And Now For Something Completely Different.
Rarity dashed around the top level of Carousel Boutique, she didn’t have long until the train for Baltimare left Ponyville. It was mid-Autumn and Rarity had just secured a contract with a Baltimare firm to produce her new winter range. All Rarity had to do was go to Baltimare to oversee the designs that the firm were producing. There was only one problem with going to Baltimare though; she had nopony to look after Sweetie Belle. Her options had been limited though and she had no choice in the certain being who was going to look after Sweetie Belle, her only option had been Discord.
Earlier that day.
“Oh pleeeeeeeeease Fluttershy.” Rarity begged at Fluttershys’ front door.
“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy coughed quietly and adjusted her dressing gown to retain some warmth, “I’m still too sick, you’ll have to find somepony else.”
Normally Fluttershy would’ve happily taken Sweetie Belle for a few days but the fact that Fluttershy was barely able to stand meant that Rarity had no choice in the matter. Sweetie Belle always enjoyed staying with Fluttershy, but for the next few days it would have to be somepony else
“Don’t worry about it darling, you go back inside and get into bed. You look as though you really need to rest.”
“It’s okay, maybe I can get Discord to help?” Fluttershy offered, “I mean if that’s okay with you?”
Discord was the one person she didn’t want to look after Sweetie Belle, her Cutie Mark Crusading got her in enough trouble without the help of the Lord of Chaos.
“Oh!.. Er thanks but no thanks dear, I’ll ask the girls if they can help out.
So off she went on what was about to be a very eventful trip. As Fluttershy’s cottage was on the verge of the Everfree it wouldn’t be a long walk to Sweet Apple Acres where she’d inquire with Applejack. She was confident Applejack would say yes, given that Applebloom had been insistent on hosting the next sleepover. Rarity followed the line of trees that marked the border of the Everfree, her thoughts occupied with her upcoming designs for the trip to Baltimare. It was at that moment that she spotted a rainbow maned pegasus leaving the forest. Two things were wrong about the pegasus which slightly worried Rarity. Firstly was the fact that Rainbow Dash was walking on the ground, and it was common knowledge that Rainbow Dash flew absolutely everywhere. The second was her company; the pegasus was accompanied by an azure unicorn with a silver mane in an envious manestyle that Rarity wished she could pull off herself.
“Rainbow DaaAAash!” she sang loudly.
Both the ponies froze on the spot as they heard Raritys’ voice, the unicorn which Rarity knew to be Trixie, suddenly vanished in a puff of smoke. Rainbow Dash was about to propel herself into the air but Rarity used her magic to catch her tail. She closed the distance between the now grounded pegasus and herself.
“So that’s why you wanted the cape and hat fixed up?” She asked with a knowing smile on her face.
Rainbow Dashs’ face went the same shade of red as part of her hair. “What? What could you possibly mean! I’m just here walking by myself!” she flustered.
“Well as you’re here... Could you possibly look after Sweetie Belle for a few days?”
“Me? Look after Sweetie Belle?” Rarity detected the quiver in her voice.
“It’ll only be for-”
“I can’t!” Rainbow Dash interrupted, “I mean I’d more than happily look after her but well you see I’ve already plans with a… er… special… somepony. Besides she can hardly stay at my house, being in the clouds an’ all”
“Oh I see.” Rarity tried to not show her disappointment, she didn’t want Discord anywhere near her Sweetie Belle, but she had three more friends to ask.
“Anyway I have to get going, I think I left something important in the forest.” Rainbow Dash backed away slowly.
“Yes, retreat back to your forest to your marefriend.” Rarity teased.
Rarity continued to walk to Sweet Apple Acres, as she walked she thought back to the last time Rarity had been on a date. Looking at Rainbow Dash and Trixie together had got her curious and part of her felt left out, almost jealous but Rarity had no feelings towards Rainbow Dash, or Trixie for that matter. The only way Rarity would have feelings for Trixie would be if someone forced her to have them, like somepony trying to write a short novel based on how two very different ponies would fall in love and would remain in love forever and ever, but love wasn’t like that, it wasn’t all happy go lucky. She was surprised to think that many ponies were unaware that not all love stories had happy endings, perhaps thats’ what she should write about at Twilights next book club. She then began to think back to herself and her current situation.
“My it has been ages, hasn’t it. The last proper date you had was with Prince Blueblood.”
“Urgh why did you make me think of him again.” She said to herself shivering at the mere memory of the stallion.
As Rarity passed the many apple trees of Sweet Apple Acres she could hear loud clangs and bangs from the barn, these noises worried Rarity and she galloped to the barn. As the noise increased Rarity prepared herself for what she might find, she had a feeling it was nothing but thought better to assume the worst and help out a friend in need. With her magic she flung the barn doors open. Inside she found Big Mac, Granny Smith and Applejack all trying to gather a large group of foals that were running around.
