Don't Enter Hell Alone

2. Shadows of the Past: The Lost and the Secret

2 Years Earlier…

I couldn’t believe the day was finally here!   My suit was ready and was laying over the trouser press.  The sun shone bright through the window, and the birds were singing in the distance.  The wind rustled softly.  It was going to be a good day, I could tell.

I was never right about these things, but today I was I just knew it.

I took a deep breath, but my anxieties would not quieten.  I’m getting married.

After all my bad relationships and all my toiling heartbreaks had I finally found the partner I truly deserved?

This Mare from Appleloosa, she really was too good for me.  She loved me for who I was, and I loved her.  It almost seemed like something from a dream or cliché from a romantic movie.  I took another deep breath, again in vein to my nerves.

I stepped in the shower, and let the hot water ease my muscles and bones from a hard stag night, and over restful sleep.  I was glad we had chosen to get married at night, because there’s no way I would have gotten up in time.

We’d been engaged for almost two years now; it was time we finally made things official.  My thoughts drifted to the wedding as the hot water made its way over my body.  It wouldn’t be long before it would all become a reality.

I was interrupted by a knock at the door of my shower room.  “Corporal?  Your carriage is here already.”

“Shit!  I’ll be right out!”  I turned off the shower, grabbed the towel from beside me and rushed to my room, drying myself in a hurry; and almost throwing my suit on to the best of my ability – not spoiling it.

I clambered down the wooden stairs of my Ponyville house and boarded the carriage bound for a secluded section of the woods.  Not the everfree forest.  It was a small clearing in the middle of an acre of trees.  I’m not sure where in Equestria it was exactly, I have a bad sense of direction and the carriage driver did most of the driving.  I knew it was half a day’s ride.  It should be noted, that this bad sense of direction I later had drilled out of me when I ascended the ranks in the Air Force.  I was always getting extra laps for getting lost on practice missions – and the C.O. hated my guts for it.

“Astral I said south, god damn it!  Have you got shit for brains?”

“Sir, No, Sir!”

“Then take your cock out of your hand and fly properly.  This ain't Ponyville Kindergarten it’s the Air Force!”

“Sir, Yes, Sir!”

I missed the old coot.  Good old Sergeant Major Iron Hoof.  I hated him at first, but really he made us the best we could be, and for that I was thankful.

The lads called him Iron Dildo on the count of him being a giant ‘dick.’

As thoughts of the service flooded my mind, I felt the carriage come to a stop.

“Are we there already?” I asked, “It can’t be.”

“Sir, no it’s…” Said the carriage driver, struggling to find his voice.

“Man, what is it?  Speak up!  If that asshole of a carriage puller wants more money you can tell him to suck my---“

I stumbled out of the carriage, the sunshine; which had been shining so brightly, was now turning the sky to a deep crimson, and on the road; a mare dressed in a gown of white, her life running out onto the road.  A magenta mane, and orange body, and a purple heart cutie mark.  Beside her remains, a brown cowgirl hat and broken rim-straw.

“No…” I gasped.  “Appletrim…please…don’t let it be you.” My lip shuddered.

My legs, failing me, I forced them to step forward; almost falling in the dirt from shock alone.  The sky faded to a dark blue, and then to a black as the sun slid over the edge of the world.

“Is this some sick joke…?” I asked, my voice breaking and failing me.  “This can’t be…”

I fell to my knees by her side; the great thunder rent the sky in unison with a flash of white.

“Appletrim!” I screamed, tears pouring down my face.  Her lifeless body in my hooves, her blood-stained dress sliding off of her.  I tried my best to fix her dress up.

“Your gonna be okay… I’ll save you, you’ll see!”  I sniffed.

“Sir.” The coachman said

“No!” I snapped, “She’s gonna be okay.”

“She’s gone Sir.” He said tenderly.  “Let’s take her home.” He placed a hoof on my shoulder.

“She’s just sleeping that’s all.  She’s gonna be fine.” I bit my lip again, it was trembling furiously.

“Sir, we need to get you both to safety.  Whoever did this may be after you next.” The coachman insisted.

I got to my knees, praying for them to work, but no matter how much I tried I couldn’t lift her up onto my back.  And no matter how much I told that bastard coachman he wouldn’t believe me!   He said that Appletrim was dead!   How could he say that!

“Sir, we have to go…”

The rain pounded down on us, and all three of us worked hard to get Appletrim to safety where she could get better, but she wasn’t going to last much longer…

I made reference to the dark times in my life.  This was one of the darkest.

I didn’t want to believe she was gone.  That night, my legs failing me, the coachman helped me walk, and ultimately he carried both of us that night.  Bride and Groom and took us to safety.  We went back to Appleloosa, and there I said my final farewells to Appletrim…In my mind she could be saved, but in truth, she was already gone when we found her… just like the Coachman said.  My heart was breaking in a thousand places, and the pain was so bad, I couldn’t breathe.  I thought that I too, was going to die…

The next morning, Princess Celestia gave a speech.  In Equestria it is custom to bury the dead as soon as possible so they do not become jealous of those still on the world and become evil.  We buried her the following morning.

“Appletrim, was a hard working, honest and dedicated mare.  She gave her life to her family, her friends, her husband and her children.” Began Princess Celestia. “I will find the evil doer behind this awful tragedy; I will see them brought to Justice.  In the meantime we should always remember the Joy that Appletrim brought to all while she still walked with us.   I know that she will watch over us from this day forward, from her place with the stars.”

