Applejack’s Love
Applejack was not beautiful. While most ponies would see her as dependant, hardworking and perhaps charming, they did not portray her as beautiful. This did not in any way falter Applejack as she cruised through her life of bucking apples and maintaining her family farm. She did not need a hundred desperate stallions catering to her every whim in the hopes they might get a chance to be her special somepony. For one, she did not like to be lazy and let others do things for her; she was a hard worker, and was capable of caring for herself. And two, Applejack was not particularly interested in colts that way.
It wasn’t that she hated all colts. She wasn’t bias in that sense. She simply didn’t see the interest that other fillies and mares had towards the opposite gender. Put simply, Applejack liked mares over colts. That wasn’t to say she adored mares and wanted them only. No, she liked them equally as colts. No, she liked mares slightly more. No, no. It was different than that…
No, one could not simply put what Applejack liked into a few words. All her life, Applejack was raised on the principles and beliefs of old. At least, what her Granny Smith had taught her. She was taught that mares liked colts, and colts liked mares. She also learned that pegasi were to be pegasi and earth ponies with earth ponies, etc. That was the natural order of things, according to Granny Smith. It didn’t take her long to figure out the world wasn’t as easy as that. Sometimes a mare liked a mare. Sometimes a pegasus liked a unicorn. At first, Applejack was confused by all of this. The more Applejack thought about it, the more she realized that love conquers all, and can’t be constrained by race or even gender.
This is what the young orange pony believed.
While Applejack may have believed that love was the one true constant, she never felt as though she had a true love. Sure, she loved her family, and she loved her friends, and she loved her dog, but that wasn’t the same. She didn’t have a special somepony. Growing up, she didn’t take any particular interest in love, and was always more interesting in apple bucking. She didn’t need another pony in her life to help her feel whole.
But, just like everypony else, Applejack began to feel different.
As the farming pony blossomed from a young filly into a mature mare, she began to have…feelings. Throughout the years, she noticed other fillies and foals grow up, and become interested in one another. Her ideals that love was for grownups and older ponies changed when she realized she was grown up. A growing urge inside her. New, unfamiliar feelings rose up and gave her unpleasant foreign thoughts and feelings. As she grew up, Applejack felt a longing; a strange, empty feeling in the newly found and strange parts of herself. She felt…lonely. She yearned for her special somepony.
Applejack was not one for dating. The problem wasn’t that she didn’t know how to go about it. She wasn’t afraid to try it. She had gone on a few dates before. Usually, it was a nice young stallion from Ponyville. While they nice enough and seemed very strong and dependable, they didn’t give Applejack a sense of…what was the word? Fulfillment? Wholeness? Whatever it was she wanted, Applejack never found it in the suitors she chose and had to let the poor fellows go. Perhaps they could find somepony else who could love them back.
Applejack never considered her brother, despite what some might think. As strange and different the world was compared to what she was taught, she knew that that sort of thing was just plain wrong. She loved her brother, but not in that way. Neither did Big Macintosh love her like that. That option was never an option for Applejack. No. Just… No.
So here she was. A dependable, lovable pony with nopony else capable of fulfilling this empty feeling inside her. Nopony to fill her heart with a special kind of love. On the outside, happy and surrounded by loved ones. Inside, all alone.
Until she met a certain cyan mare…
Rainbow Dash. That’s what the hip young athlete liked to be called. It was also her name. She was a young pegasus from the cloud city of Cloudsdale. As all pegasi, she had large feathered wings that she could fly with. Rainbow liked flying. In fact, she loved it. Flying through the sky, doing tons of flips loops and tricks was what the amazing Rainbow Dash was best at. Ever since she was very young, Rainbow Dash loved to fly. It was her special talent. When she was just a filly, she shattered the sound barrier and performed the Sonic Rainboom. Just as apples were in Applejack’s blood, flying was in Rainbow’s blood. Rainbow loved flying so much.
Applejack had known Rainbow for a number of years. The number wasn’t substantially large, but large enough for the two to become well acquainted with each other. Both mares had come to realize their competitive nature, and often competed in friendly games and races. Playful banter and comments on each other’s performance drove them to overcome the other. The more and more the two hung out, the closer they became. Applejack knew more about Dash every time she saw her. Rainbow was the inspiration Applejack needed to become better. She set new goals for Applejack to overcome. For Rainbow, Applejack was the same. Because the mares were different enough for one to be stronger at one thing than the other, they each strived to be stronger and were determined to be the best.
Over the years, Applejack came to realize that that was what she admired in Rainbow Dash: her determination. Rainbow Dash’s dream was to join an elite group of flyers called the Wonderbolts. To do this, she had to become the best flyer she could be. She set her sights high and never gave up; she never stopped trying to be better. She always tried to improve herself. Her spirit and focus on her goals never faltered with failure. Each crash, each accident and each mistake was a lesson. A lesson on how one was to overcome the adversity of their own flaws and triumph. Self-improvement. New challenges. New heights of achievement. This was Rainbow Dash.
This was Applejack’s crush.
At first, Applejack tried to deny that she loved Rainbow Dash. Well, of course she loved her friends. Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, even Rarity! Why wouldn’t she love Rainbow as a friend? Yeah, she liked her as a friend. That’s all they were: just friends.
Really, how could somepony like her fall in love with somepony like Rainbow Dash? She was arrogant, egotistical, bone-headed, charming, idiotic, clumsy, strong-willed, inspiring, amazing…
…
Applejack was in love with Rainbow Dash.
She was the only one who gave Applejack a sense of… Inspiration? Completeness? Wholeness? Yes. All of these. Applejack loved Rainbow. That was great, wasn’t it? This is what she was searching for her whole life, right? She finally had someone that could fill her heart with love and joy. She could finally feel what others knew as ‘true love’. It was just like in her romance novels: two ponies fall in love, some conflicts arise, but in the end they find themselves together, despite all adversity, and live happily ever after.
Unfortunately, life was not like her romance novels. Applejack had fallen for Rainbow Dash. She loved Dash and adored her, but Dash did not seem to return her feelings. She always seemed very friendly and playful, but never gave any signal that she wanted more. Although, maybe it was Applejack’s fault. She never showed any intimate feelings towards Rainbow, either. Sure, she may have had a flirtatious attitude when the two were competing, but nothing really straight forward that would say she liked her that way. Did Rainbow really seem like the kind who would pick up on subtle things like that anyway? Applejack was the one in love with her, but maybe Rainbow was too. All she had to do was tell her how she felt.
Ah, if only things could be as simple as that. Applejack very much wished they could, really. But despite her best attempts at showing her true emotions she just could not bring herself to tell Rainbow Dash how she truly felt. Many a time she tried, but even at the thought of telling Rainbow Dash, she got all tongue tied and silent. It was very strange for somepony like her, who often spoke the pain and simple truth. Well, this truth was anything but simple. It was a whole complicated mess of emotions.
For many months now, Applejack had pondered over just how she would tell Rainbow Dash her feelings. It wasn’t that she couldn’t think of any ways to tell her, oh no. She had come up with many ways, just none that were particularly good. Bringing it up as casual conversation wouldn’t work, and mushy romance crap was definitely going to get her nowhere.
In recent days, Applejack felt funny. She felt uneasy. She didn't know why. Her occasional thoughts of Rainbow Dash became more and more prevalent. She could usually keep her emotions and private thoughts in check so as not to interfere with her reputation, but more and more she felt them become the focus of her attention. She didn't feel like herself. Her emotions were more...exposed. It was weird. It felt like something big was going to happen. But despite the strange feeling in her gut, (which, as she discovered throughout the years, was usually right), she did not falter as she went about her business. Her business was, of course, the Apple family business.
So here she was, working the Apple Cart stall in the marketplace. Busy ponies droned in the background, creating a dull sort of hum in the air. While Applejack stood at the stall, her mind was elsewhere. Just out and about, thinking about the physical aspects of Rainbow Dash: Her beautifully coloured rainbow mane and tail that whipped in the wind as she flew. Her sleek and wondrous body that was well toned from years of training. Her amazing legs that lead up to a shapely and well-toned-
Yes, she had thoughts about those things as well. Applejack felt a little pervy for having those kinds of thoughts about a friend. She couldn’t help herself, though. Rainbow Dash not only was incredibly amazing and inspiring to her and motivating her, but she was also very beautiful, even if Applejack wasn’t. Her rainbow colours that streaked in the sky as she soared always filled Applejack with a sort of…satisfaction. At the same time, it felt her with a deep longing. One that came from not being able to simply tell her how she felt.
Whenever Applejack thought about Rainbow Dash like this, it always seemed as though she was right there in front of her. She could picture it all: her cute smile, seldom seen by anyone but her closest friends. It was a different one than her ‘cool’ smile she gave the public after a good race. Her pretty magenta eyes that kept a certain spark in them. Her cute squeaky voice that sounded like she never quite grew out of puberty…
“Hey, Applejack!”
?
Applejack blinked. She vividly snapped out of her daydream and was forced back into reality. Not that she minded as much, as her daydream was now standing in front of her for real. Her daydream shook around her and faded, but Rainbow Dash didn't. The one true constant.
Applejack blinked a couple of times again. Her brain took a moment to realize that her crush had just spoken to her.
“Oh… Uh, howdy, RD!” she gave her automatic greeting.
“Heh. Caught ya daydreaming?” Dash gave her cool smile.
“Well, Ah... Uh, um…” Applejack stuttered.
“Don’t sweat it. It’s cool. I can spend hours on a cloud thinking about stuff, too.” Rainbow Dash reassured her.
Applejack smiled back and stood in a more relaxed position. The applecart in the market place was like a second home for Applejack. Often she would be the one to look over things, as Big Mac was busy at home, AppleBloom was too young to handle it on her own and Granny Smith was too…er, ‘elderly’ for the job. For many years, Applejack was the one to manage the publicity of Sweet Apple Acres’ business in the market. This was also how she met new stallion folk. Over time, Rainbow swung by often to have a chat when things were dull and boring. Her charismatic mood brightened up the down time between customers.
It was strange. Just talking to Rainbow normally, having a normal chat about things, she was… okay. Applejack felt strong and confident. She was good. But the moment the thought of love or any intimate feelings crossed her mind, she would freeze up. Her tongue would tie itself up, and her thoughts would all flat on their face. Later she would scold herself quietly in her room. It was like she didn’t want to say anything, like she felt it forbidden. But for now, as long as Applejack didn’t think about that kind of thing, she could hold a normal conversation.
Rainbow sighed “Yeah, it’s been pretty boring today.”
“You always need somethin’ exciting and adventurous to keep you happy, don’t ya?” Applejack said.
“Why, yes. As a matter of fact, I do need high speed excitement, all the way!” She pumped a hoof into the air, “All the time!”
“All the time? What about all those naps ya take?” Applejack said smugly.
“Well, my dreams are fast paced adventures of their own! When I need a break from real hard-core stuff, I just kick back and let my mind do all the adventuring!” She closed her eyes and pointed to her head.
Applejack couldn’t help but smile. That was the Rainbow Dash she fell in love with: the fun-loving free spirited daredevil with a sharp wit and quick responses.
Rainbow’s eyes opened suddenly. She looked back to Applejack, “Oh! By the way, I was wondering if you wanted to come to dinner tonight.”
Applejack stopped. She wasn’t even doing anything at the moment, but she somehow just stopped. Her body, her brain, her mind; all of it froze. What did she just say?
“If you’re busy, I understand.” Her cute voice was just as smooth and casual as Applejack wished her own to be. It was like she wasn’t even trying.
Yes. Yes. With the burning sensation of a thousand suns, oh god yes! Applejack thought. She had dreamed about his moment before a billion times in her head, but never believed it could become a reality. Rainbow Dash was asking her out! Whoa, calm down there, girl. What was she to do now? She never actually got this far in her mind…
Play it cool.
“Sure.” She said it like it was an invite to help somepony move. Not too terrible, but not very exciting. Mediocre, at best. To Applejack, this was the best thing that ever happened in her life. No offense to her family, of course, but she couldn’t think of a more joyful feeling she had ever experienced.
Rainbow smiled. “Great! Catch ya later!” And with that, Rainbow spread her magnificent wings, at least in Applejack’s eyes, and took off into the air. She zipped around in a few loops before disappearing in a tiny speck in the sky.
Applejack said nothing. Not a single solitary sound. Moments passed. Then, her eyes widened as the reality of the situation sunk in: she had a date with the one and only Rainbow Dash!
Applejack’s emotionless face slowly broke into a smile, which grew into a gigantic grin. A million things ran through her head at once, like the Element of Harmony Rainbow Wave. So many emotions and thoughts overcame her: Extreme glee, joy, hope, love. Inside she felt like she could out do Pinkie Pie in a happiness contest. She felt a heavy weight lift from her shoulders. She wouldn’t have to worry about asking Rainbow out anymore. She asked her out! AJ felt a tingling sensation in her chest when she thought about it. Applejack blushed. Butterflies in her stomach. It was wonderful.
During the overflow of wondrous emotions and feelings that Applejack felt, she happed to overlook on little detail: she didn’t know when or where.
Lucky for currently overloaded earth pony, Rainbow Dash came zooming back overhead. She stopped and hovered just a couple feet above AJ’s head. “Oh yeah! It’s at seven at H&B! Don’t forget!