“Shut the door! It took me long enough to ‘em all in here!” Applejack shouted as a foal tried to make for freedom.
Then it hit Rarity as she looked at the countless foals running around the barn.
“Oh not this again!” she whined.
“Big Mac I don’t know how you keep getting all these foals but Ah wish you’d stop!” Applejack shouted over.
Rarity walked over to Applejack who was rounding up another small group of foals.
“Applejack I have a feeling I already know the answer, but I don’t suppose you’d be able to look after Sweetie Belle for a few days?”
“Eenope!” Big Mac called from the other side of the barn.
“Ah’m sorry sugarcube but Ah need to help Big Mac with this again.”
Defeated once more Rarity decided to make her way to the large castle in the centre of Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle had moved into the castle straight after the ordeal with Tirek, mainly because she had nowhere else to live and the castle was the only viable option. As she reached the front gate two Royal Guards came to meet her.
“Miss Rarity, may I suggest you return later, Princess Twilight is very busy with some sort of spell. She has asked to not be disturbed.”
“Flash dear, Twilight always has time for her friends, besides I only want to have a word with her.”
“Well if you can get her to take a break for spell casting, that’ll sure be a relief for us.” Flash replied smiling to the other guard.
They let her pass and walked up the crystal stairs to the top room where she knew Twilight was practising a spell. Twilight was standing alone in a room and casting a spell on some sort of book. Part of Rarity hoped it wasn’t another book like the one Spike had given her not long ago. Rarity tapped her hooves on the door to alert Twilight of her presence. Twilight stopped her spell and the book dropped to the floor, she looked around before finally looking towards Rarity.
“Oh hi Rarity, C’mon in. I’ll be done in a second.”
With that Twilight turned to face the book and then cast another spell. The book levitated into the air and then dropped back down again, nothing appeared to have happened. Twilight sighed heavily.
“I told Spike to write a diary but he’s put some kind of lock on it that just won’t break.” Twilight flung the book against a wall with her magic.
“Why is reading Spikes’ diary so important?” Rarity asked.
“It… it doesn’t matter So Rarity how can I help you?” Twilight pulled a tired smile.
“How long had she been working?”
“Well darling, I was actually wondering if you could look after Sweetie Belle for a few days?”
“I’m sorry Rarity but after that incident with splitting Rainbow Dash into six I really need to work on my spell casting. We can’t have another incident like that or even worse a Pinkie Pie invasion again.”
“Oh, well no matter. I’m sure Pinkie Pie would be more than happy to help.”
“Well I’m down to one friend now, I really hope Pinkie can help me out.”
***
“What do you mean you’re going with Cheese to camp outside a hardware store?!” Rarity couldn’t believe her luck, all her friends were busy.
“Well Cheese said it was opening tomorrow and he wanted to camp outside it so we’d be the first ponies in and I thought that it would be super fun, so we could share a tent, play charades and monopoly and-” Pinkie leaned in close and reduced to a whisper, “Twilights’ Secret Ship-fic.”
“Yes but couldn’t Sweetie come with you?” Rarity pleaded.
“I only have a two pony tent I’m afraid, and Cheese is travelling all the way from Dodge Junction to see me.”
“Well it looks like I have no choice now.”
14 hours later.
Rarity sat on one end of the couch as Fluttershy prepared tea in the kitchen. While Rarity was waiting she’d noticed that Fluttershy had rearranged some furniture and a small picture caught her eye. She’d never seen the photo before but it was of a younger Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash and it looked like it had been taken-
“That’s us a flight camp.” Fluttershy said from behind her. “I’m sorry did I frighten you?”
“Not at all dear, in fact I have something to ask from you. I’d like to know if Discord can foalsit Sweetie Belle?”
There was a large pop in the middle of the room and just like that, Discord appeared.
“Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” thought Rarity.
“Of course I’ll look after Taco Bell-”
“Sweetie Belle” Rarity corrected.
“Sweetie Belle whatever. Let me guess? Bed by two in the morning and she can have all the ice cream she wants?”
“Certainly not!” Rarity shrieked.
Discord sighed. “Fine, bed by six o’clock and enrol her into the Central Equestria University?”
“Discord Sweetie Belle is far too young to go to University.”
“Soooo no sunlight, don’t get her wet and don’t feed her after midnight?”
Rarity facehooved, “Discord it’s you I’m worried about.”
“Me? What have I ever done to cause you to be worried, it’s not like I’ve crashed two airships together or caused all your daughters to be the Elements of Disharmony?”
