Discord's Delightful Disharmony

by GameJunkie7

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Discord, Pinkie Pie, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Romance
Length: 17498

Discord has many artifacts, and he decides to give his "Dear Friends" a taste of what his mischief was like back in his heyday. At least, indirectly.

Discord has many artifacts, and he decides to give his "Dear Friends" a taste of what his mischief was like back in his heyday. At least, indirectly.

It's not HIS fault ponies are so fun to toy with.

Published 2014-09-23 20:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-08 06:36:32 UTC

Don't Say It!

It was just an average peaceful, uneventful, quiet...orderly...BORING day! “Oh what is a dreadfully dreary and unamused being of Chaos to do about these...doldrums that plague us of late?!” The serpentine Lord of Chaos and Disharmony bemoaned his misfortune atop a hammock of webs, spun by the polite cobweb spider in the corner of Fluttershy's living room ceiling, having sought some sort of amusement of anything at all, considering he'd been “grounded” after a recent relapse. “Oh poo...who was I to believe that mailmare was simply lost in lala-land from a recent crash, when she wished for the sky to rain muffins? Everypony got free muffins! How was that worth having this blasted limiter placed on me?”

Discord tapped the gilded iron collar at the base of his long neck, which was studded with many kinds of gems, and engraved with numerous intricate runes. It was the latest and most powerful magic limiter that Princess Twilight had devised, specifically for him should he prove to become “difficult” at any time. “At least it's to my liking. Despite it's symmetry, the clashing runes and gems are oh so wonderfully disharmonious. Probably why it works now that I think of it...no matter. Now then...hm....” Discord slumped back into his non-sticking sticky hammock, wonder what he could do to liven things up a bit with his restricted magical prowess being limited to himself.

In his musing, he did not notice the buttery yellow pegasus with long pink hair for her mane and tail trot into the room, her saddlebags filled for a long errand, and an irate sulking Angel Bunny on her back. “Oh I know Angel, but you still need your immunization shots from a proper doctor. Since you're the only permanent animal here, you can easily get sick if another animal comes here looking for help with their illness, especially with so many of them.” Fluttershy gently explained to Angel, who sighed and rolled his eyes, before noticing a loose and hanging small feather in his “mom's” left wing, and decided to quickly pluck it out, making Fluttershy eep. “Eep! Angel that...oh, it was about to come out? Thank you Angel, that's one less feather for me to preen. Now then, off we go.”

Fluttershy and Angel left through the front door. At the closing of which, Discord finally looked down to take note of the room in abject boredom. But his eyes widened at the sight of a single, small, unassuming yellow feather just gently land on the floor. Said feather was suddenly picked up by a full-sized Lord of Chaos, who beamed at the harmless object in glee. “Oh~ how devious!” His face became sinister as his eyes narrowed, and his smile widened into a wicked sneer. “I know just what to do to both have some fun, and get some payback at the same time. Ah-ha-ha AH-ha-ha-ha-ha~!”

(<^>)

Princess Twilight Sparkle groaned as she fell face-first into an enormous book in her gigantic tree-like crystalline castle's private library, causing her tiara to unceremoniously fall to the floor. “I don't get it!” She shouted into the book, and bolted upright with an unhinged expression with her eyes gazing in opposite directions. “Nothing I can find explains how we pick up things! With hooves!” Twilight shouted in frustration as she looked at her right hoof. Glaring in fury as if the offending appendage had both insulted her family and denied her the knowledge of all things in existence. All whilst remaining completely silent, and angering her further with it's complete apathy to her plight.

“Twilight, give it a rest! Just accept that it's magic and move on-.” Spike, the baby dragon and her faithful numero uno assistant tried to pacify her, only to stoke the flames as she turned on him.

“No! Simply saying it's magic is the lazy and unexplained excuse for actually admitting it's unknown! And it's been unknown since the dawn of time! Besides, you have claws! You can't say you don't wonder how ponies pick things up with their hooves, even when there is absolutely NOTHING keeping the item held to it!” Twilight ranted as she touched her still offending hoof to the massive book, and promptly yanked it up without ceremony and shook it around in the air, as it refused to leave her nonexistent grip. “See?! Look at it! It's maddening!”

Spike face-clawed, and sighed in exasperation. “Why are you letting this bother you so much NOW?! You should've even consider it since it was Discord who brought it up just to bug you in petty revenge for putting that limiter on him!”

“Because it's something related to magic in a way that I: the Princess of Magic, DON'T KNOW! I'd be failing Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Cadence, Equestria as a whole as the Princess of Magic if I don't even know how we pick things up with our hooves~!” Twilight began a downward spiral rapidly into depression, as she started crying, and Spike sighed as he took out a scroll and enchanted quill to quickly write “she's having a silly breakdown again”, burn it with his breath, and idly polish his claws while ignoring the inconsolable crying princess, and shortly got a reply he burped up, and read “code banana”, making Spike flinch.

“Um...Twilight...do you like bananas?” Spike asked nervously, and Twilight instantly gasped and stopped being a sobbing mess, and quickly straightened herself out, put back on her tiara and cleared her throat.

“N-no. I do not, in a-any way like b-bananas.” Twilight began to sweat as she nervously looked around, hoping against hope that the sudden warning was heeded, and thus avoided a terrible fate. Of feeding Chuckles the giant ape in Celestia's menagerie. That primate loved snuggling ponies way too much, and he stank. “Ok, fine, I'll let it go....” She held up her right hoof, and glared at it in sworn vengeance, to which it was completely oblivious to. “For now.”

“Alright then, I'll just-*BURP*!” Spike was about to send the all-clear to Celestia about Twilight calming down, but was interrupted by a new scroll. “What? Who's seal is this?” Spike asked as he didn't recognize the multi-colored wax seal on the scroll, which depicted a broken window. He broke the seal and quietly read the scroll before holding up a large pure white soft downy quill that was contained in the scroll, and Twilight levitated them both to herself before Spike could relay the parcel for her.

“Hm...Dear Princess Twilight. This is one of my oldest creations, and one of my most held dear. You will likely see why, but as a warning; Don't Say it? What does that mean? It's just a quill.” She examined the writing instrument and even rubbed her cheek against it to her joy at it's softness. “Oh my gosh! This quill was made from such a luxurious feather-ah! No! Ha-ha-ha~ stop!” Twilight was suddenly assaulted by the downy quill, as it left her levitation of its own will, and proceeded to wildly tickle her belly. “No~! My pfft-hm-hmph! Tummy is so sensitive!”

“Twilight!” Spike pounced on the aggressive writing implement and grabbed it in his claws. Making a herculean effort to pull it away from his big-sister/mother figure, who was rolling around on her back by this point. He had managed to get it out of tickling range, but the downy doom of delectable delight refused to cease it's rapid feathery brushing motion. “Geez! This feather really is-bwa-ha-ha~!” Suddenly the persistent integumentary structure turned it's efforts on to the baby dragon, furiously swiping away at the space between the fourth and fifth spines on the back of his head. “My spot! It-tee-hee-knows my spot!”

“It knew mine too! This has to be Discord's doing somehow! Hold on, I'll finish reading the letter!” Twilight got the short letter back in her magic and quickly resumed where she was when the fibrous object tickled her into submission. “Ugh! He didn't specify more than “don't say it”! Obviously “it” is the word fea-um, yes. So...let's see...quill!” Suddenly the invasive writing tool stopped it's assault, and Spike panted as he tried to get his breath back. “I just have to refer to it as something other than...well, you know. It's so appealing it's easy to say...that, besides just focusing on it being a quill. So it's a word trap, clearly a juvenile prank.”

“Oh you WOUND me princess!” Twilight leered up at the voice, seeing the somewhat restricted draconequus chortling in amusement as he hovered near the high ceiling of the library. “That “juvenile” prank just so happens to be one of my oldest creations! Back when I was but a tot, a fragment of what I am now. You may have bound my own personal magic, but there's nothing stopping me from pulling out the good old bag of tricks! Beings you've restricted me, I'm going to go at it old school! You're in for a big case of disharmony! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha~!” Discord swirled in on himself starting at his tail, and vanished off to who-knows-where.

“I don't know whether to be relieved he's resorting to petty pranks...or terrified....” Twilight commented as Spike finally stood up, holding the offending avian appendage. “Let's put it in a sealed box Spike. Don't want to accidentally say feather-oh-wah-ha-ha! Darn it!”

Author's Note

Inspired by White Rabbit's clopfic Voodoo. I stated I must do something similar with a feather instead, and he (possibly jokingly) said I should do it. So, here it is! First story on FiMFiction...I feel oddly quite pleased about this, writing randomness once again.

Fulfilling Curiosity

“Ah, that was fun! It has been forever since I’ve pulled out the classics without just snapping my fingers. There’s something satisfying about actually putting some effort into the delivery that I forgot with the convenience of my magic.” Discord mused as he lounged on a low-flying cloud that was currently hovering over Sweet Apple Acres. “Alright then…hm…while I’m here, Applejack seems a rather prime target. But what to hit her with, it must be suitably silly, yet ironic.”

Discord snapped his fingers, only for nothing to happen and he sighed. “Right…manual…have to use the clutch.” Discord reached his eagle talon into his chest, which sank into it like it was an illusion. He then pulled out an enormous canvas sack that was reminiscent of Santa’s bag in media. He then dove headfirst into it, making it squirm and jump on the cloud as he searched around. “No…too cliché…not enough irony…aha~…this will do JUST fine….”

(<^>)

It was just another day of work at Sweet Apple Acres. AJ and her brother Big Mac were bucking trees and collecting apples as usual, but they were working faster than they normally do, since they had to spend the past couple of days also cleaning up the muffins from Discord’s relapse, so they had to make up for the loss in production. “Woo! Ah say, today feels like its applebuck season again. That ‘bout right Big Mac?”

“Eeyup!” The big red stallion of few words replied as he hitched himself to the cart filled with buckets of various apples, since they were working both the red delicious and granny smiths for their stall in the market. “I’m takin’ these to the cellar; I’ll be back for the next round.” After letting out that surprisingly long string of words for the stallion, Big Mac quickly trotted through the trees towards the barn.

“Well then, better get buckin’ if Ah’m gonna have the buckets filled for when he gets back.” AJ was about to hit the next tree with her incredibly strong hind legs when she paused. She sniffed the air and raised an eyebrow in confusion as she settled back to all fours. “The hay? What makes that kinda smell?” She smelled a wonderful array of fruity scents beyond the comfortably familiar scent of apples, and her curiosity got the better of her. “Ah say, it does smell delicious. Where’s it coming from?”

AJ trotted through her orchard, following the alluring scents that seemed to tease her by seeming to be just around the next row of trees, only to continue to be led on further and further away from her current work area. Finally, after several minutes and heading much deeper into the orchards, AJ found the source. It was a wicker basket-like, tightly-woven large horn that lay sideways on the grass in a small clearing of the orchard. But that wasn't the source of the smell, it was the sheer abundance of fruits that spilled from it onto the grass.

