Bad Company

by JBGrim

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Random
Length: 1906

You know those people your parent's never wanted you to hang with? The prankesters and trouble makers? Yeah, them. We'll, that pretty much describes Malnormala the shape shifter perfectly. And now he's been banished to equestria.

Malnormala, Maln to his friends was just a harmless shape shifting entity on New Earth. Well, that is if you count impersonating government officials, robbing banks disguised as cops, and arranging lunch's with your fiends with out you knowing as harmless. Okay, so he was, is, kind of a jerk. And that's why The Council decided to banish him from the dimension. Him landing in Equestria was a complete accident, honest.

Well, now that he's loose in Equestria, a land that does not know of him, what's he going to do? Why, go right back to his old way's again. Except this time, he has some new friends tagging along. Joy.

Warning!This is my first attempt at comedy. I have no real clue what I'm doing. Also, human tag is there only because Maln looks like a human every now and then. There are no actual humans in this fic.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-29 04:10:08 UTC

The First Chapter, or, Dear God; Not Another Story

In a room illuminated by only a single glowing light, a trial was being held.

“. . . and so, it is with much relief that this council votes to banish the shape shifting entity known as Malnormala from this dimension. Now, if noone has any objections. . .”

“Me, I have so many objections to this!” The shape shifting entity known as Malnormala objected loudly.

“None?” The leader of the council of sorcerers and scientists, whose name is Creg, asked around the room.

“Fuck you too.”

“Then let us carry out the sentence.” As one, eight of the thirteen council members stood up, their forms obscured by the dark room, and raised their hands. Magical energies coalesced into a giant, magical fist that came crashing down on the figure in the center of the room. . . only to stop right before it would hit him. Opening his eyes slowly, Malanormala had closed them expecting pain, he looked at the magical fist in confusion.

He only had time to let out a indignant, “Oh come on,” before it flicked him.

Hard.

lb

What most ponies, and indeed most of the intelligent races of Equestria, did not know about the breezies was that, much like ponies, there are different kinds of breezie. There are, of course, the normal ‘butterfly’ Flutterzies that collect pollen much like the insect that gave them their name, then  there is also the Mothzies that were commonly mistaken for there butterfly named cousins though they are normally of a darker color, and often fluffier, which is a point of pride.

Then there are the more uncommon, and some say nonexistent, minorities of the breezies. There are Dracozies, breezies that are more reminiscent of dragonflies having four large wings and thin, bony legs and lack the antenna of their cousins. The horned breezie, a type of breezie similar to the rhinoceros beetle, being larger and stronger than other types, while also having a large horn on their snout.

Perhaps the rarest, and deadliest, of the breezie family, are the two types known as the Horrorzies, or Arachnizies. While grouped together, there are two distinct types.  The “Deadly Lady”, the result of a breezie being bitten by a black widow spider. These poor souls loose their wings, assuming they have any, and gain four more legs. Their fur turns black, a red hourglass forms on their body, and most importantly, they begin to desire the blood of their fellow breezie. Luckily this form is rare, as most breezies avoid spiders on principle, and even then only female breezies are affected.

On the other side of the spectrum, all male breezies fear the wolf spider, as its bite will cause the breezie to go feral, joining with other inflicted to form packs that hunt small creatures. Much like the “Deadly Ladies” the “Feral” loses it’s ability to fly and gains four more legs, however, unlike the sleek Deadly Lady, Ferals have ragged fur. The color of the fur ranges from grey to black. Both species gain sharp fangs in their mouth.

lb

In the light of the full moon, deep in the Black Forest at the base of Unicorn Rang, a young lunar mothzie, a subspecies of mothzies, was making her way back home after a rather successful night of poker at a (now former) friends house. With her puffy silver fur covering her entire body and silver blue eyes and glowing furry antenna, plus the large (compared to her) sack of gold, she made quite the sight as she drunkenly flew through the forest.

“I love it *hic* when *hic* Seabreeze forgets he’s sitting in front of a mirror. Almost *hic* almost as much as Mins nector!” The breezie, known as Feino, giggled in a very much intoxicated manner as she continued on her drunken flight towards her house.

Floating along on the breeze, in the dark of night, and drunk, Feino never noticed that instead of landing on the front porch of her tree house, she landed on the face of the exiled shifter who had crashed into her house. Yawning, Feino closed her eyes and promptly passed out, drifting off into a world where nector flowed like water, and her annoying stalker Fig left her alone.

And everything was perfect. Until her impromptu ‘bed’ woke up.

lb

‘Ugh, I hate that just been banished feeling in the morning.’ Maln thought to himself as he slowly came to. His whole body was sore from his arrival and his face felt heavy and fluffy. ‘Wait, fluffy?’ Opening his eyes, he was greeted with a wall of silver fluff.

“What the hell?” He yelped, reaching for his face and tearing the fluff off his face. “Where the hell am I? This doesn't look like any place on new earth, too many trees.” Indeed, he seemed to be in a grassy area surrounded by trees, something rather uncommon on the mostly metal covered New Earth. As the shape shifting entity looked around in awe at the mystery of nature around him, he failed to notice the ball of fluff on his face begin to wake up.

