The Shining Crystal Theory

by Sabertooth Pie

Rating: mature
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Romance, Princess Luna, Comedy, Tragedy, Queen Chrysalis, Shining Armor
Length: 3651

Shining has been really stressed lately and he visits his local bar to drink it away when he gets caught by his wife who then layer have sex but one special morning little did he know hed recieve a present that would change his life forever.

Shining accsidentaly gets drunk one night and wakes up the next morning with a hungover and finds out he has a baby changeling but can he keep the secret from Cadence.

Published 2016-04-11 23:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-11 23:10:01 UTC

Prologue

It was a late night like a really really really late night but even at this very late hour a specific bar was still open in the Crystal Empire. This bar happen to be the bar Shining Armor was in, that also happened to be his favorite bar ‘The Chrystal Heart’ was the name of the bar quite a unoriginal name if you ask Shinning, who was sitting at a stool drinking away his stress like he did every other night. The bar was neon lit with some rave music playing in the backdrop with some hoofball playing on the tv, it smelled of beer and smoke with beer bottle left all over and ashtrays holding freshly smoked cigarettes. Shining enjoyed this place sometimes it was a getaway from his issues and royal duties always sneaking out late while his beautiful wife slept nice and cozy in bed, while he sat at his favorite bar drinking one of his favorite beers Bud-flight. One of the many beers in the Apple Family cider series, Shining took another sip of his beer when he notice there had been a brown mare who had been staring at him from across the bar. The Mare had green eyes, black mole left of her mouth, tan mane that swirls downward with a light blue streak threw it she was also a earth pony with a cutie mark of honey and a bee, she was wearing a black bow on her head. She gazed at him for what seemed like forever checking him out who knows what she was thinking about.

Then she giggled then resumed her conversation with who Shining assumed were her friends all sitting around their table drinking. Shining just groaned and resumed drinking his beer finishing it with a gulp, Shining Armor order another Bud-flight he craked the beer open using his magic and he spent no time, gazing at it and began guzzing it down. The bartender looked at Shining “woah man you should really slow down there this is some strong shit pal” He said calmly watching Shining continue to down the drink.

Shining slammed the beer down on the bar “fuck that! Toxic give me another one stat!” He groaned again laying his head on the bar. Toxic came back to him with his 10th one putting the beer on the bar in front of him relunctanly and walking away Shining could here Toxic say ‘fucking asshole’ under his breath, Shining ignored his statement grabbing it sipping this one slowly this time. He stoped when he felt eyes on him again and he knew exactly who was staring at him, he turned his head and saw the brown mare staring again Shining looked at his beer getting a little irritated that the mare wouldn’t stop staring. “Hey! Don’t act like I can’t see you staring at me lady stop it it’s getting on my nerves” Shining growled that last part. The mare didn’t stop staring at him instead she actually got up from her table walked over and sat on a stool next to Shining Armor. Shinning looked up at her getting even more enraged she wouldn’t leave him in peace she then put a hoof on his hoof. From this he gave her a glare and removed his hoof from hers “don’t ever try that shit again lady” Shining retorted

She gave a grin “so sweetie what you gonna do to me if I disobey?” Shining didn’t look away from his beer he just kept staring at it as if giving the bottle of achloholic beverage a interrogation. The mare tilted her head to see Shining’s face “so nothing that threat was just all bark and no bite? Whatever” the mare stated. Shining just ignored her statement and ordered another beer, “so do you just sit in bars all day drinking away whatever you drink for? I thought you were some important guard of Celestia’s?” the mare asked. She began to start rubbing his shoulders has she came to his right side “I do love important stallions~” she whispered in his ear.

Shining just gulped down more of his beer looking more drunk then earlier “look what do you want from me advice, help some other fucking thing!?” Shining yelled sluggishly clearly drunk now. He started grumbling things under his breath taking sips of his Bud-Flight and rubbing his head.

The mare noticed this and smiled and decided to take advantage of the situation, “So what would a mare have to do to get some ‘action’ from a stallion like yourself Shining and by a stallion I mean you” the mare stated seductively. She began rubbing his side giving him bedroom eyes.

Shining was in the middle of drinking his beer when she said this resulting in him choking on his beer, “ack...uh ack...what!” Shining choked. He began to unease a bit from the sexual tension she was giving off he slowly slid away to get more distance between him and her.

“Oh you heard me” the mare replied with a smirk.