“Discord this isn’t funny. Just look after her and please don’t destroy anything in my house.”
“Fine, but I have a price!” He declared.
Rarity raised an eyebrow.
“You must invite me out on a date.”
“A DATE!”
“Yes and not the edible kind. They don’t agree with me.”
Rarity had to think about this, could she really go out on a date with the Lord of chaos? A being capable of bending the very fabric of reality merely to enjoy himself. Rarity looked up to the clock, she only had a few hours.
“Fine, I accept.”
14 Hours later.
“A date, he wants a date with moi.” Rarity was now at Ponyville station loading the last of her line into the rear-most carriage. “Is he? No I refuse to believe it, Discord can’t be in love with me it would be so…. uncouth. Can I really go out on a date with him, I mean he has tried to take over Equestria several times and worst of all he made me fall in love with a rock.” Rarity pushed the thoughts aside as she settled down for the overnight trip to Baltimare, “Discord couldn’t love me, but on one hoof he certainly has changed because of Fluttershy. Fine! I will give him a chance, but that’s it.”
She considered all her thoughts as the train thundered off into the night, she knew one thing for certain and that was she would atleast give him a chance. At the very least she could use it for practice should she go back into the dating circles again.
Meanwhile at Carousel Boutique...
“So tell me Sweetie Belle, what does your sister like?” Sweetie Belle looked up from her book as she lay on the floor.
“What my sister likes? What do you mean?”
“Well when a stallion takes her out on,” He tapped his chin, “let’s call it a date.”
“YOU WANT TO DATE RARITY?” She squeaked at an ear-splitting crescendo.
“Well I’ll humour you and say yes.” Discord replied.
Sweetie Belle leapt up from the floor at a speed that would give Rainbow Dash a run for her money.
“Oh wow you and Rarity? I thought you two were just friends?”
“Sweetie dear, friendship is witchcraft and you shouldn't listen to Twilight Sparkle, for all you know she could also be an evil sorceress, whose father wished to take over Equestria.”
“I've met Night Light, he wouldn't hurt a fly. Hey wait a minute!” Sweetie interrupted herself as she brought her hoof up and stroked her chin, “How long have you had feelings for Rarity?”
“Well do you want the mentally advanced version or the ultra fast one?”
“Ummm the ultra fast one.”
“Well Sweetie, love is a certain kind of magic, sometimes it just happens between two ponies and sometimes its forced on you by someone else.”
“You mean like Princess Cadence?”
“Er yes, something like that…” Discord replied his eyes rapidly darting from side to side.
“Well Rarity likes expensive things; gems, clothes, shampoo and stuff like that. You’ll want to take her to an expensive restaurant like Canterlot.”
“Canterlot?”
"Canterlot!" Sweetie confirmed.
Discord thought back to the last time he’d gone to Canterlot, it hadn't been long ago. Despite being a former villain, Celestia had invited him to attend a party. It would've been good had everypony not been singing and no one liked it when Discord replaced all the food for ham, jam and spam. He’d also upset the midwife in the castle after accusing of just pushing a pram alot.
“On second thoughts let’s not go there ‘tis a silly place.”
“So where are you going to take her?”
Discord grinned, “I have somewhere in mind.”
A few days later… and probably a few nights too, otherwise it would just be one day.
Rarity was exhausted when she returned a few days later, she returned to find her home still in one piece. She thanked Celestia and proceeded to get ready for her ‘date’ with Discord later that evening. She’d begun to warm up to the idea and felt that if she could handle Discord then she could handle anypony after that. Fourteen hours later and Discord appeared at her door wearing a black suit and held some form of cane which had the distinct appearance of Twilight Sparkles’ head.
“Umm darling, you aren't taking that… cane with you?”
“Certainly not dear Rarity.” He said in a Buckingham accent, “One would not dare take such a monstrosity on a date with a fine mare such as yourself.”
Rarity blushed deeply, “Well where are we going? I don’t want to be under or over-dressed.”
“That is a surprise for madam, but a simple dress will be required.” Discord replied curtly.
A few minutes later and Rarity had attired herself in the same dress she’d worn to court Prince Blueblood. She looked to Discord awaiting him to lead the way but all he did was a simple snap of his fingers. As a unicorn Rarity knew of the concept of teleporting and had attempted to perform it some years ago, but it was odd to have someone else do it and especially over a long distance. They were now standing outside one of the most fanciest restaurants in Manehatten. They entered into the building and Discord called a zebra waiter over.
“A table for two under the name of Q.”
The zebra nodded in reply and led the pair to a table in the centre of the room. They remained in silence until the waiter took their drink and starter orders.
