Wedding Night Jitters

by One Terrible Writer

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy
Length: 2505

Celestia x Shining Armor. Oh boy.

It's Shining Armor and Cadence's wedding night, and it's going to be the best night of their lives! That is, unless Celestia has something to say about it.

Shining Armour's love helped the Changeling Queen to defeat Celestia, and powered up Cadence to save the day. In order to become the most powerful pony princess again, Celestia needs Shining Armor's love. All two feet of it…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-21 22:04:01 UTC

Chapter 1

“I can’t believe we’re finally married after all that terrible business!” Cadence nuzzled her new husband lovingly, gazing deep into Shining Armor’s eyes. “Now, we can be happy!” Around them, the party was in full swing, raucous ponies dancing and whooping and yelling, but they only had eyes for each other.

Not every pony was happy that night. Princess Celestia stood brooding at the edge of the party, watching all the cheerful ponies as they danced, her bottom lip curling into a scowl.

“Hi princess!”

Celestia look down at the familiar purple pony who popped into vision in front of her, swaying slightly from too much to drink. “Hello Twilight Sparkle,” she mumbled as she resumed gazing out at the party.

“It’s a great party isn’t it!” Twilight squeaked happily. “And look at Cadence and Shining Armor, aren’t they lovely together! They’re so perfect!”

“Yes, yes they are…” Celestia muttered darkly.

“It’s a good job they saved Canterlot!” Twilight chirped, a wide grin on her face. “With the power of their love! Or we’d all be eaten or dead or worse! I mean, without them to protect us, we’d be toast!”

“Yes Twilight.” Celestia stepped away from her protégé glumly. “Your point?”

Twilight beamed. “Oh I’m just happy for my brother! It’s funny though!” Her face took on a puzzled expression and she put a hoof to her mouth. “It’s just that, I thought you were supposed to be the most powerful unicorn and protector of Equestria, but that Changeling Queen beat you, and then Cadence saved the day. Does that mean she’s in charge now? I mean, isn’t that the job of the princess? Isn't that the whole point?”

“Oh look,” Celestia growled, pointing to the far end of the dance floor where a mass of indistinguishable ponies thronged. “Your mother and father are making out.”

“What? No!” Twilight’s face turned to one of horror, and throwing her hooves over her eyes, she raced for the exit as fast as she could.

Celestia sighed heavily, grinding one hoof into the ground in frustration. It was true. She was the princess of Equestria, she was the one who was supposed to protect the ponies, but once more she had failed in her duties – been humiliated none the less, in front of everypony. The Changeling Queen had defeated her using the power of Shining Armor’s love, and then Shining Armor and Cadence had used their love to dispel the changeling army.

Her eyes narrowed as she watched Shining Armor and Cadence on the dance floor, nuzzling each other closely. Cadence was perfect, too perfect. Every pony loved her, looked up to her, and now they knew that she could protect them better than their ruler. “She’s not even an alicorn!” Celestia hissed under her breath. “If only they knew!”

Cadence’s birth had been a strange one. She was originally a unicorn, and her twin brother was a pegasus. In the womb of their mother though, something terrible had happened. Cadence had absorbed her brother. One foetus absorbing the other was a surprisingly common occurrence, but in Cadence’s case she had kept her brother’s wings, the only tell-tale sign that something was wrong being the purple tinge on their edge, the last remnants of her brother’s coat. When Cadence was born her mother had abandoned her, blaming her for ‘murdering’ her sibling, and so she had found herself adopted by the royal household.

“Did I miss anything sister?”

Celestia gave a low growl as Luna’s head bobbed into view. “You know very well you did, Luna!” she muttered. “Where they hay were you? I looked like a complete idiot!”

“Oh, sorry!” Luna smirked as she looked out across the dancing. “I never get invited to anything, so I thought ‘I bet Celestia doesn’t want me to come, and I’ll get in trouble if I try to get in the way,’ so I let Cadence and Shining Armor’s love save the day.”

“Yes… their love…” Celestia pondered this. Shining Armor’s love gave the Changeling Queen enough power to defeat her. It gave Cadence power to save Canterlot. If she was to become the most powerful princess again, she would need a similar boost of power.

***

“Oh Shining Armor!” Cadence cried again as she danced in the hooves of her love. “I’m so glad you convinced me to marry you!” She leaned forward with a whisper. “The deal’s still on, right? I still get Twilight?”

Shining Armor laughed. “Yes Cadence, you get Twilight. As long as I can watch.” They burst into laughter, looping their forehooves together. “Now dear,” he smiled. “Shall we get on with our wedding night?”

“Oh yes!” Cadence gave a giggle. “I’ve been looking forward to this for so long!”

