Chapters Drawn With the Night Into the Day
Drawn With the Night Into the Day
by Dan's Comments
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Fancy Thunder had been playing with her daughter. Actually, she'd been watching her daughter carefully and quietly bury Klein Bottle, her employer, in leaves. He was going over Fancy's designs, and was oblivious to his impending 'doom'. Then Fancy caught his glance and smile towards Dipper as she crept off to collect more leaves. Fancy felt a warmth towards this strange, nearly hairless, bipedal creature that she'd never felt for her own family, especially not her father who'd basically sent her off into exile, for wanting to raise her own foal.
But on the cusp of losing all hope, something delivered me to him, she thought as she watched Dipper deliver another load of leaves, and race away. He'd glance at the foal, then concentrate on the papers he was studying.
It did bother her how private Klein was. She knew more about the griffon king than she did about someone she worked with so much and so closely. Except the nightmares, she thought, Like the one he had after coming back from the toy fair. What could have happened that would have affected him like that?
She heard the squawk of alarm from Dipper, and tried to look deeply concerned that her quarry had vanished. As Klein hid in the tree above, she and Dipper searched the pile of leaves for the hole he'd dug to get away from her nefarious plan. Only after a bit of searching did she look up, and fall back on her haunches with a squawk of surprise at her quarry in a tree looking down on all the searching.
The appearance of a scroll materializing in their midst brought some consternation to the adults.
"I thought you needed a dragon to do that," he said as he slipped down out of the tree.
"It's a commission," Fancy said, collecting Dipper and noting him getting closer. Then her blood ran cold, even his hand on her shoulder couldn't warm it away. "From Discord."
"I never even wrote that letter," he said under his breath.
" 'As part of my nefarious plot to raise money for selected Equestrian Charities, see attachment one for complete list and contact information,'" Fancy said, then looked at the pages attached to the back of the scroll. " 'I would like to contract one Fancy Thunder to design, and oversee production of the collectible, commemorative figurines of all four Princesses. In solid material, in action poses. Details to be discussed with said Princesses in Canterlot. For your snoopy boss, who is probably reading this over your shoulder.'" She turned and looked at Klein. She grinned, but he was staring at the page. "Acceptance or refusal of this commission are not Darwin or Newbery Award moments.' What is that?"
"It means nothing bad will happen to you or Dipper," he said, nearly biting the words off. Such ferocity should have frightened her. Instead, she leaned back against him and she felt him relax slightly.
She nodded. " 'That your excellence in design, and the skilled metalsmiths, molders and finishers of your firm have brought you this commission. And your ability to meet deadlines you set. Rooms for you and a small staff have been arranged in the castle.' "
" 'Signed, Discord.'" She unrolled further. " 'P.S. Please!'". Little animated figures of a pleading Discord on his knees alongside the word 'please' in a dozen different fonts in the different colors. "Well?"
"Well what?" he said, "It's not exactly what you wanted, but if you want your return to be memorable, that will do it."
She glanced down, and all the figures of Discord were nodding. Dipper looked over at the page and waved to the figure, who obligingly waved back, then started playing peekaboo with the foal. She raised an eyebrow at that, but looked closely at Klein. "Should I take it?"
"Okay, to be perfectly clear, of course you should take it. From what I'm reading between the lines, Discord is betting we can get the measurements and drawings, get the proofs approved and get the production run complete and in their hands before some deadline they haven't mentioned that the Equestrians can't meet."
The Discord figures nodded, then went back to playing peekaboo with Dipper. Fancy looked at the figures, then at Klein and shrugged. "I guess the two of us are heading for Canterlot. I wonder what the climate is right now, and I don't mean the weather."
The airship ride had been fast, she suspected that the airship had some help. She looked over the small team she'd brought, one of the minotaur sculptors, a diamond dog mold maker, and a one-winged pegasus as a go-fer. She hadn't asked the young mare how she's lost her wing, or if she'd even been born without it, Shadow Lightning seemed to take after Klein in that respect. But the mare seemed eager to do whatever she had to both to please her bosses, and to get the job done.
She was amazed that the welcoming committee consisted of Discord, a butter-yellow pegasus with a pink mane, and one royal guard. No Princesses, and definitely none of her family. Their loss, she thought as she carried Dipper along down the gangplank. As soon as she got in range, she handed Dipper to Discord, along with the diaper & equipment bag. "See there's the real one and you get to spend time with him."
Fancy wasn't sure who was more shocked, the pegasus or Discord. She was just employing the trick Klein did, steamroller them, then make them want to follow along. Discord had taken the items reflexively. Dipper did her part by hugging the draconequus and going to maximum cute mode. From her little saddle bags, she pulled the letter and showed it to him.
"That's her favorite," Fancy said, "And I know you can show her all kinds of things. How clouds grow, and flowers, and if her diaper gets dirty, there's wipes and clean ones in the saddlebags. And don't you want to get back at all the pigeons for what they did to your statue?"
"But I," Discord began and looked down into that worshipful expression. Discord's brain made an amusing series of noises, which delighted Dipper.
"It's just for a little while, and she was so looking forward to meeting you in person," Fancy said, "And Discord." She gave him her own cute look, showing the apple hadn't fallen far from the tree. "I trust you." She vaguely wondered if there were certain words that worked on all adult males. Because Discord reacted exactly as Klein always had. He got a serious mein, checked the completeness of the supplies and set off.
The yellow pegasus, Fancy remembered was called Fluttershy, nodded, grinning ear-to-ear, then she followed him.
"You're one crazy," the diamond dog, Buzz, said.
"I handle Klein the same way," Fancy said. The others nodded in agreement as she waved a hoof in front of the stunned guard. "Fancy Thunder, party of four with child."
"Oh, ah yes, right this way," the guard said and kept glancing sideways at her.
The palace was what she remembered. Although she hadn't remembered the night guards. She'd been on the outs with her family at the time of Luna's return, so visits to the palace had fallen off considerably. She got everyone situated and checking out the baggage they'd brought before she was summoned to 'Their' Highnesses. She took her sketch pad and notebook, she wanted to get the exact details of the commission. She might trust Discord to look after Dipper, but she wanted someone less random to give her the details of the problem. She smirked and summoned a small sphere that let her look in on Discord and Dipper. They were sitting on a cloud and Discord was showing her how clouds worked. Even the pegasus was listening with rapt attention. That taken care of, she took on the visage of a cool, collected businesswoman dealing with high-ranking clients. Rather than a pony who'd fawn all over them and then fail to deliver what they were supposed to.
It was easier promised than accomplished when she encountered them face-to-face. She bowed. Since she'd been disowned, she was a commoner, and she too had studied what was required.
"Please don't!" Princess Celestia said. She sounded almost frightened.
What did Klein do? He didn't do that whole stupid thing that . . . of course he did, she thought, Well, I guess a little fun at what they did to me with the Royal Commission couldn't hurt.
"Oh course not," she said as she stood, but kept her head down, "I'm still an Equestrian citizen, there's no need to make a point over remembering protocols." She hid her smile at the nervous hoof shuffling. "I'm sure he was absolutely proper and correct." She gave them her best nervous grin, and found it unwillingly mirrored on all four princesses.
"We are changing those laws," Princess Luna said as if each word were a feather plucked from her wings.
"Well, that's nice," Fancy said, "I'd also like to thank all of you for participating in Discord's commission. It must mean a great deal to him."
The simultaneous 'hit in the face with a plank' look told her she'd scored a huge point.
"Discord?" Princess Sparkle said, "His commission?"
"He was the one who contacted me and requested the firm I work for handle the casting. Now I assume that since it is for the Equestrian Charities, that you can tell me size, metal composition, how large a run, how fine the work needs to be? I mean does each feather and curl need to be picked out, or is a smoother mass appropriate, and how realistic or abstract is the sculpture to be?"
The stunned expression on all the faces told her that she was talking to the wrong ponies. The last figurine of Celestia alone had been fifty years earlier, and her research hadn't determined what it was made of.
"Yes," she said, "I take it this was not discussed with you. Then exactly why are all of us here together?"
She waited for the four of them to put their heads together and begin discussing. From what little she overheard, they had taken Discord's promise to 'fix the problem' with a huge grain of salt. She took out her sketchpad. The four concerned princesses might make a good subject for the sculpture. It did show them cooperating. They should know that if someone is going to be truly unpredictable, they occasionally have to play one thing completely straight, she thought, Otherwise everyone knows when they promise the moon they don't mean it, or will never deliver.
She concentrated on points of articulation, and considered if dolls of them might also be saleable. Yes I can see that, little fillies playing tea party with the princesses, or have them off fighting Sombra. Who knows? she thought as she sketched. She envied the ponies who could capture life in their drawings, hers only taught you how it was put together, how the 'machine' worked. As the princesses discussed, she took a moment to check up on Dipper. Her baby had utterly charmed Discord, and was using her horn to try to make a cloud rain. The rain she managed was dark brown, and the cloud itself was pink. Fancy started to dispel the image when she suddenly realized the little bijou had captured all four princesses' complete and undivided attention. They fell under Dipper's spell as thoroughly as Discord and Fluttershy had, and gasped with delight as Dipper made her cloud rain into a set of glasses Discord had conjured, then the three of them drank.
"I've only seen her that enthusiastic about chocolate milk," Fancy said, then noted the horrified expressions on the princesses' faces.
"You let Discord have your child?" Princess Sparkle said.
Fancy thought very little of her tone. "And the pegasus, Fluttershy," she answered, "When you become a mother, you get a sense about who is and is not a good babysitter, and he'll be able to keep her out of trouble. Almost no one else in Equestria could."
If she'd hit the princess with a lightning bolt, Fancy doubted she could have disheveled her mane that quickly or completely. "Ah heh heh," Princess Sparkle said as she backed away from Fancy and took cover behind Princess Celestia.
Fancy realized that in all the Equestrian stories and histories she'd ever heard, Princess Cadence was the only alicorn to take a mate. Neither Celestia nor Luna had, and that fueled endless and thoroughly depraved speculation about Celestia and her series of young and impressionable students, and now Celestia and her sister. Another thing she didn't miss about being around her family or the other nobles.
She glanced at them. "Okay, I know you're all busy, but I need to get started if we're going to meet your deadline, which is when by the way?"
"Three weeks," Celestia said, "Five hundred have to be ready in three weeks."
At least it's not five thousand, she thought as she considered, Several metal molds to create the wax molds and then we can produce the sets. It's the trimming that will take the time. I hope they aren't in iron.
"If you have a casting facility available, that shouldn't be a problem," she said, "What's the material?"
"Chocolate," the four princesses said.
Oh dear, she thought. Cadence was the first available, so she posed. Mainly to demonstrate points of articulation. "I understand your company has developed those marvelous toys."
"Yes," Fancy said, "Klein Bottle comes up with the crazy ideas. I make them work, and we sell them like daisy sandwiches on a summer's day. Highness, please extend your foreleg, and drop your hoof."
"This is different than I'm used to. The royal sculptors would have me pose in the position they were going to sculpt," Cadence said.
"Yes Highness, but I'm making a smaller model, and I need to know what your skeleton can do, then I'll sketch out the pose. Now the other leg, same pose." Fancy had a dozen sketches of how the Empress of the Crystal Empire could move. She'd get a pose, and show it to her, then the mold maker would sculpt a rough.
She'd told her team to get some sleep now, because the days were going to get packed and scattered for a while. "Hoof straight out your Imperial Highness."
"Oh, just Cadence, please," Cadence said and giggled nervously.
"Considering the Crystal Empire isn't a signatory of the Multicursal treaty, I think I can do that," she said.
"Is that . . . ?" Cadence asked, "Well, your partner shocked Princess Celestia."
She looked up. "You can relax, I'll finish up these sketches. I can't imagine him doing anything improper."
"It was proper, just incredibly archaic," Cadence said as she trotted over and looked over the drawings. "These are unusual."
"I'm no artist, and I just need the details for the mold maker," she said, "What did you hear? Klein never told me anything, other than he'd been banished from Equestria by both Diarchs in concert." She looked at the stunned Princess. "What?"
"That isn't what I heard," she said, "Not that we discussed it in depth, but I did ask about the toy fair."
"Well, you can check Equestrian law. I don't know the details, but Klein has never lied to me."
"You care very much for him, don't you?" Cadence asked.
"He took me in when even my own family tossed me out. He trusted me with a lot of his secrets, but only going forward. His past he keeps to himself. I've traced it back to Canterlot. But there the trail disappears."
"Have you asked?" Cadence asked.
"Yes, he said 'you don't want to know', but I do," Fancy said.
"Chocolate?" Buzz, her moldmaker asked. She looked at the materials she'd brought for mold making and mournfully shook her head, "Lost wax not so good." She cocked her head. "Maybe make it by looking at lost wax to make molds. Complication."
Fancy nodded. "I know, the softness of the material works against us."
Buzz looked up as Discord entered. The draconequus arrived with Dipper and Fluttershy. The 'god' of chaos looked like he'd been dragged through a knothole straight into a meat grinder, and pounded flat by a steam roller. And would gladly crawl across a field of broken glass to do it again tomorrow.
"Discord, thank you," Fancy said as she took her sleeping daughter from his arms.
He almost protested, but instead looked wistfully at her.
"Are you available to look after her tomorrow?" Fancy asked. The draconequus brightened and nodded numbly.
"Let's get you tucked in to bed," Fluttershy said as she led him away.
"Poor Discord," Stone Blizzard, her sculptor said, "I'll work with Buzz on how to get the molds. You need to get some rest. Princess Luna is nocturnal, very early morning will be best."
Fancy nodded as she carried Dipper in and laid her down, then went to sleep herself. She left her team to do the work while she rested so she could do hers.
Night Court was essentially over, and the sun would rise in a few hours. Her 'Nightjesty' seemed surprised that Fancy had arrived with her sketch kit. Fancy bowed, and that was all.
Much to her Nightjesty's relief, Fancy thought as she straightened up, Even the bow was over the top for what most court functionaries do.
"Your Highness, I've come to get sketches for my mold makers," she explained.
Luna nodded. "My office, I would rather have privacy for this."
Fancy nodded and the functionaries filed out. A few guards accompanied them.
"You seem less intimidated than so many others," Luna said.
"My family are Canterlot nobles, I grew up walking the palace, your Highness," Fancy said, "I only fled because I was disowned and feared for my daughter."
"Feared?" Luna asked.
"Her sire was an artisan, not a noble. Having her around would taint the chances for a 'proper' marriage," Fancy said.
"Arranged marriages are illegal," Luna commented as she opened a large room and invited Fancy inside.
"There's illegal, and there's family pressure. Knowing your child might be spirited off to an orphanage at an unguarded moment. Threatening, then bribing a husband to relocate without leaving a forwarding address. Nothing that can be proven as criminal to a court of law, but all adding up to the same thing. So I fled with my daughter, Klein took me in, gave me work and a future." She hid her grin at Luna's discomfort with the male's name.
"That is to his credit," Luna said.
"How did you two meet?" Fancy asked, "He seems fairly brave, but he's terrified of you and Princess Celestia." Fancy used Luna's brief paralysis to begin sketching.
"There was an incident with my sister. He was mistakenly caught up in the dragnet," Luna explained, "He fled custody before the situation could be explained or remedied."
" 'Remedied?' So he lost his home and his job, and fled the country," Fancy said as she sketched, "That seems an awfully severe reaction to mere questioning by the authorities." Fancy paused to almost give Luna time to answer, then she interjected, "That would explain the nightmares."
Luna froze.
"If he were a pony, you could help him with that," Fancy said brightly, then frowned, "No, as scared as he is of you, it would make them worse. Forget I said anything your Highness, that was stupid."
Luna nodded weakly. "And your nightmares?" she offered, "With the concern for your child, I would think they would plague you."
"Nary a one since I hooked up with Klein. Except when I have too much sarsparilla in the evening. But those are more disorienting than frightening. Once I realize I'm asleep, I can just ignore the insane goings on and just watch them." Fancy kept sketching, catching a knee joint, the details of a wing, and the effect her chatter was having. "That's not to say I wouldn't deeply appreciate help if it ever came to that."
"I see," Luna said, "So are you and he . . . intimate?"
Fancy sighed and looked as depressed as she could. "I get hugs, but he sleeps alone. He says it's the nightmares, but I can see he's lonely. Something really hurt him and he's still deeply afraid." She perked up. "I guess just showing I can trust him helps. And maybe it is the nightmares. He had one after he came back from the toy fair." She snickered. "I shouldn't laugh but he was thrashing around and two of the office ladies came in to hold him so he wouldn't hurt himself. Now those were older ladies, but they were both fairly large minotaurs so you can imagine what it would be like to be asleep next to him when one hit."
"Yes," Luna said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"But he gives the best hugs, ones you never want to end," Fancy said, then giggled, "And the ear scratches, ooh! It feels so good you think your brain will run out your ears." She giggled again, more throatily. "Then the imp starts nibbling. Those pointy teeth. It's enough to put a mare into heat right then and there." Fancy noted Luna's blush. "But you must know."
"WHAT!?" Luna asked.
"Well, you knew him before I did, and he's so friendly and open. He would have seen you so sad and tense and well, helped? Privately and discreetly of course." Fancy said and looked at the stunned Princess. Fancy got a look of realization. "Is that what happened? He met you as Nightmare Moon and . . . well, that's none of my business what two adult ponies do together. But I'm sure if you sent him a letter explaining that you and Nightmare Moon are different ponies, he'd understand."
"That is not what happened!" Luna insisted.
"Well, getting arrested seems such a trivial thing to be so scared about. I'll tell him to stay away from you then, no use bringing up bad memories," Fancy said, "Uh, your Highness, I do have to ask something, and it's kind of embarrassing."
Luna sighed. "Ask."
"I need a full body sketch of you rampant with your wings fully extended. Would you mind?" Fancy asked and enjoyed the almost painful expression on the Lunar Diarch's face.
"It is not a problem," Luna assured her.
Discord was there bright and early to pick up Dipper. Fluttershy was with him.
"I thought you had animals to feed," Fancy asked, then glanced at Discord, "Or did you take the express?"
Fluttershy grinned and nodded. "I knew it was important to Discord, so we took care of that before coming here. Would it be all right to take Dipper to see some of my animal friends?"
"Certainly. There aren't too many animals wandering about up north, so that would be wonderful. Just remember how she gets into everything."
Fluttershy glanced at Discord, who was enjoying getting his beard tugged. "I think I can handle it."
"Thank you," Fancy said, "Say, you wouldn't happen to know if the Princesses have figurines, or action figures, do you?" When Fluttershy shook her head, Fancy asked, "Discord?"
"No," he said, blinked, "Why didn't I think of that?"
"With your commission, I thought you had," Fancy said, "That's what we were prepared for."
"So, you could make them?" Discord asked.
"I'll bring it up with her Highness Celestia when I do her session. I just have to get an appointment," Fancy said.
She waved as Discord collected the baby supplies.
"Oh, we're also going to the art museum," Discord said.
Fancy considered. "Okay, that's fine."
What are they going to do there besides . . . freak out the curators and the guards, that's what, Fancy thought, By doing nothing but looking, of course.
"Have fun," she called out. She headed out to contact Celestia's secretary to get an appointment for a sketching.
Luna shifted at the breakfast table, chasing her food around with a fork rather than eating it. Celestia noted her unease. "Rough night?" she asked.
"That mare is an idiot," Luna said.
"Fancy?" Celestia asked, "She seemed quite charming to me. And cunning enough to intrigue Discord."
Luna glared at her sister. "She speculated that the human, Klein Bottle, what a name, and Nightmare Moon were romantically intimate, hence his terror of the Pony Sisters."
Celestia heard Luna's despondent tone and knew she should be sympathetic, but instead, she started laughing and had great difficulty stopping.
"Tia!" Luna complained, "I'm serious!"
After several minutes, and the pain from her ribs giving her something else to focus on, Celestia was able to regain her demeanor.
"Tia!" Luna repeated, "I am serious!"
"Yes, of course," Celestia said and struggled valiantly to maintain the composure such a deep wound to her sister's loftiness deserved. Celestia burst out laughing again.
"Tia!"
"I'm sorry, but is it better than the rumor you and Twilight constructed him because you were 'lonely'?" Celestia asked.
Luna shuddered at that. "Slander most foul."
Celestia put a hoof under chin. "Considering Fancy's experience, perhaps you both could have benefitted."
"That's disgusting," Luna said.