“Boy howdy! Where in tarnation did a horn-of-plenty come from? It ain't nowhere near time for any feasting holidays....” AJ cautiously looked around, even up into the air, and then walked up to the spilled array of fruits. Everything from the expected apples, to pears, peaches, even grapes were included in the array, but on closer inspection, there were also carrots and other fresh vegetables in the horn as well. AJ's stomach growled, reminding her that she skipped lunch to meet quota today. She blushed in self embarrassment, before looking more intently at the delicious array. “W-well...this is an opportunity.”

She lowered her head and bit into an apple, only to pause in shock as she continued to chew and then swallow. “Pears?! The apple tastes like a pear! Then what...?” AJ's curiosity was piqued, if an apple tasted like a pear, then what did a pear taste like? Grapes apparently. Grapes were apples, carrots were broccoli, tomatoes were leeks! It was just enticing to bite into something, expecting a certain flavor, and getting something else. Before AJ knew it, she had eaten all the food that was on the grass, and had grasped the horn in her hooves, burying her face into it as she rabidly chowed down, her hunger becoming greater as she was absorbed in fulfilling her curiosity.

However, it seemed like the horn never ran out of food, it just kept coming, and she kept eating. However, she stopped when she felt a sudden rough pinch against her right flank, snapping her out of her feeding frenzy. “Ow! What...wha...?” AJ froze, in shock as she looked down at the offender, and saw an apple tree bending away from her firm, toned flank. She gasped as she suddenly lowered the giant horn which was still to scale with her, and saw that she had become a giant! She took up almost the whole clearing, and could see clear from here to her house! The trees were like tiny broccoli compared to her. “A-Ah'm huge! What's going on here?!” AJ was worried as she reached her hoof up to her hat, and was relieved to find it had somehow grown with her.

“Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha~!” AJ's attention was drawn to the familiar laughter, and sneered at the sight of the Spirit of Disharmony laughing at her expense at near eye-level on a small cloud. “Oh! Oh I forgot how fun the Corpulent Cornucopia was! Sure it makes things big, but not fat like it was supposed to, but still, it's a good one.” Discord dodged a giant orange hoof that tried to swat him and tsked as the cloud he had been on was disrupted into mist. “Oh come now Applejack, you have to admit that this was clever of me.”

“Change me back right now Discord! How am ah going to be able to do...well, anything at this size?!” AJ stood and carefully shifted the giant horn onto her back, which somehow kept it's bounty from falling out, and cautiously arranged her stance so she didn't damage any of her precious apple trees.

“Oh poo! You ponies are all so short-sighted! Don't you see this isn't just some prank, but a clever one? I remember Spike telling me about when you girls ran into my lovely poison joke, and how you specifically became little Appletini! Ah-ha-ha-ha~!” Discord laughed as Applejack blushed in embarrassment, and suddenly remembered something else embarrassing and tucked her tail between her legs, making Discord smile sinisterly. “Ah, I see you got the other part of this prank. I hope you have pants AJ.”

“You rotten varmint! Nopony's going to be seeing my nethers lest they're courting me!” AJ obstinately planted her haunches to the ground, and winced at hearing the ground beneath her give way, and she flushed as she got up slightly to see an indent of her flanks on the ground, making Discord laugh even harder.

“Oh, this is hilarious! I hope you have fun Ms Pony Bunion! The effects will wear off within a day, but otherwise use it to your advantage.” Discord began flying backwards, tail first off towards Ponyville as he laughed himself stupid, leaving AJ fuming and embarrassed in the middle of her orchards.

Speaking of which. “How am ah getting outta here without hurting mah trees?!”

Author's Note

Another one? The day after? Well it is randomness, and it is my element. Let's have some fun hm?

Chaos Idol

“What a hoot! AJ will either be stuck there all day, or actually use her new size to her advantage. Either way; more chaos for me! Applegiant instead of Appletini, the irony is delicious! Now then...who's next?” Discord was drifting through mirrors and windows near invisibly, since likely Rainbow Dash will have gotten word of his mischief from either Princess Twilight, or the easily-visible-from-here giant Applejack. Said orange mare was visibly flustered at realizing everypony in town could see her from so far away, and was nervously trying to step through her orchards towards the hills outside of Ponyville.

“Hm...everypony will be on guard from my pranks now...Applejack's predicament is admittedly a short-sighted plan of mine. Oh well, the bigger the challenge, the more rewarding the execution. But I need to throw them off somehow....” Discord's musing was cut off at the sight of a certain Pink Party Pony excitedly bouncing and rambling about AJ's impressive new size. “Oh~...I think I have a volunteer. Been considering this for a while really, he, he....”

(<^>)

“*GASP*...Ok, I'm done.” Pinkie finished her long excited rambling about the possibilities a giant Applejack represented. Mostly on the prospect of holding a party on her back, but first they'd need a giant stage to be saddled on her, and then there was the pegasus lifting teams needed to bring everypony up to her back, but then also AJ wouldn't be able to enjoy the party since she'd literally be hosting it, and have to stand the whole time and that's no fun.

Pinkie began to bounce in her usual bounding movement towards Sweet Apple Acres to visit Applejack and see about helping her, like her friends would most likely be doing, but stopped when she heard the tell-tale sound of a squeaky toy when she landed. “Huh?” Pinkie looked down at the source to see an adorable Discord plushy that she was standing on. She promptly got off of it and lifted it up to look at it better. “Hey! He looks just like Dissy! But smaller and cuter!” She hugged the doll and squeed when it squeaked, but felt odd as she noticed a tag on it, it read. “Now with drinkable glass?”

Suddenly, just after reading the tag, a glass of chocolate milk appeared floating in the air next to her. The ponies around her completely oblivious to all of this, as they were all herding towards Sweet Apple Acres to see about helping out their resident apple farmer. Pinkie's eyes dilated and her mouth drooled at the scent of the drink. “Chocolate milk~....” She squeezed the doll to her side with her left foreleg as she grabbed the drink with her right hoof, and immediately knocked it back, only the doll shined as instead of the chocolate milk being drank, the glass around it flowed through her lips like the expected liquid would have. Pinkie moaned in delight as the flavor of the richest, creamiest chocolate milk she'd ever had flowed past her taste buds and down her throat.

She finished, and she held a solid glassless glass of chocolate milk in her hoof, and sighed in content. It was only then that she noticed the milk being held without a container to her hoof, and gasped as she dropped it. It exploded at her hooves, obscuring her from view with a huge cloud of brown smoke. “*cough, cough* Ugh! It smells like burned milk!” It was at this point that other ponies noticed something was up, and looked at the cloud of smoke and all gasped as she became visible. “What?”

“It's another Draconequus! Run!” Daisy screamed to incite the panic, causing the whole area to erupt into a fleeing herd mentality, and run away.

“W-wait! What do you mean? Is it behind me-*GASP*!” Pinkie turned around and gasped as she covered her mouth with a spotted furry paw and pointed at herself in the reflective store window with a golden dragon claw.

Pinkie had been transformed into a Draconequus like Discord, but she was completely different. Her head was changed the least, with the pink color of her coat and her poofy pink mane, but her head was shaped more like Discord's, but also feminine and regal like Princess Celestia. On either side of her head, framing her poofy curls were horns. The one on the right side of her head was a heavy curled brown ram horn, the left was a forward white minotaur horn. Her neck was the same color as her pink coat, but long and serpentine, leading into a pitch-black serpentine panther's torso, giving her a curvier, more hourglass shape than Discord. She also now had wings; her left wing was a sharp contrasting white heron wing, her right was a pair of pink-tinted dragonfly wings. Her right arm was a golden dragon arm, her left was a spotted leopard's. Her left leg was a large rabbit's leg and her right was an alligator leg. Finally, her tail was a long and flexible tan diamondback snake tail, ending with her original poofy pink pony tail at the tip.

“W-what happened!? Why am I like Discord?” Pinkie entered a slight panic, proven by her mane and tail-tip straightening out a bit. But she was interrupted and shivered at feeling an unfamiliar sensation run up her new serpentine spine, and shuddered in delight at the feeling as she closed her eyes.

“My, my...come here often beautiful?” Discord's voice spoke out from behind her, and Pinkie snapped her blue eyes open to see the slightly taller draconequus standing behind her, running a talon up her spine which was making the pleasant tingle. “Mm...scrumptious.” Discord purred as he hugged her from behind, and leaned forward until his cheek nuzzled hers. Pinkie was panting slightly with a flushed face as she tried desperately to calm her pounding heart. Nobody had ever so openly flirted with her before.

“Um...Dissy...um...could you...please....” Pinkie was nervous, she was confused, she was excited in ways she was unsure about. Discord chuckled and released her from the gentle embrace to her relief, yet disappointment. “Th-thank you...but what did you do to me?” Pinkie calmly asked in bemusement, as she examined herself in the window.

“I gave you my idol.” Discord stated simply, as if that was all the answer, and she looked at him in confusion, and he smiled warmly. “In other words; I gifted you with the access to the essence of Chaos. I made it when I was young, and lonely. Thinking if I ever made a true friend I would be able to let them join in on my fun. It is not a thing to give lightly, as I can never make another one. Well...unless you...you know....” Discord ended with a sad expression and Pinkie gaped at him.

“You mean...we're bestest best friends in the whole wide world?” Pinkie beamed as her mane positively exploded with vibrancy, rainbows seemed to spontaneously appear, gumdrops popped into existence and rained around them from a blue cloud of cotton candy over them. “Um...woops?”

“No, no, keep going! This is an expression of who you are Pinkie. Chaos magic is indiscriminate, it isn't something that can be controlled, merely guided at best. And now, beings you're a prank master...I gave you my idol not just because I like you, but because I knew you'd be a great draconequus. Also...I'm currently on a prank spree using my old bag of tricks and artifacts. I've already pranked Twilight, Spike, and Applejack. I'm going to need some help if I'm going to catch the other trickster of your group....” Discord smiled evilly, and Pinkie joined him with a devious look as her eyes sparkled, making Discord shiver. 'Oh~...she's a keeper.'

“I've got just the thing~....” Pinkie sing-songed and giggled as Discord chuckled along with her, and he led her into the window, disappearing together to plan their next prank.

Author's Note

Woot, nother chappy. Yes, Dispie, I went there.

Unexpected Consequences

“Are you sure about this Pinkie? I mean, is she REALLY that gullible?” Discord asked his new best friend in Chaos, wondering Pinkie was really taking Rainbow Dash seriously. They were heading to Fluttershy's so Discord could lay low for a little while, and Discord pondered his relationship with Fluttershy, but couldn't imagine ever replacing her in his heart as “best pony”, but Pinkie isn't a pony anymore is she? Who's to say you can't have more than one “best” friend?

“Yeppers! She's Loyalty, duh! I'm Laughter; it'll be the last thing she'd expect for ME to be the traitor! Especially in a prank war!” Pinkie rubbed her leopard paw and dragon claw together, pausing and looking at them in contemplation. “But it will be hard to convince her looking like this...are you sure I can do it?”

