Applejack Goes To Magic School For Some Reason

by JasonTheHuman

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 4856

Applejack gets accepted to Princess Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns. She doesn't learn anything.

After receiving her acceptance letter for Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, young Applejack is excited to begin her studies, despite knowing nothing about magic. What she lacks in knowledge and skill, she makes up for with enthusiasm!

Alternate universe based on contrived coincidences and stupidity. Don't think about this one too hard.

6th place in the September 2014 Write-Off, "There is Magic in Everything."

Published 2014-09-22 21:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-22 21:00:04 UTC

Applejack Goes To Magic School For Some Reason

Applejack stepped off the train and breathed in the city air. She could hardly believe it. Her first time away from home, out here in the big city all by herself.

She pulled out the letter from her bag to read it again. It was just as exciting as when it had arrived in the mail a week ago.

We are proud to inform you that you have been accepted to Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Here at the oldest and most prestigious academy in all Equestria, you will master your natural aptitude for magic with the help of our esteemed professors. We look forward to your arrival.

Sincerely,
Noble Laureate
Deputy Headmaster

Applejack had to admit that she didn’t know the first thing about magic, but the letter was pretty clear. The ponies at this school thought she had a talent for magic, and they were the experts on this sort of thing. Besides, she’d never earned her cutie mark back at the farm, so maybe this would be her time to shine.

She tucked the letter away and left the train station, making her way through the crowd of ponies who were all much taller and fancier-dressed than her. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she stuck out like a worm in an apple out here, being from out in the sticks and all.

Canterlot was unlike anything Applejack had ever seen. This was one of those big cities like she’d always heard about, where the streets were always bustling with ponies on the move. A center of fancy culture and high fashion. Maybe she could get used to this.

Rising up high above everything else was the castle, and one of those towers was where she was headed—Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. She could hardly wait to see it and meet all her new classmates. She hoped she would be able to fit in with the rest of them.

She pushed her hat up to see better. It was a little big and fell down over her eyes all the time, but she just didn’t feel right without it on. Out here in the city it was like a piece of home she could always keep with her.

As she made her way down the street, she noticed the strangest thing. Most of the ponies around here had horns growing right out of their heads. She had seen a few ponies like that back in Ponyville on market days, but she’d never asked them about it. Everypony was a little different, after all. But here it was like everypony but her had one.

She pondered it for a moment, but the thought was quickly pushed out of her mind when she finally saw the entrance to the school in front of her. She paused to stare up at the gates, all white and gold and shiny. This was it—her new home away from home.

She glanced over and saw a filly about her age, pushing with all her weight against a cart loaded full of thick, musty old books. Like most of the ponies in this town, she had one of those horns growing out of her head. Pink light was sparkling from the tip.

“Howdy!” Applejack said with a nod. “Need some help with that?”

“No…” the filly panted. “If I can just… get this spell… to work…”

Applejack went over and hitched herself to the front. “Nah, you just need to pull it. Like this. See?”

The filly frowned, then let out a sigh. “Thanks, I guess. I kind of hoped I’d be able to impress my teachers with my magic on my first day.”

“Now, no need to get ahead of ourselves. That’s what we’re here to learn, ain’t it?” Applejack said. She started pulling the cart up the path. It was heavier than a full bushel of apples before cider season. “Almost forgot to introduce myself. The name’s Applejack. What’s yours?”

“I’m Twilight Sparkle,” the other filly said. “So are you a student at this school too?”

“Guess so. Got my letter a few days ago. But to be honest, I don’t know the first thing about magic.”

“Well, nopony gets accepted to Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns by accident,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes. “Everypony here has a natural talent for magic. But I’ve been studying nonstop for months anyway.”

Applejack glanced back at the cartload of books she was hauling. “Sure does look that way.”

“Just last night I just finished a fascinating biography of an important pre-classical wizard named Star Swirl the Bearded. He created over two hundred spells in his lifetime!” Twilight’s eyes lit up. “Everything from basic everyday charms to temporal manipulation. I’m sure you’ve heard of the amniomorphic spell. Well, he invented that one!”