"Well, I have a meeting with her. It will be interesting to see what questions she asks. As for her being stupid, Discord took up our flippant request to get the sculptures out. He chose her and her company to rub our noses in the ineffectiveness of the nobles. I don't think she's stupid."
"I can imagine what working with him must be like, just boiling over with new ideas," Princess Sparkle stood in the middle of the sun room and went on, and on, and on.
Fancy glanced up directly into the smiling countenance of Equestrian's newest Princess. She didn't jump, as she had the first five times, but still got shivers from the near demonic interest directed at her. "With respect your Highness, I already have a good sketch of your face, can you turn sideways so I can get the rest of you?"
The youngest alicorn suddenly realized what she was doing, took a step back and smiled. "Sorry," she apologized as she turned sideways. Within a few moments, she was nervously pacing again.
At least it lets me diagram her joints, Fancy thought as she sketched, I wonder if I should give her a completely frazzled mane, a manic expression and have her at a dead gallop? No.
"Not to worry Highness," Fancy said.
I think I figured out the nightmares, Fancy thought, He was locked in a room with this Princess, he mentioned one of his toy designs, and by the time they rescued him from her questions, he was probably ready to run to the back of beyond to get away from her.
"He doesn't talk about his past, so you'd know more than I would," Fancy said, "And you act like he's from another world, rather than just a clever inventor."
She glanced up at the stunned and visibly sweating princess. Yep, he had a run in with 'All Knowledge Must Be Mine' Sparkle, Fancy thought, No wonder he's traumatized.
"Not every brilliant person gets to go to Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Especially those who aren't," Fancy said as she sketched, "And some chose not to go, so they could see what interested them worked in the real world. The school's fine with theory, but if you want to see metal worked, you have to go to a blacksmith or a foundry."
"But you've noticed how many ideas he gets that never occurred to us here in Equestria," the princess said.
"Your Highness, I get ideas that 'never occurred to us here in Equestria' every day, from griffons, diamond dogs and minotaurs. Just walking the shop floor, talking with people who've done the work for twenty years," Fancy said, "So that my boss would occasionally get such flashes of insight is hardly Equestria-shattering."
"But don't you get the feeling that some of his ideas are . . . eerily unpony?" Sparkle said.
"Of course," Fancy said and watched the princess relax, "Just like the ideas I get from griffons, minotaurs, and diamond dogs I work with every day.". She glanced up at her horn. "Too many of us think a bit of bone you can't find on a zebra elevates us to the pinnacle of the intellectual achievement and anyone who has hands can't possibly match us. We're wrong every time we think it, but to assume a person has to have escaped from Tartarus or another dimension just because they can come up with ideas we haven't is the worst kind of intellectual laziness and cultural elitism. 'Wow they figured how to freeze fruit juices to make popsicles, ALIENS must have taught them that!' They couldn't possibly understand how ice freezes and have made the leap themselves. Pure and complete garbage."
Fancy noted the princess looking like she was ready to beat her head against the wall until one of them broke. Interesting, I thought the rumors that Twilight Sparkle and Princess Luna summoned a creature through magic was a load of malarkey, Fancy considered, I wonder what Klein's reaction to this will be. Maybe he'll whip off his disguise and eat my brain.
"I mean who'd believe that you and Princess Luna summoned him because you were so terribly lonely?" Fancy asked.
"Lonely?" Princess Sparkle asked.
Fancy turned to face away from her, wiggled her hips and let out a sigh. "You know, lonely?" With Sparkle paralyzed and wings at full extension, Fancy sketched as quickly as she could.
Celestia looked up from her delicious lunch. "Oh dear," she said as Twilight exclaimed.
"There are ponies who think Luna and I summoned him because we were, ah, lonely," the distraught former student gasped.
"How horrible," Cadence said, but was having as hard a time keeping a straight face as Celestia was. The guards were all outside the private dining room, and the servants were outside the 'privacy field' Celestia had cast.
"How dreadful," Celestia added, "She didn't accuse you of that, did she?"
"No," Twilight said and rested her chin on the table, "She suggested how silly it was that people thought that." She sat bolt upright. "But ponies think I'd do something like that? Yank an alien creature from another world just to . . . " She sank back down, putting her head on the table and covering it with her forelegs.
Cadence and Celestia exchanged looks over the overwrought, little alicorn.
"Well, you know it isn't true," Cadence offered, "Just like you realized Chrysalis wasn't really me."
Twilight perked up.
"Did anyone besides Applejack ever apologize for that?" Cadence asked.
Celestia realized she'd been outflanked.
"Not really," Twilight said.
"See, we all do things not out of malice but out of - what's the word?" Cadence said, hoof on her chin.
"Carelessness, foolishness, stupidity?" Twilight happily provided, turning the screws on her mentor.
"No, like pathos," Cadence said.
"Apathy?" Twilight said.
"Yes, apathy," Cadence said as Celestia felt lower than dust, "Like that Royal Commission Fancy and Klein got, and she applied for. I'm sure it wasn't malice that made Canterlot slam the door in her face. It just wasn't part of the policy."
Celestia noted that now Twilight looked as bad as she felt. "You sent the commission?"
"I thought it would be a clever way to get him here so we could explain, and maybe figure out a way to send him home," Twilight admitted and rubbed her hooves together, "Maybe I should apologize."
"Maybe you should," Cadence said and looked at Celestia, "Maybe a long-overdue apology is a good idea."
Celestia was suddenly aware that she was not the only strategist on the field. I think I need to take Fancy Thunder a good deal more seriously.
Celestia was getting more nervous by the minute. Fancy politely, always very politely, would ask her to move, hold a pose for a moment, then move to another one. She'd mentally prepared for a series of 'innocent' questions, as the others had been subjected to. The businesslike, near silence and expressionless demeanor was getting to her.
"I understand you had some interesting conversations with the others," Celestia said.
"Not interesting, your Majesty," Fancy began. No change in tone, no ear movement, and no deviation from her expression of concentration.
"You can call me Celestia, please."
"As you wish, Princess Celestia," Fancy said, glancing up from her sketch pad, "Not interesting, more like terrifying. Um, left rear forward, right rear back, and the reverse for the front, just a walking pose. Thank you, your - Princess Celestia." She sketched.
"Why horrifying?" Celestia asked.
"Well, Princess Celestia, when I arrived, I wanted to ferret out why my dearest friend would be so nervous about Equestria, and terrified of Canterlot, especially the Princesses. I couldn't even figure out how he knew the Princesses."
"We are rather famous," Celestia countered.
"Most people don't have terrified screaming, violently thrashing about nightmares about you. And this from a male who has little problem with me or Dipper, will negotiate with dragons, and doesn't seem to have an enemy in the world." She looked up. "Would you mind looking behind you? Yes, just like that."
"And now?" Celestia asked, feeling her pose was appro, her looking in the wrong direction and about to be hit by a train. "What do you think?"
"Princess Celestia, you can relax, I've got to finish these up. I'll have the first proofs out in the morning. Then we can adjust the poses, make detail corrections and the like."
"Oh, thank you," Celestia said and felt like smiling, but still heard the oncoming train, "What about your investigation?"
"When the answer became multiple-choice, I decided I didn't want to know," Fancy said as she concentrated on the paper.
Celestia walked over to look at the sketches. "Multiple choice?" she asked as she looked at scattered bits and pieces of her surrounding an over all 'framework' of joints and ranges of motion.
"Yes, her Lunar Majesty is angry that she successfully terrified him and he's still frightened of her. Or maybe that he never tried to hit her back, like a filly punching a colt to get his attention and he ignores her. Her Highness Twilight Sparkle thinks he is an alien creature silently plotting to eat her brain. Her Imperial Highness Cadence doesn't know anything about the events, despite them happening in or around the week of your 'enforced rest', so that means she either knows the real story, and has been sworn to silence, or is so appalled she doesn't want to talk about it, or she's been actively denied access to the information. Combine that with the terror I've seen in his eyes on waking from one of his nightmares." Fancy looked at Celestia. "Can you imagine looking into the eyes of someone you love more than life itself, who rescued someone you love more than your own life, and seeing only abject terror? Not random terror, but directed straight at you?" Fancy returned her attention to the sketches and her notes. "I don't want to know what caused it. I just hope by being a good friend I can help cure it."
Celestia stifled the urge to hug the mare. "If you could face who did it, what would you do?"
To her surprise, Fancy started laughing.
"Do?" Fancy asked as she wiped her eyes, "Do? Thank you, your Highness, I needed that. You do tell funny jokes, let no one tell you different." She blew out a breath. "I wasn't expecting that. Do? Nothing. There's nothing to do. A commoner from another country bringing charges against a Canterlot noble, in a Canterlot court?" She gave a hiccup of laughter. "The commoner would get a free trip back to their homeland by Bailiff Air when they got punted out of there. Highness, I have noble friends, and I'm hiding at the back end of beyond to keep out of the reach of the Canterlot nobility. The only record of Klein's existence is his arrival in Minotaura and his tax records in Multicursal. Nothing in Equestria. I know, I checked."
"I was serious," Celestia said, "If you could confront who hurt him, what would you do?"
"I wouldn't, Your Highness. While almost no one in Equestria is above the law, there are a whole host of people who are above being annoyed."
Celestia flinched at the fatalistic tone coming from one of her ponies.
"The coalition of nobles who were supposed to do the job my team is doing are not going to be punished for wasting the crowns' time and bits. Nearly every one of the princesses has remarked how speedily the process is going. I'm going to do my job, collect my bits, and have the thanks of the crowns and Discord for a job well done. I am not going to do a big reconciliation with my family for what they did, nor any other entity in Canterlot for what I've suffered as part of their games. Highness, I have a life waiting for me in Multicursal. I have a male who treats my daughter as his own, I have a boss that I love, work I am very good at, more money than I could spend in a frugal lifetime, and more important than that, I have hope. Hope I never had as a filly. That I and my daughter will be judged by our accomplishments, not by our proximity to the crown."
"I see," Celestia said as she bowed her head.
"Please don't take this the wrong way. I am doing this job because I believe you deserve it. Not for that expensive chunk of metal on your head, but because the person Celestia deserves to have something she wants done right."
Celestia felt a tear on her cheek.
Fancy looked up. "Come here, no one to see but us." She spread her arms, and when Celestia bowed her head, Fancy hugged her, stroking her neck. "It's all right, let it out, let it all out. He's forgiven you, now you have to forgive yourself for what was done in your name."
Celestia let herself cry.
"What a morose group this is," Cadence said as she entered the banquet hall for dinner and surveyed her fellow princesses.
"We are not morose," Luna said, "We are concerned."
"I'm just thoughtful," Celestia said and smiled a bit.
"And Twilight thinks we're all doomed," Cadence said and chuckled at Twilight's frown. "As I understand it, they'll be working the molds tonight, and have the first set of proofs tomorrow morning around breakfast. If someone found a chocolate pouring house." Cadence stared at Twilight. "We could start work in the afternoon."
"Uh, yes, I'm getting right on that," Twilight said and left, her meal untouched.
"You're going to give the chefs a complex," Cadence said as she dug into the food, "They're going to think you three not eating is their fault."
"Cadence," Celestia said, "What do you know, really know about the events of my 'enforced vacation'?"
"You were put under a doctor's care after something damaged a large chunk of the palace," Cadence said, "That's all. The rest is third-hand rumors and speculation. Some of the speculation I trust almost as much as the facts. That something attacked you in your quarters. When you tried to subdue it, it blew itself up, and not completely successfully. That it was interrogated before it died, and it raved like a madmare about things I've never even heard of. Maybe Twilight could explain some of them, they're gibberish to me."
"Then know we used magic to trace back where it came from and kidnaped another of its kind to interrogate," Luna said, "We were expecting something just as mad and as hostile."
"It wasn't anything of the kind. Fancy dotes on it, and it had the opportunity to fling its claims and charges against us out into the international community. Instead, it requested to simply be let alone," Celestia said and picked at her food, "We granted that request. It seemed the only decent thing we could do."
"Return it home?" Cadence asked.
"Luna and Twilight were certain it was an active participant in that world's plan to attack me," Celestia said, "I think you can guess why it, he, would want to avoid all contact with Equestrian Royalty."
Cadence looked at the shame-filled Lunar Diarch and nodded. "Yes, I can imagine. I read a transcript of his 'calculus of rulership' speech. A sobering thought. As a rebuke, it's about as gentle as you can get and still be considered one. So why pick at the scab? He doesn't trust us, but he won't attack us, even verbally. This can't be the first time someone hated you just for who you are. In this case, he is more justified."
"But how do we make amends?" Luna asked.
"You want forgiveness and absolution? He's already forgiven you. Forgiveness is for the giver, not the recipient. But absolution, learn to live without it. Despite forgiving him a thousand times, Shining can't forgive himself for the Changeling Invasion, or falling for Chrysalis' trick. If this Klein Bottle wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire, live with it. Forcing him to do anything, even accept your friendship, is a tyranny worthy of Sombra, or Nightmare Moon."
Celestia nodded. Luna kept staring at the floor. Cadence left them to their thoughts and finished her dinner.
Morning came, and so did the promised proofs. Fancy looked over the dour faces of the princesses. "Well, you look like you had the same dream I did, except you took it seriously." She'd had several bottles of sarsparilla specifically to promote those dreams.
"What did you dream?" Cadence asked, ignoring Luna's head shaking.
"The siege of the Spider People of Canterlot by the Cheeses of the Southern Lands. The spiders were losing because pony armor doesn't fit spiders, even if their bodies are the size of a piglet, and spider venom really doesn't work on cheese," Fancy said, "Although the real horror was the songs before and after a fight. The spiders couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, and the cheeses' singing was more pungent than some of their bouquets."
"Did you negotiate a peace?" Celestia asked as Fancy carefully unpacked the proofs for the princesses to look at. She ignored Luna's frantic hoof waving and added, "As would befit a heroine out of stories?"
As Luna facehoofed, Fancy passed out the first proof to their respective princesses. "I convinced them that the Spiders of Canterlot weren't their real enemy, but the great Fondue Wizards of the Deepest North." Fancy glanced at Cadence. "Farther north than the Crystal Empire."
"My subjects thank you for your thoughtfulness," Cadence said as she looked over the wax figure. "This is very good."
"They also all fit together as a sort of diorama," Fancy said, "So the whole kit and caboodle packed up their siege train and headed north. The spiders sang their victory song," Fancy said.
Luna let out an anguished groan.
"And the cheeses sang some truly awful marching songs," Fancy said. She looked at the princesses trying to figure out how the various figures fit together. They settled on Celestia in the center, Luna on her right, but sheltered under Celestia's outstretched wings, with Cadence and Twilight en echelon on the left, also under Celestia's wing.
"That's charming," Celestia said, "It's too bad that these are cast in chocolate."
Fancy grinned and pulled out some cleaned up sketches. "Actually," she said as she passed them out, "I wanted to talk to you about that."
Drawn With the Night Into the Day
Drawn With the Night Into the Day
by Dan's Comments
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Discord waved a hand in front of the wildly staring princesses, and received no reaction. He looked at Fancy, then to Dipper and asked, "You know what this means?"
"Picnic!" Dipper announced.
Discord grinned and they reappeared, along with the buffet table and the rest of Fancy's team, outside in the gardens.
Dipper hopped out of Discord's lap and headed over to the buffet table with Fluttershy. Fancy headed over to calm down Shadow Lightning, Buzz, and Stone Blizzard.
"So what did you do?" Discord asked, and glanced over to Fluttershy who was looking at him. "I am just curious. I had nothing to do with it, I think."
"I proposed the action figures," Fancy said, "Posable bodies, brush-able manes and tails. Maybe a set of accessories: playhouse/palaces, maybe some items that they usually use."
"Books."
Everyone looked around. Fluttershy blushed. "Twilight loves books," she said.
"I don't know if they took the idea well, badly, or not at all." Fancy glanced around and shrugged. "They just sort of stared at the models and made little, whimpering noises for a while. Although the tone of the noises varied from Princess to Princess. Celestia sounded happy, Luna worried, Cadence sounded scared, and Twilight will be the first customer for the Celestia toy."
"Make the first run pink and really girly," Discord suggested.
"Next you're going to tell me to make it say stupid things like 'send her to the moon!'" Fancy said.
The aforementioned four princesses trotted out into the enclosure. Buzz and Stone Blizzard immediately threw themselves on the ground. Dipper looked at them, and instantly did likewise, much to the consternation of the princesses.
"She's a citizen of Multicursal, not an Equestrian," Fancy said, "I hope you'll pardon her for not repeating the whole formulas," Fancy said and bowed.
"Please, we're all friends here," Celestia said.
"Boy, she sounds worried about that," Discord said. Celestia frowned at him.
Fancy thought the same thing.
"She's here to ask you to report for evisceration and cremation," Discord said, "With some defenestration thrown in for good measure."
"Oh WOW!" Fancy squealed and danced excitedly, "Can I take Dipper along too? That sound ever-so fun!"
"I don't think you understand what that means," a horrified Princess Sparkle said.
Fancy raised an eyebrow to Discord, who shrugged. She turned to face Twilight. "There is a cognitive dissonance apparent in sesquipedalian loquaciousness becoming a, if not the de facto indicator of and its lack as a contraindication of intelligence. Smart folks can and do speak plainly too," Fancy said, "Your Highness."
Twilight blushed as Discord and Fancy giggled. "So your Highnesses, do you like my idea?"
Celestia seemed very nervous about answering, and none of the other Princesses seemed willing to assist her. "It is very, ah, bold," Celestia said.
"Your Majesty," Fancy said, "We can put a warning right on the box, 'Not to be used for devotionals, shrines or other religious observances.'" She grinned at the trio of horrified, and one distinctly conflicted princess.
"BOOM!" Dipper said of the now prone draconequus. On closer examination, she added, "Swirlies!"
Fluttershy was not helping as she succumbed to a case of the giggles.
"That is not what we fear," Luna added too hastily.
Fancy merely bowed. "Of course, your Highness." She turned to Princess Sparkle. "If the design is acceptable, which confectionaire do I need to contact?"
The distinctly nervous smiles did nothing for Fancy's confidence.
Fancy walked towards Pony Joe's on a mission. There was an expert she needed to consult, and for that consultation, she felt she really ought to offer a bribe.
"Hey, Fancy!" the baker called, "Long time no see."
"Family troubles," she said, "Had to run all the way to Multicursal to keep my foal," she admitted, "But right now, I need your help."
"I'm busy with the store," he said, "But whatever I can do."
"It involves the store. You had some special, filled doughnuts, I need a dozen, and in a bit of a rush," she said.
"Doughnuts help you out of a big problem?" the baker asked.
"Actually, I need the doughnuts to help Discord help their Highnesses out of a big jam the nobles got them into."
"Okay, now I don't want to know." The baker crossed his eyes. "Doughnuts, and the Princesses, and Discord. Yep, I'm sure. I don't want to know. I assume equal numbers of each flavor?"
"Unless you know better," she said and got a strange look from Pony Joe, "What, my mane on fire?"
"Naw, just that," Pony Joe began then glanced around, "The idea that you'd trust a workpony to use his best judgment. You've changed, for the better."
"Thank you. I had the 'noble unicorns know everything' beaten out of me. I have learned that the folks doing the work may have insights I don't."
"Heresy!" they said together and laughed.
"Well, I'll have that batch up and ready in a half-hour," Pony Joe said.
Fancy walked the streets of Canterlot. Examples of Pony Joe's expertise safely stowed in her saddlebags.
"Fancy, Fancy Thunder is that you?" she heard from a voice she dearly wished she would never have heard again. "Fancy wait!"
She didn't increase her pace, she kept walking as if she'd heard nothing. A skill she'd picked up as a noble. One didn't shove a hoof through an offending face, one merely didn't invite it to dinner. In this case, two faces; two, two-faced faces.
Unfortunately, they were running in pursuit, unusual enough that she had to turn and acknowledge them. "Lord Jet Set, Lady Upper Crust, how may I be of service?" she asked and smiled pleasantly while inwardly fuming.
"You're back in Canterlot?" Jet Set asked.
"A commission," she said, "They needed someone to rescue the charity offering."
"You didn't bring your foal?" Upper Crust asked.
As if I'd tell you, you useless piece of green fluff, Fancy thought as kept the snarl from her face, Hoping to gain favor with the family by laying Dipper at their feet? They may not know what a vicious, little thing you are, but I do.