Without thinking, Applejack responded. “Sure thing…” Her voice was woozy and light, almost like a dream. It reflected how she felt inside. She mentally facehoofed at the realization of her own voice. It was so unlike her normal southern tone. Even though it was a few simple words, it still sounded so lovey dovey and dopey. It reminded her of how Big Mac spoke when he was under the influence of the love spell. She silently prayed Rainbow didn’t notice.
If she did notice, Rainbow Dash didn’t say. In fact, she said nothing. She simply nodded and quickly zoomed away again.
Applejack blew out a sigh of relief. She was relieved about a number of things: Rainbow didn’t seem to notice that Applejack sounded like a love drunk fourteen year old. That was a good start. What was even better was that the hard part was finally over. She finally had herself what she wanted. No longer would she find herself unable to speak to Rainbow Dash. Whenever she tried to ask Rainbow out, it felt like she had hit a wall. A wall of self-prevention and fear. These turn of events felt like she was helped out by a friendly blue pegasus, and flew over the wall in triumph. If that made any sense.
Now she didn’t have to punish herself trying to ask Rainbow out! She felt like screaming out in joy. Rainbow did what she didn’t have the guts to. Well, how about that? Perhaps her subtle hints did work after all. Maybe Rainbow wasn’t as thick as she thought. Things were looking up for Applejack.
With grace and speed that mimicked both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash herself, Applejack began putting away all her apple goodies. All the pies, fritters and snacks were quickly packed and put away. She folded the cart sign down as to say, “Closed, please go elsewhere for apples.” Applejack went and hitched herself up the cart’s harness. With a cart full of apples, and a heart full of joy, Applejack sped away in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres. It may have been a few hours early to close up shop, but Applejack didn’t care. She had to go get ready for her date.
Her date with Rainbow Dash.
Applejack was not one for fancy dress wear. The fanciest thing she owned was the Grand Galloping Gala dress that Rarity made. In fact, that dress was probably the fanciest thing in the entire house! In truth, she simply didn’t really have any reason to dress up, what with all the dirty farm work she constantly did. So it didn’t come as a surprise that Applejack literally had nothing to wear for tonight.
Applejack hummed and hawed as she stood, looking at her wardrobe. She was amazed she even still had one in her room, considering how little of clothes she wore. She thought for sure she chopped it down into spare firewood years ago, but nope. Here it was, displaying all four articles of clothing Applejack currently owned: Her Gala dress, her spare Stetson, a red vest and galoshes. All very wonderful choices for a date night.
Applejack sighed. She contemplated the idea of even dressing up at all. Her previous dates had not been very posh, but they weren’t slobs, either. She usually went as she was, maybe add a hair brushing session of about three brush strokes. Rainbow Dash wasn’t at all posh. She hated to dress up almost as much as Applejack did, if not more.
She blew out a long breath. She looked at the clock at the wall. 6:35. She had to hurry up. While Rainbow Dash may not have cared if somepony was late by a few minutes, or even a couple hours, Applejack always tried to be punctual. Tried. Besides, what kind of message would being late on their first date be? Applejack shrugged. Surely RD wouldn’t mind if she went as-is.
Besides, what was the worst that could happen?
…
The H&B, or Hay & Bale, was the most popular place in Ponyville to eat after dark. Its unique atmosphere of edginess and friendliness was enjoyed by all. It had a unique charm of its own that was dark and mysterious, yet familiar and inviting. Many ponies enjoyed popping in for a drink while talking about the game with buddies, while other liked to sit and enjoy a delicious meal. Sometimes with their dates…
The restaurant was split into two main sections: On the left hand side was the bar. It had a very adult oriented atmosphere: dim lights barely lit the place, little spaces in between the tables for movement and rows and rows of bottles of alcohol lined the back shelves. It was about as cliché a bar as one could get.
The other side was the more restaurant area of the restaurant. Tables and booths were scattered around the place, making access to and from the tables easy. Great for frequent bathroom visits. Pictures and painting hung on the walls, trying to liven the place, in contrast to the dull and dark atmosphere of the bar section. It was also significantly more brightly lit than the bar area, yet still somewhat dim. A nice touch.
Applejack casually sauntered into the restaurant. The corners of her mouth raised as the delicious scent of the restaurant washed over her like a warm blanket of pure deliciousness. She took a deep breath. It had been a long time since she had been here. She wondered why that was as the delicious scents of pasta and other cooked foods filled her nostrils. It was nowhere near as delicious as her Granny Smith’s apple pies, but it was a nice change of pace from the frequent apple related foods she ate regularly.
“Yo, AJ!”
Applejack opened her eyes. She didn’t even notice she had closed them. The smells were…intoxicating. She quickly looked around to find the source of the yell. She first saw the mare by distinguishable rainbow mane. Never could miss it, even in a crowd! Rainbow Dash waved a hoof from around the corner. “Hey!” she called to the orange pony. Once she knew Applejack saw her, she went back behind the corner.
This was it. Applejack began to head towards where her crush just was. As she moved, she noticed she was taking an awfully long time to go that short of a distance. What was wrong with her? Looking down at herself, Applejack noticed something about her legs: they were shaking! Imagine, Applejack, the toughest and hardest as nails pony in Ponyville, shaking at the knees at the thought of a date!
Get a hold of yerself! She told herself. Rainbow’s waiting for ya! Taking a few deep breaths, Applejack kept calm and carried on. As she walked, her chest swelled with joy that Rainbow Dash was just around the corner, waiting for her.
As she rounded the corner, her feeling of delight and joy all melted into a strange feeling of uncertainty and confusion. Sure enough, there was Rainbow Dash, sitting at a table near the bar section. It was what else she saw, that disturbed her. She saw Rainbow Dash…and Fluttershy. And Pinkie Pie, and Rarity, and Twilight! In fact, all of her friends were gathered around a large booth, chatting and laughing.
What!?
“Hey, Applejack! Glad you could make it.”, Twilight greeted her friend cheerfully. All the others said hello as well or simply raised their drinks to acknowledge her presence.
Applejack was now honestly and utterly confused. Rainbow Dash had asked her for dinner. That much she was certain of. Yet, all of her friends were here. If this wasn’t a date, then what was it? Could it be..?
“I thought for sure you wouldn’t be able to make it, but Rainbow Dash here said otherwise.” Rarity said, sipping her drink.
“Yeah, she almost seemed like she didn’t wanna come.” said Rainbow Dash.
The confused orange pony tried to smile. “Well I… I mean, I just…wasn't sure what she meant…” She was glad now that she hadn’t decided to get all dressed up. How embarrassing that would have been…
Rarity quickly snapped her head to the cyan pegasus. “You didn’t tell her what it was for!?” she said in surprise and anger.
Applejack had a blank look on her face. “No Ma’am. She just asked me…“, Applejack trailed off as she realized what had happened. “…to dinner.”
She felt like facehoofing right then and there. All previous feelings of joy, hope, excitement…pretty much any good feeling, all collapsed in on itself and was replaced with disappointment and sadness. Applejack looked at all her friends. They all seemed to be happy and enjoying themselves. If only Applejack could say the same…
Spirits dampened, the cowgirl slumped into the chair in between Twilight and Rarity. She tried to hide her disappointment like she tried to hide her feelings for Rainbow Dash, but it was clear that something was bothering her. Either nopony noticed, or nopony wanted to ask. Everypony just continued drinking and having fun. As the night went on, Applejack became more and more depressed. Her dream date had not gone as she hoped it would. It hadn’t even gone at all, instead being replaced by friends hanging out. Friends, was that all they were? Applejack wanted to be more.
At some point in the night, Rarity did reveal the reason for the little get-together. Apparently, some big name store in Canterlot wanted to sell her dresses or something. Rarity was pleased as punch to make the clothes, but was overjoyed when all the profit started to come back to her. She wanted to celebrate by taking all her marefriends out to dinner. Applejack didn’t quite catch the whole tale and didn’t really care. She was happy for her friend’s good fortune, but right now something else pressured her attention. Something concerning a rainbow maned mare…
Applejack eventually got up and went over to the bar. She felt terrible. She felt deep depression in the pit of her stomach. She felt so embarrassed. She didn’t know why. Nopony knew about what she thought the night would be like. Yet, despite keeping her secret crush a secret, she still felt like a moron. She expected a lovely date with her crush. She thought that even though she couldn’t ask Rainbow Dash out, the two of them were destined for each other, and Rainbow Dash could accomplish what she could not. That they could be together, despite personality and character flaws and differences. If only life were that simple…
She heard the grunt and sigh of another pony getting up onto the stool next to her. The last thing she wanted to do was be hit on by some drunken stallion. For that matter, she didn’t want to talk to anypony at the moment. She just wanted to be left alone. All alone…
“Hey, AJ!”
Damn it.
Applejack turned to see the very last pony in the entire land of Equestria that she wanted to see right now. Rainbow came over to the distressed farm pony with a huge smile plastered to her face. “Man, all of Pinkie’s good jokes come out when she’s smashed! Wish I could see her like this more often…”
Rainbow’s smile slowly fell when she saw her friend’s expression. The cyan pony went silent. An awkward silence thick enough to cut fell upon the two. Neither mare said anything for a while.
‘Sounds like yer havin’ fun.” Applejack finally said.
“…Yeah.” Rainbow Dash said.
Applejack didn’t know what to do, what to say. She just looked down at her drink. She swished the ice around. She wished this moment would just pass already. Finally, Rainbow spoke.
“Yeah, so…” Rainbow trailed off, uncertain what to say.
“So…” Applejack repeated. She was honestly drawing a blank as to how to progress in this conversation. It wasn’t because she was drunk or anything. No, Applejack knew she had work to do the next day, so she was careful not to overdo it. Besides, Applejack was no lightweight. It took a great deal of alcohol before she even began to feel fuzzy, and she usually only did that when she felt really really sad or really really happy.
“Did I ever tell you what happened to me the other day?” Rainbow said.
Applejack shook her head. She hadn’t even seen Rainbow Dash for the past few days until the applecart conversation. Now she wished she hadn’t seen her at all. How ironic…
“Hm. Well, I was out by my usual training area around evening. I was doing my tricks, right? Loops, flips, super triple barrel spirals… All the good stuff.”
Applejack nodded.
Rainbow wrinkled her nose. “Then, right outa nowhere, there’s this stallion, cheering me on!” she threw her hooves up in emphasis. “There was nopony one second… Suddenly, this guy! He scared…I mean, startled the heck outta me.” Rainbow covered up the slip of the tongue. The great and fearless Rainbow Dash did not get scared!
“Hm. Weird.” Applejack said under her breath. She still was only half listening at the moment.
“Yeah. Anyway, he was congratulating me all up on my moves! Ne’er even seen this guy before in my life. Just...cheering me on.” Rainbow began to slur her words. She was not completely drunk, but was still a little tipsy. Applejack knew Rainbow wasn’t a lightweight either. Just how much did she have to drink?
“Not that I minded. I like the attention.” She gave a goofy, yet charming, tooth filled grin. “I like the praise…”
“Then, we got to talking. He was real friendly. Had a great smile… We talked ‘bout our different flying tricks. He was a pegasus, too.” She added.
Applejack nodded. She didn’t like where this story was going, but kept it silent. This pegasus guy just seemed…too friendly. She decided to hear the full story before passing judgement, though.
“He said my moves were good, but he’d seen better. Said he was better than me!”” she turned back to Applejack in disbelief. “Can you believe it?”
Applejack shook her head in agreement. “Haven’t heard a boast that big since that Trixie was in town.”
Rainbow took a swig of her drink, “Yeah! Anyways… I challenged him to a race. Right then and there!” her smile returned. Rainbow was always so full of herself. Despite crashing into hundreds of things, the only way to really hurt Rainbow was through her feelings, Applejack thought.
“So we raced. Heh. He was pretty good, too.” Rainbow looked at Applejack and smirked. Applejack feigned a smile. “But not as good as me.” she continued.
“Man what a race. I was booking it like no tomorrow! Zigzagging through trees, looping around clouds, dodging in and out of crowds! Ha, that mare looked so frightened! Never thought a pony’s eyes could get so big…” Rainbow laughed at her own antics.
“In the end, I won, of course. But he still took it pretty well. Even in defeat, he kept his chin high and complimented me on my style.”
Over the course of the night, Applejack had actually managed to calm herself quite a bit ever since she first found out the real reason for going out. Her nerves her no longer shaking and had long since calmed into a much more relaxed state. What she was about to hear, however, would change that…
“He told me I was the best flier he ever saw.” Rainbow said suddenly. “He said he liked all my tricks…and my rainbow mane.” She put a hoof to her cheek. She closed her eyes for a moment before finishing:
“and me.”
If Applejack wasn’t listening, she certainly was now. Again, even though she wasn’t actually doing anything, she stopped. She said nothing. She just sat for a while, processing what she had just heard. Her eyes widened at the implication of this. Had Rainbow found a guy that was into her? Was she too late? She had waited too long, and others began making their move.
“I told him to hit the road, though.” Rainbow said suddenly, sneering at the memory. Applejack’s head snapped up. What did she say? She let him go? Why would she do that? Not that she was complaining, but…
“You…you let him go?” Applejack repeated.
Rainbow straightened upright. “Yup” She perfectly mimicked AJ's brother’s catchphrase. “That guy wasn’t…up to my standards.” She turned to the slightly confused AJ. She could see her friend wasn’t exactly following, so she elaborated. “This guy’s bite as nowhere near his bark. Look, when somepony comes up to me, claiming to be better than me, I expect a challenge! Guy looked like an amateur...” she muttered. “Told him to scram, and left.”
