Ch.2 Wake up. No seriously wake up.

"Hey, loser, wake up, we don't have all day!" said a feminine voice.

"No mom, the monkey pirates haven't arrive to steal our donuts." Twilight said in her sleep.

"Oh for crying out loud!" the small robot grabbed a large shovel and smashed it over the unicorn's head.

She didn't even flinch, as the shovel itself, collapsed upon itself and fell in several pieces. The lavender pony just continued sleeping, even as her own nose was bleeding in large doses.

"Was that even necessary, Diamond Tiara?" said another voice, but more posh and with a canterlot accent. "I mean, you just swung a rather large shovel at the young mare's face for Faust's sake!"

"At this rate, this sleepy head here can sleep inside a volcano for all I know." Replied the small robot that was named, Diamond Tiara. "Looks likes we got no choice. Use that royal canterlot voice thingy Fat Flank."

"Please, stop with these horrid names or I shall rip you apart and reutilize your remains as a toilet." Despite her threat, however, she walked up to the unicorn mare and unleashed the canterlot voice. "I HAS ALL THE CHEEZBURGURZ!"

"CHEESEBURGER! WHERE!" said an exited mare, after she awoke.

Twilight looked around and instead saw a midnight blue alicorn in safari attire and a rather interesting light purple claptrap unit with a tiara. But unfortunately, no cheeseburger.

"So. No cheeseburgers than." She said with a tinged of disappointment.

"Oh, don't worry, we have other food that can satisfy your needs." The blue alicorn said.

"But no cheeseburgers." She said, while on the verge of tears.

"Great. Now I have to call both of you Fat Flank."

"Shut up! You can't Possibly understand the fast food masterpiece that is the cheeseburger!" she shout with a feral tone.

"Please, calm down! Diamond get the buck out of here!" she said as she threw the robot out the door.

"Gah! My servos!" the robot said as she made contact with the floor.

"I am truly sorry for what Diamond said. If it makes you any better, every time I hear her voice, my brain cells explode in the most horrific matter." she said with a kind tone.

"Wait why am I here?" suddenly realizing that she was not on the train anymore.

"Oh. That. I was wondering when you'll notice this is not your previous location." She said smiling. "Well you see, Diamond Tiara brought you in after she found you in a burning train wreck and while she is snobby and annoying, she's actually quite a noble soul underneath all that metal and circuitry."

"Train. Wreck. Wait... RAINBOW DASH!" she said upon realizing the lack of a certain cyan mare.

"Oh her? Don't worry she's alive and well. Plus she came along with Diamond Tiara in order to make sure you come here in one piece. Though why she left soon after, I'm not quite sure myself."

"Oh." That was all that Twilight could manage out. She wasn't sure how she should feel. On one hand she left Twilight for no apparent reason. On the other she at least she stayed with her to make sure she at least safe.

Upon see the unicorn's effort to piece together her feelings, the alicorn sigh and spoke before Twilight can make up her mind ."Before you judge her any farther." The alicorn reach out to her pocket and pulled out an Echo Recorder. "She left this for you so you can at least understand her reason behind this."

Twilight took the recorder almost instantly. "Well, mind as well get this over with." She reached out for her pocket so she can get her Echo communicator only to find that her pocket isn't there anymore. "Uh. Where are my clothes?"

"Oh. You see, when Diamond Tiara brought you in, you were in terrible condition so I had to initiate medical procedures to get you back in full health." Said the blue alicorn. " However I must say this in other to get it out of my systems, please don't hate me."

"Uh. okay?" Said the unicorn mare with an awkward tone.

"Actually it's three things. One, you have the most highest pain tolerance I have ever seen. One that rivals the likes of a rock."

"Yah. I sort of known that already."

"Yes, but do you know that Diamond Tiara smash a shovel in your own face while you were asleep?"

"Explains my dream of giving birth to a shovel." Twilight said with a half-amused, half-disturbed tone.

"Yes that rather interesting. Maybe I should research the relationship between reality and dream in real time." The alicorn said. "But anyways I'm digressing."

The alicorn lifted her right leg, reveling that it was a cybernetic limb like Twilight's. "Secondly, I'm rather jealous of the fact that you made your left leg a cybernetic limb, while I my right leg a cybernetic limb."

"So what's so bad about that?"

"You see, it prevents me from amusing myself in a way only other mares can."

"OH! Oh. So why don't use your other hoof?"

"I use that to hold certain material."

"Okay."

"And thirdly." She started to blush red. Actually scratch that, she started to blush purple.

"While you were asleep. I took this as an opportunity to take some rather provocative photos of you."