“Pinkie dear, you underestimate yourself, and the ease that Chaos magic can be utilized. Again, as I said; all you must do is think of yourself appearing as you used to, and you'll take your old form. You'll still be a draconequus, but you'll be able to actually remain a pony at the same time. It isn't as limited as Changeling magic in this regard, as you're actually completely changing species. All that can never be changed is your connection to the Font of Chaos. Only more limited, think of it like my limiter collar.” Discord tapped his snazzy magical restraint as they exited the realm of reflection, and entered into Fluttershy's bathroom, which was instantly filled with two draconequus getting tangled up in the small space. “Um...Pinkie...I am admittedly attracted to you, but this is moving too fast....”

Discord was referring to how they got twisted around each other like snakes, which was quite an intimate thing, making Pinkie blush. “Sorry...forgot how small Fluttershy's bathroom is.”

“No matter, I'll just shrink.” Discord did so, untangling them and then they both left the small restroom. “Now then, I'm going to lay low here. Likely all your friends and maybe even Celestia or Luna are off in the hills trying to help Applejack, it would be best if you went there in your old form to try and set up our wondrous plans.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie~! I'll just...um....” Pinkie snapped her claws and suddenly flashed before reforming as her old self. “Whoa...uh...it's like I'm wearing a small “me” suit...I feel cramped....”

“That's how it will always be if not in your new true form Pinkie. Now then, remember; good luck charm.” Discord took out a beaded necklace that had a golden lightning bolt pendant as the centerpiece. Pinkie took it and put it in her mane, before zipping off out of the cottage so fast that she left a Pinkie-shaped dust cloud.

“Alright then.” Discord returned to his cobweb hammock and pulled out a small looking glass from his chest, where he could see what Pinkie saw; as it was a spell that he guided Pinkie into casting on herself so he wouldn't miss the shenanigans. “Let the fun begin, and for once I get to admire someone else's work.”

(<^>)

Applejack had made it out of her orchards without too much problem. She'd only ended up damaging a few trees on her way to Rambling Rock Ridge; a natural rocky ridge extending the majority of the north of the Everfree Forest, and was south of Canterlot. Effectively hidden from sight of any civilization. She was currently laying down, hiding her head in her forelegs in embarrassment. She's a strong mare, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, but she was so ashamed to fall for such a blatantly obvious trick as the Corpulent Cornucopia.

Speaking of which. “Why can't Ah stop eating? That varmint said it'd wear off by day's end, but I'm starving....” Applejack groused as she picked a leek out of the giant horn-of-plenty and chewed on it, increasing her size slightly as she sniffled, and savored the odd flavor of papaya. Her stomach roared, so loudly in fact that it sent light tremors into the ground, making her groan in pain. “Can't stand it...so hungry....”

“Applejack!” At hearing the welcome voice, AJ looked up tiredly at the source, to see Rainbow Dash flying at her at high speed, leaving her signature rainbow contrail. She stopped in front of AJ face, and they both stared at each other in awe. “AJ! You're HUGE!” Rainbow, ever the eloquent one, wasn't exaggerating in any way. In comparison, to AJ; Rainbow was the size of a large bug, while to Rainbow; AJ was a small orange mountain. “J-just hold on! I've got this magic flare thing to signal Twilight.” Rainbow landed and reached into her saddlebags to pull out a bronze tube, and she aimed it with her hooves away from AJ, and pulled a cord on the bottom with her mouth.

The tube fired a purple magic flare that shot up, and began to pulse like a beacon. Shortly; Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy all appeared in Twilight's purple flash of magic. They all gasped as they took in AJ's state, she was starting to look malnourished, her natural body fats being rapidly consumed by her hunger afflicted body, while her muscle was actually becoming more defined. “Help...please....” AJ pleaded in exhaustion, before she shoved her head into the horn and began eating, instantly causing her to grow.

“No! Stop! Oh no....” Twilight hurriedly fished out a scroll and the Funny Feather, and wrote a quick message, before using her magic to summon Spike, who was ready for it. “Send it!” Spike immediately did so, before joining them in looking in horror at the rapidly growing Applejack, who was becoming big enough to be a titan of lore.

In a flash of blinding pure light, Princess Celestia and Luna, who looked tired, both appeared, and after a moment moved into action. Celestia flew to the horn and stood upon it, seeming to scan it with her magic, while Luna used her magic to muzzle AJ to keep her from worsening her condition, which brought on a feeble struggle from the weakened giantess. Fortunately for all involved she was too weak to properly struggle, or there'd be plenty of dead mares. “Cease this at once fair Applejack! We are here to help!”

“Found it!” Celestia shouted, before she focused a beam of her magic into a certain spot on the outside of the horn, and soon AJ stopped struggling and the horn's wicker lightened from it's dead tan into a healthy fresh hay color. “It was an old faulty enchantment. It degraded to the point of forcing hunger on the victim rather than mere compulsion. Indeed; this is Discord's Corpulent Cornucopia. One of his many cruel artifacts that he kept from us. I'm sorry it has caused you pain Applejack.” Celestia explained in the royal Canterlot voice, but on a softer register so everypony heard her, but didn't cringe at the volume.

“Thank ya Princesses...I'm very grateful.” AJ responded when Luna released her from her telekinetic grasp, and sat up. She was, sitting, nearly a quarter the height of the mountain Canterlot was built upon. “But...how do I get back to normal?”

Celestia and Luna looked at each other sadly, before deciding to give the bad news. “I'm afraid the damage is done Applejack....” Celestia informed, making everypony become scared. “This is your new actual size. The only way you could live a normal life is if you were forcibly shrunken down with enchantments and charms.”

“But, you negated the horn's growth effect right?” Luna asked her sister, who nodded in reply. “Then worry not fair Applejack. Whilst we fashion a necklace large enough with the proper enchantment, you will not starve as the horn's food will no longer cause adverse effects.”

Applejack sniffed as she let a few tears fall, said tears crashed into the stones of the ridge like giant water bombs, splashing salty water everywhere. “How could he do this to me? What did I do to him?”

“Applejack, please know that Discord did not intend this. The Corpulent Cornucopia was not supposed to cause such unrestrained growth, nor was it supposed to force such hunger on the victim. Merely feed them all they desired. Discord's tampering with it did this, that may be true, but this.” Celestia gestured to AJ and the horn. “Was not his intention. It never got this bad back then whenever he did use it. At most, ponies grew to the size of houses. Not mountains.”

“So do not blame Discord entirely. If he has changed for the better, then when he hears of this he may try to find a way to reverse it.” Luna added.

Away from the group, in the shadows of the Everfree. A certain pink, disguised draconequus teared up at the turnout. “Are you getting all this Dissy?”

'Yes...I didn't know there was something wrong with the CC...I'll help her, don't worry. It should only take a little work on the CC, hopefully I can get it to both cause growth, AND shrinking depending on what foods were eaten. Are we still on for Rainbow Dash? I'm willing to call it off if not; I know when a joke goes far too far.'

“No...we'll do it. Besides, considering the nature of this one...it isn't faulty right?” Pinkie asked as she took out the necklace, and Discord examined it as best he could through her eyes and senses.

'No...there doesn't seem to be anything wrong. I was planning these pranks to also be gifts. You can only imagine how strong AJ is now.' Discord commented, and Pinkie took a breath, before putting the necklace away and zipping up to her friends and popping up behind Twilight.

“What-cha-doin'?” This made everypony, especially Twilight all shout in surprise. “Aaaah! Yourself. But that doesn't answer my question sillies.” Pinkie then let them all fill her in, pretending she didn't know any of this beforehoof. “Oh no! Don't worry AJ! Dissy will know what to do! Oh, and Dashie! Look at what I found on my way here!” Pinkie took the necklace out of her mane, and Celestia and Luna both gasped at the sight of it. 'Uh-oh, did they figure it out?'

“That's an original Pegasus military medal! From the Three Tribes era!” Luna gushed as she trotted up to it and examined it. At the mention of what it was, Rainbow was suddenly quite interested, and flew over it to look at it. “Oh my! Look at this engraving!” Luna turned the medal over to let the other's see, but only Twilight could read it among them, and it made her gasp at the Ancient Ponglish.

“It says it belonged to Commander Hurricane!” Twilight gushed, making Rainbow suddenly start fangirling.

“Oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh!” She took hold of it and looked at it closely, as if worshiping a treasure. “THE Commander Hurricane? The founder of the Equestrian Military and co-founder of the original Wonderbolts?!” Rainbow put it on, making Pinkie smile a bit wider which nopony noticed, and Discord to chuckle. “It fit's perfectly, it's like-.” Suddenly, Rainbow was gone.

Lightspeed

Discord laughed wildly as he swung a bit in his high-up web hammock. “Oh that was priceless! Fell for it hook, line and sinker! All because of you my pink partner in pranking.” Discord started chortling as he could see through Pinkie's eyes what everypony else there couldn't aside from Pinkie herself. “Look at her panic! Look at that raw unnecessary fear! All she has to do is take the necklace off, ha, ha, ha~! Just wait Pinkie, when she calms down she'll enjoy our little gift.”

'If you say so Dissy. Wow...she's really reacting badly...but it is still funny since she's safe, he, he.'

(<^>)

“Somepony! Please! ANSWER ME!” Rainbow screamed in despair as everypony aside from Pinkie all frantically looked around for her. Pinkie, meanwhile, simply looked straight at her with a signature little smile Dash knew all too well. “Pinkie! You traitor! You're working with Discord aren't you?!”

“Oh silly Dashie! Of course I am!” Pinkie responded to everypony else's confusion, but her friends easily wrote it off as Pinkie being Pinkie, in that she could still somehow see Dash. “I mean, really, try going for a flight. See what it's like, being a living mass of light.” Pinkie suggested in rhyme, and Dash looked at her transparent hooves before she suddenly remembered: Light was the fastest thing known to ponykind! It was only slowed down when brought into the realm of physical matter with magic. And she wasn't in the physical realm!

“Whoa...um...tell the girls I'm going for a little trip...I've never been to Prance before....” Dash became very excited about flying halfway across the world so quickly, and then literally seemed to instantly vanish to Pinkie's eyes.

“Have fun in Prance, Dashie!” Pinkie shouted pointlessly, knowing Dash couldn't hear her, and willingly drew the full attention of her friends and the Princesses. “Dash is now currently a living mass of light, and she's going on a trip to Prance.” Pinkie supplied, and her friend's all raised eyebrows, while Celestia and Luna both became aware of the situation.

“Oh! That was Discord's Light-speed Medal! He must've changed it's appearance to make convincing Rainbow Dash to wear it easier. So Pinkie Pie; you're on Discord's side in this prank spree?” Celestia asked with a smile, and Pinkie giggled as she held herself back from a full-on outburst of laughter.

“Yeppers! I've also got news from him for Applejack! He's sorry about the CC acting the way it did, so he's going to fix it once his limiter is removed, so he can reprogram the enchantment to allow multiple effects.” Pinkie listened to Discord for a moment and blushed bright red. “Um...that's a little pervy Dissy....” Pinkie listened some more, and flicked her ears with wide eyes. “Oh my...um...I'm not repeating any of that. Let's just say it'll come with instructions, kay?”

“And how is it that Discord is conversing with thee fair Pinkie Pie?” Luna asked in suspicion, beings Discord is bound by a collar that limits his abilities outside his own personal manipulation.

