Extra, Extra!

"I'll admit, I'm jealous," Emmett said, not looking up from his game of AngelRing. On the television, his vision danced against Ee-sang's. From what Print could tell, Ee was somewhere in a tower on a beach, while Emm was plodding around on the ground trying to find him; Print had tried his hoof a few times, but he was no match for either of them. A crack issued from the speakers. Emmett's half of the screen panned out onto his dead body, and he glanced at Ee-sang with disgust. The green colt shoveled a hoof-full of snack crackers into his muzzle and grinned.

"Alien sniper..." he muttered. Ee's sardonic grin grew wider. While Emmett respawned somewhere far away, he turned around to look at Print.

"Can I have her?" he asked, his smug, toothy smile fading to a more genuine grin. Print was taken aback.

"What...? Y-You mean Sh-Shooting Star?" he stammered. Ee turned back to the game, leaping off his tower, favoring running around with a sword instead.

"No shit," he said amiably. Catching his mistake, he looked around the room for Mr. Cycle. Luckily, he was out making copies or something. Ee-sang took another hoof-full of crackers, and shifted his focus back to the game, not much caring about Cometsong's scowling at his language. Emmett's avatar crossed into his vision, and he shuffled a bit in his seat, running after him silently. Emmett didn't seem to notice.

"I mean..." Print said. "If you can convince her to date you after the prom, sure; I really don't care who dates her. But unless you want to take her to the prom instead of me, we’re sort of going as friends"

"What if I found you a stallion?" Ee-sang said casually, charging at Emm's back, killing him instantly. The griffon squawked in surprise and anger, once again turning to the short colt and muttering curses in broken Neighponese. Cometsong groaned comically from behind Mr. Cycle's desk, burying her face in her hooves behind a stack of papers.

"You know taking a colt is against the rules," she croaked, obviously annoyed.

"Yeah," Ee said mischievously, "But he looks just like a filly. Sometimes he wears filly's clothes."

Print shook his head.

"I'm not... I like stallions, not... Fillycolts," he spat.

"Suit yourself,” Ee said, rolling his eyes.

"A-haaaaa!" Emmett cried, bouncing a bit in his seat, clutching his controller more tightly. He leaned forward more in enthusiasm, and over his back, Print was able to see that he had gotten into some sort of floating vehicle. It wasn't long before he was back on top of Ee-sang's avatar, doing his best to run it over. A few short boosts... and Ee's character flopped across the ground, dead. Emmett and Ee looked at each other, Emmett's eyes narrowed and his beak pinched in a self-satisfied smirk.

"Splattered," he said, holding up a claw as if to hand something to Ee-sang. The colt just shrugged and waited to respawn. Emm cackled evilly. "Why is it against the rules to take another colt to prom?" he said in vengeful mirth. "Fillyfoolers get to go, right?" Cometsong got up, stalking over to the huddle around the TV.

"There are more fillies than colts, and there always have been. Probably always will be," she said. "Mares together has been seen as natural since... When would you say, Print? The Vernic Wars?"

"Probably around there, yeah," Print said, not quite sure. History wasn't his best subject; he liked it, but the dates just never stuck. He had only managed to skate by in that class because his essays and exams were so well-written. Nonetheless, he didn’t want his friends to think he was stupid, so he pretended he knew.

"So the ratio of mares to stallions has always been about six to one. It just makes sense that mares would pair off and find love together. But since stallions are in such high demand..."

Ee-sang snorted, and muttered something about how I had never helped him. Comet glared at him, but continued: "...their homosexuality is really discouraged."

"Cultural materialism," Ee posited.

"Precisely," Cometsong agreed. Emmett clucked as he ran over Ee-sang's avatar again.

"Sounds like the same reasons nobody likes any same-sex stuff in the Kingdom," he mused.

"Prrretty much," Print sighed. ‘Why couldn't things be different?’ he thought. Almost everyone in school was fine with how he was, and most liked him, in fact, but society at large still wasn't ready for him yet.

"It's okay, Print," Cometsong reassured him, putting a hoof on his shoulder. "You'll find somepony. I'll help you."

Print smiled gratefully for a moment before he was interrupted by a jarring cry from Ee-sang.

"Ha!" he shrieked. "Back on top!"

Print didn't even need to look at the screen to know what happened.

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" came the comedically-prolonged cry from Emmett, who dropped the controller and backed over to the computer, doubtless to brood while playing some obscure Neighponese indie game. Neither his expression nor his mock-shriek changed during his whole walk across the room. Print and Comet stifled giggles at his usual coping technique, while Ee called over, completely dead-faced and serious: "Hey, Emm, want some Goldfish?"

Print looked at his hoof in abject disbelief, only now noticing that the crackers from before were, in fact, goldfish crackers. Unable to control himself, he burst out laughing, nearly falling over in a fit of giggles. Cometsong scarcely contained herself better, leaning against a desk and wheezing. Emmett's eyes narrowed, and he stolidly refused to tear his eyes from the monitor, but his fluffing feathers told the whole story.

"It wasn't my fault," he pouted as his nimble claws danced over the keyboard.

"It so was!" Print giggled, pointing a hoof. Ee-sang triumphantly turned back to the TV, choosing the Gameprism over the Y-Box so that Print could play Smack Brothers with him this time. Emmett had no reply, simply hunching over the keyboard as he grumbled.

"So you honestly don't mind taking a mare?" Cometsong asked casually as the game booted up.

"SURVIVAL!" blared the TV.

