Twilight Sparkle: Doctor Frankenstein

by Hopeful_Ink_Hoof

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Spike, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy
Length: 4713

Twilight Sparkle collects body parts from corpses to put them together. For science, of course.

Twilight Sparkle: magical master, scientific genius, grave-robber. Twilight has been collecting body parts for a very special experiment. Now the time is close. Just a few more pieces, and the right weather conditions.

What is Twilight about to release upon the world? And how will Princess Celestia react when she finds out?

Published 2014-09-28 23:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-02 00:14:05 UTC

The Final Pieces

In the basement of a small hospital, a door leading from the stairway pushed open. It did so slowly, stopping whenever it gave off the slightest squeak or creak.

"Take a look," a voice whispered.

"Why do I have to look?" another asked.

"Because you are smaller, which means a smaller gap in the door and a reduced likelihood of being spotted if there is a guard on watch."

"We should have just brought a mirror or something," the second voice huffed.

"Spike," the first growled, "we tried that. Remember? It ended up getting broken before we used it."

"It's not my fault that your stupid tool-"

"Spike!"

"Okay. Okay. I'll look. Jeez."

From the gap in the doorway, the head of a small purple dragon with green spine poked out. Eyes flicking back and forth, he scanned the halls, checking to see if there is any living thing in sight.

"Okay, Twilight," Spike said in a normal voice as he pushed the door open. "It's clear."

Twilight Sparkle -- a primarily purple unicorn pony -- poked her head out and looked around for herself. Same as with Spike, she saw nothing in the halls around them.

"Good," Twilight said as she took a step forward. "Remember, Spike, quick and quiet. We want to be able to get-'

"'-in and out so we can work with nopony noticing,'" Spike finished with a roll of his eyes. "You don't have to tell me this every time we do this."

Twilight let out a huff, shaking her head.

"Just come on," she said as she started to move down along the hall. "And don't forget the bag."

"Yes, master," Spike huffed. Picking up the black leather satchel, he carried it as he went after her.

The two made their ways through the dimly lit halls. Twilight led the way, keeping close to the wall. She barely lifted her hooves, just enough the let them slide forward without the slightest sound. After several steps, she would stop, pressing herself against the wall and checking around them to be sure they were still alone.

Spike continued to follow after her, standing close to the wall, but otherwise walking normally.

"Here we are," Twilight announced as she stopped in front a door with the word "Morgue" written across it. After checking to make sure they were still alone, she opened the door and quickly slipped inside, her magic suddenly yanking Spike in with her. Shutting the door behind them, she let out a sigh, sagging slightly.

"We made it."

"You know," Spike said, "we don't have to do this. If it makes you this nervous, we could just forget the whole thing."

"'Forget the whole thing?'" Twilight yelped, turning to Spike with her eyes wide. "'Forget the whole thing?!' This is a very important scientific project, Spike. I have put a lot of work into it and we are so close to finishing. I can't quit now. And I definitely will not 'forget the whole thing!'"

With that, she turned back around and started to move further into the room. Her breath created a visible puff each time she exhaled. A rose colored light emanated from her horn as she used her magic. Moving to the first table, she picked up the clipboard and read across.

"Too old," she said, tossing the clipboard down and moving to another.

"Too small."

She grabbed another.

"Wrong type."

Another.

She chewed her lip as she read.

"Yes... Yes.." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "No. Cause of death makes the desired organ non-viable."

So it went. Spike would follow close by while Twilight walked from body to body, reading clipboard that contained the necessary information One or two were considered "maybes" that she would come back to if no better option was found.

"Ah-ha!" Twilight called out as she looked at the paper. "A male pegasus, in the right age range, and cause of death is a broken neck." She let out an excited gasp. "Plus, he's originally from Cloudsdale. This could be better than I expected." She paused. "Provided he had no history of respiratory problems."

"Why does him being from Cloudsdale matter?" Spike asked, moving to look at the pegasus in question.

"With Cloudsdale being so high up, there's less oxygen," Twilight explained. "That means that their respiratory system has to be even more efficient to allow them to breathe properly. Now let's get started. Mask."

Spike set down the bag and opened it. After some searching, he pulled out a surgeons mask and passed it to Twilight, who put it on.

"Goggles," Twilight ordered, putting them on when they were passed to her.

"Scalpel."

With a sigh, Spike went back to searching in the bag. After some searching, he pulled out a rolled up leather pouch. A single pulled undid the string holding it together. Once unrolled, he pulled out one of the scalpels it held and passed it to Twilight.

Using her magic, Twilight Sparkle took a hold of the implement. Returning back to the remains of the deceased pegasus, she focused all of her attention on what she was doing.

She pressed the sharp blade into the skin at the base of the neck and pressed down, slicing through the flesh and muscle with ease. As precisely as she could manage, Twilight traced along the top-most edge of the collarbone and rib cage. Once she reached the dip of the neck, Twilight pulled the scalpel out. She then moved the surgical tool to the other side of neck, making another cut to mirror the first.

Once the top was completed, Twilight started working on the bottom. This time, she started in the middle, tracing down and out along the bottom ribs. The scalpel continued to slice through the meat of the deceased pegasus with relative ease, the severed muscle tissue pulling away from the cut to reveal the contents beneath. A lack of blood obscuring visibility was probably beneficial in this matter.

Now came the slightly more challenging part. Adjusting her grip on the scalpel, Twilight moved to the top of the ribs. She had to be a little more careful. If the pressure was too light, she would simply have to cut a second -- or possibly even a third or fourth -- time. However, if she were to press too hard, the scalpel would press into bone of the sternum, which could damage and potentially break the blade. It would not be enough to prevent her from continuing since she had additional scalpels, but it would be a nuisance to try and remove the broken blade and start cutting anew.

There was one point where it felt like the blade stuck on something, but Twilight was able to pull past it and cut through the rest of the way.

"Oh, thank goodness," Twilight said as she set the scalpel aside. "Spike, shears."

Spike searched through the bag and pulled out the requested tool. Although technically designed to cut through thin tree branches, Twilight had concluded that it was the most effective way to cut through the rib cage for their purposes. Bone saws were made more for removing limbs all the way. Using it would take a while to cut through the sternum, more so since she would have to be careful not to accidentally cut into the tissue of the heart or lungs. A hammer and chisel would work faster, but would also be more likely to damage the desired organs. It would take some effort (even with the longer handles), but the shears could cut through the bones. More importantly, it minimized the risk of collateral damage.

As Twilight took the shears, Spike took the scalpel. He wrapped a string around the handle, marking it as the one that was already used, before putting back into its pouch pocket. This way, there was no chance of her using it again before they could check and be sure it was still properly sharp.

The mouth of the shears slid over the bottom portion sternum, wedging it between the sturdy base and sharp top. With all the magic she was willing to risk, Twilight squeezed hard on the arm-length handles.

The silence of the room was disrupted by a wet crunching sound. The bone cracked and splintered as the gardening tool squeezed, breaking it to get through more than simply cutting it. With a hard twist and a loud snap, the shears' jaws snapped completely shut. With a sigh, Twilight opened the back up, moved further up along the bone, and repeated the process.

It was a little slow, but each squeeze cut further and further along the bone of sternum. Soon, she reached the top, and with one final squeeze, cut the bone in two... although not quite as cleanly as she would like.

"Spike," she said with a pant, trying to catch her breath, "make a note: if we ever do this again, we need to make a tool especially for cutting through the sternum without risking damage to the organs." She passed him the garden shears. "Now, pass me the rib spreader. At least we managed to make that."

From the bag, Spike pulled out the requested tool. The main portion of it was two pieces of wood that fit together in the middle to make a square. On one side of the middle split, two pieces of metal stuck out, following the length of the seam about half way. A pair of long screws protruded from one side, connected to a set of gears that ended in a four point handle.

Taking it in her hooves, Twilight manually placed the rib spread against the cadaver's chest. With some adjustments and pushing, she slipped the metal pieces into the split of the sternum. Satisfied, her horn started to glow once again. Gripping the handle with her magic, she started to turn it. With each movement of the knob, the gears turned, spinning the screws. As they spun, they pushed the pieces of wood apart. The metal strips pressed against the sides of the cut sternum, slowly forcing them apart. The rib cage spread open, exposing the organs underneath.

"There we go," Twilight said to herself. Releasing the handles, she turned her power to the lungs and heart. The rose colored aura engulfed the organs, checking them over.

"The lungs are still viable," she announced, "but there's some perforation to the heart's right ventricle. Seems we'll have to use one from a different donor. Spike, pass me a fresh scalpel -- one of the smaller ones -- and get the jar out."

"Yes, master," Spike grumbled. Reaching into the satchel, he pulled out a large jar and set it on the exam table beside Twilight. He then turned his attention back to the pouch of medical tools, picking up a scalpel with a smaller blade and giving it to her.

Choosing to ignore the dragon's sarcasm, Twilight took the fresh scalpel in her magical grip and began to work. A single, smooth slice, and the trachea was severed. Veins and arteries were bisected as far from the capillaries as possible. Twilight was as careful as possible. Perforating the lung would make the effort obsolete as they would no longer be viable.

Once the last piece of connective tissue was separated, Twilight carefully lifted the lungs from the chest cavity, and placed it into the jar. She stared a second waiting.

The lungs expanded, filling with air, then contracted to expel it.

"Good," Twilight said with a sigh of relief. "Now we just need to get a heart."

The process started the same as before. Twilight went from pony to pony, reading the information until she found one she thought would suffice. This time, the "donor" was an earth stallion that was very large and muscular, who died of exsanguination due to a severed artery. Once again, Twilight took the scalpel and cut along the edges of the rib cage, severing the tissue from the bones. Once she cut through the tissue of the breast, she used her magic to separate the flesh and pull it open, exposing the cage.

This time when Twilight took the gardening shears, she did not cut through the sternum. Instead, she cut through each individual rib as far from the middle as she could. With each one, there was a crack on the initial cut, a crunch as the jaws of the shears worked through, and a loud pop as Twilight twisted and pulled to sever the bone. She worked her way up, further and further, until reaching and cutting through the collar bone. The actions were mirrored on the other side, cutting, cracking, and twisting until the entire length had been completed.

Twilight lifted the top of the rib cage and set it aside. Once again she used her magic to check the required organ.

"It's still good," Twilight Sparkle announced, clapping her hooves together. "Congratulations, Mister Macintosh, you are about to become a part of scientific history."

I Give You LIFE

On a large, rocky plain far from any town stood an old mansion. Parts of the great stone walls cracked and crumbled, and some had even collapsed to expose what had once been inside. Patches of moss and vines of ivy grew, working to engulf the once great building.

If the few ponies that lived nearby -- most of them farmers -- were asked, most would know very little about the place. For most of them, the old place had been abandoned for as long as they could remember. There were stories, of course, most of which included death, blood, and monsters. Some claim that a wealthy stallion built the place for his family, only to later kill them all with an axe, and now their ghosts haunt the place. Others tell tales that the mansion had been home to a cult that worshipped some ancient evil entity along the lines of Nightmare Moon, Discord, or Tirek. According to the ponies that share this story, the cultist managed to conjure something that then tore them apart and ate their flesh, and now continues to linger with a dark energy among the ruins.

Whatever the case, practically no pony dares to go near the once majestic mansion. More so at night, and especially on dark and stormy nights.

And yet, word had spread that something new was going on there. None would dare to go near enough to find out what, exactly, but stories of lights being seen through the windows and at least one pony (and something else) coming and going had spread among the neighbors.

On this particular night, practically all ponies were in their homes. Even if there had been a moon out, it would have been impossible to see from the ground. A massive storm had been scheduled for tonight, with heavy rain, strong winds, and massive amounts of lightning.

It was this last part -- the massive lightning -- that had Twilight Sparkle so excited. Tonight was the night. Everything was in place. It would be the perfect opportunity to bring her greatest experiment to its final culmination.

Her horn glowed bright with power as she worked. The needle moved quickly, pulling the thread through the skin and muscle that made up the constructed creature's chest. Scissors waited in her magical grip nearby. It was a bit irritating for the process, slowing down to tie off each stitch, cut the thread, and repeat the process. Still, it was the method that was used in stitching by medical professionals, and it had the additional benefit that if one were to burst or tear, the others would remain unaffected.

It was the last part that she had to do. The heart and lungs that she had collected the night before had been inserted into the chest cavity and attached to the necessary parts. She had also wired the rib cage shut.

With a grin, Twilight Sparkle brought the scissors close and snipped the thread.

"Finished!" she announced. Smiling, she studied the culmination of all her work before her. Each part had been carefully selected and scanned, finding the healthiest, best developed, and proportionally appropriate pieces. It was almost perfect. If this worked, then the next time, Twilight would practice removing the skin of a pony in a single piece. Once that was done, she would be able to apply the skin over the muscles and tissue of her next creation, giving it a uniform fur pattern.

"Spike!" Twilight shouted, listening to the echo for a second.

"SPIIIKE!"

"SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!"

"WHAT?!" Spike shouted back.

"How's the storm looking?"