Applejack said nothing. She simply nodded. “uh…ah, Good fer you!” She said, unsure what to say at this point. Rainbow looked at her with a look that pressed for more. “Yeah… Uh. You deserve better than that, RD!” she smiled.
Rainbow smiled back. “Thanks, AJ. You’re a real friend.”
Friend. That’s all she thought of her, a friend.
Rainbow stared for a little bit. Not at anywhere in particular, just into space… She blinked. She leaned back and stretched her forelegs. “Yep.” She looked back to AJ. “I mean…like…” Rainbow paused. She stared down into the floor like it was a portal to another dimension. A dimension filled with boring stuff. Still a pretty interesting sight in itself, but as Rainbow would say…meh.
“Mm.” Rainbow rubbed her eye. “Sorry. I’m just beat. Think I’m gonna make myself scarce…” she sighed.
Applejack nodded. She should be getting home, too. She had work. She had a family to worry about her. She shouldn’t be out this late… But something stopped her. It was…a burning feeling in the back of her mind. She heard and experienced some things today that opened her doors in her head, doors that needed to be either explored or shut. Maybe both.
Rainbow Dash hopped off the barstool. She stumbled a tad, but got herself upright. “See ya later!” she called out as she stumbled away into the thickness of the night.
Applejack gave a nod of recognition. She sighed and proceeded to find and consume a great deal of alcohol.
…
Reflect. To see one’s self, either in a mirror or in their mind. A single pony does a lot in one day. Sometimes, things are forgotten. Sometimes, things are wished to be forgotten. Whatever one pony may do in a single day, reflection is a must. It is a way to remember to events of the day and piece them all together. Sometimes, one may piece together two different events or thoughts in ways unthinkable the first time experienced to create entirely new thoughts. Reflect.
The long walk home gave Applejack plenty of time to do just this. Reflect the events of the day, of the night, and her mind. Her emotions and mind fought like two rabid Timberwolves. Her head swelled with emotions and thoughts. She was still disappointed and saddened and worried. Most of these were because her wonderful ‘date’ actually turned out to be nothing more than a get together with her friends. Yet some came from what she heard that night at the bar.
While Rainbow may have thought she was just telling stories over drinks, she had actually told more. Oh so much more. The story, to Rainbow Dash, was about her victory over another pegasus who was too big for his britches. Applejack on the other hoof saw it as something more. To her, it was a reminder, a realization and motivation.
The pegasus colt… He had flirted with Rainbow Dash. It was a cold splash of reality to Applejack. The reality that she wasn’t the only one who had their eyes set on her beloved Rainbow Dash. He had made a move on her before Applejack did. She had to make her move soon, or it would all be for naught. If only she wasn’t so scared!
This was all so stupid! This was Applejack, the toughest and hardest pony ever to come out of Ponyville. And here she was, confused and nervous over such a simple thing. Ask Rainbow Dash to dinner. Was that so hard?
When she thought Rainbow Dash was asking her out, she noticed how easy and carefree she was doing it. It came as simple as breathing for her. Then again, she wasn’t asking her on a date, but rather a night out with friends. Maybe dating was something difficult for her too? Probably not, she said to herself. Rainbow Dash probably didn’t care much about those kinds of social interactions Know she knew how Fluttershy felt when she was frightened over something so trivial.
The more Applejack thought, the more she began to wonder what would have happened if the pegasus stallion could live up to his words… What if he did give Rainbow a run for her money? What if she thought he was cool? What if she fell for him!?
Applejack shook her head. No…no. That didn’t happen. That could never happen. Rainbow Dash was still single, still available as far as Applejack knew. But… what if another pony came along that could be as amazing and cool as Rainbow Dash wanted? The longer she dilly dallied with the daunting task of asking Rainbow out, the more likely some other mare would come along and take her away. No, Applejack needed to act quickly.
Luck was in her favor though, when Rainbow turned him down because he didn’t quite meet her standards. But could Applejack? Knowing Rainbow, she’d probably want somepony ‘cool’, but what did that even mean? Rainbow’s definition of ‘cool’ was very…vague. Was Applejack ‘cool’?
Yeah, she was cool, wasn’t she? She owned an entire farm, had an entire apple orchard and could make some real kick-flank cider! Rainbow loved napping in the apple trees, and loved cider even more! Applejack herself was very honest, friendly, loyal, headstrong, competitive… Applejack could continue to use as many adjectives as she wanted, but try as she might, she could not bring herself to describe herself as ‘cool’. Even if she did think she was cool, it wouldn’t matter. Rainbow Dash would have to make the call. Only Rainbow Dash could determine if Applejack was cool enough for Rainbow Dash.
Applejack sighed.
Well, even if she wasn’t cool, Rainbow did care about her… That much she knew. Even if she didn’t show it or want to show it, deep down, Rainbow did care for Applejack and her well-being. The time she ran away from home after what happened at the Canterlot Rodeo, Rainbow was right there, fighting Applejack’s own stubbornness to bring her friend home. She never gave up. Rainbow wanted to see her safe. Applejack paused. Then again, so did all of her friends. All her friends came to get her back. All her friends cared about her. Did that mean Rainbow cared no more than Rarity or Fluttershy or…
“Ugh!” Applejack groaned.
This was all too much. Her head hurt from all the conflicting emotions and thoughts. She needed some rest. Her brain was done for today. She had had enough reflection for a long time. Perhaps she should go home and sleep on it. Figure it out tomorrow.
And that’s just what she did.
The next day, Applejack felt a lot better. Her mind and her body were relaxed and rejuvenated, ready for a new day. She whistled as she carried buckets in and out of the barn. Menial farm work always put her in a sense of routine. She always did her morning chores before the sun came up. She always did the same things every day: get up before the sun, milk cows, (which was a lot more difficult than one would think, considering she didn’t have fingers), and feed the other animals. As she went about her chores, her mind went blank. Nothing for a while… Just peace. Some ponies had their yoga, some did meditation, but Applejack had her work. Good ol’ fashioned hard work. Menial repetitive work, her other constant.
The alcohol from the previous night had no ill effects on her as she went on with her chores. No hangover as she worked was very good. Applejack considered herself to be lucky. Pinkie Pie probably was wiped out flat on the floor of her bedroom. She would not want to be the pink pony in about five hours, when she would wake up with a wicked migraine that could split even a Dragon’s thick skull in two.
At least, Applejack prayed Pinkie would wake up in her room, and not the one of some strange stallion. Pinkie was with friends last night, but that mare really had an unquenchable thirst for partying, amongst other things… As assuring as Pinkie was that she was safe, AJ sometimes couldn’t help but worry about her friend. She sometimes worried about the Party Beast inside her, that unseen driving force behind her wild party addiction. It was just as strong as her normally cheery attitude, if not stronger. It made her do things that were…well, pretty wild. It sometimes drove her to do things she would often regret.
Of course, Applejack had no idea if any of this was actually true or not. It was all theories and speculation about the crazy pink party pony. As much as she hated gossip and rumors, she couldn’t help but wonder about these theories. Were they only theories? When Applejack saw Pinkie, she was always so cheery and bright eyed. Sometimes a little too much… Whenever she went to her parties, there was always some wild or big thing going down. Pinkie was still happy, but she wore a new shade of crazy euphoria, like…just plain crazy. She had to do real crazy party things before she was satisfied.
As much as Pinkie wanted to do these wild and sometimes questionable things, it sometimes seemed like…she didn’t. As much as Pinkie loved to have fun, some of the things she did where too wild, even for her! Whenever Pinkie was doing something really crazy and epic, she showed that she almost didn’t want to do it. The orange farm pony had a certain knack for seeing the truth in ponies, and whenever she saw Pinkie Pie doing something over the top, she saw uncertainty and worry in her eyes. Maybe it was the fact she was the element of honesty, but she could tell that Pinkie didn’t want this. There was something else than just Pinkamena Diane pie in that funny little head of hers. It was the one making her do these things. Maybe it was an urge. Some kind of feeling that took over at her parties. Some kind of voice, a whisper…
Some sort of…Party Passenger?
Applejack shook her head. “Whoa, nelly…” she mumbled as she came out of her daydream and focused back on reality. How long had she been daydreaming? Looking around her, she saw many empty buckets surrounding both her and the apple trees. Wait apple trees!? Applejack stopped and chuckled at herself. In the midst of her work groove, she had actually forgotten to stop and went right on to putting the buckets under the trees for when they were bucked, something not done until much later in the day. Applejack blushed. She knew nopony was round, but she still felt embarrassed and just plain silly. When she was in her moment, she really went off on some pretty wild tangents. Pinkie Pie’s Party Addiction… Huh. That was new. She looked up and saw that the sun had already come up a little while ago. She was late for breakfast. Leaving the rest of the buckets, for later, Applejack began walking back to the house.
Applejack frowned as she walked. Memories of the previous night and her own thoughts on the matter rushed back to her. And her morning had started off so great. She had left all her worries and trouble behind her, and forgotten the real issue at the moment. She had no time to be pandering off about Pinkie’s partying habits; she had bigger things to think about. The main two being: ‘How do I ask Rainbow Dash out?’ and ‘Does she think I’m ‘cool’?’
Applejack sighed as she entered her humble abode. She hadn’t noticed before, but all the effort of non-stop working for two hours straight in the wee hours of the morning had taken a toll. She was already tired before breakfast. Lovely. She hung up her hat as she wondered how the rest of the day could go wrong…
Fluttershy arrived at the farm at around 12:15. Right after the apple family would ‘stop workin’ and start eating’, as Granny Smith put it. The friendly little pegasus pony strolled up in a joyful saunter, carrying behind her cart full of empty buckets and pails.
Applejack was resting at the picnic table out by the barn when at the time when the pink maned pony showed up. But the first thing that alerted the farm pony to Fluttershy’s arrival was not her bright yellow appearance, nor her large cart, but the noise of said cart. The creaking and rattling of the buckets as the danced around in the wagon was rather loud. The low rumble and creaking rose from the peaceful silence of the farm and did not go unnoticed. Looking over, AJ noticed she was in a rather cheery mood today. As a result, she was walking at a brisk pace, causing the cart to bounce around rather noisily.
“Howdy, Fluttershy!” Applejack greeted her guest from the bench.
“Hello Applejack.” Fluttershy spoke softly. She stopped about 10 feet from the picnic bench. Applejack got up and walked over to her.
“What brings ya’ll ‘round these parts? No offense, but aren’t ya usually busy with animals to feed?” She leaned to side to observe the yellow pony’s cargo. “And what’s with the wagon?”
Fluttershy’s happy demeanor changed. She now looked rather worried. “Well…that’s actually why I’m here. You see, I was feeding the newborn baby bunnies, when I noticed I didn’t have enough applesauce for all of them. When I went to make more, I noticed I was all out of Apples.” Fluttershy looked down sorrowfully. “I don’t want the bunnies to starve…” She looked back up to Applejack. “Please. May I get some apple from you? I-I’ll be happy to pay of course.”
The orange farm pony shook her head. “Nonsense, Sugarcube. I’d be glad to give ya apples, free of charge!”
Fluttershy smiled. “Oh would you? I wouldn’t want to impede…”
“Don’t worry ‘bout it none. You’re my friend! And these apples are going to a worthy cause. Ah think we can spare a few…” She winked. Fluttershy nodded at this gracious offer, and accepted.
Applejack couldn’t help but think about all the times she told Fluttershy, and all her friends, that they could always get apples for free. As much as she loved Fluttershy, (as a friend), she was sometimes annoyed with all the constant shyness and uncertainty of her. Things would be a lot easier with her if she was more assertive and straightforward with her requests. Applejack recalled hearing about an upcoming assertiveness seminar, held next week. Maybe Fluttershy could learn a thing or two from it.
With a cart loaded full of apples, Fluttershy was pleased that all the baby bunnies would go to bed with full tummies tonight. Applejack was sure to toss in a few extras, so they would have plenty. Maybe she really was the element of generosity, she jokingly thought.
“Thank you again, Applejack. This really means a lot to me.” Fluttershy thanked her friend. She closed her eyes and tilted her head, giving her a soft smile. Even Applejack had to admit she looked cute. Well, amusing to say the least. She still thought her little Dashie was the cutest, especially when she blushed.
“Aw, shucks. Sure thing. Anything for a friend.” Applejack responded.
Nopony said anything for a while. Both mares just stood in awkward silence. Applejack looked at Fluttershy, who was currently off looking at the apples in the buckets in the cart. But apples were the last thing on Fluttershy’s mind right now. The wind whistled gently through the air, breaking the silence like a quiet whisper. It went around Applejack’s legs and through Fluttershy’s long mane. The pink hair blew away from her face to reveal a rather happy looking Fluttershy. Her eyes were full of sparkle. Her mouth was a constant soft smile. Such a dreamy state of mind she was in... Whatever she was thinking of must have been wonderful.
Applejack decided she had enough of this, and coughed audibly.
This seemed to get her attention. Startled, she looked back to Applejack. Blushing, she looked down at her hooves, hiding behind her mane. Just when Applejack thought they would go into another awkward phase of silence, Fluttershy spoke up. “S-so Applejack, did you enjoy yourself last night?”
