"Funner" Isn't A Word, Imbecile

by Pony With A Hat

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1033

Sweetie Belle discovers that her diction is above all others. What does she use it for? To insult Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara, of course!

Sweetie Belle discovers that her diction is above all others. What does she use it for? To insult Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara, of course!

Additional Tags
-Pseudo-Intellectualism
-Sweetie Belle, The Great And Powerful Dictionary

Author's Notes
The amount of fun I had writing this slice of pie…..

Edited…Again!
By Me, Myself & I.
-Fixed the your and you're situation that everyone so dearly disdained.
-Replaced some words with better word choice
-didn't give a flying *@#$ about the french toast thing. Let your imagination wonder!
-I'm Going to punch myself in the face for every error I miss repeatedly. I've already done it twice.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-27 02:20:04 UTC

Your Puerile Mind Is Nothing Compared To Mine

'I've sat through the same half-baked torture for years now. This day, however, I intend to switch roles with my torturers. By the time I'm done, they will lack all cognitive ability to fight back verbally and they will know what it's like! Or, at least embarrass them. Yeah, that'll be good enough, I'm not a monster after all!' Sweetie Belle thought, looking into the mirror. Her messy mane was colliding with her bemused glare. She locked eyes with her mirrored image. She brushed through her hair using her levitation ability she'd picked up on only a few months ago. After she was done, she hopped downstairs and sat at the table, where Rarity had placed some french toast and a note that said she 'was going to help her friend Twilight with something'. She ate the toast, grabbed her saddle bags, and flew out of the door.

The day was relatively sunny with a chill in the air. She took a deep breath, and marched to school. She met her friends halfway there and they brainstormed ideas on cutie mark ideas and whatnot. They trotted over the hill, revealing the red school house over yonder with it's usual bell placed on the spine of the roof towards the north end of the building. The fillies and colts chattered and played around the yard until that fateful bell chimed thrice. This caused them all to flood into the building and take their usual seating arrangements.

Sweetie placed her saddle bags under her chair and pulled out the appropriate, multi-subject tools. A pencil, note pad, and a good piece of literature on the side when reading time approached, which usually came right before lunch. The school day went by without a hitch. No problems occurred, all except for one, which Sweetie Belle anticipated and was ready for.

Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara shoved the Cutie Mark Crusaders aside in a rather rude manner on the bridge they seemed to always have their childish disputes on.

"Move aside, Blank-Flanks!" Silver Spoon said, causing a childish smirk to emit from Diamond Tiara.

"Hey! We may not have our cutie marks, but at least we ain't jerks!" Apple Bloom told them.

"Oh I bet!" Diamond Tiara said sarcastically.

"Speaking of which, we're having a party! Too bad you're not invited!" Silver Spoon mocked.

Something finally broke in Sweetie Belle. "SILENCE!" She shouted, her voice cracking a bit.

Diamond and Silver flinched at the random outburst.

Sweetie Belle was livid. She trotted up to them, her light green eyes piercing what felt like their very soul. "Listen here, you imbeciles, a party isn't a party unless you invite people! Which, I do declare, you don't!" She said with a sneer.

Diamond Tiara scoffed. "It's more funner that way!" She cried ignorantly.

"Funner isn't a word, you idiot! Your father spends all that money making daddy's little filly so happy but he can't invest in making sure you have a brain cell!" She shouted.

"O-oh yeah? Well you're stupid!" Silver Spoon said.

"Says the girl only wearing glasses TO LOOK MORE INTELLIGENT, YOU DUMB A-" She was about to finish, but a dark shadow loomed over her.

She pivoted to see what was creating such a thing. Miss Cheerilee, the school teacher, had a annoyed expression on her face. "Sweetie Belle, inside, now!" She told her with a stern tone.

"What in the absolute HECK were you doing out there?" Cheerilee's voice both raised and irate sounding.

"I was giving them a piece of my mind! After all, they need some." She told her without regret.

"Sweetie Belle, I know they tend to be a bit bothersome, but you can't let that get to you like it did today. Now go home and get some rest for tomorrow. We're dividing fractions!" Cheerilee's expression changed from angry to placid.

"Yay..." Sweetie belle cheered in a monotone voice, showing that she wasn't really happy about it. She hated math. Now don't get her wrong, she could do it! Though, she showed great disdain towards it.

She had a dream later that night that she continued that sentence with out Miss Cheerilee interrupting. When she awoke, her sister, Rarity, loomed over her with a glare of disgust.

"Er, what?" Sweetie Belle asked, not sure whether to feel guilty about something or not.

"I haven't a clue what you're dreaming, but keep that vulgar language out of this household young missy!" Rarity scolded. With that, she exited the room in a huff.

Sweetie Belle got it now. She face hoofed when she realized she must have finished the sentence aloud in her sleep. She did her usual morning ritual. Afterwords, she completed the day with ease, then got half way across the bridge before being halted by none other than Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara.

"Hey, you!" Silver Spoon pointed to Sweetie Belle.

"Ugh, what?" Sweetie Belle didn't make eye contact with them.

"We want you to hang with us! You're mean, and we like that!" Diamond Tiara said.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shot a weird look at the 'dynamic' duo and then to Sweetie Belle. Were they seriously trying to make her their friend after she bashed them brutally the day before?

Sweetie Belle took a deep breath. Thus, leaving the two groups silent for just a moment. "Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon..." As she began, they leaned in.

"...I have a brain that could cure cancer; why would I waste my cognitive ability combining it with your puerile minds?" She finished, making eye contact at the last moment with both of them.

"Er, what?" Silver Spoon asked.

"Here, let me give you the simplified version: You're stupid, I'm not. I'm afraid we don't mix." She scoffed, walking away with her head held high. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were yelling childish insults at her as she walked with her friends to their head quarters on Sweet Apple Acres.

Sweetie Belle simply smiled at the incoherent babbling of the two stuck up fillies. As they crossed the bridge and walked the dusty trail into town, a dark figure loomed over Sweetie Belle.

"Sweet Celestia..."