“What’s...what’s your name anyway?” Shining responded after his choking fit he looked down and saw glass and spilled booze all over the floor he must of knocked it over while he was choking.

“My name is unimportant I have a goal tonight a goal Im gonna reach~” the brown mare put her hoof around Shining and leaned in slowly whispering in his ear softly, “I want your dick tonight~” she said while rubbing his chest.

One of the brown mares friends came over to help Shining get away from her lustful friend that was currently trying to kiss him. The brown mare was trying to kiss Shining has he held her off in front of him “Gah! Get off me woman! Why me!?” at a instant Shining pushed the mare back resulting in his stool to tilt and lead him face first into the floor.

“Because your so gorgeous and you’ve saved us like twice I just wanna return the favor~” She said while pouncing on him while he was in the ground she stared into his and began leaning in for a kiss, untill her friend that came over earlier pulled her off.

Shining took a deep breath “a simple thanks would have been great you know” he said having one hoof pointing at her then drops it.

“Alright that’s enought for tonight girl leave Shining alone stop harassing him” the light mare stated has she lightly pushed her friend away, the brown mare turned and did a ‘call me’ sign. The light mare turned around and reached out a hoof “need some help getting up?”. Shining got a good look at her she was a cream white mare with a nice blue neon mane that got darker the closer it was to her scalp, she also had pretty baby blue eyes, some red lipstick and was wearing a grey hoodie but Shining couldn’t see her cutie mark. Shining took her hoof she pulled him up quickly he instantly started dusting himself off. “Sorry about her Shining she can be straight forward at times also sorry about your beer”.

Shining finished dusting himself “Oh it’s ok mam thanks for helping me I appreciate it” he slurred his word leaning on the bar trying to gain composer.

The Mare smiled “comon ill take you home ok your to drunk to teleport back” she stated pointing at him trying to stand up right. Toxic glares at him shaking his head in disappointment while cleaning off more glasses “hey toxic ill clean this mess up for you”.

“Nah darling my employee got it thanks for the offer tho” Toxic responded

Shining looked up at the mare “whats your name?” he said has he held on to the bar.

The Mare smiled “someone you know I’ll tell you once we get outside ok...now let’s go” she trotted over to Shining grabbed him and started leaving. But toxic then yelled at them about paying there drinks, Shining slowly trotted back to pay for his drink but then stumbled throwing the money all over the bar and hitting his head on the bar collapsing to the floor groaning.

Toxic looked down at Shining “fucking dumbass shoulda just listened to me about the fucking beer you drunk fool” cleaning more glasses “now gather my fucking money and pay me” the light mare just laughed at the whole seen has she trotted to the bar and payed Toxic his money. After Shining gathered his bearings he cleaned up the money and gave it to Toxic who was unamused by Shining’s latest actions. The light mare then left outside with Shining the cool breeze felt good to him that wind flowing threw his mane, the clicking of crickets the bueaty of the night sky.

He looked around the night taking in his surroundings the best a drunk could “ahhh! The night so fucking bueatiful!” he said while taking a few breaths. He looked back at his favorite bar seeing the neon red sign saying ‘The Crystal Heart’ He smiled “I love that bar” he chuckled. He turned to look at the mare “so whats your name?” he said slugglishly “I mean you look familiar but something’s about you seems familiar but not familair? I don’t know what it is?” he struggled trying to put a hoof on where he’s seen this mare.

She giggled at his attempts to pin her she trotted to him slowly putting a hoof around his neck “I’m someone you know very close~” she leaned in while raising her back leg around him “very close~” Shining was taken back and pushed her off.

He rubbed his mane “oh oh oh no no no he’ll no!” he said keeping his distance “look I don’t know if we fucked in advanced school or something and you never got over it but...” she cut him off.

“Oh we definitely did hun bun~” She said trying to get closer to Shining

“Look sorry but I’m married so that’s not gonna happen I’m gonna just go back home and do not follow me!” Shining said while slowly backing up.

The Mare giggled “baby it’s me” she smiled

Shining looked at her confused “what!?” he said while she ran up to him and french kissed him and then she changed into Cadance in mid kiss. Shining opened his eyes pushing her away “what the fuck!....you you your” he stumbled to get his words out.

Cadance smiled “it’s me sugar your wwwwiiifffeeee~” she said hugging him and giving him a nice warm nuzzle Shining was stiff shocked and confused by the turn of events.