There was a massive kaboom of thunder, echoing throughout the old mansion.

"Does that answer your question?" Spike called out.

"Yes," Twilight shouted back. "Now open the roof and raise the platform."

"Work, work, work," Spike grumbled, moving to stand up. "Not even a 'thank you, Spike,' or 'good work.' No. It's just 'Spike, pass me that tool,' 'Spike, clean this up for me,' 'Spike, drink this experimental potion for me. You probably won't explode.'"

Grabbing a handle, he started to spin a large wheel. Each movement let out a click as gears turned and chains pulled. Inch by inch, large doors lifted, pulling up to reveal the heavily clouded night sky above them.

Lightning flashed and flickered above, thunder booming and rumbling. Droplets of rain fell through the air.

Once the roof was open, Spike stopped cranking the handle. He then moved to step into what was pretty much an over-sized hamster wheel. The young dragon moved forward, pushing hard with all his weight before the thing finally started moving. Once it had started, it was easier to keep going. Spike found his pace, making the wheel turn and turn. With each spin, the platform that held the table and Twilight Sparkle rose further up into the air.

Twilight grinned, her hooves tapping with her excitement as she found herself being raised higher and higher. Her horn glowed with power as she set the final pieces into place, getting ready for the climax of her planning.

A dome shield encompassed the platform, blocking out the rain to keep her dry. The protective barrier had been built to flow around a lightning rod, allowing it to pierce through and reach high above them. Taking a hold of the wires that were attached to the rod, Twilight began to attach them to strategic points on the body, focusing around the brain and heart.

After the ride up, Twilight and the table stood on a platform above the mansion, making it the tallest structure in the area. Lightning continued to flash high above, followed by the echo of thunder. The rain struck against the shield, pooling into droplets before rolling down along the barrier and falling to the ground far below.

Twilight Sparkle cast another spell, wrapping her magic around the wires and lightning rod. The metal glowed and pulsed, shifting with the magic energy engulfing it.

Perfect, she thought to herself as she looked up at the sky. Now we just need to have the lightning.

So she waited, and watched. The lightning flashed and jumped, in blinding bright colors of white, blue, and purple. Each was marked with the boom of thunder.

Minutes passed. Twilight shifted as they did, chewing her lip and trying not to pace. She continued to stare up at the sky.

"Come on," she whispered. "Come on, come on, come on. If this was a book or movie, it would have happened almost instantly."

After a total of nearly fifteen minutes, it finally happened. Numerous bolts of lightning struck the waiting rod, sending massive amounts of electricity through it. As it did, the lightning -- and remnants of pegasus magic from the storm -- mixed with the unicorn power, fusing together before reaching the body.

The patchwork pony on the table tensed and twitched as massive amounts of magical and electrical energy pulsed through the prone form. Limbs flexed and moved. The spine pulled and twisted.

The heart pulsed.

The lightning came to an end, the body dropping limply onto the table.

"Lower the platform!" Twilight Sparkle announced.

With a huff, Spike turned to face the other direction and started to turn the giant hamster wheel again.

The creature on the table gasped, it's chest swelling as it breathed in air.

"It's alive," Twilight whispered before shouting. "It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!"

The creature opened its eyes.

It opened its mouth, and screamed.

Presenting to the Princess

Princess Celestia flew through the late morning skies, high above Equestria. Her sun shined brightly down on her, warming her gleaming white coat and chasing away the chill. She scanned the ground below, her rose colored eyes taking in the details as she searched.

The princess felt... conflicted since she received the letter inviting her to visit. She cared very much for her former student, and was quite happy to hear from her. There was also curiosity as to what it was that the young unicorn wanted to show her. Twilight was always a brilliant filly, and could do amazing things when she put her mind to it. At the same time, Princess Celestia felt trepidatious about the matter. Twilight was brilliant, but also very obsessive. Once she set her mind to something, nearly nothing would discourage her. There was also an issue of Twilight sometimes resorting to questionable magic or practices to explore possibilities that had her interest. Granted, she normally claimed it was "solely for the sake of knowledge," but others would not be so willing to keep it as such.

What are you up to now, Twilight?

Catching sight of the mansion, Princess Celestia slowed down her flight as she came in for a landing. Her great white wings spread wide, holding it as she glided down. She gave one last flutter as her hooves touched the rocky ground, stopping herself as she went from flying to walking.

