The Diamond Needle

by Greentea68

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy
Length: 3896

After reciving a bill from a fine Bart, Rarity must acuire 100,000 bit in order to save her Boutique. Unfortunately her business has hit a slow patch and she is unable to repay her debet. untell she makes a choive to do something very unladylike.

Rarity is a elegant mare. She is a mare of fashion, fine wine, generosity, and being a good "Complainer".
Rarity however is not by any means a wrestler, she finds the sport "silly" and "a good way to loose all of your teeth".
However desperate times call for desperate measures as they say. As her Boutique is quarantined and she is low on bits. Rarity must win the E.W chapionship's grand prize of 100,000 bits in order the repay the bill she received from a Avide Bâtard.
To do this she must become, The Diamond Needle.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-10 20:26:50 UTC

Chapter Two: Desperate times...

Rarity woke in a hospital bed and slowly opened her eyes, the sterile smell of the room flooded Rarity’s head as she took a deep breath.

A light brown unicorn stallion wearing a lab coat with light brown fur, a medium darker brown mane, dark turquoise eyes, and a cutie mark resembling a heart monitor entered her room.

“Ah, Ms. Rarity is it? How are you? I’m your doctor, Dr. Horse,” Doctor Horse greeted with a smile, who had a very deep voice.

“Yes I’m Rarity,” Rarity confirmed with a nod.

“Ah splendid. Now, let’s see what the damage is,” Doctor Horse said as he picked up the clipboard at the end of her bed. “Illness: Excessive vomiting…” Doctor Horse said as he saw a stained letter taped to the clipboard. “What’s this?” Doctor horse said aloud as he read the note.

Doctor Horse read the letter, shocked he then looked up and stared at Rarity “Oh my…”.

“How In Tartarus did you manage this…” Doctor Horse asked still staring at Rarity.

“What ever did you mean?” Rarity asked as she had forgotten what the letter said.

“You may want to read this yourself…” Doctor horse said as he passed Rarity the note.

Rarity read over the letter once again, “Bucket! Bucket!” Rarity demand as she tried to hold back her insides.

Doctor Horse threw an iron bucket at Rarity, it landed on her face with a clang moments before she threw up once again. “My, my. This is a problem, You appear to be suffering from D.I.D Deep In Debt It’s common in ponies who owe far to many bits to somepony.” Doctor Horse diagnosed as he wrote on his clipboard.

“Is there a cure?” Rarity asked with a hopeful look in her eyes.

“I’m afraid there is no known remedy. However, It will go away after four days,” Doctor Horse informed Rarity. “Until then, get friendly with that bucket,” Doctor Horse said as he proceeded to his next patient.

Doctor Horse stopped in the doorway then turned to face Rarity.

“Oh you appear to have visitors, shall I let them in?” Doctor Horse asked.

“Yes,” Rarity Replied sliding her puke filled bucket under her bed.

“Okay,” Doctor Horse then turned to flag over Rarity’s visitors. “Alright you can come in,” Doctor Horse informed Rarity’s visitors then continued to his next patient.

Twilight Sparkle was the first to enter the room. “Rarity! are you okay?” Twilight asked.

“Oh yes dear, just a stomach bug you see,” Rarity said as she threw an arm over her head.

“Well, it’s good to see you’re okay,” Twilight said as she pulled up a chair and let out a sigh.

“Indeed, by the way, did the doctor not say I had visitors?” asked Rarity putting emphasis on the s.

Twilight opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the slamming of a door and two arguing ponies moving toward the room.

“I told you! He’s The Villain! He can’t be beat!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“A boulder will move with enough muscle! An I reckon he can be beat!” Applejack argued.

“Save your breath Applejack, he hasn't lost a single match in 21 years!” Rainbow Dash argued back cementing her point.

“That may be. But ain't an oak pretty solid?” Applejack asked raising an eyebrow.

“What the heck are you talking about Applejack?” Rainbow dash asked slightly confused.

“I’m say’n an oaks tough, hardwood ya see, difficult to cut down. Yet, get somepony strong enough, n’ the tree falls,” Applejack explained sternly.

“Are you comparing The Villain to a tree?” Rainbow Dash asked blinking rapidly.

“I suppose I am.” Applejack said with a slight huff.

“Are you girls done arguing? Rarity’s room is over here,” Twilight said halting the argument  reminding them that they were here to see Rarity.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash proceeded to enter the room.