Then a familiar voice came from the other room. "Hey Luna! I finish placing all those pictures of fat flanks number two in your clop box!"

"Please forgive me!" Luna begged,

"Actually, I'm kind of flattered for some strange reason." Twilight said while blushing. "So your name is Luna?"

Luna let out a sigh of relief before answering. "Luna is just my nickname. My real name is Sir Lunalock, minus the "Sir" part mind you, that's just a title."

"Wait. Aren't you a mare? Isn't it suppose to be something like Madame or Lady?"

"Sir sounds much better than all those titles, made for those who lack a fifth appendage."

"Okay, so when can I get back my clothes?"

"Actually, right now if you feel well enough."

Twilight tried getting of bed and tumbled down to the ground. As she tried to stand her body made a loud grumbling sound. "How long was I out? Because my stomach feels like it's emptier then space."

"Two weeks."

"TWO WEEKS!" Twilight shouted in Sir Lunalock's face.

"Yes, two weeks. Don't worry, we got a food supply that can last fifty years, now get dress and follow me to the kitchen."

Twilight immediately started to put all of her clothes on. Soon after she was done, Sir Lunalock led her through the door and into the kitchen.

Somewhere in the blizzard.

A hooded figure searched the train wreck, looking for any survivors who saw the true face of Handsome Rabbit, metaphorically speaking. Damn it, I can't find any life in this shit hole. She thought to herself.

She studied the wreckage carefully and came to a conclusion. These things have been here for quite some time now, nothing can last long in this cold. Then she saw something that caught her eye. A trail of dead Diamond Dogs. All of them filled with so much lead, that you can make a small house out of them. Despite being in layers of snow you can still see the carnage left behind. Whoever survived must have been sturdy enough to shake off an explosion and still have enough energy to destroy an army of Diamond dog. To say she was impressed was an understatement. She was, in a way, terrified by what this pony might be capable of.

Maybe if I follow this trail of destruction maybe I'll find the pony who did this. She was about to follow up with her plan until her heard a feral cry. She turned around and saw that a hoard of Diamond Dogs and staring at her from the train wreck. Looks like the Diamond Dogs are using these Train wrecks as a new home. Pinkie, it's your turn now.

The pony suddenly twitch her head and the hood fell down, revealing a pink earth pony with a psycho mask. The Diamond Dogs suddenly felt something off about her, like something horrible and twisted took her place. They started to howl, calling more Diamond Dogs. The earth pony simply smiled beneath the mask. Watching as more and more Diamond Dogs came to help their brethren.

Finally, the earth pony spoke. "WHO WANTS TO PARTY!"

"I can't believe it." Sir Lunalock said, her voice full of shock.

"I can't even come up with a snide remark for this." Diamond Tiara said, agreeing in a way.

"She ate half of my fifty year food supply." Sir Lunalock said with both awe for the unicorns feat and grief for the fact that her fifty year food supply may not be as "fifty years worth" as she thought.

"Whawts tha natter Woona?" Twilight said with her mouth full.

Despite her horrid table manners, the blue alicorn mare was too engross in her grief for her food that she simply didn't care. "Oh, nothing my dear Twilight, I'm fine really. Now, will you please excuse me while I process... Certain. Things. Outside. Alone."

She quickly trotted to the door.

"Is she okay?"

"Nah, she'll be fine. I promise. In fact, I remember this one time, she was dating a stallion named Blueblood and she love him with all her heart. That was until she found out that he was cheating on her. She came running back here, crying off her face."

"Is she still sad about it?"

"Nah, she got over him, right after she went to his house and repainted it with his blood, soon after she declared that she'll never date a stallion again and she became a fillyfooller."

"Huh. Well I guess he had it coming."

"He sure did Twilight, he sure did."

*Bang.*

"What was that!?" Twilight said, alarmed.

"Horse-guts, the bandits are here! Quick grab a gun!"

"But you guys didn't even handed me back my revolver!"

"Well boo ho Queen Fat Flanks, use this." Diamond Tiara grabbed an elemental shotgun and threw it to Twilight.

Twilight grabbed it with her magic and saw that it was an Everfree shotgun, but it was not the mass produced kind that she was used to. Something about that fact felt off. "Diamond, what is this shotgun?"

"It's called the Conference Call. Don't ask."

After getting a "not much of an answer" answer, she simply shrugged as she follow Diamond Tiara out through the door.

Upon leaving the comforts of Sir Lunalock's house, she felt the cold seeping into her body as she shivered. But unfortunately, there was no time for shivering.

Upon arrival, the two mares (do robots have gender?). Well anyways, the two mares arrive and saw that a fire fight has broken between Sir Lunalock and a group of bandits.