“So Mi’lady, how did ones’ business fair during ones’ travels.”
“Discord please speak normally, but yes it did go well I have my contract order for over winter and some of my new designs should be out soon. So Discord, I do hate to be so rude, but would you kindly tell me why you want a date?”
“Well why else? You’re a beautiful mare and I can see why any stallion would wish to court you. You presented an opportunity for me to guarantee a date with you and I took it. But more importantly, why did you accept?”
“Acc… accept, I don’t understand.”
“You could’ve refused.” he explained.
“It would be rude to have done so, and I desperately needed somepony to look after Sweetie Belle.”
The waiter brought the food and two began to ear, Rarity realised then that she hadn’t eaten in what had felt like an abnormally long day. She started off eating normally but before long she wolfed down the remaining portion which earned her a few quirky looks from the other patrons. Discord merely smiled and returned to eating what looked like paper. Once she had finished she sat back in her chair and a different waiter took away the dirty crockery.
“Would Madam, care for an after dinner mint?” The Prench waiter offered.
“No thank you, I am quite sure.”
“Are you? after all it's only wafair thin.”
“No thank you.” Rarity insisted.
There was a few moments of silence as Discord ate his food. Despite the fact she was technically on a date, it had been surprisingly uneventful.
“So you only agreed to this date out of desperation?” Discords’ tone seemed to be taking a negative tone, a hint of anger seemed to be creeping through.
“Well yes, originally. You didn't think this was an actual date did you?”
“So you don’t love me?” Discord pressed
“What! Most certainly not.” she replied taken aback at the sudden question.
Time seemed to stop in that moment, Discord was staring straight at her.
“Why?” He asked in a calm manner, but this was just the calm before the storm.
“Because Darling I haven’t had a chance to get to know you so how I can I have feelings towards you if the last time we met you were working with Tirek?”
“So you’d rather be here with somepony else? Am I not good enough?” He snapped his fingers and an earth pony with an hourglass cutie mark appeared. “I suppose you’d rather be here with Time Turner instead?”
“At this moment yes! Discord you are acting quite out of sorts and attracting so much unwanted attention, please calm down.”
“What are you going to do Rarity inform the Strategic Centre for Aid and Law Enforcement?”
“The who-?”
“You know I did have feelings for you, I always have. You’re one of the most stylish mares in Equestria, how could I not love you? But if you only agreed to come here out of pity then we might as well go home, and maybe I’ll consider this practice for somepony else.
Rarity threw her wine at Discord.
“Take me home now!” She demanded, she wasn't going to let slip that this was her reason for coming on the date. She wasn’t going to let Discord have that victory.
It was over in a flash, she was home and all she wanted to do was cry her eyes out. To say the date had gone badly was an understatement, but she didn't love him, so why was she crying about it. Was it the things he’d said? But it occurred to her that it may be something deeper than that. Maybe she did have feelings for him. There was a knock at the door and Rarity wiped her tears away.
She answered the door to be greeted by the one thing she didn't want to see; Discord.
“Rarity I’m sorry.” He began.
“Give me one good reason why I should slam this door in your face?”
“What door?” Discord snapped his fingers.
The door stood up as legs formed underneath it, it then turned to Rarity, grabbed a briefcase with its arms that just appeared. It then adorned a fedora, tipped it and left.
“Discord, return my door at once!”
“Please hear me out, then I’ll return your door.”
“Fine!”
“Rarity, the truth is I do have feelings for you and it’s been one thousand years me since I had even considered going on a date. I don’t know what love really is, but I know I have it for you.”
“That doesn't excuse your behavior.”
“I’m sorry for my behavior, I was trying to act like a gentlecolt like your sister said you liked. It’s just been so long since somepony showed feelings towards me… I just… I just didn't know how to react when you said you didn't come here out of your own free will. Let me make it up to you, I promise it’ll be miles better than tonight.”
Rarity thought about it for a second. There was only one way to find out if she had feelings for Discord.
“One chance, that’s it!”
Discord picked her up in his arms and kissed her on the lips, it was an odd sensation, one which words couldn't describe.
“Discord then placed her back on the ground, I’m sorry… I’m just… sorry.” He blushed at his behaviour and snapped his fingers once more. The door returned.
Rarity stood at the doorway for some time after Discord left. She was flabbergasted at Discords actions, but the most important fact was that when Discord kissed her, she enjoyed it.
“This could be. The. Best. Possible. Thing!”
Author's Note
Well you're still here, which is good.
If you didn't catch any of my references I'll be posting up a blog post in the next few weeks, for those that didn't get them.
Anyway Crowscrowcrow as you may have guessed you are shipping Rarity x Time Turner.