She took a deep breath and continued silently, “Go, now young mare, and find peace.”

Princess Celestia approached me, my body was shaking uncontrollably.  “I know this time is hard for you, but I think it best I look after Big Mac and Applejack and keep them safe.”

“B-b-but…” I protested.

“You aren’t in a state to give them the care they need right now, which is understandable, and while I find it noble that you wish to raise them as your own, even though they were not born of your genes, I don’t want anything bad happening to any of you, the best way I can do that it to separate children and surrogate father.”

“I lost my wife.” I stammered, hurt, angry, heart broken.  “And now you want to take my children away from me?” I yelled.

“I understand you’re hurt, and angry.  Let them at least spend the night with me, and think it over.”

I reluctantly agreed.  I wasn’t going to win anyway, she was the Princess.  She does as she pleases.  And that is what I told her.  “Do as you want, just don’t expect me to be happy about losing my kids.” I snapped, bursting into tears.

“Mac, Jackie.  You’re gonna stay with the Princess for a while okay?” I kneeled to them.

“Are you okay pop?” Piped up Big Mac

“I’m okay son.” I replied chocked up.

“Dad, why are you crying?  Are you scared?” Applejack asked.

“No, Jackie, I’m gonna be just fine.  But Princess Celestia wants you two to have a sleepover with her aren’t you lucky?”  I sniffed.

“But, Dad, we want to stay.” Protested Big Mac

“Now, don’t argue with the Princess, you need to go.  Besides, you’re a stallion now Mac, you have to look after your sister.  I might need to sort some stuff out, but the Princess has promised to take care of you for a while.”

It killed me to send them off, and I don’t think they spoke to me again.  I think they even forgot all about me.  To this day, they don’t even recognise me in the street.  I wanted to say something many a time… but they looked so happy together, I didn’t want to spoil that for them by bring up their mother’s death again.  They were only fillies really, and I like to think that they don’t remember that awful event.

I do regret that Big Mac never really talked much after that.  But I have watched them from a distance in-between work.  Being a Pegasus has its advantages.  I was happy to see they turned out to be healthy, honest and hardworking Earth Ponies like there mother.  It seems that moving to Ponyville really did help them.  Most of all, Appletrim's Mother, Granny Smith lives there.  So I knew they were in safe hooves.  It was a huge family, and they all stuck together.  I know it was a happy and safe place for young fillies to learn and grow up in.

That night at my house.  The events followed as such:

“Astral?”  Came an authoritative voice.  “I’m coming in.”

“Well.  Luna.  Come to toast with me?”  I spluttered.

“Toast to what, exactly?  Just how much cider have you had?”

“A few barrels.” I hiccupped, “that’s all.”

“A few barrels!  I cannot allow you to continue this heinous act.  One mug of cider is good for your health, more than that is bad for your soul.”

“My kids are gone, my wife is gone, poof.  Now my drink is gone.  Wooo down the garden shoot.   What should I care?” I spluttered again, incoherently.

“Astral, you have your kids to think about.”  Luna said in a maternal tone.

“The kids that…that Old Bag ‘Molestia’ took from me?”  I snapped, “Forget it.”

“My Sister isn’t taking your kids away from you.  You should feel honoured, not many ponies can say their kids have been foalsat by the ruler of Equestria.”  Luna tidied up the various instruments of drink around the room.

“You’ve never drank, when did you take this up?”

“That Royal Guard fellar drop by or sumfin.  Left me this rope.  I don’t know how that’s supposed to help me drink.” I looked at it puzzled and with my vision blurred.

“Guards!” Yelled Luna of a sudden, they burst in from outside; assigned to protect Luna.  “Astral, what did he look like?”

“I don’t know – I was depressed, and now I’m, I’m, drunkt.”

“Guards, lock the Ponyville gates and search for any impostors that may be posing as one of you!  Hurry!”  Luna ordered.

“I ‘member when we were at flight school together, you and me.  Hows comes an Alicorned starts school at nineteen hundreds years old hmm?  Aren’t you supposed to do that in your youth?” I spluttered, drunkenly, manovering my empty mug and eying it up and down.

“For your information, nineteen-hundred is youth for an Alicorn.”

“Ohhh-ho, the big bad Alicorn Princess got butt hurt.  A-ha!”  I screamed, “I wanna die…” I sobbed.

“Your emotions are a roller coaster of a wreck, Astral, I’m putting you to sleep.”

With a spark of her horn, I was out, and when I woke up in the morning I had a huge headache and an equally long apology list for Luna.  The next morning in my house; I had two Princesses in my front room.  And double the guards.

“I think its best given the circumstances and how your feeling mentally and emotionally right now that Mac and Jack live with there family in Appleloosa for a time, then when they are old enough to work, they can move to Ponyville with the Apples to plough the land of their ancestors.  We may have to invent their back story a little, but I feel it is for the best.”

“I’m sure that you know, that a Stallion of your age is not necessarily a good father, your still in your teens, and where we do not judge the age of a loving couple, your mare was considerably older than yourself.  It may be healthier for you and the children to remain seperated to each other.” Added Luna.

I hung my head in shame of what I was that previous night, and accepted her judgement as a mercy.  I knew that the Princesses were right.  I emptied my Ponyville house a week later, and moved to seclusion in the Everfree Forest.

To be continued…