“Oh~ nothing special...just-.” Pinkie erupted in a cloud of pink spoke, and then it dispersed to reveal her new draconequus form. “THIS!” Pinkie took the moment of shock to snap her claws, and cause the rock around them to turn to rubber, and suddenly cause a downpour of chocolate milk, with no clouds! “Dissy gave me his Idol! Now I'm all chaos-y too!” Pinkie giggled as she jumped and bounced on the rubber rocks like a trampoline.

“Oh my...I hope you realize what you've gotten yourself into Pinkie Pie.” Celestia gently warned as she calmly took the news in. Something her sister and the others most certainly weren't doing.

“DISCORD! THOU DOTH HATH CORRUPTED THE ELEMENT OF LAUGHTER! WHAT DOST THOU HATH TO SAY FOR THYSELF?!” Luna shouted in the Royal Canterlot Voice at Pinkie; knowing Discord could hear her through her.

Pinkie blushed slightly and giggled. “He says: well now she's a laugh and a half! He, he~!” Pinkie twirled a curl of her mane in a claw bashfully. “Oh~ you're such a flatterer Dissy! I'm not THAT pretty....” Pinkie started idly drifting in the air, as she tittered and blushed in a silent conversation with the Lord of Chaos, occasionally speaking out loud, hinting at rather naughty banter. “Well! I never! We'll just see about that later mister!” Pinkie was suddenly a little mad, and pouted in disappointment for a moment, before raising an eyebrow. “With sprinkles?” More silence. “Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie bounced back to her usual self, and then turned her attention to her friends. “Don't worry girls; you'll see what Dissy has planned soon. But for now...tee, hee~, I get to say it! I have Chaos to wreak!”

Pinkie snapped her new appendage, and vanished, taking the rain with her, but suddenly causing cocoa trees to sprout in a wild and disorderly orchard in the rubbery rock of what was once known as Rambling Rock Ridge. “Wha?! Now how am I goin' ta git outta here without hurtin' no trees?! Only way I got outta Sweet Apple Acres was because the proper rows made avoidin' em easier.”

“I don't know Applejack, but we have to stop this! One Discord was bad enough, but with Pinkie on his side, AND ultimately Discorded?” Everypony shuddered, AJ's shivers causing the ground to ripple, making all the trees and ponies wobble. “We've got to get this situation under control! Can I count on your help Princess Celestia, Princess Luna?” Everypony turned to the diarchs at Twilight's question.

“I'm afraid I have to return to Canterlot; I interrupted my Court when I took off at Spike's urgent message. It won't be long before the Guard mobilizes in panic to find me....” Celestia frowned as she thought about this. “I seriously need to loosen them up a bit....”

“I would love to aid you friends but-*yawn*-I was awoken in the midst of my slumber. I fear that unless it is an immediate emergency; then I am next to useless soon. I must retire to my bed if I am to raise the moon on time this evening.” Luna informed, before rubbing her eyes, which everypony noticed had darker circles around them.

“Oh dear, you'd better head back then. I think we can take things from here, right girls?” Fluttershy asked in concern for the princesses, and her friends all nodded in understanding.

“Oh yes, goodness forbid I impede a mare's right to her beauty sleep! Rest well darling.” Rarity confirmed with Luna.

“Don't want no riled-up guards scurryin' everywhere. Best git on back then.” AJ supplied good-naturedly, as she bit into a papaya, and winced. “Blegh...rutabaga....”

“Yes, I just hoped that with your help we could've taken care of this faster. We'll be fine, you've both got a nation to run.” Twilight affirmed, and they waved before Celestia and Luna teleported back to Canterlot. “Ok girls! Here's what we're going to-.” Twilight was interrupted by Rainbow Dash suddenly appearing in a flash of light, still wearing the medal but she was also covered head to tail in souvenirs.

She wore a traditional sombrero obviously from Marehico, was munching on an eclair that was very scrumptious to look at even half-eaten, was wearing tight green lederhosen from Marevaria that really defined her flanks, and lastly had jewelry in bangles, bands and hair accessories all over her, clearly from Saddle Arabia. “Hey girls! Just got back from Saddle Arabia. I'm not usually one to accessorize, but those mares really know their stuff. I should take you next time Rarity.” Dash smiled happily at her friends, all ready to gush about her quick tour out of the country as they gaped at her, making her stop eating her eclair n confusion. “What?” However, what they were focusing on was that her prismatic mane and tail were flowing like Celestia and Luna's, and, ultimately...she had a new appendage poking through the top of her new hat. “What is it? You're all staring at me like I've grown a second head. I mean, sure, I'm amazing and all but-.”

“Rainbow Dash! Just...are you aware at all?” Twilight asked in astonishment, wondering what this meant; WHY did her brash friend suddenly become an Alicorn?!

“Aware of what? That I'm awesome? Of course I am-.” She was interrupted by Twilight conjuring a mirror in front of her, making Dash gasp and gape in shock. “WHAT THE BUCK?!” Rainbow stopped flying, and landed harshly on her rump, before she ripped her hat off and inspected the new appendage with her hooves. “What...I don't even...what?” Dash looked at her tail, and finally noticed it was all magically flowing. “Well...I guess this explains why everypony I talked to was so willing to give me free stuff....”

Black Diamond

Discord was humming as he watched Pinkie's antics through his looking glass, chuckling now and then at a particularly good one. As of now; Pinkie was on a “rampage” through Ponyville, turning all the buildings into functional regenerating gingerbread houses that instantly repaired themselves by replacing whatever was damaged within moments. As expected, everypony was running around, screaming in hysterics about “THE HORROR” that was happening, whilst all the fillies and colts instead were cheering Pinkie on as she conjured them sweets, and did tricks on demand.

It was a party, and everypony was invited.

'She's so much fun! I should've done this sooner, but then again things were always in the way. I was just lucky that after that whole debacle with Tirek that anypony was willing to give me another chance. Now then, time to get things in...ugh...order....' “Pinkielicious, my sweet.” Pinkie paused in the middle of juggling chainsaws, rubber chickens, and papayas, making them all fall to the ground and suddenly turn into gumdrops, to the amusement of the children. “As much fun as it is watching you spread merriment, we must get on with our plans. Do you have it?”

'Yeppers!' Pinkie replied mentally as she waved goodbye to the kids she was entertaining, and then warped into Rarity's boutique. 'Is this REALLY a good idea Dissy?'

“Pinkie, once this is through; you and all your friends will be so much better off than before, you'll see.” 'Oh yes, you'll see....' Discord looked down at a sack that was hidden in the corner, behind the sofa and end table. He sadly remembered what was in said sack, and hardened his resolve. 'I am doing this for more than myself, after all....'

(<^>)

After calming down, Twilight laid out the plan for everypony. Since Dash's transformation was completely unexpected, unprecedented, (even by her own ascension) and unpredictable, it was unanimous, (aside from Dash) that Dash should go to Celestia and get her assistance with her new state of existence. Dash complied, but would now and then pop in from a flash of multi-colored light to convey messages between Celestia and Twilight on the matter, which was even faster than dragonfire mail, beings even without the pendant; Dash was now essentially a living mass of light, able to enter and leave physical form at will.

Thus effectively cementing Dash as not only being the fastest living thing in known existence, but confirming with Celestia that her ascension is absolutely genuine. As Alicorns govern an aspect of existence, Dash represented Light. Which was confusing to everypony, beings Celestia governs Light with her bearing the control of the sun. But Celestia further explained that there is more than her Light of Life, but also the Light of Sight, among other things. It was also important that Rainbow Dash represented Loyalty, and like the element itself; was bound to react in defense of those she's loyal to faster than lightning.

Needless to say; Dash was very smug about all of this.

She was currently hovering to the side of Celestia's throne, making a literal royal ass of herself, doing twirls and flips to amuse herself as Celestia smiled in shared amusement, while the rest of the court tried and failed to ignore the suddenly newly ascended Duchess Rainbow Dash shaking her flanks like it was her birthday. “Aw~ yeah! My coronation or knighting or whatever, is going to be so, awesome~!” Dash gushed, and Celestia tittered in contained laughter, whilst the nobles all grumbled about how wings and horns were being given out like candy lately.

“Duchess Rainbow Dash. I know it is quite fun and amusing to tease the other nobles, but we must seriously be carrying on with business. You may go wherever you please, beings I see nothing else happening to you.” 'And please leave, you're making it so hard not to laugh so loud I deafen my subjects.'

“Alright then, so we're absolutely sure, that if my friends are in any REAL danger...that I'll sense it and come flying to help?” Rainbow needed to clarify this, seriously, Loyalty ain't no joke.

“I am positively certain. Should something endanger someone you care about, you will be impulsively drawn to protect them.” 'Really, even without the actual elements, these mares are shockingly identical to the elements themselves, no wonder they could bear them.' “Also...would you please remove those tights? I feel it is unbecoming of a mare of your station to wear something so...scandalous....”

Celestia was referring to Dash's lederhosen, which, as stated; REALLY drew attention to her flanks. “Hey, as far as I'm concerned; if anypony's looking, they know quality.” Dash wagged her eyebrows as several stallions in the room all blushed and coughed, cleared their throats or just looked away. “Yeah that's right you horn-heads, I saw you looking. These cerise eyes aren't about to miss lookie-loos, I have a lot of practice.” Rainbow then spun around and lifted her tail, shaking her green tight-wearing plot at them all, making them all yell in surprise and mostly turn away, but plenty of them stared without regret.

“Miss Dash! I must ask that you not be so...provocative in my courtroom.” 'Darn it, leave already you silly mare, you're making it very difficult to keep a straight face.'

“Oh alright, you spoilsports. I'll just take my royal flanks elsewhere. Now then...hmm...haven't been to Zebrica yet....” Dash flashed away, leaving everyone taking breaths and sighs of relief.

(<^>)

Rarity entered her home and business, a groaning Sweetie Belle on her back. Said filly was moaning as she rubbed her bulging belly, the multiple colored stains around her muzzle displaying that said tummy-ache was the result of overindulging in a multitude of sweets. “Now, Sweetie, I know Pinkie's little chaos spree is an opportunity for you foals, but now you face the consequences. Perhaps this will teach you a lesson.”

“I-urp-regret NOTHING!” Sweetie shouted in defiance, before her cheeks fill with air and she promptly leaps off her sister's back, and runs for the restroom. Shortly, the sounds of retching are heard. “I regret everyth-*blegh*!”

“Oh, the poor dear. I'll have to stop by the clinic and get some stomach medicine. Where did I leave my saddle-ah! There you are.” Rarity trotted up to her bags and was about to put them on, but stopped and reexamined them. “Hm...I don't remember the strap having such a beautiful black diamond on it before....” Rarity cast one of her signature spells, this one letting her accurately and thoroughly identify all aspects of a gem. If Rarity hadn't become a tailor, then she'd have been a jeweler, but she didn't have the patience for the metalwork involved in making more complex settings for the jewels. “Hm...it is indeed a diamond, an impressive pure black diamond that could easily be mistaken for jet, were it not for the fact that light does penetrate through it. I'm not sensing any impurities, or foreign magics...well, Pinkie must have put it on my bag for some reason, but I don't sense any way this can cause me harm.”