“That sure sounds…” Applejack blinked at her, not sure what to say next. “Uh…”

“I thought it was pretty cool…” Twilight looked down at the ground, her face turning red. “I, um… I like your hat.”

“Thanks.” Applejack reached up to touch the familiar worn edge of the brim. “I never leave home without it.”

Somewhere in the distance, a clock tower chimed, sounding off the hour.

“Oh no! We’d better hurry and drop these off at the dorms. We don’t want to be late for the entrance exams,” Twilight said.

“Entrance exams? Gosh, I never heard anythin’ about that,” Applejack said.

“Well, of course there’s entrance exams,” Twilight said. She gave a strange little giggle. “But they’ll be a breeze! I’m not worried at all. Nope. Definitely not.”

Applejack sat outside the classroom, waiting to be called inside. She could hear the muffled voices of the exam instructors from behind the closed door.

The longer they waited out here, the more visibly nervous Twilight got. She was pacing back and forth endlessly. Applejack was starting to feel less worried about the test itself and more concerned that Twilight was eventually going to pop.

“Just gotta stay calm,” Twilight muttered. She glanced over at Applejack. “How about we review everything we’ve studied? We probably still have five entire minutes. Quick, ask me to list the major and sub-classifications of transfiguration spells.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that…” Applejack tilted her head. “What’s this test on, again?”

“I don’t know. It could be anything. Oh, I really hope I studied enough.”

Applejack felt nervous too, but Twilight was a total wreck. If she kept pacing like that she’d wear a hole through the floor before they ever got to take this exam.

“Tell ya what. How ‘bout we both take on this thing together? I’ll stay and cheer you on from the side,” Applejack said.

Twilight tilted her head, then smiled. “I think that would be a big help.”

“That’s what friends do! Best of luck to you, Twi.”

“You too,” Twilight said quietly.

“Next!” A voice called from inside the classroom. “Let’s see… Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight froze at the sound of her name. Applejack gave her a gentle nudge on the shoulder.

“Go on. You got this.”

Twilight stumbled into the room like she was in a daze. She looked all around, then noticed a cart set up in front of the blackboard. Some kind of huge egg was sitting in it. There were all kinds of birds and critters back on the farm, but Applejack had never seen an egg that huge before.

At the back of the room, a panel of four older ponies—probably teachers—sat observing Twilight as she took her place at the front of the room.

Twilight stood frozen in front of the egg. Her eye twitched slightly as she stared at it.

Applejack frowned. Hadn’t this filly ever seen an egg before? It sure was big, but it must be like any other sort of egg. All there was to it was to keep them warm and safe and give them plenty of time to hatch. But then, who knew what this test wanted them to do?

Twilight’s eyes darted in Applejack’s direction. She flashed Twilight a quick grin, and it seemed to give her a little bit of confidence.

One of the teachers cleared his throat. “Well?” he asked in a sharp tone.

“Sorry!” Twilight said. “Um… I’ll just…”

What happened next made no sense at all. Twilight tried to point her horn at the egg, digging her hooves into the ground and making faces until it seemed like her eyes would pop out of her head. She walked around it from all sides, even got up on her back leg doing all kinds of strange gestures. Applejack was hardly surprised when nothing happened.

“Are you finished?” the teacher asked. His eyes narrowed as he stared down at Twilight.

With a sigh, and another look at the motionless egg, Twilight nodded slowly. “Sorry for wasting your time,” she murmured.

The teacher shifted his weight in the chair. “Next student, please.”

Scrambling up onto her hooves, Applejack went to take Twilight’s place at the front of the classroom. As Twilight passed by her, she said nothing, and just sat at one of the desks to watch.

Applejack was definitely feeling the pressure now that all the eyes were on her. Not even Twilight had managed to pass whatever this test was, and she had actually studied for it.

With a deep breath, Applejack straightened her hat on her head, then tried to imitate what Twilight had done. She stared hard at that egg, even stood up and waved her front hooves at it a little bit for show.

