Chapter 2: I only had one ice pun.

StasisChapter 2: I only had one ice pun. New and improved 'Chapter of the Year' edition!By: The Maniacal Muffin

"Wow, Dashie was really trying to put the moves on you." Pinkie states, genuine surprise on her face from her friend's actions.

"I know! It was so embarrassing!" I exclaim as I bang my hooves against the counter, my muzzle joining them in frustration.

"I think it's kinda sweet what she was doing." She adds in a soothing tone.

"Oh, that was only the beginning!" I say, anger for the pegasus surfacing as I throw my hooves up for effect.

"Surely it wasn't that bad." Pinkie says trying to cheer me up.

"Don't try me." I mutter into the counter as my dramatics called for an intimate moment with the mahogany.

"Well, you haven't explained why everypony is chasing you yet." She states, trying to get me back on track.

"I'm getting to it." I say as I continue to mutter into the table for effect.

I sit like that for a moment, Pinkie just moves a muffin towards me. "Thank you" I mutter as I sit myself up, clean myself up a bit and take a bite of my new muffin, continuing my story.

Leaving the boundaries of the park with my new cargo I attempt a gallop, now noticing the manic stares me and Rainbow seem to be getting from the majority of mares that see us.

The gallop lasts all but 4 seconds, as every step crushes my spine and Rainbow decides to share how satisfying she finds it.

"Why - do - you have to be - so damn - inappropriate?" I pant back to Rainbow as I slow down to a canter and try to get oxygen into my unfit body; I groan in pain as the pony on my back menages to kick me as she tries to get comfortable again.

"What would be 'appropriate' then?" Rainbow asks in reply.

"Letting go of my neck, keeping your wings to yourself, maybe even getting off and stop faking." I think, in attempt to calm myself. "Being a bit quieter." I answer in a cold tone, deciding to hold back my tongue.

"Is this better?" she whispers into my ear, causing me to shiver as she menages to invade my personal space even more.

"How could this get any-" I begin before I cut myself off. "No, not tempting fate today." I think aloud. Divine intervention is the last thing I need.

Walking though the large doors of Twilight's castle I notice that, unsurprisingly, the hall is deserted. My hoof-steps echoing through the palace being the only sign of life in the yet to be staffed building.

"The pink one leads to me, the orange one leads to the library." A unmistakable feminine voice announces in my head as a turquoise circle appears under me in the crystal, pink and yellow lines coming off of it.

"I wish she just got staff from Canterlot Castle rather than this 'only if ponies want to' horsefluff" Rainbow whispers into my ear, either as yet another 'move' or as if the alicorn in question where near.

"Are you sure you don't want to walk the fifty meters to Twilight or a bed?" I ask rainbow without turning my head, since the last time I did that she decided it was appropriate to kiss me, making all the staring angry mares look more like murderous psychopaths.

Magic was definitely to blame; I doubt assaulting a princess' most loyal friend/savior of Equestria is ever a good idea. Thankfully nopony had attacked us yet.

"Oh, I plan to go to a bed. It's just that you aren't leaving me there." She whispers into my ear again as I roll my eyes and begin following the pink line to Twilight for some help. The constant advances and innuendos getting smaller and smaller reactions from me as they seem to never end, and since recently I have been more worried about being attacked by enraged single mares.

"I hope you can help Twilight." I say to myself as I continue along the pink path ahead of me.

"It would be fun if you did." Rainbow adds to my statement in a sultry tone.

"You really are horrible like this." I say to Rainbow for the umpteenth time.

"I know, I'm a bad mare that needs to be punished." She says continuing her sultry tone and moving to nibble on my ear, me jerking my head away from her, expecting the action having learnt her movements.

"You are impossible!" I yell at Rainbow, channeling my inner Rarity as she continues to try to reach one of my ears without loosening her grip on me.

"Oh thank Celestia!" I exclaim as I reach the door that the pink line passes into, Rainbow stopping her assault on my ears and instead opting to hold onto me with all her strength.

I do really feel horrible for shutting down all of her advances. Even if they are not her choice, she will still remember this. I hope she will be able to forgive me after this all blows over.

As if the universe was plotting against me I begin to hear sobbing from the mare on my back.

"Ponyfeathers." I swear under my breath as a gigantic wave of guilt hits me. Now I could just die.

"Please don't leave..." Rainbow says in a low and wavering voice between sobs. If I could die from being a horrible pony, I'd have just died.

"Rainbow, listen to me." I say in my best stern yet calming voice, snapping her out of her downward spiral if only for a moment.