“Ugh...it burns....” Sweetie cried from the bathroom, followed by more vomiting, making Rarity wince.

“No time! My sister needs me!” Rarity put on her bags and quickly cantered out the door. Because it was on her back however, Rarity could not see the shimmering deep purple aura that flashed, and spread from the black diamond to cover her. “Oh dear...some sort of nausea medicine for certain, but what will soothe the pain?”

Rarity was so concerned with considering what medicine to buy, that she didn't notice that it seemed like everything was getting shorter, ponies were looking at her in awe, the stallions and the known filly-foolers especially. 'Hm...I don't want to just give her that pink medicine, that would completely throw her abused system off-track....' Rarity paused at the clinic entrance because she had to open the door, and didn't notice that the color of her magic aura had changed from a shimmering light blue, to a velvety purple. “Hello Healthy Herb, I need to purchase some stomach medicine for Sweetie. The dear has consumed far too many sweets, and is violently paying for it at the moment.” Rarity didn't notice that her voice had gotten slightly deeper, and had a husky breathy tone to it.

Healthy Herb, the pharmacist of the clinic, was an older but not-quite-that-old ginger-maned earth stallion with a brown coat and eyes. Although he wasn't as skilled as Zecora, he'd been the primary medicine provider for Ponyville for decades before she came along, and he was tendering retirement in favor of offering the zebra his position at the clinic. Also, he was currently gaping at the beauty before him. “Um...miss? Might I first ask your name?”

Rarity was confused, she'd visited the clinic plenty of times to buy medicine. “Why would you ask that? It is I; Rarity.” Rarity reminded him, wondering if he was suddenly becoming senile, as rude as the thought was.

“Wha-Miss Rarity?! B-but...what happened to you?” He looked her over, and tried very hard not to ogle the young mare, as he was far too old for her, and he noticed that Rarity looked genuinely perplexed. “You must've been caught by that rampaging draconequus without your notice. But I'm not sure how “bad” this can be considered.” HH produced a large hand mirror from under the counter, and held it up, making Rarity gasp in shock.

“W-w-w-what~?!” Rarity took the mirror into her new deep purple magic aura, and used it to examine herself. She was now easily as tall, if not taller than Princess Luna. Her figure was comparable to beauties such as Fleur de Lis, her coat was now a dark, velvety purple with a lustrous shine to it, her mane and tail the same style as before, but long and flowing light purple with a single silver streak through them, and shined like her coat. Even her very cutie mark had changed, her diamonds having become brighter with what seemed like an inner light, and were joined by smaller diamond-like stars. Her last bit of focus was on her eyes, which seemed to have diamonds like her new cutie mark in her irises, and her corneas were now a light silvery blue instead of white. “I look...AMAZING!”

“Indeed.” Health nodded in affirmation, but then got back to business. “Now then, a medicine to cure nausea, as well as soothe the burn of vomiting from mouth to stomach coming up. That'll be ten bits miss.” HH turned around and went to work gathering the components and measuring them to make the medicine.

“Oh, yes. Sweetie matters more than a...wondrous makeover.” Rarity fished out her bits, but paused when she saw the black diamond on her saddle was now gone. “Hmph...some prank this is Discord...what are you up to?”

Endangered Species

“Ah, it is good to finally see the Diamond of Darkness used up, and as intended at that. Don't need yet another Nightmare running around.” The black diamond that transformed Rarity was one of Discord's more dangerous artifacts, beings simple exposure to it planted The Nightmare into Luna during their final confrontation prior to the sisters obtaining the Elements of Harmony. This metaphorically killed two birds with one precious stone; Rarity get's her gift of becoming gloriously beautiful with power to accompany it, whilst one of his most unpredictable artifacts is disposed of. “Now who next...I'm saving dear Fluttershy for last....”

“Discord.” Fluttershy gently called through the house, as Discord had melded himself into the ceiling to hide himself from the gentle mare. “Discord, please come out. I know you're here.” Fluttershy hovered into the air, and checked his cobweb hammock. “Oh mister spider, have you seen Discord lately?” Fluttershy leaned in so she could hear the arachnid's tiny clicks, hisses and screeches to decipher them. “Oh, he left? Then I guess I should go tell Twilight he isn't hiding here. Thank you mister spider, I'll get you some extra flies as thanks.”

Fluttershy landed and winced, as her wings twitched, and she bit her lip in quiet agony as a feather fell out of her left wing. “Oh no....” She looked around, and then up at the spider who was supposedly the only other living being in the room. “Please don't tell anyone mister spider.” Fluttershy then picked up the lost feather, which had fresh blood in the stem, and quickly trotted to the hidden sack, opened it, and deposited it with the large number of yellow feathers of similar state. “I can't let anypony know....” Fluttershy teared up slightly, before sniffing and then hiding the sack again and leaving.

Discord exited the ceiling, and looked at the door his friend had left through, his heart lancing in pain for his friend. “Don't worry Fluttershy...help is coming soon.”

(<^>)

“This is madness!” Spike stated as the group sans Dash and Pinkie gathered at the edge of Ponyville, AJ sitting facing the town and still eating from her horn, as although cured of her emaciating hunger, her new size demanded a proper intake of food to recover from her recently malnourished state. She was just lucky she didn't need to use the restroom yet.... “I mean; aside from Twilight and Fluttershy, everypony has been transformed! Applejack is a giantess, Pinkie's a draconequus, Rainbow Dash is an alicorn, and now Rarity's even more beau-uh-dazz-um...very...different.” Spike blushed as he attempted in vain from referring to his crush as gorgeous, of which everypony there already knew, especially Rarity who contained a titter.

“Oh go on and say it Spiky-wikey! I'm glamorous!” Rarity posed regally, and Spike's already obvious blush turned his purple scales red. “I must say, that while Discord and Pinkie's antics are rather disruptive; they've been very...intriguing in their “side-effects” if you will.” Rarity looked up at AJ. “For instance, Applejack has clearly become stronger, if she were able to use her new gift constructively, then farming would be a quick few hours rather than a day-long-chore. Pinkie Pie has clearly been using her new power to her benefit to spread joy, as although scared at first, everypony is starting to enjoy her antics. Rainbow Dash is now royalty, even if it is of lesser status, and has become the fastest thing ever; her greatest dream beyond the Wonderbolts. And I...well.” Rarity cast a spell, and suddenly the field around them for several hundred feet erupted as hundreds of gems of various types and qualities burst out of the ground. “I've become much more powerful as well as beautiful. Gathering gems and making dresses will be easier than ever for me.”

“And I now have a quill that is both nice to look at, a conversation piece, never runs out of ink, and is a fun little toy as I've learned. Feather, Rarity!” Twilight quickly stated, and the Funny Feather flew at Rarity from Twilight's saddlebags, and started briskly swishing at the nape of her neck, sending her into glorious giggles. “Quill.” It stopped, and Twilight returned it to her saddlebags with a grin. “Discord is doing this not just for Chaos, but hes doing it for us too. I guess this just proves once again that, Discord is our friend.” Everyone all smiled as they understood this wasn't just a series of unusual pranks.

“Oh dear...but that just leaves me and....” Fluttershy stated and then looked at Spike, who blinked in confusion.

“What?” At his question, suddenly a certain pair of Draconequus both popped into sight behind him from an invisible door that revealed the living room of Fluttershy's cottage.

“Surprise!” Pinkie shouted as she suddenly grabbed Spike's mouth from behind and held it open like the flip-top of a trash can, and Discord quickly stuffed a jade pony-like statue into his mouth, and then they both closed his mouth all within mere seconds before anypony could react. “Eat up!”

“It will be a very...fun turn of events.” Discord said before he and Pinkie laughed and walked through the invisible door that she opened behind him, and slammed it shut as everypony gaped at where they were, before looking to Spike to see he was moaning and writhing on the ground in ecstasy as he chewed his delicious meal.

“Oh! It's so good! It's so smooth and soft, but with a strong flavor!” Spike swallowed before they could stop him, and he sat up with a dumb look of satisfaction. “That...was the best thing I have ever eaten.”

“Spike! Are you ok? Do you feel unusual?” Twilight was by his side, examining him from all angles as she levitated him around in place.

“No, just slightly dizzy from you spinning me like this. I mean I feel a little-*BURP*!” Suddenly Spike burped and a shockingly huge swathe of emerald flames danced forth, encompassing him and hiding him from sight as Twilight dropped him with a shout of pain, as the magical dragonfire seared her horn through the spell. “Ah! What's happening! I can't see!”

“Spike!” Everypony shouted in worry as the flames condensed around him, and then started dissipating, but nopony could clearly make him out, and when it was finally gone, it took a few moments for the smoke and wavering air from the intense heat to see him clearly, making the mares all gape at him like the stallions were gaping at Rarity.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Spike's voice asked from the new being, but it was noticeably deeper, and suave. “What's with my voi-OH MY GOSH!” Spike raised what he expected to be a claw to his throat, but instead was met with a purple scaly hoof. “What happened? What am I?”

Spike had completely changed, but was still some sort of dragon, if a dragon was equine-shaped and had hooves instead of claws. He was about as tall as Celestia, but with far more masculine, muscular, yet lithe features to him as he was a stallion rather than a mare. He was still covered in his purple scales, and his ridge of green fins still extended from his head, down his neck, back, and all along to the tip of his long dragon tail in descending size from his mohawk head fin, to the tiny ending fin just before it ended with a spiky veiny fin like a fish but vertical like a shark fin at the tip.

His face was sharp and well defined, like a perfect mix between dragon and pony, his piercing slitted emerald eyes were captivating, and helped add a feral sort of predatory allure that was aided by his sharp fangs peeking from his muzzle. Most notable of all were his green horns which were reminiscent of Tirek's, yet smaller and angled back rather than up, and his green webbed dragon wings were flared, making him seem even bigger. On his new flanks, were cutie marks of an emerald inlaid quill writing on a nondescript scroll, portraying his talents of archiving, which only really Twilight knew of how capable he really was since she instilled it in him.

Overall; he was hot, very hot by pony standards. “What's going on?” Spike's new pony ears were angled back and touching his new horns in his worry. “What happened to my claws! How can I possibly write like this?” In his panic, Spike suddenly ran over to Twilight, who was busy rebooting her brain, and reached into her bags to try and grab the quill, which he could, and was now idly aware of Twilight's plight of how they could pick things up with hooves as it was now his own plight. “But my writing! It used to be so nice, how can I do that now?”

Spike finally looked back at the mares, seeing them all blushing, and in Rarity's case; drooling. “Um...girls?”

“Hush Spike, let us recover.” Rarity practically demanded, as she practically molested him with her sparkling eyes, making Spike's eyes widen, ears stand up, and his tail to undulate slightly like a serpent in instinctive response to a potential mate, and Rarity licked her lips to stop the drool such an unintentionally seductive action produced. “Boutique, bedroom, now.”

“Uh...Rarity...he is still Spike-.” Twilight managed to finally snap out of it at Rarity's obviously lecherous intent towards her adoptive little brother/son figure, only for her to reel back at Rarity's ecstatic face.