"Your associates in Intelligence haven't told you?" Fancy said sweetly. "Well, this has been fun, but I have work to do. Excuse me."
"Fancy," Jet Set said, "Don't be like that."
"Lord Jet Set, you are no longer my cousin, I was disowned. I am now one of those ponies we all used to sneer at and belittle," Fancy said.
"Well, it seems breeding isn't enough to overcome true crudity." Upper Crust stuck her nose in the air and walked off.
"You'd better go before you get in trouble," she told Jet Set.
He frowned. "She thought she was doing you a favor," he told her, but nodded and headed off.
That almost makes it worse. I wonder if anyone hates her as much as I do, Fancy thought and continued to the palace.
Princess Sparkle was off doing something, but she wasn't who Fancy was after. "Spike?" she asked.
"Fancy!" the little dragon called and ran over for a hug, "I heard, I'm sorry."
"Would you like to meet Dipper?" Fancy asked.
Spike grinned. "Sure!" He got a suspicious look. "You aren't going to make me foalsit, are you?"
"No, I think you'd have to fight Discord for the privilege," she said. "I remember a dragon saying that you have to do the unexpected to win."
"I was talking about how I got into all those places, not trusting Discord with my kid," Spike said.
"Well, Fluttershy was with him to start. But I think she charmed him," Fancy said, then grinned and pulled out the doughnut box. "And I need a big favor. Pony Joe's specials." She flipped open the box revealing the filled doughnuts. "Ruby raspberry, emerald and lemon, custard with opals and diamonds."
Spike was practically drooling. "For, me?"
She hooved over the box. "I need to know a chocolataire who can cast the charity figures."
Spike let out a breath. "Twilight's been going crazy trying to get somebody."
"There's got to be someone who can do it," Fancy said.
"Sure, Geara's delicatessen." The little dragon perked up, then fell into depression. "But she isn't listening."
"I listened," she said and kissed Spike on the forehead, "The Geara Deli, thanks. Enjoy the doughnuts." She headed off to get the job done.
The dinner was nervous. Twilight had worked herself into a frenzy, and discovered that all the best houses couldn't complete the order in time.
"Twilight," Celestia said carefully, "We can try again tomorrow. Maybe the Royal Confectioners can help."
Twilight stared at her, then her expression softened. "I'm sorry. I don't like failing."
"No one's life is at stake," Cadence said, "No one will blame you."
Twilight sighed.
"Am I interrupting?" Fancy asked as she stuck her head in the door.
"No," Celestia said, "Please come in."
Fancy approached and set her saddlebags on the table. "I need your approvals before we go into production." She pulled two sets of chocolate figurines from the bag. All the princesses were stunned.
"How?" Twilight exclaimed.
"Oh, I asked an expert on Canterlot, seems to know everypony, and has contacts all over. Hero of the Crystal Empire to boot," Fancy said, "He even knows you four very well."
Twilight closed her eyes and her ears folded tight to her head. "Spike."
Fancy just grinned. "So, do I tell them to go ahead, or do we need to make some changes?"
"Ah," Twilight said, "What kind of chocolate are these to be made out of?"
"They can do 500 of any flavor, or a hundred sixty-six of milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate."
"I think white chocolate," Celestia said.
"I was hoping for dark," Luna replied softly.
"Princess Twilight?" Fancy asked.
"I hadn't considered," she said, and her hair frazzled.
"How does dark for her Highness Luna, white for Princess Celestia, and a mix for Princesses Cadence and Twilight?" Fancy asked and glanced from princess to princess.
"Yes," Cadence said.
Twilight just nodded.
"Yes," Princesses Celestia and Luna said.
"Thank you. I'll see to it." Fancy withdrew.
"See, you have other people to rely on," Celestia said.
Twilight nodded.
The sarsaparilla was having its expected effects. Discord standing in the middle of the insanity and gawking was almost worth it.
"Tea?" the fish in the tuxedo floated past and asked Discord. When the draconequus nodded, the fish unscrewed his head and poured a cup of tea. Not tea into a cup, the cup and tea formed out of the stream.
"I like it," he said quietly as he sipped his tea.
"Oh, I need to show you the library," Fancy said and walked over to the footstool and opened it, then climbed down the stairs revealed inside.
"I'm going to have to make sure I get a couple of bottles of that sarsaparilla," Discord commented as he followed her.
"Watch out for the grommets," Fancy warned as she poured a cup of liquid out of the bottle. "A jigger of math theory for you."
"I like how you think," Discord said and drank it. He stared off into space. "Oh dear, excuse me, I have to write this down." He vanished.
"Oh dear," Fancy said, replaced the bottle in the rack and decided to head off to explore some more.
"Luna!" Celestia exclaimed on greeting her sister. The sun was shining, the birds were singing more sweetly than usual. The charity figurines would be ready almost two full weeks ahead of schedule. And her dear sister. . . . "You look terrible."
"That mare is doing this on purpose," Luna said as she trudged down the halls of Canterlot.
"Doing what?" Celestia was almost afraid to ask.
"Giving herself nightmares!" Luna said, "Except they aren't nightmares to her."
Celestia kept her mouth shut, knowing the answer would only irritate her sister.
"Her dreams of last night were nearly blasphemous!" Luna said, then glanced around nervously.
"Oh my!" Celestia said.
"You were involved. In a most demeaning posture. Speechless and immobile, but your mouth open slightly, and your tail in the air," Luna hissed.
"Oh my!" Celestia said as she recoiled, then leaned close, "And?"
"You wore a saddle of softest, padded silk," Luna whispered and glanced around worriedly, "With stirrups."
"Oh my!" Celestia said, and hid her grin. "And?"
"He walked out, wearing naught but a pair of goggles."
"Oh my!" Celestia said as she recoiled, then leaned close, "And?"
"He climbed into your saddle."
"Oh my!" Celestia said, "And?"
"And when he put his feet through your stirrups," Luna said, and blushed furiously, "Your wings pop, poof, uh, went to maximum extension."
"Oh my!" Celestia said, "And?"
Luna stared at Celestia. "Do you not understand what this depravity must lead to?"
"Oh dear, you aren't going to steal him from me are you? I had hoped that his interest in an older, more adventurous mare would not come between us," Celestia said and gave big, doe eyes to Luna who stared at her sister in shock.
"Celestia," Luna gasped.
"But Luna, I haven't poofed for a stallion in so long," Celestia said as she flared her wings, "I know we promised to share, but you frighten him so, and, I just want this little thing for myself." She clasped her hooves under her chin. "Please?"
"Sister." Luna said in shock, "Upon seating himself, flames shot out of your, uh, from under your tail and you and he soared around like the unholy marriage of a fireworks rocket and a glider."
"Oh. Not lots of beautiful, alicorn babies as graceful and angelic as their mother? How disappointing," Celestia said, then perked up and called, "Hello Twilight, did you sleep well?"
Twilight joined the group, looking almost as scrambled as Luna.
"How did you sleep?" Celestia asked then shied back as Twilight grinned at her.
"Chaos, is logical," Twilight said, her ears twitching madly.
"Oh," Celestia said, and was glad to see Cadence arriving, looking chipper, and then as horrified at Luna's and Twilight's condition as Celestia was.
"Hi?" Cadence asked nervously. "I'm going on a trip to the Crystal Empire's embassy, with Fancy and Dipper, it seems Discord discovered a new math system."
Twilight giggled disturbingly.
Cadence looked at Twilight worriedly. "Something he got from a dream of Fancy's."
Luna whimpered.
Cadence looked back at Celestia. "I think Klein Bottle's method was more genteel."
Celestia considered and nodded.
Cadence watched Dipper stare at the crystalline sculpture of the Capitol of the Crystal Empire. The way it glittered as the light hit it. Fancy and Cadence sat close enough they could rescue the tower from Dipper, or vice versa.
"Are you enjoying your triumphal return?" Cadence asked.
Fancy started a bit but smiled. "It has been interesting."
"Is it as enjoyable as you hoped? Your revenge?" Cadence asked.
Fancy laughed nervously, but even Dipper looked confused by sudden change in Fancy's demeanor. "I don't know what you mean."
"I mean you've been going out of your way to show up or frustrate Princess Luna, and Princess Twilight. I mean, six bottles of sarsaparilla? Isn't that a bit much just to make sure when Luna looks in on you she gets an extra special nightmare?" Cadence asked and smiled.
"It was also an excuse to indulge. I loved sarsaparilla, I just can't drink it any more." Dipper had wandered over to Fancy. Fancy pulled her daughter into her arms.
"Would it help to say that Twilight feels terrible about what happened, and wants to make good?" Cadence said.
"Funny, she didn't send an apology. Of course she didn't offer one to me for her trick with the Royal Commission," Fancy said.
"Celestia never apologized to Twilight for dismissing her concerns about Chrysalis. There are a lot of apologies due that have yet to be delivered. You seem to be taking this a bit more personally than the victim," Cadence said.
Fancy hugged Dipper and sighed. "Maybe because it's so close to what happened to me. Somepony more powerful than you decides they can mess with your life, and when you try to escape, they try to drag you back so you'll listen to their explanation. No apology, no admission that what they did was wrong, just that you have to listen to them justifying themselves. 'I thought it was right at the time'. Maybe you have nightmares about getting locked up by the changelings, losing your loved ones to them."
"Occasionally."
"I had them all the time. About losing Dipper, about being traded off for favors to some other house. And no Princess Luna sweeping in to rescue me. Then I met someone who made them all go away," Fancy said, and stared at Cadence, "Isn't it right to want to protect that person?"
"I think from what I've learned, he did a decent job protecting himself, and you and Dipper. He told Princess Celestia, to her face, in front of an international crowd of witnesses to leave him alone. And she agreed. I can't tell you how much that hurt her. A bright, capable, independent individual tells her to her face that he doesn't see her as different from Sombra. You're going to do the same when you leave. Ponies like you, people like you and Klein are the ones she longs for. People who don't need her, but want to be around her. People who see and like the mare, not fawn on the crown. Now she has two wonderful examples, who seem to be raising a third, and they see her as a barely contained monster."
Fancy gulped at that.
"Yet she knows because of what her beloved sister and student did, Klein mistrusts her entire country and you hate her and all she represents, and she can't force Luna or Twilight to make amends."
"They'd only make it on their terms," Fancy said and frowned. Dipper fussed at little as how unhappy her mommy looked.
"Your problem is you aren't hitting the people you really want to hurt. You're just lashing out. I'll admit, if I found Chrysalis battered and bleeding at my doorstep, I'd be hard pressed to summon any mercy for her. But you need to really hit the people who hurt you, not the ones who hurt him. And for the record, when Princess Celestia found out what was going on, she put herself at considerable risk to stop it. Your friend Klein could very well have been a well-disguised tiger, not the pussycat he is."
"So how do I hit my family, especially my father, and not the Princesses?" Fancy asked.
"Actually, Discord may have that handled already," Cadence said, and grinned.
Fancy's eyes went wide. "No!" Fancy said and grinned.
"Oh yes," Cadence said, "Here you had all you wanted at your fingertips, and you were unaware. Who isn't paying attention now?"
Fancy frowned at that. Cadence carefully collected Dipper and held her. Dipper tugged on her mane but Cadence was used to that. "If you really want to give Luna and Twilight a good swift buck to the bits, you can apologize to them."
"An apology?" Fancy asked.
"Consider the phrasing carefully," Cadence suggested, "Oh, and let Celestia pay you, or at least your team, for their work. She deserves at least that much," Cadence said, "Besides, the more she pays, the deeper the knife goes into the ponies who were supposed to get the job done."
"All right, she showers me with riches and that hurts my dad, fine," Fancy replied, "But if she gives me a knighthood, I'm punching you right in the nose."
"I think an archduchy was what she had in mind," Cadence said.
Fifteen chalkboards hadn't been enough. The equations continued on sheets of paper, including one tacked on the side of an irritated dragon.
"Hello?" Fancy called as she looked around. Discord didn't worry her, but this insanity was not what she had expected nor was mentally prepared for.
"She's asleep," Spike said, standing unmoving among the drifts of paper, "Can you, uh, doing something about this?"
"I didn't bring a flamethrower. Would an easel do?" she asked as she assembled a stand and removed the papers from Spike and placed them on the stand in approximately the same position. "Do I even want to know?"
"Discord found out that chaos follows very complex mathematical patterns. He spent most of last night explaining it to Twilight. She returned from breakfast, and did this," Spike said as she levitated him out of the overwhelmed room. "About an hour ago, she stood up said 'I finally understand' ate her last piece of chalk and went in to fall asleep."
"I'm beginning to understand how it all happened," Fancy said, "She gets - excited, doesn't she?"
"You have no idea," Spike said.
"I think I have a fair idea," Fancy replied, "While she's off chasing Breezies, would you like to meet Dipper?"
"Sure, but I have to be back in about an hour and a half. That's when she'll wake up."
"You know her pretty well," Fancy said as they walked.
"Number one assistant," Spike said, puffing out his chest proudly.
"So, if somepony hurt Celestia, a pony from another world. And Twilight could reach into that world. She'd interrogate a pony from that world pretty harshly, wouldn't she?"
"Hurt Celestia? She'd invent new ways to get the information out of that pony," Spike said, "Ask Pinkie Pie about Twilight investigating something." Spike shook his head ruefully. "But Celestia, Shining Armor or Cadence would stop her before she hurt anypony."
Fancy nodded. "Would Luna?"
Spike tapped his chin as they walked. "Hurt Celestia. I think she might even help Twilight," Spike said, "Then you'd definitely need Celestia to stop her. Why do you ask?"
"I took a look in that room, thought about Twilight being a princess now, and wondered."
"So, I should have Celestia with me when she wakes up?" Spike asked.
"And Cadence," Fancy said.
Spike nodded.
The first fifty sets sat on the long banquet table as the princesses started in wonder. All boxed up, and ready.
"The remainder will be delivered by the end of the week," Fancy said, "I hope this meets with Their Highness' approval."
All but Cadence stared in stunned amazement at the little unicorn. Cadence made 'go on' motions.
"Your Highness Princess Luna," Fancy said and bowed, "I must apologize, it never occurred to me that after the first night of examining my sarsaparilla dreams, that you'd ever consider going in again, night after night. If I had known that was your intention, I would have made my intent much clearer."
Luna nodded, but had taken on a distinctive teal cast to her features.
"Your Highness, Princess Sparkle. It was presumptuous of me to suborn your assistant in my task of finding the manufacturer. I should have realized that not consulting such an expert on Canterlot was not an oversight on your part. It was impertinent of me to think otherwise."
Twilight grinned nervously.
"Lord Thunder, I owe you an apology as well. When I took Discord's commission, I did not even consider how my success would redound negatively on yourself and your family. I can only offer my own ignorance of the situation as defense."
The old unicorn looked like he'd rather be chewing nails that being here. But a Royal summons could not be overlooked, even by as August a personage as himself. The fact that Discord stood in the corner, holding a giggling foal, and glaring at half the assembly helped matters not one bit. "A true daughter of Equestria could do no less than serve the Pony Sisters in time of need," the old stallion ground out.
Fancy nodded, and Celestia smiled over all of them. "It's so nice we can all be friends."
Lord Thunder looked at Celestia as if she'd started giggling during a funeral.
"Considering all the apologizing going on," Cadence said, "I think you and Twilight need a little privacy. Don't you think, auntie?"
Celestia grimaced but nodded, leading Twilight away from the crowd. Fancy drifted over to Discord and Dipper. Her once-father did not follow.
"It hurts to lose someone," Discord said, looking everywhere in the room, save at Celestia.
"Relationships are anchors to hold you in stormy times. But there are times you need to cast away the anchors and fly free," Fancy said. "I take it you know about events here."
"He'd reappear at our planets' relative linear and rotational velocities, with no chance of being returned near his home, let alone over land, or even at a safe altitude," Discord said, "While you could develop lifesaving equipment to make the return more survivable, there's no way to guarantee it. Nothing available would let him survive hitting the water at transonic velocity."
"So he's stuck here," Fancy said.
"If they begin experimenting, there is a good chance someone might come through and demand restitution or justice. No one is ready for that," Discord said.
"A true son of Equestria could do no less than serve the Pony Sisters in time of need. Even if that need is covering over a chain of utter stupidity," Fancy said.
" 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.' Ponies need to think of the Princesses a certain way. Whether even the princesses want them to or not," Discord said.
" 'To the one, they care not who was served or why, merely that they were served up'," Fancy said.
"Don't forget, you grew up here. The Pony Sisters, and the other princesses desperately want to be loved for who they are. Those in Canterlot who do can be counted on the fingers of one paw. Now Luna and Twilight know there's at least one person out there who given a choice between trusting Nightmare Moon, Sombra, or Tirek, and trusting one of them, would have to have to seriously think about it. That's a poison that will only grow with time. For someone with even a tiny conscience, there's a grave difference between being hated by the unwashed, ignorant masses, and being hated for something you deserve to be hated for."
Fancy frowned. "For Princess Luna, I agree. You're forgetting, I knew Twilight as a student. If it was 'for Celestia' all considerations went out the window. My cousin said Celestia's previous student was even worse, could turn into a real monster to get what she wanted done."
Discord nodded. "I always wondered where she found the courage to face me not once, but twice."
The rest of the sets had been delivered to their Highnesses, and thence to the donors. All a week ahead of schedule, the hoofdragging by certain ponies hadn't been enough to stop Fancy's plans. The celebration had Fancy's team in the throne room listening to the speeches. Her plans to escape that had been thwarted by more competent opposition and that her heart wasn't in it. Spike taking her team on special-access tours to every really good sculpture gallery was dirty pool she thought.
"Entertain self by counting adverbs," Buzz said to Shadow Lightning.
Dipper had taken a more direct route and had gone to sleep in her mother's arms. Fancy was glad she had nothing else to do, or she would have been looking at her watch as the useless speechifying and the building a case for why it wasn't their fault continued.
I knew we should have taken Discord's offer of slipping us aboard a fast transport and getting us out of the country before anyone was the wiser, Fancy thought and noted Discord was no where to be seen.
The stallion who'd once been her brother was discussing the hardships they'd failed to overcome, and how glad that a 'foreign firm' could be brought in. The applause at his excuse-making was polite with a hint of enthusiastic. Fancy struggled not to yawn, and remain awake enough to know when she and her team were being summoned.
After a horrible and almost terminally boring interval, Her Solar Highness called on her. Per their lessons, which had been almost as tedious as the actual event, they went up together. The functionaries had been insistent they go up one at a time. Fancy knew that when a foreign VIP went up before the Diarchy, their bodyguard was permitted to accompany them. Unarmed, but she would have bet that her team would match any equal number of nobles. And she wasn't going five feet away from Dipper with so many of her once family present in the room.
With Buzz playing tail-end Charlie, and Shadow and Blizzard flanking her, Fancy could at least seem that she was enjoying this.
"My what a fierce defense," Celestia said only loudly enough for Fancy and her team to hear.
"Better I geld them, than Discord catch," Buzz said just as quietly.
Celestia raised an eyebrow at that, but Buzz just answered with one of her own. Until that moment, Fancy had discounted the story of the 'pony-ninja' they'd captured.
I guess they really did tie weights to its feet and throw it in the Lunar Reflecting Pool, Fancy thought, I wonder who was more surprised that the water there is only a two-feet deep, the 'ninja', or the throwers?
"For your excellent service to the crown," Celestia said.
It was all Fancy could do not to flinch.
"I name you Archduchess of the province of Legatio Indispositus Ortus," Celestia said, "And the title shall be carried through primarily the matriarchal line. Making Dipper the heir presumptive."
I don't know who squawked louder, Discord, or good-old dad, Fancy thought.
"I am - " Fancy began as she bowed, only for Celestia's hoof to gently but firmly hold her chin up.
Celestia bowed to the accompaniment of near shrieks from the crowd. "An Archduchess outranks a princess."
Then how by horn rot did you give me a rank above your own? And I've never even heard of that province! Fancy thought. Each of her three assistants received a Knighthood, not mere memberships in the Order of the Alicorn as Fancy expected, but Grand Commanders in the Order of the Garden. Another order I've never heard of. I'd think she made this up on the spot, except none of the usual suspects are collapsing in apoplexy, Fancy thought as she scanned the ministers off to the left and right who were simply writing down the recipient's full names, Okay, she's getting me back for all the trouble I've caused her student and her sister. And giving dear, old dad the screaming mimis, so I guess this new Order of the Garden is higher than his Order of the Rose. Judging from his position on the floor with my wonderful mother fanning him, it must be a good deal higher.
