Luna took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Her gaze wandered the expanses before her, filled with colourful shapes, the air hung with intense fragrances and relaxing tones resonated from unseen entities. A smile crept on her muzzle. It was her realm, where she had the power to make fantasies come true and to vanquish fears. It was so familiar and yet so different.
Three week ago she had been reformed by the elements. Most of the time since then, she had spent confused and filled with remorse, chastising herself for being so stubborn and selfish, convinced that she didn't deserve any of the forgiving kindness her sister had demonstrated. Most importantly, she had lacked the mental stability to perform her most important task.
Today was the day, she would dreamwalk for the first time in a millennium. She took off and started soaring over the vastness of emotions, searching for a good start.
She could only sense the subject of a dream and it's mood, but didn't know whose dream it was or what exactly happened, until she entered it. Most dreams were of common nature, dreams of love, hope or joy. Others told of anger or fear, though those were rare. Eventually a wave of emotions washed around her and she knew that was the dream she'd have to guide.
Luna came closer to the source of grief and guilt, hope and fear, disappointment and love. When she reached it, she saw the subject. It was her. She had an assumption whose dream it was. After a moment of hesitation, Luna decided to join that dream, to confirm it's owner and ease her nightmare. She closed her eyes, and the world began to fade.
When she reopened them, she found herself hovering above the Everfree Forest. Luna landed on a cloud nearby and watched the familiar scene below her, the fight between Nightmare Moon and Celestia one thousand years ago. “Sister, you know that walking your own dream is dangerous, as it can lead to mental ailment” she stated.
Left of her Celestia became visible, her eyes locked on the fight below. “Believe me, it's better than reliving it directly,” she sighed. “Besides, why are you here? Shouldn't you mend the dreams of our ponies?”
Luna stepped closer to her sister. “Seems like I have another – more important – task first. You shouldn't dwell upon the past, we can't change what we did and our sins will always be a part of our history.”
“You may be right, but I should ha—”
“Tormenting yourself won't make me feel better!” Luna's outburst silenced Celestia. They both sat there for a few minutes, the fight raging below them. Finally Luna offered, “if you want to talk about it, we can. On one condition, you need to promise to let go of this dream. Whenever I discover you having it, I'll force a dream of a candlelight dinner with Blueblood upon you.” Three weeks, and she already despised that little piece of noble scum.
“And if I decline your offer?”
“Then I'll mess with you dreams, until you agree.”
Celestia glared at the smaller alicorn. “Alright, you got yourself a deal.”
Luna smirked and the dream around her shifted.
The next moment they sat on the ground in Celestia's old living quarters, watching their younger selves argue.
“Lulu, you are so lucky!” Celestia declared, “you can relax all night long, and I have all the work in the day.”
“At least they recognise your work,” Luna replied, “I'm glad when I get a single request at night court. They hate me.”
“They don't hate you, they sleep, silly.” A smile adorned Celestia's face. “You still got the better job.”
“They sleep because they are tired after worshiping you all day long!” A dark hoof stomped the ground. “All I can do, is to provide them with a restful sleep, just to be ignored the next day. It's not fair.”
“Life's never fair, but you shouldn't blame the ponies. They don't know better.”
“You're right, it's just so frustrating.” Luna sighed and trotted over to the window, watching into the dark blue night sky. “Sister, do you think, I could attend day court? Maybe they wish to see their princess of the night at day. As odd as it sounds.”
“It would be a pleasure, to share my court with you, and a big help,” Celestia replied.
“I remember that idea. It was a really relaxing week, and they did talk to you, didn't they.” Celestia grinned.
“Yes, because you delegated your chores to me, and they had to talk to me, if they wanted their request to be granted,” growled Luna.
“It broke the ice. You got more people at night court.”
“That may be correct, but they didn't come to see me. They were the leftovers, the ones that were turned away on day court, because you cut the duration by 3 hours.” Luna took a deep breath. “Anyway, let's jump towards the next scene.”
When the world reappeared, they stood on a stage in the courtyard of their old castle.