“Even better! Come hither my glorious gentlecolt stud!” She grabbed him in her velvet purple aura, and they both teleported away to somewhere private, leaving everypony to blush their coats red, while Twilight was trying to get dirty thoughts of her little brother/son figure out of her head.

“...He's a Kirin! Discord and Pinkie turned Spike into an extinct species of dragon-pony!” Twilight shouted upon fully managing to grasp the situation, making AJ and Fluttershy finally come to their senses, and AJ giggled at a dirty thought.

“Considering how good he looks, and what Rarity's likely doin' to him now...I don't think extinction is a worry here.” AJ smirked as Fluttershy buried her blushing face with her hooves and covered her head with her wings, and Twilight gaped at her giantess friend in shock. “What? We all know Rarity is going to totally-.”

“NO! NOT THINKING OF MY LITTLE BROTHER LIKE THAT!” Twilight quickly tried to erase the images one of her best friends and her little brother-gah! “DISCORD! PINKIE PIE! I'M GOING TO GET YOU FOR THIS!”

Changing Stripes

“I TOTALLY knew that would work!” Pinkie squealed in glee at her eavesdropping spell let her hear. “Those two were just MEANT for each other! Spiky is such a gentlecolt, and Rarity is his princess. It was just a match made in the stars.” Pinkie romanticized as she fluttered her eyes at Discord, who chuckled.

“Pinkie my dear; that was exactly what I had thought as well. I mean really, at the rate things were going; Rarity was going to get too old to have foals before she found her “prince” and Spike would have grown up all alone, destined for a rough and loveless series of matings with detached dragonesses merely for the purpose of procreation. I wasn't about to let two of my friends suffer such loneliness.” Discord explained as he then walked over to Fluttershy's couch and plopped onto it, Pinkie doing so next to him and they both sighed in content.

“So, what's next? All that's left is Fluttershy, and I still think she's too sensitive for anything we could do.” Pinkie stated in worry, but Discord rebuffed her with a smug smile.

“Worry not Pinkie Pie; Fluttershy's gift is utterly necessary but nothing that will be too shocking. But, she isn't the last one of our friends we can bring some Chaos to.” Discord snapped his talons, and a little voodoo doll shaped like an equine appeared, but it clearly had a chosen target already, beings it had a twined bit of black and white hair added as it's tail.

“Oh~ Zecora! What're we up to with her though?”

“You'll see Pinkie. This time; let me do all the work.”

(<^>)

It was another normal, hazardous day in the life of Zecora. The usual; trot right into the depths of the Everfree for some needed herbs and other apothecary supplies, fight vicious predators with nothing but a staff and her martial prowess, and return home for brewing potions, then dinner, and sleep. It was a simple yet not-so-simple life, but it was one the young zebra mare loved.

Didn't mean that elder stallion at the Ponyville clinic's offer to replace him as the pharmacist wasn't an enticing offer, especially during moments such as these.

As of this moment, Zecora was just returning to her hollow tree home from another eventful sojourn into the forest, bearing new injuries and new ingredients. One of said injuries was a vicious claw slash that had bled freely until she applied a coagulant potion to the wound. “Another day, another scar, how long Zecora will you let your flesh, these creatures mar?”

Zecora shrugged off her saddlebags with a hiss as it agitated her wound, and then had to peel off her cloak from the injury, as the rapidly scabbing blood stuck to it, causing her pain. In the glass of the window, both Discord and Pinkie watched from their transparent hiding place, with Discord patting Pinkie's back as the new draconequus held her paw and claw to her mouth in shock.

“See Pinkie? I have my reasons for helping you all with my old trinkets. For Twilight, she simply needed to lighten up, Applejack's work keeps her so busy, she's hardly around as much as she could be, so I gave her the ability to do her work faster. For you; well, I just wanted somebody who could really spend mutual fun and funny times with, the fact it helps you fulfill your wish to make others happy is a bonus. For Dash; well, if she became a Wonderbolt, how often would you all be able to see her? Being a Wonderbolt is a full-time occupation. With her new status, likely soon-to-come fame, and her ultimate speed; she'll have all she ever wanted, and still be with you girls whenever she wants.

Rarity...well, look at her! I mean, she was beautiful before, but add in the power of the Nightmare, untainted by jealousy or hate, and you have a whoa-ho-ho~ mama kind of mare. She's plenty happy about that, and also frees up her time for you girls. Finally, as for Spike, I've already explained, and he and Rarity will be quite happy together. Now...for Zecora. The lonely mare lives out here alone for reasons that are not mine to divulge, just me snooping about has me feeling guilty for invading her privacy. But as you can see, she's regularly in peril from her chosen profession.” Discord finished, and Pinkie sniffled.

“What'll Miss Cursey do? Isn't it just used to torture others, or make them indirectly experience things?” Pinkie asked, as she looked up Zebrican and Haytian traditions after their massive goof-up with Zecora when they first met her. Hey; party pony's gotta know what not to do to offend guests! Don't you doubt her!

“No, and...Pinkie...what are you glaring at?” Discord turned towards the random direction she was glaring at, and sighed. “Pinkie...I know the Fourth Wall is hard to ignore, but you must resist the temptation.”

“But it's mocking me!” Pinkie taps a spot in the air, causing a stony click against her dragon knuckle. “You better stop that mister!”

“Pinkie, we don't want the Fourth Dimension getting off their collective rumps and traipsing across Equestria. There are enough alternate universe that have such an issue. Just look at that.” Discord pointed to another random point in the air, and Pinkie grimaced.

“Oh my...yeah...I'll stop if it means not having a world-spanning war led by avatars of random gods. So...Zecora.” Pinkie focused back on her zebra friend, and saw that she was now applying a topical paste to the wound, which hissed and steamed as it rapidly healed over, and new fur grew in over it, to Zecora's pained relief. “What's the plan?”

“Just watch, and learn my sweet.” Discord began to mess with the doll.

“Oh! My word! What is this tingle I've not felt since last with my herd?” Zecora blushed as she felt a gentle and soothing caress run down her spine, making her sigh. “This comforting feeling reminds me of home, of my family all the way back in Roam.” Zecora closed her eyes as she decided to lay down and embrace the familiar sensation of comfort she'd not felt since she was granted protection by the village shaman who had used a.... “No....” Zecora spoke in Zebrican, and growled before bolting to her feet. “Who dares to use a voodoo trick! Stop, for if I find you there will be a price to pay you hick!”

Zecora took a step towards the strongest presence of the sensation, only for to her horror, her leg buckled beneath her, sending her crashing to the floor. Before she could finish getting up, she saw what had caused her fall. Her right foreleg, from hoof to shoulder, was melting into a puddle of unknown liquid that matched her striped pattern. “Please! Cease this curse, I plea my release!”

“Be calm my exotic mare.” Discord appeared from the window, and walked over to the horrified zebra. “You're simply becoming...well, everything actually.” Zecora gasped in shock as one of her ears liquified and dripped into the growing puddle of...her. “What I'm doing is more or less; turning you into the ultimate shape-shifter. Able to take on any form so long as it is alive.” By now, All that remained of Zecora's original form, was her face and muzzle desperately wincing as she tried to stay afloat, only for Discord to put a single finger of his lion paw on her muzzle, and shove her into her formless body. “Now for the finishing touch.” Discord put Miss Cursey in the center of the puddle that was Zecora, and the eyes lit up red, before the black and white striped puddle rapidly drew in around it, encompassed it, and then quickly formed back into Zecora, laying on the floor as if she had never changed.

“What hex is this you monster!” Zecora screamed in Zebrican, and quickly pounced at the draconequus, only for him to shrink to the size of a bug, and she flew clear over him, and crashed into her cauldron, where she splattered on impact, turning back into a black and white striped liquid, which mostly gathered in the large pot, but quickly reformed into the zebra mare, who was astounded at how that not only did she just liquify and reform again, but it was painless. She should have impacted head-first into the large pot and gotten hurt, but instead she was perfectly fine. “I am unharmed?”

“Yes my dear, as was my intention. You'll learn more about your abilities as you experiment with them, but the biggest goal of this was to make it so you wouldn't be hurt so easily. Enjoy my dear, for I must be off for the finale!” Discord flew into the same front window he came through, with it still closed, and Zecora looked at her hoof in bewilderment, as she imagined a plant she needed, and suddenly said plant seemed to grow from her fetlock.

“Hm...I will have to test, see if my body can let my work rest.”

Crusader Maneframe

“Dissy that was mean! You really scared her!” Pinkie scolded the elder draconequus with a pout, her mismatched hands on her mismatched shapely hips. “You could've gone about that a LOT more gently!”

“Oh dear, I'm sorry Pinkie. If it made YOU upset, then it was too far. But I wanted to hurry things along; we're almost ready. Just one last thing, and then we can hatch our plan for dear Fluttershy.” Discord appeased the irate female, and he relaxed when she scoffed and then got back her cheery and bubbly persona.

“So~ one more?” Pinkie asked, all giddy as she tapped her bestial fingers together.

“Yep! Actually, it's a three-for-one.” Discord then held up a multicolored puzzle necklace, that had three triangular shards that locked together with triangle teeth, and each one had it's own woven soft rope on the outside corner. One piece was orange, the second yellow, the last a soft white. Indicating it's already chosen targets. “We're going to give a certain trio of trouble-making fillies a serious leg up on the average pony.”

(<^>)

“Ugh...my stomach....” Sweetie groaned from her bed, curled in on herself while recovering from her violent vomiting episode a couple hours ago. She was only slightly better thanks to her gorgeous sister getting her some really nice peppermint flavored medicine to ease her suffering. Sweetie then pouted in annoyance; of COURSE her sister would come out of this situation smelling like daisies, and more beautiful than a black rose. Meanwhile, poor, little, blank-flank Sweetie Belle laid in bed from eating too much of her name sake.

“When will I finally get a break?” Sweetie asked bitterly, before suddenly-.

*SLAM!* “Hey Sweetie!” A familiar voice practically screamed into her suddenly open door with clear excitement. “Did you get to enjoy all that awesome stuff going on outside?!” Sweetie was cringing, face in a bucket Rarity had so graciously left for her “just in case” and pulled her freshly bile-coated muzzle out of said bucket, and glared at the source of the jolt that agitated her poor system, making Scootaloo; the perpetrator, flinch back in embarrassment and guilt. “Heh, heh...sorry....”

“If the answer wasn't obvious; yes, I did. Too much honestly.” Sweetie swished her mouth and spit the rest of the lingering bile into the bucket, and sighed. “Wish I didn't.”

“Ah think it's best you get this experience outta the way, ta learn somethin' from this.” Sweetie's other best friend; Applebloom, supplied as she entered the room as well. “Seriously Scoots? Did ya have ta just barge in like that? Ya already know Sweetie don't like it when ya do that.”

The orange and purple pegasus filly blew a raspberry playfully. “Please; she knows I only do it because we're friends. Sorry about making you throw up again though Sweetie.”

“It's fine, I feel a bit better after purging most of that vast amount of high glucose content from my stomach.” Sweetie stated, and sighed at her friend's blank faces of “you've what your what?” that her more developed diction often brought about. “I feel better without all that sugar in me.”