There had to be some trick to this magic thing. How did ponies do it?

One of the teachers let out a yawn. Applejack felt kind of silly, but what else could she do? Maybe she should just give up now before…

There was a loud bang and a flash of blinding light.

An explosion rocked the room. Applejack was knocked backwards off her hooves, and her hoof flew up instinctively to hold onto her hat. The entire room was aglow with color. Applejack couldn’t even see Twilight, she must be somewhere in the dazzling violet light flooding the room.

She blinked as the light faded. What had just happened? She looked over at the professors. Their stern expressions had been replaced with stunned disbelief.

“Real sorry ‘bout that, y’all. I don’t know what happened!” Applejack said.

“Applejack,” she heard a gentle voice say.

A white wing touched her shoulder, and she looked up to see a beautiful pony standing over her. This mare had both a horn and wings. It took Applejack a moment to realize it must be Princess Celestia herself. She’d only ever heard stories about her, but she was the ruler of all of Equestria.

“Huh?” Applejack said.

“Were you the one who did this?” the Princess asked.

Applejack looked over at the cart, but the egg was gone. A small, scaly creature sucked on its tail and stared at her, sitting in the middle of the fractured eggshell. In the other corner of the room, Twilight sat in a daze, rubbing her horn and wincing.

“Well, uh…” Applejack realized she didn’t know what she had done. “Maybe?”

“You have a very special gift,” Celestia told her. “There was no mistaking the magic power coming from this room. In all the years this school has existed, I have never seen a student with so much potential.”

“Huh?”

“I would like you to become my personal student while you study here at my school. You have amazing talent, and I want to help you learn to control it.”

“Uh, well, gosh. That sure sounds like a mighty big responsibility…”

“Not at all,” Celestia said. “It would be my pleasure to personally guide you in your studies.”

“That’d be…” Applejack started to smile. “I’d be mighty proud to be your student, ma’am.”

It didn’t take long for Applejack to get settled into her new dorm that evening. The room was really comfortable, though pretty small. After everything that had happened, she was ready to relax, but she needed some fresh air. As she stepped outside, she noticed a familiar face coming down the path.

“Twilight! How’d you end up doin’?” Applejack asked. “Sure hope you’re not here to pack up your things already.”

“No. I just barely passed,” Twilight said with a sigh. “I’m lucky I got every single question right on the written portion of the test.”

“Well, that’s good to hear!” Applejack said. “I had to guess on that part. Didn’t even know what half the words meant.”

Twilight reached up and touched her horn. “Ugh. I’ve been having weird headaches ever since whatever you did during that exam.”

“Sorry. I’m still tryin’ to figure out what exactly it was I did myself.”

“Oh, everypony is. They’re all talking about you.”

“Shoot…” Applejack muttered. “I’ve definitely got plenty to write home about tonight. I haven’t even been here a full day yet, and already all this has happened. I mean, I even met the Princess herself! How many other students d’you think Princess Celestia chooses?”

Twilight blinked. “Oh, well, she hasn’t chosen a personal apprentice for the past several years. It’s only the absolute most skilled unicorns that get chosen. It’s a very rare honor,” she said. “Not that I’m jealous or anything, of course! Like I said, I can just… work hard, and prove myself through my studies…”

“Glad there’s no hard feelings,” Applejack said, grinning.

“Of course not!” Twilight gave a shrill laugh. “Who said anything about hard feelings? It’s really great that you get to have private, personal, one-on-one lessons with Princess Celestia. It’s only been my dream since the first time I ever saw the Summer Sun Celebration. I’m just very happy for my new… friend.”

“Thanks, Twi! Don’t know what I’d do without ya.”

Applejack yawned as she followed Twilight to class the next morning. She had been up late trying to read one of those books about magic, but it hadn’t made a lick of sense. She’d even tried to cast a few spells, but she just couldn’t remember what she’d done during the exam, and she certainly couldn’t do it again if she tried.