"Besatrix Undinial Zuriper Zolachi," Buzz said in a loud, clear voice, looking particularly horrified. Then added quietly, "Now you know why is called Buzz. Prefers it."
"Are all diamond dog names like that?" Stone Blizzard whispered.
"Pretty much," Buzz replied.
"Make a note," Celestia told the secretary who looked vaguely horrified, but made the note as ordered.
"It sets a Precedent," the scribe said.
"Only for this Order," Celestia replied smoothly.
Oh griffonflops! Fancy thought, She's really turning the screws to those idiots, isn't she. The Order of the Garden now allows nicknames be entered as the knight's proper address. Of course nobody outside of Canterlot would understand why it's 'the end of civilization as we know it!' Nor would they care.
As one they turned to receive the 'Accolade of the Court', the most tepid, half-hearted applause Fancy had ever witnessed. Except for Discord, Fluttershy and her four friends, Spike, Empress Cadence and King-Consort Shining Armor, and their guards whooping up a storm. Poor Princess Twilight was trying to figure out what was going on. Princess Luna was definitely having some serious issues with the goings on, but couldn't settle on horrifying, hilarious, or simply headachy long enough to craft a proper response. Discord giving Princess Celestia a polite curtsy didn't help either of the junior princesses.
With that they transitioned to the banquet hall and the reception. Where more speeches, including one Fancy would have to deliver, would raise their ugly heads. Before she left the throne room, one of the scribes presented her with a scroll. It was the charter of the Order of the Garden. She was the Chancellor of the Order, and there was a lot of hurly-burly in ancient form about upholding and maintaining the garden that she couldn't make heads of tails of. Adding to that, Discord was Dean of the Order.
At least I have someone to ask about what the hay is going on, Fancy thought as she made a slow circuit of the hall, with Dipper at her side. Her luck of only meeting the vaguely disquieted nobles who hadn't realized the whole thing was a slap in the face, ended as Jet Set and Upper Crust approached.
"How wonderful for you," Upper Crust said, pointedly missing that she should have addressed her by her title or either 'Your Imperial and Royal Highness' or 'Your Highness'. "Is that little Dipper?" she asked and stared at the foal.
Either Dipper sensed Upper Crust's true nature, or she picked up on her mother's defensive stance, because she let out a shriek that instantly separated every parent/older sibling from those who'd never heard a child of their family let off a sound like that. "The bad pony's tryin' ta hurt my mommy!" She latched onto Fancy's foreleg with both of hers and tried to shove Fancy back with all her force.
"Well! I never!" Upper Crust exclaimed as shied back.
"The bad pony's tryin' ta hurt my mommy!" Dipper repeated in case someone in VanHoover hadn't heard her the first time.
Discord wasn't quite tossing ponies out of the way, but it was a near thing. The wall of white interposed between Fancy and Upper Crust let Fancy collect the still sobbing Dipper.
"Forgive us Archduchess," Blueblood said and gave Upper Crust a glare that promised a request for seconds and a choice of weapons at dawn, "That was very rude." The terror his glare created on Jet Set and Upper Crust's faces indicated that the Prince hadn't fallen as far from the tree as was general surmised.
"Terribly sorry," Jet Set stammered.
" 'Terribly sorry', YOUR HIGHNESS," Blueblood growled.
"Terribly sorry, Your Highness," Jet Set managed as he and Upper Crust fell back within the crowd. As several of Blueblood's 'crowd' moved in to support him and screen Fancy.
Discord arrived and laid a hand on Dipper which also eased her sniffling and shaking.
"Aurora, if you wouldn't mind," Blueblood said to a mare who looked like she personified 'the Upper-Class Twit'. Except she wore an officer's jacket, and there was a flash of hidden cunning, then the return of the face that didn't launch a thousand ship, because it got lost on its way to the harbor.
"Archduchess, I'm a duchess too, although you're and arched one and I'm a straight one, not that you aren't too, but I've heard that you took up with the creature, well they say Princess Twilight summoned it to deal with her loneliness, and Princess Luna stole it away, and when they fought they teleported it out of the country so neither of them could have it, now that's kind of silly I mean isn't sharing so important?"
Fancy realized why Aurora was such a decorated officer, they could drop her on an enemy headquarters and let her just talk. The entire command center would be paralyzed allowing the entire Equestrian Army to march past without being noticed. If Discord's expression is any indication, it works on draconequi too, Fancy thought, even Dipper had stopped fussing and was staring at the stupidly grinning mare.
"Oh, while I've got you both here, I had an idea, well not an idea but a suggestion, the idea came first but it was kind of embarrassing, but not that embarrassing considering I had fun while I was dating them and I've got no regrets but I always came back to ponies cause they fit better and I realized I couldn't tell you all the ways we had to work at it, especially with a little one sitting there, not that getting the little one started and out wouldn't give you a lot of experience in that regard, it's just that it's so much easier when you're both the same shape and instincts. It's a comfort thing, right Discord?" Aurora said and grinned.
I'm not sure if those are tears of joy or frustration, Fancy thought of Discord's befuddled expression, Starting a kid, dating, the same shape . . . she isn't suggesting-? Yes, that's exactly what she's suggesting, and it's brilliant!
"Who knew that lime jello was such a turn off to diamond dogs, of course I apologized but he never wanted to see me again, which is really sad cause we had something really special, besides the obvious."
" 'Obvious'?" Discord asked sounding lost and adrift.
"Yeah, we were both officers on a frontier post, loneliness of command and all that. I never understood why I got sent there, I was doing such a spiffy job with General Rockwall and the Quartermaster corps, except for his colonel selling off the dinner trays to get melted down, but that wasn't his fault, I mean the investigation cleared him and -"
"Pardon me," Fancy said.
"Oh I do go on, sorry Archduchess." Aurora seemed to enjoy saying that title.
"Discord, from our earlier discussion could you create say a horn ring that would let me change forms. Just one setting, if you understand what I mean."
"I'm not sure I understand anything right now," Discord admitted, took off his head, shook it and put it back on. "Better. My expertise in the aesthetics and instincts are what you're after?" he asked.
"Yes," she told him and caught Aurora's faint smile before it blossomed back into an idiot grin.
"Oh wow, they say interfacing with people is a good way to get to know them and walking a mile in their shoes but nailing horseshoes to them just gets them mad so I guess some nonpony race came up with that saying and not ponies, but they would be not ponies if they were nonponies after all, so that's silly, and speaking of silly, I heard that you and him, he is a him right, it would be weird to say he was an it but it was a him would be a little insulting so I guess he was a him is about the best you can do. So you and he have a bad history with Upper Crust in common but I wouldn't mention it just yet as you are estranged from your family and you're trying to be less estranged from his so it would be important to tell him before the wedding but well after the cuddling. Don't you agree?"
"I'm going to go with yes," Fancy said, "Why didn't they ask you to interrogate him? You and Pinkie Pie would have been perfect."
Aurora shrugged. "That would have been Celestia's plan."
Fancy and Discord nodded at that.
Drawn With the Night Into the Day
Drawn With the Night Into the Day - The Conjugation
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
The Archduchess of Legatio Indispositus Ortus, Fancy Thunder, walked through the halls of Canterlot and was pursued by a wave of curtsies as she walked. She did it on purpose. Well, she does everything on purpose, but this was particularly on purpose, she thought as she walked. It had been most disturbing when Celestia had bowed to her at breakfast, and kicked Luna under the table when she hadn't. At least Cadence nominally 'outranked her', so she wasn't playing the idiotic game.
The problem is, when Celestia plays a game, even in private, it suddenly becomes the favorite pastime of every pony in Canterlot, she thought of the bow she got from some officious frump, and sent her away in screaming terror when Fancy bowed back, And either act like it isn't game or don't know it is. The mare rolled her eyes and hoped Discord was getting a laugh out of all of this.
Especially when my Archduchy is a small 'Chaos Garden' in the Multicursal Embassy, she thought of that particular revelation, Klein's going to disown me, or laugh himself sick, or both.
Then she spotted the two people she'd been looking for, and an added bonus. I get to 'rescue' Princess Sparkle, then drive the screws in, perfect, she thought as she approached Prince Blueblood haranguing the Princess about book binding.
"Prince Blueblood," she said and had to endure the bows. "I was looking all over for you, and Spike, I was going to look you up next."
"Whatever your need is, I would be honored to fulfill it," Blueblood said and Sparkle rolled her eyes.
"Well, I'll be going," Twilight said, "Spike don't forget our meeting with the Princess." She started walking away.
"The inception of the garden," Fancy began, and Sparkle froze in midstep, "I was going to impose on you about officiating at it, and Spike I was hoping you could act as intermediary to the Apple family, on obtaining an appropriate cultivar."
"You want the Apples to give you a tree?" Spike asked.
"I want the Apples to sell me a tree, and Applejack to help supervise its planting," Fancy said and noticed the frozen princess a few hoofsteps away. "I'd want a noble from Equestria with a more extensive pedigree, and a mare of good down to earth stock to show Klein that not all Canterlot nobility and Equestrian mares are slavering monsters wanting to rip his guts open and parade them through the palace in triumph."
Blueblood and Spike glanced at the princess, still facing away, who looked like someone had hit her squarely between the ears with a sledge hammer.
Fancy continued, "And afterwards, you might indulge Klein and let him show off his factory and some of the innovations."
Fancy had heard that Sparkle could teleport, she got ample proof as the mare managed to swap ends and halve the distance without moving. She was also drooling.
"Wouldn't that be rather unscrupulous?" Blueblood asked, "Despite my reputation, that's practically industrial espionage."
Fancy waved his concern away. "Nonsense, when we got that phony commission earlier, he said he'd be willing to let some of our secrets slip, if I could return to Canterlot in triumph."
"You achieved that," Spike said.
"Beside, you stallions are all alike, you love to show off to someone who understands." Fancy giggled, and so did Blueblood. She grinned evilly to Spike. "Of course, if Spike can get some time off, I might have him smuggle Rarity out so we can have appropriate raiments. The Princesses and Empress seem to go with a minimalist approach, as an Archduchess, I should as well."
"Rarity?" Blueblood said, glancing around nervously, "She's an excellent designer, but, ah, uh, umm."
"They have a history," Spike explained.
She patted Blueblood's shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll have a talk with her before I let her near you with any pins," Fancy said, "After what happened to me, can you imagine what your mother would have done to her? And your dear, little sister? If there's a more vicious hinny in all of Canterlot than my sister-in-law, it would be your little sister. I half expected to find out she was the second torturer Klein faced when he was here." She noted that both Spike and Blueblood were practically staring at Sparkle, but Fancy refused to look, the pair's horror was enough of a clue. "Upper Crust was the perfect choice, utterly without scruples as long as she's brown-nosing a societal superior, and ruthlessly cruel to those below her. 'Kiss up, shit down', Klein called it. It would explain his nightmares perfectly. If you'd skinned Rarity alive, it would have been less than what your family would have done to her."
"Unfortunately true," Blueblood admitted and glanced past Fancy to Sparkle again.
"Besides, I'll just tell her you and Spike recommended her," Fancy said, and watched Spike keel over. "Oh dear. Oh Princess Sparkle, I know you're in a hurry, so I won't keep you any longer, forgive me for monopolizing your assistant, but he's such a clever chap, and so well connected."
Twilight of the Frazzled Mane laughed nervously as she collected Spike.
Fancy led Blueblood away from the completely disordered princess. "Klein has some absolutely fascinating ideas, but our facilities are at maximum stretch, you might be able to help," she said as they walked away.
"You're laying it on a bit thick," Blueblood whispered, "Besides, if he's got ideas on book binding, that should be the nail to use."
"Well, he did have to explain to me what 'make a xerox' meant," Fancy said, "It seems a process that magic would make simple."
There was probably a desire to have a movie crew on hand in the Royal Rose Garden nearest the private landing pad. It wasn't every day a draconequus had a tearful parting. Dipper was making almost as much noise as Discord. The scene was heart-wrenching. Most of the ponies who'd assembled were in tears. Fluttershy was distraught by osmosis, and a group of her friends were consoling her. The other pegasus in the group looked revolted by the entire event.
"Honey, you have to let Discord go," she told her foal on her back.
"Don' wanna!" Discord said and he and Dipper howled louder.
"Discord, Dipper Doodle!" Fancy said in her 'mommy' voice.
Both fell silent.
"Discord, there are a few national holidays. I can talk about getting you an invitation. I'm certain that Dipper would love to see you, and I'm certain Klein will enjoy meeting you," Fancy said reasonably, "Dipper you don't want to leave Klein all alone?"
"No." The little one looked properly ashamed.
"Then give Discord a hug, and we'll be on our way," Fancy said, ignoring the stifled cry from the blue pegasus. She held Dipper up so she could hug Discord and give him a kiss on the nose. Then to Discord's surprise Fancy hugged him. "Thank you for looking after her. I see she enjoyed your outings a lot."
She tried to ignore the startled cry, but when she did look, all she saw was a long piece of rainbow hair and a blue wing protruding from where Applejack and Rarity were sitting, side-by-side, smiling broadly, and looking impossibly innocent.
She let that go, as well as the faint whimpers and twitching tail/wing emanating from the pair's seat. Her 'knights' fell into formation.
"You still one crazy," Dame Buzz said.
"Yep," Fancy agreed and let Dipper play peekaboo with Discord until they boarded the airship to take them back to Multicursal.
"I simply must come up with the appropriate raiments," Rarity said as the airship disappeared from sight.
"Considering it's all gardening, a set of work duds would be your best choice," Applejack said, shaded her eyes to try and spot the ship. Pinkie and Fluttershy were consoling Discord. She and Rarity shrugged at that.
"Guys, I'm calmed down now, can you let me up?" Rainbow asked.
"Applejack, did you hear something?" Rarity asked.
"Thought I heard a Pinkie Promise almost gettin' blown to kindling," Applejack said, "What's wrong with work duds, if her Archduching is weedin' her garden, ya need to look royal-like doin' that. Easy ta clean too."
"I accept the premise, but it seems, so, well, blah," Rarity said.
"Their Highness' stuff is pretty plain, compared to some fashion, maybe it's a high royalty thing. Once you get up there y'all can look like regular folks with just a smidge of fancy," Applejack said.
"But the right smidge!" Rarity said.
Applejack nodded.
"Guys!" came from beneath them.
"It just seems that for such a post it requires something special," Rarity said.
"Understated elegance," Fluttershy offered as she approached, wiping her eyes. She glanced pointedly at the ground.
"Oh dear," Rarity asked as she and Applejack moved aside, "Rainbow, how did you wind up down there?"
She and Applejack both managed to keep their straight faces for a few moments at Rainbow's incredulous expression, then they both burst out laughing.
"Hey, Twilight," Rainbow called as she shook out her wings, "How come you didn't get an invite, you being royalty and all?"
"Ah," Twilight began, and began sweating bullets, "That's a very good questions. Umm, oh dear, I have to change the wax in the oven, bye." The youngest alicorn teleported away. Pinkie wandered over and looked closely at the spot Twilight had occupied.
"You see," Discord began, "Fancy's man, Klein, met Sparklettes first, and Princess Luna. There were chains and threats and deep passion involved. And when she broke it off, he ate a bunch of poison."
"You're making that up!" Applejack insisted.
"Ask one of the Princesses," Discord said, then leaned close, "But Applejack, Rarity, don't bring it up around Klein. Or his friends," Discord warned, "He didn't so much leave Equestria, and Canterlot, and Princesses Luna and Sparkle, as escape from them. Poor, brokenhearted Sparklettes even used Celestia's name in vain to lure him back into her, their, tender embrace. He rejected her outright, then in front of all the princesses and an international crowd said he wanted nothing to do with them or Equestria." He sighed and laid a hand to his brow like the beginning of a swoon, "Like many such stories of youngsters who don't understand love, immature mistakes scar so much more deeply than more experienced would suffer, and they can be made to sound thoroughly sordid so easily. So I won't gossip, and I'd advise you don't either."
The group took off in pursuit of Twilight.
Spike growled at Discord, then face-palmed as he foresaw unscrewing Twilight from the ceiling when they asked, or worse, when she found out they'd asked Celestia first.
The arrival of the airship at Multicursal showed a good deal more pageantry than her arrival in Equestria. Dipper had cried herself to sleep, and was now up and moping a bit, but in better spirits. Her team could hardly believe what was waiting for them. The embassy staff, and the high muckety-mucks of Multicursal were collected under a fancy banner. Except for Councilor Oleaginous, who stood with Klein and their friends under a simpler banner. The minotaur held up a massive spice cake, one he likely baked himself and one of the causes of his spectacular girth.
"He would deserve to go to Canterlot," Buzz said.
"Or they would deserve him coming," the pegasus said.
"I have a terrible feeling Celestia would love dealing with him," Fancy said, "As long as she wasn't the only recipient of his attention. If he sent one or two of those with chocolate icing to Celestia, he could probably 'blackmail' her into granting full nation status to Multicursal."
"Only Equestria," Stone Blizzard said.
"No, she'd grant it, or strong arm it from every other nation," Fancy said, "There are stories about Celestia and cake."
They walked down the gangplank, Buzz was cradling Dipper. Fancy was in the lead with Stone Blizzard as the tail of the column. Her first stop was her friends, and to deal with the inevitable teasing, perhaps legally required with so many Equestrian witnesses. Fancy drew herself up and gave the 'International' salute. It wasn't quite the military salute of Minotaura, nor Griffastan, nor Equestria, but it was close enough it would only offend true purists, who should instantly recognize it for what it was. She'd been so glad to find the sergeant with the sideburns who taught her that salute. I hope he enjoys the knighthood, she thought, I didn't have anything else handy.
While several of the protocol folks among the Equestria group let out a screech, her friends all did a passable job of duplicating the salute.
One of the Equestrian officials came charging over, only to be tackled by two of the guards and dragged back to the rest of the group.
"That's not what the protocol calls for!" the struggling nitpicker shouted.
"I wasn't aware there'd ever been an Archduchess since the absorption of the Pegasi into Equestria," the councilor said, "Grand Duke and Archduke because King and Emperor were seen as insufficiently militant."
"I don't even want to know what's the correct way to greet an Archduchess," Fancy said, "If it's from the Three Kingdoms Period, it probably involves abasement and the spilling of blood."
She stood on her hind legs and hugged Klein. "I missed you."
"I'm glad you made it back," he replied as he hugged her back, "Considering all the rumors, we weren't sure that they were going to let you come back."
Fancy hugged him tighter. "That's why she made me outrank her, so I could get away."
"You'd better go calm them down before they do something foolish," he told her and kissed her forehead.
She nodded and headed to the embassy staff. Klein had picked up Dipper, and soon had her giggling.
Fancy remembered the few times she'd been in Klein's house. How small it seemed: kitchen, large closet, bedroom, bathroom and a room full of books. Considering he 'lived' at the factory, she was hardly surprised. Stone Blizzard had taken Dipper for the night, giving Fancy the chance to spend some time with Klein. More importantly, to test his reaction to Discord's 'payment'. She'd tried it on back in Canterlot, and had been disappointed. Until Discord had explained 'the Uncanny Valley'.
'You won't move like a human, so if you look just like one, you won't be beautiful, you'll be disturbing,' he'd told her, 'But if you look a little pony-like, then your movements being pony-like will be acceptable, even exotic.'
She'd wondered about the rather odd shape and construction of what Discord had assured her would appeal to Klein. She had been very glad the change included the confidence of walking on two legs instead of four. She couldn't shake the feeling she was constantly falling and only hundreds of subtle movements of her feet prevented her from face-planting on the carpet. She also remembered to wear clothes, like Klein always did, but the clothing Discord had suggested seemed both undersized and spartan even by Klein's austere standards.
When Klein returned from hanging up their coats, she saw that Discord had payed her in full, and honestly. It was in her reaction that she realized Discord played his joke. While Klein's eyes roamed her body, sheathed in a 'little, black dress', she found herself flushing as she gave Klein a similar examination.
He's gorgeous! she thought hungrily. She was almost disappointed when he tore his eyes away from lustily admiring her.
"Fancy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare," he said, blushing as he said it.