“... and we assure you, Discord is defeated. You won't see him again and most of the damage is fixed. If you come across some remnant chaos, please inform a royal herald. They will travel Equestria over the next four months and make sure everything is back to normal. That's all.” When Celestia's speech came to an end, the mass started to cheer and from the 'Celestia' chants rose a song praising her.
Luna silently turned and trotted back towards the castle, her head low and tears in her eyes.
Celestia swallowed and glanced towards Luna, who starred into space, while a single tear ran down her cheek. “Lulu, are you okay?”
After, what felt like hours, Luna spoke up, “that evening, Nightmare Moon was born. We did the exact same thing; we defeated the same enemy; we did it together; but they only praised you. That moment, I felt my heart becoming cold, my soul dark and my mind numb. Those ponies, in that courtyard, were lucky I had enough self-control. I just wished them all to be dead.”
“Lulu—”
“And you didn't stop them! You could have told them, that I was just as important!” Luna screamed, before looking away. A few minutes passed in silence. “Forgive me, sister, my reaction was inappropriate, especially since I summoned the memory. I thought I would be able to handle it.”
“No need to apologise, you have all reason to be angry. I should have stopped them, but I couldn't, it felt so good and...” Celestia stopped, when she noticed Luna's venomous glare. “I'm sorry.”
Luna's expression softened. “It's okay. We both made mistakes that night, and we both regret them. Now, can you tell me, what we learned from it?”
A confused Celestia offered, “that we should always support one another, and always make sure, the ponies praise both or none of us?”
“No. We learned, that no matter what, we have to talk about it, and find a solution we both are okay with. Ignoring the problem just makes you vulnerable to sinister thoughts.”
“Sounds much better than my suggestion,” Celestia giggled, as the world started to shift again.
This time the throne room came into view.
Luna stood next to her throne. “Not another step!” She stared at Celestia, who stood in the throne room, struck speechless. “Did you really expect me to sit idly by while they all basked in your precious light? There can only be one princess in Equestria!
“And that princess, will be me!” Luna screamed, before rearing up and crushing the stone pulpit. Then a crack split the wall and shattered the crystal window between the thrones, revealing the sun being blocked by the moon.
Luna stopped the scene. “I suppose we don't need to see the rest.”
Celestia shivered, she had prepared for the worst, and now she could relax. “We do not. In fact, my dreams always start right after your transformation. It's the part of the memory, that hurts the most, so I dodge it. Thanks for sparing me that torment.”
Luna put a wing around Celestia. “You're welcome, I doubt I could have endured it myself. Being changed into a creature of terror and death, even on purpose, is anything but pleasant.”
“Tell me, Luna, why did you show me this memory. In the beginning you told me, it's not healthy, and now you bring exactly this moment up.”
“You punish yourself, for failing me, but mostly I failed myself, that's what I realised during my banishment.
“The court was always your strength, why should I try to catch up with you, instead of using my own talents. In the past, I never showed myself in dreams. I fixed the problem and left, without being noticed.
“In the future, I will let the ponies know, that I'm the one helping them, so they can appreciate my work. I will rise from your shadow, make ponies love me and if they don't, I'll try to convince them by being amicable, instead of hiding in my room. And most importantly, I will be myself, no entity has the right to control me.” Luna ended her pledge and smiled at Celestia. “You see, I stopped wallowing in self-pity. Most ponies don't know me or my past, so I have a new chance to build their trust and admiration.”
“I still feel guilty, for sending you to the moon. For not helping you.” Celestia started to cry and Luna pulled her closer.
“I forgave you, as I forgave myself, long ago, but if you really want to punish yourself, I have an idea.” Luna's statement woke Celestia's curiosity, and the world around them began to change another time.
Below them was a grey dust, and in the sky above a big blue ball in a sea of black ink and tiny dots of light.
“This is beautiful, Lulu.” Celestia's mouth hung open in awe, her gaze fixed on the world they lived in.
“This is the view, which I had for a thousand years. If you really want to punish yourself, dream of this, as it was the punishment I endured.” Luna hugged her big sister. “I forgave you, so please forgive yourself... I love you.”
Celestia returned the hug. “I love you, too, Lulu.”
Author's Note
Wrote this 3 years ago, didn't feel the confidence to publish it then. Rediscovered it today, hope you enjoyed it.