“Are ya gonna be alright?” Applejack asked Rarity.

“Oh I’ll be fine dear, I just ate a few stale clovers. Rarity replied waving a hoof.

“That’s not what you told me,” Twilight questioned, instantly grabbing Applejack and Rainbow Dash’s attention.

“You told me it was a stomach bug,” Twilight informed Rarity with a curious expression.

Rarity realized she had to stitch over her mistake and hope her friends would not notice the patch. “Oh, did I say bug? What I meant to say was I ate some bad clovers,” Rarity said with a grin that wasn’t fooling anypony.

“Rarity,” Applejack started “Don’t. Lie. To us,” Applejack said with a stiff attitude.

Rarity started to sweat, “Oh I’m not lying dears.”

“Really Rarity? Really?” Twilight pressed “You’re a worse liar then Applejack.”

“Exact- Wait…” Applejack shoot a glare at Twilight.

“Well It’s True!” Twilight said throwing both her hooves in the air.

“Hey guys what’s this thing?” Rainbow dash asked holding a slip of paper.

“Wait! Don’t read that!” Rarity objected extending a hoof.

“Why? Applejack asked snatching the letter from Rainbow Dash’s hoof.

Rarity searched for words.

“Lemme see that!” Twilight snatched it out of Applejack’s hoof.

Twilight started to read over the letter, as Applejack and Rainbow Dash leaned over her shoulder. “Do you mind?” Twilight said as she shot a mean look at the bickering duo.

“Oh! sorry bout that Twilight,” Applejack said as she stepped back.

Rainbow Dash took a little longer to respond, “Oh, oh ya! sorry Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said as she bounced back with a blush.

Twilight turned her head to the note, she had noticed the odd smell, which made the letter slightly harder to read.

“Dear sweet Celestia Rarity! How in Tartarus did you spend that much money on wine?!” Twilight asked with eyes wider than the grand canyon, and a mouth open so wide it would make any dentist proud.

This caught the attention of Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

“What? How much does she owe?” Rainbow Dash asked trying to guess the number in her head.

“Like 100,000,000 bits worth of wine! Vin À Une Stupide Prix to be exact.” Twilight explained as she looked down at the floor with a stunned expression.

“Isn’t that the most expensive wine in Equestria!?” Applejack and Rainbow dash yelled in perfect synchronization.

Twilight replied with a simple, “eyep…”

Applejack turned to Rarity, “how in tarnation did you even spend that many bits?!”

“Was it any good?!” Rainbow dash added, Twilight and Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash then turned back to Rarity and waited for her reply.

“Alright fine! you caught me, so maybe I did go a little over board. 100,000,000 bits can’t be that hard to make back right?” Rarity said with a hopeful smile.

There was a short pause, “well?” Rarity asked as her friends remained silent.

“Rarity…” Applejack spoke as she looked Rarity in the eyes. “You do know our farm only makes one-fourth of that in a year right?” applejack said with a disappointed expression.

Rarity turned to face Twilight. It took awhile for Twilight to realize that Rarity was looking at her. “You can’t be serious! I may be a princess but money doesn't come with the title! The only ponies I know who have the much money is the royal family!” Twilight explained with a frustrated tone.

Rarity then doubtfully turned to Rainbow Dash.

“What? Oh erm, ya. Look Rarity I would love to help you, we all would. But the most money I have even gotten my hooves on is about 10,000 bits, and that was for winning the young flyers competition back in Cloudsdale,” Rainbow Dash explained.

“Hold yer horses R.D. What did you just say?” Applejack asked as she sprang with energy.

“Huh? Oh, I was just telling her how she’s probably not going to get all of that money,” Rainbow dash said with a shrug.

“No no, the other thing. About the prize money!” Applejack explained to Rainbow Dash.

“Oh that! I was saying all it got was 10,000 bits in prize money,” Rainbow Dash answered not knowing where Applejack was flying.

“That’s it Rarity! you can enter a sewing competition! That oughta get you back on your hooves!” Applejack said ecstatically as Twilight and Rainbow dash nodded with agreement.

“Of course! You can make back your money by competing!” Twilight agreed wondering how the thought had never occurred to her.

“Well that thought never occur- oh…” Rarity started then the room fell silent.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight asked, “You make dresses all the time, what’s holding you back?” Twilight asked genuinely confused.