"It's either that or stay home, I guess," Print said, dejected, as he absentmindedly selected his favorite character, Commander Hawk.

"You do enough clopping as is," Ee-sang said off the cuff, choosing the swordspony, Mark.

"What?! No, I mean... I don't clop, I..." Print said, flushing and waving his hooves. Cometsong raised an eyebrow skeptically. The game started, and Print was caught unawares, taking a few hits from Ee before he even looked at the TV. "Nice," he spat sarcastically before picking his controller back up.

"So let me get this straight," Comet said. "You're willing to share with us that you're gay. You've admitted that you have a crush on Soarin the Wonderbolt. You basically told us that you want the d. But you won't admit that you clop?" she finished.

"Umm, I, uh..." Print stammered, blushing. On the screen, Ee's character combo'd Print's to death. "I'm..."

"Come on, dude, I clop," Ee-sang said, still focused on the game. "Prodigiously."

"I clop," Cometsong said encouragingly. Print just began to sweat and stammer at the unbid thought of his friends clopping off. It wasn't something he had thought about before, and he was extremely uncomfortable in overt sexuality.

"I... I mean, just, like... No...?" he stammered, blushing even harder. His face felt hot and his hooves trembled, barely able to hold his controller.

"Everyone does it!" Ee insisted. "Even Emm sticks his dick in dead goldfish from time to time."

"YOUUUUUUU!" came the comic shriek from computer, the griffon pointing accusingly at Ee-sang, his feathers all fluffed, and his wings flared in disgruntlement.

"It actually sounds sort of nice," Ee said, making a mock concession. "As long as you warm them up first."

Emmett's claw dropped. His wings folded back into his side slowly as a sign of defeat; his face was a mask of anger and verklempt. He had no immediate retort, so resumed grumbling while playing his game. Cometsong stifled a giggle, and even Print managed a nervous laugh.

"So, how about it?" Comet pressed, after a moment.

"He's probably into some embarrassing stuff, if he's this nervous about it," Ee-sang said before Print could answer. His character on screen had lost yet another life while scarcely touching Ee.

"I'm... I'm not into..." he muttered.

"Griffons, I'll bet," Ee pressed.

"No, I-" Print protested weakly.

"Ooh, paws and claws and feathers," Comet swooned. "Or he could be into BDSM or something..."

"Ha, yeah!" Ee-sang laughed derisively. "I can see him swinging from some chains, all covered in leather."

Cometsong and Ee-sang had such a laugh that Print began to get mad.

"Bukkake?" Ee suggested.

"Petplay?" Emmett grunted from across the room, grudgingly finding the conversation funny enough to join in again.

"Yeah, he likes to pretend to be a pet goldfish," Ee snarked.

"YOUUUUUUU!" Emmett fumed. "SONOFABROODMARE!"

"Or maybe watersports?" Cometsong suggested. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Print's hooves stopped shaking, and he tensed up. He landed an amazing string of moves of Ee-sang's character, ending with a flying buck to the face.

‘Show me ya hooves!’ Commander Hawk taunted.

"I'm not into any of that!" Print barked, dropping the controller. "Except griffons," he added under his breath. "It's none of your business what I like, and I don’t like you guys treating my sex life like it's publicly traded information!"

"Alright, alright, sorry," Ee-sang said smoothly, clearly trying to calm Print down more than anything. Comet and Ee shared a look of acceptance, realizing they’d taken a joke too far. Cometsong put a hoof on his shoulder.

"Hey, Print, it's okay. I'm sorry we pushed you; we thought you were having fun," she said, looking him in the eyes. Print sighed and hung his head.

"I shouldn't have gotten so angry," he chided himself. "I'm going to have to get used to this eventually."

"How come?" Comet asked.

"People are going to ask about how things went with Shooting Star after the prom, you know? We all know what the trope is..." he said.

"She wouldn't make you... She couldn't!" Cometsong reassured him, surprised. "Print, you're gay, and everypony knows it. Not to be blatant about it... But most ponies knew before you came out."

"Wow, that gay?" Print asked, looking back up at her. He never thought of defining himself by his sexuality, but being recognized for it, and being validated felt good.

"Really gay," she said, nodding. "There's no way she would make you have sex with her after prom, just to fulfill some social expectation."

"Yeah..." Print agreed, still unsure, but feeling better.

"But be careful," she cautioned. "I don't think she would, but you know her better than I do."

"Doesn't say much," commented Emmett.

"Yeah..." Print said, feeling a little more confident. Shooting Star was his friend in middle school. Even if she did still have some feelings for him, she had her pick of the litter in terms of colts at her school. No reason for her to force him into anything; she was being honest the whole time.

"Are you still playing?" Ee-sang asked, drawing Print's attention back to the TV. Cometsong withdrew her hoof, smiling. She leaned in as if to kiss him, but whispered in his ear: "I like griffons too."

She pulled back, giggling, ignoring Print's blushing face as she flounced away. Print shakily turned back to the TV, realizing the gravity of what he'd let slip. A nervous glance at Ee confirmed his suspicions. The green colt resumed the game, and resumed his slaughter of Print's character. In the middle of a combo, he quietly asked: "Do you like Emmett?"

"Not like that," Print breathed.

"Good," Ee replied, relieved. "I'd feel bad for you if you did."

"Oh, I'd feel bad for anypony who did," Print snickered, mashing buttons as best he was able.

"His shitty Neighponese..." Ee spat.

"His beard..." Print agreed.

"The goldfish..." Ee murmured.

"The fedora..." Print said.

And, both at once: "Yuck!"