“I ain’t usually this tired in the mornings,” Applejack said. “I wake up earlier than this to work on the farm all the time…”

“I don’t think I’ve ever met a unicorn who lives on a farm,” Twilight said. “I’ve lived here in Canterlot my whole life. I’ve never actually traveled very far.”

Applejack’s hat slipped down as she walked, and she pushed it back up on her head again. She looked around at the other students with their carefully-styled manes and funny-looking horns. “It sure does feel like I’m the only small-town pony around here.”

“We’d better hurry up. I’d hate to be late to class on my first day,” Twilight said. “That’d just be an even worse first impression than I’ve already made.”

They quickened their pace and trotted into the lecture hall as the bell rang. Most of the seats were already taken. Twilight scanned the room and pointed to a pair of desks at the back of the room near the window.

“Welcome, everypony!” The professor at the front of the classroom pushed up his thick glasses. “Today will be your first official lesson in practical magic. We will be starting with a simple levitation spell, easy enough for any unicorn. This will require some focus of your magical abilities. I’m not looking for precise control at this point, only try to lift your quill several inches above the desk.”

He droned on a bit more, using even more big words Applejack had never heard before in her life. She glanced over at Twilight, who was sitting forward in unblinking attention. How did that filly have so much enthusiasm?

Applejack turned to look out the window next to her. Through the ripples in the glass she could see the street below, a few colored shapes that might be ponies, a few fluffy clouds overhead. It was an awfully nice day outside.

There was an inkpot and quill on the desk in front of her. She stared at them. All Applejack could gather from the lecture was that they were supposed to somehow get it to move without touching it.

Next to her, Twilight was groaning with exertion as she tried to get some reaction out of her quill. It sat on her desk, completely still, no matter how much Twilight gritted her teeth and waved her hooves.

The professor had said this magic stuff was all about focus or something? Well, there was no way Applejack could focus like this. The room was just unbearably stuffy. She was almost starting to miss being out on the farm in the fresh air. She’d just open the window a crack, nothing more.

She reached over to unlatch the window. It was heavy, but with a good push she forced it open. A gust of wind blew into her face.

The quill on her desk flew away from her. Applejack leapt up to try to grab it, but it had already blown across half the room, over the heads of her fellow students. Everyone had turned to stare at her. She quickly shut the window before she could ruin anypony else’s work.

The professor’s jaw hung open.

“Heh. Sorry ‘bout that…” Applejack mumbled.

“Remarkable…” The professor blinked at her.

“Huh?”

The professor trotted over to where Applejack’s quill had landed on the floor. “I have never seen such a young pony master this spell so quickly.” He looked up at her. “Ah, so you’re Applejack! It’s no surprise Princess Celestia was so impressed by you!”

“Uh, no, I don’t think I—“

“For a pony who has only just enrolled in this academy, you are performing magic almost effortlessly. I am impressed!”

Effortlessly…

It hadn’t felt like she’d done magic just now, but then again, it hadn’t felt like anything when she’d hatched the dragon egg either. Besides, she was still figuring out this whole magic business.

Applejack nodded so quickly her hat nearly fell off, but she caught it just in time. “Thank you kindly, sir! I’m just doin’ the best I can.”

Twilight sighed and collapsed facedown over her desk, knocking her quill onto the floor.

After the day’s regular lessons were done, it was time for her first private lesson from the Princess. Applejack had never met real royalty before. Just the walk through the castle alone was nerve-wracking.

There were some white stallions in armor standing guard at the doors to the Princess’s chambers. They looked down at Applejack as she approached, and without a word they opened the door for her.

She climbed the winding staircase of the highest tower of the castle. Not even a full day in Canterlot and here she was, meeting with the Princess of Equestria for private lessons. Twilight had been right—her getting accepted to this school sure hadn’t been any mistake.

At the very top of the tower she found a fancy set of double doors standing open, as if inviting her inside. Applejack peeked through and saw a room lined with bookshelves and a glistening gold telescope pointing out at the starry sky. A fireplace crackled at the far end. In front of it, the Princess sat on the floor reading from a scroll.