“Well…” Rarity said as she pulled back her bedroom certain as Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow Dash stepped forward; outside her window there were several ponies exiting the hospital. Although the thing that caught the everypony’s attention was Rarity’s boutique, as it was coated with a tick green mush and several ponies in yellow suits were circling the perimeter taking samples of the green mush.

“All of my sewing equipment is in there,” Rarity said as she too became a little green.

Twilight was once again stunned as her wings shot up, leaving Applejack and Rainbow Dash to aid Rarity.

“So... I guess sewing is off the list,” Rainbow Dash said blankly.

“Is there anything else you're good at?” Applejack asked as she turned her head.

“Well, not really. Here’s the morning paper,” Rarity said then levitated a newspaper out of her desk. “There might be something in there,” Rarity explained sitting herself up and gave the newspaper to Applejack.

“Alright let’s have a look see,” Applejack said as she read through the pages.

The ads were mostly cooking competitions & such that were in the 400-5,000 bit range; thus none of with came close to 100,000,000 bits.

Then one particular ad caught Applejack’s gaze, “Here’s One! 100,000,000 bits for winning the E.W!” Applejack said ecstatically, then remembered what Rarity does for a living.

“You expect me to become a wrestler?!” Rarity asked as she jerked back slightly, as if Applejack just asked her to kill somepony.

“Look ah’ know you don’t normally do this, but think about this Rarity. Do ya want to take a few hits to the teeth? or would ya rather be in debt for the rest of your life?” Applejack asked sternly, though she knew what she was telling Rarity was like asking for a tree to move.

“Absolutely not!” Rarity yelled, her woe-is-me state left, while her not-now-not-ever state had entered the room as she jumped out of her bed. “Asking a lady to wrestle is completely unorthodox!” Rarity said as she cemented her point.

“Hey! not all of the W.E are stallions! about 35% are mares!” Rainbow Dash added trying to help.

“That is beside the point Rainbow Dash!” Rarity explained with a scowl and a wave of the hoof.

“Then what is the point?! An don’t give me the excuse of” -Applejack did her best impression of Rarity- “this face was simply not build for such tasks,” Applejack said as she batted her eyes and flicked her hair to the side.

Well, she got me there, Rarity thought as she started to realize she was running out of excuses.

“Alright, I’ll do it!” Rarity said with a regretful tone as she looked down at the floor.

“Awsome! Rarity’s wrestler!” Rainbow dash shouted as she flew through the roof, Rarity and Applejack brushed the dust off of their bodys. Rainbow Dash hovered back down and rubbed the back of her head with a grin.

“I reckon we should skedaddle before were thrown out,” Applejack said starting on her way out.

“Agreed!” Rainbow Dash and Rarity said in sync as they followed Applejack down the hall.

“Oh! wait a second!” Rainbow Dash said as she bolted back to Rarity’s room.

“Eh Twilight, yo’ alright?” Rainbow Dash yelled at Twilight.

“The square route of 583478385749 is 763857.56902!!” Twilight screamed then she gasped.

Rainbow Dash blinked five times, “Ya, you're fine. Come on we’re leaving,” Rainbow Dash said with a wave.

“Hold on Rainbow! What happened?” Twilight asked.

“Long story short, Rarity became a wrestler to pay for booze,” Rainbow Dash said then bolted.

“Oh, oka- wait WHAT!?”

Chapter One: The Night That Bit Her In the Flank

“Sweetie Belle! would you be a dear and fetch the morning paper!” Rarity yelled from her dining table across her Boutique, then took a bite of her toast and sipped some tea.

“Aww do I have to? I have to meet Applebloom and Scootaloo at the tree house soon,” Sweetie Belle ask with a whine as she dragged three pairs of rubber gloves down the stairs.

“Yes Sweetie, your friends can wait a few moments,” Rarity said firmly as she looked over at Sweetie Belle then paused. “I’m Intrigued to ask, what are you three doing with those gloves?”

“We’re trying to get our medical cutie marks!” Sweetie Belle said with a grin that would make Pinkie Pie jealous.

Rarity squinted for a minute or two, then snapped out of processing mode. “Very well, if you are in such a rush just toss it in on your way out.” Rarity replied as she took a bite of her toast.

“Okay! Thanks sis!” Sweetie Belle said as she bolted from the building.

“Don’t forget the-” Rarity was then interrupted by a flying newspaper hurtling towards her. As it smacked her square in the face, knocking her out of her chair and spilling her tea.