This question came right from left field and hit Applejack when she wasn’t looking. What a cheap shot. She went silent for a moment. It looked like they would have more quietness. The memories of the previous night hung in her mind like an old wound acting up: a dull throbbing pain, but bearable to say the least. The embarrassment, the disappointment, the revelation, all the main parts of the night still hurt to remember, but were not as painful anymore. It seemed as though how many times she tried, she could never forget the importance of those events. She began to think she would never be free from those thoughts, no matter how hard she tried. Was she being punished for something?
Finally, Applejack sighed. She had to say something. She couldn’t just let the question hanging… She managed to work up a rather convincing smile. “Yeah, it was purdy, uh…interesting.”
Yeah, that would work. She was telling the truth after all. The night was interesting, in the same way a walking in on a situation involving Spike, a gorilla disguised as Pinkie Pie and 60 pony-sized gelatin molds could be considered interesting: for all the wrong reasons.
“Did you have fun?” AJ asked in return.
Fluttershy wasn’t paying attention. Instead, she had continued to focus on her dainty little hooves, hooves which were now drawing small pictures in the dirt. Applejack looked down at the doodles she was making. All of them were tiny hearts. She looked back to Fluttershy’s face. Once again, she looked rather dopey. Half shut eyes, a drooly smile, staring off into space like in a dream... Applejack knew this face all too well. It was familiar in that she knew both the look…and the feel. Now, Applejack wasn’t the smartest apple on the tree, but she had both seen and experienced enough things in her lifetime to know the feeling that Fluttershy was feeling:
Fluttershy was in love.
Applejack smiled. Fluttershy in love? Could she really be…? Well, if she was, then good for her, right? It meant she had a special somepony. Well, at least, she had feeling for one. Applejack knew better than anypony that just because she was in love, did not mean she actually had somepony to be her own just yet. Most likely, Shy’s situation was like her own. Knowing Fluttershy, she was probably in love with somepony, but too scared to ask them out. In fact, Applejack saw this as an opportunity. This might be her chance to finally talk to somepony about her own problem. If she could get Fluttershy to open up about it, then they could talk. If anypony would understand her predicament, it would be her. Even if Fluttershy would be unable to help her, it would feel good to get this stupid thing off her chest. Her thoughts needed to be straightened out. The pressure of asking Rainbow out before somepony else did was…heavy.
“Fluttershy?” Applejack said, trying to get her attention. She was still looking down at the dirt doodles. She didn’t seem to hear the orange pony. ”Fluttershy!?” she said again, this time a bit louder, but not so loud as to scare her. Fluttershy was startled at most when she looked up. She looked straight into Applejack eyes.
“Are ya’ll feelin’ alright?” Applejack asked with concern. Even though she knew the answer, she still wanted the words to come from Fluttershy’s mouth. “Is anything wrong?”
Fluttershy smiled and shook her head. “Oh no, Applejack. Everything is perfectly fine. Simply…” she looked off to the side, staring once again in a daydream, “…wonderful.” She sighed blissfully.
Applejack decided now was a good time to push forward. “What exactly is so…uh, wonderful?” she asked.
This ‘interrogation’ of sorts came to a close much sooner than Applejack thought it would. Because she had eased Fluttershy into such a peaceful state of mind, Fluttershy let her guard down and let one thing slip: Without even thinking about where she was or who she was speaking to, Fluttershy spoke. “Oh. I have such a wonderful evening planned tonight; a date with-”
Not a second after the accursed words escaped her lips, did Fluttershy realize what she had said. Fluttershy put a hoof over her mouth to stop herself from revealing too much, but the damage was done. Enough had fallen upon Applejack’s keen ears to nearly give herself away completely. Nearly.
Applejack just stood there, grinning from ear to ear. There it was, straight from the horse’s mouth. Fluttershy had a special somepony. Not only that, but she had a date with them tonight! Applejack felt any emotions at this confirmation: excitement, pride, and a little hint of other emotions. The excitement came from the knowledge of her friend, their own little Fluttershy, finally found herself a special somepony. Her pride swelled from already having a hunch about it. Sort of an ‘I called it’ feeling. The other mix of emotions was…strange. As good as she felt, she also felt something else; something…dark and sad. Ignoring these other thoughts, Applejack went over to her friend.
Applejack grinned from ear to ear. “Well, Ah’ll be!” Never would have guessed. Our little Fluttershy has found herself a special somepony!” Applejack wrapped her arm around Fluttershy’s neck in a quick hug. She felt happy for her friend.
Fluttershy blushed. Her previous cheery attitude had vanished, its place taken up by uncertainty and nervousness. Her cheeks were red hot. If there was ever a time when Fluttershy wished she could become invisible, now would be a good time. She didn’t want to tell her. She didn’t want Applejack to know like this. Her reaction suggested she didn’t know about it. How much did she know? How much could she say?
“Well, c’mon.” Applejack bent in a bit closer, “Who’s your special somepony?”
Fluttershy avoided eye contact. She didn’t want this to be happening. He was supposed to… No. She wouldn’t tell Applejack. Not now… Not yet. She couldn’t… She wouldn’t… She couldn’t do that to her.
“I…can’t tell you.” Fluttershy finally said her voice as small as ever.
Applejack was not shocked at her response. She knew Fluttershy would be shy and nervous about this topic. It would be hard for the timid mare to speak out. But she knew Fluttershy could do it. She just needed a little bit of a push.
“Sure ya can, Sugarcube!” Applejack reassured the yellow pegasus, “Ya can tell me. We’re friends, right!”
Fluttershy still looked scared. Even Applejack’s pep talk didn’t seem to be having an effect. She was lost in deep thought at the moment, deciding how to proceed. She was uncertain. She hadn’t planned for this. She leaned over sideway, looking beyond Applejack’s face. Finally making up her mind, Fluttershy spoke. “Um... I think it’d be best if you asked him yourself…”
Confused, Applejack turned around to see what Fluttershy was getting at. She turned around to see…nothing. There was nothing of particular interest. Just the bench she had sat in when Fluttershy arrived and the trusty old barn-
Wait! She did see something. It was out of the corner of her eye, and it was only for an instant, but Applejack was sure she saw something; she caught a glimpse of someone going into the barn! It must be Fluttershy’s coltfriend! Intrigued, Applejack gave chase. Entering the barn, she quickly made a full observation of the barn. She saw nothing. Nopony was there. Nopony except…Big Macintosh?
Big Mac held a bucket in his mouth. He was walking calmly around the barn, in his work stride, just as Applejack had been this morning. He hardly noticed her as she came in. Applejack stepped towards her brother. He finally noticed her when he turned around and nearly crashed into her! He stepped back and put down the bucket he was carrying.
“Hey AJ.” He looked back up and noticed the look on her face, “Something the matter?”
Applejack turned back to her brother for a moment. “Ya didn’t see anypony come in here, did ya?” She asked, eyeing the place like she was expecting Pinkie Pie to jump out and try to prank her, which may or may not have been a distinct possibility.
Big Mac shook his head. “Nope, didn’t see nopony no how. ‘cept you.” He added.
Applejack gained a very puzzled look on her face. She could tell he was telling the truth. He had to be. His eye wasn’t twitching. But that didn’t make sense… Big Mac heard the barn door open for a second time. Looking behind where Applejack was standing, he saw Fluttershy enter the barn. For a split second, he wore a face of shock and disbelief. As keen an observer as Applejack was, she was too busy looking for the mysterious coltfriend and did not notice his reaction.
Applejack was confused again. “What? B-but… Fluttershy said her coltfriend was in here!” she turned around to come face to face with the star pony herself, Fluttershy. “Ya weren’t lying, were ya!?” she said a little bit harsher than would be appropriate.
Fluttershy winced at the yelling and nervously looked down. She didn’t want to be a part of this. Applejack stopped for a moment to think. No. She wasn’t lying. Applejack knew better than anypony. She said ‘ask him yourself’ at the moment somepony went in the barn. And Big Mac wasn’t lying that he was the only one here. If he was the only one…
And then it dawned on her.
…
Applejack lay motionless. Her body did not move, save for the light rising and falling of her chest as she breathed. Just moments before, it had been rising and falling quickly and sporadically. No, she was not crying. Applejack did not cry. She was a tough, unbreakable pony. She did not cry so easily. However, she did feel saddened. Applejack did get sad. It was only natural for her to feel sad. After what had happened, how could one not be? As sad as she felt, tears did not roll down her cheeks. She did not cry, especially over something like this. No, Applejack did not cry.
Her bedroom was nearly silent. Nearly. The open window produced the only sound in the room, sending a soft whisper of winds to Applejack’s ears. It was surprisingly calming. The noonday sun shone through, casting a large area of celestial warmth onto the bed. The warm sun reminded Applejack that the daylight was burning and she still had chores to do. The world would not wait for one pony, and neither would her work. But, how could she work like this? She didn’t feel like leaving her room, let alone working. Besides, Big Mac probably had it covered…
As still as Applejack may lie, her brain was noisy and busy. Thoughts of Fluttershy, Big Macintosh, Rainbow Dash and herself all buzzed around her head. Her mind was running a mile a minute, backwards. She could hardly control her own thoughts. Like she did with the night after the Hay & Bale, she replayed what happened over and over. Then she thought about the implications. Then she thought about how her hoof itched. Then she thought about what happened in the barn again…
...
“What? B-but… You…and-and her? I… She… W-what!?” Applejack was still trying to figure out exactly what the hay was going on. She wasn’t sure if she should be mad, shocked or happy. Maybe a little bit of all three.
Fluttershy walked around the blubbering Applejack to stand beside her coltfriend. She took one look at Applejack and immediately hid herself behind her hair, letting Mac take it from there. Mac stood as strong as silent as ever. He only moved to positioned himself slightly in front of Fluttershy, almost in a protective way. In retrospect of what he was expecting to happen next, this was probably a wise move.
Applejack stopped talking and trailed off. She looked rather stunned. For a while, nopony said anything. Everypony shut up for a minute to think about what to say. Big Mac had some explaining to do…
After a draught of words, Big Mac was the first to speak. “AJ…” he began very calmly and smoothly, “Ah’m sorry you had to find out like this…”
Applejack shook her head and finally regained herself. She felt shaky…shocked, relieved, angry, sad, happy... A fury of emotions built up inside her, all wanting to be released. Emotions swirled in her head and in her heart, stemming from both the events transpiring now, and the events of the past few days. Without thinking, Applejack released her storm of emotions at her brother and her friend.
“Oh, right! Ya’ll are sorry! That makes up for everything! It makes everything great! I mean, not telling me ya have a girlfriend is one thing. One thing Ah might be able to overlook, considering it ain’t my business n’ all. But the fact your girlfriend is one of my friends!?” she directed her attention to Fluttershy, “An’ NEITHER of ya tell me! Ah had to drag half of it out of Fluttershy and figure out the rest myself! ” She finished, practically foaming at the mouth. Her nostrils flared as she breathed heavily in anger. Anger? Was it as simple as that to explain how she felt?
Both Mac and Fluttershy sunk lower at her yelling. They could tell this had affected her more than they thought it would. Big Mac sighed and spoke, “Listen. Ah’m sorry Ah didn’t tell you. That we didn’t tell you.” he motioned back to Fluttershy. She just hung her head in shame.
Mac continued. “It’s just that, well,” he paused, looking for the right words, “Ah noticed that, fer the past few days, yuh seem to be um, preoccupied…with other things. Ah saw you walking ‘bout, mumbling and thinking and worrying about stuff. Ah didn’t want to burden you more with news like this so Ah was gonna keep it quiet for a better time.” He looked away, “Ah didn’t think it would affect you so much.” He hung his head as well, as if it way his way of begging for forgiveness. “Ah’m sorry.”
By this time, Applejack had calmed down quite a bit. She no longer looked very angry, rather, just upset. She simply frowned. Again, nopony said anything. A silence, thick enough that Applejack could have bucked it in half, fell upon the group. Some very awkward time passed. Suddenly, Applejack’s frown faded and a sort of ‘half smile’ crept its way onto her face. She couldn’t stay mad at them. No matter how stupidly they went about it, they were still her friends, (and family).
“…okay.” She spoke very softly, “Ah guess Ah can’t be too sore at ya. Ah have been rather, er… busy.” Her mind flashed an image of her beloved Rainbow Dash as she said the last word. “It’s…revealing ta say least. That you two would…” She left the sentence hanging, but everypony knew what she meant.
Fluttershy slowly poked her head out from behind Big Mac. During the conversation, she had cowered down even further, ending up completely hidden behind her protective coltfriend. Emerging from her pony shield, Fluttershy stepped towards Applejack. She awkwardly rubbed one hoof behind her other leg, unsure what to say.
“So…you’re okay? With us, I mean?” she said.
Applejack smiled kindly and nodded. “Of course. I’m happy for you two.” Fluttershy smiled back and hugged her friend. Applejack returned the friendly gesture and put her hooves around Fluttershy. She looked back up to Big Mac and simply gave him a nod of approval. Mac nodded in reply and smiled. That was all he needed.
“Thank you, Applejack. This means a lot.” Fluttershy was happy. She gained the approval of her friend. That was one less thing she had to worry about. The baby bunnies that still needed applesauce were still something to worry about, but she would get to that later…
Applejack stepped down from the embrace. Her smiled gained a funny expression of thought. “But…one thing’s bugging me. How did…? I mean, when did you two- You know, become you two?”