Before she had even taken a full step, the doors to the mansion opened and the familiar purple young mare came running out, a grin on her face.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight called out as she ran toward the princess. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"I am glad to see you again as well, Twilight," Princess Celestia said, leaning down to rest her neck against Twilight. "I am also quite curious to see what you have been working on since you have left my tutelage."

"Of course," Twilight said. Stepping out of the hug, she turned and started toward the mansion. "I'll show you immediately. Spike should have tea and cake ready when we are finished."

Princess Celestia smiled slightly to herself as she followed Twilight Sparkle. It seems that her former student had picked up some skills about proper hospitality and being a good hostess since leaving.

The interior of the mansion did not look much better than the exterior. The walls were crumbling, with small bits of vine and moss beginning to poke through the stones. There was no dust, but the air held a hint of dampness and mildew. The carpets that they walked on was frayed and worn, the stones underneath being visible in some spots. Similar claims could be made for what remained of the tapestries that hung from the walls. In some spot, only the tops of such things remained. There were no signs of any new furniture, or any for that matter.

Twilight seemed unusually quiet to the princess.

"So tell me," Princess Celestia stated, "what is it that you wish to show me? You had a great many ideas in mind when I last saw you."

"I need to show you first," Twilight replied, not looking back. "What I have done is so amazing, you wouldn't believe it unless you saw it for yourself."

That was an unexpected response, one that made Princess Celestia's eyes go wide with surprise. What could Twilight have possibly accomplished that made her think that the princess would not believe it unless actually seen? The possibility left Princess Celestia curious, and more than a little nervous. After all, this was the same unicorn who -- during an unexpected flare up of her power -- not only managed to hatch a dragon egg thought non-viable, but managed to make the hatchling spontaneously grow into adulthood (albeit temporarily), to say nothing of what she caused to occur to the other ponies in the room at the time.

It was when the pair had reached what Princess Celestia could easily identify as Twilight Sparkle's laboratory did things look different. The air no long smelled of must and mildew, but of antiseptic. The walls and floor were immaculate, or as much as they could be. There were multiple tables, including one that was covered in chemistry equipment. There was a set of free-standing shelves, filled to overthrowing with numerous books of varying ages, all focused around magic and science. Strangely, there was something covered by a large white sheet.

It was the last one that Twilight Sparkle made her way toward. Her horn glowed with power, taking a hold of the sheet. Once beside the object, she turned to face the princess, grinning widely.

"Princess Celestia, I present to you" -- she yanked the sheet off -- "my latest success."

Beneath the sheet was a cage. Inside was what looked like a pony.

Princess Celestia's eyes went wide and her wings flared out in surprise. Head down, she moved closer to get a better look at it. The pony-like creature was a stallion. It was on the large side, with thick muscles on its chest and limbs. Its (his?) mane hung down as it looked up, staring with wide eyes at the two ponies outside the cage. Each part of the creature's body was a different color, thick black stitches holding them all together. There were more stitches on the part of the chest that Celestia could see, as well as around the top of the thing's head.

"I call him Pitch-Patch," Twilight announced, grinning. "What do you think?"

Princess Celestia turned to look at her former student, eyes still wide as she tried to process what was before her.

"How... How..."

"How did I do it?" Twilight finished, grinning widely. "The hardest part was actually finding the proper parts. I used the parts from all three of the different pony types that I believe would be the most useful or effective. For instance, the lungs of a pegasus since they have to breathe in thinner atmospheres, the heart of an earth pony since they need to have strong circulatory systems for their muscles, and the digestive tract of a unicorn since we supposedly are more efficient at breaking food down into energy. Except the eyes. Those are from a griffon which are supposed to have better vision since they are predators.

"Once each part was collected and put together, I used the storm from last night. The raw electrical energy of the lightning and trace amounts of pegasus magic was mixed with my own unicorn magic as it entered the body, allowing it to be animated as a new, living, intelligent creature."

Twilight shifted.

"Well... I think he's intelligent at least. He seems to respond to stimuli and contact. He is able to make some grunts and noises, but can't actually speak. I think that it might be necessary for him to be re-taught how to talk among other things.

"So, what do you think?"

Princess Celestia stood there, staring between Twilight Sparkle and the creature dubbed Pitch-Patch. The princess' mind worked, processing all that she had been told. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"What you have done is impressive," she stated, turning to look at her former student once again. "However, when I suggested that you make some friends, I did not mean for you to do so literally."

Author's Note

That's it. That was the point of this whole thing. I pretty much created this entire story just so I could make that joke. The entire work was made solely to culminate into a single pun.