He rubbed his head looking at the mare who had transformed into Cadance before his eyes “C...C...Cadance? But how? Why?” Shining asked

Cadance gave him a smirk “how? Well I saw you leaving the castle dear in the middle of the night I just followed you has that light mare, why? Well the fact you were disappearing into the night at such a late hour I was curious to see what you were doing and the rest was just for fun” Cadance said with a smile. But that smile was short lived when it turned into a frown “so this is what you do at night sneak off to bars and drink for what? Has if I wouldn’t notice?” She said expressing her confusion and anger with her hooves while hitting Shining’s chest.

Shining just stood there and decided to apologize “sorry Cadance I’ve just been stressed out lately I was going to tell you really I was it’s just I didn’t want to worry you”. He said sllumply and losing his form trying to stand straight has possible he felt ashamed that his wife had to resort to going undercover has another mare.

Cadance’s expression easied “oh in that case don’t worry about it babe, I was just curious of what you do when you go out at night, you really didn’t think I’d notice did you?”.

Shining squinted at Cadance and awnsered her question with a question “wait hold on a second Cadance how did you change your appearance like that, I thought you said you didn’t know that spell? Also who was that mare?”.

Cadance smirked “oh hub that pony is just a disguse I use sometimes to travel around so I won’t get hoarded also I’ve been practicing in secret so that I could suprise you by looking like Twilight for your birthday!” she said excitedly.

Shining just gave her a confused look “why would you...”.

He was interuppted by Cadance’s awnser to his question “oh come on everybody already knows Shining its ok, I love even with your well you know....tendencies....anyway...besides that I was wondering if maybe we could go home and have some ‘fun’ if you get my drift”. Cadance said has she began rubbing Shining’s chest and purred into his ear and looked up into his eyes adorably. But before Shining could awnser Cadance continued her speech “you know because you haven’t touched me in a while” she giggled.

Shining gave Cadance a wtf look “we had sex like last week!” he said pointing a foot outword at nothing in particular, Cadance responded by rolling her eyes at him. Shining didn’t know why she was calling him all those names earlier she was acting a bit odd but Shining didn’t care he tossed it to the side because he was about to make sweet sweet sweet love to his lovely wife.

It began to get awkward quickly when they just stared at each other but didn’t say anything in till Cadance decided to break the silence. “Well you ready to go home now my knight in Shining Armor see see what I did there hun” Shining just shook his head has has they walked home. “Let’s stop for some ice cream first I’m craving some” they stopped to get some ice cream at the corner store where a crystal pony named Crystal Ice owned the shop.

She waved has the couple walked in “hi you two what can I get the Princess and Prince this night?” she said while smiling at the thinking Princess.

Cadance stood there looking over the menu for 15 minutes going back and forth in what she wanted to eat “that one no no...oooh yes that one! But wait how many calories no never mind”.

Crystal Ice smiled “it’s ok take your time I dont have to close in till another hour” Shining laughed at Crystal’s statement which got a glare from Cadance.

Shining was laying his head on one of the tables in the back of the shop trying to decrease his headache when Cadance called him “hun what should I eat?”

Shining lifted his head up to look at his wife “I don’t give a fuck what you eat Im just ready to go home and get rid of this fucking headache” he groaned slamming his head back down.

Cadance looked at the menu more " come on hun don’t be like that I haven’t had ice cream in ages” she said expressing her hooves of how she feels.

“You also haven’t picked your ice cream in ages” Shining laughed at his own joke

Cadance gasped “rude! You can wait a spare of 15 minutes before we fuck Shining like you said...” she turned and faced Shining “it’s only been a week~”. Crystal Ice blushed at there conversation and cleared her throat getting Cadance’s attention again. “Oh sorry Crystal I’ll have the Berry Burst pls” Crystal nodded and scooped her a cone of the ice cream.

She gave Cadance her ice cream then Cadance paid “have a nice day you two” she waved them goodbye has they left then she went ahead and closed shop.

Has they continued there walk home Cadance nommed on her ice cream in a sexual way “mmmh ahh mmmmm so good~ mmmh” she moaned while eating it making Shining odly more turned on.

He looked at his wife eating her Berry Burst ice cream “uhh hun could you not eat it like that pls” he said rubbing his head blushing.