Rarity then sat herself up holding a hoof the her face. “Young mare…” she said to herself as she levitated a cloth and cleaned the spilled tea and finished her toast. Rarity was having a slow month so she had little income but a lot of time to relax, which was rare in her line of business. Rarity put her cup and plate in the sink and washed them, then proceeded to the sitting room. “Right lets see the local hullabaloo,” Rarity said to herself as she went through the pages.

“Lets see… local mailmare Derpy found trapped in town well... Carousel Boutique shortage on vain ponies,” Rarity rolled her eyes. “100,000,000 bit prize for winning the E.W. championship, humpf! ruffians, what some ponies will do for a few extra bits.” Rarity continued to read the paper and talk to herself until she heard a knock on the door.

“Who could that be?” Rarity walked over to the door combing her hair as she went.

Rarity swung open the door, a gray mare with a blond mane, crossed yellow eyes, and bubbles for a cutie mark stood with a messenger bag over her shoulder. “Derpy! what a surprise! did they get you out of that well okay?” Rarity greeted.

“Oh hiya Rarity!” Derpy said happily, who sounded like her nose was clogged all the time. “Ya they got me out okay. I am a bit bruised though,” Derpy said as she put a hoof behind her head and blushed.

“Well it’s good to hear you were not too roughed up,” Rarity trailed off. “Do you happen to have any mail for me today?”

“Mail? Oh yes! The mail!” Derpy said as she remembered she was still working. “Here you go Rarity!” Derpy said as she pulled a few notes out of her bag.

“Thank you Derpy! Oh and, do try to stay out of that well from now on.”

“Will do!” Derpy said with a salute then flew off to her next job, she resembled a game of pong as she bounced between buildings to her next stop.

“I do hope nopony ordered any glass,” Rarity said as she went back inside flipping through her mail. “More bills, good thing I’m mindful with my bits.” Rarity opened the bills, It was the normal rate, bills for power, gas, delivery. Then Rarity found one she had not seen before. The letter had purple stains scattered across the surface, the return address read: Canterlot, 564 St.  box 12, Très Cher Établissement

Concerned, Rarity tore open the letter to read its contents. The letter read:

Madam Rarity.

We thank you for visiting Bar fantaisie très cher on your visit to Canterlot’s annual fashion show. We sent you this letter as a bill for buying our “Vin À Une Stupide Prix”. We thank your generous nature for purchasing all of our fine mares and gentlecolts limitless drinks for the night. We also hope you had a very pleasant night with that stallion, he seemed to be very impressed by your wealth. We hope to see you again.

~ Avide Bâtard

Vin À Une Stupide Prix

quantity 640

Bill $74,805,750*

September/16/2014

*Please send the required bits in-person you will be granted 2 weeks to complete the transaction.

Rarity felt her head spin as she held a hoof to her stomach. She then grabbed the closest ice-cream bucket and proceeded to throw-up, Rarity pulled her head out of the bucket then read the letter over again, then repeated the action.

Six hours later, Sweetie belle started coming home with Applebloom and Scootaloo. All of them had a slight frown and they were looking at each other akwardly.

“That was…” Scootaloo broke the silence.

“I erm…” Applebloom tried to reply.

“Oh come on guys It was not that bad!” Sweetie Belle tried to say confidently.

“Really? We just permanitly stiched a banana inside sompony's ear! And I think we left a water bottle in his chest!” Scootaloo said as she shot a discusted look at Sweetie Belle.

“Eh, could have gone worse I'm shure he'll live,” Sweetie Bell said rolling her eyes.

Applebloom attempted to defuse the situation, “Look girls, I think we should all try and get our forgetting cutie marks now. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both said in perfect synchronization.

The trio continued walking for a while until they noticed a foul smell in the air, it smelled like a field of rotten vegetables that had be sitting out for an entire summer.

“Y’all smell that?” Applebloom asked covering her muzzle.

“Ya it smells like that somepony took a bath in rotten eggs, then dried off in a pool of skunks,” Scootaloo said covering her muzzle trying not to lose her lunch.

Sweetie Belle tried to locate the origin point of the smell.

“It smells like it’s coming from my sister’s place,” Sweetie Belle said surprisingly not phazed by the smell.

“You don’t mind the smell?” Applebloom asked trying hard to not imagine what smell could be worse than the one she was presently smelling.