Applejack stood in front of the doorway. “Uh…”

“Ah, my new student. Welcome!” Princess Celestia said, the scroll rolling itself up by magic. “Please, come inside. This room is always open to you.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

Applejack wandered inside, taking in all the sights. The rest of Canterlot had been fancier than anything she’d ever seen, but these royal chambers took the cake.

“The other day when I sensed that powerful magic erupting from the classroom, I knew there must be a very special young unicorn realizing her true potential,” Celestia said. “I have been looking for a pony with your kind of talent.”

“Well, gosh. I’m still tryin’ to figure out what it was I did,” Applejack said.

Celestia smiled. “If magic was so simple to understand, I would hardly need to found a school to teach it. It will all come to you in time.”

“That’s a relief,” Applejack said. “To be honest, up ‘til now I wasn’t even sure if I was supposed to be here.”

“And why would that be?” Celestia asked. “Surely everypony has been welcoming to you.”

“Oh, yes, ma’am! I sure do like it here. Ponyville’s a pretty small town, so I was really lookin’ forward to comin’ here and makin’ new friends,” Applejack said. “I already met this really smart filly named Twilight Sparkle. I think she knows just about everythin’, but I don’t think she’s ever actually had a real friend before me. I sure am glad I met her.”

“That is good to hear.” Celestia nodded. “You already understand what some of the most celebrated unicorns in history could not.”

Applejack blinked at her. “Really?”

“Magic alone can only do so much,” Celestia said. She went to the window and stared up at the full moon, shining bright in the night sky. “It is, after all, a pony’s friends that help her unlock her true potential. I can already tell you have a great destiny ahead of you, Applejack.”

“Princess Celestia said I understand magic better than just about anypony she’s ever met,” Applejack said. “Can you believe that?”

“No,” Twilight said. “No, I can’t.”

It was time for early morning classes again, and they trotted side by side through the hall to their next lesson.

“Me and the Princess talked for hours about all kinds of magic stuff. It’s a lot different than I ever expected,” Applejack said. She paused. “Aw, shoot. I just realized I was there so long I never had time to read that book you lent me.”

“Ooh.” Twilight bit her lip. “Introduction to Interdisciplinary Illusory Incantations? There’s going to be a test on that one next week.”

Applejack scratched her head. “I’ll try to get to it before then, but I’ve got another session with Princess Celestia tonight. I sure wouldn’t want to miss that.”

“I know I wouldn’t. There’s probably all sorts of things you can learn from a one-on-one discussion with the ruler of Equestria, not to mention the most powerful magic user in the world, that you can’t find in some old book, huh?”

“Exactly!” Applejack grinned. “This school’s even more amazin’ than I ever imagined!”

“Oh, of course. It… certainly is,” Twilight muttered.

“Listen, Twi, don’t worry about not bein’ as good at magic as me,” Applejack said. “Princess Celestia said it takes time to learn this stuff. I just know you’ll be a great magic user someday.”

“Yeah. Maybe someday.” Twilight rolled her eyes, and trotted into the classroom.

All the desks had been pushed aside, leaving a wide open space in the center of the room. The other fillies and colts were all gathered around the professor as he explained the lesson.

“Today we will be working on teleportation,” the professor said. “Teleportation is an intermediate-level spell that allows a unicorn to instantly transport themselves to another location. For today’s exercise, I don’t expect you to travel much farther than the length of this room.”

Twilight leaned over to Applejack, a smile on her lips. “I’ve read a lot about this,” she whispered. “I’ve heard the most powerful unicorns can teleport not only themselves, but other ponies as well!”

“Sounds complicated,” Applejack said. She tried to catch what the professor was explaining. “They really expect us to be able to do this?”

“Well, it shouldn’t be a problem for you,” Twilight said. “I just hope I don’t completely mess up again this time…”

“Spread out, everypony!” the professor called out. “Give your fellow students enough space to safely cast the spell.”

All the students shuffled around, forming a line on one half of the room.

Applejack stood motionless. She concentrated as hard as she could on moving herself across the room, but without actually moving. This magic stuff sure could be confusing.