“Cadence, Shining Armor!” Both turned as Celestia strode across the dance floor towards them, causing ponies to scatter in all directions. “I see you are leaving!”

“O-oh, yes!” Cadence blushed. “We’re just off now Celestia, thanks for the wonderful party you arranged!”

“That’s nice,” Celestia smirked and her face fell into shadow. “I’m glad your wedding went well. I just have two words for you.”

“Oh?” Shining Armor asked innocently. “What’s that?”

“Primae Noctis.”

Cadence’s jaw dropped open. Shining Armor frowned, looking between his bride and the smirking Celestia. “Ah, I didn’t have a classical education…” he stuttered out. “Does that mean ‘congratulations’ by any chance?”

“No.” Celestia’s horn glowed, and Shining Armor found himself floating into the air, his hooves peddling helplessly. “It is the ancient law that means the ruling princess has the right to deflower every new groom on their wedding night.”

Shining Armor’s face fell as his realised his struggles were futile, bowing his head as he hung in the air, looking at the panicked face of Cadence below him. “Well, fuck.”

***

“It’s very simple, Shining Armor!” Celestia stalked across her opulent bedchamber, eyes sultrily fixed on the frightened unicorn chained to her bed. “Your love made both the Changeling Queen and Cadence more powerful. Think of what it will do for me!”

“B-but your majesty!” Shining Armor strained against his chains to no avail, his head following the princess around the room, not letting her out of his sight for one moment. The bed was comfortable yes, and perhaps a few years ago he’d had welcomed such an occasion, but this was just too much. “I don’t love you, princess! I have only eyes for Cadence, my dear darling Cadence!”

“You don’t have to love me!” Celestia snapped back, her wings spreading as she leapt onto the bed, her huge form straddling Shining Armor’s quaking body. “You just have to love me! Give your love to me Shining Armor. All of it! All two feet of it!” She started to lower herself onto Shining Armor, rocking back and forth on his crotch as she gazed down on him with a toothy grin. “Obey your princess!”

Shining Armor threw his head back. “I-I can’t!” he wailed. It was true – despite Celestia’s rough administrations, absolutely nothing was happening. Beads of sweat started to prick at his forehead. “Y-you’ll have to let me go!”

“I think not!” Celestia moved away and scowled at his flaccid shaft with disdain. “If I can raise the sun, I can surely raise you!” She leaned down and licked his length slowly, looking up at him with a gleam in her eye. “Mmm salute your princess, Shining Armor!”

Nothing happened.

Celestia’s horn glowed, and a ripple of magic surrounded Shining Armor’s shaft, yanking it sharply into the air. It fell down again. Celestia stamped her hoof in annoyance, leaping off the bed towards the door. “I thought this might happen!” she scowled, leaving the room.

Shining Armor gave a gasp of relief. Hopefully now Celestia would give up, and he could go back to his true love, the pure princess Cad-

His was broken from his hopeful dreams as Celestia returned, pushing a wheeled platform upon which was fixed…

He gaped. It was Chrysalis the Changeling Queen! The evil creature who had tried to destroy Canterlot was in the room in front of him, her horrifying appearance sending a queasy shiver down his spine. She was a nightmare of a creature – tattered wings, a splintered, wicked horn, and creepily long legs which were covered in holes. She was less of a threat now though – her horn was chained with a steel funnel covering it to restrict her magic, massive manacles were wrapped around her limbs, and her feet were fixed to the platform by a resin which seemed similar to the compound used by the changelings to capture their prey.

“I brought some amusement!” Celestia smiled, looking between the Changeling Queen and Shining Armor. Her two chained companions simply glared back glumly. “Don’t be like that, Chrysalis,” Celestia stroked the changeling’s face, and then slapped a hoof across it. “I am very angry! Very very angry!”

Chrysalis scowled. “I could care less!” she hissed back, baring her fangs.

Celestia slapped the Changeling Queen again. “It’s ‘couldn’t’! ‘Couldn’t care less’, that’s the phase! If you could care less that means you do care! You evil creature! Showing me up in front of all the ponies and abusing grammar!” She sighed, throwing back her mane. “I should have realised something was up when you started singing that song about how evil you were during the wedding!”

“Pah, your bonds won’t hold me!” Chrysalis strained at her chains. “I will break through these chains in no time! And this strange white resin that is trapping my feet is nowhere near as strong as changeling resin!”

“Oh, that’s not resin!” Celestia smiled as a glow of magic danced over her hindquarters, and a massive black shaft shimmered into view. “That was me, while you were unconscious.” Chrysalis trembled, and Celestia stroked the changeling’s hair, rearing up to trace her huge cock over the imprisoned changeling’s legs. “I fucked the holes in your legs. It was hot!” With a thrust, Celestia drove her member forwards through one of the leg holes. Chrysalis cried out in shock.

