Twilight Sparkle Has Sex With An Alligator

by Pony With A Hat

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 953

Twilight drinks something new that she probably should have left alone...

Twilight drinks something new that she probably should have left alone…

Additional Tags
-Alcohol
-Foul Language

This is simply a fic about Twilight trying out a new drink! She doesn't have sex with an alligator! Or does she? Meh, every time I get wasted I wake up and my good pair of beige dress pants are duct taped to the ceiling and I'm sleeping with my alarm clock in my bath tub…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-22 23:40:02 UTC

GORILLA FART!

"Apple Jack, I told you I don't-"

"Now shush, Twi'! Yer gettin' some relaxation and yer comin' with meh to the club with me and Rainbow teh do it!" AJ enforced.

Twilight remained silent, she wasn't much of a drinker, but her friends wanted her to come tonight with them and she agreed. As you could tell, she was having second thoughts but Apple Jack quickly silenced her. As they along the darkened streets of Ponyville, all was quiet. All accept the rather large building which shun with lights and blared music only ponies who slammed their faces into metal doors might like. Overall, if her friends were going to be there, it removed more of the more awkward vibes she felt running up her spine.

As they approached the building, they started to feel the vibrations of the bass speakers pulse through the ground with a sort of rhythmic pattern. They approached the doors, which was guarded by two heavy set stallions letting ponies in and keep ponies out. They were just about to reject the two mares when one noticed her set of wings and completely changed his tone with her. Without waiting in line, they were in instantly. The building shook with loud music, the lighting was low, built with only a few over head lights near the bar area to the left and the large amount of glow sticks the ponies clubbing used as apparel.

Twilight stuck close to Apple Jack while the apple farmer searched the searched around for their group, which, last time she saw them, consisted of Rainbow Dash, Berry Punch, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and surprisingly Fluttershy. With a little more searching, the mare finally found the group and tugged the violet alicorn along.

"Howdy y'all!" She called.

Rainbow Dash was the first to turn, a slight red shade was placed on her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. "Oh hey! Took ya long enough!" She teased, causing Apple Jack to roll her emerald eyes.

Twilight sat between Rarity and Pinkie Pie. Pinkie had an abundant shade of red well placed on her salmon colored cheeks, she gave one look at Twilight and smiled. She opened her mouth to say something, but it was two minutes before anything came out.

"GORILLA FART!" She blurted, causing Twilight to jump. with not a moment's pass, the bartender rushed to Pinkie and slid her a small shot glass with a dark brown liquid inside.

"Er, I think I might have something to drink." She told the bartender who was shining some shot glasses.

"Oh? And what might that be?" He asked.

Berry Punch dove into the empty space next to Twilight and whispered something in the bartender's ear. As she continued he just started to smile, giving off a chuckle. She finally broke contact with him and waltzed drunkenly back to AJ and Rainbow, who were, in blunt terms, sucking each others faces and laughing.

The bartender smiled. "I have just the drink for you, little miss." With that, he took his leave to his mixing equipment. Twilight watched as he expertly mixed the drink like a skilled alchemist would work an alembic. He trotted back over to her and slid her a shot of liquid that looked to have a green gel slammed by two mahogany brown gels.

She levitated the glass over to her and sniffed it. It smelled of fruit, raspberries and some sort of melon mixed with a bit of liquor. She took one sip of it and her mind seemingly imploded, the realization that she could handle her alcohol for nothing caught up to her. She fell to the floor and her vision was engulfed into darkness.

She awoke what felt like moments later with a minor head ache and three mares standing over her. The music stopped, workers were sweeping trash and broken bottles, and Berry Punch seemingly sobered up. She rubbed her eyes before speaking.

"Ugh.... whu- what happened?" She muttered.

Rainbow laughed and flopped on her back. Apple Jack smirked. "Well Twi..." She began. "In simplistic words and what not, you had sex with an alligator!" She shouted with a hardy chuckle.

Twilight blinked a few times. "Hold on... are you telling me I screwed a damn alligator?!"

Berry Punch laughed. "No, Twilight! The drink is called Sex With An Alligator!" She explained.

She nodded and placed a hoof on her head. "ugh... must of gave me a head ache too..." She thought out loud.

Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack looked at each other and then at Twilight. "Er... Twi... You only had a little bitty sip. Your head ache ain't from yer drinkin' " Apple Jack told her.

"Ugh, then what is it from?!" She said.

Rarity interrupted them. "Girls, I'm taking Fluttershy home. The darling has quite a few and she needs to lay down." With that, Rarity trotted out the door with Fluttershy on her back. They all nodded.

"Anyway, as you were?" Twilight said.

"Anyway Twilight, you fell, and Pinkie Pie caught you, partially that is." Rainbow told her.

Twilight nodded. "So where is she now?" Twilight asked, looking around.

"Yer layin' on her."

"SCREAMING ORGASM!" Screamed Pinkie Pie from under Twilight, still very wasted.

Twilight shot up while they all laughed at her. "Look at her! She's White Mare wasted!" Rainbow dash teased Pinkie, even though she clearly didn't care in her current drunken state of mind.

As they all walked home, Twilight looked at Apple Jack. "Hey AJ?"

Apple Jack looked over at Twilight. "Yeah?"

"Did I do anything while I was out?" She asked.

Apple Jack chuckled. "maybeh, maybeh not."

Twilight was about to say something but-

"IRISH CAR BOMB!"