She looked over at Twilight, who as usual wasn’t calm and collected at all. She was bent down, fighting against the pink light flickering around her horn. Sweat was rolling down her forehead. Applejack smiled and turned away. Maybe if Twilight could just learn to relax, she could get the hang of this.

Suddenly Twilight was thrown backwards as a bolt of light shot out of her horn. It ricocheted off the walls, hit the light hanging from the ceiling, and for a split second Applejack saw it headed right for her. She froze, squeezing her eyes shut.

She heard Twilight gasp. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!” Her voice sounded distant.

Blinking, Applejack opened her eyes. She looked around, then noticed Twilight standing on the far end of the room. Along with the rest of the class.

“How’d you get all the way over there?” Applejack said.

“Well done, Applejack!” The professor trotted over to her side and patted her on the shoulder. “Once again, you’re ahead of the class!”

Twilight galloped over. “I’m really sorry, Applejack! I lost control. That spell nearly hit you. If you hadn’t teleported out of the way at the last second, you probably could’ve been seriously hurt!”

Applejack scratched her head. She’d just done magic again and she still had no idea how. “Just be more careful next time, y’hear?”

Twilight nodded. “Yeah.”

They trotted back across the room to rejoin the other students practicing magic. Applejack closed her eyes. She was really getting the hang of this magic stuff. She’d do this again, she’d just have to remember what it was she did the first time…

As the class was dismissed and the students poured out into the hall, Twilight was oddly quiet. She stared down at her hooves, not looking Applejack in the eye.

“Somethin’ the matter?” Applejack asked.

Twilight gave a heavy sigh. “I, um… wanted to apologize.”

“It’s nothing to get all worked up about. Your spell missed me. I’m fine.”

“No, it’s not that.” Twilight shook her head. “When that happened, I almost seriously hurt you. And in that moment I realized I was really worried about you. And also, I wanted to say I haven’t been a very good friend lately.”

“Now, what the hay do you mean?”

“I’ve just been so jealous of all your talent. I thought that I could become a great unicorn just by reading books, so when I see you doing all these amazing things all by yourself, I couldn’t help it. I just wish I had your talent.”

“I was never tryin’ to show off,” Applejack said. “I may have more natural talent, but you definitely know more about magic than I do. We should be workin’ together.”

“It’s just been hard for me to admit that you’re a much better unicorn than I am,” Twilight said. She smiled weakly. “So… can we start over?”

Applejack nodded. “Of course we can.”

Twilight put her hooves around her and drew her in close for a hug. As they leaned closer together, her horn bumped the brim of Applejack’s hat and knocked it to the ground.

“Whoops!” Applejack swept her hat up off the ground and patted the dust off before placing it back on her head. She straightened it until it was comfortable and wouldn’t fall over her eyes, then turned back to Twilight. “Sorry. Happens all the time.”

Twilight stared at her with an expression of horror.

“Uh… Somethin’ wrong?” Applejack asked.

“Your… your horn…” Twilight stammered.

“What are you talkin’ about? I don’t have a horn,” Applejack said, frowning. “Never have, in fact.”

Twilight’s face twisted as she stared at her. She could barely get any words out. Then, finally: “How?”

“What do you mean, ‘how’? What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”

“How are you doing all this magic without a horn?” Twilight cried, her voice cracking. “You’re not even a unicorn! This school is called Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns! How did you… Why did you come here?”

“I already told you I don’t understand how this magic stuff works,” Applejack said.

Twilight took a deep breath. “I… I think I’m going to go talk to the deputy headmaster.”

“And that’s the story of how I got expelled from Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns,” Applejack finished. “Oh, uh, and I got my cutie mark after I came back to work on the farm. Been here ever since!”

The three fillies stared up at her.

“So that explains why the new librarian never talks to you,” Apple Bloom said.

“Maybe… We could sneak into that school too and pretend to be unicorns! Then we’d get our cutie marks too!” Sweetie Belle said.

“But you already are a unicorn,” Scootaloo said. “Come on, let’s go. Me and Apple Bloom are going to need to find some hats.”