Sir Lunalock saw her two friend coming in an effort to help her. "TWILIGHT! And Diamond. GET TO COVER!"

"Hey guys, look! More target pract-" his sentence was cut off as his head was shot clean through with a bullet. Courtesy of Sir Lunalock.

Doing as Sir Lunalock told them. The pair split up and went to cover. Diamond Tiara hid behind a fringe, which for some reason was there, but Diamond didn't question it, seeing as this fringe is also keeping her alive. Twilight used a cardboard as her cover. Both Sir Lunalock and Diamond Tiara raised their eye at her. "What? Cardboard boxes are perfectly good covers in gun fights."

One of the female bandits saw the cover Twilight is using and snicker. "Moron." She said, as she aim her rocket launcher at her and fired. The rocket ripped right through the cardboard protection and exploded on contact with Twilight.

"TWILIGHT!" Sir Lunalock said. "FAT FLANKS!" Diamond Tiara said. They both watch helplessly, as they saw the mare they nurse so hard back into health, fly through the air and finally landing on the ground with a loud thud.

Then, a miracle happened. Twilight starting getting up, shaking off the rocket as if it was just a sponge. "Strange. I don't feel any pain." Sure she can feel her ribs and legs bones are broken but no pain came at all. Plus to make it go up to eleven, she can actually feel her bones realign and heal themselves at an alarming rate. She also notice that her burnt flesh was healing fast, even her fur and clothing are coming back. Sure she can understand fur, but clothes! Seriously!

She looked up and saw the mare who shot her with a rocket. Her jaw practically separating from her face. "WHO THE BUCK ARE YOU!" She shouted.

Twilight saw the confused state the female bandit was in and took it to her advantage. Twilight looked around for her gun and saw it was not too far from her, around a feet and a quarter far. She looked back to the bandit mare and started charging straight at her, as she ran, her horn glowing and her gun floated to her. It was hard focusing both on running and using her magic at the same time but she didn't care. She wanted to live.

The bandit mare had a long time to process what happened, only to suddenly realize that the mare she just attacked is now charging straight at her. She started fumbling with her rocket launcher and manage to reload it, but when she fired it, she was in too much panic to fire it right and so letting Twilight to just barely dodge it.

By the time Twilight was within two feet of her, the shotgun manage to catch up with her and she grabbed it, pulling it into the face of the bandit. She didn't even know what happened next as Twilight pulled the trigger causing the bandit to explode in electrical glory.

"Stupid bitch, I'll kill you!" Shouted a voice from behind.

She turn around and saw a rather large stallion was pointing his Celestial(Torgue) shotgun at her. But before he could fire, he exploded. Turning to the direction the rocket came, she saw that Diamond Tiara shot him, in turn saving Twilight's life. She looked carefully and saw that Diamond Tiara use a Pocket Rocket, Twilight only saw the gun once in a book, but she thought it was just a joke.

Twilight's Train of thought was interrupted however, as she saw a second group of bandits. "More incoming!" Sir Lunalock said as she pointed her sniper rifle at the approaching wave of bandits.

"Looks like it time for DEATHSPIKE!" Twilight raised her mechanical limb to summon Deathspike, but instead four metal claws extended from her hoof.

"Whoa!" Twilight was confused, she didn't install claws in her leg, sure, she thought of installing a hidden shock baton in there but not metal claws of murdering everything in sight. A thought hit her head and she tried thinking of retracting the claws. It worked and this time Twilight tried summoning Deathspike again, but with more focus this time. A familiar blue surrounded her hoof and Deathspike digitize on the battlefield.

She felt a bullet enter her right shoulder, but like before, she didn't feel any pain. She looked around and saw the bandit who shot her. "DIE ALREADY, HAHAHAHA!"

"This is going to be a long day." Twilight let out a sigh, but than an idea popped into her head and she remember her claws. "Well if I'm going to live with it, I might as have fun with it."

After cheering herself up. She ran to the battlefield, shotgun in one hand and metal claws of murdering in the other. "WAIT GUYS! LEAVE SOME FOR ME!"

Author's Note

Believe it or not this chapter was suppose to be longer, but a problem came up and I forgot to save. FAIL.

Anyways, I like to play around with the crossover formula and added my own twist. Now Twilight is Robocop plus Darkman crossed with The Six million dollar man(hint, hint).

And yes I made Diamond Tiara as Claptrap that can fight. Cause why not!

Also I read the comments and decide to take some of the advice and weave them in the story.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Btw, on my last chapter I had a proof reader for that so there weren't many mistakes on Chapter one. But here I don't have one at the moment, so if there are any grammar mistakes, please tell me and I will correct them.