Ruler, Protector... Gamer?

by Distorted Flare

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 2432

Celestia and violent games went about as well as Discord and a formal ball. And yet after trying one of Luna's games she finds herself craving more.

Celestia never got the appeal of games. She knew Luna occasionally played them but her question was what was the point of them? After chasing her sister off of her new gaming console Celestia decides to investigate.

Published 2014-11-11 21:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-11 21:30:04 UTC

Chapter 1

‘Bored... so bored.’ I mentally sighed, watching with disdain as the two ponies before me once again broke down into petty squabbles. Rubbing my eyes tiredly, I turned my focus to the large clock that sat perched on the nearest pillar to my left. Thankfully my sister’s shift would start in two minutes and I would be free for the night.

Looking at my hoof, I idly fidgeted with my horse shoe. For the past hour I had had the pleasure of listening to two ponies argue over land rights. A serious matter were it not for the fact that as their ancestors were related they both technically owned it. I had tried to be diplomatic and suggested that they split the land. This fell on deaf ears and honestly neither had bothered to ask me for my advice. In fact all I had done for the past twenty five minutes was drown out the inane bickering whilst taking solace in the fact that my work was nearly finished.

I loved my subjects equally, but by the stars above they seemed to get bent out of shape over the smallest of problems. Many of the problems I was approached with daily, could be solved or avoided with nothing more than a bit of common sense.

Even my most faithful student and fellow princess had a habit of over reacting. The inhabitants made big deals out of small situations, though this was the curse of a country, that had not seen war for over a millennium. It was not their fault at the end of the day.

‘Come on,’ I groaned. The hand moving sluggishly around the clock. With only twenty seconds to go I giddily counted down the seconds. The guard to my left stifled a yawn at the two nobels arguing. It had been a long day and luckily the night guards and my sister would be here shortly to open the night court.

‘Five, four, three, two, one, freedom.’ I mentally cheered. The clock striking seven with a soft chime, signaling that the day courts were now closed.

“As you can see your highness this diagram shows tha—.” The duke paused as I held up a hoof.

“I am terribly sorry gentlecolts but the day court is now over. I am sure my sister will be more than happy to solve this conundrum though. If you both wait outside I shall go personally retrieve her, good evening to you both.” I smiled. standing, I stretched my wings before hopping off my throne, leaving the grand room as my guards escorted the two ponies out.

With the rest of the night belonging solely to me I planned to spend it reading a good book and enjoying a nice bubble bath. Approaching my sisters bedroom the familiar sounds of that horrible device became louder and louder.

“Luna, it is time for you to perform your duties as princess of the night!” I informed her, knocking on her door as I heard a groan of frustration from the other side. Rolling my eyes I pushed the door open entering the dark room. Sat around an enormous TV sat my sister playing one of her video games.

“Greetings sister.” she replied, chuckling as her character tore another pony in half. Sneering at the disgusting display of gore I spoke up

“Sister the night court requires your presence and it is time to raise the moon.” I chided.

“Yeah in a minute.” she brushed me off waving me away as I huffed. My horn light up the room in a gentle yellow as the controller was torn from her grasp.

“You, moon... now!” I instructed snorting as she growled at me. In a small huff she stormed past me never looking back. “Honestly Luna what do you see in this mindless violence?” I sighed my hoof gliding along the controller. I nearly jumped when the character fired his weapon my hoof having accidentally clicked one of the buttons.

I looked between the controller and the character, before testily touching the button again. The character's weapon roared to life as a door in front of her was reduced to rubble. A pony holding a weapon came out shouting in saddle-arabic as he was cut down by my weapon.

Horror coursed through me as I realised that I had killed somepony. Who could possibly enjoy such a display of barbarity. Shaking my head I calmed myself despite the vile image on screen it was just a game at the end of the day. No pony was actually dead as it was just a collection of- what did that pony call it- ah yes, pixels. All the same though the detail and realism of it brought back far to many bad memories for my liking.

Who ever had designed this monstrosity had obviously looked extensively into war and murder. It made me wonder what kind of pony would want to do that. To research the horrors of the past and present just to create a murder simulator. I honestly felt a bit of pity for them.

I had to admit though. That killing the pony had been slightly exhilarating. I had not been in a war for well over 1200 years. Whilst I detested war, in my younger years I had loved nothing more than crossing blades with a worthy foe. It brought back memories of simpler times when it was just Luna and I exploring the world.

“Well done soldier you’ve done one hell of a job. Return to base for further assignment.” The gruff voice congratulated me snapping me out of my musing. the screen slowly turned black as small pictures of different weapons appeared on screen. Each labelled and a small description about their use.

Slowly, I made my way over to Luna’s couch sitting down as my curiosity got the better of me. I looked at the controller in wonder using my magic to slowly spin it. A small round icon appeared at the bottom of the screen rotating as I watched it in a trance like state.

‘Maybe I would give this whole gaming thing a try, just to see what the fuss is about of course’ I assured myself. I found myself strangely looking though the characters eyes rather than seeing all of her. Her weapon also looked different. Gone was the giant gun I think it was called a mini-gun in its place, a smaller, sleeker rifle.

“Your mission objective is simple marine retrieve the package and kill anyone that stands in your way.” the callousness in his voice in regards to killing made me uncomfortable was this what young foals were playing now a days. Games that promoted and encouraged the killing of others. I would need to look into games impact on ponies choice making but for now I would investigate this game.