"I will never leave you guys, you are all the closest thing I have had to actual family and I love you all." I continue, now having her complete attention. "Rainbow." I say, now looking directly back at her. "You are a wonderful mare, loyal to the end and one of the greatest ponies I have ever met. You boast that you are the fastest flier in Equestria because it is true. You have a keen eye for detail and you craft the weather like no other. Now, I am going to have to leave you here, but I promise with all my heart, a Pinkie Promise like no other, that I will return. But before then I will try to lift this enchantment or curse put upon me, because this is not the real you. This is the you that is being manipulated by some sort of magic put upon me. But, that said I would like us to sort out our feelings once this is over, something I feel I'll need to do a fair bit after this but something necessary. Would you like that?" I ask, finishing up one of the best motivational speeches I'll ever do. Hopefully now I only spend one eternity in hell rather than multiple.

"That was beautiful." I hear from the doorway in front of me. I turn to see a wet eyed Princess Twilight wiping a tear away from her face.

"Thank you." I reply with a smile on my face, a genuine smile filled with pride in my successful speech.

"Come in, please." Twilight says as she opens the door for us and motioning to some couches in the corner of what I assume is a study.

I lay on the floor in front of the largest couch to allow Rainbow off, she tightens her grip on me as I sit, but lets go and stands after I give her a reassuring smile. She moves onto the couch and sits down with a melancholy sigh, hanging her head. Noticing this and feeling a bit bad for how I handled the past half hour I decide to sit close to her, letting her lean into me.

"Why?" She asks me in a low voice, punctuating the question with a sniffle.

"Because, even though this is you under some spell, it is still you. I might as well begin making it up to you now." I say to her in a calm and soothing tone.

"You never cease to amaze me Stasis" Princess Twilight says to me with thankfulness in her eyes.

"I try." I say as I wrap a foreleg around Rainbow since she started shivering, most likely due to whatever battlefield her mind has become given the effects of whatever magic and the internal revelations she must be learning due to the strange situation.

"How much did you hear?" I ask as Rainbow rests her head on my shoulder and her shivering stops.

"From when you said her name." She says in reply, an air of formality entering the room as she cleans her face and composes herself.

"You know the gist of the situation then?" I ask, now having to lean back into Rainbow so as to not fall over.

"Yes, I would like to scan you for any abnormal magical signature." She asks, with her usual calm smile on her face.

"That's fine, but first; why are you not effected?" I ask, the pony in question showing none of the signs I have been noticing.

"I do not know exactly, most likely it is my natural magic resistance as an alicorn." She replies, looking satisfied with her answer.

Only a moment later, I begin to feel the familiar tingle of magic moving over me as Twilight tries to find the source of all this drama; Twilight's face scrunching up before the sensation leaves me.

"It's not what I expected." She begins in a disappointed tone. "It seems like there is something foreign inside of you creating some variation of the 'want it, need it' spell. The actual magical signature of the object filling your bloodstream and applying itself to you, turning you into a walking incarnation of the spell." Twilight explains with a frown on her face.

"In Equestrian please?" Rainbow asks with a look of confusion on her face.

"Basically, I'm just too cool for Twilight to understand." I whisper in Rainbow's ear in an attempt to cheer her up, which proves successful if her chuckle is any indication.

"May I?" I ask Twilight as she begins to unpack some charts.

"Uhh, shure?" She says unsure with what I am doing.

"Basically, there is something inside of me with magic in it making it attractive, that magic is being absorbed into my body and giving me the effects of the spell also." I explain in a single sentence, earning a glare from Twilight.

"Making you more attractive?" Rainbow asks for conformation that she is understanding the concept properly.

"Exactly." I say as I rub her shoulder. Her just smiling in response.

"What can be done about it?" She asks Twilight with concern in her voice.

"Not much which I am willing to risk. The only option I could think of is suppressing the magic of the object inside Stasis. This will make his magic unstable though. An unstable version of his magic is something we both wouldn't want to risk." She says looking towards the floor at the last part, me following her actions. "I'll have to contact Celestia on this situation. Sorry." She adds apologetically.

"You did what you could." Rainbow says reassuring her friend.

"Thanks, I'll be back in a moment. I'm going to send a message to the Princess." She says before turning and leaving the room, Leaving me and Rainbow alone.

I take my foreleg off of Rainbow and then proceed to lie on the couch, waiting for the princess' return. Rainbow follows suit, moving close to me once again and leaning into me slightly.

"Awww! So cute and considerate and loving and gentlecoltly of you to do Stacy!" Pinky exclaims to me, staring in awe at nothing in particular.

"That's not how I would have put it, and please stop calling me that."  I say, practically begging for her to not use that nickname.

"You know you love it." She says in reply, me pinching the bridge of my snout and shaking my head in response.

"You'll be the death of me, Pinkie." I say through a chuckle as I look at her and continue to shake my head.

"Well, uhh... I still don't know why everypony is chasing you." Pinkie replies, looking a bit taken back by my dark humor.

"I'm getting to it! Jeez!" I say, doing my best impression of a bratty teenager; leaning back in my stool and rolling my eyes for effect. Pinkie just giggling loudly in reply.

Satisfied with the recovery of the mood I continue my story.