The Crap Mothers Have To Go Through
It was a normal day, as most are in Ponyville, the bustling streets, nothing out of the ordinary. Button Mash was walking along, playing on his Joyboy, bumping into a pony every once in awhile, not realizing what he was walking towards.
"Come on Button, look out where your going, you going to hurt somepony!" Button's mom exclaimed as they were walking towards the store.
"Erm.. Gotta beat Tirek... DIE YOU FIEND!!!!" Button roared, drawing the attention of many ponies causing his mom to blush.
"BUTTON! What did i say about screaming about defeating Tirek in public?"
"Uhhh, i dunno." Said Button, still fiercely playing his game. But then, his mother snatched the game from him, causing button to go into and yell "WHAT THE HAY!!!!"
"I already told you last time that if you did it again, i was going to take it away, you can have it back when we get home"
"Oh come on! I was about to beat Tirek the Tyrant!" Complained Button.
"I am going to put this into my saddlebag, you can have it back when we get home, until then, help me shop, you might learn something." Little did Button's mom know, he was going to learn a valuable lesson that day.
Button was bored, as he usually was when he wasn't on his game. Button was walking around with his mother, not doing much, other than listening to the rantings of how she was telling him how to shop in the stores, and find the best things for the best deals. "Why does she even drag me along anyways, it's not like i need to be here anyways"
"And that's why you must always check the nutrition facts on the food, ok my little Button?"
Button looked down with a bored look upon his face, he didn't reply to his mother, just kept walking. As they were walking down the Aisle, heading for the checkout, Button saw some very interestingly colored packages, small boxes. He didn't know why they intrigued him, they were just boxes, maybe it was the colorful advertising. "3 Latex Condoms" he read to himself off of one of the boxes. Button now realized, he didn't know what a condom was! He decided to ask his mother, but he was wondering what all of the boxes were. He read them carefully "Fire and Ice, Extra Ribbed, and Extra Lubed. I wonder what the lubricant is for, could it be for my gaming controller!? Maybe it can make it move faster so i can beat Tirek! And the fire and ice one might make it blazing fast while not overheating!" He then pondered for a moment at the thought, but he couldn't think of what "Extra Ribbed" meant. "Mom?"
"Yes dear? She said while putting the groceries on the counter for the checkout mare to price her items.
"Whats a condom?"
Button's mother's face turned bright red as she looked at the cashier, who looked as if she was going to die of laughter, and a few other ponies were watching to see as of how this would go. Seeing the eying ponies, she tried to glare at them t ward them off, but it was no use, they were watching her until this ended.
"Well honey... Umm"
"Whats the difference between Extra Ribbed and Extra Lubed?" Button asked with a questioning tone in his voice.
"Umm, honey can i please tell you later?" She said as she glanced down to him, only to see him look back up at her with a look of ferocity.
"But i wanna know now!" Button replied fiercely, "Whats Fire and Ice?" Button asked again.
The checkout mare nearly died, the rest of the ponies around her all turned a bright red as she looked at them. She could feel the blood running to her cheeks, she was blushing a bright red. "Button, um, listen, this REALLY isn't the place to be asking such things." She said trying to get button to take the hint
"But why not? And whats Wet and Wild?"
The checkout mare again started to bag their items, but couldn't resist watching them, nor could any of the other ponies nearby.
Button's mom couldn't take it any longer, but then a voice said, "You know, you should just tell him." an older voice had said.
She turned to see an older stallion, about her age, forty something by the looks of him. "Well why here, in the middle of everypony?" She asked, trying to be as quiet as possible.
"Moooooom!"
"In a minute Button..."
"You should tell him because it would save you the time and embarrassment, think about it, if you told him, it would be over with, everyone would just shrug it off anyways." Said the stallion, who was motioning towards Button.
"Alright sweetie, you remember the talk between me and you about the Birds and the Bees? Well, when the two come together, and they want to... You know, and they don't want to have a foal, the stallion puts that on his... You know, so they don't have a foal."
That was it, the crowd couldn't take it anymore, everypony died of laughter. The only thing that could be heard other than the laughter at the moment was Button's mom yelling "Really!?!?" at the stallion, who was now dieing of laughter as well.
"What? It was funny!" He said.
"Errrrrhg. Here take this." Button's mom handed the checkout mare the money and rushed out of the store, leaving a trail of laughter behind, as button incessantly questioned her the whole way back to their home.