"You were supposed to stare," she said, letting herself glide forward. "It was my payment from Discord." She took his hands and wrapped them around her, then embraced him. She kissed him as he seemed to be struggling with a question. "Because I love you. That you aren't comfortable with ponies I fully understand now. But you have been a better father to Dipper than her sire ever was, and I want more foals, and for you to be both sire and father. And when I've sat with you, held you, your hand, your nightmares seem less. Maybe I can keep them away." She snuggled against him, and marveled at the feel of the soft cloth moving over her bare skin. On a whim, she ran her fingers through his hair. "Oh, so that's why you like scratching behind my ears."
"I like scratching behind your ears because of how much you enjoy it." He leaned down and kissed her, running his fingers through her hair. They'd kissed before, but not like this. She hadn't felt like this even kissing her former husband.
They broke apart blushing furiously, and stood clutched against each other staring at each other for quite a while.
I swear Discord looked into the future and told me all this, Fancy thought.
"I want to watch over your dreams, we don't have to do anything else until you're comfortable." She buried her face in his chest. "But I'm comfortable right now." She stood holding him, and being held, listening him breathing. Occasionally he'd nuzzle her head, but he seemed to just enjoy what they had.
She felt her heart would burst out of her chest as he picked her up and set her on the bed. She was shocked as he removed the ring from her horn. She reverted to her unicorn form.
"You're a unicorn. If we care about each other, I need to accept that you aren't going to hurt me," he said as he took off his shirt and climbed into the bed next to her and gathered her close. "And I apologize for whatever happens. They've, been getting worse."
"I'll keep an eye on you. Rest. I'll be here." She almost squeaked as he gathered her in and held her.
She watched him, intently. Then about an hour in, his face contorted. Not fear, anger, real rage, and she felt it too. He wasn't the helpless victim in his dreams, but an active participant, even an active combatant. "You're dreaming, take control," she whispered, "You're dreaming, take control."
He made some noises she couldn't identify, then dropped into a deeper, more dreamless sleep. She settled in and watched him for a while, before letting herself sleep.
Her guards usually didn't wake Celestia from her slumbers. Luna was more than able to handle most challenges. But if she couldn't, then both sisters would win or lose together.
What she did not expect was a vaguely scorched and thoroughly sunburnt Luna tippy-hoofing around the throne room with the medics trying to keep up. She looked for all the world like she'd laid out in the sun too long.
A week too long, she wondered, How did that happen at night?
"What did you do?" Celestia said in her best 'disapproving, big sister' tones.
Luna cringed, allowing the medics to catch up and pour the soothing balms on her. "I went and looked into his dreams. I thought that with Fancy returned, he would see sense. Well, he gave me a box of sun in response."
I am going to ignore for the moment that she broke my word and hers, Celestia thought.
"You mean a box of sunlight? That's how you got sunburned?" Celestia asked, glad she was angry, so she wouldn't laugh at the nurses' actions, and Luna's less than pleased reactions.
"No, a box of sun, like a piece of the actual sun in a box. Although he called it a 'pony nuke'. If this is the pony version, I hope he never builds a real one for some other race. Somepony else could be seriously hurt by it."
When Fancy walked into the office, she knew the sway of her hips and tail would give a message that wasn't completely true, yet. But the first steps had been taken together and Klein seemed as willing, and eager, to walk the road as she was. Her joy took a hit as the entire office staff suddenly stood and saluted.
Only a few giggles let her in on the joke. She saluted back, and they all laughed together.
"Somebody got a happy," one of the older 'office ladies' said.
"I did not," Fancy replied haughtily, "I just drove away his bad dreams."
"So that's what you young people are calling it now?" The old minotaur said. Everyone laughed with Fancy.
"I hope Dipper wasn't too much trouble," Fancy said to Stone Blizzard.
"Not at all," the minotaur said, "Although I'd let her sleep, I let her stay up all night doing chores. She was lighting the way with her horn to scrub and polish, until she finally exhausted herself."
Fancy blanched a little at that, but she could get Dipper back on a regular schedule soon enough. "You let your kids do that?"
"My father is an astronomer, and my husband is between painting jobs, so there's always someone awake and around."
Fancy nodded, she'd known about Blizzard's husband, but not her father's profession.
"I also suspect that the garden, especially the apple tree will have to wait until next spring. That's when moving a tree is the safest."
"It'll also give her recent Highness' friends time to ask about events," Fancy said, "That will also be entertaining to think about."
"It won't do any good," Blizzard said quietly, "The ponies in that city are the best at 'that's somepony else's problem'. You didn't grow up until you had a problem you couldn't share with anypony. And had to rely on someone else."
Fancy frowned, but nodded. "I guess that's what makes me so mad. Seeing what I was exaggerated and hurting my friends."
"Then take your man's path. You live your life and let the rest of them hang. If The Undiminished Sun is really their all and god, then her subtle disapproval will be all the lash they'll feel, even if you set them on fire."
"Thanks. It's good to have people wiser than me."
"Glad you didn't say 'older'," Blizzard said.
"I said it once to Klein, and he told me 'It's not the years, it's the miles'," Fancy replied.
"Please," Discord pleaded with Applejack as he stood beside her stand as she sold apple preserves.
The farmpony pulled her hat over her face. "You were less annoyin' when you were scrambling mah brain."
"But if you tell me what I want, then I'll go away," Discord countered. Fluttershy was all giggles and Rarity was maintaining a ladylike smirk as they paused in their shopping.
"If'n y'all transplant a tree in fall, it'll die durin' the winter. Especially as cold as it gets out there," Applejack said through her fraying patience.
Fluttertree and Discord-tree stared at Applejack. "Transformations a specialty, spring, summer, winter, fall, all within my finger tips." Then he and Fluttershy were back.
Fluttershy nudged him and smiled hopefully. Discord sighed and changed her back into a tree. "Sometimes you ponies are disturbing."
He had to wait while Applejack got over her giggles.
"It's cold, the ground is hard, here's not much rain, trees store up food for the winter like squirrels do, and transplanting's a big shock. Too much of one along with the new climate. That's what kills the tree." Applejack stared at Discord. "Now do ya understand why I want to wait for early spring time?"
"But that's months from now!" Discord said, "I can just make it spring there, forever and ever," he said and laughed maniacally. Then he glanced at the tree. "Oh all right, have it your way. At least tell me you have a good tree picked out." The entire group and the stand appeared amid Sweet Apple Acres.
Applejack snorted, but accepted Rarity's placating motions. "Good fer your needs, not good for mine," Applejack said as she led then to a healthy looking, but very small tree. "It should be three times this size, but it stays little. It only produces a hoofful of apples too. That may be jist the right tree fer your garden."
"I concur. A small tree for a tabletop garden," Rarity said, "Well picked." She hid her grin at Discord's and Applejack's groans.
Fluttershy joined them and looked at the tree Applejack was proposing to send. "It looks like a brave little tree."
"That it is," Applejack said, then looked at Rarity, "You got more answers about that Klein fella than what Discord told us when ArchDuchess Thunder left? Every time I bring it up ta Twi, she runs off."
"Unfortunately, Princess Celestia affirmed everything Discord said, then suggested we broach the subject with Princesses Luna or Twilight. Both have been reacting to my queries as Twilight has to yours."
Discord hummed loudly and rocked back and forth on his heels.
The two mares briefly considered, but then winked at each other.
"Well, we'll never figure out what's ailin' them," Applejack said as she and Rarity walked back to the stand.
"If it is private, we shouldn't pry," Rarity agreed.
"It does bug me that Twi and the Princess won't confide in us," Applejack said.
"Maybe she's embarrassed by what happened," Fluttershy said as she joined them around the stand, "I mean, you know how she sometimes gets."
"I guess we'll have to wait until she's ready to tell us," Applejack raised her voice to get over Discord's humming.
"It is probably for the best," Rarity nearly shouted, "After all such delicate emotional states must be terribly uncomfortable. Unrequited love can be so romantic."
"Are you sure it's unrequited?" Fluttershy asked as loudly as she could, "He could have run away so he didn't have to decide between them."
"Then what's he doing with Fancy?" Applejack shouted over Discord's humming.
"Applejack!" Rarity shouted sharply, "A lady does not gossip about such things."
"Uhm, Discord," Fluttershy asked as she patted the draconequus, causing him to fall silent, "Did you have something to say?"
The group rematerialized in the market, right where they'd left from. "Well. Not really, at least nothing actually interesting," the draconequus mused, "Just that you haven't been taking all that Fancy said at face value, rather than as teasing."
"Okay, I'll bite. What the hay happened?" Applejack said.
"Well, I'm no gossip, but this is what I heard," Discord said.
Fancy collected the mail from the carrier and slipped inside to escape the biting cold. She smirked about Dipper carefully drawing using the pens and a pantograph of the drafting table under Klein's watchful eye. The bound collection of letters caught her eye and she unwrapped them. There was one from each of the Element Bearers, save one, and all addressed to Klein.
"Love letters from your fans," Fancy said as she hoofed over the letters.
Klein looked at them, and his expression grew more confused. "I'll take them to the 'fan letter' team. They'll get a nice form letter in return."
"I think those are different. Those are the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, Equestria's greatest heroines," Fancy said. She wasn't surprised when all of them went into the trash.
"Is there something about 'leave me alone' that Her Majesty doesn't understand, or is she so worried about me maybe telling the world that she has to badger me?" Klein asked and turned back to the lesson he was giving Dipper. "Okay, use the triangle to get the angles," he told Dipper before returning his attention to Fancy.
"Celestia is used to getting her way," Fancy said, "Or it could really be the others." She retrieved the letters from the wastepaper basket. When Klein frowned, she explained, "If you didn't want me to read them, you would have tossed them in the fire."
"If I wanted to piss off Her Majesty and the royal patrol, I'd invite Discord to the Solstice celebration."
"Would you?!" Dipper asked excitedly.
"No. But if you write him a letter, I'll proofread it and countersign," Klein said.
"My writing's terrible!" Dipper said and teared up.
"Then practice, practice, practice." He lifted her out of the drafting chair and set her on the floor. Then he collected some scratch paper and some pencils. "Practice." He and Fancy shared a smile as Dipper set to work.
Fancy was reading over the letters when she scrunched up her face. "Are you sure there are no hoofball players in your family?" She got up and headed for the bathroom. "I think one of them just tried to kick my bladder for a goal."
"You wanted foals," Klein said.
"Not three at once," Fancy said as she closed to door to the bathroom.
"She says it's all your fault," Dipper supplied.
"Wait until the delivery," Klein said, "She's going to blame me for Nightmare Moon before it's over."
Dipper giggled.
"I heard that," Fancy called from the bathroom.
Klein and Dipper giggled.
Discord arrived in the dead of winter as an airship. Not on an airship AS. Of course the weather report of snow, with occasional flurries of fresh fruit and ice cream sandwiches guaranteed a crowd was awaiting him, rather than panic in the streets. While the kids were munching fresh apples, oranges, plums, and other things they hadn't seen in months, three lines of guards, pies at the ready, let fly as a 21-pie salute. The three bands immediately struck up the Multicursal anthem, and two other pieces.
Discord shed happy tears as the cacophony grated on everyone. "I love you people!" he said.
The councillor went to the reviewing stand, he extracted a ream of paper and set it on the podium before him. Even Discord looked worried at the possibility of a speech longer and more droning that the usual Canterlot fare. Councillor Oleaginous waited for a few moments.
"I suspect you'd expect a silly, little speech like 'a few words' or something ridiculous. This is a solemn affair. While Discord has been feared by ponies, he has always been respected by minotaurs and griffons. And is welcome here. So, I will say the words everyone wishes to hear. Let's eat!"
The applause was muted only by the dash to the great hall, the councillor in the lead. Dipper took Discord's hand and led him after the throng.
"You must be Klein," Discord said.
"Well, if I must, I must, but I'd rather be John DeLancie, but who wouldn't?" Klein said, "Except maybe Sean Connery."
Discord blinked as he stared at Klein. He picked Dipper up. "Are you sure you're adopted?" He put her on his shoulders and seemed to slightly melt as she hugged him. "Not to be too forward, but where is Fancy?"
"Sitting in the hall. The triplets are slowing her down a bit," Klein said and laughed, "I don't know if I should be worried or thankful you had such a good idea of my tastes."
"The spell didn't work like that. What she becomes is based on your desires. I didn't know but I figured you did."
"Clever, let the customer influence the design."
"Triplets," Discord murmured, and turned to Dipper, "And how do you feel?"
"A big girl has to look after her brothers and sisters!" Dipper proudly proclaimed.
Discord raised an eyebrow at that, but headed towards the hall where a huge spread had been laid in.
The four of them sat in the small home near the factory. Discord walked around, looking at the diagrams for the garden, while Klein stoked the fire and Fancy lay on the couch, her pregnancy obvious to all.
"Twins, yes. Triplets, no." Fancy commented, "I'll be glad when I can see my rear legs again without lying on my back."
"I had very little to do with that," Discord said. "You did that yourselves." He smiled at the laughter. "Will you be able to do the dedication?"
"I can have someone use a wheelbarrow," Fancy said, "I should be able to. What do you think of the designs?"
"It that they are 'designed'," Discord said, "You're planning chaos. As much as I hate to admit it, true chaos allows for accidental harmony."
"So we just till the soil and toss the seedlings up in the air and let them fall where they may?" Klein asked, satisfied with the fire and turning to face Discord.
"Something like that would be better. More chaotic," he said carefully. He kept glancing nervously at Klein.
"I'm not going to toss you out because you disagree with me. It takes a good deal more than that to get under my skin," Klein said.
"It's not that. You told off Celestia," Discord said, "Anyone powerful enough to make it stick, would have the power to know what a bad idea that is. She doesn't take 'no' for an answer for very long."
"Most people don't hold the truth over her head like a Sword of Damocles. She depends on the illusion of her moral superiority and force of personality to cover the true conditions of her realm," Klein said, "The trick I used to get to Minotaura wouldn't fool most bouncers around here, let alone the police or military. Sure, she could deal with any invader with extreme prejudice, but then the mask would be off and the Tyrant Sun would eclipse Nightmare Moon."
"And Dear Celly would hate that worse than anything." Discord said, "I can imagine how she'd react to that little revelation getting around."
"And don't forget what it says about her beloved sister and wonderful student," Klein reminded him, "I'm aware it would be a kamikaze play for me, but it would be over for her."
"What's a ka-mee-kah-zay?" Dipper asked.
"A divine wind," Klein said, "Blows all your problems away."
"So why wouldn't you do that?" Dipper asked.
Klein ignored the snort from Fancy. "Because it also hits your friends and loved ones too. Knock down the local bully, fine. Knock down your mom, or Stone Blizzard?" He stared at Dipper.
"Not good. So you use it only when you have to," Dipper said.
Klein nodded.
No. No! NO! Fancy thought as she lay in their bed together.
"Teeth," she managed as Klein nibbled her.
Part of her was screaming for her to 'run a predator's eating you'. Another part was reveling in how good it felt. Leaving her twitching as fingers, lips, tongue and teeth set her quivering. Part of her knew she could do the same to him, and had. Pony lips could hold a pencil and write, her tongue could do things even his couldn't, and her flat teeth could drag along bits that no sane stallion would let a mare get her teeth on, but he loved it.
As her frenzied brain was screaming, she also worried that at the rate he was going, even a nightmare wouldn't wake her. They'd been much less since she'd become pregnant. As if the drum and bugle corps in her belly and their father stayed quiet if they slept close together. But with Discord here, the 'dear' Princess might come calling.
Got it handled, Discord mentally told her.
You're watching? she felt a creeping mortification.
Nothing I haven't seen before, but I will ask Sparkle about it, purely to verify her purpose for the summoning, or his escape.
She was starting to giggle when the wall hit and all she felt was light and air.
Since Fancy and Klein were sleeping in, for a host of reasons, Discord was out walking with Dipper as a light snow fell. Discord caught a few flakes and expanded them so Dipper could see the structures. "No two are alike. See how intricate they are?"
Dipper nodded. "They have to make them all by hand?" Dipper asked.
"Well, in Equestria they do. Here they form on their own," Discord admitted.
Dipper stared at him. "Are you teasing me? Why would they have to make something that just happens?"
Discord opened his mouth, but the obvious answer wouldn't come. "Ask your mother. I'm talking about snowflakes from around here."
Dipper rolled her eyes. "Every time I ask about Equestria, people say 'ask your mother'. Well, what if she's wrong?"
Discord was trying to figure out what to say when Dipper started digging through her saddlebags. "I've got a present for you."
"Me?" Discord asked.
She presented him with a small, wooden plaque. It was her studying, and Discord watching over her. The legend read 'My favorite teacher'.
"I know you're immortal and all, but I wanted you to know how much I liked the lessons you gave me while I was at Canterlot," she said, her hoof making little circles in the snow. "My mom and dad helped a little."
Discord grinned then bent down to hug the little filly. "Thank you." The stayed hugging each other for a bit. Then separated. "I haven't asked, but what would you want for a Solstice present?" Discord asked and grinned, "After all, I can do almost anything."
Discord nearly panicked as Dipper's enthusiasm at 'anything' vanished and her face fell, then she began to cry.
"I," Dipper said and tried to scrub away her tears, "I want you to make the bad pony hurting my daddy's dreams to stop!" she cried. "Sometimes he wakes up and he can't remember who we are, that we're a family. And he's scared of us!" Dipper wailed and held onto Discord. "I love my daddy, I don't want him scared of us ever!"
The expression that passed across the draconequus' face was ugly. Discord struggled and put on a happier expression before he picked up Dipper. "It's okay."
"That's all I want, that's all I want," Dipper said as she cried.
"You'll get it," Discord promised as he held the weeping filly, "You'll get it."
Luna stepped off into darkness. The dust under her hooves told her she was standing on a surface, but she needed just the smallest bit of light to see. There was none here. She wondered about that.
She lit her horn and saw the gray to silver dust everywhere to the limits of her vision. She looked up and saw no stars, nor a ceiling. She scuffed at the dust and watched it billow for a bit. Some feeling of wrongness tickled her brain, but she ignored it.
She walked a short distance, the dust puffing up at her tread and slowly falling. Then it hit her. She'd seen dust act like that in only one place. She turned and galloped back to the portal.
She found it not only closed, but gone. This can't happen, she thought as she circled where she'd entered this dream. This can't happen, I can travel . . . to any dream in Equestria. But this isn't Equestria!
She picked a direction and galloped as far and as fast as she could. She knew her wings would be useless without air to support them, and her growing fear prevented her from teleporting the vast distance she needed to cover to confirm or deny her mounting terror. The sharp boundary between light and dark gave her more proof of where she was, and the green, white and blue planet hanging over her confirmed it.
No, she thought as she gazed up at Equus, her home.
No, she thought as she gazed around at the moon, her prison.
NO! she thought of the endless days and weeks, and even centuries she would be here, not trapped within the moon as her sister had done, but on its surface, without even her millennium-long war with Nightmare to distract her. NO! she mentally screamed. Discord dropped a note with Celly's guards. 'If your sister keeps breaking your word, how is anybody supposed to trust either of you?'
He whistled a happy tune as he headed back to Multicursal and the festival. Fluttershy will understand, he thought, then decided to stop by the pegasus and assure her he was enjoying himself, And I can ask her some questions about Twilight, and teeth.
Klein and Discord walked the snowy streets. The last day of the Solstice Festival was going on, but Klein had decided to simply walk the streets rather than making merry. "Sorry, I thought both of us could use a break. This is a release from almost a month and a half of cabin fever for many of these people. They can get a little maniacal."
"Maniacal I can deal with," Discord said as he glanced around, "It's just that, I keep expecting the Elements to leap out, proclaim it's my fault people are running wild, and encase me in stone again." Discord grinned. "It's silly right?"
"Not necessarily," Klein said, "Come on." He took off at a jog to cross street and slowed to a walk as they passed between the houses. The snow fallen from the roofs had built up to man-high drifts on both sides of the street, although the path in the middle was wide enough for two carts to pass.
"It's not unusual to feel a little 'the ponies are out to get me'. But you'll get over it. Believe me, I felt exactly that way when Fancy showed up on my doorstep. I got over it, so will you," Klein said, "That's not to say that people aren't out to get you."
Almost on cue, the barrage began. Like two batteries of rocket launchers, dozens of snowballs arced high and came down. Discord conjured a few snowballs and lobbed them back. But the barrage teams on both sides of the street had raced along the trenches they'd dug in the rear side of the snow berm to their next cache to barrage their targets. Spotters in windows told the teams where their targets were moving to, and another barrage nearly caught them as Klein had walked slowly, then sprinted before either barrage could be launched. Discord had repeatedly tried to conjure bigger and bigger snowballs to suppress fire, but he eventually took up Klein's walk-run movement, tricking them into less accurate shots.
