMORE! (Wait... was that Look to the left? And why is he a she?.)" "I have no idea..." I really need to stop staring at that sexy plot. Unfortunetly, she can't. Even since the incident, she started seeing Sir Lunalock in a new light. Okay Twilight just calm down now, just take one more photo of her sexy plot and add it to the folder you totally did not make for pictures of Luna's plot and maybe now you can stop staring at it. "It seems that we are here." Twilight immeadiately stop what she was going to do and look at the structure in front of her. In front of Twilight was a fort that consist of everything you can think of. Trains, cars, flat screens, beds and even some corpses here and there. By the entrance, there is a sign that says "Stay out. No seriously, just stay out." True to Diara's words. There were what seems to be islands with buildings on them, surrounded by massive bodies of waters just to the left of the fort, she reliase that if the water was frozen again then the fort it self would be massive and that was a scary thought. They were about to enter when Twilight and Diara just halted in there track. "Twilight, why are you, and Diara stopping?" "I think I'm picking up a signal." "Huh, you too?" *Beep* "Hey Vault Hunter. Remember what I said back on the train? The part where I said that I need you dead? Yes. That. You see that problem here? The problem is you vault hunter. You aren't medsdafgHABFUYFYDITRFVYDETBBDDHNHC754764756324KJ" What. "AH! Stupid translator! I knew I should have upgraded to Orange 77! Well anyways, as I was saying I needed you dead and your not dead. Soooooooo I guess this is the part where I, the hero, uses his charming wits to out smart your villainess ass." *Beep* Well this is bad. "Oh crud" Diara said. "Diara is something wro-" *SCREECH* "Handsome Rabbit here, announcing a bounty for a Vault Hunter in the Iceburg area for about 100000000000000 bits. Okay bye!" *SCREECH* "That's what's wrong." Diara said. *SCREECH* "HOLY SHIT! LOOK AT ALL THEM BITS BOYS! LET BUCKING KILL 'EM ALL! WOAH!" *SCREECH* "Longhorn! Oh not that guy again!" "You know him Diara?" Twilight asked. "Yea... He has a thing agaisnt clap trap units... aghhhhh..." "LOOK WHAT WE GOT HERE!" a voice said. They turn to the source of the voice and found that it was a psycho midget. "FRESH MEAT!!!" More bandits came. "MONEY!" "TARGET PRACTICE!" "LEAD HOLDERS!" "DOSH!" "Looks like we got no choice then girls." Sir Lunalock said as she loaded her sniper rifle. "FOR THE SAKE OF STORY DEVELOPMENT!" Screwball casual said. The bandits open fire. Sir Lunalock ran and hid behind a wall of ice. Screwball pulled out dynamite from her saddlebag and started throwing them while singing YMCA. Diara was wearing a wizard hat for some reason and started talking some weird stuff like "I cast haste on your gun! MAGIC BULLETS!" Twilight was practically a walking apocalypse. Thanks to a combination of Deathspike, somewhat better shooting and shanking. "I THINK I'M DEVOLOPING A GOD COMPLEX AND I LIKE IT!" She shouted. "I don't think that's healthy at all!" Sir Lunalock shouted from her cover. "I DON'T CARE!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HA HAHAHAH ah... ah... ah..." "Done yet?" "No wait, I still have more. *AHEM* AHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHHAHAHHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH HA HA HA ah... Okay now now I'm done." "Good." They continue to advanced through the waves of cannon fodders and badasses until they manage to make it to a bridge. "Get across the bridge quick! I'll fly over there and provide cover!" Sir Lunalock shouted as she flew over the chasm. "Why don't you just fly us over?" Diara said. "NO TIME FOR PIGGYBACK!" "Lazy flank" Diara said while deadpanned (can claptrap units do that?). "QUICK! PURPLE HORN HORSE THINGY! ON MY BACK! NOW!" Screwball said. "But I'm lavend-!" She didn't finish her sentence as Screwball practically threw her up in the air and caught her mid flight on her back as she ran to the other end of the bridge. "DID EVERYBODY FORGET ABOUT ME!" Diara shouted. "I DIDN'T!" Diara turn around and saw a badass nomad running straight at her at full speed. "Oh crud..." The badass nomad punted Diara across the entire bridge and over a door at a fork just beyond the bridge. "DIARA, ARE PANCAKE KILLING THE QUEEN OF SPICY TOAST ALREADY! (Diara! Are you okay girl! You just got punted over that door!)" "Yah... I think I'll be alright over here." "Okay. Hmmmmm. This path seems to split into two... If we start following them, maybe we'll cross paths on the way! Come on guys let go!" Sir Lunalock said. Twilight just shrug while Screwball... Hey where did she go? "HELLO! (Sup)" "AH! Screwball! How did you get here!" "THIS CHAPTER TOOK TOO LONG TO MAKE! (I dynamite jumped.)" "See Diara! Your nice psycho friend is there to keep you company! Come on Twilight! LETS GO!" "Wait! Luna come back! You could've just fly over the door and pick me up! Luna? Luna you there? Damn you Luna and your short attention span! Wait... Screwball, can't you just do that dynamite jump thing again?" "IN MY OPINION! SEASON 20 WAS THE BEST! (Sorry Diara, ran out of dynamite.)" To make her point. She took off her saddlebag and turn it upsidedown: out came a block of cheese, boat keys, extra propellers for her propeller hat and a StarSwirl(Maliwan) revolver called the Madjack. But no dynamite."CHEESE! (Hey, don't get all sad now. I know a place here that is filled to the brim with explosive weapons.)" While disappointed in the fact that she now has to go with Luna's unnecessary plan. She has quite the weakspot for explosive weapons. "Huh... Maybe this isn't such a bad thing after all. Lead the way!" Author's Note Hey guys I just realiased something. I was wondering if you guys think of Diara In Diamond Tiara's voice or claptrap, so maybe if you comment, at the end of that comment type 1 for Clap trap's voice or 2 for Diamond Tiara's voice. Also who's this pink haired ninja? I don't know anything about her so stop asking question! Also, thanks to Long Horn for letting me use his oc Long Horn (Yea it's confusing). Unfortunetly my proof reader is not available and giantfunnyshark15, a nice guy who offered to proof read, coundn't because we can't figure out how to let someone view unpublished chapters(Slry, this needs to be fixed and made less confusing) so sorry again for any grammer mistakes making you rip out your hair in rage for such poor writing. Hope you enjoy!