“Why didn't ya just say so? Why ya always gotta be so fancy with words Sweetie?” Applebloom asked as she and Scootaloo both turned to exit the room, the slightly ill unicorn filly following her friends out and down the stairs towards the kitchen.

“Hey, it's something that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon don't have! So someday, I can totally hold it over their entitled, prissy puerile minds.” Once again, they paused as she lost her friends and sighed. “I can lord my higher intelligence over their childish ways.”

“Geez, sometimes you sound like such a nerd Sweetie. Why don't you learn magic faster if you're so smart?” Scootaloo asked in pertaining to their personal classes with Princess Twilight.

“Hey! Magic is a lot more complicated than wordplay! You have to consider all kinds of things! Thaumaturgeical signatures, leylines, force of will, intent, feedback-.”

“ARGH! My ears! Make it stop!” Scootaloo sarcastically screamed in false terror. “You're trying to turn us into geeks!”

“Hey! At least I'm not the budding alchemist!” Sweetie shouted in return and pointed at Applebloom, who had already gotten out a few glasses, some milk, and a small jar of honey she brought with her from home to help sooth Sweetie's stomach again, as well as let them have a tasty treat.

“What about it? Alchemy ain't really that hard. Just gotta know the recipe, the conditions of the ingredients, the temperature it needs to cook at-if it needs cooked-and-.”

“UGH! I'm surrounded by nerds!” Scootaloo bemoaned, as she pretended to fall backwards with her forehooves held to her chest, as if holding a wound. “My friends have killed me...with their lameness....” The three fillies then burst into giggles, and promptly had some milk and honey. “So Sweetie, beings today was so hectic; think we could sleep over? I've got some good stories to tell.”

“Oh I don't know, that's up to Rarity. But considering I haven't heard from her since she left after giving me medicine, I think she might be too busy to keep an eye on us.” Sweetie stated, not knowing that her sister was in her bedroom, with male company, the room magically soundproofed and the door firmly locked. “Also...what are you girls doing here? I figured your family's would have you locked inside with all the chaos going on.”

“Pfft! Chaos? Please, the adults call this chaos; I call it fun! Sure things around here aren't really dull, but this sudden spree of randomness has been great!” Scootaloo stated as she took a sip of her milk. “But yeah; my parents tried to keep me home, but I left through the window as usual. Besides; Rainbow Dash will protect us if anything bad should really happen.” Scootaloo fangirled for a moment, not knowing just how accurate such a statement was now.

“Well as fer me; Applejack said ah'd be fine coming over to visit you, especially after she mentioned that Rarity told her you was sick. Of course, that was before mah big sis's belly grumbled, and she blushed before runnin' fer the hills.” Applebloom giggled and snorted, as her friends looked sufficiently grossed out.

“Ew! Giant poop! I hope somepony can take care of that.” Sweetie tried to get the subject of giant poop out of her head, when there was a knock on the door. “Huh? But the sign should say closed.” Sweetie downed her stomach-soothing milk, and trotted to the front door, where when she opened it, nothing was there. “Huh?” Then, a trio of colored triangle necklaces fell onto the doormat, making her look up to see nothing as the source. “That's unusual.”

“What is?” Scootaloo asked as she and Applebloom both approached, and Sweetie used her recently obtained levitation magic to pick up the necklaces, and close the door.

“I don't know, somepony just left these necklaces on the doorstep.” Sweetie showed them to her friends, who both suddenly became interested in them, Scootaloo taking the orange one, and Applebloom the yellow one, while Sweetie was happy for some reason that they left her the white one.

“Golly, these things are oddly attracting. What's with the teeth and missing bits though?” Applebloom pointed out, making her friends also notice them.

“Oh! Hey, I remember this! These are friendship necklaces! They connect together to show that we're so close to each other.” Scootaloo informed her friends, who looked at her in surprise, and Scootaloo blushed and stuttered. “I-I mean, I r-remember this from what some of the other girls in class were talking about!”

“Well, let's see if they do connect, it'd be so cheesy, but sweet if they did.” Sweetie smiled as she held her piece up, Applebloom connected hers to Sweetie's, and Scootaloo took a moment to swallow her embarrassment before she did the same, completing a larger triangle. “This is pretty cool.”

Suddenly, the triangle began to glow slightly, the orange one became engraved with a pegasus wing, the white one a unicorn horn, and the yellow one with stomping hooves. The fillies gasped and tried to let go, but found they couldn't. “What's happenin'?!”

“I don't know!” After their panicked cries, they were blinded, and screamed as they felt a powerful tugging sensation along with a feeling as if they were hugging each other very closely, before suddenly it was over. “Ugh...my head.”

“Me too.”

“Me three....” It took a few seconds, but they each came to a sudden realization. “Hold on...why did mah mouth move when y'all spoke?”

“Your mouth? But it's my mouth that's moving!”

“No it's mine!” They opened their eyes, and looked around, and gasped at the sight they saw in one of the boutique's mirrors.

Instead of three fillies, there was a single alicorn mare. She was of average height, but of slim build, and seemed to be the amalgam of fillies she was. Her eyes were tri-colored, with one third of the iris being amber, purple, and emerald respectfully, and seemed to rotate slowly around the pupils. Her head and neck were white, her horn long and sharp. Her body was yellow, and strongly toned with muscle despite her lithe frame. Lastly her big, strong wings were an eye-catching contrasting orange. Her mane and tail were a fusion of all three fillies' usual colors and styles, being Sweetie's bobbing curls at the ends, Applebloom's straight fair hair in between, and Scootaloo's wild, untouched bangs and shaggy tail to finish off, and she also wore a bigger version of Applebloom's mane bow. On their neck, was the completed friendship necklace, only the original part was now made of jewels of their coat colors, and mounted on a golden band like the Elements of Harmony were before they were returned to the Tree of Harmony.

“What's going on?!” They all asked simultaneously, making the mare's voice sound like an ominous fusion of three voices. “Why're we all in one body?!”

“Because MY Alicorn Amulet cannot work unless it is utilized by three ponies of the three different tribes.” They spun around, and flared their wings instinctively at the familiar voice, and saw Discord and Pinkie emerge from another mirror. “Oh how precious! You're all so beautiful when you grow up.”

They blushed, and rubbed a hoof against the opposite leg in embarrassment. “Th-thank you....” They then blinked and snapped out of the moment. “H-hold on! This isn't permanent is it? We don't want to be stuck like this! We each have our own dreams.” The mare then looked down at the amulet, and tapped it. “Take this off! We love each other dearly, but...what?” They were suddenly scared, they realized it just now; they had each other's thoughts, feelings, memories. “No! We don't want to forget we're separate ponies!”

“Now, now; calm down dearies. This is, in a fashion; permanent, but only if you decide to remain fused forever, or take off the amulet and lose it. Separating is as easy as disconnecting the pieces of the amulet, but only if all of you want to be separated.” Discord explained, making them balk at him and the quiet Pinkie, who was restraining her excitement with a beaming smile.

“But we don't want to...be...what? Scoots? Why?” She asked a third of herself, who was all too happy at this turn of events, but needn’t have. “Yes...we know...well...yeah....” She blushed, and giggled. “This COULD be fun....” She looked back in the mirror, and smirked as she posed, one foreleg raised, wings flared and head held high. They didn't realize it yet; but their fused form was more or less their combined age, at least in alicorn years, making her mentally a mature mare, if not for the childish streak. “Oh~ we could definitely live with this. But what'll our parents say?” …. “Meh, don't care, let's do this!”

She then spun around, and playfully dragged a forehoof on the floor, and snorted. “Oh dear~! Pinkie! The mighty Crusader is after us~! We mus flee~!” Discord caught on and played along, as he grabbed Pinkie's leopard hand with his eagle talon, and ran out the door. Pinkie giggled mirthfully as the combined mare, now dubbed Crusader, sedately galloped after them with her tri-toned voice laughing.

The Purpose

Discord, Pinkie and Crusader were all rolling around on top of a grassy hill in Ponyville's park in a circle, laughing like life-long best friends. “Oh! Friendship! Is so magical!” Discord gushed, as he stood up and looked at Pinkie and Crusader, who were still giggling at the nonsensical game of tag they had just gotten through. “I haven't this much fun in...well, ever!”

“See Dissy? You might've learned of the magic of friendship, but now you see the true magic! The Spark!” Pinkie then exploded into a cloud of confetti, only to whirl about them and reform hugging him and Crusader together in a group hug. “The Magic of Friendship is only achieved by being with your friends.”

“Yeah! Like us for instance! We were so alone before we met each other, and even though we're still blank-flanks...we have so much fun together that, even after we do get our marks, we're not about to stop being friends.” Crusader then perked up and looked at her flank, and then sulked at seeing it was still blank. “Aw dang...we were hoping that this fusion provided some sort of hint at our talents....”

“Oh Crusader, you silly fillies, not even I can interfere with the power of the Mark. Sure, I could swap them for a day, but it wouldn't have any effect beyond the appearance. A pony's talent is their talent; nothing can change that.” Discord mussed Crusader's mane comfortingly, making them giggle and shake his paw off. “But you girls...I just know you'll realize your talents soon. Maybe my gift to you will help with that, but it alone is not a talent; just a means of realizing it.” Discord hinted, as he looked and saw a slight fade-in of a purple triangle on her flank, being cradled by great wings protectively. 'I wonder who of the three that belongs to?' Discord thought slyly.

“Discord!” Suddenly, without warning or preamble; it seemed that the entirety of the Celestial and Lunar Guard had the trio of friends surrounded with spears and horns aimed at them. “You are to remain here whilst the Elements arrive! By Order of Princess Twilight Sparkle!”

Discord, Pinkie, and Crusader looked at each other in bafflement. “Gosh...Twilight must be REALLY angry to actually use her princess privileges like this....” Pinkie nervously mused.

“Uh...well...I think you all might have pushed her buttons a bit too much.” Crusader commented, and then smiled. “Hey! We're being detained by the Guard! This is such a good story to tell!” Crusader then internally debated on the matter, and blushed. “Oh...yeah this isn't good!”

“Now, now; let's not be hasty in our assessments. This still works; it just means we'll have less legwork to do getting things set up.” Discord was suddenly wearing a tux, and a top hat with monocle. “My good sirs, and madams.” Discord added upon noticing several mares mixed in with the usual stallions. 'It is good to see some mares getting interested in taking more active roles in generally male positions.' “We will await her highness and her companions with patience. There is no need for such hostility.”

They all then smirked and holstered their weapons and ceased charging their spells. “We know.” The likely CO stepped forwards with a sheepish grin. “But we just really wanted to do that.”

Discord, Pinkie, Crusader, and a good number of the guard all snickered at this. “A guard with a sense of humor? It is good to see some progress being made in today's military. Might I ask why there is such a blend of the Celestial and Lunar Guard however?”

“We're all being transferred to Princess Twilight Sparkle's castle; to garrison it properly and eventually form her own personal branch of the guard: the Twilight Guard.” He then shrugged. “Ostentatious, naming us directly after the princess, but it fit the theme that the other Guard regiments had, aside from the Crystal Guard, but I digress.”

“Oh~ so she gets her own toy soldiers now? I'm so proud of Twilight! Moving up in the world!” Discord then leaned in close to the CO, and whispered conspiratorially. “Tell me, are the rumors of what Tia and Luna do with their guards in private true?”

The CO blushed scarlet, turning his illusionary white coat bright red. “I-I...cannot confirm, nor deny such allegations....” Discord then contained an explosion of laughter, knowing what the stallion really meant.

“Oh~ ho, ho, ho~! I'm going to tease the color out of Twilight for this!”

“Oh? With what Discord?” Twilight asked, as she and all her friends arrived through a parting in the guards, including the giant Applejack and the Duchess Rainbow Dash, who was now wearing a full Wonderbolts uniform, but without any dressings to indicate her as a member.

“Oh Rainbow! Haven't seen you in a while. Please tell me you didn't....” Discord pleaded, hoping Dash didn't join yet before she thought it through.

“Naw! I'm too fast now. Really. I have to actually learn to tone it down before I can be part of a stunt team. Nothing really visually impressive when I just pop in and out of the visible spectrum.” Rainbow then grabbed the chest of the outfit, stretched it, and snapped it back. “But I just LOVE the latex uniform!” She then snapped her head back, smiling cheekily and shaking her plot, causing a huge section of the guards to blush and look away. “Yeah~...love it.”

“Discord, listen.” Twilight brought attention back to herself, and trotted up to Discord. “I know you're helping us, I know you're having fun doing it. But what is your ultimate objective? Why are you bringing such...Disharmony to everything like this?” Twilight asked, and Discord wore a patient and understanding expression.

“I have many reasons Twilight. We're friends, for one. I had ways to improve your lives.” Discord swept his arm from her, and across all her friends from Applejack, to even Zecora who had been contacted earlier. “And sought to make it so.”

“But why like this? You could've just asked, arranged things, or-.” Discord looked down on her with a raised eyebrow, and his arms crossed. “Spirit of Chaos, right, you don't do organized.”

“Exactly! But that wasn't the only reason. I had to create a scenario where Disharmony and Harmony equalized.” Everyone was confused, and he smirked. “Let me explain. You see, Twilight, Chaos and Order, Disharmony and Harmony; go hoof-in-hoof. While I prefer an abundance of Chaos, some Order mixed in makes the residual magic in the very air more potent, more malleable and controllable one could say, at the same time as well. Chaos is potency, Order is control.”

“And your plan for...Fluttershy?” Twilight asked, coming to a realization. “What could you need so much residual magic to do to her, that you couldn't do with your usual powers? You would've done it before now when you didn't have your limiter on if you could, so you're doing it indirectly, injecting just the right amount of Chaos into all of this.”

“Correct! The reason being because...of this.” Discord reached into his chest, pulled out a plain tan sack, making Fluttershy gasp and he unceremoniously dropped it, spilling yellow, bloody feathers onto the grass. Making everypony gasp, and the pegasi in particular to shiver and then look at the yellow pegasus in horror, making her whimper and cower from the attention. “You thought I wouldn't find out Fluttershy?”

“....” Fluttershy began to cry silently, too cowed to speak as she sniffled.

“Fluttershy....” Rainbow was impacted the worst, and quickly landed to hug her. “Why didn't you tell anypony?”

“What? That I'm...I'm....” Fluttershy hiccuped, and then bawled. “DYING?!” Fluttershy hugged Rainbow back, and her friends all gathered around, as they all felt their very beings shudder in terror.

“She has a degenerating birth defect, that will kill her from weakening her body drastically to the point of eventual failure. Obviously it wasn't apparent enough or doctors would've been able to take the proper measures when she was a filly.” Discord informed everypony, as he held up an open medical textbook. “It is so rare that it is unnamed, but occasionally, a pegasus with mixed parental heritage will be born weak, and have weak flying muscles, bones, and feathers. This isn't much of a problem, as if treated early on and properly, the pegasus will grow up to be normal, and live a normal life. But for Fluttershy, the doctors that treated her did not catch it because she was only slightly weaker than an average newborn when her mother gave birth to her.” Discord closed the textbook.

“I know all of this, because when I noticed the bleeding feathers, I did some digging, I investigated, asked her doctors...invasively, and gathered all the information I could. I would have acted sooner, but now was the best time, with everypony in town, with my own powers restricted, and the balance of Disharmony and Harmony at the very closest center; I had to take my chance.” Discord then pulled out another sack, and then took a large mirror, half silver, half gold, with a chrome reflective surface, that was as tall as him and as wide as three pony's abreast. He set it at the top of the hill, and gestured for Fluttershy to step forward. “Come Fluttershy...I can save you...I won't let my dearest, closest, first true friend to die like this.”

“W-what will it do to me?” Fluttershy asked through her sobs, seeing hope in her friend's promise.

“It will awaken your father's genes in you, bring them forth. The reason you are so weak, is because you were born with all of your father's genes being recessive, and you were incomplete because of it. Did you know who your father was?” Discord asked, as Fluttershy shook her head; her mom never told her more than he was a handsome heartthrob of a stallion. “Well through some effort, I tracked him down. And...well...look in the mirror my dear. The sight may surprise you.”

Fluttershy approached tentatively, looked back at her friends, who nodded and urged her forward, and she finally approached and looked into it, and gasped. It was her as a vampire bat-pony again! Only, instead of her red, angry eyes and her feral demeanor, she was just like her, with gentle blue eyes, and her fur well kept. “My...father was a Thestral?”

“Yes, my dear. Ultimately it is your choice. You can stay as you are and die in a couple years time...or you can touch the mirror, and become complete. The Mirror of Truth reveals who you are, but it is only under the most perfect conditions that it can bring what is true to light. I couldn't think of any other way to save you. My other artifacts would have only delayed the inevitable, but this will cure you.” Discord looked at her pleadingly. “Please....”

Fluttershy looked at her reflection, and then nervously opened her mouth and prodded the fang her once-thought-temporary transformation had left behind. “I...I want to live. I don't want to leave you all so soon.” She looked back into the mirror, and placed her hoof upon it. The reflection smiled as their hooves met, and then wavered, before it then mimicked her movements perfectly. Instantly she gasped she could feel it. “I...I'm not in pain anymore!”

Fluttershy examined herself, and opened her new yellow feathery bat wings in amazement. Now that she was fully aware of herself, she felt so alive! So strong even. Not weak, tired and in pain all the time. She started crying, weeping tears of joy as she leaped at Discord and hugged him so hard he started gagging. “THANK YOU-HO-HO~!”

“Ga-Flutter-can't-!” She released him, and kissed him full on the mouth, making everypony's eyes bug out, and Pinkie to literally blow her top with steam.

“Hey!” Pinkie then popped up between them, and separated them. “He's MINE!” Pinkie then started kissing him instead, making everypony gape while Fluttershy blushed and squeaked cutely in embarrassment at her joyful outburst. They were really kissing deeply, and when they pulled apart, they were panting. “Wow...um...sorry?”

Discord was dazed slightly with a stupid grin on his face. “Don't be.” Discord dipped her, making her squeak, before they started kissing again, and then started making out as they fell to the ground in an embrace.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Twilight pulled them apart with her magic, and was blushing madly as she also had a silly smirk. “Get a room!” Everyone laughed, and with a few orders, the guards dispersed. “So Discord...is this it?”

“Yes. My dear friend Fluttershy is now healthy and well. The rest of you are better off...save AJ. I'll get right on that if you would just....” Discord tapped his collar, making Twilight roll her eyes before she flew up to it and tapped her horn on it, making it snap open and fall off. “Yes! FREEDOM!” Discord shouted as suddenly the sky began to rain Fluttershy's clean, former feathers, making the mare blush in embarrassment.

“Oh my....” She then looked at her new wings and ran a hoof on the inside, relishing the feel of her new wing's downy feathers beings they didn't need full proper ones anymore. “I could get used to this.”

“I could too.” Fluttershy squealed when she felt a spank on her flank, and looked back in surprise at Dash who smirked cheekily. “You do realize you've gotten some muscle with that new form of yours, right?” Dash wagged her eyebrows, making Fluttershy turn red.

“Ee-ee-ee....” She squeaked in nervousness, and then bolted off into the sky like a rocket.

“You can't escape me now butter-flanks!” Dash flashed away, and somewhere off in the clouds, they heard Fluttershy's signature squeak as if it came from a bullhorn.

“Ah knew those two was crushin' on each other. What especially with Dash tellin' me bout her bisexual fantasies.” AJ snickered and then tapped the horn. “Well? Git to it!”

“Right away!” Discord flew around the horn, turning the spirals into a rainbow of spiraling colors, and then snapped his talons, making the fruits the horn formerly produced into different colored granola bars. “Done~! Each bar does something different, as told by it's color. For instance; red will make you grow like so.” He gestured to her. “Blue will shrink you down.”

AJ then looked at the other colors...and couldn't resist. “What would orange do?” She tossed an orange one into her mouth, and suddenly, her frame grew slightly taller, and thinner. “Huh?”

“Orange makes you taller and thinner, purple will make you shorter and stouter of frame. There are also...other~ effects the other bars can give you.” Discord wagged his eyebrows, and AJ blushed. “It isn't just the colors and different bars however. The amount of change they instill is also affected by your will.”

“Wait...so it should only take one blue one to get down to size?” AJ then grabbed both an orange and a blue bar, and ate them both at the same time. She and the horn rapidly reduced size until she was of acceptably average height. Only.... “Well...yee-haw.” She was tall and lithe like most model-worthy mares, but retained plenty of her muscle tone. “Ah am SO goin' to have fun with this.”

“Wow! Can I have some?” Crusader asked, and, FINALLY, everypony looked at her in confusion, but quickly connected the dots from her appearance. “What?”

“Sweetie?!”

“Applebloom?!”

“Scootaloo?!”

Rarity, AJ and Spike all asked in shock and worry, making Crusader jolt back with her ears folded. “Hey! Don't scare us! Yeah, we're all here, but while we're in this form; we go by Crusader.” Crusader then flipped her mismatched mane and flared her wings. “We look good don't we?”

“Oh~ no ya don't! Ya'll separate this minute, or yer grounded Applebloom!” AJ demanded, making Crusader glare at her.

“We're not a little filly anymore Applejack! We're over thirty!” This made everyone balk, including Discord who started to sweat a bit. “Wait...what? No we're three fillies fused together whose collective ages are around thirty or over...uh...wait....” She looked around, and spotted a random stallion performing gardening duties, and suddenly flared her wings. “Whoa....” The others all looked at him, sweating, flexing his muscles as the green earth pony stallion ripped a particularly stubborn weed from the path. “...He's hot....”

This made everypony else whip around to glare at Discord, to see he had vacated the area with Pinkie, and a sign that read, “Sorry about this, but you'll adjust to the new alicorn princess.”

“DISCORD!”

Author's Note

That's all she wrote! This fun little thing was a joy to write, I might even make sequels! I have a few ideas already~ but I still have my original fanfiction I'm debating posting on this site or not, considering it is of a mature nature and is deeply seated in crude politics, the tragedy of immortality, and my own developing AU world.

Welp, time will tell, but as of now, Discord's had his fun...for now~.