"Try again next year!" Klein called at the end of the street, out of range. A more snow-covered Discord joined him. "Feeling the paranoia a bit more justified? There's a couple more streets like that. Give those kids some boulders or riprap and some Molotov cocktails, and they could hold off the German Sixth Army."
"Unusual therapy," Discord admitted as the brushed the snow off him, "And thank you, but no. I think I'm just about ready to go back to the partying. I see that you and Fancy, well, are more comfortable with each other."
"We became that way" Klein said and stared at the sky, "With the ring, and Fancy's declaration, we started. After a while we were at it like a couple of minks in heat. Dipper complained about going to bed and to sleep on time, while we'd spend the whole night 'wrestling'. Fortunately, the soundproofing of the room was good. Then Fancy went to the doctor for some bladder trouble, and she discovered it wasn't her bladder. We didn't know what effect the ring would have on the developing fetuses, so we stopped using the ring. But you don't just go from twice a day and thrice on Saturday to dead stop, so we both decided to try to see if anything we'd done together translated over."
Discord nodded.
"You must be enjoying this immensely," Klein said.
"Mou?" the paragon of innocence asked. He even burnished his halo for that special 'ting'.
"Oui vous," Klein replied, "Fancy told me about the rumors swirling around me and the princesses. You obviously know about my home, and some details. So you can toss enough facts into your wild speculation to make it uncomfortable. I've got one for you to drop in the mix. Assuming you haven't picked up on Luna breaking the accord I had with her sister, which would make it two not one. It's clear Luna never meant to honor it."
"I know," Discord said, "But can you spice it up?"
"Sure, my nightmares get worse for weeks after each incursion. You could say she's trying to drive me insane so I'll either hurt Dipper and Fancy, or . . .."
Discord looked shocked, then angry. He nodded, understanding what Klein implied but wasn't going to accuse.
Klein briefly considered mentioning, Or when my people find the first nut's equipment, I'll be in no condition to testify. If he looks up the Geneva convention on kidnaping civilians for espionage purposes, and how that redounds on the leader of a country, that would really give Celestia pause. But it would encourage the other princesses to off me, so keep that to myself.
"It certainly calls into question whether Her Majesty can really claim to make treaties that will bind her sister," Klein said.
"And if she's looking in other leaders' heads," Discord said as he stopped and stared into space. "Oh, that is special." Discord giggled and danced. "This is the second best Solstice present anyone's ever given me."
"Well, the real one is also special. Beyond Luna breaking Celestia's word, but back on the subject of looking in leaders' heads, what's to say she isn't doing what they did to me. Putting things in, or taking them out. Maybe the locals are more resistant to the effect, but if Luna can affect me that way, she can affect the leaders of other nations, or even other ponies that way. And how can they stop her? The ultimate weapon of espionage and terror, and at Celestia's beck and call, or operated despite her word before a crowd of international witnesses."
"Well, you don't have much to worry about in that regard anymore," Discord said, "I asked Dipper what she wanted for the Solstice, and she asked to 'keep the bad pony from giving my daddy nightmares.' From now on, every time Luna intrudes on your dreams, without your permission. She gets a thousand years alone on the moon. If asking politely doesn't work, a big enough stick just might."
"Thank you," Klein said, "It's been a strain, waking up, as if it had all happened yesterday, and getting charged by a pair of happy unicorns who don't know I don't know them, but I'm sure I should. Reality rushes back in, but only after the damage is done. Believe me, Equestria has made no friends with that little game."
"Oh, I think I know what you're talking about," Discord assured him.
Drawn With the Night Into the Day
Drawn With the Night Into the Day - Conclusion
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Unicorn Filly - Marble Ginger
Dipper sighed. She looked at her idiot brother walking across the ceiling. The sitter was completely inexperienced, but Dipper was sure she could handle it alone for a little while. She looked up at 'Thunder Child' then back at Marble Ginger, and finally at Rivet Joint. "I'm outnumbered," she commented as she remembered Discord's most important lesson. Watch what's really happening, understand it, so you can do it yourself, she thought, and applied the lesson. She saw the warp and woof of her brother's instinctive magic, and she could cast a similar real spell.
She tentatively put her hoof on the wall, and pulled herself up. Within a few moments, she had taken off after her little brother. He giggled and put on a burst of speed and raced for the wall.
Again, she watched the structure of his magic, and cast a spell duplicating it, letting her chase the idiot through the wall. She found him, on the floor, chewing the ears of her Discord stuffed animal. She collected him, and raced back to put him atop the playpen, so she'd have a few moments to get their breakfasts. Rivet Joint was 'watching' the pot of water Dipper had turned the heat off of when she'd taken off across the ceiling after her brother, Thunder Evening.
Typical of her 'helpful' nature, the water was merrily boiling, despite the stove being off. "Baa," Rivet Joint said proudly, and flew back to her sister, Marble Ginger. The two of them glared at the griffin filly 'trapped' in the overturned playpen. Dive Blossom's older sister had understood her job was to let the two girls glare at her, and report 'Thunder Child's' position and activities to Dipper, to assist with changing the kids, but otherwise provide a distraction for Marble Ginger and usually Rivet Joint. Dive Blossom was only providing the latter, although doing it gave Dipper enough clearance that she could deal with everything else herself.
She turned the stove back on and got the oatmeal cooking. She set out three sets of diapers on the changing table for when they'd be needed, then returned to the kitchen. The trio were still keeping an eye on the 'caged' griffon. Although 'Thunder Child' was standing on the top of the overturned playpen and looking over the edge at the bewildered griffon.
Then the trio all pivoted as one to look at the door, and began babbling excitedly. Dipper shut off the stove and headed off to beat her siblings to the door. She didn't open it until she'd verified she wasn't about to clobber any of them with it.
The door opened and hope rebloomed. "Merry! Discord!" she shouted as she saw her two favorite teachers in the entryway.
Both of them looked at her worriedly as they entered. "Hectic day?" Discord asked as he picked her up and nuzzled her.
"New babysitter," Dipper whispered, then added in a normal voice, "And mom's got three more on the way. I'm really gonna be outnumbered then."
"You'll manage," Merry said as the trio surrounded her. She hung up her tweed coat and set her umbrella aside. She left her hat on.
Dive Blossom crawled out of the playpen, turning it right-side-up. "Ah, do you need me anymore?" she asked worriedly.
Dipper collected the envelope from the drawer. "No you're free, thank you." She'd briefly entertained the idea of holding off the 'tip', but decided that she'd talk to her parents and put Dive on the 'do not call' list.
Once the griffon was gone, at a dead run no less, Discord dissolved the spell which revealed the missing horns and wings of the trio. Freed from their confines, all three flew around Merry chirping and chattering like happy birds. Merry smiled serenely but with real joy.
No one had ever explained to Dipper what a Poppins was or were, but Merry certainly lived up to the first part of her name. Dipper could never understand why Merry didn't have a special somepony, or five. Although Discord had sternly warned Dipper to never bring that or her family up to Merry, or in her hearing, which was extraordinarily acute. It was the closest to a scolding Discord had ever given her. But the question still nagged. She sometimes wondered if Merry had taken the job as thrice-a-week tutor in hopes that Dipper's parents were 'open-minded'. She would have liked Merry as part of the family. Despite how huge she was, she was nice, and enjoyed the hugs and cuddles of the trio, and even of Dipper and her mom. But she was very frightened of dad, despite him being very cordial, even jovial with her.
I'm not stupid, she thought, It's not that she's so big, that she intimidates others. It's because she and dad slept together before he met mom, and no foals. So everypony else figures she's barren. But she likes both dad and mom, so why don't they just bring her in? Dipper put the thought aside for later, private discussions with the grownups.
"So, they left you here with inadequate help?" Discord asked.
"You deal with it," she replied, "But I am glad you two showed up." She hugged Discord again, missing the look between 'Merry Poppins' and Discord.
"So what has your parents so busy?" Merry asked as she pulled the lesson books from the bookcase.
"New toy they're working out with Prince Blueblood. It should be an even bigger seller than Tinkers' Toys," Dipper said proudly, "And I got to 'play-test' them." She glanced at her siblings. "They are even building a set too big for foals to get in their mouths and swallow that work with the smaller blocks for colts and fillies." She suddenly remembered and dashed to her room to get what she'd made. As she dashed back, she caught Merry's disapproving gaze. "I know, no running in the house." She turned to Discord. "They'll be talking with the Princesses about special sets, but I built this of you."
The collection of brightly colored rectangular solids did look a lot like Discord, except for the color. Then they matched perfectly.
"I like it. They shouldn't try color matching, at least with me," Discord said, then winced at Merry's gentle cough. "Dipper, thank you very much."
"Your welcome," Dipper said and hugged him.
"Dipper, honey, sorry the meeting ran late," her dad said as he entered and took off his coat and hat. He braced himself for Dipper's charge, and hugged his daughter. Dipper caught the wistful look from Merry, but concentrated on her dad.
"So?" she asked.
"You sound like your mother," her dad replied, "Blueblood should have the first sets out in two months. He'll have the 'princess sets' out in time for the Grand Galloping Gala, since their Highnesses didn't say 'no', he took that as a 'yes'."
Dipper's reply was interrupted by Merry's frantic coughing. Discord looked worriedly at her and conjured a chocolate milk for her. She got the cough under control and drank the glass, leaving the chunk of chocolate milk in her hoof.
"I'm getting predicable," Discord lamented.
"That thing explodes, I'm going to have that printed on every Discord set that we make," dad said.
Discord nodded. Merry drank the chocolate milk. "I thought their Highnesses refused the funds to upgrade his factories," Merry said, "I know his family won't front him the money."
"He sold stock," dad said as he moved over to the table where the lessons would be held. Dipper never quite understood why dad sat in on most of the lessons. Explaining he hadn't gotten much Equestrian studies really didn't explain things. "Hundreds of ponies bought a part of the cost, for a part of the profits. Twenty bits for the chance of one to three bits a year for several years, or they can sell it. Spreads out the risk, and the reward. No more begging the crown for money. It also means the crown won't have the power of the purse to control innovation. If they disapprove, they won't be able to simply deny funds to stop it. It also undermines the power of the court, if a group of ponies want to get something done, they can assemble the funds themselves and get oversight from the local authorities. They don't have to go to Canterlot, bow and scrape to every minor functionary to get on the docket, get a copy for one of the princesses to review, and gain a favorable buzz about the idea amid the court to influence the princesses to approve."
"Surely it's not like that." Merry suddenly looked worried. Then Dipper looked at her dad's grin. There were bears who'd run away from that grin. Dipper started laughing.
"You're doing it again!" she accused and watched her father's innocent expression appear like a cloudless sky after a blizzard.
"What specifically?" he asked.
"Enjoying weirding people out," Dipper said, "You enjoy shocking people."
"Well, I have to keep up with your friends," her dad said as he leaned close and rubbed his nose on hers.
She growled, but she hugged him. She had one for him, at dinner when mom was there too.
"Oh, Discord. After Merry's lesson, but well before dinner, you can teach Dipper how to make birds."
"Really!?" Dipper and Discord chorused with matching mad smiles.
"Just remember, she isn't strong enough to make real ones, but you can teach her to make those 'lights and shadows' versions," he said, then leaned over to Dipper. "Just remember not to bother your other teacher with them during her lessons."
Dipper hugged her father. Discord said 'thank you', and Merry rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Okay, poetry," Dipper said. It was one of her favorites, playing with words and sounds.
They settled down to study, while Discord played with the three, little alicorns.
Her siblings asleep in bed, the group sat down to lunch. Dad had cooked another weird thing, that turned out to be surprisingly good. "Why aren't these called tomato worms again?" Dipper asked the long noodles with the tomato-based sauce and cheese on them.
"Because they are called spaghetti," her dad said as he set the garlic bread on the table beside the salad, "It means string, not worms."
"Still looks like we're eating worms," she said, "I don't need to get into the head of a bird to make them."
"I'll have yours," Merry said as she looked at the dish of noodles, tomato sauce, mushrooms and cheese.
Dipper put a foreleg around her dish. "I didn't say I wasn't going to eat them, I just said they looked weird."
"Would you like them to be worms?" Discord asked.
"You do that you aren't getting any," dad said and grinned at him, holding the plate.
"Just a question," Discord said and smiled innocently. Dad put the plate down in front of Discord and returned to get his own.
"Are you feeling all right?" Merry asked mom as she squirmed in her chair.
"They aren't crushing my bladder like the first trio," mom said, "But they seem a bit more active." She glanced at dad. "I think I'm going to have you fixed."
"You said you wanted a big family," he said as he sat down at the table, "Now you'll have one and still be young enough to enjoy it."
Dipper caught Merry giving Discord a raised eyebrow. Discord sheepishly shook his head slightly.
As everyone dug in, and thoroughly enjoyed dad's cooking, Dipper decided now was the time. "So why aren't you going to invite Merry to join our family and marry her?"
The sudden silence from all the adults merely highlighted Discord's fork on the plate as he happily ate.
"Look I can see how uncomfortable you two are when you realize you hugged and stuff, but mom treats her like a sister. And I know ponies sometimes have a couple of wives, or husbands, and some are really complicated," she said, "So why don't you all just admit you all love each other instead of all the dancing around?"
The three looked at each other worriedly.
"Because she's under a curse. If she's ever truly happy, she'll die," Discord said as he ate.
Dipper stared at him in horror.
Discord gestured and the pots delivered another helping while he explained. "So she can love being hugged and cuddled by Ginger, Evening and Rivet. She can love playing games and teaching you magic. She can enjoy meals and friendly arguments with your folks, but in the end, she has to go home. She gets to be ecstatically happy, with the little, constant reminder that it's all an illusion. She can think of herself as part of your family, but she can't really be part. That little misery is enough to hold the curse off."
"Well do something!" Dipper said.
"That's not exactly true," Merry said.
"It's oversimplified, but how is it wrong?" Discord stared at Merry and asked, "She's right, you want to be here, they want you here, because they are your friends and they wouldn't really object to being more. Not because of money changing hooves, or knowledge or anything else. Have you got any real friends at home? People who listen to you, try to learn, and try to teach in return? People, adults, you can cuddle with and be cuddled in return? You go home to your pet bird, that pack of self-assured squabblers, and what? Remember your hopes and dreams? Or do you remember that Dipper is learning the lessons better than your sister ever has? That your other three students here as bare children have learned what you've been trying to teach your whole life? That you are learning from them what you never understood how to do yourself?" Discord leaned towards Merry. "This is your refuge from all of that. Even if you could only be here a few nights a week, Dipper is right. You'd be welcomed. And maybe there's one more thing that could be accomplished. If Fancy's experience is a guide."
Merry looked worried, then blushed and looked away.
"The troubles of the past are absolved and set aside, because you apologized, offered the requested restitution and were forgiven. How did that feel? It's a potent tonic, isn't it? Princess Celestia made Fluttershy give it to me. It hurt to think of losing that. And you took a dose yourself. Why do the others avoid the medicine that you survived?" Discord sat back and glanced at Dipper. "Yes, I brought her here and talked your dad into accepting her as your tutor because she needed to learn the things you, and he, and Fancy knew in your bones. But she has to leave and come back, or her life is essentially over. Not exactly dying, you keep moving, but there's nothing left but the pain and the regrets. And that hurts worse that just dying ever could."
"I don't understand," Dipper said tearfully, "Why can't you fix it? You can do anything!?" She looked at her parents. "You've figured out stuff no one ever figured out before, can't you help her?"
Merry gathered the teary, distraught filly into a hug. "There, there."
"It's not fair! It's not fair!" Dipper sobbed as Merry held and nuzzled her, her own tears flowing freely. Discord scratched Dipper behind the ears.
"Discord said it was more complicated, and it is," Merry said, "And it's wonderful, you're wonderful for offering. But I can't accept."
"Why? Why? Why?!" Dipper sobbed as she clung to the larger mare.
"Because it's something I have to do. Something I owe to people, because I promised. The promise was important, and people will get hurt if I don't keep it. Grownups have to do things they don't like to look after others. Like you look after your brother and sisters, when you'd rather be out playing. Your mom and dad would like to be here with you and them, but the people at the factory depend on them, you depend on them, and even I depend on them. I'm sorry it's so complicated, but that's the grown-up world."
"I don't wanna grow up!" Dipper said as she snuggled against Merry, not seeing the joy on the mare's face.
"I'm afraid you already have," her dad said, "By asking us to add Merry to the family. We would, if all of us could."
Dipper lifted her head. "Discord?"
"Yes, I could make it happen. Force it. But that's not what you want," he said not pausing in his scratching. "You made the offer," he said, "That counts for a lot. But it won't work right now."
"It's not fair," Dipper said as she hugged Merry tightly.
'Merry' and Discord walked down the streets of Multicursal, the first signs of the short spring were here. "You could do it," Discord said, "A couple of nights a week. Let yourself be taken by them, leave yourself vulnerable and at their mercy. Isn't that how mares used to surrender to stallions and their mares in the old days?"
"You make it sound like a war," Merry said, feeling her unseen wings and horn ache at the thought.
"Fancy's teeth and tongue on your horn, raising your tail for Klein. Having lips and teeth and fingers preening your wings for more than just keeping them pretty. The ring I gave to Fancy will probably work on you. You'll find . . . what?" he asked as 'Merry' squirmed.
"You know very well what!" she told him as she resettled her coat and hat over herself.
"Of course I know, so does Klein, so does Fancy, Tirek's Beard even Dipper practically knows and she's too young to really know," Discord said angrily, "It's what you want too, and yet, nothing. You think I was joking saying you were cursed? Two, maybe just one night a week: cuddling with two people who see you are just a lonely, friendly mare, and waking up to a pack of people who love you. And you throw that all away, why, because it isn't dignified? Because you're guilty about what your sister and student did?" Discord stepped in front of 'Merry' to force her to halt and look at him. "Because deep down you don't deserve it?"
'Merry' looked away from him, blushing furiously and rustling her concealed wings.
"This can't be that you're embarrassed that Dipper will find out you've been trading magic lessons for parenting lessons?"
'Merry' glared at him. "It isn't!"
"Isn't it?" Discord asked, "What has Equestria gained since this started? Twilight learned the lesson, rather brutally, at the hands of her friends. You're learning how to be a parent at the hands and hooves of Luna's former victims. With the lessons, you are already applying the practices so it's not older sister/younger sister, but parent/child, and she's showing far less resistance. In a few years, she may even grow up enough to apologize for the whole thing. So what is holding you back? There's an embassy within a short dash. Once there, it's off to Canterlot. So what is it?"
"You're right," she said quietly, "I don't deserve it. I don't deserve their forgiveness, or their love."
"Well, guess what? Forgiveness is for the giver, not the receiver," Discord said, "And big surprise, the world isn't fair. You found people willing to be friends with you, personally, who couldn't care less who you are to everyone else. Congratulations, choking down part of your pride paid real dividends. Now put aside your 'I am not worthy', which is just misplaced pride too, and accept the rest."
'Merry' looked at him with fury in her eyes, pawing the ground as if ready to charge, but Discord regarded her coolly. Finally, she looked away.
"Fine, let's keep it G-rated," Discord said, "And make this about your martyrdom, imagine how it feels: a soft, feathered wing as comforter and a warm, fuzzy form on these long, cold Multicursal nights. Maybe you shouldn't have played 'tough mare' but scared mare, had him comfort you sleeping under your wing when you were in that cell. That really would have driven the lesson home."
"There was still a chance that Luna and Twilight were right. I chose to take the middle ground," 'Merry' replied.
"It wasn't that he stank? You should have had a bath ready, kept glancing at the guards out of worry and played it to the hilt the second night," Discord said, "That's your real problem. You keep applying the 'Golden Mean Fallacy' to everything. The middle is the most reasonable place to be. If you want to really be alive, you take occasional risks. That was my problem. As entertaining as I was, I never ran the risk that others living their lives could be equally entertaining. Until things began to pall and I upped the ante until you and Luna intervened. If I'd stepped back and let the people around me go through their lives with just a smidge of chaos to make things interesting, I wouldn't have had to do anything else."
"Make ponies' lives harder?" 'Merry' asked.