“Wha? Whats goin on? Ow! My poor head. Wait. This isn’t my house, this isn’t even a tree! It feels like . . .” The mothzie narrowed her eyes as she realized that something was holding her. “Hell no! I will not be held like a stuffed animal!” She shouted in outrage. “Hey you, jumbo!”

Now, you have to understand something here. While Feino had shouted at the comparative giant that was holding her, she never expected for it to understand her, or for it to respond. Why is that, you may ask. Well the reason is quite simple, breezies have their own unique language, a language that only a handful of non breezies can speak. So it’s quite reasonable that she was shocked when the being holding her responded her in perfect zien.

“Yeah?” Malnormala responded absent mindedly to the fuzz ball he held in his hand. Before a second had passed, he realized what had just happened, and took a closer look at the ‘ball of fuzz’ in his hands. It wasn’t a ball of fluff like he held but a very fluffy, very tiny, moth winged silver pony-thing. Not the weirdest thing he had ever seen. The tiny pony-thing, which honestly reminded him of a fairy, had wide silvery blue eyes as it stared up at him. “You wanted something?”

It took her a moment to recover, her throbbing head not helping matters, but Feino eventually managed to shout a response. “Yeah, you mind letting me go? I don’t like being held like a toy!”

Maln took a moment to ponder this, well he knew he would let her (it has a feminine voice) go, but how was up to debate. He could be nice, and just set her down, or be himself and drop her on the ground. So, as he did with every multiple choice problem that involved animals, which happened to come up a lot more often than he’d like, he picked the one that was less likely to hurt her. And then decided against it, because she has wings, and it would be hilarious to see what would happen.

“Okay.” He said with a smile.

“Thank you-!” She screamed as Malnormala dropped her, shocking her enough that she almost wasn’t able to stop herself. Flapping her wings furiously, she flew right into Malns’ face, fury in her eyes. “What is wrong with you!”

“You want a list? ‘Cuse, I’m warning you now, it’s pretty long.”

“Was that supposed to be funny?” Feino asked in a deadpan voice.

“Was it?”

“. . .I’m going home.” Deciding to leave the rude being flew past him towards her house, only to stop dead when she saw her home, or rather, what’s left of it. It was in ruins, the tiny little home was nothing more than splinters, and the tree behind it had a dent in it. “My, my home!”

Maln watched as  the little fairy-pony cried over the ruins of her home, an unfamiliar feeling welling up in the shifters chest, empathy. It isn’t something he is used too, used to only caring about himself and laughing at others misfortune, but this hit close to home for him. Here was this cute fluffy thing that had just lost her home, just like he lost his when he was banished.

“Hey look, um, fluffy fairy-pony thing. I’m sorry about your home.” He said weakly, honestly, what else could he say?

Apparently it was not a wise idea to draw the attention of a hung over breezie that had just lost her home. The tiny fluff ball spun around tear stained fur assisting in making the breezie look even more menacing. That is to say menacing at all.

“Okay, first of all I am a Lunar Mothzie, not a ‘fairy-pony’, though I am fluffy.  And my name is Feino, so use it! Second, sorry? Sorry! You probably destroyed it when you grabbed me from it you giant freak! On that note, why did you grab me in the first place? So you could laugh as you dropped me, then watch as I mourned my home? Well, answer me!”

Though the breezie was only about the size of Malns’ palm at the time, he was still sweating buckets. The natural fear all men possessed of an enraged woman holding true.

“Look, Feino. I didn’t destroy your home, and I didn’t grab you! Well, I did grab you, but only to get you off my face! I’ll apologize for dropping you, because I did do that. And you should have seen your fa-” He would have continued, but the fuzzy breezie gave him a killer look. “Okay, look. I’m not good at apologizing, but I’m sorry.”

Feino looked at Maln long and hard, searching for any sign of deceit in the strangers face. She saw none. She frowned. “I forgive you.” She held a hoof up to stop him from  responding. “That does not mean that you're off the hook, Mister Stranger Guy.”

“My names Malnormala, and what do you mean I’m not off the hook?”

Feino gave him a strange look, before laughing. “Y-your names-”

Maln cut her off, “Yeah.”

“So you’re . . .?” Feino was laughing so hard she could barely stay in the air.

“Yeah.” Maln growled out.

“R-really?” She was laughing so hard tears were pouring down her face.

“Yes! It is, I get it! Can we move on to why I’m apparently still in trouble.” Maln growled out, anger clearly visible in his now red eyes.

“. . . Did your eyes just turn red?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Is that normal for a whatever-you-are? Because if not you’ll need to see a doctor.” There was some concern in Feinos face. She flew closer to get a better look at the color changed orbs.

Maln waved her off, almost literally considering how close she was to him. He always enjoyed revealing his true nature to others, it was one of the few things he enjoyed doing that wasn’t against the law.

“Of course it’s normal for my eyes to change colors,” Maln began with a smile, “I am a shape shifter after all.” And Feino’s eyes widened as she stared, not into the face of some weired creature, but herself.