Big Mac and Fluttershy both glanced at each other. Their eyes fell into each other’s like bucked apples fall into a bucket. Fluttershy continued to explain just how she and Big Mac got together. It was a rather cliché and cheesy tale, but romantic nonetheless:
One night, Fluttershy was at home, reading alone. She had completed everything that needed to be done that day and was just relaxing. Just then, there was a knock at the door. But, when she went to see who it was, there was nopony there. At first she thought it to be just a simple prank. Maybe Pinkie finally found a way to prank her without making her cry. After a closer inspection of the place however, she did notice something that did not belong there. Something that she did not mind somepony leaving at her doorstep: a single rose. She was both flattered and confused about this sudden gesture. She had a special somepony. Not only that, but a secret special somepony! She had a secret admirer. The next night, as she contemplated who her special somepony might be, another knock at the door interrupted her. Once again, nopony was there. A lone rose lay on her door once more. This piqued Fluttershy’s curiosity.
And so, this went on for quite some time. Night after night, Fluttershy would receive a rose at her door, and day after day, she would wonder who it was. She had no clues to go on, simply a collection of roses, all of which she put in a vase of water by her bedside. It could have been anypony. She did not tell anypony about it, for obvious reasons. She was normally shy about regular things, so to have a secret admirer was an extremely taboo thing to talk about, as Applejack found out herself. So, for the next couple of weeks, Fluttershy kept the information about the roses, and her admirer, to herself. Her curiosity grew and grew until one night she could take it no more. She wanted to catch her special somepony in the action. It wasn’t that simple though. They were very tricky in that they never left the roses at the same time. Anytime from 9pm to midnight, there would be a knock. Fluttershy allowed for this and prepared. She gathered her bird friends to alert her when somepony would step onto the premises. Long story short, it worked. Fluttershy caught the mysterious rose-bearer red hoofed! And of course, caught laying a rose on her doorstep, was the one and only Big Macintosh. With his secret out, Big Mac confessed everything.
When one pony tells their side of a story, that’s all it is: one side. As romantic as Fluttershy’s story was, there was a lot more to it on Big Mac’s part. After Fluttershy had told her side to the story, he continued to explain exactly what he felt about her, and why he did what he did: Ever since Big Macintosh had first laid eyes on Fluttershy, he thought she was the most beautiful mare he had ever seen. And after last fall, when Big Mac danced with Fluttershy at the harvest dance, he had fallen in love with her. He longed for her. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t think of her. She was the light of his life. But, as strong and calm as he may appear, he was just as shy as her. He could not bring himself to talk to her, so he devised a plan to let her know his affections by leaving her one dozen roses, one by one.
As he told his tale, Applejack couldn’t help but spot the glaring similarities between Big Mac’s story and her own situation: the shyness, the affection, the emotion. Just like her… The only difference: Big Mac acted upon his feelings, instead of doing nothing. And look where it got him.
After the story was complete, Applejack smiled. It was a smile that conveyed happiness and joy of other’s benefit and happiness. Looking back, she had convinced them pretty good with that smile. It looked like she was actually happy for them. But, if she didn’t, then why did the smile feel so natural? Perhaps it was because she actually was happy?
At any rate, Applejack had only a few words left to say. Expressing her excitement for Fluttershy, she wished her a romantic and long lasting relationship. She then turned to her older brother and told him to be good to her friend and take care of her properly. Because if he didn’t she would hunt him down and hurt him real bad. After making sure her point was made, she left a calm and grateful Fluttershy and a rather nervous Big Mac alone in the barn.
…
So here she was now, lying alone in her room. She was uncertain how to feel. A large portion of the emotions she felt was consumed sadness. Part jealously and part pity. She tried to feel happy for her brother and her friend, but she could not bring herself to. That was supposed to be her with a romantic love story and a special somepony. She didn’t want to take away what he had, but rather, she wanted what he had as well. Why did he get to be happy and not her? The answer was as clear as day, but not to Applejack. Perhaps she was just too thick headed to see it at the time. The initial shock of the discovery had worn away, but she still was confused.
She didn’t understand why she felt so bad when good things happened. Well, the good things weren’t happening to her, but- Waitaminute! Feeling bad about other’s happiness? That made her sound horrible. She wasn’t a horrible pony, was she? She was simply jealous. All ponies feel jealously from time to time, right? And sadness…
Applejack stared at her ceiling. It wasn’t fair! Big Macintosh gets to be happy and she doesn’t? He took the cowards way of being ‘mysterious’ and sneaky and still gets her. Would Applejack have to resort to doing the same?
She rolled over. Yet, maybe there was hope? Big Mac was shy, but he took a stand and got the mare of his dreams. Why couldn’t she? If she followed her brother’s footsteps, could she be happy too? But she couldn’t just copy his idea. Leaving roses at Rainbow’s doorstep was not only cowardly and unoriginal, but simply impossible. Rainbow Dash lived in a cloud. No, she’d have to think of something else. What, pray tell? Well, she was right back where she left off: absolutely no clue.
Applejack sighed. It was last night all over again, the same conclusion to boot. She rolled over and pulled the covers over her head in an attempt to just have peace and quiet inside her own mind. She continued to stay in her room for another few minutes before accidentally nodding off to sleep. Even if she had planned on staying awake, what on earth as she supposed to do? Things felt extremely awkward as it was, even if they weren’t. Dang it. Applejack hoped she’d understand her emotions one day.
And maybe one day, she’d finally understand love.
Applejack liked to talk. She liked to hear others talk. She thought of the spoken word as a crucial standpoint in communication. Yet despite her outward friendliness and tendency to talk a lot, Applejack was very poor at small talk. If there was a comment to be made or some important things to discuss, she could let fly with words no problem! When there was a large group, she tended to be quieter, but could still offer her opinion on the matter at hand. When there was nothing going on, however, she usually drew a blank.
This was another one of her faults. It was why Applejack tended to be alone when there was nothing important other than farm work to be done. Perhaps in her ability to create small talk was another reason Applejack liked Rainbow so much. No, Rainbow Dash was not the best at small talk either. Flying and racing hardly left time to talk during a race or practice. Small talk wasn’t exactly her forte either, but she could keep a conversation going longer than AJ. She would talk about whatever big race or daring trick she was interested at the moment.
When she and Applejack had conversations like these, Applejack often was more like her brother in that she was often silent but observant, offering her comments or opinions here and there. However, when the topic of conversation ran dry, (which it often did with Rainbow Dash), she would turn to Applejack for something interesting. Just like her fast and busy attitude, Rainbow hardly could keep silent when nothing was going on. Boring! She would say, and proceed to ask about a different topic.
Unfortunately for Applejack, the topic that she wanted to ask about was exactly number 3 on her list of things she did not want to talk about with Rainbow Dash; right behind the night before last and Rainbow Dash herself. Apparently, Rainbow Dash had caught wind of the recent hook up between Fluttershy and Big Mac. She hadn’t gotten all of the details, but knew enough that they were going out. Rainbow Dash was never really one for gossip and rumors unless it was either really cool or somehow involved her. When it was about her, she usually acted upon it, as three little fillies found out the hard way. This was not actually about her, but hit a as close to home as it could. Her best friend since flight school was getting hitched? This she had to know about.
Why on Celestia’s green earth she didn’t ask Fluttershy herself, Applejack could not answer. But what she could answer, she really did not want to say. The story of her brother was way too similar to her own; she did not want to talk her problems, or other ponies’ problems similar to hers. But she did her best and recollected the events that she was told. She told her all about Fluttershy and Big Macintosh and their little romantic excursion. She didn’t go into detail about how she had to fight to earn this information. She decided Rainbow did not need to know that, and was not relevant to the story anyway.
“Aha ha ha ha!” Rainbow Dash laughed her head off. “Wow! That’s both reeeeally cheesy and really cute!” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. Her sides began to ache. She nearly fell out the sky, she was laughing so much.
“Heh heh. Yeah, I didn’t believe it at first, either.” Applejack said as she watched Rainbow nearly crash into about a dozen trees. “It’s pretty cheesy, but it looks like it worked…”
Both the cyan pegasus and the orange farm pony were currently walking through the Sweet Apple orchards. Well, one was walking, while the other preferred to fly. Applejack had come out in the morning to find Rainbow sleeping in their trees again. After a quick buck to get her up, Rainbow decided to walk and talk, or rather fly and talk, with Applejack. The early morning dew that the pegasi had doused the farm had gathered on the leaves and apples, causing a crisp wet smell in the air that reminded Applejack of how Cloudsdale smelled on her visit there; like warm rainclouds.
Rainbow flew down and landed next to AJ. Applejack became distraught t her incessant laughter and she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. But, Rainbow Dash was laughing at Fluttershy at Big Mac, not Applejack herself right? But Applejack knew better. She knew that this little story was a lot more personal than just her brother and her friend, even though they were pretty damn personal. She felt the same way Big Mac did about Fluttershy; right down to the inability to confront their love. Rainbow apparently found this hilarious.
Of course, Rainbow had no idea that she was effectively laughing at the very pony right in front of her. But if Rainbow found this tale this funny, imagine how she would react if she found out that Applejack had the exact same feelings. And not only the same feelings, but for Rainbow Dash herself! She was the star of her own little show and didn’t even know it. Completely unaware that she was the catalyst for all these struggling emotions, Rainbow went along, happy and lazy.
Applejack avoided eye contact as they walked and just looked up to the trees. Finally, it seemed as though the laughter tank in Rainbow’s gut had run dry. Guffaws petered out to little chuckles before finally stopping completely. Applejack bent her head down slightly and lowered her brow. She mentally blew a sigh of relief. Rainbow just continued to smile and walk. “Heh. So those two…” she left the sentence unfinished. She shook her head. “Well, I can’t say I saw it coming.”
Applejack looked over to the cyan pegasus. Was she just as surprised as her to discover this relationship? Well, she was Fluttershy’s best friend since they were just fillies. This probably affected her quite a bit as well. Maybe not as much as, say, a family member would, but still…
“Really? Huh. Ah guess Ah didn’t either.” Applejack said, trying to keep the conversation about this at minimum. “Ya think maybe we’d have noticed something like that...” Applejack hypocritically continued. Really, how did she not see her own brother’s affections towards somepony, when hers were a dead giveaway? If they really were that similar, Applejack should have noticed… Right?
“Hm. Maybe you should’ve.” Rainbow smirked, showing her teeth in a playful manner, “But I’m not really one to notice that kind boring thing.” She winked as she did when she was playing around.
Applejack couldn’t help but smile in a similar way. Not only at Rainbow’s remark, but at her own stupidity that to think Rainbow would catch on to her similar feelings and attitude towards her. Even if she thought she was sending off her signals of affection rather loudly, it seemed to fall on deaf ears. Damn. Well at least she knew no that her previous methods of subtle flirts and signals were not working. Maybe this was a good thing? All she had to do was find a new way of presenting herself. And much more loudly this time.
“So… how are you holding up? Like, I mean, it’s your brother. Are you…cool with it?” asked the rainbow maned pony.
“Hm? Yeah, Ah reckon Ah’m good with it. Can’t really do much ‘bout it anyways.” Applejack was okay with it. She was just was confused. Why could Big Mac get his happiness, and not her? Didn’t seem fair, she thought. “How ‘bout you? Ah know you and Shy have been friends for a lot longer than we have.”
“Yeah, I guess I’m happy for them. About time Fluttershy found somepony, anyway…” Rainbow smiled again. “I thought she’d be alone forever.” Applejack could help but find a small tone of jealousy in her voice. Was she longing for her own somepony, too?
“Ah kinda thought it’d be a while ‘fore Mac was seein’ anypony… Then Ah guess he met Fluttershy.” Applejack reminisced about Big Mac’s past as well as her own. She never really thought much about her brother’s love life as she did her own. She was rather negligent about thinking about other ponies’ lives. Go figure.
“Hm. I guess he got her in the end.” Rainbow dropped her smiling attitude and thought for a moment. “Can’t say I agree with his ridiculous methods, though.” She added.
“Beg pardon?” Applejack was slightly confused, and very much interested. Was she getting at what she thought she was getting at? Was she offering her opinion on dating methods! This could be extremely important.
Rainbow gave a sort of half-frown; one that showed resent and disappointment. “What I mean is: he was in love with her, right?” Applejack nodded, trying to hide her giddiness. Rainbow continued, “Well, if he liked her, he shoulda just told her! I hate it when ponies try to hide stuff behind other stuff, ya know?”
“I like it better when things are told as they are. Straight forward truth! Like how you are.” Turning to Applejack, she gave a soft smile.
Suddenly, Applejack felt something. She couldn’t quite say what it was she felt, but it was very important. Somehow, it felt familiar, but much clearer. Whatever that meant. From the bottom of her mind rose up a tingling feeling that tickled her thoughts. It was difficult to explain, as even Applejack could not tell what it was. Whatever it was, it felt…good. Some sort of very good idea was floating in her mind, yet t’was hidden from knowledge, teetering on the edge of consciousness. The feeling swirled around for a moment, growing ever so slightly in beauty and might, before vanishing. Where did you go, oh wondrous idea?
Rainbow had no idea about any of this and continued to speak. “I mean c’mon… Why can’t more ponies just be all upfront about stuff? If you’re in love, just tell them! See what happens. Just let her know how ya feel! At least it’d be a bit more respectful...”
And that’s when it clicked.