"Harder, easier, different. That's the key. Think about it. Joining their family doesn't mean being there every minute of every day. It means that you have someplace to retreat to. 'Home is where they have to take you in.' Besides, do you know what soft fur feels like against bare skin? Woo!" Discord giggled as 'Merry' frowned at him.
Finally, she looked away. "You kept up with the 'banishment'?" 'Merry' asked.
Discord sighed and shook his head. "I got bored with it," Discord admitted.
As I knew you would, 'Merry' thought, It stopped being fun, and you wanted her to learn her lesson. Your 'vengeance' on me was to teach her what I taught you.
"I turned her little empire into a tourist attraction. Lots of ponies tramping around, taking pictures, selling overpriced and attraction-themed muffins, calling her an employee in a costume, foals barfing all over the moon-dust for being overexcited and eating too many sweets, all that jazz, or actually, elevator music."
'Merry' snorted. "I think she would prefer solitude, after a few months of that."
"Two weeks. So I gave it to her. Left her a note that I'd check back in a month. When I did, she was desperate for a change, to talk with ponies again. But she didn't ask me to stop, or what she had to do to make it stop."
I know where this is going. Merry frowned but nodded. "I shouldn't be enjoying this, but what happened?"
"During the 'day', she had a job as a customer service representative at the Department of Carts and Wagons, their busiest branch in Manehatten, and went home at 'night' to her empty moonscape," Discord said.
"How long did it take her to realize she was working through the day, dragging herself 'home' and ignoring her 'beautiful night'?" 'Merry' asked.
Discord looked quizzically at 'Merry'. "How did you know? Never mind. After she was promoted to Senior Executive Assistant to the Junior Assistant, she woke out of a sound sleep in the dream, and had a complete freak out. She'd realized she hadn't looked at a night sky in six months." Discord turned red, then orange, then yellow and smoke started billowing out of his ears. "All right, all right, you win! How'd you know?"
"She ran around one morning shouting 'I figured it out', she apologized too, to everyone she could reach, and kept shouting 'I've figured it out!' She was fine by lunch, but refused to explain, and the apologies stopped. But I figured it out too. Unfortunately, she didn't ask to apologize to Klein, or even Fancy or Dipper."
"She hadn't really absorbed the lesson. She asked for a change back to the barren moonscape and I left it that way for almost ten years by her perspective," Discord said, "It was incredibly boring, because she just sat there staring at her shadow."
"But you left her there?" 'Merry' asked, "Why?"
Discord shrugged. "It seemed the right thing to do. When I had my epiphany, I didn't want to be alone, and no one abandoned me. I thought it best to give her what she politely asked for, in hopes she'd realize she could politely ask for me to stop." He looked at her. "And what about you? Have you forgiven yourself? It's not like it's your fault what happened."
'Merry' bowed her head and pawed the ground. "Isn't it? Who else taught them? Twilight finally found wisdom from her friends in Ponyville, but all I tried to teach her, all I managed was to have her put me on a pedestal."
"And none shall pass to remove her therefrom!" Discord squeaked and waved a wooden sword in the air. "It ever occur to you that letting her see you screw up occasionally while she grew up might have been a good idea?"
"Like imprisoning you?" 'Merry' asked.
"Too ancient," Discord said, rubbing his chin, "Unless you're referring to Luna. Admittedly, it was the only option you had open. You were young, naive, and inexperienced. Using a hammer on a mole looked like a good idea at the time. But not learning any new tricks came back to bite you. When you had no choice but to turn that hammer on your own sister, when stripping away some of her naivete might have done both of you some good. If you were planning on being rulers. But Dipper can do things her dad can't. He's firmly on a pedestal, but she knows that she can do things he can't. It's what really is important in a parent: The child becomes greater than they are or grows in unexpectedly wonderful ways."
"I can only hope," 'Merry' said.
Luna glared at Celestia as she arrived for dinner. "I have just realized how much you truly hate me."
"How so?" Celestia asked in real concern.
"The Committee for the Beautification of the Appleoosan Desert wants Crown Funds to paint every rock 'more attractive colors', and Chief Thunderhooves actually thought he needed to send a delegation to assure we understood their strong reluctance to allow such a thing," Luna said, "Do they truly believe that the Equestrian Crown is THAT stupid?"
"Considering that we authorized the settlement of Appleoosa, by members of the Apple family, and didn't consider that they would try to turn every piece of flat ground in all directions into apple orchards," Celestia said, "Yes, they do. And not without justification."
"The land grant didn't allow that," Luna replied.
"But it didn't forbid it either, and it should have," Celestia said as she seated herself and looked over the repast.
I'm really in the mood for more spaghetti, she thought as sighed, But Celestia is a good mare, she always eats what's put in front of her and thanks the cooks for their efforts. A plain bowl of oatmeal would be nice. But my meals like my schedule are planned weeks in advance. She sighed again.
"What are you sighing about?" Luna asked, "I apologize, my irritation isn't with you."
"So, I can't convince you to take over completely and let me take a vaca - " Celestia asked, then wiped the coffee from her face. "I'll take that as a no."
Luna had covered her mouth with a napkin and was looking at Celestia with utter horror.
Celestia grinned. "Gotcha!"
"Some things should not be joked about," Luna said sternly, "After this day, I am actually craving the enforced boredom of Discord's 'punishment'. I thought solitude was punishment, until I had no choice but to deal with these . . . subjects, for hours on end. How do you prevent a massacre?"
"By remembering the crown is responsible, and trusted, because they can bring their troubles to our hooves for a reasonable hearing," Celestia said, "Trust is everything. If our ponies decided they no longer trusted us, what would you suggest we do if they all packed up and moved to Minotaura or Griffonstan? Build a fence to keep them in?"
Luna looked at the elaborate food on her plate, and pushed it around with her fork. "No, but why does everything have to be our problem?"
"You want to be in charge, then everything is your fault, even when you had nothing to do with it. If you want authority, you have to take responsibility, and then keep in mind that authority is held in trust for a time, but the responsibility clings to you like a tick for the rest of your life."
"You make the prospect sound incredibly daunting," Luna said.
"Now you understood why I couldn't understand your jealousy. I would have loved to throw it all to someone else and walk away. That I didn't understand you didn't understand that was my fault, not yours."
"I failed to talk to you," Luna admitted, "Or to attend enough court to realize the price you daily paid for the 'adulation' they showered you with. I now understand the one was not worth the other."
Celestia nodded. "Do you want to turn in and let me handle the night court?"
"NO!" Luna exclaimed as she stood suddenly. She looked around nervously, then at Celestia's shocked expression. "Sorry, tonight is the astronomical society, it's the one court function I really enjoy, even with the arguments. I only have to be the sergeant at arms, not the moderator."
"All right," Celestia said and laughed, "Enjoy."
Celestia woke from her sleep, or thought that she had. Then she realized how little she was. She was in the middle of rolling fields with a few scattered copses of trees. And she was covered in what she dearly hoped was mud. "DISCORD!" she shouted, sounding like 'the chipmunk' version.
"Oh hush you," Fancy said, as Dipper and Klein hauled a washtub between them. The mare tousled Celestia's mane. "Just enjoy it," Fancy said, "Consider it a vacation."
"Like taking leave of my senses," Celestia said, noting her pink, normal hair, rather than rainbow, ethereal mane and tail.
"Oh pooh," Fancy said, "When was the last time you let go and really had fun?"
Celestia frowned. "There was Cadence's wedding, I had fun at the Equestria Games, I had fun with all of Twilight's friends after the Grand Galloping Gala."
"Oh, and you got drunk and danced with a lampshade at the wedding did you, you whooped and hollered at the Equestria Games like a real fan, and you told embarrassing stories about Twilight and she did the same to you? I said 'let go and really had fun'. When in any of those did you let go? The last time you were undignified, was when someone with an explosive vest blew himself up and took part of your castle with him. And that fails the whole 'fun' part.". Fancy considered. "Or may be it doesn't."
Celestia snorted at that.
"Okay, let's get you cleaned up," Fancy said as her horn glowed and Celestia felt herself being picked up and set in the warm, sudsy water. Then they started scrubbing. Not the gentle, oh-she-might-break, 'put on her wing covers so they don't get wet' washing she got that made her pretty, but a cleansing by caring parents trying to get the muddy foal clean right down to the skin. It felt wonderful. All protest stopped and she just accepted and luxuriated in the hands and hooves of people who cared about her, and not the princess.
'I'm serving Celestia, not the princess', Celestia thought as she nearly fell asleep under the gentle motions, and the realization she wasn't immediately going to be buried under a pile of 'clean' dirt in the form of lotions and polishes and powders applied to her the moment she was even slightly clean. She noted with some amusement that Fancy cleaned her more intimate areas while Klein stayed away. But what he did with her wings may have made them unusable for flight for a while, but he got down to the roots of all her feathers and she felt completely clean for the first time in ages.
It didn't last, she didn't let herself soak in that warm and now dirty water. They lifted her out to rinse her off, then set her amid a pile of towels. Even Dipper got into the act of drying her off. She was as gentle as her parents, but she was washing a kid, not offering service to the Princess of Equestria.
"You know, I never blamed you for what Luna did to my daddy," Dipper said as she carefully dried Celestia's mane.
Celestia cringed at that.
"I can imagine you wanting to hide from her at our house," Dipper continued. She peered at the three adults who snorted at that. "But I can see why you didn't tell me. Fewer who know a secret, fewer can let it go. And I still think you and dad and mom would make a nice group."
Celestia blushed at that.
"But no matter what, there's one thing you can never change," Dipper said earnestly, "Not if you quit being princess. Not if you let someone else raise the sun. Not if you live a million years."
Celestia looked at her, searching her face for some clue. "What's that?" Celestia asked.
Dipper booped her on the nose. "You're it." She took off at a dead run across the rolling fields.
"ARGH!" Celestia exploded out of the towels and raced after the filly. But Dipper's longer legs and more recent experience dealing with three, little alicorns gave her the advantage.
The tub was larger this time, and it needed to be, because neither Fancy nor Klein was going to get near the splash fight going on between the two fillies in it.
"HEY!" Dipper complained as Klein dumped a bucket of warm water over her head.
"Your splashing-fu is weak grasshopper," Klein said and quickly got out of range.
Celestia didn't understand it, but she suddenly burst in tears. Dipper didn't understand, but hugged her anyway. Klein and Fancy headed over and joined in. Without meaning to, she got them all soaking wet from hugging her. She couldn't stop sobbing.
The part of her that was always 'above it all' realized she was crying because she was being forgiven, for what had been done to this family in her name. That they really did not care about it anymore. That they didn't hold all her failures over her head, that they didn't care about or honor the pillar of all Equestrian Society, but welcomed the frightened, uncertain mare who was in so many ways not so different from the filly who stood up to evil while others ran in terror. Because someone had to.
The mare who failed in the end. And had to wait a thousand years to win by proxy.
They recognized all the flaws, and loved her anyway. They made a place for her in their home and in their lives because someone had to.
They were all dry, and Celestia had stopped needing to cry. She was snuggled up against Fancy while the mare played the guitar. Klein sang a song that Celestia supposed embodied the strength that let him stand when so many others fell. The song repeated the advice 'Learn to be still.' She knew she was very guilty of 'following the wrong gods home.'
"The Eagles, Learn to Be Still ," Klein said.
"I somehow I guessed the title," Celestia said, "Good advice. Maybe I should take it. It seems to have served you well."
"There's some wisdom in charging ahead when it seems irrational." He sat down and began scratching Fancy behind the ears. From her expression and ears swivelled forward, she not only loved the feeling, but trusted the one who was doing it implicitly.
"The same artists also did a song stating they'd like to find a complainer's inner child and kick its ass," Klein said, "The dichotomy was one reason I liked them."
"I never heard them," Dipper said.
"Way before your time," Klein said, "They broke up a quarter-century before you were born."
"Wow, that's ancient," Dipper said.
Th three adults rolled their eyes.
"What?" Dipper asked.
"I have to ask," Celestia said, "Why?"
"Because you found the one weakness in his armor," Fancy said, "You showed up on his doorstep, ready for him to toss you out, like everyone else had, and asked him to help you. I'm not sure if Luna or Twilight could do that, but as you know, others have."
"I think Twilight might try. Luna, maybe in fifty years," Celestia said. She looked at Klein and Fancy. "Is that why you hid your foals' identity?"
"Yes. Let them grow up without everyone 'grooming them' for their eventual role. Because here, they can have any role they want," Klein said.
"Except babysitter," Dipper said and frowned, "After the next three are born, they'll be too young to help, until they're too old to need it."
"What about the three after that?" Klein asked.
"Don't you dare!" Fancy said and waved the guitar at him, "Seven is quite enough." Then she bumped Celestia. "Besides, there's somepony else."
"What, I could never, it's that, who could -!" Celestia stammered, looking at the laughing faces, "I could?" She felt like begging to be let in, to feel like this, just a little while.
"Yes," Fancy said and nodded to Klein.
Celestia felt her heart in her throat as he considered. She expected, would understand completely, a rejection. It's taking so long, she thought, He's trying to be diplomatic about it.
"No," he said.
Celestia felt crushed. But I understand, she thought and felt her tears welling up.
"Not Princess Celestia, it would cause too many problem, for all sides."
"I understand," Celestia said, as the last ember of hope died out.
"But Merry Poppins has been offered, and as I recall, she said 'no', maybe you should get her to reconsider," Klein said.
A cheering Dipper immediately tackled Klein, while Fancy did the same to Celestia. Both crying and laughing.
"What happens when you get her pregnant?" Dipper asked.
Celestia nearly choked as Klein and Fancy began laughing.
Author's Note
I may do a later chapter of Dipper as a babysitter, but I won't promise anything.
Drawn With the Night Into the Day
Drawn With the Night Into the Day - Conflagration
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
"All right, the roads and aqueducts are going well."
The hundreds of ponies nodded at the wisdom of their princess.
"They'll really be something if we ever get any carts or water. The Libraries are merely waiting on books, and therefore paper and ink, but I can assure you those are high on my list of priorities. Along with everything else. Suffice it to say that in the eight years I have been your leader, I have never -"
'Wakey, wakey.'
And Luna was yanked out of the moonscape, but slowly enough that she saw the thousands of pony-shaped, dust golems fade into the lunar soil from which they'd been raised. "Buffalo Brownies!" she growled as she found herself back in the throne-room in Canterlot.
Facing Discord.
Everything fell into place. "You did this to me!" she shouted as she stood. "You dare! You will be punished for this offense against the crown! You will be encased in stone and hidden in the deepest caverns to never see the light of day again!"
When Discord wiped the spittle from his face, Luna wiped the foam from her lips. "You do this then dare show your face to me?"
"I think Celestia will be quite interested in your nocturnal activities, of the last few days, and the last few months. Especially since the toy fair."
Luna shied at that and shook her head.
"And to be perfectly honest, I did nothing to you. I set a barrier around a geographical location, the man has suffered enough. It is hardly my fault you blundered into it being where you had no business being," Discord said calmly, "Your sentence there, is a thousand years. I needed to tell you that, so you won't despair that there is no escape. I also made sure you could wake from the dream. After all, the real fun is watching you walk around all day knowing that when sleep comes, so does 985 more years of unrelenting dread. When sleep stops being a rest from the pressures of the day, but a ravenous enemy you cannot escape. And you can feel your sanity drifting away as sleep nibbles bites of it away, day by day, night by night. Then you might understand and ask for pity from your tormentor. Which I will grant, I'm not you. Since you have no decency, and possess no empathy, I had to make you understand in a way your petty, narcissistic, little brain could comprehend. And give you a 'get out of jail free' card your pride would never let you use. Let's go see dear Celestia, see what she says about your terrifying a foal who has the bad luck to love an innocent you are eager to destroy. I'll let you plead your case to her first, just to be extra-specially fair. Do you really think she'll appreciate what you've been doing?"
Luna paled and drew back, then rallied. "What? Have you become the defender of the downtrodden?" Luna laughed, "This is just another game for you to play and grow tired of. You aren't championing them, you just need a reason to harass your first jailers."
She'd expected him to lash out. He looked at her coldly and replied civilly, without raising his voice. "Perhaps. But if you wish to justify your actions by saying 'I'm better than Discord' you deserve neither that throne, nor the powers you have. Nightmare Moon could arguably make the same claim, but she didn't demand that people love her for her scourgings." Discord walked away as the first light of the day began filtering into the throne room.
Luna dragged herself after the draconequus. Her nightlong nightmares of the past few days had left her groggy and unfocused. Not the best frame of mind to argue from, she thought as she followed.
Celestia was understandably concerned about Discord's presence and his humorless mien. Luna took a few moments to properly set the moon, before facing the pair of them. She realized her mistake as Celestia noted it was three antagonists, not the Pony Sisters against Discord.
"Discord said there's something we need to talk about, and has ceded the floor to you," Celestia said and looked at Luna.
Luna sighed and began to explain her dealings with this threat to Equestria, and Discord too.
Celestia's near legendary tranquility and aplomb had rarely been tested as it had this morning. She had already canceled all her meeting and appointments for the day. She doubted her temper would stand much more.
"Discord," she said sharply, and even the draconequus winced, "What you have done is inexcusable." She noted the smug look from Luna, but ignored it for the moment. "Many ponies depend on Luna and her abilities. Your actions will deny them her skills for quite some time. You will adjust your spell so it only affects Luna for a few minutes at a time, for say five times a night."
Celestia ignored the thump beside her, not caring to see how much and what part of Luna had hit the floor. "You are remanded to Fluttershy's custody, and will remain in her home or in her presence, save when you are preparing a report on not abusing your power, to torment those who haven't harmed you."
Discord at least looked chagrined as he nodded.
"Princess Twilight has much experience preparing excellent reports, you will enlist her aid in preparing said report, which I expect to be complete, written, proofread and ready for presentation in three weeks time. Are we both clear on this?"
"Very clear, your Majesty," Discord said.
"Begone."
And the alicorns were alone.
"My dear sister, it must have been terrible," Celestia said, "Wondering what I'd do when I found out you'd lied to me."
Luna had been approaching, now she backed away.
Celestia examined her hoof, as she spoke, "I do wonder, what else have you lied to me about? How much of my trust have you betrayed?"
"Nothing, Celestia."
"But is that true, or just another lie?" Celestia asked as she looked at Luna. "We did a man a terrible injustice. And when we hemmed in on all sides he who had offered us no threat, he prostrated himself before us and asked simply to be let alone. No threat to expose us, no cry for revenge, just the succor of time and distance to let him heal among his new friends and family. A boon we granted, I granted, and thought you had too. Was not his abject humiliation and acknowledged helplessness before us sufficient for you? Now, how many of your decisions do I have to review to see if you've kept your word to our subjects?"
"Please Celestia," Luna said with tears running down her cheeks.
"No, your Highness, our ponies come first. I love my sister. I had hoped she would understand my disapproval and seek to correct her mistake. But if the Lunar Diarch cannot keep her word, then all we have done is suspect. Our ponies have to trust us, or we cannot help them."
"He's dangerous!" Luna shouted.
"To whom? A maker of toys and a family man?" Celestia replied with equal heat as she walked towards Luna, "To your image that you can do no wrong? To some desire to revenge yourself on one who wounded me? If revenge was to be extracted, it was my right and not yours!" Celestia thundered, "How DARE you attack an innocent in my name! You think I am so weak that I cannot defend myself and my own good name? Then what of your courage? Striking where he cannot hope to strike back, and keeping the excuse of 'I was doing it for Celestia' to deflect any blame! If he is such a threat, have the decency to face him yourself and offer a swift death. To drag it out over weeks and months is sadism, not security. Have the decency to let his family see the blood on your hooves and not make them think his growing madness is their failing." Celestia had backed Luna into a corner and still glared at the quivering mare. "And you dare complain when someone turns the tables on you. Discord did nothing you have not already done. Be glad he withheld his hand further." Celestia stepped back and examined Luna, who shivered at the coldness of the gaze. "Or perhaps he was crueler than I surmise. He left you alone with naught but yourself. A more conniving cellmate I could not imagine. Even an alien who stank of death and terror could not be as foul. In that cell, I had no fear of a knife in the belly in the dead of the night. Be cautious my sister, else she will slip a blade between your ribs and claim it was for my greater glory."
Celestia stormed out, wanting more than anything to vent her full rage at these events. What did Discord say, only the ones you love can make you that mad, she thought, I wonder if he meant angry, or insane?