“What? That’s horrible!” Shining Armor gibbered as he watched Celestia do unspeakable things to the changeling. “Why are you doing that?”

Celestia turned, pausing in mid-thrust, a wild smile on her face. “I thought an erotic display would help you gain an… appreciation for me!”

Shining Armor looked down at his flaccid member, and then at Celestia’s cock buried halfway in the changeling’s leg. “B-but that’s awful!”

“I see how it is…” Celestia withdrew her shaft and grinned at Chrysalis. “Chrysalis. Turn into Cadence and serve me. Do this, and I will spare your ass.”

Chrysalis scowled, but almost as soon as Celestia spoke, her form shimmered, and standing chained to the pedestal was unmistakably the form of Princess Cadence.

“Is that better?” Celestia wheeled the chained ‘Cadence’ over to Shining Armor to help him get a better view, positioning herself at Cadence’s rear. “Now Cadence, tell us all what a horrible pony you are!”

‘Cadence’ glared at Celestia, her brow twitching as if about to retort, but then gave in. “I’m a horrible pony,” she sighed in a droning voice. “A stupid pony princess.”

“Put a bit more life into it dear!” Celestia rolled her hips forwards, her huge magical cock slamming deep into ‘Cadence’. ‘Cadence’ squealed out, eyes rolling back.

“I’ll kill you!” she shrieked, but her calls were cut off as Celestia slapped her flank and started to thrust back and forth. “I mean ah, I’m a dirty pony, a horrible whorse!”

Shining Armor quivered, covering his eyes. He knew it wasn’t the real ‘Cadence’, but the sight of her being reamed by Celestia was… was…

He wasn’t sure.

“That’s right, what a silly little pony you are!” Celestia sped up, grinding deep into ‘Cadence’. “You’re not even a real princess are you?”

“No no, I’m a fake!” ‘Cadence’ moaned out. “I’m actually a gigantic slut who acts in pony pornos, and I kill foals with my unicorn powers and I steal from the elderly and I evade paying the proper rate of tax!”

“Better, better!” Celestia’s strokes became long and slow, and then started to get faster again as ‘Cadence’ rocked her hips back. “Tell Shining Armor what a worthless pony you are!”

“Stop, stop!” Shining Armor tried not to look as Celestia’s cock plunged deep into the changeling disguised as Cadence, but he couldn’t help it. That huge member going so deep, Cadence’s tongue lolling out at each thrust, her hips rocking and swaying with the rhythm. He felt something stir uncontrollably in his loins. “N-no! No!”

“Oooh and I totally slept with all the bridesmaids!” ‘Cadence’ mumbled out, matching Celestia’s thrusts as she started to get into the spirit of things, enjoying the horrified fascination on Shining Armor’s face, Celestia’s member grinding deep inside her body. “I took all the charity money, and I came on the wedding cake, and… and…”

“Yes, yes!” Celestia cried, giving one last deep push inside ‘Cadence’, holding onto her flank for dear life.

“A-and I have pony AIDs!” ‘Cadence’ cried out as Celestia came inside her, a thick white goo spurting out of her behind at high pressure, coating her thighs as the two ponies gasped for breath.

“Well done.” Celestia slapped Cadence’s side as the changeling shimmered back into her normal form. “The ending was a bit off-putting though, you should work on that.” She turned with a smile as she saw Shining Armor, standing to attention in front of her. “Oh, Shining Armor, you enjoyed that little performance did you?”

With a twinkle of magic, the big black cock hanging between her legs vanished, and Celestia stalked onto the bed, positioning herself over Shining Armor.

Shining Armor turned his head away, unable to stop his raging erection, feeling the princess pressing down on it. “N-no, I was saving myself for my true love!” he choked out. “P-please princess, please!”

“Oh Shining Armor!” Celestia slowly pressed herself onto him, savouring the feeling as his shaft slid into her. “But you are with your true love. And when you give me all your love, I will have ultimate power!”

***

“So uh, did you get ultimate power?” Twilight sidled nervously up to Princess Celestia the next morning as she ate her cereal in the royal dining room. Celestia still looked as glum as she did last night, now with added bags under her eyes. “Is that what you got, princess?”

“Oh, I got something all right.” Celestia put down her spoon with a bang and turned to her small pupil. “It seems your brother was saving himself for quite a while. He had a lot of love to give. And he was surprisingly virile.” She scowled. Last night, her magical powers had told her almost instantly what was wrong the moment it happened. It was a bit of a shock, though in hindsight not surprising.

“Congratulations Twilight,” she muttered bitterly. “You’re going to be an auntie.”