She stopped eating for a second to respond “oh shut up I know you like it~” she gave a seductive look before finishing her ice cream. They walked up to there castle where Shining walked up to the door and opened it almost falling being completely drunk Cadance went into the downstairs bathroom to clean her face. While shining just went upstairs to there room, where he laid on his back trying to get rid of his aching headache. He looked around the room seeing his pictures of his and Cadance’s family their adventures.

He sighed taking in his room again feeling quite unstressed for once he felt a little free, then Cadance came into the room whereing red lingerie and she had apparently removed her crown and slippers she leaned in the doorway giving Shining a lustful look. “Ready to go for a ride? Baby” Cadance asked has Shining just laid there and slowly nodded has he gazed at her in lingerie.

“Fuck yeah baby give daddy some lovin~” he stated while calling her with his hooves slowly Cadance spent no time and pounced on him smashing her lips into his has she slipped her tounge into Shining’s mouth turning there kiss into a french one has there tounges battled for dominance. Cadance leaned him down on the bed breaking the kiss she kissed him lower and lower but stopped right above his groin. “Heh you teasing me hun?” Shining asked Cadance winked at him
Then began grinding on him, Shining grabbed her haunches “mmmmf~” Cadance looked at her husband blushing has she started to get into it. She bent down to nibble Shining’s ear “Ahh” Shining yelled which resulted in Cadance stopping her grinding worried she hurt her husband somehow.

“What’s wrong Shining I didn’t hurt you did I?” Cadance panicked, “did I bite to hard? Im sorry boo” she said while rubbing his shoulders.

“No dear its just my headache it just hurts...really fucking bad” Shining awnsered groaning in pain rubbing his head more he looked up at his wife “sorry just...gah!” he squeezed Cadance’s haunches out of pain.

Cadance smirked has her horn let up and Cadance leaned in and touched there horns “why didn’t you just say so baby let me get rid of that for you then hubby” after that everything started to go black and fade out.

THE NEXT MORNING

Shining woke up in his bed and was looking up at the ceiling fan he rubbed his head and felt no headache anymore he mustiv blacked out after Cadance’s spell speaking of Cadance she was yelling his name from down the hall. Shining got up and ran out his room toward Cadance’s yelling.

“Shining Armor where are you!” Cadance screamed has Shining intered threw the door.

“Here I am what happened are you hurt?” He asked rubbing his eyes still feeling a bit tired

“Hurt hurt? What the fuck Shining you scared the living he’ll out of me couldn’t find you this morning why the he’ll were you sleeping in the guests room!?” Cadance yelled angrily

“What do you mean you don’t remember? You found me at the Chrystal Heart bar last night, you magically changed into a random mare then we came here had sex? Ring any bells Cadance?” Shining running out of breath from his rant he looked back at the room he came out of it indeed was the guests room, ‘what the fuck!’ Shining thought.

Cadance just stared at him in confusion “what...the fuck! Are you talking about we didn’t have sex I spent all night flying all over canterlot and ponyville looking for you, plus remember I don’t know how to turn into other ponies I don’t even know the spell you must have dreamt of that look I don’t have time for this. Good thing I found you now excuse me but we have some business to attend to so clean yourself up please?” with that Cadance left into their room.

“Huh weird didn’t seem like a dream but then again it would explain why she called me all those names well it was a damn good dream then” Shining went back to the room to clean up when he found a green present box on his stand with a letter attached to it, he grabbed the note and began to read it.

Dear Shining Armor,

By now you’ve probably found this present or you wouldn’t be reading this I just wanted to say I did truly love you and you weren’t just a prize or a trophy to me. I wanted to give you something special to remember our time together and for that I give you something you left behind his name is up to you.

Love, Chrysalis

Shining paused at the last part and stuttered “Chr...Chrysalis why would she leave me a gift better yet why did she say ‘him’?” Shining walked up to the present and picked it up and sat down on the edge of the bed. He was very hesistant to open the gift has thoughts flew threw his mind ‘what is its a trap, what if it’s a bomb or worse, maybe it’s nothing or its some kinda gas that makes you fall in love with Chrysalis’ Shining thought. He gulped and slowly opened the box and looks in it to find “a baby changing! Of my...myself!”

Author's Note

I'm sure some were hoping of a new chapter but I decide to come back and refine this one to a point were im happy I was debating to add the lemon scene but if you guys want it I'll add it in hope you enjoy the new version of this chapter. :twilightsmile: