Prologue: Looks Like We're Not In America Any More
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Prologue: Looks Like We're Not In America Any More
"Yes! So it's true then that the Broncos beat the Seahawks in the 2014 Super Bowl?" Aaron Rodgers said, putting an arm on the armrest on the couch, while taking a sip of beer.
"You bet! Ah, that was a glorious day for my Broncos." Said Payton Manning, sitting opposite of Rodgers, and taking a swig of Jack Daniels.
"Great! That's all I needed to know my man. I'll be sure to tell that prick Willson to go shove the shit that he has to say up his ass!" Rodgers fist bumped Manning, and made his way towards the time machine.
"Hey, just be careful that the space-time continuum remains in balance, aka me from 2014 winning."
"What happens if Willson somehow manages to win?"
"That'll upset the balance of time in the universe, causing a wormhole to appear that could lead you guys to other parts of the universe, dead, or even worse; other universes!"
"Haha, I'll try to keep that in mind bud. There's no way in hell that Russell Willson is getting that Lombardi trophy while I'm still alive!"
"Good luck there man! And you know you can start the E.L.I.T.E.S at any time!" Manning said, as the two embraced in a bro hug. After the hug, Rodgers left the room, and entered the garage where his time machine was stationed. Rodgers sighed. He should be friends with the present Manning more, considering how badass his future self is. He took one more look towards the door, then shut the door of the time machine. Setting the time back to 2014, Rodgers started up the machine, taking him to the past.
"Wow. That was a real clusterfuck of a game for Manning." Tom Brady said, taking a sip of beer.
"Yeah. I wonder how he's feeling right now. I feel a bit sorry for him, considering how much shit he talked this week." Cam Newton said, sitting next to Brady behind the counter.
"Would you like another round Cam?" It was Matthew Stafford, cleaning a wine glass. "And for that matter, would anyone else like anything?"
"I'll take a water please." Tim Tebow said, raising his hand.
"Oh god damn it Tebow! It's after the season. We can drink all the damn beer we want!" Brady said, pounding his fist on the counter.
"Well you seem to have forgotten that I don't drink. Plus, there could be a way for me to comeback into the league-" he was met with a chorus of "no's!" coming from various quarterbacks in the room.
"Aw come on now. At least he's better than Romo." It was Nick Foles, coming up to Tebow and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Foles, even fucking Hellen Keller is better than Romo." Brady said, met with laughs.
"BECAUSE ROMO SUCKS THAT BAD!" The voice came from Ben Roethlisberger, causing everyone to moan in disgust.
"Ben, how many times have we fucking told you that EXPLAINING THE JOKE DOESNT MAKE IT FUNNY!" Drew Brees yelled, stomping across the room towards Roethlisberger.
"Woh there son. You've got a little too much alcohol on your system. Let's let it run its course, then you can get all pissed off." It was RGIII, getting off the couch and stepping in-between Brees and Roethlisberger.
"You're right. I just need to calm down and relax. I get too pissed off sometimes when Ben ruins a perfectly good Romo joke."
"Speaking of Romo, it was really nice of him to throw us this big Super Bowl party at his house." Andrew Luck said.
"Yeah, it made me finally live out my second passion of bring a bartender!" Stafford said.
"Where is Romo anyways?" Tebow said.
"Oh, he must still be locked up in the basement." Sam Bradford said, sitting down next to Tebow.
"...And you know that because...?" Brady said, trailing off.
"Well you know how I like to put stuff in my ass. Well tonight I was going to get experimental with Romo's-"
"Um... No thanks mi don't want to know how you tried to cut off Romo's balls and place them in your anus." Brady said, cutting him off.
"Why you disgusting little pervert! I would never do such a thing! I only stick to the legal stuff. This time, I shoved bowling balls down my ass. It makes a real nice pillow like feel to it."
"........" Brady was speechless. He pondered at the fact that someone so disgusting like Bradford would go and do something like that. "Matt, I think I need a few more drinks to forget what I just heard."
"No problem man! A few drinks comin right up! And I'll make em extra strong too." Stafford said, running to the pantry to get some Whisky.
"Seriously though Sam, how is you ass NOT bleeding out right now?"
"Who's bleeding out?" Said Colin Kaepernick, walking through the door.
"Oh hey Colin, it's just Sam talking about another one of his perverted fetishes again. Nothing to get all too worked up about." Brady said, waving to Colin."
"Where were you man? You missed the ass wopin that Manning got today!" Andy Dalton said, fist bumping Kaepernick.
"Well you see, I did watch it with my new pet turtle Sammy, and I figured that none of you would show up, considering that this is Romo's house."
"Ah. You must have missed the text that Sam gave all of us. Thankfully it was during the pre-game show so that we all could get here." Brady said.
"I must have. Now that you mention it, I did turn my phone off before the game so that I wouldn't miss a second of it!"
"Aw man! You missed out of a hella time here! Anyway, you're here now to greet Man in and Wilson." Dalton said.
"That'll be a bit awkward don't ha think?" Kaepernick said. "By the way, Sam, how is your ass that big?"
"Oh no... Please don't". Brady said.
"Here we go again..." Said Joe Flacco.
"Well you see, I've had a lot of practice with-".
"GOD DAMN IT MOTHER FUCKER SON OF A WHORE!" Payton Manning said, kicking down the door, as Aaron Rodgers emerged from the basement.
"Well hi gu- Why doesn't Manning have the Lombardi trophy?" Rodgers said.
"Oh. I forgot you went in the future. Well, my brother lost. Simple as that." Eli Manning said.
"Wilson, I swear that I will beat you one day!" Manning said, putting his fist in the air.
"But our record against each other shows that would be unlikely." Wilson said, smirking.
"Oh piss off! Uh guys, who let Romo up here?"
"Whoops. I didn't even know he was down in the basement, where my time machine ended up." Rodgers said, blushing.
"I'm finally free!! And oh, congrats Wilson ya bitch." Romo said, pushing Rodgers to the side.
"Hey Peyton, you know what? You and Tony do have something in common! You both didn't win a Super Bowl." Wilson said. Manning turned around to try and slug Wilson, but he dodged, sending Manning to the ground.
"Woh now bitches. Let's not let this get in our heads here now!" Brady said, getting up from his chair to help Manning.
"I don't need your help damn it! I'm tired of being upstaged by this hot shot!" Manning said, pushing Brady's arm away.
"Still... Guys, why does Russell have the Lombardy trophy?" Rodgers asked, concerned.
"Uh... Didn't we tell your dumbass that Russ WON the Super Bowl?" The voice came from Brandon Weeden.
"Yes... But, now we are in a great danger. Something very bad could happen at this very moment." As Rodgers finished, the house shook.
"Well God damn it Wilson! It's all you damn fault that we're gonna die now!" Manning said.
"Don't worry about it bro, we could easily kill him." Eli Manning said.
"Eli, how many horror movies have you seen lately?" Rodgers asked his friend, concerned.
"About a couple dozen. Why do you ask?"
"... No reason. Just, we can't kill him, it won't do any damn good."
"We'll do you have a plan Einstein?" Brady said.
"Actually, I do not. I guess we just wait here and see where fate takes us."
"WAIT HERE?! WAIT HERE?! We can't simple wait here, we'll all die!" Romo said, running around in circles, holding both hands up in the air. Tom Brady was about to retort back, when suddenly, the roof and second floor to Romo's house were lifted from their foundation, to,the shock of everyone in the room. Some of them were screaming, others running in circles, and some were even doing both.
"Things can't possibly get any worse..." Romo said, looking up to see the massive black hole growing ever so closer to them.
"Don't say that dumbass! That'll only just make things worse!" Payton said, trying to grab onto a chair.
"Well what ever you do-". Brady stopped mid-sentence as he was forcibly sucked into the black hole, followed by the other QBs in similar fashion.
As they exited the black hole, at first glance everything seemed normal.
"Ah fuck!" Brady said, standing up. He took a look around, and could tell something was wrong"Hey guys, does anybody know where on earth we are?"
"I actually have no idea from the look of this place. Guys, I'm quite scared." Andrew Luck said, brushing dust off of,his pants. The place that they were in was filled with a variety of bright colors, mainly blues and greens. They saw what appeared to be houses that led to shops that led to a big tree house in the middle of town. As they approached the town, Aaron Rodgers looked up to see a huge banner with the words in bold 'WELCOME PRINCESS CELESTIA TO PONYVILLE.'
"Guys, where the hell is Ponyville?" Rodgers said.
"I don't see it anywhere on a map." Said Brees.
"I don't think we're in America any more fellas." Payton said.
"Well no shot Sherlock. Come on, let's go explore this place then get the hell out of here before things start to get weird." Brady said, as the started to walk along the path that led to Ponyville, and a very excited Pink Pony that was at the edge of town, staring at them closely.