Applejack’s idea came rushing back to her tenfold. A sudden realization dowsed her like rainclouds dowsed a fire. She felt a sense of glee and extreme excitement build up inside her. Her heart was ablaze with fiery emotion and bliss. She finally understood. She understood with such clarity and revelation. She felt breathless. That’s it! That was it! The missing piece to this whole mess! It seemed so obvious now. It felt like she already knew it, but didn’t realize it until now. She needed something to reassure her that this was the correct choice. Now, she was absolutely positive. She felt as though she could do it this time.
Rainbow noticed that Applejack had been awfully quiet for a while and looked back to come face to face with the biggest smile she had ever seen! She was taken aback for a moment, unsure what to do. She couldn’t think of any words to say. Applejack just stared into space, obviously thinking about something…but what? What the hay was Applejack so happy about? Now, had this been Pinkie Pie that was simply smiling and staring into nothingness, maybe it wouldn’t have seemed too weird, but the serious and down to earth Applejack? That was more than strange…
Well whatever it was she was thinking of, it didn’t seem that important to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow noticed just then that they had walked the entire length of the orchards and were now standing in front of the Apple family home. The large house was just a few feet over. Were they going to go in, or just stand around gawking outside at nothing all day?
The two mares just stood there rather awkwardly as the time passed. Well, whatever Applejack wanted to do with her day was up to her, but this bird had to fly. Rainbow pondered what to do before realizing that pretty much anything was more exciting than this.
“Well, I gotta get going.” She spread her magnificent wings and pushed up, leaping into the air with grace and speed. “Gotta do practice and stuff. Nice chat!”
Applejack snapped back out of her thoughts and into reality. She looked around. Rainbow was leaving. She finally figured it out and now her chance was literally flying away. Sure, she might get another chance to see Rainbow Dash, but would it be too late by then? Would the next time she saw her, she had another somepony with her! Applejack couldn’t allow it. She knew what she had to do, and she had to do it right here.
Right now.
Seeing no reason to stick around, Rainbow decided to blow this cider stand. “Well, see ya around!” called the speed demon as she began to zoom away into the wild blue yonder.
Applejack said nothing as the love of her life flew off…
...
RAINBOW DASH!
Applejack yelled louder than she thought possible. Her voice screamed through the air, loud and clear. She was certain that Rainbow had heard it, because the sudden outburst scared her so much that she nearly fell out of the sky. She swung around and headed back to her friend, both startled and very perplexed.
“Wow! What the hay! You scared…I mean, startled the heck out me!” Rainbow held her hoof to her chest, taking deep breaths. “So what is it?”
Applejack was still surprised at her assertiveness and gave an awkward smile. “Heh. Um yeah… I kinda forgot to say something… Had to catch ya before ya left.” She scratched behind her head.
Applejack took a few breaths of her own. She had absolutely no idea what to say. No, that was a lie. She knew what had to be done. She had to do it. Rainbow was looking right at her. She expected an answer to her ridiculous outburst. Well, here it was. Just say it.
“Ah…” Applejack began. For a split second, she froze. And in that fraction of an instant, doubt flashed in her mind. Such a familiar doubt that had haunted her for so long. A doubt that always made her cringe at the thought; one that made her scared and shy. No. No more. She could do this. No more hiding. Be straight and true.
C’mon. Be strong. Be confident. For Rainbow. ...For yourself.
“Ah’m having a picnic later tonight. Down by the lake. Ah was hoping you could come.”
Wow. That was simply pitiful. Well, at least she did it. There it was. It was out there. She asked Rainbow Dash out on a picnic. Not just a regular picnic, a date. Applejack’s mind was so full, and yet so empty. A million things could have been rushing through her mind, all very plausible and reasonable. Yet they did not seem to matter right now. Right now, all she cared about was waiting for Rainbow to talk.
“Oh, yeah sure. Sounds nice.” Rainbow said calmly. She stretched her hooves above her head what they were discussing was nothing. ”Not planning on doing much tonight anyway… Uh, what time?”
“Um… 7?” Applejack said off of the top of her head.
In truth, Applejack was lying. Yes, even the element of honesty lied. She did not any of this actually prepared, nor did she actually plan any of this. She acted as though she really did have a nice picnic planned that evening. If that really was true, perhaps it would have been a tad easier to say she did. In reality, she was making all up off of the top of her head.
“K see ya then!” Rainbow called back as she flew off again, hoping not to be interrupted again.
Really, for the element of Honesty, she was damn good at faking and lying.
Applejack wordlessly waved back at the continuously shrinking speck that was Rainbow Dash until she could see it no more.
Well, there she was. She did it. She actually did it. She had a date with Rainbow Dash, a real one this time. It was initiated by her, so she could control exactly what was ready and waiting for her: a nice, romantic date with Rainbow Dash. No Rarity, no Twilight, no Pinkie, and no Fluttershy. Just the two of them alone. Sure, she may have made up the entire thing on the spot, but her heart was in the right place. Besides, she’d bet her hat that Rainbow Dash did the same thing half of the time. If it worked for Rainbow, why couldn’t she give it a try?
Applejack looked away from the tiny spot of sky where Rainbow had vanished into. She noticed the sun and its position in the sky. If she was to make this date happen, she would have to hurry; she had to finish her chores, prepare the picnic, and prepare herself. This would be a very important night in Applejack’s life. One she would not soon forget. She turned back and went inside the house to begin her plan.
Finally, Applejack had what she needed. And in a short time, she would have what she truly and dearly wanted.
LATER THAT NIGHT
The lake outside of Ponyville was the only spot that Applejack could think to hold a romantic date? Why? There must have been a dozen other places that where just as good, if not better. She could have suggested a nice cloud field by the sunset, for example. Then her beloved Rainbow Dash could take flight and have fun! Then again, clouds weren’t the best for earth ponies to get to. A simple cloud-walking spell from Twilight could have sufficed, but then questions would be raised that she didn’t want to be answered.
Well, the lake was nice enough, she supposed. The sparkle of the clear water glinted as the sun overhead began to go down. The sunset was incredible. Amazing hues of orange and purple glowed in the sky. The weather was just right, too. Well, maybe it was the perfect place for a first date. Not too shabby, at least.
Here it was all set up and nice. She had tried to think of the most romantic element to a date and tried to replicate them. She skimmed over all the romance novels she had and picked out the applicable traits to a romantic date. Picnic, sunset, something special for your special somepony…all the good stuff.
Her trusty old picnic blanket was spread out on the grass. She had placed it underneath a tree nearby the lake, perfect for observing the sunset. It was laid out in a smooth manner; absolutely no creases or folds. The obsessive compulsive Twilight would have been proud. In the middle of the blanket sat her trusty old basket. Hidden inside said basket sat a fresh home-baked apple pie. Rainbow’s favourite. She took special care in preparing it just right. Her Rainbow Dash deserved only the best. She wanted it so that she could make Rainbow say, “This is the most radical pie ever! It’s the coolest pie ever, you’re awesome, Applejack!” Well, maybe not quite like that, but something along those lines. She wanted Rainbow to have good time. She wanted Rainbow to be in love with her. She just had to play it right.
Her beautiful set –up of romantic dinner was one of the most proud things she’d done in a while. That wasn’t to say she knew Rainbow Dash would take into appreciating all her hard work.
Rainbow liked it when people where straight forward right? Then it was simple: just have a slice of pie, and let it all out. It’s what she wanted, was it not? She thought back to her conversation earlier in the day:
“I like it better when things are told as they are. Straight forward truth! Like how you are.”
A mildly warm breeze snuck its way around Applejack’s legs as she stood on the hill overlooking the lake. It was just as Rainbow liked this weather, when she was relaxing that is. A good thunderstorm always got her ready for a race, but gentle breeze made her very lazy and calm. The sky was mostly clear. A small cloud here and there decorated the immediate sky, while larger clumps were spread amongst the horizon, reflecting the sun’s glow back at such an angle that would create the perfect sunset. At least, that’s what the pegasus she paid off to move the clouds said. Soon the sun would be setting, and soon Rainbow would arrive.
Soon the truth would be revealed.
…
Applejack expected Rainbow to be late. Not that she thought she wanted to be fashionably late, but knowing RD… She swore that mare would be late to her own funeral. Applejack patiently waited under the tree. Time ticked away as no sign of Rainbow Dash presented itself.
Applejack had taken extra care in preparing herself just right. She knew that this was a true date, and did not need to worry about other arriving or judging. She put on her best hat, and cleaned up as well as she could. Hay, she even put a comb to her mane once or twice. She wanted to make a good impression on Rainbow Dash.
She wasn’t worried. Well, maybe a bit. But it wasn’t like she was winging it, as good as a plan it might be. She could do this. She had a plan to go by. She knew what to do.
As time rolled on, Applejack began to get a little worried. As carefree and forgetful as she could be, Rainbow wasn’t usually this late. She expected her around half past seven, but it was getting on to 8:15 and still no signs of the rainbow maned pony. The mild weather kept Applejack’s ears from becoming full of ringing by gently caressing her ears with the soft sound of the wind. She closed her eyes for a moment and began imagining that it was Rainbow, nibbling on her ear in a playful and flirtatious manner. She pictured the colourful strands of hair tickling her nose as Rainbow’s lips danced across her ears. She could almost feel Rainbow’s body heat curled up next to hers. Oh, how she longed for it. How she longed for her special somepony…
“Applejack!”
Speak of the devil, there she was now.
The quiet nibbling turned into loud biting as a gust of wind rushed over Applejack. She heard a flap of wings followed by a loud ‘thump’! She felt the wind coming from the arrival of the other pony rustle the blanket. She could tell without looking it was messed up and folded. So much for her hard work…
Opening her eyes, she nearly burst with joy when she saw the one pony she wanted to see the most: Rainbow Dash. She took a moment to admire her crush; just looking with longing eyes. Her mane was a multicoloured mess, her beautiful blue wings stood proud and tall, and her magnificent magenta eyes looked just as lovely as ever. She noticed that Rainbow had not taken the time or effort to clean up in a more presentable fashion. She looked like normal. Applejack though it was great; Rainbow had a natural beauty about her. The ‘true blue you’ she called it.
Applejack couldn’t help but smile as Rainbow Dash did. She always made her smile. Rainbow walked over to the picnic area, which had taken a recent bit of messing up by yours truly. Not that Applejack minded.
“Hey there! Sorry I’m late, I got sidetracked and sorta lost track of time, you know how it goes…” Rainbow said, trying to smile and play it off.
Applejack nodded. “Don’t sweat none about it, Sugarcube. Didn’t keep me that long…” She lied again. Rainbow had kept her waiting worrying for a while. But it did turn good when her fantasies took over.
“Ah just hope the pie hasn’t gone cold…” Applejack said in an alluring tone. She motioned towards the basket that held the delectable treat.
Rainbow lit up at the mention of pie. “What? Pie!?”
“Yup. My homemade special Apple pie with extra cinnamon. Just the way ya like it!” Applejack gave a sly smile.
Rainbow could just run up and kiss her favourite apple baker right then and there. “You are so awesome, Applejack!” Rainbow smiled brightly.
Here we go. Step one: get Rainbow in a good mood with food. Easy enough.
Applejack flipped the basket open. She peered inside and her heart sank. She knew it. She knew this would happen if one waited to long for pie. She had made enough pies in her life to just know. She could tell just by looking and it. Staring at the pastry with disappointment, she frowned. She looked back up to the eager Rainbow Dash. She was hungry and ready to eat pie! It killed AJ to have to say this, but if she was going to be truthful about her feelings, what was a simple pie? She prayed Rainbow wouldn’t be disappointed.
“Uh…heh. Shoot. Um, sorry, Rainbow… Looks like…” Applejack tried her best to let her down easy.
“Oh. It actually is cold…” Rainbow said sadly. She looked down, mulling in the repercussions of her own tardiness.
“Well, a bit. See, it’s still good to eat, but it’s not-“
Rainbow didn’t care. She reached right in and pulled herself out an unhealthy amount of apple pie. The warm delicious pastry still tasted pretty darn good to her. Applejack looked on. She should have known. Even though Applejack knew apple pies her whole life, inside and out, and could tell when the optimal temperature to eat it had passed, Rainbow just liked pie. Still, Applejack wanted the best for her Dashie.
As Rainbow munched away on her delectable treat, Applejack decided to have a piece herself. Might as well, she thought. Better than letting it all go to waste…or into Rainbow’s stomach. The mares were silent as they ate. Rainbow’s face held a steady smile, when it wasn’t wide open getting pie shoved in it.
It was nice, just sitting there. Not a word need be spoken. Applejack felt at peace. Everything was perfect: the setting sun, the warm pie, and of course, her beautiful Rainbow Dash. What more could she want? So far, this date had been a success, despite the cold food and darkness of the hour. It seemed everything would be fine. Seemed.
“So…where’s the rest of the group?” Rainbow asked from the blue.
“?” This caught Applejack off guard. Of all the things to come from Rainbow’s mouth, this was not one she expected.
Dash turned to Applejack, “Like, is Twilight studying and Pinkie still hung over, or…?”
Did Rainbow not understand what this was? Was she misinformed about a little date? Well, now the tables were turned, weren’t they? How to break this to her…truthfully? “Um… To tell ya the truth, Ah never invited ‘em.” Applejack confessed.
“Oh?” Rainbow finished off her pie. She reached over and put her hoof in the basket to grab another piece. Her hoof hit the bottom of the basket. She looked in the basket for her piece of pie before realizing there was none left. They ate it all. “So it’s just us, then…”
“Yup, just us. All alone.” Applejack confirmed. She hoped Rainbow knew that that meant.