"But why is it wrong to drag someone out of their nice, safe, comfortable existence and force them into a situation where they think everything is dangerous, and they think everyone is out to get them?" Discord asked Fluttershy as Twilight 'helped' with his report.
"Oh, it's never all right to do something like that," Fluttershy said.
"But, if you're protecting someone very important to you?" Discord asked.
"Discord," Fluttershy said firmly, "I would never want you to do that for me. I can't think of anyone who would." Fluttershy turned and smiled at Twilight. "I'm right, aren't I?"
"Uh, yeah," Twilight said.
"But what if I'm really, really angry?" Discord asked.
Fluttershy shook her head. "It's no excuse. There is a very big difference between helping a friend and becoming, well, a bully yourself." Fluttershy looked over at Twilight who seemed to be trying to cough up her lungs. "Are you all right?" she asked, patting Twilight on the back.
"Fine," Twilight gasped, and glared at Discord.
"Now I can understand how a child might want something like that, but a grown up would never allow something like that to happen. Even if their best friend in the world had been hurt," Fluttershy scolded Discord, "You understand that, right?"
"Maybe Twilight should explain the, well, scholarly reasons for it. I'm kind of new to the whole 'morality' thing. There must be some books around here on moral philosophy."
Fluttershy smiled. "Yes, that's a good idea. I'm sure there's lots of books on it, and I'm sure Twilight can help you find the relevant philosophers. But I have to get some supplies at the market." Fluttershy nudged Twilight. "Don't have too much fun studying." She looked at Discord. "And you behave. Celestia wants you to treat this seriously."
"Of course, I agree that I went too far, and this will get me back in everyone's good graces," Discord said and rubbed his paws together, "So Twilight, where are your books on why mercilessly torturing someone who hurt your friend is wrong? Then maybe we can go crazy and look up why torturing innocent bystanders is wrong too. Won't that be fun?" Party streamers and confetti showered down on both of them to the accompaniment of kazoos.
Fluttershy grinned as she left, it was good to see her friend take something so seriously.
Klein looked at the invitation. Fancy danced nervously, she wanted him to come with and be at her side when the dedication occurred. "The new toys are out and we've got all the bugs out of manufacturing. Do you have any problems with it?" she asked.
" 'Assorted workmen'? Not 'work ponies'?" he said, "Odd phrasing from Equestria."
"You're not nitpicking about that are you?" Fancy asked.
"No, of course not," Klein said, "In fact I'd like you to invite them over. If I'm going to be digging beside them, I want them to know I'm not going to go crazy and beat them over the head with a shovel. I'll even ask the Councillor to bring one of his spice cakes, with some of my fudge frosting. At the cost of planting something symbolic in the garden." He leaned down to let Fancy hug him.
"I thought you'd be paranoid about strange Equestrians near you or wandering in our home," Fancy said.
"Considering Discord is coming in day after tomorrow, I doubt we have to worry about agents of your family doing something stupid." He let her go. "But we are going to have to move the piano to get more space in here, and it'll give me an excuse to paint the wall behind it."
"Okay. Just make sure it matches the rest of the wall," Fancy replied.
"It will once it's ready for the piano to go back," Klein said, "I just figured something weird and conversational for when Discord is here."
Fancy rolled her eyes then waddled off to the bathroom again. "I think my bladder is shrinking."
"They just hug it because it's you," he replied.
"HA!" she replied.
"Need help with the paino?" Dipper said as she arrived.
"Yep, and it's a piano, just because you don't like your lessons," Klein replied as Dipper made a face at him, "I need to get the wheels under it."
"Now what's the first thing your going to say to Discord when he arrives?" Fancy asked.
"Argumenalate tralfaz," Dipper replied.
There was silence from the bathroom as the pair put the piano on the cart.
"That's probably exactly what you're going to say," Fancy said.
"Like mother like daughter," Klein replied, "You're too nervous about this. If you mess up. What's the worse thing that can happen? Her Highness takes it away from you?"
"She gives me three more," Fancy said as she left the bathroom and saw Klein spattering the wall behind the piano with red paint. "What is that?"
"An artist from my home called Jackson Pollack would spatter a canvas with paint to demonstrate the contrast of color and to let the mind create shapes from the chaos. That's a bit avant garde for work ponies, so I'd try something simpler." Klein grinned at her.
"They're definitely going to think we deserve Discord," Fancy agreed.
Once she was out of sight, Klein poked his finger with a needle and added a few smears of blood to the largest paint splotches.
The 'workmen' were not all males, but they were all ponies. Big, strapping Earth ponies to a one. A mix of colors of bodies and manes, but most had a construction or gardening cutie marks. Except for the one large, pale mare who seemed to disappear into the background.
"Welcome, I hope the sudden bad weather didn't cause you any problems," Fancy said as Klein took their coats, "There's hot stew and some mulled cider. I thought we should talk about the actual work before we get out there." She headed into the living room where a diagram was laid out.
One of the stallions and two of the mares remained behind to help with the coats. "What is that?" the stallion asked of the design where the piano had been.
"Oh, a little art, I'll paint over it. That's where the piano will go," Klein said as he hung up the coats.
"It doesn't smell like just paint," the smaller mare leaned close and said.
"I don't want to panic my pregnant wife on the day before her big ceremony," Klein said quietly, "But just between us, I don't think they were really Celestia's commandos. She would have sent more than just eight." Klein pointedly ignored the horrified looks among the trio. "Shall we join the party?" he asked with the last of the coats hung up, "With our luck this snow will be freezing rain by morning, and then what are we going to do?"
The trio nodded as they followed him into the living room, but all of them stared at the haphazard red splotches on the wall as they passed. They could hardly tear their eyes away.
Fancy washed the dishes while Dipper dried. Klein was painting over his 'experiment'. "Did that mare seem awfully concerned about our 'relationship'?" Fancy asked, "I'd forgotten how nosy some ponies can be."
"It's probably how they deal with stress," Klein said as he finished the first coat on the wall. "You saw how she, that stallion and that big mare stayed clumped together. Maybe they were trying to see if we were 'open-minded'."
Fancy glanced at Dipper who was a bit frustrated they were talking over her head again.
"No, there was more to it than that," Fancy said.
"Could be the question of how are you with child? Is parthenogenesis possible or prevalent?" Klein asked as he took up the drop cloth and the other painting gear.
"Not that I've ever heard of. Wait, you're saying they think you aren't the father?" Fancy asked.
"I'm saying they can't figure out how I could be." Klein entered the kitchen and kissed Fancy.
"I can," Dipper said.
"You're smarter than they are," Klein said and kissed her too.
"Rarity, if it's good enough for ma tree, it's good enough for your dresses," Applejack said as they stood around Discord, ready to 'go express' to Multicursal.
"It's just these are very delicate," Rarity said.
"Then they ain't the right dresses for her Archduchessness," Applejack murmured.
"Are you all ready, it's quite cold there?" Discord said.
"I'm ready," Spike said from inside the borrowed parka.
"Good enough," Discord said and they reappeared in the grounds of the Equestrian Embassy. "Tada." Discord leaned down and rapped on the ground. "That's going to be interesting."
"How the hay are they supposed to plant in this ground?" Applejack asked as she stomped on the ground.
"How are they supposed to see my beautiful dresses in this weather?" Rarity asked as she skittered on the ice.
"How about we discuss this inside?" Spike suggested as his teeth began chattering.
"It'll be warmer when the sun's up," Discord said.
"That pale patch of bright in the clouds?" Applejack asked and pointed.
"Uh, ya," Discord said.
The first speech was by Blueblood, and managed to get everyone chuckling by his constant references to the vast expanse, immense population and huge resources of this 'new' province. What a grave responsibility and huge administrative effort running it would require. It transitioned into Fancy's history of familial and personal loyalty to Celestia. Which had Fancy chuckling.
Then he stepped aside. Klein pulled a pair of axes out of the barrel of tools he'd brought.
"Oh no, he's seen through your disguise," Discord wailed as he hid behind a particular trio, "I mean he's going to kill us all."
"Discord, everyone knows you use a shotgun on horses, not an axe," Klein said as he dropped the axe in front of the large mare, her two companions were nearly apoplectic, but the mare picked up the ax and chopped through the frozen layer of turf to the softer ground below. She and Klein started on opposite sides and they circled around until they'd cut away a 'lid' that Discord lifted into the air.
"We'll cut a slot for your tree," Discord told Applejack.
As the others spoke, they also scattered seeds or seedlings into the earth. Finally Discord broke up the slab of frozen turf and set it down around the seedlings and over the seeds. Leaving the small apple tree surrounded by smaller plants. The more experienced gardeners provided cover for the plants against the cold.
The rest of the group headed into the Embassy to get out of the cold, and they sought out the small buffet that had been laid out. Applejack, Klein and the large mare were the notables who worked outside with the gardeners.
It was evening, and Fancy had invited Blueblood, Rarity and Applejack back to their home. Once they were settled in, and Dipper was tucked in, Klein returned to the living room, and saw the letters the Bearers had written.
Neither Rarity nor Applejack were pleased Klein hadn't read them.
"We're not good enough fer ya?" Applejack said.
"There is nothing you had to say that was the least bit interesting to me. Just because someone sends a letter, that doesn't mean you have to read it," Klein replied.
"Tain't polite," Applejack said, and ignored Rarity's soft warning.
"Why? Is it polite to waste my time? I have a family to look after and a business to run. I owe them my time and attention first and foremost. People on another continent I will never visit are possible customers, nothing more."
"The fact we are Twilight's friends has nothing to do with it?" Rarity asked and glared at Applejack to keep her quiet.
"I told their Highnesses, I wanted nothing to do with them, any of them. They agreed." Klein gestured at the letters, "Going around the letter of the agreement to violate the spirit does her cause no favors."
"So you think these are some attempt to explain away what happened?" Rarity asked.
"The other four are," Fancy said, "Yours asks for details. Since I suspected you were coming, I thought it might be a good place to learn." She looked at Klein. "I know your 'contract' with the Princesses was they leave you alone for your silence. But neither Luna nor Twilight has lived up to their end of the agreement."
"There comes a time when these things need to be out in the open," Blueblood added.
Klein sat down in front of the fire, and rearranged the bed of coals before adding another log. That done, and his decision made, he got a mop bucket from the broom closet and returned to the table. "All right. The first time any of you say 'she'd never do that' or some other such nonsense, you, your hat and coat get thrown out into the street. I will admit, I know nothing of their motivations, and could care less. I will tell you what happened to me."
He began, starting with 'I was taken from my home and family without warning', leaving out he was an alien and telling them what happened from there. After a little while, Applejack took full advantage of the bucket. When she was done, Klein dumped it out, then rinsed it out.
"I would have thought it would be one of us," Blueblood said to Rarity.
"It might," Fancy warned, looking as queasy as the others.
Klein continued his tale. While none of them needed to use the bucket again, it was a near thing, even for Fancy. Klein stood near the mantle, staring at the wall while the fire burned merrily in the grate. His tone was emotionless, his descriptions clinical. He was not trying for sympathy, but the ponies were revolted and frightened. He ended his story after the point he woke up in the hospital.
"I took some time to get healthy and do my research. Once I had enough, I tried to escape and I succeeded. I landed in Minotaura, and heard that Multicursal was even farther off the beaten path. So I settled here. The rest you can read in the newspapers."
Applejack reached over to her letter, then flipped it into the fire. "I think I see why Princess Sparkle never talked about it," she said.
"They never tried to apologize?" Rarity asked her head bowed and her ears tight against her head.
"They tried to lure him back to Canterlot with a Royal Commission, so they could explain, but that's hardly an apology," Fancy said, "At least I hope they were trying to explain, they could have wanted to use reform spells on him. Make sure he was no threat to Equestria or Celestia. Another princess has been mucking around his dreams to determine the same thing. It seems they won't take 'yes' for an answer."
None of the Equestrians looked comfortable with that assertion.
"Twilight does get a bit eccentric when Celestia is involved," Rarity said.
"I've read a few of the wilder reports," Klein said as he stepped away from the fireplace, "When even Discord tries to change the subject, you realize they are inaccurate because they cleaned them up." He shrugged. "You asked, now you've heard. Equestria as far as I'm concerned is someone elses' problem. I have customers there. That's all I want. Before you ask, I am not interesting in being friends. They say you can judge someone by their friends and by their enemies. Princesses Twilight and Luna are your friends, Discord is your enemy, that doesn't speak well of you from my point of view."
Klein and Fancy chuckled at Rarity and Applejack's expression.
"You'd trust Discord, before you'd trust Twilight?" Applejack asked. Her tone indicated she thought she was dealing with rampant insanity.
Klein put a finger on his chin. "Trust the one who taught our child about snowflakes."
"Chocolate rain," Fancy added, equally thoughtful.
"The changing of the leaves."
"About microbes and that unseen world."
"About the play of suns and moons and gravity."
"About thinking outside the box."
"Or trust someone who kidnaped me," Klein said.
"Tortured you," Fancy added.
"Poisoned me."
"Sent a false commission to lure you back to her 'tender' care."
"And simultaneously, callously crushed your hopes of a happy return."
"Discord or Twilight?" Fancy asked.
"Discord," the pair said together.
"Given your experiences," Blueblood said, "I can hardly fault your logic. But if you'd met her under better circumstances, you might think differently."
"The commission came over a year after my escape," Klein said as he sat down beside Fancy. She put her head in his lap and draped her forelegs over his legs. The other three ponies looked on with interest as Klein began scratching her behind the years. "If she couldn't let go in a year, she'll never let go. That's a good indicator I saw her in a typical light. Besides, as I said, other than customers, Equestria has nothing to offer."
"You could go home," Blueblood said.
"This is our home," Fancy said, "Yes, the council is led by a crook, but he's an honest and reliable crook. You pay your taxes and the occasional bribe to get his 'help' and your entire life runs very smoothly. That farce with the charity figurines wouldn't be tolerated. Someponies would be woken in the middle of the night, gathered with their family and given a stern lecture, perhaps followed by a beating. Not the most civilized behavior, but a far cry from ensorceling a trio of fillies, then a whole town, just to make something to report on."
"Twi'd just tangled with Discord," Applejack said, "She weren't all ways right in the head."
"Is that why you raced to her defense, before checking on your own sister?" Fancy asked. She looked up as Klein tickled her ear. He shook his head. "I apologize, that was uncalled for."
"I can see how that might look to an outsider," Rarity said, "But I assure you it was an aberration."
"I think her point was that it's not that great an aberration for Canterlot nobles," Blueblood said, "You've felt it, on several occasions. It is far worse when nobles are playing against each other."
"The point isn't to run down your home," Klein said, "But to point out, it isn't ours. There's no purpose for me ever going there. About the only people who live there we'd want to visit, can come here just as easily. So I don't see any reason to entertain the idea that what the Princesses want is important. To their subjects or in their country, yes. To someone on the far size of the world, no, not at all. If they harbor the idea that if just one person on the planet doesn't trust them, and wouldn't care about them, has to somehow be rectified or all the world is doomed, they've got a bigger problem. I don't hate your friend and your rulers, I am apathetic about them. That they can't or won't reciprocate is not my problem."
"At least you're honest about it," Rarity said quietly, getting a snort of laughter from Applejack. "And you been more than generous to put us up for the night."
"Our pleasure," Klein said.
Applejack and Rarity had taken an airship, and then a train back to Ponyville, while Spike and Blueblood had been returned days earlier by Discord.
The town had turned out to greet their heroines returning in triumph.
"Now for the superest, most stupendiferous party in pony history," Pinkie shouted as the pair exited the train. The journey had clearly been long and hard on the pair. They seemed very tired.
"Well, did you enjoy yourselves, anything you want to tell us?" Twilight said and grinned.
"Yes, yer Highness," Applejack said quietly, giving Twilight a flat stare.
Twilight winced at the tone and Applejack's piercing gaze.
"But it can wait until after the party, then we are going to have a talk," Rarity said, "About trust."
Twilight fought desperately to remember an appointment, any appointment that would get her out of there.
Pony hooves and their ability to grip had always amazed Klein. Like being held off the ground by the throat, by his lovely wife.
"YOU DID THIS TO ME!" she calmly informed him, Minotaura, Griffonstan, and likely most of Equestria.
He would have reminded her to breathe, if he could have himself.
"You've dilated nicely," the doctor crouched below said.
"Even the doctor wants you to die," Fancy said and grinned at him. A grin that would have sent any of the ponies' ancient enemies fleeing for their lives. She released him as another contraction peaked.
He let her lean against him and rubbed her back. "You're doing fine, keep breathing."
"I want them OUT!" she said, ending in an utterly crushing grip on his shoulders.
"One of them heard you," the doctor said, "Just push."
Fancy gnawed the collar of his shirt as she grunted with effort. The sound of Dipper's new little brother sounded through the room, and for a moment Fancy forgot the pain.
But only for a moment. "I'm going to have you fixed!"
Again everyone was glad the nurse in the corner had the only sharp objects in the room as she cut and tied off the cord.
Shadow Lightning and Buzz paced the floor. Discord was playing cards with Discord and Dipper. A functionary from the embassy awaited word to transmit to the capital.
"I could speed things up," Discord offered.
"That's not how it works," Dipper said, "And quit eating your ante."
Discord set the candies down and stared.
Klein walked out, and everyone stared.
"What happened to you?" Dipper asked with alarm.
Klein, battered, his collar half chewed off, a black eye, and an absolute shit-eating grin knelt to kiss Dipper. "Your little brother and little sisters are fine, as is your mom." He winced slightly as Dipper jumped into his arms. "Easy honey, your mom's awfully strong."
"Now we know why ponies try to talk you out of being in there," Buzz said.
"Wild horses weren't going to keep me out," he replied.
"Can I see them?" Dipper said as she pronked excitedly.
"They're getting cleaned up," Klein said, "We can see them in about 20 minutes, and yes we includes you, Discord. As long as you promise not to go into the nursery. We can look at them through the window."
Klein looked at the functionary as he sat down. "I don't care what their Highnesses hear about them being alicorns, they cannot visit. Period."
"Al - i - corns," the functionary managed before fainting.
"They aren't really?" Dipper asked.
"I never said they were. Why don't we walk over and see?" Klein said.
"DADDY!" Dipper complained, but she relented when she saw how tired he was. "Mommy's okay."
"As tired as I am, but okay," he said as she jumped up on the chair beside him, and hugged him more gently.
" 'I don't care what their Highnesses hear about them being alicorns, THEY CANNOT VISIT. PERIOD,' " Luna shrieked as she stomped around the throne room, "How dare he!? How dare he!? HOW DARE HE!?" The walls of the throne room shook with her rage.
WHAM!
"Sigged, foofall miter fink," Luna said as she sagged to the ground.
Discord examined the hunk of wood he'd just clouted Luna with. The 'Clue Bat' passed his inspection, then he hid it behind his back as he looked at Celestia.
She frowned at him. "Normally, I would be incensed by your violence towards my sister." Celestia sighed, "However, are they actually alicorns?"
"No," Discord said, "A unicorn colt and filly, and a pegasus filly."
"I see," Celestia said, she glanced at her scribe, "Take a letter." She glanced at Discord. "Please stay, and I'll let you deliver the letter you just read, to Princess Sparkle."
Discord nodded.
"To Councilor Oleaginous, apply all his ruffles, flourishes and titles. From: Her Highness Princess Celestia. No further titles or flourishes. We wish to celebrate with you the news that the Thunder-Bottle family has grown today. In our joy we would ask a boon."
"Personal favor," Discord said.
"Personal favor?" Celestia asked, and Discord nodded, "Personal favor. Would you be able to arrange diaper service for the family and their three newborns?" She noted Discord's grin and nod, and continued, "For a period of a year and a half, at the crown's expense."
Celestia paused. "Offer of agent, 10%?"
"No, but do arrange a charitable donation to a few of his favorites. Don't link them directly. But have the donations arrive at the same time as the request."
Celestia nodded. "Does Multicursal have a diaper service? The embassy couldn't answer."
"If not, they will soon enough," Discord said, "Well played. I don't think even Klein will refuse this."
"Especially coming through a trusted second-hand as it were," Celestia said and nodded.
Discord vanished.
Luna staggered to her hooves. "What hit me?" she asked and gingerly rubbed the lump on her head.
"Discord," Celestia said, "He was quite sensitive about his pregnancy," Celestia said and looked for the tea tray. When she looked back, Luna was flat on the floor again. She poured herself a cup and enjoyed the warm sweetness.