Hesitantly I pushed the round stick button making the character look up into the air. pushing it down I established that the right stick was for observing one's surroundings. I assumed that if right was to look then left obviously was to move. My suspicion was confirmed as the mare took a step forward. Smiling at my progress I tried out the red button to the right of the controller my character seemed to crouch before finally lying down on the snow. Lightly tapping the “B” button again mare rose to her knees then to her hooves. One by one I tested the buttons out learning their uses as I reached the last button. The button above the shooting one. Pressing it I held it down as a small cross hair appeared on screen.

BOOM

I yelped as my character exploded, blood smearing the screen.

“You were killed by your own grenade” The text flashed across the screen as I angrily muttered under my breath. The sudden death had startled me but not wishing to cause the little pony any more harm I made a note to avoid grenades. I would not allow my character to suffer such a fate again if I could avoid it.

Walking down a path I flinched as a high voice cried from the side cracks of gunfire causing me to panic as I tried to shoot back. I spun around wildly the gun spraying bullets all over the snowy hill tops. In my panic I accidently pressed a button that made my character throw the loud, blinding grenade. The end result was the screen going pure white nearly blinding me and my character dying.

With a small chuckle at my failed attempt I grudgingly had to admit that despite my failure that had actually been fun.

“Right round two!” I growled playfully.

“FUCK!” I cried as once again my character was slaughtered by the armored pony known as a “juggernaut”. His large machine gun, faster and stronger than anything I could scavenge from fallen enemies. I found myself unable to fight him one on one as his allies would throw grenades to try and flush me out. Unable to lay into him, all I could do was shoot and hide. Gritting my teeth I sneered at the annoying quotes that came up during the loading screen. Many of them had been made by me.

I very, very rarely swore, both because of my title and because I despised physically or verbally hurting ponies. But these ponies had managed to anger me. Once again I traveled up the skeleton of a equestrian blimp. Hiding at the top I used the cover and higher ground to my advantage firing into my foes below me. Over the past few hours my aim had improved but still more times than not the bullets sprayed harmlessly around my foes.

Throwing my grenades the satisfying screams made me grin maliciously. For these ponies had along with the juggernaut curbed my process for what felt like the hundredth time. Again and again, I had been forced to replay this part of the game and I was at my wit’s end.

“Sister?”

I jumped a little, unaware that my sister had snuck up behind me. “Luna, what are you doing back so early?” I asked, chuckling nervously.

“Sister... it’s six-thirty in the morning. I came looking for you, for you have not done your duties,” she replied. My eyes widening, I glanced over at the clock that rested above her door. True to her words, the clock read half past six, making me groan. So much for sleep... I mentally grimaced.

“Ha–” Luna paused and cleared her throat as she stepped towards me. “Have you been playing all night?” Luna asked, her voice holding no small amount of disbelief. As she trotted over, I nodded, guilty as charged.

“It is incredibly addictive! I believe I have nearly beat the campaign,” I chuckled weakly, gently laying the controller down.

“You’ve nearly beat the– Sister! The sun was meant to have been raised half an hour ago! How could you be so careless?” Luna snapped, snatched the controller away from me before launching it across the room. Thankfully, it landed on her bed and not on the cold, stone floor. “And what about your meetings, hm?”

Ponyfeathers… I had forgotten about those… “You know, I think I will cancel this morning’s meetings. I am too tired to be dealing with petty complaints from my nephew.” I lit my horn and grabbed the controller from Luna’s bed. As soon as I had it in my hooves, I checked it for damages, and thankfully, there were none.

“And what of the sun?” Luna questioned, raising an eyebrow as I turned to face the balcony. With a sharp yank of my head I tore the sun into its correct position in the sky. Had I been paying attention screams of panic and a shrill voice crying the horror would have been heard

“There! All done.” I smiled turning back to the game as Luna sighed.

“Sister, duties, now!” Luna barked, removing the controller from my hooves for a second time. “Tia this is unbecoming of you, you are letting this console turn you into a child.” Luna chitted my ears flattening against the side of my head as I winced.

“You are right Luna I apologies I fear that I let my enjoyment of the game cloud my judgement.” I smiled lightly nuzzling the smaller mare as she giggled.

“It is fine sister now go you have a country to run and I have a date with my bed.” Luna yawned, trotting into the bathroom as I waited for the door to close. A sharp click signaled my chance as I snatched up the console and controller in my magic. Making a hasty retreat, I giggled all the way back to my room with my prize in tow.

“Your majesty Prince Blueblood has requested an audience with you.” Oaken Shield announced the guard saluting as I gave a tired smile. Inwardly though I was groaning. So caught up on getting the wonderful device back to my room that I had completely forgotten about Blue Blood.

“Very well Oaken Shield I will—.” I paused biting my lip. On one hand, I had a responsibility to my ponies. But on the other hand, I now had found something that brought me pleasure.

Sighing, I figured that I should probably go help the nobles with their problems, so that they wouldn't complain.

...Then again, why should I? Had I not put the wants and selfish desires of the ponies over myself enough for the past one thousand years? Was one afternoon alone to play this game really so much to ask? Had I as a ruler not always done what was right for my subjects was it so wrong to have a single day free of responsibility? My little ponies had for too long come to me to solve all there problems big and small. Whilst in many aspects I was a mother figure to them but at the end of the day I was still a mare who wanted a social life as well.

“Oaken Shield I am not to be disturbed today unless it is of the utmost importance cancel all of my meetings and Tell my delightful nephew that I am busy please.” I smiled sweetly trotting into my room before shutting the door. Today for the first time in a millennium I was going to sleep in late and then spend the rest of the day playing trying to beat the juggernaut.

Today was going to be fun.