“Okay…” Rainbow said, trying her best to hide the apparent awkwardness.
No more words were exchanged. Applejack finished the last of her pie as Rainbow said nothing but played with the glass. Rainbow looked at the sunset that was nearly faded away. What she did see, however, made her smile. The orange and purple of the sunset was accompanied by the dark blues of the remaining sky above, which in turn complimented the oranges in a beautiful scene. Truly it was indescribable. Looks like the clouds paid off. Time passed. The two said nothing. It was getting rather dark now. The two mares just sat in silence. Awkward silence…
It was weird. Here she was: on a date with her beloved Rainbow Dash. The not-so-perfect pie a side, everything was going well, right? Then why did it feel so weak? It felt like Rainbow did not care much about being here, and zoom off and leave at the drop of a hat. This was not what Applejack wanted. She had to keep this date from dying. She had to find a way to lead into the main point of this date…
“So…how’s the weather making’ business?” Once again, Applejack was not one for making small talk.
“Hm. Fine.” Rainbow said, not looking too interested. She returned the inquiry with a similar one. “Uh, how’s the apple bucking…business?”
“Just dandy.” Applejack said, trying her best to smile. This wasn’t going as smoothly as she hoped. “Well, that was some mighty fine weather we had today. Best we’ve had in a while. Ya did a great job today!”
“Hm. Well, it’s the schedulers that make the weather plans. I just move the clouds…” Rainbow said rather humbly. Usually she would go on about how great a weather maker she was and how she was looking out for them and how they wouldn’t last a day without her weather. Why was she acting so weird? It was like she didn’t want to talk at all.
“Well…still a darn fine job ya do.” Applejack said quieter than before.
Very little else was said between the two. A deafening silence did not descend however; it was cut by the wind. This time, however, Applejack could not picture it as a loving nibble. She didn’t feel like it. Something felt off, like something bad was about to happen. She couldn’t quite place her hoof on it, but it made her uneasy. Despite how close she was to accomplishing her goal, her wall seemed higher than ever.
Rainbow seemed to be thinking. She looked over to the clouds over the lake, then down to her empty plate that once held pie, then back to the lake. Finally, Rainbow sighed. “Applejack, what is going on?”
Applejack was confused. The question took a moment to process before she realized she had no idea what the hay she was talking about. “Hm? What do ya mean, Sugarcube?”
Rainbow turned to face Applejack, “I’m not dumb, Applejack. I mean us all alone, the specially made pie, the obvious pegasus sunset cloud formations…” She waved her hoof towards the now darkened sky, “Something’s going on. Why did you bring me here? What is it?” Rainbow seemed rather angry. Well, not so much angry as… Annoyed?
Applejack didn’t like where this was going, but there was no going back, now. She came this far to tell Rainbow how she felt, and now Rainbow Dash herself was asking her to spill her guts. This was it. She breathed for a moment as she reassured herself with Rainbow’s own words ringing in her head.
“If you’re in love, just tell them!”
“Rainbow, Ah’m not gonna lie. This is the straight honest truth. Ever since Ah met you, Ah knew that there was something special between us. Ah knew that something sparked inside me. Something wonderful. And as we grew together and learned more about each other, Ah knew one thing was clear: You are the most amazing pony Ah know. You gave me something no other pony did: motivation.”
“Every time Ah see you soarin’ though the sky, Ah felt something inside me; Ah feel like Ah needed to match that. Like Ah needed to better. At first Ah thought it was just me, trying to be better and be the best. Bein’ arrogant… Then Ah realized it wasn’t just about being better than you, it was about being better than myself. Ah know it sounds weird, but it’s the truth. You make me want to be better, to grow stronger, to become more than Ah ever thought Ah could.”
“Our little games and competitions, they were so much more to me. Shoot, they helped me set goals and believe in myself that Ah could do more…”
“Your daring tricks stun me, your amazing loops spin me and your mighty Sonic Rainboom blows my hat away! Ah always lose my breath when you perform yer dare devil moves! Nose diving right into the ground, only to pull up at the last second? Mah hearts skips a beat!”
“Your crazy antics make me want ta scream; Scream your name so loud ‘till my throats starts a bleedin’!”
“Rainbow, time stands still when you’re with me. Ya make me feel incredible. You simply amaze me. No matter how hard you crash, no matter how far you fall, you always manage to get back right up! Ah love that about you! Dang it, Ah love everything about you! Ah love your colours, Ah love your tricks, Ah love your determination... Rainbow Dash…”
Applejack opened her green eyes and looked directly into Rainbow’s magenta ones. She search deep inside herself and confessed to her love what she had wanted to say for a very long time:
“Ah Love You.”
There it was. Let the cards fall where they may, but Applejack did it. She said it, and now Rainbow Dash knew the truth. About how she really felt, and what Rainbow really meant to her.
Rainbow said nothing. Her expression said it all. What expression? Well, Applejack could not say for certain. She was not entirely shocked, for she must have seen it coming. Nor was she overtly happy or moved by such a heart filled speech. She seemed to be giving no sort of response or indicate that she felt the same towards Applejack.
In fact, if Applejack was to be certain, she could have sworn she saw the exact opposite now. Was it resentment? No, not quite…disappointment? Perhaps…annoyance? What was Rainbow Dash thinking right now?
Well, whatever was on her mind, it was about to become clear, as Rainbow opened her mouth to speak. “Oh, Applejack.” She spoke slowly, “You just don’t get it, do you?”
Her voice was saturated with a sorrow and heaviness that could only come from pain. Applejack could tell that Rainbow was hurt. What was wrong? She kept quiet as Rainbow collected herself to say more. Obviously, this was extremely important.
“Applejack…” she struggled to speak. “…I… You… I’m…”
“What is it?” Applejack asked, her curiosity rising. “You can tell me anything.”
Despite her difficulty in creating actual words, Rainbow Dash said one thing which was very clear:
“No.”
What.
“No. No. Applejack, I’m not like that…” she looked up for a moment, “I’m not like you…”
What on earth did she mean? Not like her…Applejack was very confused. She had no clue what she meant, but by the tone of her voice, Rainbow was hurt very badly. Did she do something wrong?
“Applejack, I like you as a friend. You’re my best friend, but that’s all. My friend.” She said with a stern voice. “I like stallions, not mares.”
Applejack could not believe what she was hearing. She was shocked at what was becoming apparent. Rainbow… She had no idea.
Applejack didn’t know what to say. As many different ways she thought that this date would go… she did not expect this to happen. “Rainbow… Ah just thought-“
“You thought what? That just because I’m Rainbow Dash, you think it means I’m…” she looked down in disgust, “Well I’m not, okay! I like colts and stallions, not mares. I’m not into mares…” she said again, a tad quieter, “I never have and never will!”
Rainbow looked down in sorrow. “Do you know how hard it is to go through life like this? Ponies always assuming that you’re…?” She left the word hanging in the air, but they both knew what she meant. “Growing up, the other fillies and foals always laughed and called me names. They had no right to, especially since none of it was true!”
“I always had to do things by myself, which is why I was always very independent. I found it very hard to trust anyone...” Applejack could see tears forming in her eyes; tears from painful memories resurfacing. And it was her fault.
“Ah’m sorry… Ah had no idea…”
“Of course you didn’t!” Rainbow snapped her head up. “How could you have known? It’s not like you asked me what I thought or how I felt! Do you know how many time you just said ‘Ah’ in that speech? This isn’t about me; it’s all about you!” she pointed angrily at AJ. Applejack cringed at the harshness in Rainbow’s tone. Whether she meant to be this angry or not, her point was clear.
“Do you want to know why I was late? I had a run-in with an old friend from flight school. Turns out she came out recently and asked me if I wanted to get together with her! So forward and arrogant! Just like in school. I had to teach her a lesson…” Applejack was hit hard by this. “I thought this nice picnic could get my mind off of it, but…” She closed her eyes and frowned.
Rainbow got up and looked at Applejack. Her rage was dying out, but she was still overcome with emotion, “I thought you were different, Applejack. I thought you were accepting and un-judging. I thought you were cool. I thought you were my friend.”
Applejack said nothing. There was nothing she could say at this point; the damage had been done. She simply hung her head in shame.
“I guess we were both wrong.” Rainbow quickly beat her wings and zoomed away as fast as she could. She flew off farther and farther until she was gone. She didn’t even look back.
Applejack just sat there, allowing all that had just transpired to sink in. Rainbow was gone, and it was all her fault. She blew it. Of all the things that could have happened, this was literally the worst possible thing. Rainbow Dash, her crush and single constant, hated her.
Applejack did nothing. She couldn’t do anything. She couldn’t even think. Everything was all a blur. She just allowed herself to lie on the ruffled picnic blanket in the dark, next to the cold silent lake outside of Ponyville and cry. For the first time that she could remember, Applejack cried.
A cool nighttime breeze fluttered in the open window. The soft rush of air wound its way into the room and gently tickled the pony’s hooves. The left one twitched. Aside from the minuscule motion, no movement was detectable in the room. Hardly anything at all moved, save for the light risings and fallings of the pony’s chest as she breathed. She breathed like she was asleep; calm and rhythmically. Except she was not asleep; she was very much awake. Her eyes wide open, though long since glazed over, continually stared at her wall. Even now, those honest eyes could not hide how she felt: Depressed, resented, disturbed, nauseated… It seemed somehow familiar.
She felt sick. Like she wanted to throw up, but couldn’t. She felt awful. Her gut was a knot of guilt and pain. She knew she was at fault for the outcome of the failed date. She tried to think it was destined to be a failure from the get-go, but knew that it was preventable.
Much time had passed since then. What was it now, a few days, a few weeks? Whatever it was, it was a long time to go without seeing her, as busy as she could be. The past few days were all a blurry mess. She couldn’t even remember how she got home. All that the pony could remember was the confession of love, followed by an outburst of anger and a parting that ended in tears. Hardly an appropriate response to such a heart felled speech. It was not easy for Applejack for say all she did, but neither was it easy for Rainbow Dash to accept such emotions as that from one of her closest friends…
The more she thought about it, the more she was confused she felt and sicker she became. If only she could find her. It had been a long time since they had talked, and the poor mare wished she could see her friend again… That is, if they were still friends. Their friendship had been strained before from silly competitions and contests, yet when Applejack tried to do the opposite and give love instead of thick headedness, it all came crashing down. How ironic.
Still…maybe they could talk it out? Get to the bottom of things and try again. But was that possible? Could they really fix everything anew? Besides, what was there to talk about? She was at fault and they were never to see each other again, simple as that. It’s what she deserved after her behaviour…
Maybe she was being too hard on herself. How was she supposed to know that this was how things would turn out? It’s not like she planned for this.
The more she mulled over it the more she wished it would all just go away. Well, that was certainly one option: ignore it until both of them forgot what the other looked like. But, for some reason, she couldn’t picture herself doing that. Maybe it was the strengthened relation the two had founded over the years, or the fact that it was just a plain cowardly idea. Whatever the reason, that idea just wasn’t going to fly.
She soon realized that she had no choice. There was no other way. Sooner or later, she would eventually have to face the problem head on. One day, the conflict between the two would arise again and cause more pain and suffering if it was not taken care of. This had to be resolved…somehow.
It was nearly 1 AM when rocks flew. Their flight was smooth and soundless; their trajectory, perfect and precise. The three small stones made their journey through the cold night’s air with speed and ferocity that mimicked the mare who threw them. Their mission was clear, their target was in sight. A few more moments, and their job would be a success.
Click-Clack-Clack.
…
Applejack was not asleep at that moment. How could be asleep after all that happened? The disturbance at the window did not disrupt anything but her thoughts and her own self-pity, which she did not mind. She needed something to get her mind off Rainbow Dash; anything was better than constantly thinking about her and her mistake.
Opening the window, Applejack realized she was wrong.
There, just outside her window flying silently in the dead of night, was the cyan pegasus that this whole mess revolved around. Her face showed remorse and sadness, similar yet very different from that night which shall not be named. A new vibe filled the room, one of guilt and sorrow. It was a very unpleasant feeling, yet one that was not unfamiliar to the young farm pony.
“…hey.” The pegasus squeaked. She tried to keep her normal tone of coolness, but it was in vain as she was completely exposed to the Element of Honesty. Applejack could tell Rainbow felt the same she did.
“Hey.” Applejack said rather coldly. Whether she truly felt as negative towards her, even she did not know. She had no idea what to say or do. She was taken completely by surprise. And she hated it.
There was an awkward silence that dragged out for longer than necessary following the lonely quips. Neither pony knew what to do. Well, Applejack certainly didn’t, as she was not the one who instigated this awkward social interaction. She expected Rainbow Dash to speak up and say what she was going to say. Little did she know, Rainbow was just as clueless as she was about this whole thing. She wasn’t sure what she was doing there anyway. Yeah, she knew what she had to do; it was doing it that was the problem.
Applejack decided that if nopony as going to speak, she might as well get it off of her chest. “Rainbow listen, I just want to say that Ah’m sorry.”
Rainbow tried to interrupt, but Applejack needed to say just this. “Ah’m sorry. Ah’m sorry…for assuming. Ah know that Ah was being too forward, not even askin’ for yer opinion an’ all, but… Ah felt that you still should know the truth. You should know how one of your closest friends really feels about you. Ah don’t think Ah could have kept it inside me any longer. Rainbow Dash, it was eating at me all this time… Ah don’t even feel like myself anymore…”
“So anyway, Ah’m sorry. Ah understand how you felt, and you had every right to be mad.” Applejack hung her head in sorrow. “Ah’m sorry.”