“I have a feeling I know what’s going on,” Sweetie Belle said as she started walking toward her house, Applebloom and Scootaloo followed close behind. As they walked the smell grew more intense. If one was looking around, one would see that nopony but the three fillies where on the street; it also did not help that the pegasi scheduled fog for the evening that gave an ominous setting to the ordeal.

A cream colored stallion with a brown mane and tail with light chocolate colored hooves and a five o'clock shadow with a microscope cutie mark was curled in the fetal position beside the front door to Rarity’s Boutique. He was mumbling something to himself  “How is that possible…” and “It defies the very fabric of space-time…” he said rocking back and forth.

The three fillies walked up to the door, Sweetie Belle reached for the door knob but the cream pony slammed his hoof in front of the door holding it in place. The cream pony slowly turned his head, he shot a dead, lifeless stare at Sweetie Belle “Turn back,” the cream pony said then continued to rock, retracting his hoof.

The three ponies looked at each other, then with a synchronized nod they opened the door.

The door made a loud hiss as it opened, it was pitch black inside. the cream pony shrieked at the sound then fled. The smell now was almost unbearable, as Applebloom and scootaloo threw their heads in a nearby bush as a splattering sound could be heard. Sweetie Belle still not affected by the smell, continued onward.

“ARE YOU CRAZY?!” Scootaloo yelled stopping Sweetie Belle in her tracks as she turned her head to face Scootaloo.

“You will DIE if you go in there!” Scootaloo objected before throwing-up once again.

“Do I look like I mind?” Sweetie Belle asked raising an eyebrow.

Applebloom pulled her head out of the bush, “How in tarnation can you not notice the smell?!” she managed to say before joining Scootaloo.

“Magic,” Sweetie belle replied with a blank expression.

“Well can you cast a spell to stop us from smelling this?!” Scootaloo said as she wiped some vomit from her mouth.

“Ya! Do us to!” Applebloom said trying to keep her balance.

Sweetie belle thought about the request for a moment “Umm, nah.”

 Before either Scootaloo or Applebloom could reply Sweetie belle was already swallowed by the darkness, as they both gaged once again.

Sweetie belle walked through the house using a candle spell as a light source.

The floor was covered in a odd green leafy slush and the wallpaper was peeling.

“Rarity! are you okay?!” Sweetie Belle called out.

“Sw- Sw- Swe-” Rarity’s voice was halted by a splatter.

“Where are you?!” Sweetie Belle called out once again.

“Th- th- re-” Rarity was interrupted by splattering once more.

Sweetie Belle pieced together that she was most likely trying to say she was in the rest room. Sweetie Belle went up the stairs down the hall to the bathroom door, the same green slush was leaking from the bottom of the door.

“I’m coming in!” Sweetie Belle warned before opening the door, a flood of vomit painted the halls as Sweetie Belle trudged in. There leaned over an overflowing toilet was Rarity, her crystal white coat was stained and her mane was a mess.

“Sweetie go get he…” then Rarity passed out with her head in the bowl.

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes as she slid Rarity though the halls, down the stairs, and out the door closing it behind her. Rarity’s coat by now was more green and stained then its normal white.

“What happened?!” Scootaloo asked shocked by the state of Rarity.

“I don’t know but it must be bad, or as Rarity would put it ‘Of all the worst things that could happen, this is the! Worst! Possible! Thing!’ ” quoted Sweetie Belle holding a hoof to her chest and speaking in an elegant tone.

“Do y’all think we should get her to the Hospital?” asked Applebloom.

“Nah let her suffer for a bit,” Sweetie Belle said with a evil grin.

“You can’t be serious! Look at the state of her!” Scootaloo shouted whilst pointing a hoof at Rarity.

“Of course I’m not serious featherbrain! now with where was the Hospital?!” Sweetie Belle said with a glare.

“I remember! I’ll go get somepony!” Applebloom said then bolted.

“Right! I will go get some ice!” Scootaloo eagerly said.

“Ice?” Sweetie Belle questioned.

“Ya ice! Cheerilee always gets ice when I hurt myself!” Scootaloo said happily

“Okay... if you think it will help,” Sweetie Belle said with a questioning expression.

“Sweet! I’ll be back soon!” Scootaloo said as she trotted off.

Sweetie Belle noticed that everypony had left, so she put a hoof on Rarity’s forehead and took her temperature, as she felt that this would be what Rarity would do if she was sick.