At this point, Applejack was ready to just give up. For the past weeks, she struggled with simply building up the guts to do this; to release her innermost thoughts and feelings and now it was all in vain. No, it wasn’t just the last few weeks; it was the last few years. Applejack knew that she loved Rainbow Dash for a long time, but never really knew if what she felt was right. She took a gamble and believed that love would prevail. Guess she was wrong. After all this, after gaining nothing but losing everything, Applejack was ready to give up.
But Rainbow Dash thought otherwise. “No, Applejack, I didn’t.” She shook her head.
Applejack was now rather curious. She was mostly curious about Rainbow’s reason to be here. She secretly hoped that it would be to talk it out; rationalize exactly what happened and how to proceed. Perhaps they could be friends again. Perhaps they could be more…?
“I didn’t have the right to get angry like that. I…overreacted. At the time, I didn’t realize how much guts it took to say something like that to me.” Rainbow confessed. “All I could think about was how I was affected by it. I didn’t stop and think about you.” She tried to give a little smirk, “Heh. Guess that’s one thing we share.”
Applejack looked up. She looked at Rainbow, but could not bring herself to look into her eyes. Those beautiful magenta eyes…
Rainbow continued, “When I met you, you were so kind and accepting, you didn’t say anything at all about my mane, about my name, my colours... Maybe that was the problem. You didn’t say anything; you just always assumed.”
Applejack lowered her head back down. As much as she appreciated Rainbow trying to make things better, she only felt worse. She could almost feel the pit of sorrow and guilt grow deeper inside her heart.
Rainbow fiddled with her hooves. This wasn’t going well. “Well, anyway. I still want to say sorry. I mean, you did such a courageous thing. The more that I think about it, the more I realize just how brave you really are, Applejack. You built up the guts and just gave it your all. Applejack, telling me your true feeling has got to be one of the most amazing and courageous things I’ve ever seen.” This coming from Rainbow Dash, both as her crush and as an amazingly brave daredevil, meant a lot to Applejack
Taking a deep breath, Rainbow finished what she wanted to say, and asked what she needed to ask, “So… Do you forgive me?”
Applejack snapped her head up at Rainbow. Was she really asking forgiveness after all that? Rainbow Dash asked forgiveness on a mistake that was not entirely her fault? For some reason, everything felt better. For one, she could actually bring herself to look at her directly in the eyes. She could tell that Rainbow Dash honestly felt terrible and was pleading forgiveness. What did this mean? Applejack wasn’t sure yet, but it could only be good, right?
Applejack closed her eyes. “Rainbow Dash...” began solemnly.
Rainbow held her breath as she waited the answer.
“Ah’ll forgive you…on one condition.” She said sternly. She opened her eyes to show she meant what she was saying.
Despite the rather hard tone of her voice, Rainbow gave a soft smile and nodded. She would do anything to be forgiven.
“Ah’ll forgive you, if only you’ll forgive me.” Applejack said, smiling. Rainbow smiled back.
“It’s my fault as much as it is yours, Dash.” Applejack said, “We both need to forgive and forget, right?”
Rainbow said nothing. Instead, she crossed her hooves over her chest. AJ could have sworn she saw her smile falter a bit, but perhaps it was only from the tears she wiped from her eyes. Tears of joy.
“So…now what? Ah mean, you said you were sorry an’ Ah said Ah was sorry. An’ we both forgave each other…” Applejack was a bit confused. Was what she thought was happening really going to happen? “…What happens next? Ah mean, Ah’m no expert at romance, but…can it still work? Between us Ah mean.” She paused for a moment. She fought back the tears, but it was a losing battle. “Can there even be an ‘Us’?”
Rainbow remained quiet at these words. Her face became one of regret and anxiety. There was something else, something more which had to be said. She saw such hope and faith in Applejack’s eyes, and it crushed Rainbow’s heart to have to do this. She really wished there was another way, but it was all she could say. Unfortunately for Applejack, this was not the end.
Rainbow opened her mouth to say the hardest words she ever had to say: “Applejack… No. I don’t think so.”
These words crushed the last remains of the fruitless hopes and dreams of Applejack’s love. She could practically hear the pieces of her hearts shattering and fading away. While the inside of her was painted with every negative emotion and then some, Applejack kept a positive face. She had to stay strong. If not for Rainbow Dash, then for herself.
“I...just don’t love you in that way. I’m sorry, Applejack, I really am. I know you love me, but… I don’t feel the same for you. I like you as a friend, and I think we were better that way. I’d be a much better friend than marefriend. I’m sorry, Applejack, but I just can’t change who I am.”
Applejack thought for a moment. From what she understood what Rainbow was implying…
“So we’re still friends…?” Applejack asked, holding the tears back. Her voice was strained and cracked. This was the last hope Applejack had. The door that led to a fruitful and loving relationship with Rainbow Dash was gone now, closed by her own hoof. But there was another door, one that had remained open for years but now threatened to close: The Door of friendship. The door was closing and she had to know if that was still time to prevent that.
Despite all that had happened, Applejack tried to remain hopeful. Would Rainbow be the kind to let a little mishap like this ruin such a beautiful friendship? Would she just shrug it off like everything was fine, or would this hit closer to home?
Rainbow folded her hooves again and looked away uncomfortably. “I just don’t know. I don’t know if we can still be friends after this. I don’t know if I can accept how you feel.”
“Even after all this time that I’ve thought it over, Applejack… I just don’t know. I’m not good at this relationship stuff…” she scratched the back of her head with her hoof. “Like…ugh!” she grumbled, obviously not sure what the hay she was supposed to say in this situation. “Applejack, this has been hard for me, for you as well, I’m certain. And it’s hard for me to say this, really."
“I don’t want you to think this is all your fault. It’s the ponies in my past…" She closed her eyes and shuddered at the painful memories. “This whole incident has brought up a lot of bad memories and old wounds, as well as some new ones.” Rainbow tried her best as well to hold back tears.
“It’s gonna take time for them to heal. Applejack, there’s not much you can do really. I know you meant well, but…” she left the sentence unfinished. They both knew what she meant.
“Look. I don’t know if we can go back to how we were. I wish we could, really. But, I just don’t know how. Applejack…” Rainbow held her mouth agape to speak but nothing came out. Her words ran dry and she had nothing else to say.
Applejack was watching the entire time she spoke, and she knew that not a single word was a lie. All she said was the honest and painful truth. It surprised Applejack, actually. Rainbow was being surprisingly mature about this whole thing. She took this matter quite seriously, probably because it hit so close to home…
“Ah see.” Applejack whispered under her breath.
The blue pegasus began to float little bit further away from the window where her former friend stood. “Well, that’s all I had to say. I guess I’ll see ya later…” She began to drift away, turning her back on the farmhouse.
“Wait!” Applejack called out, reaching out a hoof. “Where are you going? Is this it? Will I see you again!?” Applejack very much hoped this wasn’t the end, but ever her optimism was wearing thin.
Rainbow stopped. She did not turn around, but stopped flying away enough to show that she did in fact hear her plea. She thought for a moment before sighing. “Applejack…” she looked over her shoulder to see a pony with as many tears in her eyes as she had.
“I’m not going anywhere.” She tried her best to give a smile, but considering what was happening, not even Pinkie Pie would be able to help her to smile right now. “I’ll be around. AJ, I’m not leaving Ponyville. Not over this…” Her eyes broke contact and flickered downwards. “I’ll be around. If this is really it, however...” Her eyes snapped back up to Applejack’s. “Well, that’s all up to you.” Applejack stared back at her with confusion in her blurry eyes. All up to her?
“We had a lot of good times, Applejack.” Her voice cracked as she struggled with her words. It took all she had not to break down right then and there “I wish we could have had more…”
“Maybe we could.” Applejack offered the last little bit of her hope, even though she already knew it was in vain. This whole thing was beyond repair.
“Maybe.” With tears rolling down her cheeks, Rainbow turned back around for the last time. “If you can figure out what happens next, you’ll know where to find me.”
And with those final words, Rainbow Dash, the only pony Applejack truly and honestly loved more than anything, flew away into the night. She didn’t look back, because she believed Applejack was strong enough to accept her decision. She truly hoped she would be able to move on.
Applejack said nothing as the love of her life flew off. She watched on as the pegasus became smaller and smaller in the horizon. She couldn’t look elsewhere, even if she wanted to. Was this the last time she would see of her? She strained to see for as long as she could, but the hour was late, and the night was dark. Soon, not even the brightest colours of her rainbow mane were visible though the darkness. That beautiful yet accursed rainbow mane.
Applejack stood, frozen in her own emotions and thoughts. She continuously stared out into the darkness, as if just staring into where she last saw Rainbow Dash could bring her back. But, no, it wasn’t that simple. Rainbow Dash was gone.
As silent and dreary it was in the cold night, inside Applejack’s mind… it was about the same. She couldn’t say anything; she could barely think.
Yet she did, and she was. Her mind was frivolous with all kinds of thoughts, overloading with all that had just occurred. It felt like it all went by so fast. One minute, she was lying in bed the next, she’s at her window, feeling a million times worse.
Applejack thought about what Rainbow had said, about how she assumed. The entire time, she simply assumed that Rainbow was the same like her, be completely oblivious to the other option; ultimately, the truth. Yet, she somehow always knew. In the back of her mind, tugging at her consciousness was this exact theory of Rainbow Dash; the correct theory. But she didn’t like that idea; she didn’t like to think that Rainbow was not the one for her. She subconsciously tried to ignore it, pushing it further and further in the back of her mind until she was completely ignorant. She couldn’t accept it; she couldn’t accept the truth, so she created a lie. A little lie inside her head that made her believe she was right about something. A tiny little lie, that cost her dearly.
She stared endlessly into the darkness that had consumed Rainbow Dash. She stared as though it might make Dash change her mind and come back, but she knew that was well into impossibility; Rainbow Dash was gone. Gone off and away. Though, she wasn’t truly gone. She would still be around, doing what she did. Things would be normal for her. All the same stuff: exciting adventures, lazy days spent on clouds and hanging with friends. All her friends…
Then, where did that leave her, now? Applejack was no longer Rainbow Dash’s friend and it was all her fault. She was stripped of a friend, her only friend that really understood her and pushed her to do her best. Her real motivation in life. Now that was all gone. She should feel terrible, right? She should feel betrayed. How could one of her closest friends to something like that to her!? Should she feel angry as well? Engulfed in the flames of rage, a rage that stemmed from frustration? Frustration from the fact all her attempts of win over Rainbow Dash were in vain. She gained nothing but lost everything.
A hundred thousand thoughts and feelings and emotions could have been swarming around Applejack’s head, and it would not have felt unfamiliar or surprising. Yet, she felt none of those annoying and distressing feelings. Instead, she felt… nothing. She felt a bitter emptiness inside her heart. A large hole that used to be filled by a certain joy and hope.
The wind on her face felt as cold as the hole in her heart. No tears rolled down her pretty cheeks. She had lost the will to cry. Maybe someday, she would come to recognize all these possible emotions and reactions, but for now, all she could think about was how empty she felt inside: so bitter and lonely…and strangely familiar.
Applejack noticed then that something was not right. Of course, the entire night had been not quite right; in fact it had been all wrong. No, this was different. She wasn’t looking out the window anymore. She looked around as much as she could without moving her head. She was not anywhere by the window. She picked her head up to look around. Up? She was lying down. How did she get like this? Had she fallen? And where was she? As dark and limited her vision was, a quick look around told her exactly where she was. She was no longer surprised, nor did she honestly care. Nothing really mattered at the moment. She sighed as she let herself sink deeper into the covers of the bed.
Rainbow said that time would heal her wounds. Given long enough, she would forget about the pain and sorrow of the incident and her past and get back on her feet. Rainbow just needed some time and she would be back at it. Was it the same for Applejack? Would something as simple as time heal her broken heart? Everything could be fixed? Could it make it all right? Could anything be right anymore?
Heavy breathing and a loud snore from behind Applejack brought her back for a moment. She was reminded of where she was, but was still unsure why she had gone there. Perhaps because she had lost such a loving friend and felt she was no longer loved, she subconsciously went to the first pony she knew loved her back. She needed love…
She felt an emotion begin to creep into her. Such a familiar and resented emotion that Applejack had kept close to her for so long. Loneliness. She felt a longing that had fueled her ambition for her search of love. She held a hole in her heart that not just anypony could fill. She needed a special somepony. But the only pony available for that role was gone now, wasn’t she? So what did that mean for Applejack? That the empty feeling was never to be filled? She would have to live out the rest of her days with a secret bitterness and empty feeling. Would she never get her happy ending? Was she destined to be alone forever…?
Applejack’s inner monologue of depressing thoughts was interrupted again by the large red lump of pony behind her. He unknowingly reminded her that she was not alone. Of course she would never be truly alone. She had her friends and family. Did they not love her? Yes, they did in fact love her. Of this she did not assume, for she knew for certain. She was never alone as long as they were still in her life. Her family, her other friends… They would always be there for her. She could still live on with them by her side.
So here she was: a dependable, lovable pony with nopony else capable of fulfilling this empty feeling inside her. Nopony to fill her heart with a special kind of love. On the outside, happy and surrounded by loved ones. Inside, all alone.
No Rainbow in her heart.
The End.
